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"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
— Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Death: The Final Stage of Growth, 1975)
At first, he was in denial. There's no way that everyone just saw his entire past against his will and still wanted to treat him the same. There was just no way. He was in a panic, desperate to escape this feeling of guilt and betrayal gnawing at his insides.
He couldn't look them in the eye anymore, not at all. There's no way he could. It was impossible. They were pretending to be worried about him, weren't they? Even after he had erased Kurotopi, he still thought they'd never want anything to do with him ever again.
There was just absolutely no way.
...Right?
Eventually, the denial turned into bursts of anger. He was angry, but more so at himself. He was so angry at himself for letting this happen in the first place. Why? Why did it have to even happen? Why did he fall for Kuroto's trick, to allow his copy to nearly roam freely while he'd be forever lost inside of a game world, brainwashed?
He was so angry that they had to find out this way! It wasn't fair!
His fits of anger didn't last often, but when they did, everyone tried desperately to calm him down. How could he calm down? How? They just saw his darkest secret, one he tried to keep hidden because even he didn't even want to believe it really happened.
Then the anger turned into bargaining. He was crying out, begging a higher power to change the past, to make everyone—including himself—forget what even occured. Emu wanted to bargain with everyone, to beg them to forget what happened. Afterall, he didn't deserve to be a doctor like this.
How could he, someone who tried to end his own life, continue being a doctor?
It made him realize he was depressed.
The depression was getting to him.
While everyone would be sitting at the table in CR and joking around, laughing, he'd just be staring off into space. He wanted so badly to just crawl into a hole and die there. Yet, they'd still include him in everything.
Why?
What was the reason?
They were trying so hard to include him and make sure he was alright, but he thought they pitied him.
They just pitied him, it's all it was.
But then one day, he was talking with Parado. Parado, who was smiling at him. As he spoke, Emu felt worry from him. It had to have been pity.
There was no other option.
"Emu?"
"Huh?" He lifted his head up to glance at Parado, who was the one to drag him from his thoughts.
"Are you okay?" He asked his human, clearly worried. "You didn't pause the game and were staring off into space."
"Wait, what?" His gaze went down quickly to the console in his hand, realizing the timer was reaching 4 minutes. He was trying to reach his record of 1 minute and 45 seconds prior to zoning out. "Ahhh, sorry—" he paused to close the game before letting the console slip through his fingers and brought his hands to his head.
"You're definitely not okay."
Its true, he wasn't okay.
But he will be okay.
Everyone was checking on him constantly. Was it because they really cared about him? That had to have been the only reason, right? Had he truly confused friendship for pity? "I will be okay." The pediatrician pulled his hands away as he smiled and looked at Parado. "Eventually, I think."
Yeah.
He will be eventually.
Finally, he could accept his past and his future. "Thank you for being there for me and saving my heart, Parado. I'm finally home."
The bugster just smiled back at him. "Welcome home, Emu."
That's right. His friends were his family. His friends were the ones who've supported his dark and fragile heart. He can finally accept his past as part of himself.
Instead of grieving, he's finally healing.