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After acquiring the take-away Chinese food, Sirius was on his way to Remus' small London apartment. Having decided to walk, he immediately regretted it when the downpour started, making a beeline for a small alley from where, after double checking that no Muggle was on sight, he apparated at the apartment’s front door. He cast a quick drying spell on his robes, taking special care not to dry his hair. Remus loved Sirius' curly hair when it was wet and the curls transformed into a mess of waves of such a dark black that it appeared blue.
They had just seen each other some hours before. Following their usual dance, Sirius had left Remus’ bed around 8 am, after they had gotten back from the Ministry’s transformation cells, ignoring the prickling brown-eyed colour gaze that followed his every move and step while pulling his clothes and letting himself out of the apartment. Still, Sirius couldn't wait to spend more time with Remus, and couldn’t help but hope that the wet hair would be enough to grant an overnight stay, which became nonexistent after they got back together. To be fair, Sirius wasn’t a hundred per cent sure that he and Remus were back together , but they both failed to move on after the war and agreed that they didn't want anyone else but the other, even if they hadn’t been able to achieve the lifestyle of a fully committed relationship. They were getting there. James and Lily supported them, even if they didn't understand, and his mind healer said that he had to give Remus space without deprecating himself, that time would pass, love would win, and trauma would relent. Sirius couldn’t wait for time to pass.
Sirius couldn’t help but think, as he entered the living room, that maybe it was a good thing that that night he decided not to stay, because he didn’t think that he could have taken Remus’ numb expression more than he was having to bear it at the moment. Remus looked as though he was miles away, something broke behind his shineless eyes. His face was completely devoid of any emotion, and his gaze was unfocused. Remus didn’t react when Sirius cautiously approached him, nor did he react when he spoke his name softly or when he decided to put the half-eaten breakfast in front of Remus in the fridge. He just kept looking outside the small bedroom window that could be seen through the open door.
Trying not to panic, Sirius left the takeaway on the counter and tried getting a reaction out of Remus again, slowly approaching him. His eyes found the culprit of his lover's dismay: the latest edition of the Daily Prophet. The gasp that left Sirius was unavoidable as he read the headline of the article the paper was open to.
“Fenrir Greyback is dead: new werewolf attack ends with pack leader dead and a young girl victim”
Maybe it was Sirius’s gasp or the fact that he unconsciously reached for Remus’ shoulder and gripped, but at that moment Remus’s head shook, his gaze focused again, and he let a breath go. His eyes roamed around the room, trying to understand what had happened, and as the clock marked noon, he became aware that he had just spent the last 4 hours spaced out. Avoiding the cause of his despair, he tilted his head back, resting it softly against Sirius' abdomen, whose eyes were fastly taking in all the information in the article.
When Sirius finished reading the article for the second time, he lowered his gaze to find Remus quietly studying him, trying to find comfort in the proximity and waiting for his reaction. It was strange for Sirius to find himself out of words; he usually had a smart comeback to give, or a deep take on a subject, or a new perspective, or the sentimental answer that one wanted to hear, but at that moment, he found himself completely out of words. He could just look at Remus’ eyes and try not to be overwhelmed by the sentiments of the other.
“I had forgiven him, I always thought that his death would be liberating,” said Remus in a voice so quiet and fragile that Sirius could not bring himself to give him a comeback and break the static. Remus turned his gaze back to the bedroom windows. “But they killed him like a dog”.
Sirius had to turn his gaze away from Remus, feeling like an intruder while seeing his lover’s confused emotions battling for a definite sentiment, whether it be anger or sadness. Instead, he turned to the paper, scanning the text briefly and stopping at the images. There were three. One showed the destroyed house, with the windows broken and the door bulldozed, the walls scraped, and the left side of the roof blasted, with smoke slowly fuming out of it. Then followed the horrendous image of the werewolves bodies scattered along the floor in the background, serving as an horror setting for the main focus of the moving picture: a group of Aurors proudly inspecting Greyback’s corpse, with the Head Auror titling the beasts head with his foot, a mocking expression in his face. Lastly, Sirius catches sight of the last picture, one that he tried to ignore while reading the article, where a little girl, covered in blood and scraped clothes, was being lifelessly carried by a healer fully covered in a special suit for infectious diseases.
That day they ate in silence, and that night Sirius decided to stay, and Remus didn’t object, being in his lover's arms was the maximum comfort he could get. Despite that, his eyes stayed fixed on his bedroom windows, and under the moonlight, he found that sleep eluded him. His mind travelled miles away, to a small isolated room in Saint Mungo's Special Treatments Wing.
***
Around 7:30, Sirius woke up to find himself alone in Remus’ bed. He wobbly paddled his way to the kitchen, where he found Remus sipping his newly brewed tea, definitely too sweet and too hot. The redness of Remus' eyes confirmed that he didn’t sleep at all that night, but that didn’t stop him from slowly approaching Sirius when he entered the room and dropping a small kiss on his forehead. “I made you coffee,” he said softly, proceeding to go back to the counter and putting the beverage in the Gryffindor-themed mug that they stole from James. Remus felt arms around his waist and a kiss being tenderly placed at the base of his neck, followed by a chin resting on his shoulder. He let his breath out, rested his head against Sirius’s one, and relaxed, letting the other hold his weight. “Thanks for staying the night.” This time, Remus’ words came out so quietly that he worried that Sirius wouldn't have heard him if they weren’t literally pressed against each other. A squeeze around his waist was his response, and Remus had to contain a small whine. He also had to contain the tears in his eyes, the anger within himself of why he wasn’t able to have this every single morning.
The morning after the nights that Sirius stayed, or that Remus stayed at the Potter’s with Sirius, the sadness came in overwhelming waves throughout the morning, followed by the anger towards himself. He was angry that he got so stuck in the past that he made the relationship so tentative. They loved each other for Merlin’s sake, but why couldn’t they just go back to how life was before the war? But Remus knew that there was no going back to how life was before. Even if the years had passed, he and Sirius were scattered for life and had to learn to live with the other scars. It wasn’t easy, but they tried being separated, and the pain they felt was unbearable. Now the only unbearable things were the morning-afters, whether together or alone, the memory of the other and the past crushed them. But like Sirius’ mind healer said, they continued walking at their own pace.
One of the arms around his waist reached for the mug on the counter, and the other softly guided him towards the sofa in the living room. Sirius took hold of yesterday's newspaper and displayed the crosswords, quietly enchanting a ballpoint pen that started filling in the blanks as he and Remus said the words aloud. Their peace was interrupted by an owl hooting in the windows.
If that night Sirius hadn’t decided to stay, he would not have seen the way Remus’ face fell when he got the Daily Prophet. The brunette stayed there, next to the windows, reading one of the headers on the front page, his features slowly filling with a complicated mix of emotions that was too much but also too close to numbness. Seeing this, Sirius incorporated himself going to stand up, but Remus approached the sofa and simply sat down next to him, passing the newspaper to Sirius and letting his head fall back to the headrest.
“Werewolf-attack victim infected: the ministry is studying the best procedure for the 7-year-old werewolf”
The front page read in big capital letters, followed by a picture taken from outside a hospital door’s window, where a little girl could be seen inside. The article didn’t skimp over any of the gruesome details about the state of the child, nor over the circumstances that led to this situation. Neither did it skip on the variety of options that the Ministry had discussed, citing quotes from multiple Ministry and Wizengamot officials. One Lucius Malfoy, alongside other conservatives, asked for the execution of the child, whom they no longer addressed as anything more than a beast, and painted it as an act of misery and bravery. With a more progressive approach, the Head of the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures proposed to keep the girl as an experiment, allowing for a test subject in advance to find the cure lycanthropy. At the bottom of the article, one could find Albus Dumbledore’s statement, by far the most progressive of any of the ideas proposed: “We should allow this case to teach us about werewolves; therefore, we should allow this girl to be a child” , said the Hogwarts Headmaster.
When Sirius finished reading the article, he brought Remus closer to him, allowing the other man to curl against him. “She’s just a kid,” murmured the werewolf, barely containing his tears. “You were just a kid,” confronted Sirius, lowering his gaze to find Remus’ tearful eyes. They stayed quiet for a while.
“Is she going to be alright?” Remus asked. He sometimes had this habit of thinking that Sirius held the truth of the world in his hands and that he could answer any questions. Sirius tended to indulge him, trying to keep this fantasy by providing as many answers as his knowledge allowed, and fabricating those that he didn’t know but was too prideful to forgo, but for the first time since the war, he found himself unable to lie to Remus, “I don’t know, love,” he answered in a pained voice. He held Remus there while he cried, and then put the man in his lap to rock him to sleep.
***
Remus woke up on the couch, alone and covered by a weighted blanket that had been charmed to keep Sirius’ exact body temperature. Groggily, he rubbed his eyes, willing them to focus, and finding a wonderful food spread in front of him out under a stasis charm. There also lay a piece of paper tinted with Sirius's aristocratic handwriting. “Sorry that I left! Promised Harry to take him to the zoo this afternoon (you know how much he loves penguins), cook something, see u tomorrow after work. Yours, S.O.B” read the note.
After breaking the stasis charm, he started feeding on the fuming chicken soup, Effie’s recipe and one of the only foods that Sirius managed to accomplish with astounding results. The soup felt like a warm hug, and while eating it, Remus couldn’t help but start getting teary-eyed. He loved that man so much, but the war had been too much. Not trusting each other had broken them beyond repair, and they tried separating, but the pain and the memories were too strong. He remembers the panic attack he had when someone propositioned Sirius in one of their weekly nights out in Muggle London, and he agreed to go home with the other. He also remembered how the next day Sirius couldn’t leave his side. They got better, slowly, and got to this stand-by point where they were together, but still weren’t prepared to go back to their relationship. Sirius insisted that they needed to try, but Remus was too stuck on his fears. He was still adjusting to being a known werewolf and everything that it entailed, to being rejected from the wizarding world, but still keeping his ties to it. It was confusing, seeing his friends in their wizarding jobs while he tried to make a living by working in Ms. Dollows’ haberdashery. He had been working there for the best part of the last three years, and still hadn’t wrapped his head around the fact that he hadn’t been fired after a couple of monthly leaves.
Having finished the soup, Remus decided to store the leftovers in the fridge; he had lost his appetite as it used to happen when Sirius left. Turning around, he found the newspaper neatly folded by the crossword page on top of the kitchen table. He picked it up again and went back to the sofa, opening the paper with the little girl’s article.
Sirius had been right: he had also been just a boy. But contrary to this girl, his parents weren’t killed in the attack, and they didn’t abandon him. They kept him a secret, which meant an unsteady life as a kid, yes, but it also meant that he had the opportunity to attend Hogwarts. He hadn’t been put under public scrutiny, nor had he been locked away in a medical room, and no one had been too afraid to approach.
He had feared rejection all his life, but he had only started living it during the war, when friends became enemies and suddenly the packs meant family, and there was a spy and the Order pointed him out. He also remembered the first time he felt anger at the rejection, when after all the sacrifices that the Order members made for the war, only him was denied the Order of Merlin, the Minister too afraid that if word came out that a werewolf had been awarded such a wizard award, outrage would brake. He had been right to no one's surprise: a year later, Severus Snape disclosed his werewolf condition, and Remus was fired from his newly acquired position of DADA teacher. Lucky for him, his friends and Dumbledore argued that he had been a key element to winning the war, and he had been allowed to keep the reparation’s payment promised to all the Order members.
That night, Remus went to his bed alone, stared out the windows for what felt like hours, and finally managed to fall asleep. That night, an 7-year-old werewolf stayed in his mind the whole time.
***
The next day’s edition of the Daily Prophet included an opinion article by Rita Skeeter:
“Nature vs. Nurture: our final chance to answer the long-asked question about werewolves”
“After the incidents of these last days, answers are required, writes Rita Skeeter. We ought to know as wizards of this country what the Ministry decides for the fate of the little girl, if she can still be addressed as such, has she not yet been consumed by the creature, and what measures are to be enforced. Despite the lower number of attacks in the last years, and the low number of sightings of werewolves, the wizarding society has yet again fallen victim to the wrongdoings of the dark creatures, who’s latest attack has had one of the best and most horrible outcomes that could be expected: on one hand, known werewolf and ex-death eater Fenrir Greyback has been finally neutralized; on the other, we find in our hands a new victim to this atrocious condition.
Eilidh Fiddlewood, age 8, only daughter of the Fiddlewood family and third of five children of Davie and Dixie Fiddlewood, was the sole survivor of the brutal attack, receiving, perhaps, a fate worse than death. The Fiddlewood family, long known as a half-blood family closely tied to the old traditions, held a promising future for this girl: it was said that she showed promising signs of accidental magic and that she was to be a great successor to her older brothers good endeavours in Hogwarts, both had been prefects for their respective houses and the oldest had accomplished the Head Boy position. Both boys had been following their parents' path, the oldest had been enrolled in the Ministry, while the second oldest had followed his mother into the Aurors troops at the time of their death.
Seeing her family history, this author asks how tainted Eilidh’s future is going to be, and if she should be allowed to follow in her parents' steps and pursue a dignified life in the wizarding world. Just today, a collective signed letter from theParents for a Better Hogwarts has arrived asking for this kid not to be sent to Hogwarts, like it had been done with one Remus J. Lupin years ago. This has put pressure on Albus Dumbledore’s back, as the Headmaster of Hogwarts came forward in support of the young girl.
On a more realistic solution, Mr. Polliwog, Head of the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, proposed to keep the young werewolf as a source of knowledge, pleading that a domesticated werewolf could serve as a step forward to the eradication of these creatures. This author wants to note that Mr. Polliwog held a drastically contrarian opinion to Mr. Fiddlewookd, who had been the Director of the Werewolf Registry at the time of his death, which didn’t stop them from holding a cordial work relationship. Mr. Polliwog's proposal may lack form, but this author agrees that it would serve as a possible answer to one of the most controversial debates in the matter: are werewolves genetically predisposed to a vicious behaviour?
This debate, long closed with an affirmative answer centuries ago, has resurfaced alongside Mr. Lupin’s case, with the testimonies of dozens of his Hogwarts colleagues testifying that at no point did anyone suspect Mr.Lupin’s identity, nor did his behaviour indicate so. In light of recent events, shouldn’t we, as wizards and witches, want to close the debate once presented with the perfect conditions?"
Once he finished reading the whole article, he couldn’t help but feel surprised at Skeeter’s approach. While displaying the girl as merely nothing more than a beast with an important heritage, she advocated, or at least seemed to do so, for giving the girl a chance to live, even if only as an experiment. Remus also found it excruciating to be reading his name again in the newspaper, but for the first time, thought that maybe being outed did result in something useful, if people like Skeeter were willing to address the longstanding debate.
His mind kept being pulled towards the girl. None of the articles related specifically to her well-being, but all of them said that she had survived. She was probably still kept under some comatose charm until she fully healed, but Remus was sceptical of St. Mungo’s knowledge of werewolf treatment. He thought about what would happen after she woke up, about how she would have to deal with everything by herself and face a world that wanted her jailed and studied at best and dead at worst. He thought about him, about what he would have done if his father and mother didn't come rushing into the room when they heard him scream, or what would have been of his life if they didn’t insist on keeping him unregistered. He thought of his mother, who passed away in his last year of Hogwarts and how she always wanted him to live, to be happy, to find people that cared for him, and to find people he cared for. Unconsciously, his mind travelled to one of the biggest wishes of her mother: how she wanted to have grandchildren.
It was that thought that put a stop to his agitated mind.
Lyall had said that he had noted differences in raising a werewolf kid and raising a human kid, but that it mainly felt as impotence and ignorance towards the situation. There were no records of kid-aged werewolves that survived past the first year, nor were there extensive records of werewolf packs and how they helped with transformations. But what if… what if records weren’t needed? What if someone with the experience did it?
At that moment, Remus' brain started working again.
***
He was getting back home after having a long day at work, and he just couldn’t wait to play with Harry, who lately enjoyed flying on his broom a little too much for his father’s taste. Sirius lived with James and Lily in Godric Hollow, where he had been given a room of his own since the end of the war. Even if the reasoning behind these decisions was the constant need to keep in contact and being assured that everyone is fine, he adored living with James and Lily, both of them making him feel like another member of their little family, and Harry! He completely adored Harry, and now that he was on his way to being 9 years old, Sirius just wanted to spend as much time as possible with his godson before he went to Hogwarts, or he decided that he was too cool for affection from grown-ups.
As he entered the foyer, he could hear multiple voices coming from the kitchen. He was met with the image of a happy Harry colouring in the island, with Lily next to him, seated on top of the counter, hearing Remus' rapid explanation about Merlin knows what while he was finishing the hot chocolates. At the sound of new footsteps, Harry’s head sprang up like a dog, and in no time, Sirius had a mess of black curls jumping onto him.
“Uncle Padfoot!” shouted Harry way too close to his ear, as if they hadn’t seen each other that same morning, “I was colouring the new Nimbus model because Mss. Grace told me to paint to help calm down, but now I was getting bored because Mommy and Uncle Moony kept talking about boring subjects, and I’m so glad you are here, and do you want to go play Quidditch?!” Harry kept shouting unfinished sentences one on top of the other, seemingly trying to beat himself at getting Sirius’ attention. Such a showcase of affection ought to have caught the attention of his friends.
“Well, look who decided to show up? Harry’s personal Lord and Saviour,” laughed Lily, seeing her son sprint around his favourite person. Sirius chuckled and approached the island counter, leaving a soft peck on Lily’s cheek. “Hello to you, Evans”, he said, as if he hadn't had breakfast with her.
He turned around, towards the other side of the aisle, crossing stares with deep-brown eyes. “Hello, Moony,” said Sirius in the sweetest voice. He cautiously left a peck on Remus' lips, but when he received no response, he took a step back to inspect his lover’s face.
Remus had an anxious expression on his face, with his eyes downcast as if avoiding Sirius’s. The only movement he made was to take hold of the other’s shirt hem, signalling that he didn’t want him to leave. Lily jumped from the counter and made her way to the living room, taking Harry with her after persuading him with some chocolate frogs to let his uncles talk. Once left alone, in the quiet of the room, but being held so that he couldn’t move, Sirius decided to softly touch his lover's face and bring his eyes up.
“Remus, love, what happened?” said Sirius in the softest voice. He hadn’t seen Remus for the last couple of days since he left him asleep on the couch. He had expected a response that afternoon, but between overthinking everything and work, Remus Lupin hadn’t had time to meet him. As a reaction, Remus directed Sirius to sit down and placed one of his hot chocolates in front of him, cautiously taking the place next to him, wrapping his hands around his mug. He kept worrying his lip under Sirius' scrutinising gaze and frantically shaking his knee. Sirius waited while sipping some of the chocolate, looking intensely into Remus' eyes, trying to catch the other’s.
“Love, I need to know that you are okay. I’m starting to get worried,” said Sirius in a nervous voice. He had a hard time dealing with Remus's tendencies to self-reflection and bottling everything inside after the war, on top of his nearly paranoid need to check on Remus, Lily and James daily.
“Iwanttoadoptthelittlegirl” nearly shouted Remus in a scramble of words that made it hard for Sirius to make sense.
“Moony, love, can you repeat that slowly?” urged Sirius, trying to see if he understood correctly.
“Sirius, I want to take the little girl,” repeated Remus, in a nervous tone. When he didn’t immediately get an answer, his mind started to race, and his rambling started increasing “I need to take her Sirius, I cannot let her go through whatever the Ministry wants to put her through, I’ve read the articles and- and she is just a kid and the best that they are offering is a life as an experiment, and the others want her executed!” he started tearing up, and his hands were flying all over the place, trying to make sense of the arguments in his head. “I- I know I’m not the best at relationships, but… but I’m the only one that can do this…” argued Remus out of breath, then softly he added, “Sirius, is the only thing that I can do…”.
A couple of minutes passed, Sirius was still astonished at what Remus told him, and Remus became more nervous every minute without an answer.
“Sirius, I know that this is not what you wanted, I know we are not there yet, but can you answer me, please?” This time, Remus softly touched Sirius's cheek, trying to be brave and meeting the others' eyes.
“Remus…” Sirius was still completely lost, but seeing Remus' quiet tears and feeling the soft touch on his cheek.
“I need you”.
That silenced Sirius. Shocked, he quickly looked into the other’s eyes, going from one to the other and trying to see the truth in them.
“I need you to be by my side, but I understand if you don’t want the kid.” Remus was very nervous about the next part. “But at least I need you to pretend that you want them in front of the Ministry,” he finished. This was the part that Remus feared the most. He and Sirius had managed to be together in this strange limbo of a relationship for the past five years, making amends along the way and building up boundaries for the other to respect. Despite Sirius’s insistence, Remus felt like he wasn’t ready to live together again, not wanting to ostracise Sirius from the wizarding world by associating himself with a known werewolf. It was already bad that James, Lily and he, along with other Order members, were already questioned for keeping contact with a werewolf; Remus didn’t want to be the reason for Sirius' alienation from his world. And now he was breaking all of the boundaries; now he was asking that Sirius put his boundaries aside to satisfy his latest desire. Remus felt tears falling. He felt the remorse of putting his relationship, his whole world, in jeopardy, crashing with the deep knowledge that his purpose was to make sure that the young girl lived as best as she could. Remus had been drifting after the war, and after being outed, his friends noticed and were preoccupied, but the only thing that kept him going was Sirius. Now, he had found a new purpose, and he needed to balance both of his life’s motivations without dropping or hurting the other.
Sirius let out a deep breath, and Remus tensed with it. “You need me as an alibi,” said the dark-haired man slowly. “No, I need you. I want you. But I also want this, and I need your help with it, at least for getting the permission,” clarified Remus, this time in a more confident tone. “Love, you have been my only purpose these last years,” Sirius tensed at that, he didn’t like to be reminded of Remus' emotional state, but Remus kept pushing the conversation, “but this girl… I can’t help but feel like I’m the only person fit to help her, and if I can’t do this for her, I don’t know how I will be able to continue with my life knowing that I let her go through what my parents and Dumbeldore fought to keep me away from.” Remus couldn’t bear the love that was overflowing from Sirius, so he lowered his gaze to their intertwined hands.
“Remus,” caringly, Sirius held Remus’ face in his hands, the werewolf rubbing against the soft hand in his cheek, meeting his eyes. “I know this is faster than we were expecting it, but I want to help you. I want to help that little girl, and I want to make sure both of you are safe,” Remus' gaze brewed with so much admiration that Sirius had to keep going unless he wanted to get lost in the deep-brown eyes looking into his soul. “Tell me what you planned, I imagine that’s what you and Lils were talking about?” he asked, trying to wrap his head around becoming a parent.
***
The cottage that Lyall lived in still held the feeling of Hope walking around the house. Her garden was carefully taken care of by the dutiful hands of her husband, and the rooms still held the memories of the happy family that had lived there. When Lyall was asked by a desperate Remus to switch houses, he hadn’t been enthusiastic about moving into Muggle London after so many years, but when he learned his son’s motives, he couldn’t pack fast enough.
He made sure that everything was ready to accommodate the new family, and after leaving some extensive instructions on how to tend the garden, he left once his son promised to introduce him to the new member of the family as soon as possible. Lyall could barely hold his tears while Remus explained that he and Sirius decided to adopt the little girl from the papers, and that thanks to Dumbledore’s help, Remus’ perfect record, and Sirius’ family name, they managed to get Ministry approval to be the guardians of the youngling. He was impatient to meet his granddaughter.
In his new flat in Muggle London, he patiently waited for news of his son and son-in-law, so when a majestic tawny owl started knocking on the small kitchen windows, Lyall scrambled to get hold of the note in its foot.
“Dear Mr. Lupin,” started the note in the unmistakable Sirius’ handwriting, “Albus Dumbledore has just left, Eilidh is already home. I’ll make sure Remus writes to you tomorrow, but he is busy fussing over the girl. Love, your favourite son-in-law.”
***
In the new Lupin-Black household, one Remus Lupin was impatiently pacing around the living room, while his lover stared at him, slightly amused, from the couch in front of the fireplace. They had spent the whole day preparing the house for the newcomer, filling the fridge with fresh food and checking all the wards that the Ministry had demanded, as well as reinforcing the safety measures of the basement.
The fireplace turned green, roaring, imposing flames that parted to welcome the visitors. Albus Dumbledore stood in the middle of the room, with a bag in one hand and a small child in the other. The girl, EIlidh, had deep brown hair that fell up to her shoulders in a rough cut, with multiple uneven parts that fell to half-cover her dark-green eyes. Her face was round in a childlike way and covered in freckles. Her clothes, way too big on her, consisted of a huge Chudley Cannons shirt that fell on one side down her shoulders, from where under it appeared multiple bandages that covered her arms and neck. The girl couldn’t stop looking around the house, but her eyes quickly fixed on both of the occupants, jumping from one to the other.
Remus stopped pacing the moment the fireplace started to diverge from the usual orange colour, and looked anxiously at the two silhouettes appearing. When the girl emerged from the flames, his eyes couldn’t leave her, being fixated on the poor thing. It was Sirius's appearance behind his back that returned him to the present. “Lovely to see that you could make it in time, Professor,” said Sirius, sarcastically addressing the elder. “I am also pleased to see both of you, Mr. Black, Ms. Fiddlewood, and I have been sadly detained by a mass of reporters, it turns out that news flies whether they got help or not,” answered the professor. Silence fell on the room as both men waited for Remus to gather his thoughts.
“Hi Eilidh, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” saluted Remus, addressing the young girl. “I’m Remus Lupin, and this is my partner Sirius Black.” he had barely finished the sentence when the girl started talking.
“You are the werewolf.” Loud and clear, the words created a static energy that paralysed the whole room. While Sirius seemed taken aback with the first words that came out of the girl’s mouth, Remus had a soft smile on his face, though his eyes denoted some nervousness. “Indeed, I am,” calmly responded the werewolf. Eilidh didn’t move, but her little hand took hold of Dumbeldore’s purple robes, a weary expression on her face. At that, Remus' stance changed a bit, putting a bit of distance between him and the pair. “Sit down, please,” he instructed the pair to sit on the sofa, also shooting a look at Sirius so that he would sit on one of the armchairs. “Hot chocolate is good? Professor, do you prefer some tea?”Albus nodded with a small smile.
Remus returned with a cup of hot chocolate and three cups of tea in a wooden tray, with some butter shortbread biscuits in the middle. He served the chocolate to the young girl as the other two men took their tea, and once he was eye level with her, he took out a chocolate frog. Eilidh’s eyes shone with excitement and quickly took the sweet treat, looking up at Remus' eyes once she had it in her hands. Remus simply sent a small wink and went to sit down on the opposite armchair that Sirius was in.
“Ms. Fiddlewood, this are Remus and Sirius, both of them were dear students of mine some years ago,” he paused to sip at his tea, “both of them were also members of the Order during the war, they are intimate friends of the Potter’s,” Eilidh kept looking at Remus while Dumbledore was talking. “They asked to take care of you, and the Ministry agreed,” continued the professor.
“We had to make some adjustments to appease them, but for the moment we are allowed to spend the time freely in the cottage’s grounds and the village, but during the transformations we must stay here,” clarified Remus. At the mention of the transformations, Eilidh started to shake a bit, and her gaze became hard. “We still have three weeks before the next transformation, so we’ll talk about all the adjustments later,” quickly added Remus.
“Eilidh,” called Sirius from the other armchair, “it is important that you are alright with being here, have the Ministry explained everything?” he asked softly.
The girl looked down at her lap, her hands clutching around the chocolate frog, as she murmured something. “I’m sorry, love, could you repeat that?” asked Remus in a tender voice. “They didn’t speak to me,” said Eilidh with a hard voice. Remus’ lips stretched in a fine line, and his eyes went hard, his features angry. He turned to Albus, “We agreed that she would only come here if she wanted,” said Remus angrily. The older man made a small nod with his head, and after a sip of his cup, he proceeded to explain, “I’m sorry, Mr. Lupin, but the Ministry did not offer any type of explanation when I got there; they simply delivered the girl with a list of instructions.”
Remus was so taken aback by the news that he startled when a small hand touched his arm. “Please, don’t bring me back there,” quietly implored Eilidh, her eyes shining and her chin trembling. Remus' heart squeezed, as he slowly raised his hands and took Eilidh’s. “Cariad, you are not going back unless you want to,” Remus made sure to stress every single word, he needed for her to understand that they would do whatever she wanted, “you have a home here, and we would love for you to stay, but we also need to know that you want this,” he finished. Eilidh’s chin stopped wobbling, but her eyes shone with unshed tears as she nodded with her head.
“We have prepared a room for you and we have also connected the floo network to the professor’s office and the Potters’ house. We’ll go meet them tomorrow if you want, and tonight you can get to know me and Remus, we’ll gladly answer any questions you may ask,” assured Sirius. Remus couldn’t be happier to have Sirius by his side. He was extremely good with kids, and he had a deep knowledge of the kids’ feelings of safety, even if the circumstances of how he acquired them were less than good.
After talking some more, Professor Dumbledore parted, leaving behind the new family. Before that, he also assured the girl that she could contact him whenever she felt like it, and the same with the Potters.
After the flames turned orange again, Sirius and Remus exchanged quick glances to see who was starting the conversation, when all of a sudden, the grumbling coming from the young girl stopped everything. Eilidh had turned red as a tomato and was intensely glancing at her hands, toying with the “Lily Evans - Order Member” chocolate frog card.
“Do you want to have dinner?” quickly asked Remus, starting to rise once the young girl nodded. “Come, I’ll show you the kitchen and we can start heating the food.” He said with a soft smile, offering his hand to the girl.
Remus never had a strong sentiment towards kids. Sure, he adored Harry and Neville, and he actually liked being a tutor back in Hogwarts, but he never thought that he would be taking care of one, but when the small hand of Eilidh closed around his, he felt such a strong sense of protection towards her that he couldn’t help but squeeze her hand. When she squeezed back, with a soft smile on her face, he swore that he could cry from joy.
He had been extremely nervous about meeting Eilidh. The weeks after he had been beaten, all of his fears were darkened by glowing eyes in his room and howls following him everywhere; he had been more scared of werewolves than he ever had been. Hence why he needed to make sure that Eilidh wanted to move in with them, he didn't want to remind her of Greyback. Turns out that the difference between her and him was that she had also met a stronger fear than a rabid werewolf: the Ministry.
Remus couldn’t begin to imagine how scared and alone she must have felt there. From what they had talked with the Secretary of the Werewolf Registry, the young girl had been isolated in Saint Mungos and put under a sleeping charm every time she had to be treated, and once the thread of death ended, Eilidh had been quickly moved to one of the transformation cells in the Ministry. The interrogatory for the trial had been made taking all the precautions, but they hadn't been told what they were, and Remus got a pretty good idea. It had been hard to persuade the Minister of Magic and the Secretary of the werewolves regulations. Still, with the help of Dumbledore and the full commitment of cooperation on Remus's behalf, they had achieved what they thought would be impossible: full custody of the kid and allowance to spend the first years of transformations in the perimeter of the cottage. Sirius assured that he had nothing to do with it, but the scared glances that he was receiving from the Secretary told a different story.
Once they got to the kitchen, Remus lifted Eilidh to the counter, and turned around to start heating up the food on the stove.
“Why don’t you use a heating charm?” asked the soft voice of Eilidh, that with every minute that passed was gaining strength. “I like to cook, and I prefer how the food tastes when I heat it with the stove,” seeing her confused look, Remus continued, “You see, my mom was a muggle, this was actually her house, and she taught me to cook. I’m terrible at potions, but pretty good with a stove,” he said cheekly, throwing a wink at the girl, who giggled.
“So you are a half-blood?” Remus hummed positively, “My granny was a muggle, but my mother always said that it was a special case and that I shouldn’t do like my grandpa and I should marry a wizard, but I loved granny!” she continued rambling, unaware that Remus was having trouble concentrating after hearing those words. Turns out that the Fiddlewoods were a bit old school in that sense. It wasn’t a mystery that some of the pure-blood families still held those beliefs, but he thought that those wizarding families with some Muggle heritage in them would have changed their discourse.
“That is some wrong opinion if I ever heard one,” said Sirius, smiling. He had appeared at the door and was quietly watching Remus interact with the girl. “There’s nothing wrong with muggles, Eilidh. In fact, Hope, Remus’ mom, was the sweetest and bravest woman I’ve known, and she didn’t have magic!” he continued explaining, his cheerful tone mesmerising Eilidh. Remus turned back to the stove and let himself fall under the spell of Sirius’ voice. He loved seeing him interact with Harry, and he couldn't wait to see him with Eilidh, having zero doubts that the kid was going to love him and his jovial demeanour.
An explosion of affection for his partner exploded in Remus when he heard Eilidh openly laugh at Sirius' story, and couldn’t help but return to his biggest question: what had he done to deserve Sirius? He still couldn’t wrap his head around the amount of love that Sirius had for him, feeling inadequate for that type of affection coming from anyone, but especially Sirius. Sirius, who was literally the brightest star, was caring with everyone and great with kids, who was brilliant and had an amazing future as a cursebreaker. He tried not to dwell on those discussions with himself, he really did, but he always went back to the feeling that he was ruining Sirius’ life by being in it. It didn’t escape him how the Minister disapprovingly looked at the Black Heir and asked if he was sure about taking Remus as his partner and the young girl as his protégée.
Remus shook his head, trying to keep those feelings away. He had decided after the war that he would fight for Sirius, and even if he was scared with every battle with himself to keep him, and sure that one day Sirius would see him and the life they had and understand that he could have something better, he wanted to keep Sirius for as long as possible. He wanted to share every breath he could with him and try to build a future together. In his darkest times, he had to keep repeating Sirius’s words of love over and over in his mind and battle with his instinct to fly and leave. In fact, Remus wasn’t sure if his desire to keep Eilidh had been solely out of protection or if it had also been a desperate act to keep Sirius closer. He had been trying for the last couple of years to get over his fears and allow Sirius fully back into his life, but he had been falling and waking up at night, with Sirius tightly pressed against his back, crying at the memories of fights, shouts and distrust.
“Hey Moony,” the hot voice of Sirius next to his ear, accompanied by a small blow of air, made Remus jump out of his skin, nearly falling to the ground had it not been for Sirius' hand around his waist. The loud laugh of Eilidh and the smile that his lover's lips formed on his shoulder indicated that it had been one harmless joke. He turned around and softly flicked Sirius on the forehead, gaining a giggle out of the girl who was swinging her feet from the counter. “Since you are so bored, why don’t you stir this while I show Eilidh the whole house?” proposed Remus, pecking his lover on the lips and passing him the wooden spoon that he had been using to stir the soup. He felt a light slap on his butt when he turned around, he decided to send a wandless sticking jinx to Sirius, gaining an impressed yell from the girl.
“C’mon, Eilidh, do you want to see your room?” said Remus while helping Eilidh get down.
“I don’t need help, I’m a big girl! Look!” she exclaimed, showing the two adults how she jumped from the counter, with an encouraging hoot from Sirius.
She followed Remus through the house until they reached the stairs, going up to the second floor where the two rooms were.
“That’s Sirius and I’s room, the door is open, so if anything happens, you can come,” he said while opening the door and showing the clustered double bed room. The girl quietly inspected the whole place and stopped at the pictures on the nightstand: one of him and Sirius, and another of the Lupins. In that one, she could see a young blonde woman, with a huge smile on her round face, being tenderly hugged by a tall, freckled man, who had an uncanny similarity to Remus.
“That’s mom and dad, when they were young,” said Remus lovingly.
“You look a lot like your father,” noted Eilidh, turning back to Remus, who was fixated on the picture.
“You reckon? People say that I have the facial features of my mom,” he replied, smiling when Eilidh started looking back and forth between the picture and him. “Come, I’ll show you your room.”
Going back to the hall, and after quickly showing her the bathroom, they stopped in front of a wooden door with a sign that read “Welcome to Remus Lupin’s room, only Marauders allowed!” , in a kid's lettering. Remus opened the door and let her enter first, taking in the state of his childhood bedroom. They decided to keep the same distribution, simply buying new colourful bedsheets and putting some flowers from the garden in a vase.
“This was my room as a kid,” started Remus, seeing her flutter around the room, slowly peeking into the corners of it. Again, she stopped at the small table, looking at the board of pictures that hung on top of it. It was a collection of different muggles and magic pictures, a couple of him and the marauders, one of him and Sirius sleeping, unaware that James was immobilizing the moment, a selfie that him and Lily took in the mirror of her bedroom, and lastly one of all of them, the boys and the girls, one on top of the other in the couch of the Gryffindor common room. On the table, under the board, there was a framed picture of his parents and him when he was a kid. He had multiple visible scars, and his eyes were red. The picture had been taken after a really bad moon, but he had a huge smile on his face as his father piggybacked him and was throwing his arms around Hope’s shoulder, crushing her into them and making her laugh. Maybe magic pictures were silent, but you could hear the joy from this one.
At the quietness with which Eilidh was observing the board, Remus worriedly sat down next to her. He was shocked to see her tearful eyes and the tight fists that her hands were closed into. “Eilidh, baby, what’s wrong?” inquired Remus, trying to let the worry show in his voice. He carefully put his hand on her back, and it seemed that that broke the stupor that she was in. She turned to him, looking into his eyes, trying to understand.
“You were a kid too?” she asked in a fragile voice. Remus tensed and let a sad smile sweep his features as he nodded.
“It had been my fifth anniversary when it happened,” he explained, trying to keep that night away from his mind. Suddenly, small arms were circling his neck, and he had an armful of Eilidh that, with the emotional revelation, couldn’t contain herself from hugging the older man. After a brief moment of shock, Remus hugged the little girl and slowly caressed her back, trying to calm her down. She was quietly sobbing, hiding her head against his shoulder and violently shaking, trying to regulate her breath following Remus' calming words.
Sirius found them in that position, with Eilidh cuddled in Remus’s lap and her eyes red from crying, with the board of pictures on the floor in front of them, softly talking about the Marauders' years at Hogwarts. They were talking about the time that Lily transfigured one of the Gargoyles to jumpscare James every time he passed in front of it, when Sirius decided to make his presence known.
“Dinner is ready,” he said charmingly. Remus flushed at the lovesick stare that Sirius had, and he quickly got up, with Eilidh clenching his hand.
Dinner passed with a continuation of the Marauders’ adventure in Hogwarts, this time with Sirius passionately narrating all the mischief that they got up to, all through the love story of James and Lily, and their own falling in love when Eilidh excitedly asked. They had some tea after dinner and moved the conversation to the couch, where the fireplace provided a warm atmosphere as they cuddled under the blanket. Throughout the whole afternoon, after she became aware of what age Remus had been bitten, Eilidh hadn’t left his side, insisting on taking his hand throughout the whole dinner, forcing Remus to eat poorly with his non-dominant hand.
Once Eilidh started nodding off into Sirius' shoulder, who was nearly bouncing from cuteness, they decided to call it a night. Remus insisted on carrying her despite his knee hurting, and Sirius decided to accompany them and help Remus up the stairs. They tugged her in, and after saying good night, Remus finally got his hand back from her grip. He did something that he hadn't done in years: he went to check that the windows were secretly closed. He hadn’t felt the need to make sure that no monster could enter, but now, with his little kid there, he understood his father, methodically checking the windows every night after the attack.
Sirius was waiting for him at the door when he turned around, prepared for the warm hug that both melted into. Leaving the door to Eilidh’s room half open, they crossed the hall and entered his parents’ room, stopping in front of the bed. Both of them hesitated for a second, battling between the desire to sleep together and the knowledge that they hadn’t been able to do it since the day that the first article arrived.
“I could…” started Sirius, but was quickly quieted by Remus taking his hand and turning to face him. “Please, stay,” said the werewolf softly. Sirius was awestruck with the sight of a flustered Remus under the moonlight and couldn’t manage to speak any word, limiting himself to a simple nod. Remus brought his hands to Sirius' face, softly cradling it, mesmerised at the beauty of his lover, slowly leaning in to leave a tender kiss on his lips.
The next day in the new Lupin-Black household, Remus woke to the sound of quiet steps and the bedroom door opening softly, from where the small and dishevelled hair of a curious Eillidh emerged. When their eyes met, the girl startled in surprise, while Remus just quietly laughed, becoming her to come closer. Once she was in front of him, he asked “Good morning Eilidh, is everything alright?” in a quiet voice, to which the girl simply nodded. Seeing that she kept shuffling on her feet, Remus extended his hand and she immediately took it.
“I miss Pebbles,” she said softly.
“Who’s Pebbles?” said Remus intrigued, which made Eilidh smile brightly as she looked up, excited about the opportunity to talk about Pebbles. “He is my shark plushie! My brother always said that he was ugly, but he is so, so cute,” she started gesticulating widely and, to Remus surprise, she jumped on the bed to sit down and ramble about Pebbles, all this without leaving his hand.
When the arms around his waist squeezed, and he felt a soft smile on his back, listening to Eilidh’s excited explanation, Remus couldn’t help but think that he was exactly where he wanted to be.