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Fairy lights were strung up across the canopy above them, the curtains swaying with the breeze, a warm light flickering across the guest underneath it.
Emily hovered near the edge, arms crossed over her chest, a champagne flute in her hand as she watched Tara and Rebecca near the end of their first dance as new wives.
The ceremony had been beautiful, and the reception was no different. Moments like this were few and far between in this team, but so much more powerful because of it. It wasn’t every day they got to celebrate at all, much less something as beautiful as marrying the love of your life.
The music was low and soulful, something jazzy that exuded nothing but romance. Tara grinned down at Rebecca like she was the only person in the world who existed.
Emily longed for that, to have that person she could go to for anything, anytime, but she shook that thought away, choosing to focus on Tara instead.
Emily wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Tara smile like that, so soft and unguarded, completely happy.
Emily smiled to herself, feeling a warmth in her chest. She wasn’t sure anyone on this team was capable of smiling that brightly, after everything they’d been through and seen. But there she was, eyes crinkled at the corners, head tilted down, dancing with the woman she loved like nothing in the world could touch them.
They looked so damn elated.
“Alright!” Tara’s voice called out, jarring Emily from her thoughts, bright and playful. “Everybody off your butts! Don’t make us dance alone!”
Laughter shook through the tables nearby. Garcia cheered before grabbing Luke’s hand, tugging him to the floor in a blur of color and velvet. Even Rossi stood with a theatrical sigh and offered his hand to an older woman Emily recognized as Rebecca’s aunt.
He kissed her hand with flair before leading her to the dance floor.
Emily rolled her eyes affectionately at the display, lips quirking up as she crossed the room, finding herself next to JJ who still sat at her table. “Jesus,” she muttered under her breath, amused. “Rossi’s really leaning into the silver fox bit tonight.”
Next to her, JJ let out a soft laugh, but it didn’t quite land. Emily’s eyes slid to her. JJ’s hands were clasped tightly in her lap, knuckles pale from the strain. Her smile was there, but stretched.
Emily’s brow furrowed. “You okay?”
JJ nodded quickly, almost too quickly. “Yeah. Just… thinking.” She stared out toward the floor where the others had already started swaying along to the music. Garcia was already spinning in dizzying circles, Luke laughing helplessly as he tried to keep up. Tara dipped Rebecca, dramatic and smooth, both of them grinning like they were sharing the punchline to some inside joke.
“They look so happy,” Emily said after a pause, out loud this time.
JJ’s smile brightened a hair. She nodded, exhaling through her nose. “They really do. They deserve it.”
Emily suddenly wanted to reach out and touch her, her fingers itching to land on JJ’s shoulder, her wrist, something. But she didn’t. It still felt like a line was drawn there. Emily wasn’t sure who had drawn it initially, maybe both of them.
What she was sure of however, was that she wasn’t going to be the one to cross it, badly as she might want to.
JJ stood suddenly, and Emily almost jumped when she did. She’d gotten so distracted watching their team dance, lost in her own head. JJ very well could have been talking to her and Emily wouldn’t have even noticed.
JJ smoothed the fabric of her dress out, standing in front of Emily’s chair. Emily’s eyes roamed up her body on the path to her face, caught off guard and unable to help herself.
JJ looked down at her with a hint of a smirk, hand outstretched, and an eyebrow lifted. “Come on,” she said, her voice light and playful. “Dance with me.”
“Me?” Emily’s eyes widened comically, so much so that JJ actually laughed.
“I’m certainly not getting in the middle of whatever Luke and Penelope have going on,” She teased, wiggling her fingers. “Come on, don’t make me dance alone.”
Emily felt heat flood her cheeks before she could stop it. Her fingers tightened around her champagne glass, but she sat it aside.
Without allowing herself to think too much about it, she took JJ’s hand, letting herself be pulled up. Her hand fit a little too perfectly in the curve of JJ’s fingers, and for once, Emily let herself enjoy the feeling.
The music shifted as they stepped into the glow of the overhead lights. It was still slow, still something sultry and smooth, but a little deeper now, a little fuller. The kind of song meant for swaying close to your partner.
JJ’s hand didn’t let go of hers until they reached a spot near the edge of the crowd. Then she turned, looping her arms around Emily’s shoulders like it was nothing. Like it hadn’t been months, years, really, of space between them, of Emily standing just close enough to want her but just far enough to be able to pretend that she didn’t.
Emily hesitated, hands hovering in the air for a beat too long. She didn’t want to hold JJ too tightly. She didn’t want to assume. Grief clung to JJ like a second skin sometimes, invisible to everyone else but impossible for Emily not to notice. She wasn’t going to add weight to that.
But JJ just looked at her, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Not quite reassuring, not quite teasing. Just… JJ.
So Emily let her hands settle gently at JJ’s waist. Carefully. Lightly. Giving JJ every chance to move them somewhere else, but she didn’t.
They moved together slowly, finding a rhythm. Around them, their team danced and laughed, shadows in the warm haze of lights. Garcia’s head tipped back in a loud, delighted cackle as Luke twirled her. Rossi spun Rebecca’s aunt like he was auditioning for Dancing with the Stars.
But Emily barely noticed.
Her eyes dropped from JJ’s eyes to her dress - midnight blue, silk maybe, cut cleanly along her shoulders, leaving her collarbones bare and pale in the soft, dim lighting. The neckline was modest, but Emily’s eyes caught on it anyway, only realizing what she was doing when JJ’s voice broke softly through the air between them.
JJ’s fingers glided over the lapels of Emily’s suit jacket, her touch light but deliberate. She hummed slightly in the back of her throat, the corner of her mouth tugging up.
“This was a bold choice,” she said, giving the lapel a small tug before looping her arm back around Emily’s neck.
Her voice wasn’t teasing exactly, but there was something knowing in it, fond and familiar.
Emily glanced down at herself, suddenly uncertain. The suit had felt like a safe choice earlier, structured, sleek, and professional, but now, under JJ’s gaze, it felt… too sharp. Too stiff. She shifted her weight slightly, painting on a strained smile.
JJ must’ve noticed the expression of doubt, because she added, softer this time, “You look great, Emily.”
Emily’s throat tightened. Her fingers twitched at JJ’s waist. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. Tried once more.
“You -” she started, and immediately lost her thoughts.
JJ tilted her head, a smile ghosting across her lips.
Emily cleared her throat. “You’re beautiful,” she said finally, voice soft, the words escaping before she could stop them. Her eyes dropped quickly to JJ’s collarbone, then back to her eyes. “Your dress I mean, it…”
She shook her head, well and fully flustered now, lips pressed tight before a quiet, self-deprecating laugh slipped out.
“You look great, too,” she amended, breathless. “Not as bold of a choice as mine, though.”
JJ let out a small hum of agreement, but there was warmth in it. Her arms tightened slightly around Emily’s shoulders.
“I can agree there,” she said, voice low. Her smile lingered, but this time, so did her eyes. “And Emily? You look beautiful too.”
Emily sucked in a sharp breath, JJ’s open admission hitting her hard. She swallowed through a lump in her throat, somehow noticing the song around them changing. She let out a sigh of relief when she realized it was another slow one, not wanting to let go of this moment yet.
She didn’t recognize the tune, but JJ seemed to enjoy it. A soft smile found its way to her face, and without warning, she shifted closer to Emily, their bodies pressed together as her head dropped to Emily’s shoulder.
Emily held her breath. Her heart pounded so hard against her ribs that she was sure JJ could feel it.
JJ’s weight against her chest was gentle but somehow heavy. There was no hesitation, no second-guessing in the way she leaned in, just resting against Emily and trusting Emily to hold her up. The heat of her cheek was noticeable through the fabric of Emily’s jacket, even if Emily knew that probably was just a trick of her mind. Still, her breath tickled the side of Emily’s neck.
Emily’s hands moved instinctively, sliding further around JJ’s waist until her arms wrapped all the way around her, her grip tightening almost protectively as she held JJ close.
The world narrowed around them, her entire focus on the woman in her arms right this second.
She could hear the low rumble of laughter from the rest of the team moving around them. Tara’s voice rose, then dipped again. Glasses clinking together. Garcia’s bright, bubbly laugh bursting in the background.
But it all sounded distant. Muffled.
Here, in this moment, it was just them. Just Emily and JJ.
JJ didn’t speak. She didn’t have to. Emily could feel everything she wasn’t saying in the way her fingers curled loosely into the fabric behind Emily’s neck. In the way her body molded against hers. Like she’d been holding herself tense all evening and had finally found somewhere to rest.
Emily’s throat tightened as her arms did, her fingers stroking at the small of JJ’s back.
She’d spent so long holding back around JJ. Not just in the past few months, not just since the funeral, not just since all that heartbreak she hadn’t been able to take away no matter how hard she tried. But years. Always toeing the line, never actually crossing it. Glancing a moment too long even though she knew she shouldn’t, brushing her hand along JJ’s skin just enough to get a taste of it, that fucking nightmare where she couldn’t save JJ, where JJ happened to be in the most revealing outfit Emily’s mind could have conjured up.
Emily squeezed her eyes shut as she let herself be present, accepting this moment for what it was. Just that. A moment.
That invisible line had been so clear in Emily’s mind for so long, but right here, right now, with JJ’s head on her shoulder and Emily’s arms wrapped securely around her waist, that line was starting to blur.
The song playing was starting to come to a close, and Emily felt JJ sink even further into her arms.
“You okay?” Emily asked, hardly recognizing the sound of her own voice.
JJ cleared her throat, but didn’t speak for a few more seconds. Finally, she nodded against Emily’s shoulder, not lifting her head.
“I am,” She said, slowly. “Right now, yeah.”
Emily took in a slow breath through her nose, squeezing JJ’s waist tighter.
Because, for the first time in her life, she let herself really believe it.
Believe that maybe this wasn’t so one sided. Maybe JJ wanted to be here, not just with someone on the dance floor, but with Emily.
Maybe this moment, slow, quiet, and impossibly loaded, was the beginning of something they’d both spent far too long pretending not to want.