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“Barnes, what the fuck?!” The door bangs shut.
So, Sam is angry. Not that Bucky is surprised.
He takes a deep breath, bracing himself with hands flat on the kitchen island as Sam marches into their apartment.
He’s taking off his jacket like he’s getting ready for a fight – which is probably about to happen. But then again, Bucky already knew it would happen when he flew back to Washington.
“Let me explain–” he pleads.
“Oh no, I heard your voicemail.” Sam throws the jacket onto the couch with a sarcastic huff. “Because that’s the only way to catch Valentina–”
“And keep Bob safe.”
“Who the hell is Bob?!” Sam throws his hands in the air.
“Look.” Bucky sighs. “I know you’re forming an Avengers team–”
“I’m going to stop you right there.” Sam lifts a finger, going around the couch like he’s trying to create distance between them. “Because I asked–I asked you Bucky!–if you wanted to join–” Sam grabs an abandoned book from the center table and throws it at him. Bucky easily dodges it and it flies over his shoulder, hitting the counter behind him like they both knew it would. “–the team, and you said you wanted to keep your political career. You bullshitted me that it was your purpose. I moved back to this fucking state because of you!”
Sam grabs the remote and throws it. Bucky lets it break against his chest, barely feeling it, mentally adding buy a new remote to his shopping list – although now guess he’ll have to move to New York.
That leaves a sour taste in his mouth, guilt threatening to suffocate him.
“And now you announce you're forming the new Avengers with a new team?!” Sam laughs bitterly. “Working for Valentina?! What happened to your plan with Congressman Gary, huh?”
“Things are more complicated than that. You don’t know what happened there.”
“What happened there?!”
Bucky’s not even sure why that makes Sam angrier. He throws the bonsai tree at him – which is just mean. Bucky lifts his metal arm to shield his face, but the debris and soil still hit him.
Momentarily he misses the time people were scared of the Winter Soldier... though Sam never did, did he? That’s one of the reasons Bucky fell for him so hard.
“Don’t get me started on what happened there. At least when I was fighting Ross, I sent you a message saying ‘giant red Hulk about to kill me, a little super soldier help please.’” Sam takes his phone from his jeans and waves it around. “Which, by the way, you arrived five minutes too late. But you?! I see you–real time–walking into a fucking shadow that turns people into a smudge of black paint on the sidewalk, and all I get is a fucking I love you Sam. You fucking suicidal—”
Sam throws his phone, and Bucky catches it easily, knowing Sam would be even angrier if he let it break.
“–asshole, prick!”
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” Bucky starts circling the island to reach Sam, who backs away, shaking his head.
“I’ll punch you in the face.”
“At least let me tell you what happened.”
“What happened is you’re going to New York!” Sam tries to keep the couch between them, which is ridiculous. Bucky isn’t going to chase him around. “You started a team with John Walker for fuck’s sake!”
“Stop running from me,” Bucky warns.
“You convinced me to be Captain America,” Sam says, pressing a hand to his chest and continuing to move around the couch as Bucky approaches again. “You know what? You’re a traitor.”
Bucky growls annoyed and throws the couch to the opposite wall with one hand – Sam doesn’t even flinch.
“I didn’t betray you. I didn’t have a choice. Those guys would’ve been arrested if I’d used them to get Valentina, and God knows what they’d do to Bob.” Bucky steps forward and Sam crosses his arms, stubborn. “And I do fucking love you. I didn’t just say that because I thought I was about to die.”
He hesitates as he gets close enough, carefully holding Sam’s face.
“Also... politics wasn’t going anywhere. And I feel like I suddenly found a place where I belong with all those dysfunctional idiots.”
Sam tries to look away, his eyes sad for a split second, but when Bucky pulls his face back the angry look returns.
“Where does that leave me, huh?” Sam tries to sound furious but fails by a mile.
Bucky chuckles at Sam’s ridiculous fit of jealousy. He never thought he’d see the day Sam Wilson would be jealous – it sort of makes him feel good. It probably shouldn’t.
“You’re out of my league, Sam. And you know – you have to know I would still choose you three times before anything else. Before anyone else. You know that, right?”
Bucky stares into Sam’s eyes, trying to salvage whatever he can from whatever their relationship is.
He gets the glare back.
He tries to steal a kiss, going in slowly, but Sam’s hand covers Bucky’s lips at the last inch. He almost uses his strength to push it away.
“The Avengers name is mine. I deserve it. And I’ll fight you on it,” Sam hisses, though the fire from before is fading. Bucky takes that as a win.
“I confess myself to you and that’s all I get?” Bucky mumbles behind Sam’s hand, a smirk in his tone.
He can see how hard Sam is trying not to look smug and flirt back. Instead Sam steps away, suddenly too far from him, and goes for the jacket on the floor.
“If you think nice words are enough to appease me, you don’t know me well enough.”
“Where are you going?” Bucky frowns.
“To sleep in my quarters,” Sam says walking to the door and grabbing his phone along the way.
“Sam, come on!” Bucky starts following him.
“I’m too pissed off to deal with your face next to my pillow.”
Sam opens the door and Bucky instinctively slaps it closed.
“You’re going too far.”
Sam turns, staring sternly.
“And what do you think happens now? If dating as Captain America and Congressman Barnes was already hard enough, what do you think happens now that we’re on separate teams?”
“We’re not enemies.”
Bucky can feel himself starting to panic. He’s pretty sure he shouldn’t panic – he learned how to deal with difficult emotions so that he wouldn’t panic.
“That’s not the point.”
“You’re being purposely cruel.”
“And you’re being purposely naive! Now let me out, Bucky.”
Sam tries to shove his chest – a useless attempt but Bucky does step away, swallowing the lump in his throat. Better to let Sam go before he actually says he never wants to see Bucky again.
Sam opens the door and leaves, slamming it shut in his face.
A part of Bucky, the Winter Soldier part, wants to go after Sam and drag him back, maybe even tie him up just to keep him with him.
The rational part knows Sam just needs to calm down. He’ll be back. He wouldn’t leave Bucky, not over something like this. Not because of a name.
Worst case scenario Bucky will have to work on his puppy eyes. Maybe even beg. Maybe seduce Sam until he forgets why he’s even mad.
He can’t lose the best thing that’s happened to him since Hydra – the one person who made him want to live again. Who made him feel like he could love again.
Sure, whatever they had wasn’t exactly love. It started with sex – a lot of sex – and they never actually called it a relationship but it was implicit, right? They shared an apartment.
And it was sort of a secret. Not because they were uncomfortable with their sexuality, but because they didn’t want the drama – not when both were trying to fulfill their roles as black Captain America and ex serial assassin Congressman.
Bucky feels that nauseating insecurity – the fear that maybe Sam could get tired of him and want to end… whatever they have.
He sort of wants to cry.
Instead he leaves Sam a long voice message explaining everything that happened with the Thunderbolts and his motivations. Hoping this is just Sam making a scene. Hoping that, with all the details he didn’t give before, maybe he'd understand.
He almost sends one last message saying he’ll give up the New Avengers deal for Sam but stops at the last second – he couldn’t betray the Thunderbolts like that.
He groans and drops his face on Sam’s pillow where his scent still lingers, staring at the photos of Sam all night trying to figure out where he went wrong.
It’s four days of radio silence when his assistant knocks on his office door, interrupting the meeting he’s having with Congressman Gary to finalize the new plan to take down Valentina now that he’s leaving Congress.
He almost wants to glare at her when her head pops in, but her expression says it all – she wouldn’t dare interrupt unless she had to and he did tell her to never make him wait.
“I’m sorry to interrupt Mr. Barnes, but Captain America is waiting to see you.”
“Superhero stuff?” Congressman Gary raises an eyebrow as Bucky nods at her.
“Something like that.” Bucky licks his lips, trying to figure out how to kick the man out without making it obvious that Sam is more important – which he is.
Fortunately, Mr. Gary gets up without being asked.
“Well I guess we’ve already established what’s important for now. See you Wednesday then?”
“Yes. Thank you so much for understanding. Again.” Bucky stands to shake his hand.
Mr. Gary gives a tight smile, returning the shake.
“You’re one of the good guys, Barnes. I respect that.”
He leaves, and Bucky hears him greet Sam out in the hallway, their short exchange just enough time for Bucky to quietly freak out about what’s coming.
Either Sam is here to forgive him... or break up permanently.
Bucky straightens his suit, suddenly self-conscious, swallowing down his anxiety.
Then Sam walks in, looking way hotter than him in a suit, and closes the door with a click – two weeks ago that sound would’ve meant sex on the desk. Now...
“Hey,” Bucky blurts.
Sam’s face gives nothing away as he walks slowly inside. “Hi. Can we talk?”
“Sure.” Bucky gestures to the chair in front of his desk.
Then, not so innocently he slowly slides the little cactus vase away from Sam. He hears him huff.
“Fine. I deserved that.”
There’s a small smile tugging at the corner of Sam’s lips but he doesn’t sit. Instead he comes around to Bucky’s side of the desk and leans on it.
“I... may have exaggerated,” Sam says. Bucky exhales in relief, dropping back into his chair. “Though I’m still mad at you.”
“I’ll still accept that as an apology.”
“You’re an asshole,” Sam replies, but there’s no venom behind it.
A moment of silence stretches between them. Bucky waits, patient, for whatever Sam wants to say.
“I heard about what happened in New York.” Sam finally says, “There’s a depression pandemic or something. People had to relive all their traumas in that black shadow from the... hum, what did you say it was called? Sentry?”
“Yeah...”
Sam shrugs. “I just–I wanted to know if you’re okay.”
Bucky grins.
Sam is worried about him.
“If I say no, do I get a hug?” Bucky leans forward, still smiling. Sam glares. “If I say I’m having nightmares every night, do I get you back in my bed?”
“I’m regretting coming in here.”
Sam moves to get up, but Bucky catches his wrist.
“Wait. Come on Sam.”
“I come here with an olive branch, and you poke me with it.”
“Not my fault the stick is so far up your ass.”
“Where’s that cactus?!” Sam looks around. “I'm not going to miss your face this time.”
Bucky chuckles and pulls Sam towards him, letting him pretend he doesn’t want to sit in Bucky’s lap – he fits perfectly there, open legs wrapping easily around Bucky’s waist.
The smile fades from Bucky’s face as Sam’s attention settles fully on him. He knows what Sam is waiting for.
“I tried okay? I really did,” Bucky whispers. “Valentina isn’t budging. She wants the Avengers’ name no matter what. She’s not afraid of losing me from the team. If she has the data to make more people like Bob... she might not need me. I have to find out who she’s working with, where she’s starting the experiments again, who she’ll experiment on.”
Sam sighs looking down, his hands tracing Bucky’s shoulders. Slowly, they move to his chest, opening the buttons of Bucky’s jacket so he can press his hands against the shirt underneath – it's like Bucky belongs to him.
He probably does belong to Sam.
He wants to belong to Sam.
Bucky’s hands grip Sam’s hips, tight, as if afraid he’ll leave again. He needs Sam in his life, even if he can’t have everything he wants right now.
“What about your team? How are they?”
“We’re technically Yelena’s team,” Bucky says.
Sam gives him an unimpressed look.
“They’re in New York, waiting for me. I think they like finally being on the right side – though they did demand a pretty huge salary from Valentina.” Sam snorts and Bucky smirks. “She’s offering us the Tower. So we... you know... we’ll live there.”
Sam nods. He already knew that was coming. He tried to warn him.
“It’s nice to see you making friends.”
“Thanks.”
Sam’s hands slide down to Bucky’s abs, making him shiver under the touch.
“I, hum...” Bucky licks his lips, gathering courage. “I heard your Avengers are also staying in New York.”
“Well, yeah.” Sam smirks. “Happy offered us the compound.” Sam looks smug. It makes Bucky want to kiss the hell out of him. “Because we’re the real Avengers.”
Bucky huffs, smiling.
“So we won’t be far from each other, huh?”
“If your room’s somewhere inconspicuous, a certain bird might fly by unnoticed...” Sam smirks, lifting an eyebrow.
Bucky grins. YES.
He stands up, lifting Sam easily and dropping him on the desk.
“Oh.” Sam’s eyes widen. “Calm down, cowboy.”
Bucky leans in, hands braced on either side of Sam’s thighs, lips hovering near his.
“Don’t you dare do that to me ever again.” He stares into Sam’s eyes.
“Do what?” Sam asks innocently.
“Make it sound like I’m never going to be with you again.”
Sam’s fingers brush Bucky’s collar as he avoids his gaze.
“Did you know you look like you’re about to kill someone when you’re trying to be romantic?”
“Probably because it feels like I’m going to die. You’re going to be the death of me, Sam.”
Sam glances at him, then pulls Bucky into a kiss. Bucky’s hands move up, pulling Sam’s body to the edge of the desk as Sam’s legs open, letting Bucky slide between them.
Sam’s arms wrap around his neck, fingers in his hair, moaning between kisses.
Bucky’s metal hand grips the back of Sam’s neck, guiding the kiss, while his other hand slides up Sam’s thigh until–Sam pulls back, arms stretched out to keep Bucky at a distance.
“I gotta go.”
“Really?” Bucky says shocked.
“You know.” Sam shrugs. “Some of us have to reassure the world that a hero team made of assassins owned by Valentina is not a world-ending threat.”
Sam jumps off the desk, Bucky doesn’t give him quite enough space to slip away, staying uncomfortably close.
Sam huffs exasperated.
“You’re going back to the apartment,” Bucky warns. “Or I’m shooting your quarters’ security system, immobilizing you and carrying you home myself.”
Sam chuckles, grabs Bucky’s collar and pulls him down, lips close to his. “I love it when you go all Winter Soldier on me.”
Then they’re kissing again – chaste, messy and perfect.
As they part, Bucky impulsively pulls Sam into a hug, hiding his face in Sam’s neck, breathing in his scent.
It’s a little awkward. He’s definitely embarrassed by how needy it is. But Sam’s arms wrap around him, tight.
And it feels right.
Then, a whisper so low only someone enhanced could hear…
“I love you too.”
Sam takes advantage of Bucky’s stunned silence to pull away, walk around the desk and with an awkward cough, open and close the door behind him – leaving Bucky alone, staring into space like an idiot.
It’s more than enough.
It’s a lot.
It makes Bucky grin like an idiot and punch the air, shouting, “YEAH!”
Everything’s going to be okay. He’s back in action. He’s saving the world. He has a team of annoying assholes to protect.
And Sam – Sam loves him.
He's not about to throw it all away.
And Bucky? Bucky is never letting him go.