Chapter Text
“If this is Cherry Street, then that intersection must be Front…but then why can’t I see the CN Tower from here?! Rgh, I’m going to miss my ticket time! Ranma, this is all your fault…somehow!”
A young man in yellow and black scoured his surroundings as he fumbled with a map. He didn’t really believe it was the fault of his former rival, but it was just too easy to blame him for things. It didn’t need to make sense, anyway. Nothing else in his life ever did. Ryouga Hibiki wiped sweat from his forehead with a grumble. Warehouses lined the maze-like street, a mishmash of new construction and rusty old monoliths looming around him as he walked on. He spotted a street sign.
“San-Choume? Huh, that’s odd. I didn’t know they used kanji here,” he said as he looked for where it could possibly intersect on the map. He didn’t notice as the street ended and a warehouse began, unconsciously ducking under the half-open truck door, then came to a stop at the far end. Who had put up a corrugated steel wall right in the middle of a busy street? This city was even more poorly laid out than Tokyo. He raised his hand, finger extended as he prepared to clear the obstruction in a way that wouldn’t damage his map.
“Hibiki?!” called a voice in Japanese. His head shot up from the map, and he looked around for the source. There was a young man in billowing white robes with thick glasses standing next to a trio of shady looking sailors, one of whom seemed to be reaching for something at his back.
“Mousse? What are you doing in Toronto? Are you looking for the CN Tower too? They seem to have misplaced it and I’m going to miss my time to go up! I paid a lot for that ticket, too…”
The three seamen looked askance at the Amazon, who shook his head and muttered an excuse in Cantonese. The scruffy men laughed. Mousse turned back. “No, you fool, you’re in Fukuoka! But listen, you are just in time to help me with my plan.”
Ryouga narrowed his eyes, fangs glinting as he snarled slightly. He had caught what Mousse called him, having a passable grasp of many Chinese dialects. The yellow-tunic’d martial artist glowered. “What’s in it for me?”
“What else? A cure, and humiliation for that womanizer Saotome!” the Amazon crowed. Ryouga’s irritation was instantly forgotten. “Then, you can have the Tendou girl and I will have freed my beautiful Xian Pu!”
“Lead with that, next time!” The lost boy strode over to the others, noticing what they were standing next to. There were clearly three wooden casks wrapped in oiled canvas and bound with rope. A label in a familiar script peeked out. “Is that…?!” he asked, but Mousse held up a hand.
“I will explain everything you need to know, Hibiki. First we must conclude our business,” he said before turning back to the trio of what Ryouga now knew must be smugglers. The realization didn’t bother him, for they had often been his best travel option in his wanderings. His family’s directional difficulties made navigating traditionally labyrinthine ports and stations impossible to use. Conversely, it was a ridiculously simple matter to accidentally happen upon illicit meetings with people willing to help get one where they wanted to go in exchange for a little free labour, to the point where Ryouga figured police organizations simply weren’t trying to crack down at all.
It also made sense that Mousse would know people in the business. Being able to effortlessly conceal vast quantities of dangerous items on his person made him an ideal mule. It was bound to be a lucrative gig, as well. The robed man never seemed to lack for resources in his ploys, only ability to execute.
He pretended to inspect the merchandise while listening. Mousse’s business turned out to be merely catching up with the sailors. Based on the stories they were sharing, two were Amazon exiles while a third was a rather weedy looking member of the Musk. It was no wonder they were able to bring illicit goods out of the Bayan Har and past the PRC. He thumped each cask in turn - all sounded full. Though it was partially obscured, the label that peeked out seemed to be the full Chinese characters for nanniichuan - a cure, just as promised! But then, what was Mousse’s play here? Was it merely a lure? Ryouga side eyed the hidden weapons master. The Amazon was nothing if not duplicitous.
“We are finished, Hibiki. For your part, help with carrying these. I have arranged transport back to Tokyo tomorrow night, but in the morning we shall enact the first stage of the plan.” The Chinese smugglers had already made themselves scarce. A wickedly curved knife flashed in Mousse’s hand and the ties fell away, and soon the canvas disappeared into his robes. The three casks were bound together by steel strapping which he plucked experimentally before reaching into a sleeve for a different tool. “If you would just…ah.” He stopped, seeing that Ryouga had already hefted all three onto his shoulder. The priceless liquid inside made muffled thunks as it sloshed against the wood walls.
“Easier this way. Where to?” asked the improbably strong young man. Mousse gave him an appraising look, smirked in apparent approval, then gestured towards the door.
“There is a safe house on the outskirts of the city that I keep with my … compatriots. There I will let you in on the details of my plan, and we shall begin our revenge on Saotome.”
The Amazon had quickly realized it was easiest to direct Ryouga from behind, rather than lead from the front. By the evening, they had made it out of Fukuoka to a shack at a construction yard near a brand new JR station. It didn’t seem big enough for both of them from the outside. “This is your safe house? It’s barely a utility shed.“ He glared suspiciously at the Amazon, who smirked in return.
“Oh ye of little faith, outsider. You forget who you are speaking with.” Mousse turned to stand in front of the door, his robes fluttering distractingly as he made several rapid movements Ryouga couldn’t track. The door opened inward, and he stepped aside with a beckoning gesture.
Ryouga’s eyes went wide. “...it’s smaller on the outside.” The Amazon made a weird noise, and the bandana’d man gave him a perplexed look. “How does that work?”
“I am after all, a Grandmaster of the Amazon school of Hidden Weapons,” responded the other as he lowered his glasses dramatically.
“That doesn’t explain anything, you know...” Ryouga muttered as he entered. It wasn’t terribly big inside, but there was at least room to set the casks down in between the meagre kitchenette and a set of bunk beds that looked to be US Army vintage. His eyes swam a little as he tried to make sense of the insides, and his inner ear was about to file a protest with the ward office. It was like the space inside was compressed somehow, or maybe crumpled. He set his pack down with a thump. The wall seemed like it rippled like cloth, but then was as firm as the corrugated steel it appeared to be.
“True. When we succeed in this endeavour, I may see fit to train you in some of the mysteries if you so desire,” explained the Amazon to a coat rack. Ryouga cleared his throat. Mousse put his glasses back on, then turned towards him. “Er, ahem. Now, to explain the plan…”
Ryouga took up a seat on the lower of the two bunks as Mousse described the plot. It turned out it would be a bog standard bait and switch operation, which was good in that it didn’t have many moving parts, but disappointing because it wasn’t terribly exciting. One of the casks was actually filled with water from the spring of drowned girl, while the other two held the opposite. Things took a turn when the Amazon explained the casks had been filled using the Chiisuiton, that devilish artifact the Musk used for sealing Jusenkyou curses. According to Clove, Mousse’s smuggler friend from the Musk tribe, this should be able to permanently alter someone’s curse, overwriting their birth form in the process. “I had originally intended to use one of the casks on myself, then lure both Saotomes with a promise of a cure in recompense for the … misfortune in the spring,” he said.
“The wedding,” Ryouga thought to himself. He looked at the casks as if they were filled with old dynamite, eyes as big as dinner plates. He’d just been carrying them all day, completely unaware of the danger. If they had leaked… His fists balled as he glowered, then stopped as a thought stopped his aggression in its tracks. “Wait, if it’s permanent because of the pail, then wouldn’t the … Kaisuifuu be able to undo it? Ranma could just go and get cured again. Don’t you remember? He and Herb are brothers now, sort of. And,” Ryouga furrowed his brow. "Wouldn't the Musk always use this method for, er...making wives, if it was so potent?"
Mousse shook his head as he shucked off his robe, revealing he was only wearing shorts underneath. Ryouga looked away, cheeks hot for some reason. “Normally, that would only undo the locking effect, not the alteration. This way uses water drawn directly from the springs with the Chiisuiton, creating a stronger effect. As for why they don't normally do it this way, surely you can think of a reason why people with a great deal of experience with Jusenkyou's magic would not risk exposing themselves to it more than necessary?" He replied with a frown, but relented. "These are good questions, anyway. Besides, Clove gave me a photocopy of the instructional manuscript, which I have already read in exhaustive detail.”
“A photocopy? You have copiers way up there?”
Mousse made a sour noise. “Of course we do. Typical outsider, have more respect for cultures not your own. China isn’t some podunk backwater where nobody’s seen electronics before. It’s not like we’re Australia , after all,“ he chided, gesticulating with the pamphlet.
“Can I see it?” Suspicion niggled in the back of Ryouga’s mind. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust that Mousse believed this could work, but his plans were always prone to undersight, both figuratively and literally.
“Can you read ancient Tibetan?” The Amazon man smirked, making no effort to hide having noticed Ryouga’s discomfort at his state of dress as he opened a cooler disguised as a toolbox. “Care for a drink? They’re cold.”
“Rgh...no, and yes. Alright, so Ranma’s father ensures they both show up, and then what? Wouldn’t they figure it out pretty quick?”
The Amazon shook his head as he tossed a can of cold tea to Ryouga. “No, the idea was first for me to use it, then present myself as proof of my sincerity to his father. He is greedy and selfish, and would have been trivial to manipulate. You are an added complication, but should serve the same purpose in convincing that bastard Ranma. We can even do it as a live demonstration. Tomorrow morning I will cure myself, and then we shall catch a train.”
Ryouga glowered, but opened the can and took a sip. “Why do I have to wait?”
“Because it’s my plan. Besides, it will be all the sweeter if he sees his bitter rival cured, only to have his hopes dashed.” Mousse cackled maliciously, then fixed Ryouga with a leer. “Besides, do you really want to play lab rat?”
Ryouga blanched. “No, fine, you go first. Ugh. You’re kind of evil, you know that?”
“Hmph. You just don’t understand Amazon culture. The greatest joy in life is to crush your enemies and see them driven before you.”
The fanged man snorted. He’d accidentally seen that movie when he ended up in a suburb of Tokyo called Albuquerque. “I would’ve thought there were better ones.”
The Hidden Weapons Master suddenly loomed over him. “More pleasurable, at least.” Ryouga’s eyes grew as big as saucers.
“Wha-at’s going on, Mousse?...” his voice cracked.
The long-haired young man leaned against the bunk. Ryouga once again became very aware that Mousse was bare chested. “I noticed you ‘checking me out,’ earlier. Are you interested?”
“I’ve never, I mean, you’re a, I, er…buh?” His mind went blank.
Mousse’s hand found his cheek. “You’ve really never played with another man before? Surprising, really. You’re strong and fit, and not bad looking besides. Outsiders have such strange hangups about sex.” The hand dropped to his chest. “Amazons have no such problems. We are descendants of Greece in the ancient days, when warriors would be closer with one another than with their spouses. Even your Samurai had such relations. Today, it is normal for Amazon women to bed one another before marriage, and the same for men.” He winked. “It’s good practice.”
Ryouga felt his tunic opening as clever fingers found the frogs. Mousse shot him a grin like a cat he once saw vanish before his eyes. “I am going to kiss you now. Stop me if you don’t want that.” Their lips met.
He could have easily pushed the other man away, even sent the Amazon flying through the roof. He didn’t. Mousse broke the kiss first. “How was that?” Ryouga pulled him back in.
He shrugged out of his top with the other’s assistance as they kissed again. Mousse’s hand was warm on his chest as he pushed him back on the bed. Ryouga’s hands clutched inexpertly at the other man’s chest, lost in the novel sensation of the Amazon’s tongue hungrily wrestling with his own. A grunt escaped him as his shoulders were pinned back, turning into a whimper as their lips parted again and a series of nibbles trailed down to his neck.
Mousse moved one of Ryouga’s hands to his buttock, and he squeezed instinctively. “Good, now you’re getting it,” came the response in a husky murmur that was almost a growl. Ryouga’s other hand raked along his abs, calloused fingers tracing a spiderweb of scars from a life of harsh training. His thoughts briefly drifted to another bare chest, similarly lined. The Amazon moved expertly down his body, fingers probing a multitude of pressure points and sensitive areas that dragged a gasping moan from his throat as the long haired man ground against him.
He froze as Mousse’s hand cupped his … that. Instantly, Mousse let go. “Too much?”
Ryouga dragged his tunic over his crotch, glowing with embarrassment as he rolled away. “No, yes, I’ve never, I don’t, uh-!” he babbled. “Go down, go down, go down,” he thought at the uncomfortable bulge between his legs, dragged out of the moment by the familiar sense of shame mixed with vague horror he always felt when he got an erection.
“Hey. It’s not a big deal. Too much for your first time. We were only fooling around a little - it’s not like we were going to go all the way to begin with.” Mousse rose, sliding to the edge of the bunk to give him space, eyes never leaving him. ”You seem really uncomfortable and I’m not sure what the problem is. Were you not expecting to be aroused by a man? It’s only natural to get hard if someone’s making out with you, no matter what they have going on.”
Ryouga shot him a deer-in-the-headlights look. “It is?” The Amazon looked perplexed.
“Uh, yes. You’re acting like you have no idea how your dick works. Did you not have sex ed in school?” Mousse shook his head.「 Do they not teach them anything, here? No wonder this land is full of perverts,」he muttered in the Amazon dialect.
Ryouga flushed bright red, mortified. “I-I missed a lot of classes, okay?!”
The rest of the evening was quiet. Mousse was an excellent cook, and Ryouga had no qualms about washing the dishes due to the tap only producing hot water. Mousse had explained that the smugglers had managed to tap into a hot spring, thus providing a ready source for washing and bathing, which they both did after. Drinking water was another matter, but a potable water truck in the construction yard was nearby. Being a surprisingly excellent host, the Amazon took it upon himself to fill the shack’s jerrycan, and even escorted him to and from the portalets.
With little else to do and the sun far below the horizon, the young men turned in. The Amazon claimed the top bunk, and Ryouga made himself comfortable on the lower.
Try as he might, sleep evaded him. Something about the weirdly condensed space was keeping Ryouga awake. It definitely wasn’t the…excitement of earlier. Couldn’t be that. Nothing even happened. Besides, Mousse kept tossing and turning too. Clearly, the problem was that they were both excited for the next stage of the plan. He spoke up in Mandarin. 「Mousse, are you awake?」
The mass above him shifted, and a tired voice answered.「What? Ryouga? … Since when do you speak Han?」
He rolled his eyes. May as well come clean. 「I get around, remember?」
Mousse was quiet for a moment. 「...Wait. Do you know Guandong speech as well?」
Ryouga snickered. After everything that happened today, finally the boot was on the other foot. 「What? Are you afraid the brainless man pig will be angry?」
「Shit.」
He laughed out loud. Mousse growled. He laughed even louder.
After a moment, Mousse spoke again, contrite. 「I apologize. You don’t portray yourself as terribly intelligent, but it seems you know your Sun Tsu as well as more civilized languages. If only others had your depth, Hibiki, the world would be a better, smarter place.」
Ryouga rolled his eyes at the other man’s arrogant dismissal of the world beyond China. 「It’s fine. I’m used to it.」
They lapsed into silence for a moment. 「Was there something you wanted to say?」
Ryouga flexed his toes, thinking. 「What do you think the chances are that Akane or Xian Pu don’t get angry at us?」
「Oh, they’ll be furious. They’ll get over it, though. Once Saotome is no longer a viable choice for spouse, and we’re the obviously correct choices, we’ll get what we deserve.」Mousse shifted again. 「Alright, my turn. You’ve got a girlfriend already, right? The pig farmer. Why are you still carrying a torch for the Tendou girl?」
The blood turned icy in his veins. 「Akari and I…」”Shit.” 「We’re spending time apart,」he finished lamely.
「I am reliably informed that she is frankly obsessed with you. Something about defeating her monstrous prize boar, something about your cursed form? Honestly, I don’t know why you are so obsessed with Akane with someone falling over you like that. If you were one of us, you’d be married by now. What gives?」He paused before continuing. 「Is the sex that bad?.」
Ryouga kicked the underside of Mousse’s bed with a snarl, prompting a laugh from the latter. “Don’t talk about her like that! We’ve never…y’know!”
「Alright, I’m sorry. Cultural differences, and I forgot you weren’t experienced. If she were of the Village she’d already be blessed, and you’d be a kept man. So, why are you here?」
Ryouga sighed and turned on his side. After a moment, he rolled over again. 「Akari is…I don’t think we’re compatible. She’s obsessed with pigs, to the point that everything good is piglike to her. I don’t know, maybe I just feel like she sees me as a human-shaped pig, instead of a human who looks like one when they’re unlucky with the weather.」
「This explains Akari. Now, what about Akane Tendou? Why the obsession?」
Ryouga grunted. 「Hey, don’t I get a turn in between? What about you? What’s the deal with Xian Pu?」
「That’s easy. She’s the best woman of her generation in the village in anything she does, and she used to be nice before the old mummy poisoned her against me. Plus, I can tell she still cares. She’d hit me a lot harder if she didn’t. I just need to prove I’m the better man.」
Ryouga stared at the slats of the top bunk. “Hoo boy, that guy has it bad. And by it, I mean trauma.” He spoke up.「I guess that makes sense, maybe.」
「Of course it does. Now, answer me. What is it about Akane that has you besotted?」
He hesitated.「She’s nice to me,」he responded lamely.
「That’s it? The eldest Tendou sister is nice to everyone, but you are not in love with her, surely. What’s the difference?」
Ryouga snarled.「I don’t know, okay?! I haven’t had anyone actually be nice to me the way she is since…since…」
「Hey Hibiki. You stopped talking.」
He jolted, face burning. Why was he thinking about middle school? It was nothing but humiliation, wasn’t it?「Oh, er, I did?...」
「Yeah. You were saying something about someone being nice to you before Akane, but then you stopped talking for a few minutes. Did you fall asleep?」
「No, I mean, I was just…thinking about someone I used to know back in middle school. More than five years ago.」The words came out a lot more wistful than he intended.
A chuckle came from the top bunk.「She must have been quite something to have you pining like this so long after. Have you never seen her since then?」
Unbidden, Ryouga’s thoughts turned to the one who took him to and from school for a year. The one who fought him and the rest of the class for lunch. The one with whom he'd shared secrets they both swore to never tell another soul. The one who couldn’t wait for the fourth day because his father dragged him off to China. He put his pillow over his face and screamed for a moment.
Mousse peeked over the side of the bed. 「Hibiki, you’re being more strange than usual. Are you okay?」
「I’m … fine. It’s fine,」he grumbled from under his pillow. He moved it away, and lied. 「No, I haven’t seen … her … since.」
「Alright, if you say so.」He pulled himself back up. 「Let’s get some rest. It will be a big day tomorrow. We’ll finally have our vengeance.」
Ryouga wiped burning tears from his eyes as he turned towards the wall. “Right…vengeance…” An image of an uncharacteristically vulnerable smile from a pony-tailed teen at sunset appeared unbidden before his mind’s eye. He growled and held his pillow tightly over his head, willing the bittersweet memory away. Sleep claimed him soon after.
Somehow a crack in the wall managed to be just wide enough that the first direct ray of light from the sun cresting the horizon managed to land directly on Ryouga’s eyelid, but not wide enough that it let in rain or bugs. He awoke, winced, wrestled his pillow. “Why did I have to dream about … that?!” Ryouga hauled himself out of bed, then began rummaging through his pack for a toothbrush and toothpaste tube. Someone kept misplacing them in the bag, so he kept spares. The red one found his hand after a minute, with a travel tube hanging from the end of the handle by a string. It was his favourite. “Oh, thank whoever’s listening, I thought I lost you in Belize…”
Mousse rustled about for a moment, then sat up. They made eye contact. Ryouga’s cheeks burned, and he nearly choked on the toothpaste as he spun around to face the wall. The Amazon man snickered, then dismounted from the top bunk.
When he looked again, the long-haired man had taken his flowing mane out of the duck-print sleep bonnet-er, cap, and was brushing it meticulously. His back was still exposed; Ryouga’s eyes automatically followed the contracting and relaxing cables of muscle and sinew beneath the skin as the Amazon groomed himself.
Ryouga spit in the waste water bucket and grabbed his canteen.
Breakfast was not the showy affair dinner had been. Mousse went out to pick up food, leaving Ryouga to bring out the casks and set one up outside on a gantry mere steps from the shack. He lashed a thin cord to the bung per the Amazon’s instructions, then tied the container in place. It would have been a much simpler affair had it not been necessary to keep the shack in view the entire time, but at least he hadn’t gotten lost. The setup struck him as odd, but Mousse was firm. “I want to stand free, raising my hands as the daylight glimmers through the falling water as though a blessing from nature itself!” he explained with no small fire in his eyes. Ryouga found it poetic, and maybe even a little romantic. He blushed again for no reason in particular.
Ryouga glowered at the cask, idly flicking the corner of the label that was peeling up. The cure was so close, and yet so far. He wished that he could just douse himself now, but that wasn’t the agreement. A martial artist shouldn’t be deceitful, and Ryouga had promised to go along with the plan. All he had to do was be patient, and his long nightmare would be over. No more dodging puddles, no more desperately hiding from the gentlest summer rain…he could even go swimming again. Not the four legged paddle that was basically running in water his cursed form could manage, but a real power stroke that would send him darting like an arrow just like when he was in middle school. It just figured that the family curse started getting really bad just as puberty started to put real muscle on him.
He spotted his compatriot as he re-entered the yard full of construction equipment. Mousse eyed his handiwork. “Good job. You earned this.” Ryouga hopped down just in time to catch a barrage of konbini food. As they squatted in the dust to eat, Mousse took out the instructional pamphlet again and squinted at it over his glasses. Their eyes met, and Mousse pushed them back up into place.
With food in their bellies and the wrappers disposed of, Mousse gave the setup one more look. Ryouga watched as he peeled up the label on one of the casks to reveal a second underneath - this was the one with nyanniichuan water - then smoothed it back down and rolled it to the other end of the shack. “Good idea. Can you imagine if we got those mixed up?” scoffed the bandana’d martial artist.
“That would be … unfortunate. I think I would have to kill you,” Mousse replied drolly. There was a tense moment as they stared at one another. Chuckling to break the tension, the Amazon gently socked Ryouga’s shoulder. “Relax, my friend. I have double checked everything. Nothing can possibly go wrong. Now it is time to begin phase two. Hold this for me.”
“Huh? Eep!” He became lost in the flowing robes and loose trousers Mousse shucked off then tossed at him. They weren’t light, but not nearly as heavy as their contents should make them. “What’s the big idea?!”
“I do not wish to sully my clothes! Besides, for this to work correctly, we must be in our cursed forms.” The Amazon strode over to the nearby water truck, drew a pail of water from the spigot, then upended it over his head. Ryouga stifled a chortle as the bucket followed him down. Clearing his throat to hide the sound from the struggling man duck, Ryouga picked up the pamphlet and pretended not to notice his ally fighting to free himself and began to peruse it.
Clumsily, as one arm was restrained by a mound of Amazon menswear, he leafed through it. As Mousse had said, it was full of a Tibetan dialect he’d never seen before, with nary an illustration. Then came a surprise - the back half was in Japanese! He read with interest while Mousse deposited a pair of silk briefs on his foot, then positioned himself under the gantry with wings spread. Ryouga’s eyes went wide as he spotted a text box emblazoned with big kanji reading DANGER. “Do not under any circumstances use the twice-cursed water on a victim already in their cursed form, for it will cause them to…” He looked up just as the feathery Amazon grabbed the cord in his beak. “Wait, Mousse! No, STOP!”
The bespectacled duck whipped his head around to look at him in surprise. The cask opened. Ryouga watched the cursed water spill out as if in slow motion. It glittered like a thousand gemstones in the morning light, each droplet bearing sadistic magic, and he could almost hear choral music accompanied by western stringed instruments. Mousse began to grow. His body swelled into a humanoid shape, neck shrinking, arms emerging as feathers gave way to skin. Ryouga felt his nose start to bleed as the Amazon’s bare tummy appeared above a pelvis shrouded in white down feathers, topped by a pair of small but pert breasts similarly capped in snow. “Uh oh.”
Mousse stood glistening under the sun, arms and wings outstretched as he gazed into the sky. A gust of wind raced through the storage yard that ripped the label off the cask, showing another underneath. He slowly looked down at his down covered chest, then stumbled mutely over to the water truck and yanked its mirror down to look at his new form. In Ryouga’s mind, the chorus reached a high note. “YAAAAAAUGH!”
Ears ringing with the shriek, he looked at Mousse, looked at the cask lashed to the gantry labeled nyanniichuan, then looked at the extra label that had impaled itself on a piece of baling wire protruding from the fence next to the shack. Quickly, he stepped over and checked the cask Mousse had moved. It also had a false label. He glanced over the pamphlet. The last pages were a bill of lading stapled to a photocopied order form. His eyes narrowed as he read. Mousse had accidentally swapped the number of casks, meaning it wasn’t even the fault of his smuggler friends.
“YOU.” Mousse was glowering at him, glasses crushed in one hand. “What did you DO?!” hissed the winged man in a woman’s body as he turned towards him in a square stance, heedless of his nudity. “Do you have any idea what they’ll DO to me like this?!”
“Me?! I didn’t do anything!” The yellow-tunic’d martial artist blanched. “Who’s they? Who’d kill you?”
“I. Look. Like. A. Phoenix. An enemy of the tribe, and a mortal one!” he huffed, plumage standing on end. “They’ll KILL me on sight! Especially after the mess at Jusendo! That was practically a declaration of war against the Nǚjié zú, you know?!” He pulled at his feathers, breath coming in ragged gasps.
Ryouga looked at the bundle of clothing in his arms, then at the panicking bird wo-...bird man, he corrected. “Look, Mousse, we’ll go to China and,” thinking fast, his eyes lit up. “We’ll go to the Musk! We’ll see Prince Herb, and use the Kaisuifuu, and then we’ll try this again,” he said, starting towards his overwrought friend. “Look, let’s just get you dressed, so you’re not so, uh…”
“Shut UP! You don’t understand ANYTHING!” Mousse swept his wings out, sending a blast of wind through the makeshift courtyard that buffeted Ryouga, nearly ripping the clothing from his grasp. “Stupid outsider! Sure, we will just waltz right up to Herb’s castle, knock on the door, and ask nicely! Who do you think you are, Saotome?!” he hissed.
Ryouga sneered back. “Well, at least I’m actually trying to come up with a solution! Also, stop calling me stupid! I’m not the one who put in the wrong order or couldn’t read the instructions!” He snapped his wrist, charging the pamphlet with enough ki to let it cut through the wind pressure and threw it like a knife. “When’s the last time you got a new prescription for those pop bottles, anyway?!” Inwardly, Ryouga cursed his luck. “Why do all of my friends have to be such assholes?”
The Amazon-turned-pseudophoenix caught the paper, half-folding his wings as he read. His eyes flashed, first in anger, then in horror. Slowly, his posture softened and then slumped, the papers slowly drooping from his hand before falling to the mostly-dry mud below. Quietly at first, he began laughing hysterically, steadily growing louder before they sounded more like sobs. Tears began to re-wet the ground beneath in little speckles.
Ryouga winced. “Or maybe I’m the asshole after all.” He took another step, but stopped as the label flapping on the third cask by the door to the shack caught his attention. There was no label under it. “This was just, just … pure dumb bad luck, Mousse. A coin flip.” He looked back. Mousse was glaring venomously, wings cocked back in a posture that was strangely familiar. “-! Wait, NO!”
“If I can’t have it, neither can you!” shrieked the Amazon-turned-phoenix person as his wings whipped forward in a mirror of the technique used by Saffron’s Royal Guard.
Ryouga whipped a pair of bandanas to intercept the charged feathers, but one of his arms was still full and he couldn’t muster enough. The cask and the shack behind it were rent apart with a terrible noise. The world went red. He snarled, fangs bared. “You BASTARD! You couldn’t just stop and listen for ONE MINUTE!” The lost man lunged forward, Mousse’s clothing discarded in the dust, fist backed with titanic force.
Mousse was too fast, even with a brand new form. Ryouga’s fist impacted the water truck and it exploded outwards, spraying the rest of the storage yard in shrapnel and water vapour. The pseudophoenix pelted him with more ki-razored feathers as he dodged. “DIE, PIG!”
“YOU FIRST, DUCK!” The lost man countered by flinging cement mixers, massive coils of cables, and the entire cabin of the water truck, engine at all.
Despite the height advantage, Ryouga was too fast to hit at long range and too accurate closer in. For a brief moment they paused, glaring at each other in an impasse. Mousse hovered in midair with powerful wingbeats, then turned. The grounded martial artist followed his gaze to the bundle of clothing by the destroyed shack. As one, they came to the same conclusion. The transformed Amazon began a power dive, seeking to overturn the odds by regaining his arsenal.
“I can’t believe I got suckered into a stupid revenge plot by another fake friend.” The thought pierced Ryouga’s berserker rage, sadness bleeding through the red haze. “ I should’ve known he was just using me from the start. Of course this was never going to work out.” He dropped into a crouch, bracing against the ground as he drew his hands back. “ I’m such a fucking idiot. I should have known better than to think anyone could like me like that. ”
The newly fledged phoenix arrowed in, wingtips shrieking as they broke the speed of sound as he beat them ever harder, and he snatched up his robes at the nadir of his dive. As he swooped upwards, the roar of wind in his ears quieted. A shout from the ground broke the relative silence. Mousse looked back, eyes wide. 「Shitting fuck.」
“SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!”
A tremendous explosion of magenta light blotted out the sun. Mousse vanished over the eastern horizon.
Sirens started not too far away. Snapped out of his depressive stupor, Ryouga snatched his travel pack from the ruins of the shed. As he turned to leave, he eyed the remaining cask where it sat, tipped over but otherwise untouched.
The eternally lost man glowered at the wooden cask strapped to his pack as he cooked dinner over a campfire.
It accompanied him as he fished for lunch.
He glared daggers at it while beating the dust out of his bedroll.
It waited outside the door as he used a public bathroom.
He grumbled as he used it for a makeshift pillow.
The cask of water remained a cask of water.
Days after the fight in Fukuoka, Ryouga sewed a patch into the rear of his slacks under the morning light, eyeballing the wooden cask as it sat there, taunting him.
He had read and re-read the instructions every day for a week. All he had to do was use it while in his birth form and splash, no more piglet. All he'd have to do then is go to the Musk, then back to Jusenkyou, find the nanniichuan, and he'd be cured forever. Even in the mean time, it would be safer for sure, but was it worth the cost?
On the one hand, he already knew how to deal with being a pig, and he’d be stuck in his new form for who knows how long it would take to go back to China and get it all fixed. On the other, he’d at least be able to have hands, wear clothes, boil water, wear a bathing suit to go swimming…and Ranma seemed to do okay.
But would she?
He ruffled his hair with both hands, frustrated. “Rrrrgh, shit. What do I do?!” Ryouga yelled up at the heavens.
He was answered with a peal of thunder from a sky full of very heavy looking clouds.
The next evening found a stocky young woman with short, dark brown hair with a faint green tint like moss speckling a fallen log as she stood in the middle of a residential street wearing a backpack nearly as big as her, a sodden train ticket peeking out from a pouch on the side. Everything was still soaked from the torrential downpour that had just ended as she reached her destination, including her. Runnels of water trailed down her forehead, joining with the tears freely flowing down her cheeks.
The last ray of sunlight before the sun dipped below the horizon caressed her cheek in beautiful gold. “I did it…I finally found it and I didn’t get lost.”
Ryouga wrung out a bandana and wiped his face, then walked past the mailbox that read “Hibiki.”
He pulled a key from its hiding place under an improbably large concrete planter, then unlocked the door and entered. “I’m home!...” he called out quietly.