Chapter Text
Molly: Raccoons!
Diane: Oh for dads sake, Molly– can’t you swear like an adult?
Molly mildly hysterical: No! [points to bubbles and several more distinguished raccoons]
Molly:…Part of me always knew this is how I would go out.
Diane: In a wine fire surrounded by raccoons?
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April: Hm. Jo, am I going too far?
Jo: No, no, you went too far about seven hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.
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Mal: Any good responses to being stabbed with a knife?
Jo: Rude.
April: fair enough.
Ripley: Not again!
Molly: Are you gonna want this back?
Jen: There is something deeply wrong with all of you.
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Hes: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Wren: I zoned out for about two and a half hours.
Emily: I got distracted halfway through.
Diane: Oh, I was actively not listening.
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Ripley: Am I in trouble?
Jen: Take a guess.
Ripley: No?
Jen: Take another guess.
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Stuck in a cave
Barney trying their best to lighten the mood: If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!
Silence
Diane: damn, yall depressed as fuck.
Wren: you didn’t clap either-
Diane: SHUT UP!
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Ripley: Okay, looking good. Okay, ciders cidering, turkey’s turking, yams are yamming … What?
Molly: I don’t know. It’s just not really the same without Jen in the kitchen.
Ripley: All right, that’s it. Just get out of the way and please try not to annoy me.
Molly: That's a bit closer.
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April: Thanks for not saying ‘I told you so.’
Jo: When you’re as right as I am, you don't have to.
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Molly: So…Mal kissed me.
April: And you kissed her back?
Molly: No, I kissed her mouth?
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Mal: What was the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
Jen, deadpan: That nap time was a punishment.
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April: Hey, anyone who can teach me how to play the trumpet?
Mal: Why.
April: I wanna walk around playing it to annoy Jo.
Ripley, popping in from nowhere: Technically you don't need to know how to play the trumpet for that.
April: Rip, you have opened my eyes.
Mal, sighing deeply: I hate it here.
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April: I can’t tell if you’re actually a genius or just really arrogant.
Diane: Well, on a good day, I’m both.
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Diane: Here is my wall of inspirational people.
Barney: Are those just pictures of you?
Diane: Yes, I’m a big enough person to admit that I often inspire myself.
April: that’d be such a motivational thing to hear, coming from anyone but you.
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Ripley: You can answer just about anything with ‘Not since the accident.’
Mal: same with ‘Pops used to tell me that.’
Jen: ‘The stars aren’t in position’ is a good way to say no to something
Jo: ‘For science.’ is always an acceptable excuse.
April: ‘Because of reasons’ is valid no matter what you’re doing.
Molly: You can convince someone to do or not to do anything with ‘but think of the children.’
Ripley: I need to write this down!
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Mal: For now on we are using code names.
Mal: You may address me as an eagle one.
Mal: Jo is ‘been there done that’
Mal: Ripley is ‘currently doing that’
Mal: April is ‘it happened once in a dream’
Mal: Jen is ‘never in a million years’
Mal: And Molly is…
Mal:Eagle two
Molly: Oh thank gods.
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Molly: Gosh, I hope I can finish these badge worksheets in time.
Jo, spinning around on her chair: I already finished mine.
Mal: We had badge worksheets?!
Ripley, shoving the papers in her mouth: Not if I can help it.
April: Haha, very funny. Yeah we’re gonna go fight the horrors now actually.
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Jo: Hey, Molly– why are you laying on the floor?
Molly: I have depression.
Jo: ah.
Molly: Also I’ve been stabbed four times.
Jo: Molly, what the fu-
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Jen: Alright girls, imagine you’re handed a box full of everything you’ve lost throughout your life.
Mal: Wow, my childhood innocence!
Molly: And my will to live? It's been so long!
Jo: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
April: Would you look at that, my hopes and dreams finally reunited!
Jen: lighten up kids.
Ripley: My skittles!
Jen: Thank you, Ripley.
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Jen: What scares you most?
Ripley: Horror movie monsters!
Mal: The ocean.
April: Spiders.
Jo: The unstopping marching of time that is slowly guiding all of us to our inevitable death.
Molly: Jo– wait actually, same!
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Jen: Let me get this straight-
April: more like, let me run this bi you.
Mal: lesbi honest here.
Jo: Let's translate our opinions into digestible terms for each other.
Ripley: Let’s be perfectly queer.
Diane poofing into the room: Let ace-ess the situation.
Molly:...I’m gay.
Mal:Thank you for the contribution, Mols.
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Jen: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Mal [whispering]: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Ripley [whispering back]: Because I have little hands.
Mal: Because she has little hands.
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Ripley: Why am I not a banana?
Jo: Because your genetic code dictates that you are human, however it should please you to know that you share 50-60% of your DNA with a banana.
Ripley: Jo, are you telling me there are some people 10% more banana than others?
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Ripley: Do you guys think I could fit twenty marshmallows in my mouth?
Mal: You are a hazard to society.
April: and a coward, do thirty.
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April, doing a vlog: hey guys, today me and my friend are going to be doing a testing of different hair products.
Ripley, spaying hairspray in her mouth: Right off the bat I can tell this one is not very good.
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Molly: How do I make a date more romantic?
Jo: Idk, maybe try being mysterious.
(The foretold date)
Mal: Where are we going
Molly: None of your fucking business.
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Bear woman: I have found the person who will carry out my legacy.
Abigail, holding Molly like a cat: This is a child, Nellie.
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Ripley: I made a little marshmallow Jen!
Ripley: See, look her arms are crossed ‘cause she’s mad at all the marshmallow lumberjanes for going on crazy adventures without telling her.
Ripley: Do ya like it?
Jen, tearing up: it's fine.
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Jen: I’m fed up with you people!
April: You say ‘you people’ like you aren’t also a part of this family.
Mal: News flash!
Ripley: You’re already on the christmas card.
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Mal: Do you have any idea where we are going?
April: Why start now?
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Molly: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.