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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-07-03
Completed:
2025-07-03
Words:
3,326
Chapters:
13/13
Comments:
16
Kudos:
55
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Letters I'll Never Send

Summary:

Ten letters Bojan writes to Jere, not meant to be read.
One letter Jere writes to Bojan, that he needs Bojan to read.

Notes:

These started out as writing exercises on Tumblr. I wanted to see if I could do something that would pack a lot of emotion into as few words as possible.
Thank you to everyone that has supported me on Tumblr.
And thank you once more to my darling tilhi. I told you, you inspired this.

Chapter 1: I've decided to start writing you letters

Chapter Text

Letter

Letter

Jere

I've decided to start writing you letters. I don't think I'll ever send a single one of these. I don't think I'll ever have the courage. But I need to get these words out, process them and write them down, so...

I thought about writing you a song. Songs. Songs about you. But I don't think I'm ready to be seen like that, by the guys. I mean, I think they know... But I'm not ready for us all to know what we know. You know?

But if I’m honest, you’re already in so many of my songs. Did you know that?

I hope you had a good midsummer. It looked like it, on your social media. And in the photos you sent me.

You said you wished I was there. Part of me wishes for that too. The part of me that imagines you and me together, always. The part that already lives a life in love with you, the part that in some other world found it in himself to confess. That part wishes I was there, laughing and dancing with you. Kissing you as we watch the sunset.

Another part of me is glad I'm not there. It's the part of me that knows we'll never be the way I wish we could be. That part needs space, needs time away from you. That part needs to heal in between every time I see you.

That part would have spent the night throwing glances your way, hoping no-one would notice. That part would have eventually inched his way closer to you. Too close. That part would have tortured me by finding reasons to hug you, to pull you close. That part would have inhaled your scent and remembered it later, alone in bed.

We don't celebrate midsummer here the way you do. I didn't have a special weekend like that. But this time a year from now I will. I want to share it with you.

There are so many things I want to share with you.

Can I? Should I?

A year from now I want to have clarity. A year from now I want to look at you and I want the different parts of me to have become one. A year from now I want to either have you or be over you.

Which one do you think it will be?

I feel safe asking you that here. You'll never read this.

Bojan