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It's been years since Shawn and him have been together like that. Even longer since they've been together, like that. Honestly, Hunter can't even remember the exact date that he last held a whining Shawn in his lap, rocking the -psychically, not mentally- older man to calm him down while he sucked on his thumb, Hunter murmuring soft reassurance to him.
That's a lie.
He knows the date.
It was the week after him and Stephanie had gotten married. It has been twenty-two god damn years.
He misses it sometimes. Misses running his hands through Shawn's hair, putting it in braids to make the shorter man giggle. He misses making simple lunches for the two of them in hotel rooms, finding a cartoon to play on the tv as they hold each other on the couch. He misses falling asleep, arms wrapped around Shawn, talking about everything and nothing until their eyes would flutter shut. He had promised Shawn that nothing would change when he got married. Sure, they wouldn't be together like that anymore, but he was more than happy to continue being Shawn's daddy, to be the one to take care of him. Shawn had laughed it off, saying he was fine, but Hunter should have known. There was something in Shawn's eyes, something cold, something distant. Shawn hadn't come to him again after that night. No matter how often he saw the shorter man clearly needing to regress, clearly needing to be held and babied, no matter how many times Hunter had asked him directly.
There's only so many times a man can be told to fuck off before it starts to hurt to much to try again. That's why Steph doesn't know the exact depths of their relationship, just that there was one. She knows that there's an old sippy cup, clearly from the 90s, that's been collecting dust in the back of one of their cabinets, but she doesn't know what it was used for. She probably does by now though, Hunter's learned long ago to not underestimate his wife. She knows there's a soft blanket kept in a closet that he brings out very rarely, only to spend the entire time laying with it while sniffling, running the fabric between his fingers.
All of this being said, he means it's a surprise when he answers his door at five in the evening to find Shawn Michaels standing on his porch, curled up on himself as he gets soaking wet in the rain. He hears Steph click her tongue in disapproval, hears her footsteps get further away as she walks somewhere in the house, but he's more focused on the man in front of him. There's a look on his face that Hunter hasn't seen in over twenty years, and a distant and old, yet familiar feeling starts to swirl in his gut. He's brought out of his thoughts when he hears a sigh, and a mumble that sounds like ‘useless boys’ but he can't be too sure. Suddenly Steph is pushing past him, towel in hand, dragging Shawn into their house. She ignores Shawns protests about getting water on their floors, and she takes off his hat, throwing it at Hunter. It hits his face with a ‘splat’ and it makes Shawn giggle. Hunter swears the sound of his heart cracking is audible in the otherwise quiet entry way, and the giggle brings back feelings he has managed to forget about.
“Are you going to go get him some clothes, or just stand there looking pretty?”
Hunter startles, opening his mouth to respond before he thinks better of it, and nearly books it to their room. He tries to ignore the swell of his heart when he realizes that pretty soon Shawn is going to be wearing his clothes. The shorter man always preferred Hunter's clothes when he was small, and this feels no different, even so many years later. He returns and finds that Stephanie's gotten the other man's shirt off, attempting to pat Shawn dry as he squirms away from her. They both look at him when the floor creaks under his steps, and he holds the clothes up.
“Good, you can change him.” She throws the towel over Hunter's shoulder, carefully stepping over Shawn's hat that is currently creating a puddle on the floor. She turns the corner, probably headed towards the kitchen, and Hunter turns back to his old partner. They stare at each other, silently, before Shawn timidly reaches a hand out to grab for the towel, and it snaps Hunter out of whatever trance he was in. He immediately covers the shorter man with it, lightly rubbing circles into his skin to dry him off.
“You should probably take your pants off too, ba- Shawn.” Hunter's voice sounds distant, even to himself, and he finds himself making a slip up that he hadn't made in years. Shawn flushes, nods, but doesn't move to do anything, and Hunter takes a deep breath to steady himself. He drapes the towel over Shawn's shoulders, grabbing his hand to drag him further into the house, away from the door and the windows. They stand there, Hunter staring expectantly, and Shawn squirms under his gaze.
“Help?” Shawn's voice is low, and it takes every ounce of self restraint Hunter has to not immediately pull him into his arms, and tell him everything's going to be fine now that daddy's got him. He doesn't have that right anymore. He hasn't for years. Instead, he pulls himself together, and quickly, but carefully, works on removing Shawn's belt, then his bottoms. He helps the shorter man shimmy on a pair of sweatpants, and he feels his eyes start to sting. Shawn raises his hands so Hunter can put a shirt on him, and he has to blink rapidly to stop the tears from forming. He's not one to cry, he doesn't know why now is any different.
Of course he knows why it's different. It's because it's Shawn. Everything's different when it comes to the man in front of him.
“Are you boys decent?” They both turn to look down the hallway, seeing Stephanie standing there, holding something in one of her hands. She walks closer to them, and holds it out. It's a sippy cup, filled with some kind of drink, but it's not the cup in their cabinet. At Hunter's raised eyebrow, she explains. “I figured the one we have belongs to an antique shop by now, so I got this one instead. It's not brand new, but at least it's not caked in dust.”
She holds the cup out to Shawn, and when he doesn't make any move to take it, she smiles softly at him. “Don't worry, I washed it.”
He stares at her for a few moments, and then the cup, before he slowly takes the handle. He doesn't drink from it, but he's holding it against his chest like he's going to have it taken from him. Hunter can't help but feel like maybe that's his fault.
“Yell if you boys need anything.” With that she walks away, grabbing the wet clothes and towel from the floor. They watch her leave, before turning back to each other.
“Why are you-”
“M sorry-”
They speak at the same time, both stopping and staring at each other. There's an awkwardness in the air that hasn't been there for years, and Hunter hates it. He's spent so long building up his friendship with Shawn, trying to distance himself from who he was as Shawn's caregiver, and it's all crumbling down around him in the span of a few minutes. Hunter clears his throat, daring to be the one to speak first.
“Why are you here?”
Shawn curls up on himself again, shoulders hunched and tight, and Hunter knows he's said something wrong. Before he can try to rectify his mistake, Shawn shakes his head.
“Is not-” He sighs, chewing on his bottom lip as he hesitates. “Was either this or-”
He trails off, and Hunter's scared of what he might possibly say next.
“Thought about um, bout usin'-”
Hunter knows exactly what Shawn means by that, and he presses his lips into a line to try to control his facial expression. He doesn't even think, can't even think through the awful feeling in his head, he just lunges forward to wrap his arms around Shawn, murmuring against his head.
“Thank you, for coming here instead. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry-” He sniffles, shaking his head.
“You lef’ me-” Shawn's voice cracks, and with it, Hunter's heart. “You lef’ me-”
“I didn't, no no Shawn, I didn't leave you-”
“You did!” Shawn shouts, shoving the sippy cup as hard as he can against Hunter's chest, making the taller man groan. “You didn wanna be my daddy anymo’.”
“Baby, I, I thought you didn't want me anymore. You told me to fuck off. Several times.”
Shawn shakes his head, frowning. “Always wanned you, always.”
“Then why did you stop coming to me?”
“You moved on.”
It's then that Hunter gets it. He finally gets it, twenty-two years too late. But he gets it. He loves Steph, loves her with every inch of his body. But apparently, in doing so, he managed to push his boy away. His boy, who had been there first. He doesn't know what to say, what right combination of words will make everything better. Instead he just sighs, pressing his face against Shawn's head again.
“I never meant to move on from you, never. I've always loved you, always will. I never wanted to stop-” He hesitates, not sure if he should cross this line right now or not. “I never wanted to stop being your daddy, I always wanted to take care of you.”
“I can't be a side fing, m won't dos it.”
This is not a topic they should be discussing while Shawn is this vulnerable, this small. Hunter sighs, and kisses his head.
“You never were, Steph always knew.”
“Bu’ never de'ails.”
“No, but she does now, I promise. And if,” He inhales, trying to calm himself down, though that feels impossible right now. “If you want to stay, I'll tell her everything.”
“Wanna stay, daddy.” Shawn nods, and Hunter feels his heart swell with hope before he stomps it down. He's just a kid right now, he probably doesn't mean anything he's agreeing to. Regardless, Hunter enjoys the feeling of getting to hold him after all this time, ignoring the slight pain from where the sippy cup is pressing into his side.
“Then you can stay, you can stay for as long as you need.”
They stand in that hallway, just clutching onto each other, for what feels like hours. Hunter doesn't want to let him go again, afraid that he'll slip away, this time for good, like he thought he had all those years ago. For now, he'll just enjoy the warm feeling in his chest for as long as possible.
-
“You should just call him.” Stephanie says, not looking up from her phone. She's annoyed with her husband, clearly, and she currently finds that her emails are much more interesting than the emotional crisis he's gotten himself into. “This will never work without communication.”
It's been a few days since Shawn had shown up at their front door, looking every bit like the soaking wet kitten she's been mentally comparing him to for years. In a fond way, of course. He had promised he'd call Hunter when he got home, to actually discuss it further, but he hadn't, and Stephanie's pretty sure if her husband had any hair left, he would have pulled it all out by now.
“The phone works both ways-”
“But he said he was going to call me!” There's an emphasis on the ‘me’, and Hunter throws his hands up in exasperation. She has to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Instead she just reaches over to where his phone is laying on the coffee table, and opens his contacts.
“Stephanie do not-”
He's cut off by the sound of the phone ringing, and she places it on speaker. Shawn picks up on the first ring, and Stephanie resists the urge to mouth ‘I told you so' to her husband. Instead, she clears her throat and starts speaking.
“Shawn?”
“Oh, hi Steph.” Even in those three words she can hear the disappointment at it not being Hunter, and she huffs in amusement.
“Don't worry, Hunter's here too. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?”
Hunter plops himself down on the couch opposite of her, crossing his arms and glaring at her. To anyone else he would look intimidating, but they've been married way too long for her to take him seriously when he's like this.
“Uh,” the phone crackles a bit, and they can hear Shawn sigh. “Yeah, why not. Do I need to bring anything?”
“Just yourself.” She catches Hunter's eyes, and then smirks. “And maybe a change of clothes.”
Both of the men start sputtering, and she can see Hunter start to flush.
“Just get here by five, ok Shawn?”
He mumbles out an agreement, and then hangs up. Immediately Hunter throws his hands up, a shocked look on his face.
“What was that?”
“Well neither of you wanted to put on your big boy panties and just call the other, so I had to do something about it.”
“I would have called him, I just- Don't roll your eyes at me, Steph!”
“Sure, I believe you.” She says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I just helped it happen faster.”
“The house is a mess, Steph!”
She leans over, dragging a finger through the non existent dust on their coffee table. “I'm sure he'll be devastated.”
Hunter groans, dragging his hands down his face, and walks hurriedly out of the room. She opens her phone back to her email, smiling at herself as she listens to her husband's footsteps get more and more distant into the house.
It's four fifty-nine when there's a knock on their door, and Hunter turns to face Stephanie, a panicked look on her face.
“What do I do?”
“You're the one that's had us stand here for the past ten minutes, you open the door.”
He grumbles, but opens the door nonetheless. Shawn's standing there, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and he brings a hand up to awkwardly wave at the two standing in the house. None of them say anything before Steph motions Shawn inside, shutting the door.
“We should talk, and then we can eat. Either of you have complaints about take-out?”
Neither of them answer her, but they follow her into the living room when she starts walking, sitting down on the couch. Hunter sits down next to her, and Shawn sits on the couch opposite of them, taking off his hat to fiddle with it in his hands.
“About what happened last time-”
“I'm sorry.” Shawn cuts Hunter off, looking in their general direction but avoiding direct eye contact with either of them. “I shouldn't have just shown up like that, and I apologize.”
Hunter makes a wounded noise but doesn't respond, so Stephanie speaks for him.
“Shawn, we would much rather you come to us instead of you turning to a different kind of coping. Our door will always be open to you.”
He doesn't respond, but he does open and close his mouth a few times, glancing between the two of them. Stephanie sighs, and smiles softly at Shawn.
“It doesn't have to include me, you know? If you both want whatever this is to just be between you two, that's alright too. If you just want him to be your daddy again, and nothing else, that's perfectly fine.” Shawn stares at her in shock, finally looking her in the eyes, and she smiles.
“You told me to tell her everything.” Hunter huffs from next to her.
“Yeah but I didn't think you would…” He trails off, clearing his throat once or twice. “I didn't want you to potentially ruin your relationship for me.”
“Shawn, I'd do anything for you.” Honestly, Stephanie feels like she should be a little insulted, but she knows what her husband means. She shifts further into the corner of the couch so she can be out of eyeshot of the two men currently staring at each other. She needs a drink. Or two. Hunter continues speaking. “I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't come to me all these years, that was never my intention.”
Shawn's doing some weird thing with his face, like he's grimacing and also trying not to cry. He blinks a few times before speaking. “But you did.”
Hunter slides forward, practically falling off of the couch. “I know, and I am, so, so sorry for it. Please, just tell me what you need from me.”
The shorter man looks down at his hat, flipping it a few times before he looks up at Stephanie. They stare, unblinking, until she nods her head, and he turns back to Hunter.
“I need you, Hunter. I've always needed you.”
“And you can have me, I promise you.”
“But-” He looks back at Stephanie, and she shakes her head. God, these two would be running in circles around each other for forever if she wasn't here.
“Shawn, Hunter, look at me.” She waits until she has both of their attention until she speaks. “I am fine with whatever sort of relationship you guys have, physical or romantic, or not. I know how much you both mean to each other, and I'm sorry I unknowingly played a role in keeping you two apart.” She glares at Hunter at the end of her sentence, clearly annoyed by her husband.
Neither man says anything for a moment, and she prepares herself to have to continue the conversation, but Shawn speaks up.
“I want to be with you, Hunter. In every way. I want to be your boy again.” His face flushes, and Stephanie honestly thinks it's kind of cute. Hunter is frozen until she elbows him in the gut, and he hurriedly gets up, nearly throwing himself onto the other couch to wrap the other man in his arms. She can hear someone sniffling, but she can't tell who it is, they're pressed too closely together for her to distinguish them. She can hear soft murmuring, and she knows that that's Hunter.
“I love you.” That too, is her husband. She thought that hearing him say that, in that tone especially, would be painful, too much to bear even, but it's not. It's actually kind of calming, watching him smile and hold Shawn's face in his hands. “I love you so much.”
Shawn smiles before tilting his head to softly kiss him, and Steph looks over at the wall, trying to give the two men some privacy. They pull back from each other, resting against each other's foreheads, smiling softly. Shawn reaches a hand up to grab Hunter's wrist, holding it loosely, muttering softly. “I love you even more.”
The soft silence is interrupted by the sound of Shawn's stomach growling, and Stephanie can't stop her snicker at the man when he flushes with embarrassment. She stands up and walks past the two to her phone, stopping to kiss Hunter's face, and the top of Shawn's head.
“Since neither of you answered me earlier about a preference, I'm just ordering panda.”
She looks over at the two, and they're still just softly smiling, staring into each other's eyes. She rolls her eyes fondly and opens her phone, walking further into the house. By the time she returns, they've moved. Shawn's still sitting on the couch, but Hunter's sitting on the floor, staring up at him as they softly talk about something.
“Should I leave you two be?”
They both startle, clearly not having heard her return, but they both shake their heads.
“Shawn wants to talk to you about something.”
The shorter man hisses, throwing a leg out to kick Hunter in the knee. Stephanie just laughs and sits back down on the couch, motioning for them to go on.
“Would you uh, would you be ok with also looking after me? When I'm- I'm small, I mean.”
Huh.
She didn't think that was going to happen. She doesn't have an answer at first, but the more she thinks about it, the more her heart flutters at the idea. She may not feel exactly the same way about Shawn that her husband does, but she can see the appeal of taking care of him. She must have taken too long to answer, because she can see the panic on Shawn's face, and the frown on Hunter's.
“You don't have to! It was just an idea, really-”
“I'd love to, Shawn.”
He blinks a few times at her, and she can see Hunter start to smile out of the corner of her eyes. “Really?”
“Of course I would, I'd be honored. I know we aren't as close as you and my husband,” Hunter snorts at that, earning him another kick in the knee. “But I'll gladly be here for you, whenever you need it.”
She smiles at him, and he smiles softly back, a warm feeling in all of their chests. They continue on with soft chatter about everything and nothing, and by the time food arrives, Shawn is acting slightly off. Nothing too different, but he's more giggly, fiddling with his fingers as he smiles at them, teeth on display. He seems more relaxed, and she's pretty sure he might be getting small. She thinks that's what it's called at least. She cheers when she comes back with the bags, and her thoughts are confirmed when he turns to Hunter.
“Wans my cup, p'ease?”
Hunter smiles and turns to him. “I don't know where your cup is, baby. You'd have to ask Steph.”
Shawn looks at her, with those eyes of his and smiles softly, tilting his head. “Cans I have m’ cup, mommy?”
Oh.
Stephanie officially will now kill and die for the man in front of her, she's decided now. She doesn't know how anyone in the world can not find this adorable, and she feels a slight flash of anger towards her dumbass husband for keeping this boy away from them for so long, but she quickly smothers it. She will be throwing a pillow at him later for it though. Hunter's eyes are wide, staring at the shorter man in shock, and Shawn squirms uncomfortably under his gaze.
“M sorry-”
“Nope, don't apologize baby, you've done nothing wrong.” She leans over to pinch Hunter, making him hiss. “Do you want apple juice in your cup?”
He smiles, nodding his head excitedly. “Yes p'ease!”
She hurries to the kitchen, grabbing the sippy cup and filling it with juice, making sure that the lid is on completely, so nothing's spilt on her floor by accident. She returns to them diving up the food, her husband helping Shawn put noodles on her plate. She hands the cup over to Shawn, and Hunter taps his nose gently.
“What do we say baby?”
“T'ank you mommy!” He smiles at her, immediately taking a drink from the cup, leaning against the taller man as he continues to arrange the food. Hunter catches her eye and mouths ‘thank you’, and she nods, smiling.
“Anything for my favorite boy.”
Hunter gasps in mock offense and it makes Shawn giggle, and he pokes Hunter in the side.
“Mommy looooves me!”
“Yeah,” Hunter gets this impossibly soft look on his face, like her and Shawn are the only two people in the world, and his lips curl up into a smile. “Yeah she does. And I do too.”
“Love you mo’, daddy.”
Stephanie can see her husband's eyes get slightly watery, but she doesn't point it out, instead focusing on her food. Dinner passes with the most smiling she's ever seen in years from Shawn, and it warms something in her chest. She's glad that he's made his way back to Hunter, and by association, to her as well. She watches the two men jokingly tease each other, watches as her husband's eyes light up while he helps Shawn cut into his food, watches it all with a smile across her face and her heart full. She could get used to this, being this little makeshift family, taking care of Shawn. Maybe even loving him. For now though, she bites into a piece of her orange chicken, and snorts at a joke Shawn made, relishing in the smile the two men give her.