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I counted.

Summary:

"Seventy-two days since we last saw each other, sixty-seven before that, and before that 283. In other words I waited two and a half months to see you twice in a row and almost eleven before that. That's 407,520 minutes." Xiao's eyes shimmered in the setting sun like golden waves on a beach and never left Aether's. The eye contact took the blond's breath away, almost forgetting he was in the middle of a conversation he muttered a reply. "How could you possibly know that?" "I counted."

Notes:

I haven't written in a while but I was reading and this idea came to me! It's late when I wrote this so I hope I didn't get any of the math wrong...

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Seventy-two days since we last saw each other, sixty-seven before that, and before that 283. In other words I waited two and a half months to see you twice in a row and almost eleven before that. That's 407,520 minutes." Xiao's eyes shimmered in the setting sun on the Wangshu Inn balcony, like golden waves on a beach and never leaving  Aether's, not even just for a moment. The eye contact took the blond's breath away, almost forgetting he was in the middle of a conversation he muttered a reply. "How could you possibly know that?" "I counted." 

 

A small gasp escaped Aether's lips. "I counted every single second since I last saw you. The moment I could no longer see you as you started your journey outside of Liyue after my birthday I started counting. I always do. I count and I wait till the next moment I see you." The yaksha's eyes never faltered, he was dead serious this much was apparent. Aether always knew Xiao cared for him he always knew the adeptus to always be listening for him but to count every second they're apart? That seemed unheard of especially for someone who he was always thought to be only focused on protecting Liyue. "But.. why? Why would you do that? Does that not take your focus away from your contract?" 

 

Xiao scoffed at the question and crossed his arms clearly offended. "What a foolish question. For the Great Adeptus Xiao something as simple as counting while fighting is an easy task, nothing impressive about it." His eyes rolled a little while replying. Despite the clear annoyance being displayed by the man in front of him Aether saw right through it and a smile formed on his face. "I apologize oh great adeptus please forgive me, but it does appear you have forgotten to answer my first question. Clearly you must have your focuses shaken every now and then, no?" "Tsh I did not forget I simply chose to not answer." "And why's that?" Nothing but silence came from the yaksha's mouth. 

 

The atmosphere around the two changed, what once was a light banter quickly turned solemn. The air once warm around them seemed to turn cold as silence encased the men in a tight hug, squeezing them uncomfortably. Aether inhaled sharply unsure of what he said that caused this reaction. "Do not act like that.. you did nothing wrong, it's me, that is all." Xiao spoke up after seeing the Hero of Liyue squirm in place clearly being tortured by his silence. "Oh I see but I still don't really understand? What about you is wrong?" A brief moment passed before the yaksha decided to look Aether in the eyes again and respond. 

 

"I am just afraid of how you'll react if I told you my reason why I counted. Why I counted for you." The blond's eyebrows furrowed unsure why Xiao would ever be afraid of Aether. "I'd never judge you if that is the reason for your anxiety. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't truly want to know." While speaking Aether instinctively wanted to grab hold of Xiao's hand and rub circles into it as a way to say 'You have nothing to fear.' He didn't though to afraid to touch the shorter man without permission. Almost as if Xiao could sense the way Aether wanted to hold onto his hand, Xiao's eyes flickered to his hand for a brief second before speaking.

 

"I know that, I know you, I know you're almost entirely incapable of judging another. I am afraid because I do not want to burden you. I'm afraid that if I tell you you'll feel like you're forced to come see me more and stray from other things. You're too kind for your own good." There was a pause before Aether spoke, needing a minute to think before speaking. "Well I think you're too selfless for your own good. So scared that you'll burden me just for telling me how you feel and thinking you would force me to do something. Everything I do is for a reason. If I do not want to do something I won't do it. Do you know how many commissions I turn down just because I'm to tired?" A feeling of concern spread throughout Xiao's nerves. "If you're ever too tired to do something let me know. I am more than capable of doing anything you may need help with. Just call out for me. I'll come." 

 

A sigh is let out from Aether's light pink lips, exasperated by the man in front of him. "While I appreciate the sentiment that was not what I wanted you to take from that." With a furrowed brow Xiao replied. "I apologize and I do understand that it's just important to me that you know I will always be there for you." A light red found its way onto Aether's ears. "I know you will be and I want to always be there for you too, that's why I want you to know you'd never burden me with anything." Golden eyes darted around frantically trying to find any amount of lie that could be given off of Aether's face, when none was found the yaksha let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

 

"Alright, if you truly wish to know I suppose I can tell you." A smile spread across the blond's face happy he was able to convince the reserved man to open up. "I do really wish to know." "Fine but let me take you back to the mountain where we first spent lantern rite together all those years ago." The adeptus reached out to hold onto the man's shoulder. The touch sending shocks through out both of their bodies. In a flash they were atop the mountain. 

 

"Sit." Xiao commanded and obediently Aether did as told. The raven haired man looked up to the night sky and took a breath before speaking. All Aether could see was the beautiful yaksha in front of him, enamored by his beauty. "At first I didn't even realize I was doing it. I just started counting the second I could no longer see you once we first met it wasn't on purpose it was almost like reflex I didn't know why I did it I just did. It continued on till the next time I played eyes on you and I realized I stopped." Xiao paused to turn his head and look at Aether, he found him staring right back at him with his honey yellow eyes. The blond nodded his head telling Xiao to continue, so he did. 

 

"I was a little confused by it at first but I found the counting helped ease my constant anxiety. It felt like I was supposed to do it, like it was a natural instinct. It gave me something to look forward to. Something I hadn't felt in a long time... I almost fell to my karmic debt once many moons ago after our first lantern rite. I was in immense pain I felt as if I was about to die like my mind was being torn straight from my skull and like I couldn't control what I was doing I was flailing around Dihua Marsh. The only thing I could think of was the last number I was on. So that's all I did was count while I felt like I was in my final moments. That's when a wave of peace spread over my mind along with determination. I wanted to reset that timer, I wanted to see you once more and bask in your smile. I just couldn't fall at that moment. So that's is why I count, to see you, to reset my timer, to continue living, you are everything to me, you are what keeps me going. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't of been counting when that moment in the marsh but I know that no matter how much pain I endure while counting, it will always keep me grounded and remind me of you. My everything." 

 

Aether's eyes were welling up, he couldn't believe he almost lost Xiao and never knew. He couldn't believe he was the reason he didn't lose him. No words could express the emotions he was feeling, no words could express everything he wanted to tell the adeptus. He wanted him to know he's glad he has a coping mechanism, he wanted him to know that he will come see him more often not because he feels like he has to, but because he's always felt drawn to Liyue, to Xiao. He always had a lingering feeling in the back of his mind to go Xiao to go back and sit atop this very mountain with him and look up at the skies, he felt like he was always waiting for a chance to go back and see him but one never arose. 

 

To know that the feeling was reciprocated made Aether's chest tighten. "I wish I would have known about that back then. I would have came and saw you right away, but I'm so proud of you for being able to get through that. You're so strong." Aether finally reached out and grabbed the adeptus' hand and grasped it tightly wanting Xiao to know he was there for him and meant what he said. Xiao in response immediately held it back, their hands felt as if they belonged together. "It was nothing, in fact it's almost expected." Xiao turned his head away from Aether embarrassed by the compliment. A small giggle was let out by the blond and Xiao tried to commit the sound to his memory. "Even if so, it's still incredible you're very resilient. I hope that never happens again I don't know what I would do if you were to have fallen..." His eyes once again began to fill with tears which began to fall after actually speaking his worries.

 

Immediately this was noticed by the yaksha even while turned away. Xiao's other hand quickly found its way onto Aether's face and softly yet diligently began to wipe the falling tears. "I could never let that happen. Not if it meant I could no longer see you. Not if it meant you would be alone with no one constantly waiting on your call to come help if you ever needed it. No I could never fall if it meant I left my everything behind." Xiao whispered the whole time while wiping away the water that fell from the other man's eyes. 

 

Aether stared at Xiao whose brow was furrowed, focused on making sure none of the tears fell off his face. The sight filled his heart with joy. To be cared for so deeply by someone, to actively be the most important person to someone, it felt so good. The blond released the yaksha's hand and through his hands around his neck instead. The act shocked Xiao at first but immediately he wrapped his arms around Aether's waist finding that it felt so natural for them to be there. The hug lasted several minutes neither men saying anything just laying in each others arms. Xiao fell onto his back while holding the blond still. Deepening the hug and holding him closer. The action put a smile on Aether's face which was felt by Xiao as currently Aether's head was in his neck. 

 

The two laid there longer neither wanting to move and finish the embrace. Aether's tears soon dried up feeling reassured by the yaksha's hands rubbing up and down his back comforting him. "Thank you for being here, thank you for allowing me to care for you like this. I hope I can continue to care for you for a very long time." Xiao finally spoke up his words soft and seeping with affection. "Of course you can and I hope you allow for me to care for you as well, I want to care for you, I want to show you how much love I have for you." Xiao's eyes flickered to the blond still laying his head into his neck. "I... want you do that I want to feel your love and care. I want to be able to feel that. I don't mean to be selfish but I really want you to come here more often and show me that love so I can give it back to you." 

 

Aether picked his head up to look at Xiao, he wanted him to see him when he spoke to him. "I will I promise. I won't ever have you wait 407,520 minutes to see me ever again. I never want to go that long seeing you either. I want to be here to love you to feel your love, to be your everything." A smile appears on Xiao's face a rare right a sight so beautiful Aether wished he had his Kamera to take a photo right now. "No matter how long I go without seeing you you'll always be my everything, but I'm so glad you'll be here for me. I look forward to seeing you more. To spend more moments with you, to doing this again, to being on this mountain together, to doing even more with one another." 

 

The two felt drawn to each other. Their faces gravitated towards one another almost as if on instinct. Their was a short pause where they locked eyes Aether's softened and Xiao's gently confirmed that what were to happen next was okay. Their lips found one another almost instantly after. Xiao's lips slightly chapped and Aether's unimaginably soft. Yet they fit so well together. The kiss was sweet gentle and slow. It was like they were trying to take the time to remember everything about each others lips. They fell into a gentle rhythm of of moving back and forth onto each others lips chasing one another. When they eventually needed air they only took a short breath before locking lips again.

 

Xiao's tongue rolled along Aether's bottom lip gently asking for permission. Slowly the blond opened his mouth to let him in and their tongues began to dance around each other, the action wasn't in desperation but in attempt to tie themselves together, to stay close, to show how they wished to be knotted together. Xiao's began to suck on Aether's tongue and moved his hand up and down his back applying light pressure. The action caused Aether to let out a hum in pleasure. The sound was beautiful Xiao will also be trying to commit that one to memory. The men continued to make out and let their tongues show their love for one another. When the two separated they were both flushed and had smiles on their faces.

 

 "I think I'll start counting till the next time we do that." Xiao let out a hum before responding by placing a long deep kiss onto the blonds lips. "Mm well I don't think you'll reach longer than 3 minutes." A chuckled escaped from Aether after the retort from Xiao. "I hope not. And I hope you never have to go longer than that to see me either."  "I hope so too, I want nothing more than to spend forever with you." With that Aether placed a kiss on the adeptus' cheek and used his hand to rub the other. "I plan to make sure that happens." A soft smile was on Xiao's lips, he closed his eyes and rubbed Aether's back once again as he began to count till the second he opened his eyes and saw the lovely boy in front of him again. 

 

~

Notes:

I hope you all enjoyed I think I'm really proud of this work it might be my favorite thing I've written so far! Feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts I'm still a beginner writer and don't mind taking constructive criticism! Love y'all <3