Work Text:
for one shining moment it’s there:
the taste of billowing nostalgia
the flash of a summer’s day at her fingertips.
then it’s gone.
even glass
can be
an implement of destruction.
she gouges out the eye of the rifthound atop her
unable to distinguish its roars
from her screaming.
he tells her to do better.
she imagines his death.
no desire. no mercy.
her lips flush to istaroth’s.
the tsaritsa’s. focalors’.
she fades out from their stories
without any regrets.
letting go is easy.
master,
why were you there
at the moment of pyretic impact?
master,
who did you leave as kindling
hoping to set yourself aflame?
master. foul beast.
i see the echo of you in myself
and i kill it.
together, she says.
shore to connected shore.
one stream flowing into itself again.
lifelong fear turned on its head.
together. a promise.
joy
like bitter almonds
the taste of cyanide
smoke
curling in her lungs
and in dreams,
father takes on
her master’s face.
the swaying, transient self. the self shaped like a knife. the self
rotted and fetid at the bottom of a lake.
all heart springs from the same source.
dancing water, the sand
along
your
path
is begging for your song
and movement.
will you carry this burden with you on your journey?
to set the world right like a broken wrist.
respecting the person whose neck lies beneath your blade.
someday, ajax will carry the knife that brings her down.
but which of her; how much? how many?
the world
revolves like a blade
spinning on its pointed edge.
nothing without strength.
all violence.
crystal limbs
and hands squeezed
around her own throat.
take me back. take us back.
bring us together
at last!
knowing all the time
that the singular self
is gone.