Chapter Text
Denki sat alone in his dorm, the lights were off and he was thinking.
He missed his boyfriend Kirishima, but he didn't want to worry him with his pathetic little vents. Denki felt weak, and he felt empty.. he was empty but he was also sad. He moved his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. Denki felt a sudden tension build in his chest. It was overpowering him and pushing down his confidence slowly.
“Im fucking useless.” Denki started sobbing and he felt the tension in his chest continue to pile up.
“Fuck. Fuck fuck.. Useless.. I'm pathetic.” Denki sobbed out.
The aching tension in his chest was stronger than it ever had been before. He needed something. Anything, as long as it would make the pain go away. Denki had never thought of hurting himself on purpose, but he had always seen those stupid sounding vent accounts on tiktok. He needed some way to cope. His mind was too fogged to think of any other way to cope.
“I'm useless..” Denki felt a smile form on his face. He had found a way to cope. He was going to do it. He couldn't resist any longer.
Denki needed something. His mind was still fogged and he only had one coping idea in mind. It wasn't a good idea at all. Denki managed to get up. His legs were weak and unsteady. He stood up and looked around his room.
He needed something, Anything, he just needed to feel something other than desperation. His eyes locked onto the pencil sharpener he had gotten in an art set. He hadn't used it to sharpen a pencil yet. It wouldn't be dull, it would cut deeper.
“Fuck.. This is pathetic.” Denki mumbled to himself as he made his way to the desk. He grabbed the sharpener and desperately searched for a screwdriver driver that would work to unscrew it.
Denki finally found a small enough screwdriver and collapsed to the floor with it, his hands were shaking and he was sweating.
He slowly unscrewed the screw, the blade falling onto his dorm's carpet.
Denki broke out into a sob as he grabbed the blade, he was finally processing what he was gonna do.
“Im so fucking pathetic.. I was gonna fucking harm myself..” He choked out those words, he was shaking. His mind slowly gets consumed by dark thoughts. If he was pathetic he might as well do it anyway.
Denki grabbed the blade and clutched it in his grip.
Denki let out a mix of a sob and a laugh, he knew what he was doing now. And he wasn't hesitant.
Denki put the blade to his wrist, he held it there. He wasn't uncertain, he was scared. What if his friends or Kirishima found out. Denki pushed the doubt away and pushed the blade to his skin. There was a sharp pain that faced into relief before the blood lightly seeped. It wasn't bleeding much, that was good.
He repeated this with a few more thin slices onto his wrist, the pain finally faded in and he stopped.
Denki took a deep breath and leaned back against his mattress.
The pain was small, but he took it as a sign to stop. He felt more relieved than he did dreadful. It was nice.