Chapter Text
The war.
All of it was too fucking much.
Dave couldn’t grasp it— let alone want to.
But when the Elephant Monster told Dave that it had Katie?
He was done.
What did it even fucking mean by that?
She was dead.
He would know, he sat on that stupid plane for hours sobbing over her.
He prayed it was just another nightmare.
But it wasn’t.
It was real and he let it happen to Katie.
He couldn’t save her.
He tried to rest his head on her chest like he would always do when cuddling with her— this time there was no movement though.
So what did that bastard mean?
Katie was dead, it didn’t have shit. It didn’t have her and it couldn’t.
He would never forgive himself.
But when the Elephant Monster gave proof, showing Dave how she was walking around as a puppet for it? He completely snapped.
Dave didn’t even know how to feel as he practically pushed his way past Matteo and Linda to go to their room.
Rage?
Confusion?
Betrayal?
He didn’t even register their shouts and pleads for Dave to come back, and that they would figure it out together.
He ran to the room and flung the door open, going to the corner of the room where his bed sat. He situated himself on the bed so that his back was against the wall and he was cradling his knees in his arms.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How did I let this happen? How did I let her die? Was I not good enough for you, God? Dave stared up at the ceiling, tears filling his eyes. I know I haven’t always been the best but did it have to be her? What did she ever do to deserve this? Maybe you’re not even here, maybe you never were— who am I fucking kidding, you never will be.
Matteo ran into the room, pausing when he saw his best friends state.
“Dave— jesus,” Matteo rushed over to Dave, pulling his hands away from his arms where he was creating bloody scratches, “Fuck, look at me, man.” Dave looked up at Matteo briefly, breathing heavy. Linda ran into the room shortly after Matteo. She took in the situation, seeing the blood and going into nurse mode.
“Holy shit, what happened?” Matteo sighed, briefly looking back at Linda.
”Carajo— I don’t know, Linda. I just got here.” Linda looked around anxiously, thinking of her next move.
“I- Let me go grab the doctor.” Linda sprinted back out of the room. Dave continued to breathe heavy, but now he started to mumble. Matteo was close enough to hear it.
”God hates me, it’s all my fault, this would’ve never happened if I had just ended it years ago.” Matteo paused as Dave repeated the phrase, rocking back and forth with his hands still being held up by Matteo. In a failed attempt, Matteo tried to physically shake Dave out of it— he still continued to mumble the haunting mantra.
“Fucking hell!” Suddenly, Matteo slapped Dave’s face, Dave stopped and looked at Matteo in the eyes, “It is not your fault. Don’t you ever fucking say that, okay? You saved me, and that is enough. I don’t care what any God has to say about it.” Dave’s breathing slowed as he collapsed, shifting his head onto Matteo’s lap, slow tears flowed down his cheeks and onto Matteo’s linen pants. Matteo rubbed Dave’s back with one hand while the other hand was running through Dave’s hair.
Once Dave calmed down enough, he sat up and pulled Matteo to also have his back on the wall. He then leaned his entire body onto Matteo’s. Dave sighed, sniffling in as Matteo reached for Dave’s hand, interlacing his dry hands with Dave’s scarred and bloodied ones.
”Do you want to talk about it?” Matteo asked carefully while rubbing his thumb against Dave’s.
“I just,” Dave paused, tears filling his eyes once more, “I’ve always wondered what I’ve done wrong to deserve this… as a kid I thought, ‘maybe God just doesn’t love me enough’,” he let out a self-pitying scoff, “I don’t know why it had to take her. It should’ve been me, not her. She was actually trying to make her life better, I was making mine worse.” The sound of the fire crackling filled the room. Dave suddenly registered the injuries on his arms, sitting up away from Matteo.
“Did I-“
”No, just yourself. Linda is getting the doctor.” Dave sighed, setting his head in his hands.
”I’m sorry, it gets bad like that sometimes.” Matteo put his hand on Dave’s shoulder as Dave looked up at him.
”You’re okay, I know it’s not easy. We will get through this together.” Dave put his head back in his hands.
“Thank you.” Matteo took his hand off of Dave’s shoulder.
Suddenly, Linda and Dr. Pierre ran into the room. Dave looked up, laying his arms shamefully onto his lap. Dr. Pierre climbed onto the bed, setting down the first aid kit next to her side and inspecting Dave's new injuries.
"Did you see what he did?" Dr. Pierre looked over at Matteo, and he nodded while taking in a deep breath.
"He was scratching at his arms." She looked back at Dave.
"I'm going to get you cleaned up, okay?" Dave nodded, reaching out his arms in front of himself shakily.
I'm going to be the death of myself before that Elephant can get to me.