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Third-period gym class.
Chevreuse fucking hated it as much as a person could.
It was the place from where teenagers would return all sweaty and panting just to suddenly be shoved into taking a 20-question pop quiz on trigonometry after probably giving 5 girls in Lululemon jackets a concussion.
But thankfully, for a while now this semester, Chevreuse had been able to just stand around and talk whenever she had been able to get with her girlfriend Chiori on teams. It was refreshing other than how now and then, some gnat would be screeching Bloody Mary in their ears to “get their head in the game!!!” But they would never listen.
“Hey,” Chiori had whispered once, grinning like she knew she was about to ruin Chevreuse’s whole train of thought, “what do you think would happen if we just... kept walking and never came back?”
“We’d die of heatstroke halfway to the parking lot,” Chevreuse replied.
“Worth it,” Chiori said, bumping her hip into hers. “Better than dodgeball.”
A goofy smile began to pull at Chevreuse’s lips.
No one else mattered anyway in those blissful moments.
Those blissful moments where it had felt that the whole world around them had faded into watercolor as words poured endlessly from their lips.
Their eyes locked solely on each other’s, moving into different topics at the speed of I don’t know, an alcoholic on the freeway?
Laughter filled the air like they were stuck in some shitty Hallmark movie which only ended once Chevreuse was hunched over with her hands on her knees, wheezing, sounding like some sort of deformed rubber ducky til panicked screams shrieked out to “get her inhaler from her backpack!!!!”, something that didn’t exist cause well…despite how much it may have sounded like it, Chevreuse didn’t have asthma.
“You sounded like a dog toy,” Chiori had teased between laughs.
“Shut up,” Chevreuse wheezed, red-faced. “It’s your fault for being funny.”
“And hot,” Chiori added. “Don’t forget that part.”
Chevreuse gave her a half-hearted shove. “Ugh. You’re lucky I love you.”
But even then with Chiori’s warm touch and loving gaze, Chevreuse still HATED gym class with the wrath of a thousand suns.
To her it was appalling almost, the board atleast took into consideration that after dealing with math problems designed to make you wanna gnaw off your deskmate’s arm and I don’t know, cursive handwriting(?!) students deserved a break of sorts..but really, who decided that the best break possible for students was for them to be locked in a gymnasium for an hour straight as some fifty-year-old alcoholic(probably the same one from earlier on the freeway) with a beer belly instructs them on how to play sports!
And to be real, it’s not like that fifty-year-old probably had a teaching degree or whatever the heck you needed to be a teacher. If anything the principal probably just took a walk through the meretricious part of town and pulled the first man who looked like he could lift at the very least 10 pounds and offered him a job to hang out with a bunch of loud obnoxious teenagers all day, the dream, isn’t it?
Literally the first day of gym class, Chevreuse could have sworn that the gym teacher had stated something along the lines of “neither I nor you punk ass kids wanna be here but listen I just got out on Parole and I need a job!”.
Another thing she hated, now aside from the ‘adult supervision’ if you could even call it that, was that every.single.class felt like the purge was happening in a ninety -four by fifty-foot gym.
And that was because it was painfully obvious to everyone there that not a single class was ever planned out a day or so ahead, every day consisted of just the teacher erratically screaming out the first sport that came to his mind and then the students would have at it like savages starved for days on end.
Memories of the past began to play in the purple-haired girl’s head and her brow began to furrow.
“Uhhhh you guys wanna play football, go for it!!”
A grimace made its home on Chevreuse’s face as she remembered her life flashing before her eyes right as some white-haired six-foot two two hundred and fourth pound jock, would come flying at her like a boomerang just as she caught the football, her frame of five foot five no match despite her own muscle, as his green-haired female companion of sorts screeched at him to refrain.
The archons must have hated Chevreuse cause the very next day after that little football incident, the gym teacher had said, “You guys wanna do uhhh boxing?!”
“Wait a minute is that allowed??” meek mutters filled the gym yet no one spoke up still
Chevreuse winced as yet another memory of the same white-haired muscle head lunging at her as if he were a blood lusted zombie rose like a hickory loaf in the oven.
The coach could have at least put weight classes for the sake of the smaller students.
Archons, after that the nurse's office looked more akin to some sort of messed up house party with how many students were in there,
but instead of alcohol, there was just the most potent smelling hand sanitizer you’d ever encounter, which well still alcohol, wasn’t the kind that would make you forget how to spin around, touch your toes, and name all the teenage mutant ninja turtles when you’d get pulled over by the cops.
And instead of music, the room pulsed with groans of pain.
“You guys wanna-“ ok stop I’ll stop there.
If we were to continue anymore the whole stories just gonna be Chevreuse getting tackled by The one and oni Arataki Itto.
And oh the nurse, she probably hated Gym class as much as Chevreuse because there wasn’t any day where kids weren’t getting sent to the nurse’s office..practically every day some poor kid was on the floor bleeding out enough blood to keep an entire generation of vampires fed for the winter.
Fridays, though, were the only true mercy. Not because the weekend was near—well, okay, partly—but because Fridays meant cardio. Which, yes, still sucked, but at least you weren't getting body-slammed onto the oddly sticky floor due to your classmates shoving you around, it would be because of you!! This was cause on cardio days all you would do for an hour was run. No breaks. No water. Just running.
But thank the archons for the Gym teacher’s benevolence!! Because sometimes, just sometimes he would play music for the students whilst they ran, and by music I mean one song on loop for ALL of that hour; that song being the worst possible song for this occasion.
Chevreuse nor Chiori knew the name and neither cared to learn it, it was one of those..rather raunchy songs, clearly unfit for a school setting.
“You think he even listens to this music or just picks whatever sounds the most inappropriate?” Chevreuse muttered, between gasps of breath.
“Maybe it’s the only song he owns,” Chiori said. “His iPod got stuck in 2003.”
“His soul got stuck in 2003.”
The most memorable lyrics had said something along the lines of “Put it in my mouth, she said put it in her mouth,My motherfucking mouth, I mean her motherfucking mouth”, and gosh the other parts of it not being much better.
The vibe of it. Its delivery was slow and swaggering, each syllable feeling like a fatal blow, the sheer shamelessness of the writer utterly free as a bird. It was as if Sex-ed class was taught by someone’s creepy pervert grandfather.
The lyrics on the other hand were explicit on a whole new level, metaphors not even bothered to be used, not to mention that it was literally some dude DEMANDING oral intimacy in VIVID detail. It was so blunt that it turned from offensive to almost comedic in a way.
The section Chevreuse had been able to call off the top of her head was by far the corniest part, she had believed. The lyrics combined with the style and all, eheh.
The melody, sounded like a messed-up version of the Ice Cream Truck jingle—IF the jingle was screaming about blowjobs.
“If I die to this song, tell my mom I went out confused and mildly horny.”chevreuse chuckled between pants
“I’m gonna tell her it was your gym teacher’s fault.”Chiori had said in response
“Fair.” the purple-haired girl nodded
The female voice singing “PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!!!! MY MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH!!!” Sounded eerily cartoonishly sweet despite the downright vulgarity of the lyrics, it was as if it were a lollipop wrapped in pure sin, a stark contrast to the gruffness of the male’s part which lacked any much needed sugar coating.
It practically screamed rather than sang“SHE SAID PUT IT IN HER MOUTH!! I MEAN HER MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH!!”
The tone of the male rapper was graveled and beastly but also that of a chain smoker with how rough it was.
On occasion, teachers would pop their head through the door like a canary, eyes widened and mouth agape asking “What the hell is happening in here?!”
Once, Ajax or Childe or Tartaglia, it depended on what student you asked, in retortion had barked out “We’re putting it in our mouths, what does it look like?!” Much to the dismay of the gym teacher.
if it weren’t for the other one hundred and something students in the gym, the teacher probably would be back in jail or whatever circle of hell he crawled out from after that stunt.
It didn’t take the top student, Alhaitham to admit that all of this sounded like torture and it was.
It was and Chevreuse and Chiori were prepared just barely for just another day of it on this day.
They stood there, hand in hand, distorted by the fluorescent lights from above, faces cold as stone in a mix of fear and brace for whatever cruelty they would be subjected to today.
“Gosh why’s he wearing a cowboy hat today” Chiori’s nose crinkled, her voice a mere whisper in Chevreuse’s ear as she bore her eyes deep into every grotesque detail of their teacher
“..he’s in a festive mood, maybe?”She nervously giggled
“Ok, jackasses!! Today we’re gonna be teaching your young impressionable minds how to square dance!! I don’t know who’s ‘brilliant’ idea it was to make it part of the curriculum but you’re doing it and that’s all that matters or else..!!”The gym teacher exclaimed, extra sassiness being sprinkled on with the word ‘brilliant’, his voice clearly damaged by whatever the heck he was smoking outside and possibly probably inside of school
In almost perfect unison the two’s necks snapped towards each other, a muddled mess of disgust and pure terror settling in on their faces.
..if Chevreuse had to guess who put it in the curriculum, she would’ve assumed it was the gym teacher’s boss himself, the devil. Who else would wanna see teenagers awkwardly hold hands and dance to hillbilly music??
“What the fuck?!”Chiori had mouthed out
From seemingly nowhere, the gym teacher pulled out his reading glasses and clipboard and began to read out names, Chevreuse taking note of how every pair was of a boy and a girl and deepening her frown.
“Ok and before what any of you kids say, you get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit! This is a public school for archon’s sake don’t expect to get some sort of Ms.Hina or something as your dance partner!!” his stomach shook with every word he spoke
“Alright, Ayaka you can go with kinich, maulana you go with Zhongli, and yea!! I think I’m doing a pretty damn decent job playing Cupid here”
The petrified expression of shared horror Chiori and Chevreuse saw on the new “couple’s” faces was something they knew they couldn’t forget. At least after this, they’d be trauma-bonded probably.
For what felt like an eternity, the teacher called out names of either the most random people ever or the worst possible people together.
“Hmmm Chiori you can be with Heizou” At those words, the crimson eyed girl didn’t even try to hide her disgust, her eyes not even bothering to glance towards her dance partner as he walked towards her
The violet-eyed girl took a huge gulp and began to feel sweat drip down her forehead in anticipation of who she was gonna be paired with.
..
“Chevreuse you’re with Neuvilette” She sighed partial relief, she wasn’t the chummiest with him but at least she knew him
“Aw damn it!! There is an unequal amount of boys and girls in this class!! Kabuki, you’re with Benett”
“What?!Benett?!That boy?! I’d rather stick my dick in a meat grinder than dance with him!! also didn’t I say to call me, Scaramouche?!!”The indigo-haired boy barked out
“Well beggars can’t always be choosers, now go over there and put your hands on his waist, Edgelord!”The man growled back at him, earning some laughs from a certain ginger
“Shut up!”Scaramouche hollered, practically ripping out his hair, making the room go silent.
Soon enough after just a couple more moments of quiet awkwardness, every couple had been ordered to get into position, the sea of students forming two separate misshapen circles in the gymnasium.
“Alrighty!! Are you guys pumped to get down and dirty??”
“..please don’t word it like that” A more stoic student had said, his hair a bright vermillion pigment, Chevreuse had been sure she hadn’t heard his voice before despite his popularity
“Pfftttt!!!!Whatever!!” the gym teacher gave out a hearty laugh and without warning pressed a button on his comically large-sized boombox which cued the loudest most obnoxious southern music ever in the history of awkward shitty square dancing.
Everyone froze for a brief moment, all eyes on the gym teacher who had started to sway his hips to the jolly tune, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
“Come on, kids!! Dance your scrawny twig asses!!” he said, now suddenly having a southern accent as he did a little jig
In that brief moment, Chevreuse had locked eyes with Chiori from across the room as if mourning the loss of the love of her life to an arranged marriage like in those sappy novels she would read, Quickly looking away after that euphoric second of direct eye contact and turning their attention back to the coach.
“Oh!! I am NOT enjoying this at all” Chiori pretty much gagged, rose-colored eyes looking as if about to burst out of her head causing Chevreuse to giggle at how even teachers weren’t spared from her scorn if not more so subjected to it
Looking back at her partner, Chevreuse almost jumped back from just how intently Neuvilette was staring at her, and Chevreuse just now took into account just how tall he was…how the heck would this work out?!
“Would you do me the honor of this dance?”Neuvilette gave a slight bow as he offered his hand out, his expression, an inviting smile
But before the sheepish purple haired girl could answer, the gym teacher’s voice boomed possibly even louder than the music.
“Grab your partner round and round, smack them on the face, and make them drown!!”
“Are those even the right instructions?!!”Chevreuse murmured
“I do not know, but I can not hit a lady”Neuvilette flatly sighed
Chevreuse groaned as she raised her arm to hit him,physically recoiling as her finger tips made contact with his soft cheek.
her eyes once again drifted to Chiori who looked way too eager to be hitting her partner.
“Promenade!!Come on!! Do it!”The teacher cried out
And well…no one did cause they didn’t know what the hell “promenading” was cause what high schoolers willingly square dance…
Majority instead opted to stay frozenly still but Heizou didn’t, instead grabbing onto Chiori’s shoulders and taking the lead..wait a minute isn’t the dude supposed to be the one with hands on his shoulders?
“You keep on stepping on my feet,dumbass!!”The brunette had yelped at Heizou,who had now shed his flirty exterior and for what felt like the first time showed genuine horror, wincing slightly as Chiori gave a quick kick to the shins
“DANCE DAMN IT, DO IT!!! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU DO JUST DANCE!!”
The purple eyed girl scowled as everybody around them just took to do some type of choppy bodily motion, Childe, as most would call him, doing some type of pelvic thrust, a flush quickly spreading on her porcelain face at the action and looking away.
Next,Her gaze fell on Xiangling, the cooking club president, spinning like she’s in an audition for the role of the tornado itself in some type of crappy play about natural disasters, whilst Kaveh took to just flailing his lanky arms around.
Suddenly though, like a kitten, Chevreuse was taken and risen into the air by Neuvilette, earning an involuntary scream from her.
“What the hell?!”She shrieked, any attempt to make any more noise turning into a slurred babble, her limbs flailing around as if she were the itsy bitsy spider.
After a couple moments and chevreuse’s fighting dying down, Neuvilette had got Chevreuse up on his shoulders like he was her fucking dad.
The look in her eyes was that of a traumatized war veteran. No words were spoken but with just a look at her, you could tell that “this is ok” was the only sentence running through her head, a mantra meant not to convince anyone but herself.
Now given a better view, her observance wandered to Scaramouche who looked as though he was stuck in his own personal hell.
“Did I ever tell you about the time I sneezed so hard I peed on my science project? It was a volcano. It erupted twice."The white haired Bennett chimed, his arm intertwined with Scaramouche’s as they waltzed back and forth
“Shut up!!!”He roared in response
Then, it went to Chiori and Heizou who weren’t having a much better time.
"If you step on my foot one more time, I swear I will replace you with a broom and still get an A on this."she hissed, her eyes as sharp as knives
Sweating bullets, Heizou somehow managed to spit out a response
"...The broom probably dances better than me anyway."
"Straighten your spine. You look like a cooked shrimp with trauma."Circling him like a vulture, she commanded
"That’s fair. I am carrying generational shame."Heizou stuttered
"Your arms should float, not flail. This is square dancing not drowning."the girl with the spider lily colored eyes sneered
"I am drowning. In you."he emitted a dry humorless laugh that sounded like he was about to cry more than anything
Chiori’s expression became twisted in disgust and grasped his hands roughly as if she were handling a horse or something
"If we don’t land this lift, I will leave your corpse on the floor and do the routine with your ghost."
"Do ghosts have to do the splits…?"
Then back to her own situation.
Neuvilette was doing some sort of waddle?? Which usually Chevreuse would have laughed at but right now she was on the verge of falling off his shoulders with how wobbly everything felt, standing on him and all.
“My apologies, Chevreuse!!”He called out from below
Chevreuse didn’t respond.
Suddenly, the music paused and everyone came to a halt.
“what the hell was that?! Archons damn it! I’ve seen people without limbs who dance better than any of you punks!Let’s change up the formality and take it from the top!”The gym teacher dictated as he pressed another button and oh that god forsaken song came on.
“Put it in my mouth, she said put it in her mouth,My motherfucking mouth, I mean her motherfucking mouth!”Chevreuse and Chiori made direct eye contact once more and started laughing. Not a cute giggle or chuckle, full on belly-laughing.
“Chevreuse, refrain!! You’ll fall!” Neuvilette yipped
“Heed my warning!”
Chevreuse felt a particularly violent wobble and froze, causing Chiori to laugh even harder at her misery.
“I apologize once more, Chevreuse, the song at the current moment is not well suited to my dance skills, for I do not know how to put it in my mouth.”Neuvilette stated with just the smallest hint of sadness in his tone as he once again began to strut his stuff, still with Chevreuse standing on his shoulders like they were doing some sort of cheer routine for the B lue J aguars team(ehehhehehe BJs, get it? Cause the song?)
Dance skills..who the hell was teaching Neuvilette to do this shit?
“One time I had to sing this instead of ‘Happy Birthday’ at my cousin’s party because I forgot the words and panicked. She cried. I didn’t stop." Bennett shouted at Scaramouche
“Don’t talk to me!!”Scaramouche looked almost on the verge of tears as he twisted his hips to the nursery rhyme esque rhythm
And so all of that continued for the remainder of Gym Class til the music paused for just one last time.
“Ok!!You dirty little kids, now bow down to your partner and say ‘thank you for this dance’ or whatever the hell you say!!”The gym teacher belted
Finally, releasing Chevreuse from the air prison and onto the ground, the ivory haired male gave to her a polite curtsy
“Thank you for this dance”He said sweetly
“Yeah..yeah.. Y-you’re welcome..”She stumbled partially still, her words slurred
“Thank for this dance so much!!You’re the best partner ever, scara!”the green eyed white haired boy giggled
A wide ear to ear smile taking up almost half of his face as he looked at Scaramouche, expectant to be praised back
“I want a restraining order.”
"My aunt filed for one after her ex showed up to her work dressed as the Kool-Aid Man. He crashed through a wall. She still has PTSD whenever she hears ‘Ohhh yeah!’ Oh and one time I almost had to get one against a guy I met at a carnival because he kept calling me ‘his little corn dog’ in public. I’m still not emotionally okay”He exclaimed with unfathomable glee in his emerald green eyes
“You need therapy.”
“One time my cousin’s girlfriend made a life sized scarecrow that looked exactly like my cousin and put it in his passenger seat and called it ‘Jessica 2’, after that the judge gave him court mandated therapy.”
“..” at Scaramouche’s silence, Benett grinned even harder
“Thank you for this dance..”Heizou panted as if he had just finished running a 5k
Chiori scoffed and faced away from him
“Drop dead”she yawned and her eyes narrowed even more
And finally the bell rang, marking the very end of today’s torture for now until everything would start over again tomorrow.
The class left in complete silence, so quiet you might been able to have heard a pin drop.
After this there was probably at the least a 50% chance majority of these people would never be able to look eachother in the eye again.
“Come over after school?”Chiori asked, her gaze averted, her cheeks dusted a rosey pink, it was obvious her thoughts still lingered to what had happened within the gym
“Yea sure sure”Chevreuse mumbled, her own face covered in crimson flush
The whole day after that was a mess, students at every given chance would rant to anyone who would listen about the horror story that happened in gym, they practically had like witness and survivor testimonies and everything!!
It was hard to do your test about the history and geography of ancient Liyue when just mere moments ago you had to watch the person sitting across from you do pelvic thrusting for almost an hour straight or rehearse their live audition to be those wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man outside car dealerships.
Finally after that very long day, school was over and now lay on Chiori’s bed bed was Chiori and Chevreuse, a tangle of limbs intertwined with one another, Chiori’s head resting on Chevreuse’s stomach, giggling at all the squelching sounds being heard.
“What happened in gym class stays in gym class”Chevreuse sighed
“You do have to admit it was pretty hilarious seeing you all up on Neuvilette’s shoulders though”Chiori laughed, her eyes closed
“That was terrifying!! Haven’t been on a boat in a while now so I kind of forgot what the rock of it felt like but that experience made ALL of those memories rush back”Chevreuse yelped, her lips beginning to curl into a playful smile
“That still doesn’t make it less funny”the brunette opened her eyes to look at Chevreuse, smiling back at her
“You were practically abusing, Heizou!!”Chevreuse rebutted
“Pervs like him deserve it”She rolled her eyes, a light chuckle falling from her lips
“Oh and Scaramouche and Bennett!! They were one of the funnest parts to observe, I’ve barely spoken a single word to Bennett but I’m pretty I now know more about him than I do with certain members of my family!!”Chevreuse chimed
“I’m convinced that boys just a social experiment planted by the government”Chiori mumbled
“If anything the government’s probably hunting him down!! Get that boy back where he belongs in Area 51!”Chevreuse shouted
“Wait..”Chevreuse spoke
“What happened to me saying ‘what happens in gym class stays in gym class’?!! Oh you’ve done it now, Chiori!!”Chevreuse laughed as she positioned her torso straight up, and in a swift movement slammed Chiori onto the bed, hand beneath her head to cushion the fall, now leaning above her
Pausing for a moment she observed Chiori’s features. She was elegance stitched in silk and starlight, a whisper of grace in motion. Her eyes hold twilight's hush—soft amber secrets wrapped in calm. With every step, she sewed beauty into the air, and even silence bent to admire her.
Chevreuse craned her neck downwards and began to pepper Chiori’s neck and face with light kisses, each delicate touch feeling as though a butterfly had just landed on her. It felt as though Chevreuse was worshipping her.
“Hey! Hey! Stop it tickles!!”Chiori began to thrash around as involuntary giggles left her mouth
Pausing her shower of affection, Chevreuse looked up and smirked
“Nah, don’t feel like it” she grinned before going right back to her attack
“Chevreuse!!!!!!!”Chiori screamed out between laughs, the smile on her face practically being able to be heard
Chevreuse didn’t stop though. Not until Chiori was way too tired to even fight back or even laugh.
Getting off of her, Chevreuse cocked her head and gave a goofy lopsided smile
“Let’s practice so that tomorrow won’t be such a dunce.”She offered a hand to Chiori the same way Neuvilette had done to her, her other already searching for square dancing tutorials on YouTube
“Whatever you say…”Chiori took her hand and rose from the bed, anticipating whatever silly actions the video would tell them to do
After a brief watch of the first one that popped up, they looked to eachother and without words began.
A single glance shared between them, they begin to flush and Chevreuse gives the flirtatious lift of an eyebrow and in turn Chiori gifts the teasing twirl of a skirt, their hands hover for just a beat too long before they finally meet and electric warmth bursts into flames at every touch. Just briefly their fingers graze each other, just enough to feel callouses and warmth, and unspoken words told through skin.
From her phone’s microphone, A voice calls from the video,low and rhythmic, slicing through the air like a breath against the neck. Do-si-do, it murmurs, and suddenly they’re circling, backs brushing, hips almost grazing, the tension electric as they pass without quite touching—yet everything is felt.
the world becomes a blur of limbs and laughter, held close, spun out, reeled back in again. There’s a rhythm to it, a rising tempo that turns tradition into temptation. Chiori’s breath quickens then..it all ends.
“I think I liked that. When it was just us..”Chiori stammered, blushing feverishly
“Y-yea..”Chevreuse plopped down onto the bed
“A-are you ready for tomorrow?”Chiori pressed
“Yea”Chevreuse said
Chiori plopped down next to her and leaned into her embrace
“Let’s stay like this for a while”
“Mk”