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Ace liked the kitchen of Heartslabyul, it was spacious and full of scrumptious delicacies from a trained professional that made it hard to hate it. Especially since the cherry pie was practically calling his name every time he walked in and picked up on the scent of baked goods
He licked his lips, tongue sticking out in anticipation for a sweet treat as he opened the fridge and found a fresh batch of Cherry Tarts that had recently been placed inside. Taking it out, he could tell that it was placed in there briefly, some warmth still on the glass dishware as he cut himself a piece and plated it. Taking a fork, he began to dig in, enjoying the sweet tangles of the bulging cherries, the sugar doing pirouettes on his tongue as he savored the taste like it was his final meal.
Shuffle shuffle
“Now, now Riddle-san, there’s no need to get so bent out of shape about it, I’m sure there are many capable candidates for the position.”
“He’s right Rids, take Deucey for example! He seems pretty reliable!”
Shit.
Ace looked around, not wanting to spend another week with a collar around his neck, as his eyes darted for a hiding place, deciding on the rather large cabinet below the stove top as he practically threw it open and stuffed himself into it, gently closing the doors behind him.
The dusty cramped room was a rather contradictory space compared to the lavish kitchen he had just been standing in. However, if it meant that he could avoid the Housewardens wrath and Grim’s taunts about him being collared for the 6th time that week, he was willing to bear with it for the moment.
“Hmm? Trey, I thought you stashed the Cherry Tart away earlier.”
“…It’s only been five minutes but I guess even then a lot can happen in such a short time period…like food snatching.”
Ace held his breath, scared to hear Riddle pop a vein as his thoughts scrambled to find an excuse, should he get caught by him.
He was surprised to hear him nonchalantly sigh however, briefly shuffle by the sound of it and heard the scuffling of a chair as he assumed he pulled it out to sit down in.
“To think you won’t be here next year to help…it will truly be an adjustment.”
What?
What was Riddle talking about?
“Like I said Riddle, there are plenty of capable people who are capable of replacing my duties while you spend your third year as Housewarden.” Trey reassured, Ace’s previously pounding heart stopping as his breath hitched at the sentence.
Oh that’s right..
In complete honesty, Ace had forgotten that Trey and Cater were third years and he had forgotten what this year probably meant to them. It would be their last one fully dedicated to being on just the campus. Next year, as fourth years, they would be off in their internships, researching and experimenting as they perfected the final stages of being the mages they had dreamed of becoming.
But it also meant that the dorm would grow more lonely and that there would be a different light to it. More importantly, Ace’s last night snack sessions would become more difficult to support, for the world class baker would be heading off.
“Capable? Maybe. Troublesome? Most definitely. If only some of them possessed the diligence you had for your internship preparation then maybe it could work but-“
“I say it’s more an acquired taste Rids, I know I can get by even without Trey to be there. Though I’m definitely going to miss his cooking~”
“You’re not usually fond of sweet stuff anyways Cater,”
On another note though, he couldn’t help but feel the pain in his chest as he thought more about their futures. They were so sure of themselves, in fact they had been figuring it out slowly over the past few days what type of internships they were going to commit to.
Ace had been unfortunate to walk in on some of those sessions and be chewed out by Riddle for breaking some kind of time etiquette rule.
However, it didn’t mean that he hadn’t been listening around the corner, paying attention (for once) to them constructing ideas and exchanging suggestions with one another. And boy did it seem like a lot of work. Ace would be damned if he thought he could be as on top of it as they were.
Which led to one more question:
What did he want to do?
He hadn’t really been given the time to think about it, any of it really, but he couldn’t seem to figure out what interested him besides simple card tricks and chaotic Unbirthday parties. It was hard to picture himself away from NRC, somewhere off in the world, doing his best as he used magic in his life.
“Irrelevant! Anyway, like I said before, take Deucey for example! I bet he could totes pull it off!”
He remembered that Deuce had mentioned wanting to work in the police department, eager to protect and serve and he had laughed his head off at the idea of Deuce catching criminals with cauldrons. But the difference between him and Deuce was that Deuce had a clear goal in mind, a hurdle that he could see from miles away.
Ace? His mind went fuzzy at the thought.
“After all, he may not got the head but he’s got the spirit, isn’t that what counts?”
“Cater, you know it takes more than a simple good willed heart to lead. How do you think Riddle’s been doing it all these years?”
“Yes, just how do you think I’ve been enforcing the rules?”
Speaking of rules, Ace remembered being really pissed one day after he broke another one of Riddle's rules. Unlike challenging him to another magic match like he did for his overblot, he challenged Riddle to a chess match, forgetting how strategy games like that actually worked in his favor. In other words, he had fought a losing battle and ended up with 3 months of painting the roses all by himself.
However the game just proved how horrible he was at planning ahead and how he constantly made the wrong decisions in the present moment.
So, if that game reflected his thinking patterns, then what had he been doing with his life?
“Riddle, the point is that you won’t be able to handle everything by yourself on top of your studies. I seriously think you need to consider picking a new Vice Housewarden.”
He felt a weight settle.
To think that it was all boiling down to this, that all those overblots, and fights later, that life had still been moving on despite them. And he had been left behind. He had forgotten about it, pushed it to the back of his mind and it had come back to bite him in the worst place possible.
He tried to calm his thoughts, take a deep breath like how Trey advised Riddle when he was about to blow a fuse because Ace stole a tart or broke another random rule.
“And who else do you recommend? Besides Cater’s suggestion, there isn’t another person who I can entrust such an important role.”
Important.
Had he been making the wrong choices?
If Riddle was considering Deuce but not even mentioning him, then was he really that stupid? That incapable? That hopeless? Why did he even care? Being a Vice Housewarden meant that he would have a lot of responsibility anyway, no way he wanted that extra load weighing him down.
But to be cast aside like that, he couldn’t stop himself from spiraling.
What did his future hold?
Happiness and success?
Defeat and heartbreak?
…Did he even have one?
He paused for a moment, trying his best to think.
He tried to imagine himself suited up alongside Deuce, ready to throw punches and fight crime. Tried to feel the grip of the magic pen in his hand, how it might collide to knock out the bad guys.
Only Deuce was there, no Ace.
He thought about maybe studying like Riddle and becoming a doctor.
Perhaps, his steady hands and cool demeanor could help him connect with patients. Help him run lab tests and work alongside budding scholars alike.
The idea was far fetched as only Riddle was seen in the white coat, not him.
Perhaps Trey’s bakery could prove useful, maybe his hobby could lead him to a delicious career option. He took a deep sniff, trying to imagine the heavenly scent of baked crust and delectable cherries
But the pestering trails of smoothed out wood was the only smell as the only one adorned in the apron was Trey.
Maybe Cater’s photography was something he could pull off, after all it was just simple photos and angle shots, how hard could that be?
He tried to envision the button below his finger, the scenery bending to his will as he casually adjusted the shot, squinting his eye to ensure maximum presentation.
But only Cater came to his mind.
Ace thought for what felt like hours, trying to see himself in different careers, different categories, different fates. And every time, he imagined someone else, some better suited, someone that wasn’t him.
And it hurt him more than he wanted to admit.
“Don’t worry Riddle, I’m sure a viable candidate will show himself eventually, how about a game of cards?”
“If you insist. Cater, I assume you’ll be joining us?”
“I’ve got nothing better to do Rids!”
There was more shuffling, followed by fading footsteps and then there was silence.
Ace slowly opened the cabinet door, shrinking at the low creaking it made as he climbed out, looking around as he fully stretched himself out. He looked at the half eaten Cherry tart, admiring the boldness of the red cherries as his thoughts swarmed silently in his head.
…. What am I even doing?
He took the dessert and walked to the trash, sliding the leftovers back into the fridge after he tossed his portion away, breaking rule #219 “One
Must Fully eat a Treat made by Another’s Hands” and made his way to the doorway.
Perhaps he should go to bed early tonight, reading a textbook or two before he falls asleep. And brush his teeth, a lot. His phone battery is near dead too, he should probably charge that.
With the cherry pie buried in the trash, he closed the lid, casting its bulging red hues into a haunting black shadow. He walked away, not bothering to bat an eye towards it, finding it irrelevant to his current dilemma as he walked towards the doorway and exited the kitchen.
He left the half eaten dessert behind, embraced only by the bottom pits of the disposal area. Where waste belonged.
Like garbage waste.
Animal waste.
Wastes of effort.
Wastes of energy.
Wastes of time.
Out of the corner of his eye, Cater glanced at the doorway of the kitchen, catching the carrot top exit and about to call over to him when he noticed a distant fog in his pupils.
There was something jittery about him and he seemed to be more contemplative than impulsive, his steps proving robotic as he walked. Cater, frozen from the sight, lowered his previously outstretched hand, hand tapping on his phone.
What’s up with Acey?
———————
“Trappola, I’m assigning you an additional assignment. Your test scores have been falling below the average and I would rather not have you showing up in my office for the third time this week.” Professor Trein was as moody as ever, Ace letting out a dramatic sigh as he looked at the extra paper he was handed, clearly getting under the teachers skin as Professor Trein spoke again
“Unless you would prefer remedial lessons? I don’t mind teaching you some proper manners alongside the Great Sevens history.”
“U-uh no! Thanks for the suggestion Professor Trein but I’m okay with the assignment!” He quickly rectified, holding up his hands in surrender as Professor Trein turned back around.
The rest of the class left as Ace stared at the test with a big red “D-“ written on the front. Deuce sat beside him, looking over his shoulder.
“Was it really that hard for you?”
“OH PLEASE LIKE YOU DID ANY BETTER-“
“Actually, I did pretty good.”
Deuce held up his own test, showcasing a rare “B+”, Ace pausing as he looked at the plausible test score and staring back at his own in bewilderment.
If Deuce had gotten a good score, was it really as simple as he said it was?
“He’s right Rids, take Deucey for example! He seems pretty reliable!”
Guess Cater wasn’t lying when he made that suggestion, Ace glancing over his test as he looked between the two exams, groaning as he slammed his head into the desk.
“I swear, the Great Seven must have come back to life if I see that Grim also managed to somehow pass…”
“Hm, yeah I don’t see that happening,”
“For once, you’re just as bright as that test score-“
“HEY WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”
As usual, their light hearted familiar banter filtered out from the classroom, into the hallway, towards the cafeteria and Ace couldn't be more thankful for a better distraction.
But something still gnawed at the back of his mind, something so heavy yet so foreign that he couldn’t simply dismiss the feelings of inadequacy as he desired.
He prayed it would go away.
———————
There was a joint class in Alchemy and Ace felt himself distancing himself from the crowd as he saw everyone pair up with classmates alike, eager to earn sufficient grades or to hang around their friends for an hour and a half.
Grades. Those were important for proving himself worthy of being a great mage. They were proof of hard work and dedication and more importantly, they could tell you a lot about the kind of work ethic that the person who it belonged to, specifically pertained to. In other words, grades were a heavily defining factor for future success and here he was head butchering his own because he couldn’t just get it together and focus on a measles set of instructions.
He let out an exasperated huff at the thought. Geez, was Riddle rubbing off on him or something? When did grades matter so much to him? It’s not like they were that big of a deal.
“Capable? Maybe. Troublesome? Most definitely. If only some of them possessed the diligence you had for your internship preparation then maybe it could work.”
What could Ace do? What was something that he had that could help him pull ahead of the others?
He couldn’t see anything, in fact he couldn’t think of what qualities he possessed that would be realistic to use to get ahead of the game.
He was seriously at a disadvantage and it made him shiver as he realized just how useless he was. Man, was he a walking circus or what?
His surroundings felt numb, the air engulfing him was prickly, and he could feel his eyes gloss over as they flicked all over his environment. He tried to regain stability, tried to pull himself out of his head, clenching his teeth, biting his lip, exerting pressure anywhere to snap himself out of it.
Sevens, why was his heart racing? He wasn’t doing anything physical, he was supposed to be fine, he was fine, why-
“Ace?”
Hey, he knew that voice. From his gloved hands, he met a certain green headed Vice Housewardens gaze, watching them widen slightly at his blank expression.
Oh, it’s just the Vice.
Trey meanwhile felt himself grow concerned as he watched the freshman snap back to reality. He had seemed to be zoned out and had startled a bit upon Trey’s arrival but overall his body language had been slowed to an unusual degree. He reacted slowly, hands jerking about as he processed the information and slowly reached a reasonable conclusion.
Trey quickly controlled his outward demeanor, adorning his face with a gentle smile.
“I suppose there’s only us left to partner up. Let’s do our best so Riddle doesn’t pop a vein or two.” He commented, Ace barely cracking a smile as he simply nodded in response.
Professor Crewel lectured the students on the instructions, having to crack his whip a couple of times to get them to focus on his demonstration as he explained the focus of today’s joint lesson. Eventually, the students dispersed and headed toward their respective cauldrons, Ace and Trey crowding around theirs as they swiftly got to work.
Trey was expecting Ace to goof off as he usually did, wave his arms around in a playful manner or relax them behind his head so that his elbows pointed towards the sky. He usually did weird impressions with the ingredients and messed around, as per Deuce’s explanations detailed when Riddle usually confronted them about their bad grades.
“I found the instructions, though I can’t remember the counter ingredient so I’m going to look it up real quick.”
On the contrary, Trey felt himself freeze like a deer in headlights when he watched Ace attentively readjust his safety gear and approach the correct textbook.
He watched him work, finding it strange how the underclassmen opened the textbook, scanning through it as he surveyed the necessary ingredients and double checked that they had them. He didn’t even murmur minor comments, simply read the directions and began calculating appropriate measurements.
Trey found himself a bit dazed, head only pulled from the clouds when Ace grabbed his attention.
“Hey Vice Housewarden, do you see the snake weed anywhere? I swore I picked it….” Ace asked, turning over the materials as he looked around for the herb in question.
If anything, it surprised Trey how diligent he was being, especially for a subject as dull as this one. Ace managed to find his herb and began to reread the direction but his body was far too rigid to seem like Ace. Trey felt himself caught off guard by his cooperation but more hurt by the switch of titles. Usually, he simply called him by name or teased him with a “big brother” or “dad" but he had used his formal position to address him. He had called him “Vice Housewarden” not even bothering to shorten it to “Vice” or anything like that. He used a formality, and that fact alone made this entire situation worrying.
He let the younger one finish the reading before Ace looked up, slightly confused at Trey’s concerned look.
“What?”
Ace’s eyes were so…foggy.
He couldn’t see into them, like something was blocking him from seeing what was going on in Ace’s head. He had closed his mind to him, refusing to let whatever was going on be seen by others. Instead, Trey had to rely on the physical cues to give him an idea. And he was getting very bad ideas.
Where was his usual teasing?
His classic sly smirk?
This wasn’t like Ace at all. It truly felt like a twisted alternative to the mischievous underclassmen that he was used to dealing with.
“Gotta say, I almost didn’t realize you were here, you’re acting rather well behaved compared to what I’ve heard Deuce tell me.”
Ace froze for a moment, Trey’s words catching him by surprise as he digested them. His hand hovered above the herbs, eyes downcast on them as tried to not let Trey’s simple observation get to him.
That approach to his words wasn’t really working in Ace’s favor.
Behaved? Him?
He must be losing it.
But not just that.
Deuce.
And Trey.
Talking about him?
Great Sevens, he knew he was hopeless but he didn’t need them to remind him.
He looked back at the instructions, sprinkling in some sage as he started chopping up the next ingredient.
“What of it? I can act however I want, I don’t remember you or Deuce being in charge of that.” He bitterly replied, adding unintended venom to the response.
Trey’s expression faltered at that, the snappy tone not like Ace’s usual teasing warmth that he gave. This was…colder. More sharp. Like instead of simply prodding, he was genuinely willing to stab at the people around him.
“Perhaps, but Y’know how exasperated Riddle gets when he sees you acting up. I bet he would also be surprised to see you doing your part.”
Ace finished his chopping, lifting up the board as he slowly slid the materials into the cauldron. He spared another glance towards the textbook, making sure that he was timing the interval between ingredients correctly. He paused for a moment, properly processing the last part of Trey’s sentence.
“Doing my part?”
“Yeah, you’re strangely listening for once and not tuning me out. Also, you’ve been following along to the textbook pretty well. I haven’t had to stop you.”
Ace looked up at Trey, meeting pupils that bore into him like they were trying to find something. They looked pensive, and they scanned him with the utmost interest, not wanting to miss whatever drew their attention among his current facial features.
Is…is that how I really am?
Ace looked down at the written instructions, the words blurring as he tried to wrap his head around what Trey meant with his statement.
Was he really that incompetent and dull?
“Oh…okay then…”
Trey felt that his suspicions had been confirmed as he heard Ace’s tone shift to an uneasy one. Not only that, but it seemed like Ace was unsure of himself, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
And that doubt was what made Trey reach out his hands towards the table. He lightly tapped near Ace’s fingers, the vibrations catching the freshman’s attention as he looked back up from the book.
“However, it’s not like a textbook is everything Y’know. I mean, if we think about Riddle and everything that’s happened, it proves that….” Trey trailed off, watching Ace’s eye continue to look at him blankly.
He shuddered a bit, not used to such an emotionless stance from someone usually energetic.
“Heh, yeah I guess you’re right, as always…you always know you’re stuff…if only I- OH crap I needed to add some pumpkin mush-“
Ace quickly reached his hand over, grabbing the ingredient and tossing it in.
Trey never got to hear the end of his mumbled sentence.
Frankly, he shouldn’t be worried about him. He was starting to take his studies seriously, in fact he proved to be rather reliable when he could pull himself together. Ace was so focused all of a sudden and maybe that was a good thing, especially considering that there weren’t going to be as many people to keep an eye on him once he and Cater left for their internships.
But the way that Ace turned from the book, blinking in a robust manner that didn’t fit his usual bouncy attitude. Trey didn’t like it. Not one bit.
He shook his head.
His previous thought before it was a stupid one.
Sure, good grades and diligent focus seemed good but not with such robotic movements and a voice that held no lighthearted laughter. Instead of a cheery gaze that brightened upon seeing his friend, he was met with an insecure glare that could only see the task in front him, rather than the people around him. Sure, it could be argued that such a quality was good for tackling difficult issues.
But what good was that if it took the light away from his eyes?
In his heart, Ace finished the unspoken sentence, carving the pain he felt as he looked up at the shining, role model right in front of him, sparkling in perfection and idealism.
Trey had his head together, he was in control and knew so much when they were only 2-3 years apart in age. He knew what he wanted to do, who he wanted to be. He had it all figured out. And that’s because he put the work in. Ace though? He was a moron. A straight up fool who was played by destiny’s mockery at every turn.
If only I wasn’t such an idiot then maybe I would have some kind of idea of what I could do….and I could know cool things like you do Trey…
—————-
It’s been a few days since Ace had heard (eavesdropped) that conversation between the three upperclassmen. And honestly, it was getting to him more than he cared to admit. The newfound guilt he found began gnawing at him as he slept and he felt like he had wasted so much valuable time that could have been spent towards his successful future. With misery, comes a rumbling stomach, so Ace found himself wandering the kitchen, blinking back the exhaustion as he sifted through the fridge, trying to find something else to fill his gut with rather than the idiocy he was.
He sighed, despite his stomach growling ferociously, because nothing seemed to match his midnight cravings. The cherry tart that he had taken a piece out of days ago looked more disgusting than appealing.
He had been doing his best to push that conversation to the back of his mind, and yet all it took was one look at the glossy red filling to make his stomach go sick and his eyes well up slightly from his late-night exhaustion.
He never liked crying, he didn’t think anybody did, but he knew for a fact just how repulsive of an experience it was. The warm liquid that either streamed or splattered down your cheeks, falling slowly or rhythmically into your lap as you whimpered and squealed in emotional pain. The way your vision blurred as your mind went blank and your body wanted to curl into itself from the sheer amount of stress it was feeling.
It was not something that he could find himself enjoying anytime soon.
“Don’t worry Acey! I won’t tell Rids I found you creeping at 2:34 AM in the cuckoo bird hour! Totes promise!”
Ace felt himself jump out of his skin, the way he turned to face the voice as he soon recognized the culprit to be Cater, beaming at him without a care in the world with one of his hands waving gently while the other held his phone.
“Not creeping anymore, I’m going to bed,” Ace quickly replied, shutting the fridge and brushing past his upperclassmen. He missed the detail about how Cater’s carefree expression quickly turned to one of stunned concern and Cater whipped his head around before he could think better.
Quickly, he latched his hand onto Ace’s shoulder, fumbling with his grip as he nervously spoke with the underclassman.
“No need to rush, is sugar not doing it for ya tonight? I absolutely get it! Y’know I’m not much of a sweet guy. I’ll be real with ya Acey, I came down here to make myself a bowl of spicy ramen!” He said, heading over to one of the cabinets and pulling out the kettle.
“Want me to make ya a bowl? Cay-Cay’s special late night-early morning treat! With a little kick!” He offered, Ace sighing as he realized it was too late to leave. He nodded, deciding to take him up on his offer, Cater nodding as he began prepping the tools and ingredients and then beginning to work. Instant ramen was the best and only choice, so Cater quickly got to work boiling the water, examining the spice packets and included seasonings.
Ace sat at the counter, watching him work as he tapped absentmindedly. His gaze, empty, stared at the reflective surface below, the night lights evident and hypnotizing as he refused to look up from his place.
Cater, meanwhile, held the bag of noodles in his hand firmly, his eyes growing more gentle as he watched Ace’s expression drop even further as time went on. He was starting to get a better picture of what Trey had been talking about.
After the events of a joint alchemy class, Trey had sat distracted during lunch with him and Riddle. He spilled the beans when Riddle called him out on his strange “jittery-ness” and Trey had commented on Ace’s strange behavior. Quote unquote, ”he was weird, not the normal kind, but rather the something is up that he’s not going to straight up, come out and say” and now he was seeing what he meant.
Ace had been sluggish, not his usual lazy kind but rather distracted or focused but not present. He would smile and curl his lips but whether or not they truly peaked up in the corners was up for debate as Cater swore he caught them sagging a couple of times.
Cater had at first dismissed it, Riddle in agreement as they had continued with their classes for the day. However, as they returned to the dorm, Riddle had spotted the heart marked freshman and scolded him immediately about how he broke Rule 90: Never Remove Thorns from a Rose after Eating Lunch.
As always, Riddle exploded but had managed to pull himself together to deliver Ace’s decided punishment, assigning him to trimming the maze for the next month.
Cater, knowing the annoyance of that situation, had tried to reason with him at first, telling him to cut Ace some slack. That’s when the table pulled an alarming 180 rotation on him. Ace had stopped him, shocking both of them as he agreed to the punishment and walked off towards the dorm rooms without another word
Riddle had given him a tedious task and he accepted it, no hesitation or backtalk. Ace had been ordered to tend to the Rose Maze, a haughty task that all students dreaded including himself. Ace was especially known for ditching or rather taking “prolonged breaks” as he would slack off or try to avoid his duties. But when Riddle had walked up to him, stubborn as usual and gifted him the task, the small enforcer froze at Ace’s compliance. To make a long story short, Ace accepted, no rebuttals or sarcastic commentary, and had worn the most nonchalant expression anyone had ever seen.
Honestly THAT terrified Cater.
Ace had fight in him, he was feisty and stubborn. He was known for being snarky yet quick witted with his words and most importantly, he wore his heart not just on his face but his sleeve as well. So, the fact that he hadn’t even stood his ground, hadn’t even made an effort to protest or fight back, meant that something was seriously bothering him.
Perhaps the late night atmosphere, the clear tiredness in his body movements and face, and the presence of his fabulous, favorite upperclassmen could gently nudge it out of him and provide them with some answers.
“I suppose a bowl or two won’t hurt…” Ace mumbled.
His cheek rested on his right hand, silence overtaking the room as he took deep breaths.
Cater felt sadness wash over him looking at Ace’s eyes. They looked so dull in his boredom, his pupils weighed by the boulders of turmoil rolling around in his mind. His fingers were strangely still, his usual fidgeting nowhere in sight as his entire body froze in place. His mind, however, clearly wasn’t getting the memo and the occasional squinting of his eyes told Cater more than any Magicam reel could summarize.
“Cater, the kettle is whistling…” Ace pointed towards the pot in question, Cater immediately snapping from his train of thoughts and scrambling to get the kettle from its stand. Walking towards the bowls, he quickly poured the water over, covering it with a plate to trap the air and properly cook it. Finally, all that was left to do was wait.
The silence came like a heatwave, unpleasant and painfully present, unable to do anything but endure it. Cater waited, eager to prove the doubts in his mind wrong as he continued to observe Ace’s timid manner. He felt the doubts creeping closer towards reality as he felt worry practically cradle his heart in his chest.
“Sooooo Acey, anything in particular keeping you up? Besides a hungry stomach I mean.” Cater broke the ice, smiling tiredly as Ace looked up from where his eyes were glued to the counter. He looked Cater up and down, looking like he wanted to say something but opting instead to look at his legs instead.
Cater pursed his lips, standing up from where he was previously leaning. He knew that Trey certainly wasn’t exaggerating now that he was getting a closer view of his precious underclassmen.
“Y’know, you’ve been acting strange…I didn’t think you would accept a task from Rids so willingly.”
Ace remained quiet. But he balled up his hands into a fist, trying to settle his nerves subtly. He failed to hide them however, considering Cater immediately caught on and continued pushing.
“Why’d you say yes? Is there some bet you made with another junior? Believe me, those guys like to make you broke faster than any scam post on Magicam can,”
Ace simply kept quiet, leaving Cater with not much to work with but his suppressed reactions as the beloved freshman sagged further into his seat.
“Don’t be shy Acey, I won’t tell, just give me the details and I’ll give you some Cay-Cay certified tips to help!” He gave him an innocent peace sign, trying to nudge him into a spot of comfort and get him to open up. He needed his words, otherwise there wasn’t much he could do to help.
But based on Trey’s earlier comment, that was easier said than done.
“It’s not that Cater. Am I not allowed to diligently serve our Housewarden?” He questioned the upperclassmen and Cater felt a wave of surprise hit him at Ace’s agitated attitude.
“You’re right, you are allowed to but you and I both know Acey that you don’t like to work without a prize in mind. So, what’s on the line huh?”
Just as soon as Ace had found the courage to talk, he lost it to the thoughts that crossed his mind.
What was on the line?
A chance. An instance. An opportunity to prove that he could do it. That he wasn’t the person that they whispered about behind closed doors. That they barely mentioned when discussing important issues. That they only cared about wherever trouble or mischief was concerned.
And maybe, if he filled his mind with work and what not, he could forget that Cater and Trey would not be there.
If he skipped breakfast, lunch, and dinner, he wouldn’t have to come face to face with the full scent of untouched wood and the absence of sugary pastries.
If he didn’t have time to play games or scroll through his socials, then he wouldn’t be forced to witness Cater go offline forever.
He wouldn’t have to think.
And maybe he wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not he was following their paths or a completely different one.
If he even had one.
“C’mon Acey, Y’know it’s better if you talk about it. I bet I can name all the times Yuu has told you to speak about your troubles rather than brush them away…”
He made his tone sweet as sugar, trying to ease Ace out of whatever anxiety kitties were tugging at his tongue. Ace remained quiet, taking deep, ragged breaths, as he blinked rapidly, starting to concern Cater as he started walking close.
“Acey…? Please say something…”
But the silence remained, uncharacteristically eerie for the freshman as Cater walked beside him.
“Ace-“
“Guh-goodnyet Cay-”
Ace’s words slurred, suddenly bolting passed him as he booked it out of the door and left Cater stunned at the countertop. The cheery Junior felt himself freeze, then he registered his feet carrying himself to the door, scanning the hallways.
But there was just darkness, no shadowy silhouettes giving even the slightest hint of where Ace disappeared too.
He felt a frown, pulling out his phone and opening up his messages app.
Cay~Cay: Rids, Trey, you were definitely onto something when you said Ace was acting strange. I’ll brief you guys in the morning
Behind him, his bowl of ramen warmed up, the noodles softening under the heat’s influence, unable to escape the defined borders of the bowl it was in.
And the other one?
It was left alone. And was left uneaten.
Wasted food.
Wasted potential.
Wasted time.
Ace clutched his chest, heart beating louder than he wanted it too as he slumped against the empty hallway wall. A bead of sweat trickled down his neck, charm sized tears spilling down his cheeks as he struggled to pull himself together.
Great Seven, if he could tell Cater his problems, he would’ve. Hell, Cater was right about Yuu’s whole “talk it out” attitude but when he realized what was bothering him he couldn’t say it.
After all, how can he tell the person who’s causing it that it’s them?
It doesn’t matter anyway…Cater will be gone just like Trey….
It doesn’t matter.
But it did.
——————————
It started with a panicked freshman entering the library, frantically calling out Riddle’s name.
His first instinct was to lecture him, potentially collar him for the public disruptions and violation of the sacred library’s rule, until he caught a whiff of his terrified expression.
His eyes were practically petrified, fumbling over his words as the student barely got verbal sounds out of his mouth.
“H-housewarden…. F-fight!- With y-your freshman-man!” He cowardly squeaked.
Riddle sighed, immediately leaving his book in tidied piles. He would come back later. As of right now, his duties came first and he refused to let this ordeal go without proper compensation.
“Very well. Lead the way.”
Fights were common among the dorms of Night Raven College, after all, students weighed their own pride against each other each day, and this was an unfortunate result of their inability to cooperate with one another.
However, fights involving his card soldiers were rare instances. After all, such affairs came with strenuous repercussions that usually only required one session to get a message through. And he was adamant about getting it through their skulls just what it meant when they decided to meaninglessly throw their hands like unruly animals.
In the Courtyard, he heard the distant yelling of gathered students, a chant seeming to build up in volume as he quickened his pace, magic pen at the ready. He eventually stumbled upon a large circle of students, cheering at whatever bloodshed was at the center of the display of violence. They all towered over Riddle, making him unable to see what enraptured them so much as he pushed his way through them.
Eventually, he pushed his way to the front, annoyed expression turning to one of pure shock as he observed a head full of teal hair whirl past him.
“Eh~? Crabby’s really crabby today huh? Guess Sea Snake’s wins that bet…”
“FUCK OFF FLOYD!”
Riddle felt his blood run cold, hearing his usually cheery freshman spit such a disgusted tone at someone who he himself felt annoying. While he did criticize, even he admitted that his tone wasn’t so full of resentment at the one that Ace’s had.
“This time when I squeeze you Crabby, I ain’t letting go~”
“What? Not in the mood the first time? Just fucking try it Leech.”
As they both went to lunge for the other, Riddle dictated that it be the best time he stepped in to end their feud.
Raising his pen, he recited a small incantation, causing the two of them to trip over a suddenly untied shoelace and stumble onto the dirt below.
He watched as their faces dropped in surprise, not expecting the sudden misfortune as they dropped to the ground, clumsily kneeling to the Crown that had entered the chessboard.
As soon as their faces planted into the ground, Riddle unleashed his final trick: His signature spell.
“OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!” He hollered, silencing the entire area.
The clink of the metal collars reverberated throughout the courtyard, the petite housewarden face growing redder with fury by the second.
He watched Ace slowly reach up towards his neck, his breath hitching unnaturally as he looked with wide, blood shot eyes as his gaze connected with Riddle’s.
The expression was haunting.
Riddle felt himself taken aback by how rabid Ace appeared, looking up at him like a dumbfounded toddler trying to comprehend what happened to their collapsed building blocks. His hand lingered on the collar, hands trembling as unsteadily as his breathing patterns were becoming.
Riddle tried to speak, but this image of Ace was so unnatural to him that it threw him off completely. This didn’t look like Ace at all.
A trembling figure wasn’t at all who Ace was. Just what was going on in his head?
“H-housewarden…”
“Ace.”
“Neh? What’s goldfish doing? It was just getting good!”
“I’m talking to Azul later about you, Floyd. As for you Ace, you best explain yourself back at the dorm or else that collar will remain on your neck for the rest of the year, understand?”
Ace nodded timidly, eyes still wide with fear as he sucked in a deep breath. For some reason, he was incredibly shaken by Riddle’s presence, why was that?
“WELL? STOP STANDING AROUND AND DO SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE!” Riddle called out, watching the circle that had originally gathered, immediately collapse, as students fled the scene. Riddle meanwhile, turned his focus on his underclassmen, expression stern as he began walking, Ace stumbling to his feet to follow behind him.
They walked in silence full of anticipation, the thudding of their feet the only steady rhythm as Riddle dragged Ace back to Heartslabyul, phone in hand as he sent two upperclassmen a concise message. He quickly placed his phone away, continuing to walk with his head held high, not noticing the mess that Ace was slowly becoming as he walked behind him.
Ace walked with the clumsiness of a newly born giraffe, legs shaking as his heels met the perfectly regulated silt beneath his shoes. His eyes blinked, acknowledging the exhaustion he tucked away in his mind every night, its presence alerting him to its presence as he tried to grapple with his current situation.
Riddle. Riddle was furious with him.
No….no no no, shit! Why is he mad? Damn it! I should’ve just shaken Floyd off when I had the chance!
He felt a noise strangle itself in his throat, mind gaining momentum as it picked up speed running around on the race track of his noggin.
Heartslabyul entrance was in front of his face before he knew it, his heart being aorta deep in his chest as it sunk in dread. The collar around his neck felt tightly woven, like he would suffocate if it remained around his neck.
He wanted to leave.
“Ace, take a seat.”
Ace complied.
A tea set clinked softly in front of him, his eyes aiming for the culprit behind the sound. He felt his breath be yanked from his lungs as he found Trey looking at him with worry pressed into a thin frown line.
His eyes widened further when he noticed someone’s weight sink into the couch across from him, practically deprived of oxygen upon noticing Cater with an uncharacteristic frown on his face.
“Ace, it’s best that you be absolutely honest with us. Do you understand?” Riddle interjected his thoughts running marathons in his head, the freshman snapping back into a situation he didn’t want to be involved in.
“Y-yes, Housewarden,” he stuttered.
“Acey, what’s going on?” Cater asked, catching him off guard at how sincere his tone was.
“Huh-”
“Don’t play dumb Ace, we’ve seen your actions for the past couple of weeks. Please, don’t be afraid to be honest with us.” Trey added.
Ace bit his lip. Get him out. Right now.
He went to scratch at his neck, feeling the collar still tightly bolted shut as he panicked at its presence slowly closing his airway.
“L-look, I’m sorry for fighting with Floyd, I’ll paint the roses or whatever but just don’t bother with me, it’s not-”
“You’re not painting another rose, Ace Trappola. I make rule breakers take punishments, not victims.” Riddle interrupted.
Please, don’t push your luck…
“Ace?”
“Acey?”
Just leave me alone.
“Ace, please talk to us. We want to help.”
“Acey, is there someone bothering you?”
Your efforts are wasted on me.
“We’ll help you! Just tell us who it is that’s bothering you!”
This is a waste of time.
Ace really needed to express his gratitude to Coach Vargas for training him to act quickly under pressure. He also needed to thank him for helping him build up speed to sprint away from the people who have been plaguing his mind for the past weeks. He couldn’t take this. He can’t deal with this. Not today.
“ACE!”
The kitchen cabins. It was the worst possible hiding place he could have chosen. But he didn’t want to go back to his dorm and his roommate questioned him on why he had a collar around his neck.
More importantly, he didn’t want anybody to ask why he was shaking.
He swore there was an earthquake, his body was trembling so badly that he felt off balance and his heart was beating so violently in his chest that it was clawing at his lungs. The darkness of the enclosed space did anything but ease his fears, collapsing into him as he felt the collar around his neck dig into his veins. He felt the breath flowing through him speed its way out of his body, depriving him of oxygen as he slowly suffocated, tears welling up with terror as his fingertips fell through the floor.
His heart was banging so loud that he swore it was blasting drums or something with how much it echoed in his ear canals. His breath, unevenly ragged, could barely keep up and he slowly started to drown in his head. Encased in the cabinet, all he could do was let out a measly whimper, feeling loneliness creep inside somehow despite the closed door.
The three upperclassmen searched the hallways, feeling dread wedge itself in their minds as they frantically looked for Ace after his abrupt departure. Riddle had barely managed to react, not expecting such a fast paced maneuver. He met back up with Trey and Cater, all of them crowding around the dorm’s kitchen as Trey pushed open the doors.
The area had been cleaned beforehand, especially with the development of dinner occurring soon and Trey had been especially picky on touching every nook and cranny. He doubted that anyone could hide away though because of all the cramped tableware and kitchen tools that crammed every single possible space of the cooking area.
At least, that’s what Trey thought until he heard a staggered inhale come from the cabinet under the table in the middle. It sounded so strained and feeble, like its breath was being yanked from its lungs.
Concern settled on his face as he yanked the cabinet doors open, heart dropping as the light of the kitchen illuminated the trembling boy in front of him.
Ace was practically curled into himself, pressing his knees dip into his chest but his armswere pressing against the walls like they were pressing into him. Tears streamed down his face as he tried and failed to pull himself, hands clawing at the collar that Riddle had clinked against his neck.
Immediately, his whimpering, short lived, breaths brought him back and immediately caught the attention of Riddle and Cater, who felt their hearts sink as seeing Ace’s vulnerable state.
“Riddle!-”
“I know!”
Riddle removed the collar from Ace’s neck, a loud clang barely startling the younger from his thoughts as he wheezed and sputtered about. Despite the absence of the collar, his breathing was getting worse, his tears pooling down as he struggled to grasp with the reality around him.
He clawed at the wood around him, causing the wood to splinter and scratches to form on his fingertips.
Cater looked in horror as he witnessed Ace practically come apart in front of him, his heart stopping at how the freshman pressed himself deeper into the cramped space of the cabinet.
“Trey?”
“Don’t worry Cater, I know how to handle this.”
Trey took charge, knowing that attempting to immediately yank Ace out of the cabinet was a bad idea, considering it would only startle him and further worsen the situation.
“Ace, it’s okay buddy, I’m right here…”
Ace swore he heard someone, he swore he could hear the faintest tone of sincerity. He didn’t completely trust his ears but something in his mind was telling him to try and open them further to let the noise in.
There isn’t another person who I can entrust such an important role to
Who was he kidding? Who would bother with him? They all practically talked behind his back, they didn’t trust him, hell he wouldn’t trust himself either. He couldn’t take anything seriously, treating the world and people around him like some stupid game and he couldn’t stop.
Riddle was right to say that about him. He wasn’t important, he didn’t matter enough to have a role, let alone a future. He didn’t have anything to his name, he was simply a figure, a background character to be ignored and glossed over in the end.
He didn’t have a future.
He was far too impulsive and acted on his short temper rather than thinking things through. He picked fights and got under people's skins on purpose because his own insecurity was so unbearable for him to handle thinking about anything else.
He didn’t have a future.
He smirked like he was a smartass when he couldn’t even earn a decent grade that reflected moral, worthy work ethics and his weakness was practically screaming over and over again in his face. He didn’t know what he wanted or what to do and the only people who had a chance of helping him were going to be gone for good.
He didn’t have a future.
He couldn’t do anything on his own, he was stuck relying on others for their skills and expertise and slacked off at any given chance. He could have spent so much time improving but he chose not too simply because he couldn’t find the motivation or energy.
HE HAD NO FUTURE.
It didn’t matter how many nights he stayed awake or how many answers he got right. It didn’t matter how many were amused by card tricks or how many people he could smooth talk into benefitting him.
There was no future that he held. Nothing mattered.
He could disappear and it wouldn’t matter. Because looking at everything, he didn’t matter to anyone, so therefore he was as good as the dust that collected in the grooves of a farmer's shoes.
HE DOESN’T HAVE A FUTURE!
“Ace, I promise you do, okay? Just breathe with me alright?”
His ear pressed against something that pulsated strongly, something that held a steady, easily counted beat. It held such a powerful presence, he swore that it made his own sound so quiet in comparison.
“You hear that Ace? I need you to follow it.”
Follow it? What was he following? And how was he supposed to follow after him when his legs wouldn’t move. His hands were trembling so badly that he was unsure that he could steady them as firmly as the pulse that rang in his ears.
“There you go, deeply now, ready?”
He caught just a smidge of air in his lungs, something causing his chest to expand as his fingers clutched something soft, gentler in texture compared to the wood in the cabinet.
“Good, let it out now,”
His body shook as the air left his lungs again, panic setting in again at the lack of oxygen but the voice quickly returned to reassure him.
“Let’s do it again, breathe in Ace.”
Air, while staggered, came in larger quantities, filling up his lungs as it reignited his senses and he started to process the world around him once again.
“Out.”
He could feel the tears that gently treaded down his cheeks.
“In.”
His fingers were stinging because there was splinters stuck in them.
“Out.”
He could taste that salt that came from the tears that lingered around his lips.
“In.”
The first thing he saw was a night raven college uniform, the iconic rose red hue of the Heartslabyul vest darkened by his tears digging themselves into the fabric.
The second thing was how white his knuckles were from gripping it tightly and he made an effort to slowly release them, feeling the ache from how firmly he was previously holding the fabric.
The thumping of the steady heartbeat quieted down, Ace observing the glowing magestone on the floor as it flickered off. It had clearly finished it’s intended task and Ace wondered if it was until he processed the vibration of his upperclassman firm voice.
“I’m so glad that worked.”
Ace tilted his gaze slightly upwards, meeting Trey’s relieved gaze as he put two and two together: He had been hearing Trey’s heartbeat, amplified tenfold, courtesy of his signature spell.
“Heya Acey…” Cater softly greeted, waving a shy hand in front to grab his attention.
Ace simply looked at him, quiet as a mouse.
Riddle sat behind him, silently observing him, giving him a generous nod, seeming to invite him to do something.
Then, Ace’s eyes welled up in the corners of his eyes, his lips attempting to curl up to hide it as he tried to pull himself together.
“I..I just can’t...” He admitted.
“I’m scared…because I have no future.”
“Acey, that's a lie made up because of a single part of you. But in your entirety , you do have a future.”
“A part of me?”
“We all have parts that we conceal Ace, but that doesn’t mean they should be reasons for shame. Trust me, I know it better than anyone here. It also seems that we haven’t been helping you understand it, as we upperclassmen should be. Especially since that is part of my role as Housewarden.” Riddle admitted.
He placed his hand on top of Ace’s hair, ruffling it slightly much to the protest of the younger one, who’s laughter sounded more genuine than forced as Riddle relished the change of mood.
“I’m sorry Ace, for not noticing your pain.” He apologized.
Ace sat there, frozen in place as he tried to register what Riddle had just said. There was no way that Riddle had knelt before him, a mere card soldier, and offered his condolences like he was royalty.
“Truly Ace, you have many talents, including how you can voice your thoughts so nonchalantly.”
Ace covered his mouth with hand, feeling his cheeks flush of embarrassment. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
His mind wandered back to his meltdown earlier, reciting Trey’s earlier words in his head as he felt the heat rush to the tips of his ears.
“W-wait, so that means you also heard me go off-”
“Yes, we did Ace.”
Ace’s jaw tightened as that, his hands retreating into his lap as he curled slightly, only for him to be forced to sit upright due to his position in Trey’s embrace.
“Don’t even think about retreating Acey, we’re talking this out right here and now.” Cater teased, a small threat lingering under his innocent smile as he reached for Ace’s shoulder.
“W-what do you mean Cater? I just-”
Ace was caught off as Cater pressed the air out of him, embracing him so tightly and refusing to let him go. His eyes widened at the contact, wanting to brush it off but finding himself melting into it instead.
“I promise you have a future. It all will come to you, it will all fall into place but you don’t need to worry your head about it sweet, anxious frosh. Just keep K.Oing the comp as you always do! When you can’t find comfort around you, you can always rest in yourself.” Cater advised.
“...so it’s possible for me?”
Cater pulled back, smiling sweetly as he nodded enthusiastically.
“Totes right Acey. It’s always possible, especially for such a charming frosh like you.”
“For once, you should listen to him, Ace.”
He turned to Trey, who smirked at his backhanded compliment, Cater gasping dramatically at the statement.
“What do you mean Trey? It’s practically paradise to listen to me. I have all the best ideas!”
Ace felt his body uncurl, starting to relax as the tension eased out of him and he chuckled softly.
“Ace, I know that this fear has settled itself and that it will never completely go away but I know for a fact that it will get easier to manage.” Trey reassured, rubbing soothing circles into his back.
“It just takes time, alright?”
Ace nodded, smiling with content as his upperclassmen breathed a sigh of relief of his improved state of being.
“THANK SEVEN! I WAS SO WORRIED! I SAW YOU CRYING AND YOU’RE ONE OF THE LAST PEOPLE I COULD SEE FALLING APART SO I WAS REALLY AT A LOST!” Cater blurted.
Ace just chuckled, staring at his hands, the feeling of the shakiness still burned into his retina.
“Yeah, I wasn't expecting it either.” He replied, feeling Cater hug him tightly once more.
Only this time, he felt multiple bodies embrace him, their grip on him tightening as he relaxed into their hold. The tension in his shoulders evaporated and he felt at peace in their arms.
Sure, Cater and Trey would depart and he may not see them as often but that just meant that he would have to improve himself so that on those rare moments that they did meet, he could show them just how much he had learned.
He wanted answers, and he thought he would get them by asking a million different questions. But all he got was a million different doubts. He didn’t have the strength to quell them on his own. But he had to remind himself of the people hugging him to death right now. How, even so far away, they would be willing to drop anything to ease the fears and relieve him of their stressful pressure.
They were still here. He had a chance. He was capable of finding a future, and he would do it with them.
He was unsure but today he felt certain about one thing.
He loved these people so much. And he would rather be caught dead than admit it outloud.
"It's nice to see your smile Acey~ I look forward to visiting just to see it all over again!"
"He's right, despite how many times it has been a source of Riddle's frustrations, there's something refreshing about seeing it right now."
"First off, it's not the smirk itself but the usual intent behind it. Second, you're right, there is something nice about seeing you smile after such a long time."
The tears fell down before Ace could stop them, relief rattling his entire being as the people around him hugged him tighter. They saw him. They cared.
"How about I get you a slice of the cherry tart? I think you could use some sugar."
Ace's smile simply widened in ecstasy.
"Thanks Vice."
"Queen's Rule 17: One must never spoil themselves with dessert before supper."
"OH COME ON RIDS LET IT GO!" Cater whined.
Ace simply chuckled.
He still had to admit that there a bittersweet feeling knowing that this interaction would be one of a rarity in the future. But he found himself choosing to enjoy rather dwell. The future was ahead of him, might as well enjoy where he was right now.