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How Diasomnia Won The Interdorm Eating Competition

Summary:

A face-off between Savanaclaw and Diasomnia at the interdorm eating competition. When it's down to Sebek and Ruggie, how does Diasomnia gain the upper hand?

Written for the Valley of Dreams Zine.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Silver stared at the five empty plates around Sebek. The annual NRC cuisine showcase and eating contest was off to a good start.

 “Don’t worry, Silver,” Sebek said, swallowing an enormous spoonful of curry and licking the rest off the utensil. “Look at these pathetic humans who are supposed to be my competition. This will be easy!”

At small tables nearby sat Sebek’s competitors—or at least, the ones who remained. Ruggie smirked. Jade smiled, though his mismatched eyes glittered. Next to him Epel finally shouted what most were probably thinking. “You’ll be the one to go down, ya blasted—”

“Everyone, please!” Ortho, the announcer for the showcase, hovered above the crowd. Each table held a competitor and their accompanying housewarden, with those in the audience crowded around in the cafeteria. Silver thought it was a rather nice way to showcase food, and build camaraderie.

 “The next dish is set to arrive soon!!” Ortho continued. “If you have given up, or…” Ortho glanced at Deuce, who had a hand over his mouth, having already lost to the stuffed peppers that had made up the first round. “…or are feeling sick—please join the audience! And please thank Scarabia for the last dish, a delicious curry!”

Jamil waved from his place by the kitchens. Next to him, Kalim whispered “I wish I could have entered the eating contest!”

“Not on your life,” Jamil said. “I’m not taste-testing all of…whatever the other dorms cook up.”

Sebek’s stomach growled, and Silver stifled a chuckle. “Maybe this will finally fill that bottomless pit of yours,” Silver said.

“Still hungry?” Jade said. “Almost as impressive as Azul.” He glanced back over his shoulder where Azul stood. “Are you sure you don’t want to switch places, Azul? I know eating vast amounts of food is no problem for –”

“Be quiet,” Azul snapped. “We’re here to showcase our cuisine, so don’t drop out until then.”

“I’m just here for free food,” Ruggie said.

Sebek sniffed. “What a gauche reason!” he declared. “I am here to win this contest for my liege!”

“I appreciate your efforts, Sebek,” Malleus said. “But do not overexert yourself.”

“Hah. What, can’t fight your own battles?” Leona said from his place standing near the Savanaclaw table. “Why don’t you show us what a giant lizard can eat?”

Malleus frowned. “Big words, for one who lets his vice do all the work.”

“Ruggie’s not my vice, which you’d know if you ever showed up to meetings,” Leona said, his tail flicking. Ruggie chuckled

Malleus glared, his green eyes aglow. Silver took a step toward him. “Sir…”

“I am here to witness my dorm win the competition,” Malleus said. “It is a familiar feeling, victory. It is too bad yours has never won any interdorm competition at all.”

Leona growled, and Ruggie’s ears flattened.

“Yeah, well this is a showcase, too,” Leona snapped back. “Too bad your dorm has no cuisine worth eating.”

Malleus’s gaze grew cold, and Silver shivered when the temperature dropped. Then, a sly smile came over his face. “I will show you cuisine you cannot imagine when I return. Until then, Sebek.” Sebek sat up straighter in his chair. “Do not falter. I expect victory.”

Sebek gripped his fork.  “Of course, my liege! I will be victorious, and I will relish every bite of the dish provided by Diasomnia!” He pointed his fork at the Savanaclaw table. “You, on the other hand, will eat your words!”

Leona huffed, his ears flicking. “Whatever. Ruggie, show them how it’s done.”

Ruggie grinned. “I can eat anything. Bring it on.”

Malleus disappeared in a twinkle. Silver suddenly had a sinking feeling.

So much for camaraderie.

“Uh, right,” Ortho said.  “The next dish is a double! We have seared scallops from Octavinelle!” As he spoke, Floyd entered the cafeteria, arms laden with a tray of scallops. “And…really?” Ortho tilted his head, and for a moment he was clearly talking to someone else. “That’s it? That what you…Idia, I don’t think that counts, or goes with…Ugh, fine.” Ortho drooped a bit while he hovered. “Scallops from Octavinelle paired with, um, soda from Ignihyde.”

“Soda?” Azul screeched as Floyd placed the scallops on the table, and a ghost flew in with a bottle of what looked like fizzy water. “You’re showcasing our meal with SODA? That was not what we agreed! We’re pulling out after this, Jade!”

“Also pretty sure a can of soda isn’t really showcasing Ignihyde cuisine,” Epel added.

“Actually,” Ortho said, looking as ashamed as a robot could be. “It kinda is.”

“It does not matter!” Sebek shouted. “I will eat and drink whatever I need to win this contest! If the rest of you are too afraid to try clashing flavours, then my victory will simply be easier than I thought!”

 Ruggie glared at him, then chugged his can of soda. Sebek huffed and did the same.

“Chew with your mouth shut, Epel,” Vil said. “Don’t make a mess. Elbows off the table. I don’t even know why I permitted participation in such a contest. Ugh.” He covered his mouth with his hand as Epel dug in.

Thankfully, the rest of the round went smoothly, in Silver’s opinion. Ruggie, Sebek, and Jade ate easily, and Epel wrinkled his nose but did the same. After the meal, Jade merely gave a polite bow and stood up while Azul scowled. One more competitor down.

“There are three contestants left!” Ortho announced. “And the contestant for Heartslaybul has bowed out already.” Deuce groaned from his place in the audience, laying across two chairs. Silver hoped he felt better soon. “But Heartslaybul will still showcase their cuisine! The next meal will be…vanilla cake with raspberry jam!”

“Oh, good, a dessert” Epel said. He turned as the kitchen door opened, then blanched.

“Trey, you made each person an entire cake?!” Riddle said.

Trey tipped his hat, covering his eyes. “It is an eating contest, after all. It’s not meant to be easy.”

Silver raised an eyebrow at the full-size cake that was put on Sebek’s plate, decorated with fondant icing and raspberry jam hearts. It was probably enough for six people, and the amount of sugar…

“An entire cake? This is an insult to Malleus!” Sebek declared. “I will remove the offending cake before he sees it!”

Trey frowned. “It was supposed to be tasty, not offensive…”

“A cake? No problem.” Ruggie dug in, he and Sebek exchanging glances as the cake on their plates began to disappear.

Epel put his fork down not even halfway through. “Too much…,” he said. “I’m sorry, Vil, my stomach just can’t take it.”

“Good,” Vil said. “We’re done. So much sugar—think what it will do to your skin!”

“Uh, that’s not why I’m giving u—”

“Do not worry, Monsiuer Epel!!” Rook shouted. “We will treat you with the best beauty cremes!”

“No, wait!” Epel said, but it was too late, Rook and Vil dragging him away.

“Well, I guess Pomefiore is out,” Silver said. Sebek didn’t answer, too busy shoveling more cake into his mouth. Leona’s tail flicked as he watched the two eat. Bite after bite, each of their cakes grew smaller. Sebek gave a quiet groan as he shoveled another forkful.

“Slowing down, draconian?” Ruggie said, icing on his nose.

 “You can do it, Sebek,” Silver said.

“Obviously I can do it!” Sebek snapped. “I don’t need your encouragement, Silver!” He scooped up the rest of the cake at once with his fork and shoveled it in his mouth. With narrowed eyes, Ruggie did the same.

Then Sebek gave a yelp of surprise.

“Hehe, not so—eh?” Ruggie’s ears went flat. Sebek spat something out of his mouth, and Ruggie picked something out between his teeth.

“Oh, I should have warned you,” Trey said with a sheepish look on his face. “There’s a free toothbrush at the center. You’ll need to brush well after all that sugar.”

Sebek muttered under his breath, which was still quite loud. “He sounds just like my father…”

“Well, the toothbrush doesn’t need to be eaten, but…it looks like we have the final two remaining!” Ortho said. Sebek smirked, haughty as usual. Ruggie relaxed in his chair.

“Ours is next,” Leona said. He crossed his arms, looking far too confident for Silver’s liking.

“Next up—warthog ribs!” Ortho declared. “From Savanaclaw!”

“This is your chosen meal?” Sebek huffed as the steaming rack of ribs was placed on his plate. “Such a measly amount of meat?”

“This dish has a special requirement,” Ortho said. Ruggie grinned. “In Savanaclaw, its customary to…wow. Eat the ribs, bones and all!”

Ruggie chomped straight through the bone with a loud crack, then swallowed.

“Not something herbivores can do,” Leona said.

Silver raised both eyebrows. Counting the bones, that was a huge amount of food.

At that moment, Malleus appeared in a flash of magic. Ruggie startled, nearly dropping the rib in his hands.

“What have I missed?” Malleus asked.

“You have missed nothing but these Savanaclaw humans being fools!” Sebek bellowed. “I will show you victory, and the famed bite force of the Zigvolt clan!” Another loud crack echoed as he chomped through a rib. Ruggie’s ears flicked in acknowledgment, and the contest was on. The room was filled with the sound of cracking bones as a hyena beastman and a crocodile fae chomped through what must have been an enormous warthog.

Silver had to admit, Ruggie was a worthy adversary. Sebek showed no signs of slowing, but neither did Ruggie. It would come down to the last dish.

“Are the assorted nuts and mushrooms ready?” he asked Malleus. Silver had thought it would be a fitting dish to showcase the forests of Briar Valley.

“There was a change of plans,” Malleus said, voice low.

The ribs were almost gone. Ruggie bit another in half, and in return Sebek swallowed one whole, grinning at Ruggie as he did.

Silver’s sinking feeling returned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I changed the plans,” Malleus said, green eyes glowing.

“Wow!” Ortho said. “All the ribs, gone! And still no winner! It will be the last dish—a nut and mushroom medley from—”

 “Not quite!” Lilia said, appearing in a twinkling flash. “The dish will be a nutritious mix, made by yours truly, by request of the Housewarden of Diasomnia!”

Silver’s stomach flipped. Sebek’s face went pale.

Lilia set a bubbling pot down on the center table, and opened the lid. The audience recoiled. Deuce went green and ran out of the room.

“Oh,” Ortho said. A small sound beeped—a sensor on his wrist briefly flashed red letters that spelled out “toxic substance detected”—and he turned it off. “I see. Well…this is the last dish! It’s…um…”

“My nutritious bat and grass soup!” Lilia declared.

Ruggie’s ears went flat against his skull as Lilia served him his bowl. Sebek closed his eyes briefly, and Silver knew that feeling well. Resigned acceptance to his fate. He had felt it every day eating Lilia’s food.

“The first to finish wins!” Ortho said.

“Ruggie…” Leona began, then swallowed hard. “Don’t you dare fail!”

“For you, Lord Malleus!” Sebek declared, and picked up the bowl.

The two students began to chug. Lilia beamed as he watched.

Then Ruggie spluttered, gagging. “Oh by the seven Leona, it’s rotten!”

“Ruggie, you said you could eat anything!”

“Not trash!”

Sebek slammed the empty bowl down, a bit of the concoction drooling from the corner of his mouth. “Done!” he demanded.

“We have a winner!” Ortho called out. “Diasomnia dorm!”

Sebek swayed where he sat, and grabbed the table to keep from falling. “I did it for you, Lord Malleus,” he said, tears in the corners of his eyes.

Malleus grinned at Leona, fangs showing. “Another victory,” he said. “I do so like this feeling.”

“Ugh,” Leona said. “Let’s go, Ruggie. After all that bragging about a free meal…”

“Why don’t you try it then!”

Lilia watched them go. “I suppose it wasn’t to their taste? But it’s so healthy!”

Sebek fell out of his chair, Malleus catching him at the last moment.

“Oh, father,” Silver said, shaking his head.

Notes:

Written for the Valley of Dreams Zine ( https://souriru.itch.io/the-valley-of-dreams )

Check out the zine if you'd like to see more fics like this one!