Chapter Text
There were several unwritten rules in the glade.
Not the ones greenies were always briefed about upon arrival, of course. Those were already a given from the beginning. And, at a most part, they weren’t followed particularly well, especially since the latest greenie.
No, these were the more quietly understood rules, the ones that didn’t need mentioning to be acknowledged. And Newt had always followed the rules in the glade very closely, so of course he freaked out when he realised he’d broken every single one.
The first was, clearly, to not hide secrets from the others. It made obvious sense; if it was something big, everyone would have to discuss it together instead of letting it stay hidden. Newt didn’t mean to break that rule; he didn’t even notice he had until Minho pointed out how he seemed to be more agitated and reserved than usual. But it didn’t matter– he’d broken it and was left to live in guilt for that.
The second was to never treat anyone unfairly. Since he was second-in-command, it mattered more to him than anyone else. And he tried to, he really did, but somehow after meeting the new greenie, a few days after telling him that it took years for someone to qualify as a runner, he’d promoted the boy to be a runner. No matter how he tried to convince himself it was simply because the greenie was better than average, a part of him knew it was since he had gotten a little emotionally attached to him.
And the third… The third was to never, ever fall in love with any other glader. And Newt had broken that rule ever since he laid his eyes on Tommy.
He couldn’t help it – there was just something about the spark in those beautiful, brown irises that made his chest and face alike grow warm. Thomas was brave and selfless in a way Newt couldn’t compare to. No matter the case, he always seemed to be both stupid and courageous, which only made Newt love him and hate himself for loving him more.
But he told himself to ignore it. He promised himself that it was just a crush and it would pass just as quickly as it came.
But apparently, it did not.
It’d been weeks since Thomas first became a runner and Newt still couldn’t stop staring at him.
His crush hadn’t subsided at all. In fact, it seemed that the more time went by, the deeper Newt dug his grave. They’d stopped being just buddies and genuinely became closer than most of the other boys in the glade. Some days, Thomas would join him in the field after returning from the maze and they’d spend far too much time pulling weeds and planting seeds. Newt never found it particularly strange how Thomas always trailed after him whenever he had a day off – he just brushed it off and told himself it was due to how close their friendship had gotten.
At night, they’d always make sure their sleeping bags were right next to each other and would usually stay up way too late talking about random things like what they thought their parents were like and where they came from. Thomas always joked that Newt probably had a little sister who was ‘far more mature than him’. And Newt would smile in the darkness and forget how to get it off his face.
But honestly, most days the crush was an absolutely horrible burden.
Thomas was barely in the glade anymore, and Newt’s paranoid mind always led him to think that somehow he and Minho were always secretly making out in the maze. He knew it was illogical, but some days Thomas would come back flustered and Minho would be aiming a smirk in Newt’s direction. And whenever Newt dared to ask Thomas what they spoke about, Thomas would get red in the face and mumble something like, ‘it’s nothing, really,’ and run away.
What else could they be doing but making out…?
Other gladers noticed him acting strange as well. Alby had almost forced him to take a day off because he was ‘staring into a distance as though he was about to have a mental breakdown’. To be fair, Newt did feel like he was about to have one – he genuinely found it impossible to think straight whenever Thomas walked past him.
If the stakes hadn’t been so high, just maybe Newt would’ve confessed. But he had to stick to the rules – he was the second-in-command, after all, and a crush could quite literally ruin the entire glade. Another, even bigger stake would be losing Tommy as a friend. Honestly, the thought destroyed him. Thomas meant everything to him, to the point where he would gladly settle down to never start a relationship so long as they could stay as friends for life. He couldn’t enunciate how lucky he felt to simply be friends with the boy.
And then there was that part of him that was just… frustrated and increasingly impatient. He wanted to know whether Tommy liked him back, but he didn’t want to tell him.
It made him spiral even more.
Eventually and quite inevitably, everyone started catching on. Not on his feelings, exactly, but they all knew something was wrong.
Frypan would raise an eyebrow every time he returned a half-full plate of food; he couldn’t eat much since his stomach was almost full of butterflies. Minho always smirked in his direction like he knew something he shouldn’t, and would pointedly shove Thomas into his arms, which earned him a red blush from both of them. Alby noticed and wouldn’t stop questioning Newt about what was wrong. Even Chuck did, and would sometimes walk by and drop a comment like, “are you sick? Why’ve you been acting so klunky?”
Well, Newt was sick, apparently. If lovesickness counted.
The only person who didn’t seem to notice was Thomas.
And that was absolutely infuriating.
They continued to spend every night lying together and staring at the night sky. It grew progressively nerve-wracking. Every alarm bell in Newt would ring whenever they spoke, because he was terrorised by the fact that he liked Thomas. Their interactions only reminded him that he liked Tommy and that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t snap out of it.
Eventually, Newt realised he couldn’t deny it anymore.
But could he really admit it? Tommy was his best friend, after all, and confessing would either mean losing him or gaining something more. He wasn’t sure if it was worth the gamble, especially since either way he would end up breaking the stupid rules.
And his stupid heart.