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It felt like the universe had it out for Jay.
He’d actually started the day on a high note, that was the worst part of it all- up before his alarm, breakfast that wasn’t just a granola bar, even remembered his bag for once. For a second, he thought, "Maybe I’m finally getting my shit together."
And then he tripped going down the stairs on campus.
No one even bothered to check on him. They walked around him like he was just an obstacle in their path. Like he wasn't there. Pain had bloomed in his hands and knees, but Jay had to ignore that as he scrambled to pick his books up and check that his laptop in his bag was still okay.
Then he realized his phone was missing. He tore through his backpack, retraced his steps across campus, missed class, panic climbing with every step. He couldn't lose that thing! He could barely remember his own phone number! If he'd lost that, he'd have to regather the lost ones from his old contacts. Sure, there weren't that many, but Jay didn't want to lose his phone!
Finally, desperate, he checked his car. He could have swore that he had it earlier too! There was no way that he had left it out there...And yet, there it was, sitting smugly on the driver’s seat like it belonged there. Jay wanted to cry.
He went to eat lunch after that, tired and hungry from running around like a chicken without it's head. He knew they were having some kind of pasta in the on-campus cafeteria. He always double and triple checked what was going to be served the day before, that way he knew he could just eat there. When he'd gotten in the already too loud room. It wasn't the food he was expecting. Jay couldn't even remember what was being served, but it wasn't what he thought it was going to be! Nothing sounded edible, all the wrong tastes and textures, and he hadn't packed a lunch.
So, he made himself eat a bag of chips with a soda from the vending machine. They both tasted bad.
The last straw wasn't even anything bad. It was nothing. He had to go to Alex's apartment to help him work on that script for their shared film class; and the one parking spot that he liked- right by the stairs to Alex's apartment wasn't even taken. It was wide open and the person next to it had parked just crooked enough to make it impossible for him to park there. It sat there, mocking him.
Jay stared at it, and his head slumped forward until it collided with the steering wheel with a dull thud. He whined and tugged at his hair, pulling hard enough to sting even as he let go. His head was fuzzy and tears brimmed his eyes, but he needed to park still.
He drove to the next spot he could pull into, parking there and stumbling from his car. His bag was in hand, but he didn't even try to lift it from dragging the ground as he walked, biting on his lip hard to try and stop his tears.
Alex was gonna wonder what was wrong and then he was gonna think Jay was being a baby, but he wasn't being a baby! He was sad!
Jay sniffed and hiccupped as he trudged up the stairs, rubbing at his eyes and then knocking a little too hard when he got to Alex's door. This only served to make him wince at the noise, bringing a fresh wave of tears that he was rubbing at roughly.
Footsteps approached from behind the door and Jay whimpered as the door pulled open, his friend on the other side.
"Finally. I was about to tell you to not come if you were gonna be this late- Jay?" Alex's voice went from annoyed to confused, but the tone initially was enough to just make Jay cry harder. Now Alex was mad at him! He didn't even do anything!
Alex frowned at the sight of Jay and hesitated before reaching out and taking him by the wrist, guiding him inside.
"Hey, it's okay. What happened? Are you hurt?" Alex was trying to wrack his brain for anything that would be causing such an intense reaction from the normally quiet man.
"I..I..I.." Jay whimpered, shaking his head as he couldn't get the words out. Alex got the door closed, easing the bag from Jay's death grip and putting it against the wall.
"You're alright. Here, come sit down, you're gonna make yourself sick, Jay." Alex said as he pulled Jay to the couch, sitting him down. He had never seen Jay cry, and he certainly hadn't seen him so...distraught.
"You gotta breathe, okay Jay? Nice deep breaths...in and out, just like this" Alex demonstrated-slow inhale, slow exhale-but Jay’s lungs wouldn’t cooperate. Everything inside him felt too tight, too full. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold himself together. His brain was full of cotton and he was too small and everything was bad.
"I..I can't..I..I can't- don't be mad, please don't be mad" Jay choked on the words and he expected many things. Maybe for Alex to get frustrated at him; tell him that he was being overdramatic. Maybe, even, for him to give up on the lost cause of trying to ease his emotions...
What Jay hadn't expected was for hands to reach out, wrapping around his wrists and pulling him in close until he was pressed into Alex's side. His face pressed into Alex's shirt, his first sniffled breaths in bringing with them the smell of his detergent and some sort of cologne. It smelled nice.
"I'm not mad- I'm not mad, Jay I promise. You gotta try and calm down. No one's mad. Everything's okay. Just breathe..." Alex said as he moved with the rocking motion Jay had started to fall into from his panicking.
"There we go...keep breathing like that...in and out...just like that..." Alex murmured, and Jay didn't know he had such a nice voice like that. Normally Alex was being a jack ass or frust..tra...frustrat...he got mad at Jay a lot.
Alex wasn't even a bad guy, really. He was just really passionate about this project. It wasn't even started yet, but Jay had been trying to help out so they could jump right into it when their classes let out for the summer...and Alex was already stressing over it; that stress got taken out on Jay since they hung out a lot to work on it.
"...B...d...ay...." Jay mumbled into Alex's shoulder and the taller man perked a bit.
"What?" He asked and Jay lifted his head.
"H..Had..a bad day..." He mumbled, Alex taking this in and then nodding a bit. Jay didn't sound like he normally did. His voice was too soft, almost pitched up a bit. Not much, but just enough to notice. It was...almost childlike. Maybe. That sounded weird because Jay wasn't a kid. He was nearly 20 now.
"Bad day? Yeah? Wanna tell me about it?" Alex asked, still rocking with him as he spoke, rubbing Jay's back gently.
So Jay tried, voice small and shaky, stumbling through the day’s disasters. Sometimes he lost his place, or started to cry again, and Alex would squeeze his shoulder and remind him to breathe.
There really was no other way to take it. Alex had little cousins, he'd heard them trying to talk their way through something after being upset and Jay's mannerism's matched that one to one. What did that mean? Alex didn't know, but Jay was his friend, so that didn't matter.
"That does sound like a rough day." Alex said, adjusting his own tone, softening it and almost cooing. In any other situation, it'd be like he was mocking him. Jay seemed to think this as he stiffened and sniffled.
"I..I'm not a baby..d..don' talk to me like 'm a baby..." Jay mumbled and Alex almost did laugh at how Jay was pouting. He huffed, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"You're not a baby, but you're having a bunch of big feelings, huh? You did really good, y'know? You made it way longer than I would have if I had a bad day like that" He soothed, his hand moving from Jay's back and up to his head, petting through his hair.
"You want something to eat? You didn't get to, so I bet you're really hungry, huh?" Alex coaxed and Jay slowly started to relax, nodding a bit.
"Y..Yeah..." He mumbled and Alex gave him a little pet.
"Atta boy. C'mon. Let's see what we got in my kitchen." Alex took him by the hand this time and he led him from the couch to his little kitchen.
"How does..." Alex trailed off as he was looking through his fridge "left over pizza sound?" He asked and Jay made a face.
"Jay, c'mon bud. You like pizza" Alex mused and Jay whined.
"Don' taste good when you reheat it..." He pouted and Alex tutted.
"Maybe you just don't know how to reheat pizza. How about we give it a try, okay? And if you really don't like it, you don't have to eat it. Can we do that?" Alex offered and Jay mulled it over before he sighed.
"Okayy...fine..." Jay whined and Alex grinned, giving his hand a squeeze.
"Good boy. Here go sit down and I'll heat you up a slice. Want ranch with it?" Alex asked, paying no mind to how Jay's face started to flush red from the praise. Alex hadn't even meant to say it, but it had slipped out and calling attention to it would be more weird.
"...Yes please..." Jay mumbled and let Alex's hand go so he could get him a slice on a plate. He moved to sit at the little counter divider between the kitchen and the living room, watching Alex get a slice of pizza.
Jay made a face as he turned on the water in the sink, watching Alex just barely wet both sides of the slice, shaking the excess off. Alex glanced over as he popped it in the microwave.
"Don't make faces. And don't chew, Jay." Alex said pointedly, and Jay jolted as he noticed his knuckle was between his teeth. He pulled the finger away and flushed as he looked down, fidgeting with the sleeve of his hoodie now.
"Pro'lly gonna be all...gross 'n soggy..." Jay mumbled under his breath, but he kept his hands from his mouth now.
"Thank you" Alex mused anyways, letting them sit in silence until the microwave kicked off. Once it did, Alex got the plate and then got into the fridge to get some ranch to pour next to the slice.
It was just a pepperoni and sausage he'd gotten the other night on his way home from work, nothing special, but Jay was staring at it like a hungry dog.
"Careful, it's hot." Alex hummed as he placed it in front of him. The water, to Jay's surprise, had not made the slice soggy, but a lot closer to how it would have been when it was fresh. The crust was still a little tough, but the rest was perfect as Alex had to remind him to chew as he inhaled it.
"Better? Want some more?" Alex laughed as Jay nodded quickly.
"Please?" He said, so polite that Alex couldn't resist tousling the shorter man's hair.
"Alright." Alex mused as he moved to heat another. However, he paused as he did, looking over at Jay. Jay was sat there on the stool, legs dangling as he kicked them lightly, fingers picking at a loose string on his sleeve. He looked...smaller almost. Not physically, but...
“If you ever have another day like this, where you get all...upset...you can call me, you know,” Alex said quietly then. “I’ll come over, or you come here. I’ll make sure you’re okay.” He offered as he heated up another slice, Jay ducking his head a bit. Alex could tell he was a bit embarrassed, and he smiled a bit.
"I'm serious. It's okay, I'm your friend. I'd much rather make sure you're okay than worry about you all day because I didn't. Offer's there, if you want it." Alex hummed. Jay didn't say anything at first, but as he sat there, he finally nodded as the microwave beeped again.
"Okay... Thanks Alex." He mumbled.
Alex chuckled and slid the plate over to him, giving Jay a soft smile. “You’re welcome.”