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Ryan graduates from business school on a Tuesday, and on Wednesday he gets hired permanently at Dunder Mifflin.
"I knew you couldn't leave us, buddy. Now you're really a part of the DM family." Michael slaps him on the back, lets his hand linger there a little too long. "Before you were like the roommate" – he makes air-quotes – "of the uncle who only showed up at family reunions. No one knew how long it was going to last, if the roommate was going to stick around. But now it's like they legalized same-sex marriage and you're here to stay!" He smiles brightly, throws an arm around Ryan's shoulders and squeezes hard.
Michael still talks like the cameras are pointed at him, even though they left over a year ago. Ryan misses them sometimes, not the invasion of privacy or the awkward moments caught on tape, but the one-on-one interviews where he got to say whatever he felt like. He always thought he'd be gone by the time the documentary aired, but sometimes life doesn't work out like that.
(There was a big thing when everyone saw what everyone else had to say, but after about a week, it all got shoved under the linoleum. People went back to being normal – talking about paper, drinking stale coffee, resenting each other only silently.)
When Michael asks why he decided to accept the permanent position – he's fishing for a compliment, he wants to hear that he's a great boss to work for – Ryan just shrugs and says to the lamp on Michael's desk, "They say that 70% of small businesses fail in the first year. Working here will be good experience before I start something of my own." He used the same words when he explained his decision to his parents last night. They sound even hollower the second time around.
Ryan signs the final paperwork. Michael sends him to Toby, who spots him from across the room and follows his approach with panicked eyes. When Ryan finally gets to him, Toby grabs his arm with both hands, drags his face close to his, and says, "Get out while you still can."
--
They go to lunch the next day to the only sushi place in Scranton, which is at the food court at the mall. Toby offers to buy and Ryan lets him because whenever he's around Toby, he feels like a kid. Toby is an adult, with an ex-wife and a kid and a mortgage.
"I want to apologize for yesterday. I never should have..." Toby looks down absently at his tiny tray of wasabi.
"No, it's all right," Ryan says to fill the silence. He starts to explain, "They say that 70% of small businesses fail..." but trails off because he doesn't care enough to finish. Toby doesn't seem to notice.
They don't say much after that, which is fine because neither of them really likes to talk much. Toby asks if Ryan is going to go to Jim and Pam's wedding, and he says that yeah, he is, he's even found a date. A girl he used to go to high school with, who was once a cheerleader and way out of Ryan's league, but is now just a cashier at Duane Reade. Death is not the great equalizer, Ryan thinks. Life is.
"It's almost one o'clock," Toby says when he checks his watch, so they stand up from the counter together. Ryan gets the California rolls Michael asked him to bring back and replaces the chopsticks in the bag with a plastic fork. He doesn't even want to imagine what Michael would be like with chopsticks; better safe than sorry.
When Ryan looks up from the plastic bag, Toby is smirking at him and Ryan can't help it; he smiles back.
--
Sometimes Ryan catches himself looking at Toby, at his tired eyes, at his slow walk. He wonders if Toby is really that sad or if he just looks that way. His life isn't so bad, Ryan thinks, no matter what Michael says. A steady job, a kid. It's more than Ryan has.
(In his more honest moments Ryan has to admit, if only to himself, that the reason he's not starting his own business is because he doesn't know what kind of a business he wants. The curse of the MTV generation, he thinks. Nothing but choices and he can't bring himself to commit to a single one of them.)
Angela sends him a stern e-mail reminding him to fill out his expense reports by the end of the day. Ryan ignores it and watches the clock tick around and around.
Five o'clock finally gets here and across the floor, Toby is gathering his things.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Toby says over his slumped shoulders as he passes Ryan's cubicle.
Ryan looks up from putting away his files.
"Yeah," he says. "See you tomorrow."
