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Asahi had never really stopped to look at Hiro's hands. The thought itself was weird, even.
Maybe it was the copious amounts of beer, or some random fascination, but he found his gaze straying to Hiro's hand wrapped around the karaoke microphone.
In short, they looked huge. Not in a bad way, maybe even in a good way. It just felt odd to notice new things about Hiro after they'd stuck together so many years. It made him wonder, what else had he neglected to notice?
Truthfully though, Asahi wouldn't even mean to stare at him, it just seemed as though his gaze was naturally drawn to Hiro. Well, he was their frontman after all. If anything, it was good that he could direct attention so effortlessly.
Yet, that brings him back to his earlier point. Hiro's hands wrapped completely around the microphone, his thumb overlapping his fingers by a good margin. Asahi looked down at his hand. His thumb barely touched the tip of his fingers from around the microphone. He felt a brief pang of jealousy, Hiro's hands would be perfect for playing guitar.
If those hands would be ideal for guitar, they're probably good at a lot of other things too.
With that thought, his mind strayed to something far more potent than jealousy could ever hope to be.
Asahi spared a glance at his own shorter fingers, nails painstakingly painted pitch black.
His eyes wandered back to Hiro's hands for comparison. His blood-red nail polish was chipped and obviously hastily applied, and yet the sight was so undeniably Hiro that he couldn't stop a fond feeling from finding a home within his chest.
After Hiro was done singing, Asahi decided to take a chance.
"Hiro-kun?”
Hiro hummed in acknowledgment, seeming antsy. He probably wanted to sing another song or start a livestream together, Asahi would have to remember to suggest it when he was finished with his little experiment.
Asahi wordlessly lifted his hand upwards. Palm up, the black hair tie on his wrist squeezing at his skin.
Hiro, always being one to play along, lifted his hand along in tandem.
Asahi stared at the staggering size difference in their hands. He had estimated, sure. But, seeing the difference in such clear detail made his stomach do catapults.
Hiro tilted his hand and pressed their palms flat against each other.
"Your hands are so small, Asahi,” Hiro laughed, almost too strongly for the situation. His body was leaned practically completely over the table.
Hiro's laugh was so infectious that Asahi returned it almost immediately.
“Your hands are just huge,” Asahi covered his mouth with his free hand. He wasn't wrong. Hiro's hands ended a full fingertips length after Asahi's.
Hiro took the opportunity to slot his fingers in between Asahi's. With a surprised cough, Asahi practically choked on his saliva.
Hiro ignored him, probably used to Asahi hacking up a lung due to his smoking, and started clicking through the karaoke bar's song selection.
During Asahi's coughing fit, their joined hands had migrated to the bench between them. Something about this positioning was undeniably more intimate than their hands being on the table. Maybe he was way too in his head. Hiro seemed content to keep their hands exactly where they were.
Yet, Hiro never seemed to care about propriety in general. Maybe this was one of those things that were so uniquely Hiro that he couldn't even pretend that it bothered him in any substantial way.
Although there were things he did that Asahi generally disliked. Like, disturbing people trying to go about their days in public. To Hiro's credit though, he usually stopped once Asahi threatened him.
He was thrown out of his thoughts by a sound from the karaoke TV indicating that Hiro had chosen a duet song for them.
With their microphones in one hand and clasping their hands together in the other, Asahi decided against bringing up that livestream idea to Hiro.
A few weeks after the karaoke incident, Asahi had convinced Hiro to allow him to come over to show him some demos he'd been working on.
He'd visited Hiro's apartment a few times since he moved in. But, Hiro didn't like having people over and it was cramped as is. Due to this, they usually ended up going to Maruko's or something. Asahi was desperate this time, though. Showing Hiro this demo over text or video call was not enough. He needed to be there and see his reaction in real-time.
When he knocked on the door, it took a moment of silence before anyone answered.
The door creaked open ominously before Hiro peeked at him through the crack in the door.
“I'm here,” Asahi greeted him in a casual but undeniably eager voice.
Hiro squinted at him through the door. "It's messy,” he informed him bluntly.
Did he think Asahi would care if his apartment was a little rough?
Hiro would happily show his messy room off to his stream viewers but Asahi was where he drew the line? Honestly, he was a little offended. He'd stayed through some of their worst moments. What made him think he'd leave now just because of a messy room?
Still, never one to let discomfort simmer for long, Asahi opted for a simple nod in acknowledgment. It wouldn't be fair to saddle Hiro with his overthinking when Asahi had been the one begging to come over in the first place.
Hiro opened the door fully to let Asahi in. Yes, the room was messy. Plastic bags covered almost every inch of the floor. But it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before.
He settled down next to Hiro's chair. Already loading up the demos on his phone. Hiro moved to plop down on his chair. Quieter than usual, maybe he was having an off day or something.
Asahi felt a little bad about insisting on this visit now, but it was better for Hiro to have company anyway, or so he tried to convince himself.
Asahi played the demo from his phone, Hiro leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
The unfinished song ended without fanfare. If he was being honest with himself, it made Asahi a little self-conscious. He'd only recently begun to give production his all. Hiro usually reacted more animated than this. Which is, well, nothing. Hiro hadn’t moved from his spot on the chair, not even by an inch.
Asahi swallowed his nerves and decided to continue on to another demo he had prepared to show Hiro.
This one went much the same way. His worry now taking over, Asahi put his hand on Hiro's shoulder.
"Hiro-kun?” He questioned in a low voice, only to be shocked by the realization that Hiro had fallen asleep. It had always amazed him how easily Hiro could fall asleep. It made sense why he’d seemed so off now, but he really would’ve appreciated a better warning.
Still, that familiar fond feeling bubbled up in his chest again. He reached a hesitant hand up to move Hiro's hair away from his eyes.
If Hiro really was that exhausted, Asahi really couldn't be too upset with him. He was definitely going to give him shit about it when he woke up though.
For now, Asahi decided the best option would be to scroll on his phone until Hiro woke up on his own. He felt too bad to wake him up or anything like that, as awkward as this whole encounter was.
After dutifully scrolling past a few annoying videos, Asahi exhaled and rested his head on the side of Hiro’s chair. He dropped his phone into his lap and his attention was drawn back to Hiro’s hand resting in his lap.
It had been a few weeks since they went to karaoke and nothing like that had happened again. Not that he was expecting it to, but part of him was a little disappointed. It felt so natural to hold hands with Hiro, like they’d be doing it their entire lives. Even though it had only been one instance.
He hesitantly pressed his hand over Hiro’s. Their skin only slightly touched, but something in him craved to see that difference again.
Maybe Asahi was being stupid, but part of him didn't care. If he was being honest with himself, he could admit that he wasn't able to get his mind off of the karaoke incident.
Hiro's firm, grounding grasp, their fingers interlocked… Not to mention the ever-present size difference in their hands. Asahi never considered or even thought that he'd enjoy being the smaller one in their little duo. No matter how in touch with femininity he was, he was still a man.
What man enjoyed being the smaller one? Well, him apparently.
But, he also couldn't deny that he only cared for it as much as he did because it was Hiro. He didn't know if he wanted to open that can of worms yet.
It only took a few more moments for Hiro to slowly blink awake, probably due to the added pressure of Asahi's hand in his.
Hiro blinked, bleary and a little confused.
"Asahi?” He called, seeming to remember what they were doing before he fell asleep.
Asahi didn't dare to move an inch, Hiro was still disoriented and hadn't noticed their hands yet. Or maybe he had? It seemed unbelievable that he hadn't.
"Was my demo that boring ?” Asahi asked, deciding to also ignore the elephant in the room.
To Asahi's ever growing shock, Hiro squeezed Asahi's hand before a pout bloomed from his lips.
"Sorry, Asahi, I'm sorry,” He muttered, as if begging for forgiveness.
This was far from the first time that Hiro had apologized for something in this manner. He knew that if he didn't stop it early, then Hiro would progress until he was practically groveling on the floor. which was way more embarrassing than it was worth.
"Don't worry about it,” Asahi brushed his apology off. "Pay attention this time and I'll forgive you.”
Hiro straightened in his seat, all the look of a diligent student. Asahi held back a snort.
As he reopened his phone to run the demo back, it occurred to him that their hands had stayed together the entire time.
This entire thing had come to a head a few more weeks later when SenketsuAkochan was preparing for a live show.
He and Hiro had naturally slipped into holding hands whenever they could after Asahi had visited his apartment. Before live shows, during practice, under the camera's view during their rare joint live streams, etcetera.
It was like they were begging for someone to say something about it. Tenmei had given them a few odd looks, but Maruko didn't seem too surprised, weirdly enough.
Well, it's not like he hadn't ignored some of Hiro's odd behavior himself, but now that Asahi was involved, he was sure someone would say something.
Yet, they continued to act like they knew something that Asahi didn't.
He loved his bandmates but things like these tended to be left unsaid, they operated in a sort of none of my business manner. Although he's complaining about it, he actually massively preferred it over how stifling some other band dynamics could be.
It's part of the reason he stuck with Hiro for so long. Being with Hiro meant freedom or something corny like that.
Really though, what could he do except try to ignore the elephant in the room? Hiro didn't seem to care as he was fiddling with some live equipment he probably wasn't supposed to be touching. So, Asahi would ignore it too.
Asahi refocused his attention on making sure that his guitar was 100% show ready.It would be a good idea to use rehearsal to check his instrument and actually rehearse instead of focusing on things that weren’t pressing.
It only took a few minutes of Asahi tuning his guitar for Hiro to trot up into his personal space. He stared at Asahi’s hand with barely concealed want.
For anyone who didn't know Hiro very well, he's sure it would've come off creepy. But obviously, Asahi knew now what he came for at this point.
With an indulgent roll of his eyes, Asahi held out his hand palm up.
Wasting no time, Hiro happily interlocked their fingers. Distantly, Asahi felt as if he were spoiling Hiro. If he didn’t enjoy this as much as Hiro did, he definitely would’ve put a stop to it by now.
With his free hand, Hiro reached over to paw at the strings of Asahi’s guitar like he did with Maruko.
He could’ve scolded him and told him to stop. He didn’t. He could’ve, probably should’ve, but he didn’t. “I just tuned that,” Asahi complained, his tone lacking any of his intended bite.
“I’m not even touching the pegs,” Hiro defended, as if he had any right to be touching Asahi’s guitar in the first place. Hiro was spoiled rotten, he was now sure of it.
Asahi only let out an all too fond-sounding huff in response. He couldn’t bring himself to get truly mad at Hiro nowadays.
“You should teach me how to play my guitar,” Asahi muttered, without thinking about his words.
Hiro squinted at him incredulously, his hand falling off of the guitar strings and coming to rest at his side. “You already know how to play guitar, are you stupid?”
“No– I mean,” Asahi cleared his throat, averting his eyes. “Your hands are good for it.”
However, this only managed to confuse Hiro even more.
"You can’t change the size of your hands, Asahi,” Hiro frowned, his browline furrowing as though he was thinking deeply. “And even if you could, I don’t think you should. It might make your hands all weird. There’s nothing wrong with them right now.”
Asahi blinked in confusion. It seemed like neither of them were on the same page. Did Hiro think he was insecure about his own hands? Maybe he had been for a brief moment, but not in the current one.
Still, Hiro so shamelessly defending his hands made Asahi’s heart jump against his will.
Asahi opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by one of the live house’ staff members calling for everyone’s attention.
He’d have to follow up with Hiro later if he could remember. Though, knowing them, this would be another issue they’d leave untouched.