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when the sun goes down

Summary:

"You know what I've learned about falling?"

 

She looked at him directly for the first time that night.

 

"Eventually, you hit something solid. And when you do, you realize you haven't disappeared at all. You're just somewhere new."

 

or

 

ava and bill moments before it all goes downhill

Notes:

happy thunderbolts digital release day!! yesterday i thought about marvel zombies and how ava was going to get turned (and what bill would do) and got extremely sad about it so now i'm writing this to cope lol

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The house felt too big.



Ava pressed herself against the doorframe of what Dr. Foster called "her room," clutching the white teddy bear tight to her chest. Benny's fur was already matted from her grip, but she couldn't let go. Everything here was too clean, too quiet, too normal. The bed had sheets that matched. The walls didn't have water stains. There were no sounds of other children crying through thin walls.



"Ava?" Dr. Foster's voice drifted up from downstairs. "Breakfast is ready."



She didn't move. In the orphanage, you had to fight for food. You had to be loud, aggressive, willing to push and shove and grab. But here, Dr. Foster just made food. Put it on plates. Expected her to come down and eat it like it was normal.



Her stomach cramped, empty and angry, but she stayed frozen in the doorway.



"Take your time," came his voice again, gentler now. "I'll keep it warm."



The kindness in his tone made something twist uncomfortably in her chest. She buried her face in Benny's fur and breathed in the new-toy smell that still clung to him despite days of constant contact.



Footsteps on the stairs made her tense, but Dr. Foster didn't come to her room. Instead, she heard him pause at the top of the landing.



"You know," he said conversationally, as if talking to himself, "I used to have trouble eating breakfast too. When I was about your age. My mother would make these enormous pancakes, and I'd just stare at them like they were going to bite me back."



Ava peered around the doorframe. Dr. Foster sat on the top step, a plate balanced on his knees. Steam rose from what looked like scrambled eggs.



"The thing about breakfast," he continued, taking a deliberate bite, "is that it's just fuel. Like putting gas in a car. Your body needs it to work properly." He chewed thoughtfully. "And your body's working pretty hard right now, isn't it? All that phasing... that takes energy."



She knew he was right. She'd learned enough in her short life to understand cause and effect. No food meant weakness. Weakness meant losing control. Losing control meant...



Her hand flickered translucent for a moment before solidifying again.



Dr. Foster pretended not to notice. "I'll just leave this here," he said, setting the plate on the floor near the top of the stairs. "In case you change your mind."



He disappeared back downstairs, leaving her alone with the smell of warm food and the crushing weight of a kindness she didn't understand.







The mug slipped through her fingers like water.



Ava watched in horror as it fell, seeming to move in slow motion before shattering against the kitchen tiles with a sound like breaking thunder. Ceramic scattered in white shards across the floor, and the milk she'd been trying to drink spread in a pale puddle.



This was it. This was when Dr. Foster would realize she was too much trouble, too broken, too—



"Hey, it's okay." His voice came from behind her, calm and steady. "Accidents happen."



But this wasn't an accident. This was what she was. A walking disaster who couldn't even hold a simple mug without her freakish condition ruining everything.



She backed away from the mess, shaking her head rapidly. The foster families before had made it clear what happened when she broke things. When she was more trouble than she was worth.



"Ava, look at me." Dr. Foster crouched down to her level, careful not to step on the ceramic. "It's just a mug. I have twelve more just like it."



She couldn't look at him. Couldn't bear to see the disappointment that would be there, the calculation of whether keeping her was worth the hassle. Instead, she bolted.



Her feet carried her up the stairs and into her room, where she crawled under the bed and pulled Benny tight against her chest. The space was small and dark, cramped like the closets she used to hide in at the orphanage. Safe.



"Ava?" Dr. Foster's voice came from the doorway some time later. She could see his feet, the cuffs of his pants. He didn't come in. "I cleaned up the mess. No harm done."



She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to make herself smaller.



"You know," he said, settling into what sounded like the chair by her desk, "when I was in graduate school, I broke an entire rack of test tubes. Two hundred dollars worth of equipment, gone in about three seconds. My advisor was not pleased."



Ava cracked one eye open. Through the gap between the bed and the floor, she could see he'd sat down, making himself comfortable like he planned to stay.



"The thing was, I broke them because I was excited. I'd just figured out a solution to a problem I'd been working on for months, and I jumped up too fast and knocked the whole thing over." He chuckled softly. "Dr. Stevens made me clean it up, but you know what he said afterward?"



She didn't respond, but something in his tone made her listen.



"He said, 'Foster, the day you stop breaking things is the day you stop pushing boundaries.' And then he bought me coffee and asked me to explain my breakthrough."



The room fell quiet except for the sound of her own breathing.



"What I'm trying to say is breaking things doesn't make you bad, Ava. It makes you human. And humans who are learning to control something as complex as what you're dealing with? They're going to break a few mugs along the way."



She heard him shift in the chair, the creak of old wood.



"I'm not going anywhere," he said quietly. "You don't have to hide from me."



But she stayed under the bed until long after his footsteps retreated, holding Benny and trying to believe him.







The nightmare woke her at 2:17 AM.



Ava lay in the darkness, heart hammering, the taste of fear metallic in her mouth. In the dream, she'd been phasing uncontrollably, falling through floor after floor until she disappeared entirely. But worse than the falling was the silence afterward, the complete absence of anyone calling her name.



Her bedroom door stood slightly ajar, a slice of hallway light cutting across the floor. Dr. Foster always left it that way, even though she'd never asked him to. Somehow he seemed to understand that complete darkness felt too much like being erased.



She clutched Benny tighter and tried to slow her breathing. The teddy bear's button eyes caught the dim light, reflecting it back like tiny stars. Sometimes she pretended Benny could talk, that his stitched smile could open to offer comfort or advice. But tonight, even that small imagination felt too fragile to hold.



A soft sound from downstairs made her freeze. Footsteps, careful and deliberate. Then the quiet whistle of a kettle, the gentle clink of ceramic.



Dr. Foster was awake too.



Ava slipped out of bed, bare feet silent on the hardwood. She padded to the top of the stairs and peered down through the banister spindles. Light spilled from the kitchen, warm and golden. She could hear him moving around, the comfortable sounds of someone who belonged in this space.



The floorboard creaked under her weight, and the sounds below paused.



"Can't sleep either?" came his voice, not quite loud enough to be calling up to her, but clear enough that she'd hear if she was listening.



She hesitated at the top of the stairs. Going down meant admitting she was awake, was scared, was small and needy in ways that made her stomach churn with shame. But staying meant going back to her room, back to the darkness and the lingering taste of her nightmare.



Her feet made the decision for her, carrying her down step by careful step.



Dr. Foster stood at the kitchen counter, two mugs steaming beside the stove. He didn't turn around when she appeared in the doorway, didn't make a big deal of her presence. Just continued stirring something that smelled like chocolate and cinnamon.



"Hot chocolate," he said conversationally. "I find it helps when my brain won't quiet down."



Ava hovered in the doorway, Benny pressed against her side. The kitchen felt different at night, smaller and cozier. Less like a space she was borrowing and more like somewhere she might actually belong.



"Bad dream?" Dr. Foster asked, finally turning to look at her. He wore a faded MIT sweatshirt over pajama pants. He looked normal. Human. Not like the composed scientist who spoke at conferences and worked with important government people.



She nodded once, a tiny movement.



"Those are the worst," he said sympathetically. "Your brain trying to process things when you're not conscious enough to tell it to stop."



He held out one of the mugs, steam curling up from its surface. Ava looked at it for a long moment, remembering the shattered ceramic from weeks before. Her hands felt unreliable, her control tentative in the space between sleep and waking.



"Scared?" Dr. Foster asked gently.



Another nod.



"Of the dream, or the mug?"



She looked up at him, surprised by his understanding. "Mug," she whispered, the word barely a breath.



Without hesitation, he set both mugs on the table and pulled out two chairs. "Sit with me," he said. "We'll let them cool down first."



They sat in comfortable silence, the house settling around them with small creaks and sighs. Ava kept Benny in her lap, her fingers working through his soft fur. Dr. Foster stared out the window at the dark yard, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.



"You know what I think about when I can't sleep?" he said eventually.



She tilted her head slightly, not quite a question, but close.



"I think about all the things in the universe we don't understand yet. Dark matter, quantum entanglement, the way birds navigate during migration." He smiled, the expression soft in the dim light. "Makes my problems feel smaller, somehow. Reminds me that there's still mystery in the world, still things to discover."



Ava considered this. In the orphanage, mystery had meant bad things, social workers arriving unannounced, older kids planning pranks, caretakers in bad moods. But the way Dr. Foster said it made mystery sound hopeful.



"What do you think about?" he asked.



She was quiet for so long he probably thought she wouldn't answer. But then, so softly he had to lean forward to hear: "Falling."



"Through floors?"



"Yes." The words came easier now, still whispered but more solid. 



Dr. Foster nodded thoughtfully. "That does sound scary. But you know what I've learned about falling?"



She looked at him directly for the first time that night.



"Eventually, you hit something solid. And when you do, you realize you haven't disappeared at all. You're just somewhere new."



He reached for his mug, wrapping his hands around it like an anchor. "Want to try yours? I think it's cooled down enough."



Ava looked at her mug, then at her hands. They felt more solid now, more present. Carefully, she reached out and wrapped her fingers around the warm ceramic. It held.







"I'm hungry."



The words came out of nowhere, surprising them both. Ava looked up from her homework, a math worksheet Bill had found online, something to keep her mind occupied while he worked, and found him staring at her with undisguised delight.



"Well," he said, setting down his pen. "That's the longest sentence I've heard from you yet."



Heat crept up Ava's neck. She'd been talking more lately, but it still felt strange, like wearing clothes that didn't quite fit. "Sorry."



"Don't apologize," Bill said quickly. "I love hearing your voice. What are you hungry for?"



She considered this. At the orphanage, hungry meant whatever was available, usually something involving canned vegetables and mystery meat. But living with Bill had introduced her to the radical concept of food preferences.



"Grilled cheese?" she ventured.



"Excellent choice. With tomato soup?"



"Yes, please."



Bill headed for the kitchen, and after a moment's hesitation, Ava followed. She'd been doing that more often lately, not hiding away in her room when he cooked, but hovering nearby. Sometimes helping with small tasks, sometimes just watching.



Today, she climbed onto one of the bar stools and settled Benny on the counter beside her. The teddy bear had taken on a permanent lean from being carried everywhere, but his button eyes still held their steady comfort.



"Can I tell you something?" Bill asked as he pulled ingredients from the refrigerator.



Ava nodded, swinging her legs.



"The first week you were here, I was terrified I was going to mess this up."



This was news to her. Bill had seemed so calm, so sure of himself. "Really?"



"Really. I'd never taken care of a kid before. I kept thinking you'd be better off with a real family, people who actually knew what they were doing. You taught me how to be what you needed."



Ava absorbed this, watching him butter bread with careful, precise movements. "You were scared too."



"Terrified," he confirmed. "But you know what I realized?"



"What?"



"Being scared doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Sometimes it just means you care enough to want to do it right."



The grilled cheese sizzled as it hit the pan, filling the kitchen with the smell of browning butter and melting cheese. Ava found herself thinking about fear, how it had shaped so much of her short life, how it still lived in her chest like a small, sharp animal. But sitting here in Bill's kitchen, watching him cook for her, fear felt manageable. Present but not overwhelming.



"Bill?" she said as he ladled soup into bowls.



"Yeah?"



"I'm glad you were scared."



He paused, ladle halfway to the second bowl. "Why's that?"



"Because it means you wanted to keep me."



When he turned to look at her, his eyes were bright with something that might have been tears. "Oh, sweetheart," he said softly. "I wanted to keep you from the moment I met you."



They ate their lunch in comfortable quiet, the winter sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows. Ava dunked her grilled cheese into her soup and thought about wanting and keeping and the way Bill said "sweetheart" like it was her real name.



Outside, snow began to fall in fat, lazy flakes.







The phone call came on a Tuesday.



Ava was in the living room, curled up on the couch with Benny and a book Bill had given her, something about a girl who could walk through walls. The irony wasn't lost on her, but she found comfort in stories about people like her, people who were different in ways that mattered.



Bill's voice carried from the kitchen, where he'd gone to answer the phone. At first, his tone was normal, professional and polite. But gradually, something shifted. His words became clipped, careful in a way that made Ava's stomach tighten.



"I understand," she heard him say. "Yes, I'm aware of the applications. No, I don't think that's necessary at this time."



A long pause, then: "She's not a weapon. She's a child."



The book slipped from Ava's numb fingers. She knew that tone, had heard variations of it in dozens of social worker offices and government buildings. It was the tone people used when they were discussing her future without her input.



"I'll need time to consider this," Bill said finally. "Yes, I understand the implications. Good day."



The phone clicked back into its cradle, and silence filled the house like a held breath.



Ava sat frozen on the couch, Benny pressed tight against her chest. Part of her wanted to run upstairs, to hide under her bed and pretend she hadn't heard anything. But a larger part, the part that had grown stronger over the past four months, needed to know.



"Bill?" she called, her voice smaller than she'd intended.



He appeared in the doorway, his face carefully composed but his eyes troubled. "Hey. How's the book?"



"Who was that?"



For a moment, she thought he might deflect, might give her some easy lie about work or wrong numbers. But Bill had never lied to her, and he didn't start now.



"Some people from the government," he said, settling into the chair across from her. "They... they've been keeping track of your progress."



"What kind of progress?"



"Your control over your phasing. How you've been adapting."



The words hung between them, heavy with implication. Ava felt her hands beginning to tingle, felt the familiar loosening that meant her molecules were trying to scatter.



"They want to take me away," she said. It wasn't a question.



"They want to offer you training," Bill corrected carefully. "Special programs designed for people with abilities like yours."



"Training for what?"



Bill was quiet for a long moment, his hands clasped tight in his lap. "They weren't entirely clear about that."



But Ava had heard enough conversations in enough government offices to read between the lines. Training meant testing. Testing meant experiments. Experiments meant becoming something other than human.



"I don't want to go," she whispered.



"I know," Bill said simply. "I don't want you to go either."



"Can you stop them?"



Another pause, longer this time. "I don't know. Maybe. I can try."



Ava looked down at her hands, watching them flicker in and out of solidity as her emotions overwhelmed her control. The biorhythm tracker on her wrist was beeping steadily now, a metronome counting down to disaster.



"Hey," Bill said softly. He moved to the couch beside her, close enough to offer comfort but not so close as to crowd her. "Look at me."



She met his eyes, saw her own fear reflected there.



"Whatever happens," he said, "I want you to remember something. These past four months? They've been the best of my life. Not because of your abilities, not because of what you can do, but because of who you are. You're smart and brave and kind, and you make terrible jokes about my cooking, and you've taught me what it means to be a family."



Tears slipped down Ava's cheeks, hot and surprising. "But what if they—"



"No matter what they do," Bill interrupted gently, "no matter where they take you or what they try to make you into, you remember that you are Ava Starr. And you are not alone."



He reached out slowly, telegraphing his movements, and when she didn't pull away, he gathered her into his arms. She buried her face against his shoulder and let herself cry, for the family she'd never had, for the one she was about to lose, for the impossible cruelty of finding home just in time to have it taken away.



Outside, the winter wind rattled the windows, and somewhere in the distance, a car engine started up. Ava held tight to Bill and to Benny and tried to memorize this moment, the smell of his cologne, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, the way his hand smoothed her hair with infinite tenderness.



Tomorrow, everything might change. But today, she was home.

Notes:

marvel bring my family back and my life is yours