Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A young man can be seen staring at a computer screen in a dark room. His eyes remain half-closed after a prolonged gaming session.

He notices the clock on his computer. “It’s already dark,” he says, finally deciding to take a break from his late-night activity.

He stands up from his chair, stretches his arms for a moment, and lets out a satisfied sigh.

The young man stays in deep thought for a while. Noticing that his snacks are all gone, he decides to do something about it.

“Maybe I’ll go out for a bit,” he said, heading to his closet to see what he could wear. As he rummaged through the clothes, his eyes landed on one particular outfit that made him chuckle just by looking at it.

It was a black synthetic jumpsuit with an orange stripe running down each arm and orange trim lining the high collar and zipper. A white panel covered the stomach area, standing out against the dark fabric. On the left chest, a black letter N was stamped, with an orange dot in the middle. The cuffs were elastic, giving it a snug, athletic fit.

There was nothing wrong with the jumpsuit itself—it was a fairly normal piece of clothing—but the context behind it was what made him laugh.

This was Natsuki Subaru’s jumpsuit—the one from the anime where the main character dies multiple times in just the first arc. He had bought the suit for a cosplay back in the day, mostly because his name was Natsuki Subaru, and people already called him that anyway. So, he figured, he might as well own it—or so he had thought.

He took out the jumpsuit along with the leg piece, laid it on his bed, then turned on the light and snapped a photo. He posted the picture to his Twitter account—which had over 100 followers, mostly school friends—with the caption:
"Going out to the convenience store tonight, rate my fit."

Almost immediately, his friends—who had been playing games with him not five minutes ago—started flooding the comments:

"Bro is NOT going back in one piece."

"Boutta get gutted in a loot house for a trinket."

"RIP for bro."

"Bro is gonna have to fight an assassin for that half-elf puss."

"He is not gonna make it out alive, gang."

"W fit, you’re gonna die though."

He chuckled again while reading the replies. This was exactly why he posted it—he knew they’d react like this.

Finally, he put on the jumpsuit and stepped outside his house, completely unaware of the things he was about to face in the near future.

“Actually…?” The boy looked around—at the place, the scenery, the atmosphere. It was high noon now, even though it had been nighttime just seconds ago.

“Actually?!” he repeated, patting his thigh in search of his phone, hoping to prove this was all just a prank. He felt the device in his pocket, pulled it out, and powered it on. The signal icon still glowed at the top of the screen, just as strong as before.

“Phew… I thought I was actually isekai’d for a second,” he muttered, letting out a breath of relief. If there was a phone signal here, then he was probably still in his own world—because there was no way there’d be internet service in another one.

He took a selfie, angling the camera to capture the scenery behind him. In the background, people were walking around—not just ordinary people, but demi-humans too. A wolf girl strolled by, followed by a lizard man, and more unusual beings passed as if it were perfectly normal.

He posted the selfie with the caption:
"Bro, where the f*ck am I?!"

Just like before, his friends flooded the comment section almost instantly:

"Naah bro is actually cooked."

"Where are you, gang?"

"No f*cking way this is real."

"Bro is cooked, fried, sautéed, with a side of fries."

"Nah bro fr. Where are you?"

This time, he didn’t have time to laugh at his friends’ comments. He quickly slipped his phone back into his pocket, deciding it was better to figure out where he was—or at the very least, gather some information.

“There’s no way this is real… right?” he muttered under his breath, eyes scanning the unfamiliar streets around him.

Subaru was now walking along a fairly busy street, still trying to process everything. Just a few minutes ago, he had witnessed what he could only describe as Compulsory Event #1—a kid nearly run over by a ground dragon, only to be dramatically saved at the last second by a passing knight.

Everything feels so real, he thought. Even the ground dragon looked like an actual animal… not horses in costume.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he looked up at the street—and immediately froze.

There, standing by a very familiar-looking Appa stand, was someone unmistakable.

No way, he thought, pulling out his phone again to take a quick picture.

"No way, is that Mr. Save-point-guy?" he posted.

The comments came flooding in within seconds:

"Naah bro is dead."

"How many times have you seen him?"

"Bro. FR. WHERE ARE YOU?"

"What language is that?"

"Bro there is no way."

He skimmed the comments with a half-smirk before slipping the phone back into his pocket.

Then, without hesitation, he walked up to confront Mr. Save-point-guy.

“Heya there, nii-chan. You want some Appa?” said Mr. Save-point-guy with a cheerful grin.

“Maybe… maybe later. But I really gotta ask, man—is this really Lugunica?” Subaru asked, cutting straight to the point. It could still be an elaborate prank, sure—but what kind of prank involved an entire city? It just didn’t make any sense.

“What? Are you a tourist?” the man replied, raising a brow. “Of course this is Lugunica! Where else would it be? Certainly not that icy wasteland they call Gusteko—or that barbarian dump, Volachia.”

Subaru stared at him, carefully analyzing every word, every expression.

No irregularities in his breathing.
His tone was natural, confident—like he was stating a universal truth.
There wasn’t a single hint of deceit in his voice.

'Either this guy is telling the truth and I actually got isekai’d…' Subaru thought, 'or he’s the most immaculate actor I’ve ever seen.'

But instead of trying to figure out whether it was real or not, Subaru did what any modern teen would do—he pulled out his phone and started recording.

He turned the camera toward himself and then pointed it at the Appa man.

“Can you tell me again where we are?” Subaru asked, glancing back at him.

The Appa man raised an eyebrow, clearly confused by the sudden request and the strange device pointed his way.

“This is Lugunica,” he said, a bit slower this time. “Not Gusteko, not Volachia, not Kararagi, or anywhere else. Now, are you gonna buy my Appa or not?!”

Subaru kept recording. Because if this wasn’t a prank… he wanted evidence.

“Alright, thanks man. Also—I have no money. See ya!” Subaru shouted before turning on his heels and dashing away from the stand, giggling like a kid caught stealing a cookie.

Behind him, the Appa man’s voice echoed down the street.

“Oi! Don’t waste my time if you’re not buying anything, ya punk!”

Subaru didn’t stop. He was too busy laughing to care, phone still in hand, recording everything.

Subaru now stood in a quiet, unsuspecting alleyway—phone in hand—scrolling through the flood of notifications. He had just posted the video of his encounter with the Appa man and was now casually replying to every comment he received.

"Where are you?"
"I don’t know."

"Is this real?"
"I don’t know."

"Have you died?"
"Not yet, fortunately."

"Have you met Emilia or the other cast?"
"I met Mr. Save-point-guy, but other than him, no."

"What are you doing now?"
"Waiting for Compulsory Event #2."

He hit send on the last reply, leaned back against the wall, and took a deep breath.
Whatever this was—it was getting weirder by the minute.

And just on cue, Compulsory Event #2 arrived.

A group of thugs swaggered into the alley like they owned the place—exactly as expected. One was tall and muscular, another lanky with a crooked grin, and the last was a short, scrappy-looking guy with something to prove.

“Well, well—” the tall one started menacingly.

“GUAAARDS!!” Subaru screamed at the top of his lungs, cutting him off mid-sentence.

He wasn’t about to play the hero. Not today.
He knew exactly how this route went, and there was no way he was fighting Elsa alone. Screw that.

If screaming for help would fast-forward him straight to Reinhard’s scripted save, then that’s exactly what he was gonna do.

All three thugs blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting their victim to call for the city watch before the mugging even started.

“HELP ME! OH GOD, THEY’RE GONNA KILL ME! HEEEELP!” Subaru screamed like a banshee, doing everything he could to draw as much attention as humanly possible.

“H-Hey! What are you doing?! We haven’t even done anything yet!” shouted the muscular thug, visibly thrown off.

“And you think I’m gonna wait until you do?! HEEEELP!” Subaru shrieked again, doubling down without hesitation.

The thugs looked visibly shaken, clearly unsure of how to handle the situation—no one had ever reacted like this before.

“Shit… should we just stab him?” the small guy muttered to the lanky one.

“Are you crazy? What if a guard actually shows up?” the lanky guy shot back, glancing around nervously.

“Then we bounce! This isn’t worth it,” the muscular thug chimed in, equally spooked. “Just teach him a lesson and get out of here!”

But before they could make a move—
A certain red-haired young man stepped into the alley, his pristine white-and-blue knight uniform practically glowing under the midday sun, a legendary sword gleaming at his side.

The thugs froze.

Subaru didn’t even look surprised.

'Scripted save achieved,' he thought, smugly.

“I came here after hearing a distress call,” said the red-haired young man, his voice calm but commanding. “Is there a problem here?”

Subaru glanced back at the group of thugs, a smug grin spreading across his face.

“I don’t know,” he said with a raised brow. “Is there?”

The thugs all took a step back, their bravado instantly crumbling the moment they got a good look at who had arrived.

“Shit… that’s the Sword Saint,” the small thug whispered, pale-faced.

“I told you this wasn’t worth it!” the muscular one shouted, already turning to run. “I’m outta here!”

“Wait! Wait for me!” the lanky guy cried as he scrambled after him.

And just like that—they were gone.

“Phew! Nice save, man. If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been toast,” Subaru said, grinning as he gave the red-haired knight a friendly pat on the back—like they were old friends.

Reinhard van Astrea, the Sword Saint himself.

Subaru’s favorite character from Re:Zero. A man burdened by the weight of the world, yet still managing to hold onto a heart full of justice.

The truth was—he didn’t have to do any of this. Reinhard could have walked away. With his power, he could’ve lived peacefully anywhere in the world, free from duty and expectation. He could’ve chased happiness, freedom, even love.

But instead, he chose to stay.
He chose to serve as the kingdom’s knight.
He let himself be bound by the Sage Council’s chains—reduced to a living weapon, the Kingdom’s loyal guard dog.

And even after all that, he remained righteous.

“You give me too much praise,” Reinhard said humbly. “I’m sure they only ran because they were afraid to fight the two of us together.”

“Maybe,” Subaru replied with a shrug. “They are just common thugs, after all. But the truth is, without you, I wouldn’t have been able to handle them. So… thanks for that.” He gave Reinhard a sincere smile.

“In that case,” Reinhard said with a warm nod, “you’re welcome.”

“Anyway!” Subaru suddenly interjected, shifting the mood. “I didn’t call for guards just because of those thugs. See, I stumbled on some info—apparently a deadly assassin is hiring a local thief to steal a royal insignia. I figured that’s kind of important, so I was gonna report it to the guards, but…”

He paused.

Reinhard raised an eyebrow. “And what’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know where the guard post is,” Subaru replied instantly, deadpan.

The Sword Saint stood silently, processing the young man's words. Behind his calm expression, thousands of divine protections activated—working in tandem to assess whether this strange boy was lying, telling the truth, or simply insane.

What they found was… surprising.

The young man was telling the truth.
But not all of it.

“Then it seems fortune must have smiled upon me,” Reinhard finally said. “Such a serious offense cannot be allowed to unfold.”

“Indeed it can’t, my friend,” Subaru agreed, nodding seriously. “Though… I don’t know exactly where the thief and assassin are planning to meet. I think it was some sort of loot house? You know, the kind of place where thieves sell off their haul.”

He kept his tone vague, deliberately so. He couldn’t just blurt out everything he knew. Not without blowing the whole “I totally belong here” act.

“I see. A loot house,” Reinhard echoed, closing his eyes for a brief moment in thought.

Then, suddenly, he opened them—his expression calm, confident, and focused.

“Looks like the loot house is that way,” he said, pointing decisively in a random direction.

“…How do you know that?” Subaru asked, blinking.

“I have a Divine Protection that guides me to my destination, even if I don’t know where it is,” Reinhard replied, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Subaru stared at him for a few seconds, expression blank.

He knew Reinhard’s powers were broken—bullshit incarnate, really—but seeing it in action still hit different.

“…Okay then,” Subaru muttered, already preparing himself mentally for the nonsense that was surely yet to come.

And suddenly—
Ring-ring-ring!

A sharp, unfamiliar sound echoed through the alley. Reinhard turned, alert, his eyes landing on Subaru as the young man fished a strange rectangular device out of his pocket.

“Oh shit,” Subaru muttered, glancing at the screen before putting it to his ear.

“Hello?” he said into the device.

#Subaru! Where are you?!#
A loud voice bursts from the device’s speaker, making Subaru flinch and yank it away from his ear for a second.

“Mom?! Oh great, we can still call each other from here!” he replied, both relieved and confused. “I don’t know, Mom! I don’t know where I am!”

Reinhard watched curiously, analyzing the exchange. It seemed to be some sort of communication media—one that allowed people to speak over distances.

Not exactly uncommon, but definitely expensive—devices like that were typically reserved for nobles or the wealthy.

#What do you mean you don’t know?!# the voice crackled from the device. #I saw your tweet! Are you at some anime convention or something? Why is it so bright?#

'The voice… it sounds worried,' Reinhard noted, silently observing the strange object. It must be some kind of long-range communication metia.

“No, Mom! I don’t know—I just blinked and now I’m here! It’s way too real to be a prank, and everything’s playing out exactly like the anime!”

Subaru suddenly perked up and turned to Reinhard. “Look! I even have the Sword Saint with me!”

Hearing his title, Reinhard’s curiosity was piqued. Just who was this young man?

“Hold on, I’m switching to a video call,” Subaru said as he tapped the device a few times.

And then—
A glowing image appeared on the screen. A camera feed.

“Look, Mom! Look! It’s Reinhard!” Subaru beamed as he stepped closer to the red-haired knight, angling the screen so both of them were visible.

Reinhard had absolutely no idea what was happening—but people sometimes acted like this around him, so he simply smiled politely and gave a small wave to the glowing metia.

On the screen, a woman with brown hair and a strange, modern-looking dress stared back at them. Her eyes were shaped just like Subaru’s—slightly slanted, full of concern.

#Is he a cosplayer? He looks spot on.# Subaru’s mom asked, squinting at Reinhard.

“No, Mom! It’s actually him! I actually got isekai’d! How do you explain that?” Subaru pointed his device toward the sky.

#The sun?#

“Yes! How is there a sun right now? This is like—what? 1 A.M. back home!” he said, gesturing wildly. “That’s not normal!”

#Maybe you got kidnapped to another country?#

“And is that better?!”

#Yes! Because at least we could get to you with a plane! How are we supposed to bring you back if you’re in another world?!#  his mother cried out, her voice laced with panic. It was clear now—she wasn’t being skeptical out of logic, but out of fear. Denial was all she had left.

#And how do you even have phone signals if you actually got isekai’d?!#

“That’s the thing—I don’t know!” Subaru snapped, equally frustrated. “None of this makes sense! But look, I am here. And if this is real—someone’s going to die. We’re heading to the loot house now to stop that.”

He paused for a breath.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

On the screen, his mother’s eyes widened in fear.

#The loot house?! Then you’re going to fight—#

“Bye, Mom! See you later!” Subaru quickly cut her off before she could spiral any further, ending the call with a tap.

He sighed, lowering the phone. Everything is just so weird.

Subaru glanced back at the confused Sword Saint behind him. “Sorry about that. My mom’s… a bit worried about my current situation.”

“I understand,” Reinhard replied gently. “Your family must be deeply concerned, given that you’re now in a foreign world.”

Subaru flinched slightly. “O-oh… right. You heard that.”

“I apologize,” Reinhard said sincerely, bowing his head slightly. “You were speaking quite loudly, so I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. I hope you can forgive me.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Subaru replied with a small, tired chuckle. “We Natsukis can be a little loud sometimes.”

He took a deep breath. “But yeah… I’m from another world. I don’t know how I got here or how to get back. All I do know is that someone’s going to die today, and I want to stop it.”

Saying it out loud felt… relieving. Like unloading a weight he’d been carrying all day through confusion, panic, and disbelief.

“That’s a noble thing to do,” Reinhard said, his tone filled with quiet admiration. “Especially when you yourself are clearly troubled. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

Subaru stared ahead for a moment, then gave a faint smile.

“I am… I will be… I don’t know.” He sighed. “Let’s just get to the loot house for now.”

Reinhard nodded and turned, beginning to lead the way—his pace steady, his presence reassuring.

Subaru followed, hoping that his fate will be different from his anime counterpart.

Wazzuuuuuuuuup! Sorry that I haven't updated my loveless fic in a while. Looks like I am not gonna update that thing again because seeing Subaru died that many times is not good for my mental health.

So I made this. Basically just Subaru being not actually Subaru but Subaru that have seen Subaru from Subaru's show and was turned into actual Subaru. Weird, I know.

With a smartphone. Magical smartphone that can connect to the internet back to his old world. I don't know how this will affect the world. I mean there is actual video evidence of someone getting Isekai'd on the internet. Do you think the government will try and get some answers from him? Idk

This fic is inspired by a meme I see on YouTube. It's basically this :

But the caption say "Going out to the convenience store. Rate my fit"

And the comment sections were all saying that he is cooked. He is going to die.

Chapter Text

Two young men made their way through the bustling streets, passing civilians of all ages as they headed toward their destination.

One of them walked with quiet authority, clad in a pristine white-and-blue knight uniform—the unmistakable garb of the Kingdom of Lugunica’s Sword Saint, Reinhard van Astrea.

The other was… less famous, to say the least.

A black-haired young man wearing a strange synthetic jumpsuit, his slanted eyes focused intently on a glowing rectangular device in his hands. His thumbs moved rapidly across the screen like a man possessed.

“Someone tell my teacher I can’t go to school tomorrow. I have to save a princess,” he tweeted, attaching a selfie of himself walking through the medieval streets of Lugunica.

As expected, his followers instantly flooded the comments:

"Alright Mario."

"Bro it’s 2 a.m., what kind of anime convention is still open this late?"

"Are you actually isekai’d? Blink if yes."

"No pic hoax."
"He literally sent the pic."

"Simp"

The young man chuckled, amused by their reactions, then glanced up from his screen to take in his surroundings.

The two young men now found themselves walking through a less prosperous part of the city. The air felt heavier here—thicker, damp with the scent of mildew and sweat. A faint musk clung to everything, like the streets themselves hadn’t been washed in weeks.

But the atmosphere was nothing compared to the sight of the street.

People—dozens of them—lined the sides of the road. Dirty, bruised, slumped against walls or curled on scraps of cloth. Flies hovered around them, undisturbed. Some were clearly injured. Others looked barely alive, their bodies thin, eyes dull from hunger and hopelessness.

The black-haired young man slowed his steps.

He had seen things like this before—clips online, short documentaries of war-torn children in parts of Europe or the Middle East.
But that had always been through a screen, a world away.
A swipe up. A scroll past. Easy to disassociate. Easy to forget.

It’s not my country, he used to think.

But now… seeing it up close, breathing the same air, walking among them—it felt different.
Real.

Something tugged at his chest. A dull, quiet ache.
Guilt, maybe. Or helplessness.
Whatever it was, it was enough to make him lower his phone and just look.

“What a sad sight,” Subaru murmured under his breath.

But Reinhard heard him.

“Yes,” the Sword Saint replied quietly. “After the recent civil war, many were forced to flee their homes and migrate here. And with the kingdom’s current state… even more end up in places like this.”

“Isn’t there any help from the kingdom? Like… food stamps, or shelters, or something?” Subaru asked, a faint hope in his voice.

“There is,” Reinhard nodded, “but it's nowhere near enough. Resources are limited, and bureaucracy slows everything down. The aid barely scratches the surface.”

Subaru fell silent, eyes scanning the street once more.

He wanted to feel angry. Sad. Even outraged.
But all he felt was powerless.

There’s nothing I can do for them, he told himself. Not right now.

He tightened his grip on his phone, pushing the feeling down.

There was something else—someone else—he had to save first.
And standing around, lamenting the unfairness of the world, wouldn’t help anyone.

“…Let’s keep moving,” he said at last, his voice low.

Reinhard nodded without a word, and they continued on.

“I think we need a plan,” Subaru said as he walked. “I mean, we can’t just charge in and hope everything goes well… can we?”

He glanced up at Reinhard, though if he was being honest, as long as they actually ran into the assassin, Reinhard could absolutely handle it. Elsa was dangerous, sure—but compared to the Sword Saint?

It wouldn’t even be a fair fight.

The real problem was if they ran into her.

In canon, Elsa was bold—sometimes even suicidal in the way she threw herself into fights. But was she stupid enough to go toe-to-toe with Reinhard Van Astrea?

Probably not. I mean, she did challenge him in canon but I think it was more of her doubling down since people already saw her, and they are already fighting so might as well. Y'know?

But now, she could easily recognize the threat and just flee the moment she saw him. And if that happened... things would spiral fast.

Because then it wouldn’t just be Elsa.
It would be Meili. Capella.
And the rest of that assassin network working under the Archbishop of Lust.

Subaru shuddered.

Yeah, no thanks. I’m not dealing with all that until I know how to actually protect myself.

One disaster at a time.

“What do you suggest?” Reinhard asked, glancing sideways at Subaru.

“Hmmm,” Subaru hummed, stroking his chin as if deep in thought.

In truth, he already knew the plan. Years of reading fanfiction had prepared him for almost any scenario like this. The perfect route had already been imagined, written, and optimized—he just had to follow it.

“I think we should ambush them,” Subaru said confidently. “I’ll be the bait, obviously. I’ll act like I’m some rival buyer—someone who wants the stolen insignia and is willing to outbid whoever the thief originally made a deal with.”

Reinhard listened intently as Subaru continued.

“You, on the other hand, will need to wait somewhere close—far enough to stay out of sight, but not so far that it takes too long to reach us,” Subaru explained. “And when the assassin shows up—or if things start going sideways—I’ll give you a signal, and you jump in and handle the rest.” He finished with a self-satisfied nod, like he’d just crafted a masterclass strategy.

In reality, he’d read that exact plan in a fic few years ago.
But hey—if it worked, it worked.

“I see,” Reinhard nodded thoughtfully. “It sounds like a solid plan for this situation. I’m impressed you were able to come up with it so quickly.”

“Ahaha, right?” Subaru laughed, trying to play it cool. “Even I was surprised by what I’m capable of.”

He resisted the urge to look away.
No way he was going to admit that he shamelessly stole the idea from a fanfic.
Somewhere out there, a bored teenager writing AU scenarios had just unknowingly saved a royal candidate from assassination.

“But there’s one thing we need to figure out first,” Reinhard said, snapping Subaru out of his thoughts. “What exactly is the signal you’ll use?”

Subaru paused, then shrugged. “What about ‘AAAAA!!!’? That’s loud enough, right?”

Reinhard tilted his head. “It would work… but it sounds exactly like a distress call. The assassin might catch on that you’re trying to get help.”

“Hmm… good point,” Subaru admitted, then suddenly perked up. “Okay, how about—‘MUSTAAAAARD!’”

Reinhard blinked. “What’s a mustard?”

“Exactly!” Subaru grinned. “You don’t know what it is, so people in this world won’t either. It’ll just sound like random nonsense—perfect for catching you off guard without tipping anyone else off.”

He gave a smug little wink. “Once again, my otherworldly knowledge comes in clutch.”

Reinhard smiled, clearly amused. “Very well. ‘Mustard’ it is.”

The of them continue their walk to their destination, soon they will reach it and the event will start to unravel.

"Oh, One more thing" Subaru suddenly stopped

"Can we do a selfie?"

“Subaru? Subaru?!”

In a modest house lit by warm lamplight, a pair of parents stood side by side, concern written all over their faces. The mother clutched her phone tightly, raising her voice in frustration and fear.

Their son had been gone far too long—just to grab some snacks from the convenience store—and there was still no sign of him returning.

They checked his tweet for any updates.
And what they saw only made things worse.

A photo—clearly taken by Subaru—showed him surrounded by what looked like people in incredibly realistic furry costumes. So realistic, in fact, that they both hesitated.

“Are those... costumes?” his father asked, squinting at the screen.

The mother didn’t respond. She wasn’t sure either.

But of course, it couldn’t be real… right?

They had named their son Subaru because they both loved the stars. It was the name of their favorite constellation—simple, meaningful.

They never could’ve imagined that, years later, someone would make an anime with a main character who shared his exact name.

And not just the name—the resemblance was uncanny.

Sure, their Subaru had only been nine years old when the show first aired, and the character in the anime was seventeen. But even then, they could see it. The messy black hair, the way he scowled when confused, the overly dramatic way he talked when he was excited or emotional—it was all too similar.

Years passed, and the three of them watched the show together as a family.
Even with its dark, sometimes gruesome moments, they genuinely enjoyed it. The themes of perseverance and growth struck a chord with all of them.

The main character—thrown into a cruel world and forced to start over again and again—never gave up. No matter how bad things got, he kept moving forward. It was inspiring.

So inspiring, in fact, that their Subaru gradually started talking like him.
Dramatic pauses. Over-the-top speeches. The occasional exaggerated pose.

And then season 2 came out.

That’s when things started to get really unsettling.

Because in that season, the show finally introduced the main character’s parents.

And they looked exactly like them.

Not just a passing resemblance—exactly the same.
Same names. Same hairstyles. Same mannerisms, voices, even the way they dressed. It was like watching 2D versions of themselves come to life on screen.

The first time they saw it, they just sat in stunned silence. It was surreal. Unnerving.

Almost like someone had watched them from afar and animated their lives without asking.

But, you know… they let it slide.

It was just a show.

So what if the characters looked like them? A lot of people looked a lot like a lot of people. It was just one of those weird coincidences. Nothing to overthink.

Their son felt the same way. He shrugged it off like they did, chalking it up to a strange fluke.
In fact, he leaned into it—joking with his friends about getting Isekai’d, throwing around references like he was the protagonist himself.

He even went so far as to buy the main character’s tracksuit—the iconic black-and-white outfit that got transported into another world along with him.

They all laughed about it.
It was a joke.
It was a coincidence.
It wasn’t real.

But now?

Now they were staring at a tweet from their son… standing in broad daylight, in a place that definitely wasn’t their town.
Surrounded by people who didn’t look human.

And suddenly, the thought hit them like a truck:

What if it wasn’t just a joke? What if it was never a coincidence?

What if their son actually got Isekai’d?

No.
There was no way… right?

Their phone buzzed again—another tweet from their son.

It was a selfie. He was standing in front of an old wooden door, worn with age and slightly crooked on its hinges. A door that looked far too familiar to the Natsuki parents.

The caption read:
"Alright guys. Moment of truth. Wish me luck."

They stared at the screen in silence.

Tonight had already been too strange, too heavy, too unreal. But now?

Now it felt like they were watching their son walk into something they couldn’t follow. They couldn't protect him from.

It had been a long night for the Natsuki family.

And it's not over yet.

Wazzuuuuuuuuup. Sorry that this chapter is a bit short, it's because I wanted to put all the action and stuff like that on the next chapter. Which hopefully will be done by tomorrow.

Today my work has been really busy, so I only have time occasionally to write a few thousand words and thought 'you know what? This is enough for one chapter a day.' Soooo here you go, I guess?

The next chapter will hopefully be the end of arc 1. I am not gonna stretch this too much because that will be boring.

Anyway, I love all of your comments. Every single piece of idea that you gave me is actually shaping this world as I typed it.

At first I was like "Okay, so it's just Subaru-who-is-not-really-Subaru-but-is-still-Subaru-either-way"

And someone commented "well if this is real. What else is real?" And now I have to think about what the fuck is actually happening.

How can Subaru be real? who is Tappei? is magic real? Is every creator in that world secretly just a psychic? My head hurts.

But don't worry, I already have a note on what is actually going on and I am not gonna spoil you guys on it.

Anyway, That's that. See ya later!

Chapter Text

Subaru stood in front of the wrecked looking loot house, phone in hand while reading some of the comments his friends left on his post

“bro is dead.”

“Alright, nice knowing ya buddy.”

“Do the Pride route and bag Elsa.”
    “She’s a mass murderer.”
        “Do I look like I care?”

Once again, Subaru couldn’t help but laugh at the comments flooding in. Even now—standing in front of a door that might as well lead straight into a boss fight—his friends were still the same chaotic idiots they’d always been.

Moments like this… they kept him sane.
No matter how bizarre things had gotten today, at least something never changed.

“Alright, no more lollygagging,” Subaru muttered, steeling himself for what was ahead.

He slapped his cheeks lightly, then did a quick pom-pom motion with his fists—his own weird way of hyping himself up.

Approaching the door, he raised his hand and knocked twice.

“Moshi mosh!!! Keisatsu desu~!!!” he yelled, stringing together nonsense Japanese with a grin.

And then he knocked again. Hard.
Loud enough that it sounded like he was trying to break the door down.

“Moshi moshi!!!” he kept shouting between knocks, rattling the old wood.

From the other side, a gruff voice finally shouted back.

“Calm down already! You’re breaking my damn door!”

Subaru paused, hearing the low grumble of a man muttering, “Damn brat…” under his breath.

Subaru grinned.
Target acquired.

Suddenly, the voice behind the door called out again:

“To the Rats?”

“Oooh! I know this one…” Subaru’s eyes lit up. He definitely recognized the password for the loot house—it was from that one scene ages ago. “God, what was it again? Hold on, let me Google it.”

Because of course he wasn’t going to remember something he watched eight years ago. Why use brain cells when search engines exist?

“Wait a secoooond,” he said, drawing it out as he pulled out his phone and started typing.

Felt and Rom’s password for the loothouse .

He hit search.

And—of course—Google decided to be difficult today. Instead of a quick, clean answer, it dropped him into Chapter 17 of Witch Cult Translations. Which, by the way, was not where the password was.

There was a Reddit link, too.
Something about “a harpoon for the white whale,” and a deep dive into swordsmanship lore that quickly spiraled into a wall of yada yada yada—it's not the password

“Do I seriously have to read an entire chapter just for a password?” Subaru groaned, glaring at his phone like it had personally betrayed him.

“Do you know the password or not?” the voice behind the door called out again, sounding increasingly impatient. “You’re taking a long time back there.”

“Be patient, man! I know I wrote it down somewhere, just hold on a minute!” Subaru snapped, voice rising with frustration as he frantically scrolled through his phone.

“…Screw it. I’m asking AI.”

He pulled up his favorite AI app, typed in the same question—Felt and Rom’s password for the loot house—and waited with bated breath.

The response popped up:
“The red ogre cries,” said Felt. “The blue ogre laughed,” said Rom.

Subaru stared at the screen.
“…What the hell is this nonsense?”

Even without remembering the real answer, he knew that wasn’t it. That was easily the dumbest answer he’d ever seen from an AI and it's not even close.

“Damn it!” he growled, smacking his forehead.

“You okay back there?” Rom called out from inside.

“I am! Shut up for a second!” Subaru barked, completely unfairly, but too stressed to care.

He glared back down at his phone.
“Damn it,” he muttered again, under his breath.

At this point, Subaru gave up on AI and decided to go old-school:
Speed-reading.

He pulled up the fan translation archive and began scanning through chapter titles, trying to remember which Return by Death loop the password had first been mentioned in.

“Was it the third? No… second loop. Yeah, second,” he thought, furiously scrolling.

“‘Negotiation at the Loot House’... No, no, that’s loop four, I think.”
“‘Negotiation in the Slum’? Nope.”
“‘Because He Is the Sword Saint’... Definitely not.”

His eyes darted through chapter after chapter, scanning faster than ever before.

“‘The Consequences of Loose Lips’? …Is this it?”

He tapped into the chapter and skimmed the text like a madman.
His eyes burned. His brain begged for mercy.
And—

Nope.

Not this one either.

He let out a frustrated wheeze. “I’m gonna die because I can’t remember a password from an anime I watched in elementary school…”

“I’m starting to run out of patience here, kid,” the gruff voice barked again from behind the door.

Subaru groaned, rubbing his temple. “Yeah? Well, I’m starting to run out of sanity, so join the club!”

And then—finally—he found it.

“This is it!” he shouted, eyes wide as he stared at the screen. “Chapter 9?! Why the hell would Google send me to chapter 17?!”

He pumped a fist in the air triumphantly, still grumbling about Google’s utter betrayal.

Reinvigorated, he turned toward the door. “Alright! I got it! Hit me with the password prompt, big guy!”

“Finally,” Rom muttered. “I almost fell asleep waiting for you, brat.”

“Yeah, yeah. Beauty sleep. You’re glowing like a star. Hit me.”

The old man huffed. “Kids these days…”

But still, he humored him.

“For the Rats?” Rom asked.

“Poison,” Subaru replied with confidence.

“For the Skeleton?”

“Oh, we’re going with this version? Nice. A pitfall.”

“To the Noble Dragon, we are?”

“Shitbags,” Subaru said, still unsure what that even meant. “Which, by the way, I still have no idea what that means”

There was a pause.

Then came the sound of locks clicking and heavy bolts sliding open.

Rom cracked the door and stared at the kid, mildly impressed.

“…Alright, come in.”

Subaru smirked. “thank you, Google. And thank you Wiiii........” He gradually went quiter, the name of the site on the tip of his tongue.

Then he remembered.

Witch Cult Translations.

Yeah… maybe not something he should be shouting in the middle of Lugunica.

He cleared his throat. “...Nevermind.”

Rom squinted at him. “What?”

“Nothing. Just… thanking my sources.”

Rom muttered something about “weird kids and their weird phrases” as he opened the door wider.

Subaru stepped in with a grin, proud of surviving yet another completely avoidable crisis.

“So,” the old giant grumbled, his voice coarse like sandpaper as he shut the door behind Subaru. “What do you want? And how the hell do you know the password?”

Subaru took a breath, trying to play it cool.

“Well… to answer that…” he said, raising a hand and gesturing dramatically, “I have to go from the very beginning–”

“—And now I’m here. Talking to you,” Subaru finished, arms spread like a stage performer wrapping up his monologue.

Rom sat there, speechless, staring at the boy like he had grown a second head.

“So let me get this straight,” the old giant finally said, voice low and gruff. “You came from another world… read a story about this world… got teleported into this world… and now you’re trying to stop an assassin that may or may not exist?”

“Exactly,” Subaru nodded.

“There’s no actual proof this is going to happen?”

“Nope. None at all.”

Rom raised an eyebrow.

“But,” Subaru added, holding up a finger, “on the off chance it does happen, I figured I might as well do something. If I’m wrong, cool, I wasted all our time. But if I’m right—hey—I technically save everybody’s asses.”

Rom stared at him for another long second.

Then sighed.

Loudly.

Without another word, the old man walked over to the corner, grabbed a half-full bottle, and poured himself a drink.

Rom took a long, deliberate swig straight from the bottle, eyes squinting like he was trying to physically compress Subaru’s explanation into something that made sense.

“…And where’s this Sword Saint you keep talking about?” he asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “He’s not gonna be much help if he’s halfway across the city.”

“I don’t know,” Subaru said with a shrug. “I told him to hide somewhere nearby so we could ambush the assassin, but, uh… we didn’t exactly specify where.”

Rom stared at him.

“It’s fine!” Subaru quickly added. “We’ve got a signal. If anything goes wrong, we just yell ‘Mustard!’ and he’ll jump in.”

Rom blinked. “Mustard?”

“Yup. It’s a food dressing from my world. Yellow. Tangy. You guys wouldn’t know it.”

Rom muttered something unintelligible under his breath and took another sip.

Meanwhile, Subaru casually pulled out his phone and checked the screen.

A wall of missed calls and messages from Mom and Dad lit up his notifications.

‘…Oh right,’ Subaru thought as he stared at the screen. I muted them.

“Well,” Rom said, setting the bottle down with a thud, “you’re free to wait here for Felt, I guess. If what you said actually happens… we might need all the backup we can get.”

He turned, grabbed a dusty bottle from behind the bar, and poured a generous splash into a glass.

“Here. On the house,” the old man offered.

“Ooh, thank you!” Subaru accepted it gratefully, lifting the glass with both hands like it was a sacred gift. He took a sip—

“Bwah! Cough—” Subaru gagged, nearly dropping the glass. “What the hell is this?!”

“Alcohol,” Rom said flatly, not even looking at him.

“It tastes like fire!”

“Yup,” Rom replied with a shrug. “That’s what cheap alcohol tastes like.”

Subaru wiped his tongue with his sleeve. “Tastes like my throat just got mugged.”

Rom chuckled under his breath. “You’ll live. Maybe.”

Instead of risking another sip of the throat-scorcher Rom called alcohol, Subaru pushed the glass away and pulled out his phone.

Time to check in with the folks.

He turned it on and squinted at the screen, inspecting it more closely than usual.

‘Since it’s somehow still connected to the internet back home… I think it’s safe to assume this thing is magic now,’ he thought. He glanced at the battery icon.

100%.

‘It hasn’t gone down even one percent this whole time. So I don’t need to charge it anymore? Yeah... definitely magic.’

Satisfied, he tapped to call his mom.

“Hello—”

#SUBARU!!!#

Not even a full word in, and his ear nearly exploded from his mother’s voice screaming through the speaker.

#Oh my god, are you okay?! Is Elsa gone?! Where are you?!# His mother’s voice burst through the speaker in a rapid-fire panic.

“I’m okay, Mom! I’m okay!” Subaru quickly reassured her. “Elsa’s not even here yet!”

There was a noticeable sigh of relief from the other end.

“I’m with Old Man Rom right now. And let me tell you—the anime did not do him justice. This man is huge.”

“Who are you calling huge?!” Rom barked from across the room, glaring without much heat.

Subaru chuckled. “See?”

#We’re glad you’re safe, son,# his father chimed in this time, calm but clearly concerned. #But do you have to be there when Elsa shows up? Can’t you just let the Sword Saint deal with it?#

“No, Because that leads to the Pride Route,” Subaru replied flatly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “And I am not doing that.”

The three of them—mother, father, and son—continued talking for a while. Catching up, asking questions, trying to piece together how something this insane could even be real.

For a moment, despite everything, it felt a little normal.

#When you meet that black-veiled witch, hand her the phone.# Subaru’s mom said sweetly—too sweetly.
#I have a few things to say about improper courting.#

The sugary tone didn’t mask the blade underneath. Even through the phone, the threat was crystal clear.

“Y-yeah, well, um… good luck with that,” Subaru stammered, sweat forming on the back of his neck.
There wasn’t anything else he could say to that.

“Anyway, Mom… I’m sorry.” Subaru’s voice dropped, quieter, more sincere. “This all just… happened out of nowhere. And I don’t know if I can ever come back.”

He took a shaky breath.

“I’ll call you guys every day, I promise. Maybe you can tell the police or something—I don’t know. I really don’t. I don’t know what I’m doing here, but I’ll try my best. I’ll try to live… and not die.”

The words came out heavier than he expected, like a weight he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying finally slid off his chest.

Sure, he’d laughed. He’d joked. He’d played it cool—like this was some grand adventure. Like he was the protagonist of some game he’d already seen the walkthrough for.

But deep down… he was scared.

What if he didn’t have Return by Death? What if dying here meant really dying—no reset, no second chance?

This world wasn’t like his own. It was cruel, unpredictable, and dangerous in ways a screen could never convey. And if he was stuck here… that meant no more seeing his friends in person. No more casual weekends. No more taste of his mom’s cooking.

Maybe he'd still get to see them through the phone… maybe. But even that felt like a fragile miracle.

From the other end of the line, he heard his mother begin to cry. Quiet, heartbroken sobs that made his chest tighten.

Thank god it’s not a video call, Subaru thought bitterly.
Because if he had to see her like that… he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold it together.

“But hey!” Subaru suddenly perked up, his voice shifting back to its usual upbeat tone. “On the bright side—we know magic exists here! And if the anime was right, then I’ve actually got the right elemental affinity for space-time magic!”

He grinned, trying to sound excited—like this was just another twist in a game he already knew how to play.

“I’ll figure something out, okay? Maybe through magic, or… something else. But I promise—I will find a way back.”

His voice cracked just slightly as tears welled up in his eyes. He tried to blink them away, to laugh through the tightness in his throat.

Damn it, he thought bitterly, I’m not built for this sappy crap.
He was supposed to be the Isekai nerd, the guy who dreamed of fantasy adventures and overpowered MCs—not... this.

And just in time to spare him from saying something truly pathetic, a knock echoed at the door of the loot house.

Subaru quickly wiped his eyes.

“Saved by the bell,” he muttered. Preparing himself to explain his circumstances once again.

"You’re lying."

"Nope. It’s official."

"You have to be lying."

The first thing Felt noticed when she returned home after finishing her job was a weird-looking guy sitting on a stool at her gramps' bar.

Which was strange—because this bar hadn’t had a normal customer in ages.

And apparently, this one wasn’t normal either.

"Me? A royal candidate? Do you even hear yourself?"

"Hey, it’s not my fault your kingdom picks its rulers based on a glowing rock."

This guy—this person—had just told her, straight to her face, that she was supposedly the fifth candidate for the throne of the entire freaking kingdom.

Along with some dragon-crap about her business partner being an assassin out to kill her— but that's not important right now.

"This gem? This gem decides who can rule a kingdom? Seriously?" she asked again, needing to confirm the absolutely bonkers law of her own homeland.

Then again, the nobles had always been weird so, Of course they’d do something like this.

And the boy just nodded at her—didn’t even say anything to confirm the crazy thing he just dropped on her.

Felt felt like she was going to lose her mind if she kept listening to him, so instead, she plopped herself down on the stool next to him and sighed.

"Give me a drink, old man. I need something strong to help process all this."

"Not a chance."

"Tch."

She had hoped she could finally sneak some alcohol using this as an excuse, but her grumpy old grandpa was still as uptight as ever.

She was fifteen, a full adult by this kingdom’s standards. And yet, he still wouldn’t let her have a taste of liquor.

"Here’s yours," Rom muttered, pouring her a glass of milk instead.

‘Oh well. Better than nothing,’ she thought, taking the glass with a resigned huff.

“So, about this assassin…” Felt suddenly spoke again. “Is she really not gonna pay me for my job?”

“What part of ‘she’s an assassin’ do you not understand?” the black-haired young man shot back, answering her question with one of his own.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Lots of criminals still keep their word when dealing with each other. Y’know, ‘honor among thieves’ and all that.”

“That's true. if she were a thief. She’s not. She’s an assassin. Again.” he repeated, hoping it would finally sink in.

Felt slumped a bit, clearly disappointed. That juicy ten holy coins reward? Not happening.

“Fine! I guess this is worthless then,” Felt grumbled, pulling out the stolen gem and staring at the soft glow radiating from it. “And I almost died getting it too.”

“What?” Rom snapped his head toward her, clearly alarmed. “What do you mean almost died?”

“Yeah, the bitch threw a bunch of icicles at me. Good thing I’m fast enough to dodge 'em,” Felt said with a shrug, ending her explanation with a sigh. All that effort, and for what? Nothing.

“Yeah, that’s Emilia for ya,” Subaru chuckled at her story, finding it funny despite the danger. Rom looked more concerned, but after checking her over and seeing no injuries, he eased up a little.

“And since she has this gem,” Felt began, narrowing her eyes at the glowing stone, “that means she’s also one of the candidates for the throne, right?”

“Yup,” Subaru confirmed with a nod. “So technically, you’re gonna be her rival in this whole ‘ruler of the kingdom’ business.”

“Hah!” Felt scoffed, leaning back and waving him off. “As if I’d ever be king of this shitty kingdom. They’d probably kick me out of the race the second they found out who I really am.”

She said it with a bitter laugh, but there was a weight behind her words. She knew exactly how the nobles would react to a slum rat like her trying to wear a crown.

“Yeah, well, you’re probably right,” Subaru said bluntly. “Those nobles are absolutely gonna lose their minds when they find out someone like you got chosen.”

He didn’t sugarcoat it—he’d seen how they reacted in the anime. “Slum rat” was the nicest thing they said.

“But y’know,” he continued, leaning in with a sly grin, “don’t you think it’d be kinda fun? Watching them completely lose it, knowing they can’t do a damn thing about it?”

Felt raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you were chosen by the Dragon—the same Dragon they worship like a god. If they insult you, they’re insulting it. And in this kingdom, that’s blasphemy.”

Her expression shifted slightly. She wasn’t convinced… but she was listening.

“Don’t you think it’d be hilarious?” Subaru pressed on, eyes gleaming. “Some fancy noble guy, red in the face, choking on his pride because the divine dragon chose you instead of some blue-blooded brat?”

He chuckled, letting the image play in his head. “Hell, if it were me, I’d do it just to piss ’em off. Win the throne, strip them of their titles, take their wealth, and make them live like the people they’ve spent their whole lives looking down on.”

Felt blinked at him, expression unreadable.

Subaru kept going, voice casual but with an edge. “Just imagine. All those stuck-up nobles suddenly becoming the same ‘common trash’ they always mocked. Kind of poetic, don’t you think?”

Of course, this was all strategic. Subaru wasn’t just hyping her up out of nowhere—he needed the story to stay on track. Because off-track meant unknown. And in a world like this, unknown means one thing: death.

But instead of being easily convinced like every other fanfic heroine Subaru had read about, Felt just stared at him, eyes narrowed in sharp suspicion.

“…Why are you trying so hard to convince me of this?” she asked flatly. “What’s in it for you? You want me to become king so you can ride my coattails or something? Be my underling?”

Subaru blinked. “What? No. I don’t even want to be in your camp.”

That made her squint harder. “Really?”

“Really,” Subaru repeated. “Honestly, even if following you might be the safest route for me, it’s still not the right one.”

“The right one?” she echoed, raising an eyebrow.

He sighed. “Look… I’ve seen the future. Not everything, but enough to know where I stand in this world’s story. And while teaming up with you might give me better odds at surviving, it won’t help the world in the long run.”

Felt looked at him like he’d grown another head. “The hell are you talking about?”

“I mean—ugh, this is hard to explain.” Subaru ran a hand through his hair. “Just think of it like this. There’s a big story unfolding. One with kingdoms, Freaky dragon, and time-space anomaly. And I’m already tied to it.

My role… it’s next to someone else. Someone I have to stick with, no matter how messed up it gets.”

Without him by Emilia’s side, the children of Arlam Village along with Rem would die.

Without him, the Witch Cult and the Sin Archbishop of Sloth would slaughter the entire village. Everyone in Roswaal’s mansion—Emilia, Ram, Rem—if she wasn’t already dead by then, and most importantly… Beatrice.

And there was no way he was going to let that happen. Not to that kid. That lonely little girl who’s been abandoned for four hundred years—left behind by her own mother and everyone she ever loved, just so she could see if she had “free will.”

What kind of twisted test was that?

No. He wasn’t letting her fade away in silence. Not again. Not this time.

So yeah—he was sticking with Emilia.

He didn’t know if he’d fall in love with her like canon Subaru did. Maybe he would, maybe not. But one thing he did know?

He loved Beako.

Maybe even more than the Subaru from the story ever did.

"...You're weird, Nii-chan," the little thief said, squinting at him.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Subaru replied with a chuckle, brushing it off like it was nothing.

Subaru and Felt kept talking for a while, the casual conversation helping ease the tension in the air. But eventually, Subaru glanced down at his phone.

4:20 P.M

Almost time, he thought, his eyes locking onto the door.

He watched it with sharp focus, like a predator waiting to pounce. If even a single molecule on that door so much as twitched, he was ready—ready to hurl the glass of bullshit alcohol Rom had given him and shout the signal without hesitation.

Felt and Rom, meanwhile, picked up on the shift in the atmosphere. Subaru’s joking tone had vanished, replaced with a quiet intensity. The moment was drawing near—they could feel it too.

Knock knock knock

The door rattled under a firm knock from the outside. Subaru flinched—and so did everyone else inside.

He quickly glanced at Felt and gave her a subtle signal, urging her to ask who was outside. She caught on and gave a small nod.

“Who’s there?!” she called out, her voice carrying a faint trace of fear.

“O-oh! Sorry!”

The second Subaru heard that voice, his entire body relaxed. He let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

“—Wait, no!” the voice continued.

‘Elsa could never sound that innocent,’ Subaru thought to himself.

“Never mind! We know who you are—just come in!” Subaru called out, interrupting the girl before she could introduce herself. He had already spent an hour explaining everything about her to these people; no need to go through it all again.

The door creaked open, revealing a girl dressed in an elegant white gown. A green crystal necklace rested just above her chest, glinting faintly in the dim light. A white flower sat delicately on the right side of her silver hair, held in place by a purple ribbon, while a small butterfly-shaped clip decorated the left—clearly added for no other reason than charm.

She was gorgeous. Ethereal, even. Her long silver hair shimmered faintly under the dawn light, and her wide, violet eyes completed her unmistakably fantasy-world appearance. Her skin looked smooth, like porcelain, with a touch of baby fat still lingering in her cheeks, giving her an extra note of softness and innocence.

Subaru stared at the newly arrived girl for a long second… then simply nodded to himself.

“I get it now,” he thought. “I can see the vision.”

He finally understood why the canon Subaru had simped so hard for her.

Especially... his eyes drifted, momentarily, toward the very deliberate "boob window" in her dress. Again, he nodded in solemn agreement—this time with himself and his canon counterpart.

“Maybe living here won’t be so bad after all.”

Slap!

"Ow!" Subaru yelped, pulling back as Felt smacked him right in the face. She looked seriously annoyed—like she'd just read his mind or something.

"Stop staring like an idiot and explain things to her!" she snapped.

Apparently, while Emilia and Felt had been talking—probably arguing—Subaru had completely zoned out, too busy admiring the half-elf to listen to a single word.

"Sorry, I got distracted by how pretty she is," Subaru said without a hint of shame.

Emilia looked startled. Felt just groaned and looked like she was going to throw up from secondhand embarrassment.

"Anyway! You—"

But Subaru suddenly froze. Just for a split second, he saw something—a blade—rushing toward them, fast.

"PUCK, SHIELD HER!" he shouted.

In an instant, a wall of ice shot up behind Emilia, blocking the attack just in time.

The attacker quickly leapt to the side after being stopped by the ice.

Then, from Emilia’s hair, a small bipedal-looking cat popped out. "That was close! But it looks like the timing was perfect, ne? Thanks for the help!" it said, giving Subaru a thumbs up.

"Nice one, Puck!" Subaru replied, returning the gesture with a grin.

"Spirit," the assassin woman suddenly said. "A spirit, right? How pretty." Her voice was low and smooth, the kind that almost sounded like she was flirting instead of threatening someone.

"I’ve never cut open a spirit’s belly before."

Yep. This is exactly the kind of woman she is.

'Well, there’s no time like the present.'
"MUSTAAAAARD!" Subaru suddenly shouted a word that made absolutely no sense to anyone else in the room.

The assassin blinked at him, her head tilted slightly with a mix of confusion and amusement at the strange outburst.

"Were you trying to get help by chance?" she asked with a teasing smile, clearly entertained.

"W-what? Pfft. No. Why would you think that?" Subaru tried to play it off, but his voice cracked, and his expression gave him away. Nobody bought it.

Well… except for the half-elf. She believed him completely.

"Fufu, good thing my contractor gave me those runes, then."
His eyes widened at her remark.

"R-runes? What runes?" he asked hesitantly.

"The ones they gave me to silence this house. No one can hear a thing from inside."
The assassin smiled as she explained. Some people might think revealing things to your target is dumb—but she enjoyed it. Watching their faces twist in despair was so satisfying.

Like the one he was making right now.

‘Shit!’ Subaru cursed in his head. ‘Damn you, Roswaal!’

In hindsight, he should’ve seen this coming. Roswaal had already given her that cloak that could resist magic from Emilia and Puck. Of course that cursed book would tell him about Subaru’s plan too.

‘It’s not gonna be that easy, huh?’ he thought, gritting his teeth.

"Felt! Plan B! Get out of here and get the help!" Subaru yelled at the little blonde girl, but—

"You're looking away from me?" the assassin's voice came from right beside him.

Before he could react, her blade was already swinging.

Instinctively, Subaru raised his arm to protect his stomach, knowing exactly where she was aiming.

With a loud shluck, her blade tore open his right forearm.

"Ghak!" he choked out, pain flooding his senses, and she kicked him across the room. Breaking his ribs in the process.

"Nii-san!" Felt shouted, panic in her voice.

"I’m fine! Go get the help!" Subaru yelled back through gritted teeth, his voice tight with pain.

It hurts, he thought, struggling to lift his right arm. Blood was pouring from it—thick, warm, and fast—soaking his sleeve and dripping onto the floor in heavy splats.

Then he looked down—and froze.

His forearm was split open. Not scraped or grazed, but cleanly sliced, like meat on a butcher’s block. The skin was peeled back in a jagged line, exposing the glistening red muscle underneath, and deeper still, the bone—his bone—staring back at him like something out of a nightmare.

His stomach lurched. A wave of nausea hit him like a punch to the gut. His fingers began to shake violently, coated in his own blood.

I’m gonna die! his mind screamed, louder than any voice could.

"Like I'll let that happen," the assassin said sharply, darting toward Felt.

Before she could reach the girl, a massive club swept through the air, forcing her to halt. The old giant, Rom, had stepped in.

She dodged the heavy swing with ease, a grin curling at her lips.

"Do you wanna dance too?" she mocked, nimbly climbing the thick club like it was nothing. Blade ready, she lunged for Rom’s neck—

"Huma!"
A sharp voice rang out, followed by a flying icicle that shot straight toward her.

With feline reflexes, she twisted in midair, avoiding the icicle without even losing momentum.

"Guah!" Rom grunted as her blade sliced across his shoulder before she leapt back to the ground.

"Old man!" Felt yelled in distress

Landing gracefully, the assassin smiled—voice still honeyed despite the blood on her blade.
"Two against one. My~ this is quite troublesome, isn't it?"

"I still don't understand what just happened," Emilia said, her innocent voice steady with conviction. "But I won't let you kill these people!"

"Well said, Emilia-tan!" Subaru grunted from behind her. His forearm, torn open earlier, was now tightly wrapped in a strip of his tracksuit, a makeshift bandage soaking with blood.

He forced himself to stay awake, eyelids heavy from the pain, but he stayed on his feet, slowly making his way toward the blonde-haired girl.

"Seriously, Felt... get the hell out of here," he whispered loudly enough for her to hear.

"No way! If anything, you—"

"I AM FINE! I CAN'T DIE!" Subaru snapped, cutting her off. His voice cracked with pain and desperation.

Felt flinched. Not because of the volume—but because of the certainty in his voice. The weight behind those words felt far heavier than they should.

"Are you still ignoring me?" the assassin sneered, leaping at the little girl once again.

But Subaru was ready this time.

Squelch!
"Gaaah!"

The assassin’s blade struck—but not its target. Subaru had thrown himself between them, catching the blade with his right hand. Steel tore through his palm and out the other side, blood spraying from the wound as he clutched the weapon tight, stopping it just inches from Felt.

Felt stood frozen in shock, staring at the strange-looking man who had just willingly sacrificed his hand to save her.

"Foolish," the assassin muttered coldly.

But Subaru only grinned through the searing pain. "Maybe," he said, voice shaking. "But I'll live!" he roared, and with a mad burst of strength, he shoved his hand even deeper onto the blade, closing his bloody fingers around her wrist.

When someone has already accepted that they can’t die, then pain... is nothing but an annoyance.

"Felt! I swear to god! Get the fuck out of here!" Subaru shouted one last time, his voice hoarse but sharp with urgency.

The girl finally snapped out of her thoughts and bolted from the room.

"Don't die, Nii-san!" she called back before disappearing down the hallway.

Elsa moved to chase—but her arm was still trapped in Subaru's unrelenting grip.

"What a stubborn guy you are," she muttered darkly, switching to the blade in her left hand. She swung at him again, and—

Squelch!

"AAAHHHH! FUCK!"

He screamed in agony. Her second knife had pierced his other hand, sinking deep through flesh and bone. Blood gushed from both wounds now, dripping onto the floor in messy red trails.

" El Huma! "

Emilia picked the perfect moment to act. She raised her hand and fired a barrage of icicles straight at the assassin, forcing Elsa to jump back and release her grip on both blades—still embedded in Subaru’s hands.

"Nice back up," Subaru muttered sarcastically, panting through clenched teeth.

"Thanks!" Emilia replied brightly—completely missing the sarcasm.

She took a second to really look at him—and her eyes widened in horror at the state of his arms.

"Y-you—are you Alright?!" she asked, her voice rising with genuine concern.

"I'll live... Maybe... Probably," Subaru panted out, forcing a weak smile through the pain. "But now we just have to wait for—"

BOOM!

Before he could finish his sentence, the door to the loot house exploded inward, blasted away by a powerful force.

"Oh thank God," Subaru muttered in relief—then collapsed onto the floor, finally letting himself rest.

He knew exactly who had arrived.

But instead of letting his body fall to the ground, the newly arrived Hero of the world caught him in his arms.

"Sorry I am late, Subaru," Reinhard gently spoke to him, and Subaru only let out a small laugh — knowing full well this was the guy who would never be in the right place when he was needed.

"Emilia-sama, I am sorry for my insolence, but could you please heal him?" Reinhard politely asked the royal candidate.

"Yes! Of course!" she answered without hesitation.

He gently laid Subaru down, letting the royal candidate focus on healing him, and shifted his attention to the remaining threat in the room.

"Now..." he said, turning to face the assassin without a trace of fear. Unlike everyone else, he was far beyond her — too powerful to be even remotely intimidated.

"Shall we put an end to this?"

I AM SORRY! I said I will finish this in a day but I completely underestimate the size of this chapter.

Do you know how much unnecessary bullshit I have to cut for this chapter? FOUR THOUSAND WORDS! meaning that this chapter should be TEN THOUSANDS WORDS CHAPTER.

God, Four thousand words worth of bullshit unnecessary stuff that we already know at this point. Why the hell do I need to write that stuff?

I spent 2 days writing the first two thousand words of bullshit and thought 'You know what? This is boring. There is no sustenance here, why am I including this?' and then I got depressed and beat myself up for making such trash.

And then I fixed it. I wrote four thousand words and then I got stuck again. And it has already been about a week since I uploaded the last chapter and I wanted to atleast close this arc for taking that long but again, I Underestimate the size of it.

And now we have six thousand words, And this is not even the end of this arc! We still have the epilogue for this and yeah I guess all the conflict is now resolved since Reinhard is here but still! I think there are still about 3-4 thousand words worth of epilogue here and I can't go that long without uploading anything.

So again. I am sorry for lying about the size of this arc. I am sorry for lying about when I'll finish this. But not like I have a schedule or anything I am just doing this for fun.

Anyway, that's that. See ya later!

Chapter Text

"Y'know... now that I think about it, I don’t think I handled this situation very well."

"Hmm-mm."

"I mean, instead of having Reinhard hide and wait to ambush her, why not just leave the loot house? We had enough legal reason to force Rom and Felt out until this whole thing was settled."

"Mmm."

"Or hell, why didn’t I just get you? I spent three hours here explaining stuff that honestly could’ve been summarized with: 'The trinket is important. You’re going to jail if you survive the assassination. Unless you come with us.'"

"Mmmm."

"Or maybe just keep Reinhard inside. He probably has a Divine Protection of Super Hiding or something. Why did we have to stash him outside to ambush an assassin who didn’t even know we were onto her?"

"Please stop talking. I need to focus on healing you."

The battle at the loot house continued, even after the Sword Saint arrived—which was unusual. Conflicts usually ended the moment he entered the room.

The strange-looking boy kept talking, even as the half-elf diligently worked to mend his torn flesh back together.

"How’s my arm, by the way?" Subaru asked—far too casually for someone who’d just torn his arms open. "Do I have to let go of my hooping dreams?"

"You didn’t lose much flesh or bone, fortunately," the half-elf replied, her hands glowing faintly with healing magic. "It was only severed, so I might be able to mend it... at least for now."

"Heh," the boy chuckled. "'Only severed?' The bar for injury in this world is really high, huh? As expected of a world with magic." He laughed at his own condition. Back home, something like this would mostly be unfixable.

"This world?" the half-elf asked, a curious note in her voice as she picked up on the strange phrasing.

Subaru simply gave a vague smile. "I'll tell you later."

"You're awfully calm for someone who almost bled to death," the cat perched in her hair remarked, narrowing his eyes at the boy as he examined him more closely, trying to figure out what his deal was.

"You're still here? I thought it was already past five," Subaru replied casually.

"Okay, now you're really starting to sound suspicious. First, you know my name—and now my contract?" Puck’s tone turned sharper, more inquisitive. He’d been wary from the start, but now he couldn’t hide it anymore. "Who are you, really?"

Puck had never seen this boy before, yet somehow the stranger knew who he was, what he was capable of... even the conditions of his contract? Something was off. Very off.

"Same as Emilia-tan. I'll tell you everything when this is over. Right now, I just have to—OOUCH!"

"S-sorry!" Emilia flinched, startled by his sudden cry. "Wait, no—you moved your arm! That’s not my fault!"

"Ow—yeah, that one’s on me," Subaru winced, groaning as he tried to settle back into place. "I forgot my arms were sliced just a few minutes ago."

"How do you even forget something like that?" the cat asked, sounding genuinely baffled.

"One way of dealing with problems is by pretending they don’t exist," Subaru answered with a deadpan expression.

"I just hope I can still play video games after what happened to my arm," Subaru muttered to no one in particular, his eyes fixed on the broken ceiling of the loot house—courtesy of the ongoing clash between the Sword Saint and the assassin.

Not that it really mattered. Everyone already knew how this fight would end.

Subaru tilted his head slightly, trying to catch a glimpse of the action. Reinhard was clearly toying with the assassin—dodging every strike with minimal effort, not even bothering to fight back. None of her attacks came close to landing.

"Is there any reason why he still hasn’t beaten her already?" Subaru asked, far too casually for someone half-covered in blood.

"If the Sword Saint were to unleash his power, the mana in the atmosphere would be completely drained. And as a spirit arts user, I need that mana to heal you and the old man," Emilia explained, trying to justify Reinhard’s inaction.

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but that’s for his super sword nuke technique or whatever he calls it. I’m just saying—why not swing his sword really fast and dice her up like sashimi?"

It was a fair point. In the original timeline, Elsa was defeated by Garfiel. And no matter how fast people think that guy is, he’s not faster than base Reinhard.

"I… don’t know?" Emilia admitted, clearly stumped.

Emilia finally finished mending the flesh and bones in Subaru’s arms before moving on to the old man. His injuries weren’t as severe, so he got healed last.

Subaru flexed his fingers experimentally. It still stung a little, but compared to the unbearable pain from a few minutes ago, it was a massive improvement.

"...So magic really is real here," Subaru muttered to himself. Sure, he’d already come to terms with the fact that he was in another world. He had seen Emilia launch a barrage of magical ice missiles at Elsa, after all.

But watching his own torn flesh and muscle knit itself back together—that was something else entirely. Surreal didn’t even begin to cover it.

'...Did she have a doctorate? How does she even know which arteries are supposed to go where?' a passing thought crossed his mind

"I’m done," the half-elf girl chimed in after finishing up with the old man. "We can tell the Sword Saint to stop holding back now."

"Alright! We can finally end this stupid arc!" Subaru shot up to his feet, using his freshly mended arm for support.

"Reinhard!" he yelled, "Go boom boom!"

"...What does that even mean?" Elsa asked, utterly bewildered.

"I think he meant this," Reinhard replied as his sword began to glow with a radiant light—and then—

BOOM!

With one clean swing, he unleashed his “fuck everything in that general direction” technique, reducing half the house to rubble.

"My house!" Felt screamed, staring at the wreckage left in the wake of Reinhard’s “boom boom.”

"Don't worry, Felt," Subaru said, placing a hand on her head and giving it a reassuring pat. "You're gonna live with Reinhard now," he added with a bright smile.

"Wait, what?" she blinked, face scrunching up in utter confusion and disbelief.

"Hey, Reinhard!" Subaru called out, gripping the little girl's arm just in case she bolted. "I got your fifth candidate right here!"

Felt's eyes widened as she remembered what the guy had said earlier about her being the fifth candidate for the throne. "Let go of me!" she shouted, immediately trying to wriggle free.

"Hey—damn it, stop squirming! How are you so strong?!" Subaru struggled to hold her still until the Sword Saint finally approached and grabbed her other arm.

"Are you sure, Subaru?" Reinhard asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep. The rock glowed and everything," Subaru answered casually as he started fishing around in Felt’s pocket.

"Hey—what the hell are you doing?!" she snapped, recoiling at the sudden invasion of her personal space. A faint blush appeared on her face.

"Stop moving. You don’t even have anything to touch yet," Subaru tried to calm her down.

"Fuck you!" Which didn't work.

"There it is!" Subaru exclaimed triumphantly, pulling the insignia out of Felt’s pocket. As expected, the rock didn’t glow for him.

(Fuck you, King Subaru fans.)

"My insignia!" Emilia gasped when she spotted it in his hand.

"That’s right, this is yours," Subaru confirmed, before adding, "but if you were to look right here~" —he gently placed the insignia into Felt’s hand.

The rock immediately began glowing with a faint red light.

Felt, meanwhile, was still trying to wrestle her way out of Reinhard’s grip. She wasn’t about to let herself be made a princess just because some rock told her to.

"Aaaand there you go!" Subaru gestured to the glowing trinket like a magician finishing a trick. "That’s official enough for this kingdom, right? Take her away, Reinhard!"

Without missing a beat, the Sword Saint calmly pressed two fingers against Felt’s neck.

She continued squirming for a moment longer… then went limp in his arms.

"I... didn’t mean for you to knock her out, but whatever works for you. I guess." Subaru commented on the sword saint's forceful method. But he is not going to complain to the guy that can destroy half the planet if he wanted to.

"Anyway!" Subaru spun around dramatically to face the half-elf girl. "I have come to return your precious regalia, my lady," he declared, dropping to one knee and presenting the insignia on his open palm like a sacred relic. His voice took on an absurdly chivalrous knightly accent.

The half-elf blinked at him for a moment, then chuckled, quickly catching on to his little performance.

"Why, of course, O brave knight~" she replied, matching his tone with mock elegance. "You shall be handsomely rewarded for your noble service."

"Oh, how you humble me, my lady. Truly, your generosity knows no bounds," Subaru responded with an exaggerated bow of his head.

They held the ridiculous pose for a beat—then both burst out laughing, the tension of the past few hours cracking like glass beneath the weight of their shared silliness.

"You two seem quite close already," the Sword Saint remarked with a gentle smile, watching their antics.

"Yeah, funny what happens when you try talking to people instead of kidnapping them," Subaru replied, his voice light but laced with concealed sarcasm.

"I... see?" Reinhard answered, still smiling—completely oblivious to the jab.

"Anyway! Now, back to being homeless since I have no money or anything under my name here," Subaru said, casually tossing out his tragic backstory like bait on a hook—hoping the kind-hearted half-elf would bite.

"Gasp! You have no home?" And just like a fish, Emilia took the bait.

"That's right," Subaru nodded gravely. "I was forcefully teleported here by a stalker lady and now I'm stranded—separated from my family, my friends, with nothing in my hands but despair. Oh, woe is me," he lamented dramatically, fully leaning into the performance.

And, of course, Emilia ate up every word. She has her hands on her mouth as she gasped in surprise.

Puck, however, was giving Subaru the side-eye the entire time.

"Well... he’s not lying, at least," the cat spirit commented. "I can sense his intent. Doesn’t seem like he means you any harm. Kind of the opposite actually."

That sealed it for Emilia. She turned toward Subaru, mouth opening to offer him a place to stay.

"W–well—"

"If you want, you can live with me, Subaru," Reinhard offered instead, completely unaware he just cut her off.

Subaru was having none of it.

"Reinhard. Buddy."

In an instant, Subaru had his arm slung around the Sword Saint’s shoulder. Of course, Reinhard was taller, so he had to awkwardly lean down just to make the scene work. Subaru pulled him in close like they were lifelong pals sharing war stories.

"Listen," he began in a low, serious whisper. "Have you ever heard of the bro code, man?"

Reinhard blinked. "...Bro code?"

"When a brother is tryin’ to score," Subaru continued, expression dead serious, "the other brother’s job is to assist. You’re supposed to be the wingman, not the wall, man!"

Reinhard tilted his head slightly, utterly lost. "I... see? I’m sorry?"

"Don't worry, man. Just read the room next time," Subaru said, giving Reinhard a friendly pat on the chest. Without missing a beat, he spun back around to face the half-elf, resuming his dramatic flair.

"Oh! How tragic my life is!" he lamented, one hand on his forehead like a soap opera actor.

Emilia blinked, startled by the sudden shift in tone. She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. After being interrupted earlier by the Sword Saint, all the confidence she’d been working up had completely vanished.

“W-well...” she stammered, clutching the hem of her dress. “You can live with me, if you want. Because you found my insignia! I’m just trying to repay you for what you’ve done.”

Subaru's face lit up with exaggerated delight. "Oh–hoo~ Tsundere Emilia-tan? I must’ve been a really good boy in my previous life to deserve such a blessing!"

Emilia’s face flushed a deep shade of red as she tried to maintain her composure, clearly flustered by the teasing.

“Anyway,” Subaru suddenly said, stepping forward with a theatrical flair, “I just realized I haven’t introduced myself to any of you. Let’s make this official!”

He took a bold stance—one hand planted on his hip, the other dramatically pointing to the sky for no apparent reason.

“My name is Natsuki Subaru! A boy from another world who is broke beyond compare!”

He delivered the line with full confidence, as if he hadn’t just nearly died twice. Emilia stared at him, wide-eyed, clearly impressed despite herself. She thought he was cool—because, deep down, she was mentally twelve.

Even Reinhard gave him an enthusiastic round of applause, ever the supportive audience.

Subaru then brought a hand to his chin, tapping it thoughtfully. “Though... I did just save a princess, and I’ve still got my phone. So maybe I won’t be broke for long.”

"Oh! That reminds me" Subaru quickly pulled out his phone. Miraculously, it sustains no damage despite all that has happened today

"Can we take a selfie together?"

“Eh? So you really are—”

“Yup,” Subaru cut Emilia off with a grin. “I’m from another world. And in that world, this place is nothing but a story. I never thought I’d actually get teleported here—even with the same name as the main character.”

A dragon-drawn carriage rolled down the quiet streets under the cover of night. A pink-haired girl was at the reins, steering steadily while two people talked inside the cabin.

Subaru had just uploaded a photo from his phone: a chaotic snapshot of him, Emilia, and Reinhard standing in the wreckage of the loot house. His face and clothes were still stained with dried blood—most notably his arm, which looked freshly mended. Despite the carnage, he flashed a peace sign at the camera with a smug smile. Emilia stood beside him, awkwardly trying to smile.

The caption read:

“I lived, bitch.”

The comments came flooding in:

“Holy shit. That looks real!”
“Is that actual blood or just makeup?”
“Bro this stopped being funny like five posts ago.”
“That Emilia cosplayer is so cute!”
“What’s her OnlyElf?”
   “Gooner mentality.”
"Nooooo! Where is Elsa?!"

“A world where this world is just a story...” Emilia murmured, her voice soft with wonder. The thought seemed to weigh on her. “I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be in your shoes.”

Subaru glanced at her, then let out a tired sigh. “It’s not even accurate, you know. For one, Elsa shouldn’t have those stupid runes to silence the house. That wasn’t in the story I remember.”

“Elsa?” Emilia blinked in confusion.

“The assassin,” Subaru clarified. “That’s her name.”

“Oh,” Emilia replied quietly,

“And to top it off, I’m not even supposed to have this.” Subaru pulled out his phone and held it up for her to see. “In the story, the guy only had some ancient flip phone that couldn’t even play YouTube. But me? I got to keep my Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra—and somehow, it still gets internet.”

He looked genuinely baffled by that last part, as if the cosmic laws of technology had taken pity on him.

Emilia, however, stared at the sleek device in his hand with growing confusion. The more he explained, the more lost she looked.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a small, apologetic smile. “I don’t know what any of that means.”

“It’s like an invisible thread that connects my phone to everyone else’s,” Subaru explained, holding the device in front of her like it was a holy relic. “You can share pictures—or videos, which are just moving pictures—and even talk to each other from across the world.”

“Like a Metia?” Emilia asked, tilting her head.

“Exactly!” Subaru pointed at her with approval. “But here’s the kicker—those connections are only supposed to exist in my world. You can’t even get a decent signal on the moon, so how the hell do I still have 150Mbps in a completely different dimension?!”

He shouted that last part to the sky, somehow expecting the gods of wireless technology to answer.

And then—

Call of the Witch began playing out of nowhere.

Emilia jumped at the sudden ominous sound echoing from Subaru's phone, her hands instinctively hovering near her chest. “Wh-what’s that noise?!”

Subaru, on the other hand, was staring at his phone in bewilderment. “Huh? Someone’s... calling me?”

The display flickered, turning a blurry shade of gray. Then, as if summoned from a bad horror movie, an image faded into view—a woman with long white hair and a black dress, her expression unreadable as she looked directly at him through the screen.

It was an unknown number. He’d never seen it before.

But the face?
He knew that face.

He’d seen her before—many times, in art, cutscenes, fan wikis, and late-night Reddit threads. But never like this. Never with her staring back at him like she knew he was looking.

His finger hovered for a moment, then he tapped the glowing green icon.

#...Moshi moshi~?#

Her voice chimed through the speaker like silk sliding across glass.

It was her.

The Witch of Greed.

Echidna.

Da daaaaan! Another plot twist for the series.

The witch of greed is calling our boy, what did she want I wonder?

Anyway I decided to keep it slow with the writing. This might mean that you'll get one chapter a week but I still want to read fanfiction on my own too!

A few months ago when I first started writing stuff I tried to make one chapter a day with three thousand words and while yes, I can do that but with it and my job I ended up having no time to relax and enjoy reading other people's stuff and it got boring pretty quickly.

So now I am gonna take it slow. Write stuff when I want and read whatever new update other people post in this fandom.

Anyway, I never thought so many people would read this. Thank you all for this comment and I hope you are not too angry at my nonexistent upload schedule.

That's that. See ya later!

Chapter Text

#Moshi Moshi~?#

The voice drifting from the phone was sweet—playful, even. Like a childhood friend calling after years apart, carrying that familiar warmth with a teasing lilt.

Subaru didn’t respond immediately. He just stared at the screen for a long second, trying to decide what to do.

Beep.

He ended the call.

“What was that?” Emilia asked, bewildered. Suddenly, the metia let out that strange noise, someone said a weird phrase—and then it just stopped.

Tonight has been a very weird night for Emilia.

“Just a scam caller. Don’t worry about it,” Subaru said, trying to ease her concern as he slipped the phone back into his pocket. Fortunately, the only mind-reader present was sleeping, so he could lie all he wanted.

Right after muting whoever it was that called him just now.

“So!” Subaru clapped his hands to change the subject. “As I said, I’ve read the story of this world. And you, plus the maid steering over there, are actually part of the main cast, so I know a lot of stuff about the two of you.”

“Pervert,” came a voice from the driver’s seat.

“Not like that,” Subaru denied the accusation—before remembering Rule 34 exists. “Actually… it is like that. Just that those aren’t canon.”

“Why would a canon have anything to do with you being a pervert?” the girl in the driver’s seat said again.

“I feel so too,” Emilia added, frowning a little. “Knowing that someone read about my life without my permission is… a bit weird. Sorry.”

“Well, tell that to Tappei. He’s the one writing your story,” Subaru shrugged, trying to deflect the growing pervert accusations.

“But you read it,” the pink-haired maid pointed out flatly.

“I did. But—”

“But you read it,” she repeated, cutting off whatever excuse he was about to make.

Subaru could only stare at her back in silence, grumbling under his breath about how unfair it was that she could just say that and win.

“PervBaru,” she chimed again, almost sing-song.

“Okay—!” Subaru threw his hands in the air and pointed at her, trying to stop the accusation before it gained any more momentum.

Ram just sat there with a smug little smirk, clearly enjoying the suffering of the strange guest Emilia had brought home.

“Wow, this mansion is big,” Subaru said as he stood in front of the gate, hands on his hips, taking in the view.

Even in the dark, it was clear how massive the place really was.

“And Rem cleans all of this by herself? Damn, no wonder some people like her.”

“Excuse me?” came a sharp voice from behind him.

Subaru didn’t even flinch. He grinned to himself before slowly turning his head.

A certain pink-haired maid stood there, arms crossed, eyebrows twitching.

“What?” Subaru said smugly to the girl. “We all know you’re not doing any of your maidly chores properly. I would know—I read the book.”

“Ahh yes. How could Ram forget that you’re a pervert who stalks people through literature,” Ram replied, feigning realization. “Truly a grave mistake on Ram’s part.”

“That’s right, I am a pe—wait a minute!” Subaru caught himself. “I’m not stalking you! The story is about me! I’m stalking myself!”

“And a narcissist, too? Truly, you are the scum of the earth. Barusu.”

“You little—!” Subaru was halfway into launching a comeback when another maid, looking nearly identical to Ram, stepped out to greet them.

In the middle of the night, no less.

“…Did she not sleep?” Subaru blinked, caught off guard.

"Welcome back, Emilia-sama, Nee-sama. And...?" Rem greeted politely, but paused when she noticed something was off.

They’d gone to the capital with two people… and came back with three.

"Rem, this is—"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, PINKY!"

Ram tried to sabotage the moment, but Subaru was quick on the draw.

"I can do it myself, thank you!" he cut her off with a dramatic cough, ignoring the sharp "Tch." Ram let out behind him.

Clearing his throat with purpose, Subaru straightened his back, placed one hand on his hip, and struck a confident pose with the other pointed at the sky.

"My name is Natsuki Subaru! Emilia-tan’s guest and noble savior of her stolen insignia from the clutch of evil! Nice to meet you!"

It was peak Natsuki Subaru energy.

Everyone just stared at him. No one said a word. The silence stretched... and stretched… until it wrapped around the entire courtyard like an awkward blanket.

"Heh."
A smug scoff broke the quiet. Of course, it came from the pink-haired maid.

Subaru didn’t let it rattle him. He crossed his arms and tilted his chin up with mock pride.

"You guys might not get it now, but you’ll understand just how cool that pose is once I become a hero," he said, fully committed to the bit.

No one looked convinced. If anything, their expressions somehow managed to scream secondhand embarrassment even louder.

"Why must Ram try to embarrass you when you can do it yourself," the pink-haired girl commented with a smug look on her face.

Subaru just shrugged her off. Haters gonna hate, or so they say.

"Anyway, Rem," Ram turned to her sister, "despite how he looks, he did help find Emilia-sama's jewel. So we must at least let him stay for a night before kicking him out."

"Bold of you to assume I’ll leave."

"Bold of you to assume Ram will let you stay."

"Bold of you to assume you have any say in this."

"Bold of you to assume Ram won’t strangle—"

"Enough!" Emilia finally snapped, stepping in to put an end to their ridiculous back-and-forth.

This looked like the first time the girl had ever tried to put on the authority of the ruler she was supposed to be.

Subaru and Ram looked at her in shock—then looked at each other.

"You made her mad," Subaru said.

"No, you made her mad," Ram clapped back.

"You both made me mad!" Emilia shouted again, doing her best to stop the two from spiraling into yet another argument.

"Rem, can you take Subaru to one of the guest rooms? Any decisions about him will be up to Roswaal. Where is she, anyway?" Emilia finally stepped up and gave the order, sounding more like the ruler she was supposed to be.

Subaru blinked. He is a bit surprised that she can actually act like this, The book really didn’t prepare him for a competent Emilia. She is supposed to be a dumbass.

"Of course, Emilia-sama," Rem said with a bow, then stepped aside to let him through.

"Please follow Rem."

Subaru gave her a big, toothy grin.
"Lead the way," he said, cheerful as ever.

"Seeing it from the outside is one thing, but walking through halls this big really puts it into perspective, huh?" Subaru walked behind Rem with his hands resting behind his head. The hallway stretched on and on, lined with paintings, vases, and all kinds of fancy decorations.

"I think I can get my daily cardio just by going to the bathroom," he joked.

Rem didn’t respond. Unlike her sister, who had no filter and barely any interest in proper manners, Rem was the textbook image of a professional maid—or so Subaru thought.

Frederica is still better though.

"And you clean this whole place by yourself? That must be exhausting, right?"

"That’s not true. Nee-sama helps Rem take care of the mansion," she finally answered.

"Yeah, but she doesn’t look like a good maid. You, on the other hand, seem like the real deal," Subaru said, trying to hype her up a bit.

"Nee-sama is much better than Rem."

Subaru sighed. Talking to her felt like arguing with a brick wall that thought it wasn’t worthy of being a brick.

"Oh, by the way, Rem," Subaru suddenly called out, his voice casual but with a hint of concern.

"Mm?" She turned to look at him, curious.

"Is a freshly mended arm supposed to bleed like this?" he asked, holding up his right forearm.

Sure enough, thin trickles of blood were running down from it.

Rem's eyes widened. Without saying another word, she quickly stepped over and gently took his arm, inspecting it closely.

"This is sloppy," she muttered. "Some of the muscle fibers and nerves weren’t reconnected properly… not to mention the arteries..."

"Wait—she really doesn’t know which arteries go where?!" Subaru blurted out, staring at his arm in disbelief.

So his suspicions were right—Emilia’s healing magic was more heart than technique.

"Healing magic is easy to learn. Perfecting it is a whole different story," Rem explained, already casting a spell to try and patch up the damage.

"Rem is sorry… but even Rem isn’t that good at healing. The best healer in this mansion is Lady Beatrice-sama, but she’s—"

Before she could finish, Subaru was already turning on his heel and scanning the hallway.

“Alright, instinct,” he muttered to himself as he started opening random doors, “don’t fail me now.”

He pushed the door open, and the light coming from the room flash-banged him with how much of a contrast it was from the dark hallway.

When he could finally see again, he saw a brightly lit library with dozens of shelves containing hundreds of books—and not a single one he could read.

In the middle of such a library was a little blonde girl with twin drills for hair, wearing a gothic lolita dress, with little crowns on her head and butterflies for pupils.

I realize how ridiculous that sounds when I write it, but that’s exactly what she looks like.

"What an overly aggravating man you are, I suppose," the little girl commented at the newly arrived guest of the library.

"First loli acquired!" Subaru declared with a grin. "Come on, you're wasting that cute face by frowning like that, you know? Smile, smile!" He did his best impression of his canon counterpart’s opening line, inching closer to the tiny, unimpressed girl.

"The only smile you deserve is a derivative sneer, I suppose," the girl replied flatly, not even bothering to look up from her book.

"Hehe, maybe so. But a sneer from you is still better than a smile from some people," Subaru shot back, shamelessly fishing for anything that resembled a win.

"Disgusting, in fact," Beatrice said, taking his words in the worst way possible.

"Not like that! Honestly, why is everyone’s first assumption about me is that I’m some kind of pervert?" Subaru groaned into the void. He hadn’t even been in this world for a full day, and somehow he’d already been labeled a stalker and a masochist.

"Maybe don’t act like a weirdo. That usually helps people not get labeled as a pervert, in fact," the little girl offered, her advice barely disguising the insult behind it.

"Naaah, sanity is overrated," Subaru waved her off like the unhinged man he proudly was.

"Anyway! I heard from Rem that you’re the best healer in this whole place. My forearm got sliced up a few hours ago, and Emilia-tan did patch it up, but..." He raised his right arm and started flexing his fingers. "Now my middle finger moves every time I try to move my pinky."

To demonstrate, he wiggled his hand—sure enough, the movements were awkwardly out of sync, like a puppet being controlled by someone with jumbled up strings.

"And why must Betty help you, I suppose?" the little girl asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Because you're nice and kind?" Subaru offered with a grin, immediately earning a visible scowl on her otherwise adorable face.

"Come here," she huffed, setting her book down on the nearby table and hopping off her little stool with all the grace of a very reluctant magical little ojou-sama.

Subaru approached with a smug smile and knelt down, presenting his arm for inspection like some knight offering a sacred relic. All so the tiny library Ojou-sama could examine his messed-up forearm.

The girl observed his forearm closely, eyes narrowing in quiet concentration—then, without warning, her small hand began to glow with an ethereal white light.

"How is it? Is it fixable?" Subaru asked, hopeful.

"Yes. Unfortunately," she replied sharply, like healing him was some sort of moral defeat.

A few minutes passed with her working in silence, and then the glow finally faded. Subaru flexed his fingers experimentally and was surprised to find—

he could actually move them. No twinges, no stabs of pain, and most importantly, no rogue finger doing jazz hands whenever he tried to make a fist.

"Wow," he muttered, flexing his hand. "I forgot arms aren’t supposed to hurt when you move them."

"Then you’re an idiot, in fact," the little girl replied flatly.

She took a step forward, and Subaru didn’t react—she was tiny, and didn’t exactly radiate danger. What’s she gonna do? Tickle him?

So he let her approach, not thinking much of it, until she suddenly placed a hand on his stomach—
No wait a minute.

"Wait, no—I know what this one—"

"Then you should brace yourself I suppose," she said with a grin that was far too pleased with itself.

Then pain.

A jolt tore through his gut like someone had plugged a vacuum into his blood vessels and hit max power. It was sharp, it was shocking,

and it was completely unprompted.

Subaru dropped like a sack of laundry.

To be fair, it was technically past his bedtime. Back in his world, it was already around 9 a.m. and he hadn’t slept since the night before. Combine that with Beatrice’s impromptu magical suck suck?

Yeah— he is out.

Meanwhile, back on earth…

The classroom buzzed with half-asleep students as the teacher took attendance.

"Natsuki Subaru? Is Natsuki Subaru here?"

A classmate lazily raised their hand.
"He got isekai’d."

The teacher blinked.
"...What?"

"Mmm. Unfamiliar ceiling." Subaru woke up from the sudden mana tax from the IRS, also known as Betty, in an unfamiliar room unbeknownst to him.

"Oh right. I got isekai’d and I didn’t even question it," he mumbled to himself about his situation. After sleeping the adrenaline off, he finally got a clear view of his current situation.

"I fought an assassin, got my forearm torn open, and witnessed magic firsthand. And now I’m in a mansion. What should be my next move?" he thought to himself. At times like this, fanfiction is far more reliable than actual canon.

Look. Canon is already gone. I don’t care how similar the things he does are to what canon Subaru did — it’s not going to be the same.

Elsa proves it. She has those stupid rune things that weren’t even there in canon.

‘So... what now? Which fanfic can I copy to make things easier for myself?’ Subaru thought, staring at the ceiling.

‘ Black Phoenix and its weird quantum magic stuff? Could work— if I can replicate it. Friends in High Places ? What, do I just walk up to Volcanica and ask him to be my dragon daddy and fix my problems?’

‘ Spirit King ... eh. I’m supposed to have high spirit affinity, but making a contract with anyone other than Beako feels like cheating .’

“Mmm... no matter how I look at it, learning magic might be the only way to avoid getting killed as much,” he mumbled, thinking through his options and how to stay alive in a world way above the norm.

"Nee-sama, Nee-sama. Our guest seems to have lost his mind."

"Rem, Rem. He’s talking to himself like a maniac."

"And then there’s those two. One wrong move and I’m dead. Man, they have no chill."

"Rem, Rem. He’s talking about us like we’re not even here."

"Nee-sama, Nee-sama. That’s not fair. It was our thing first."

"Honestly? Why do I even bother being here? Just one more year and I would’ve graduated high school. Then I could’ve gone to college, gotten a decent job… But now I’m stuck solving problems that have nothing to do with me."

"Nee-sama, Nee-sama. His delusion is getting worse. He’s speaking gibberish now."

"Rem, Rem. Our guest appears to suffer from illusions of grandeur. It’s terminal, Ram heard."

"Well, I get to look at beautiful ladies every day, so maybe this isn’t so bad. Though the pink one’s not so mu—Ghk!"

Suddenly, Subaru was gut-punched out of nowhere.

“Apologize.” said the pink menace. “There seemed to be a bug under the sheet, so Ram was trying to eliminate it.”

“The only thing under the sheet was me, idiot,” Subaru groaned, clutching his stomach after getting his wind knocked out first thing in the morning.

“Exactly,” the pink girl replied, as if stating an obvious fact.

Subaru groaned in pain. For someone so petite, the pink-haired girl hit harder than any pro boxer back in his world.

How the hell can that twink of an arm generate that much force? he thought, wheezing.

“What are you two doing here anyway?” Subaru finally asked the important question. “Don’t tell me you enjoy watching a teenage boy sleep that much.”

“No. Fortunately, you are the only stalker in this mansion, Barusu-sama.”
Ehhh? Sama now, huh?

“We were tasked by Roswaal-sama to bring you to the dining room. It’s about your deeds last night,” Rem added, ever the informative maid.

“Oh right. I did save the candidate he’s sponsoring, huh?” Subaru grinned, full of smug confidence. “Wonder what kind of reward I’m getting for that.”

The two maids rolled their eyes in perfect sync and began walking, choosing to ignore his inflated sense of importance as they made their way to the dining room.

"By the way, who changed my clothes?"

"You. Are. Fucking. Lying," Subaru said flatly as they made their way down the hall toward the dining room.

"We are not," Rem replied, calm as ever. "Roswaal-sama did, in fact, change your clothes. Despite our... strong objections."

"Nope. You're lying. That’s fake. I refuse to accept that as reality. I don’t care how many times you say it."

"Deny it all you want," Ram added, smirking with far too much satisfaction. "It won’t change the fact that Roswaal-sama touched your bare skin."

Subaru visibly shuddered. And sighed.
"This world is a mistake."

"I don’t understand why you’re so repulsed by the idea of Roswaal-sama changing your clothes," Ram said, frowning at Subaru’s overly dramatic disgust.

"Yeah, of course you'd say that," Subaru shot back without looking at her. "You're a simp."

The maids didn’t respond—though Ram did scoff faintly—and the group finally reached the dining room. As the doors opened, Subaru noticed someone already sitting at the long table.

"Emilia-tan!" he beamed. "Man, how nice it is to see someone who won’t kill me for smelling bad."

Rem flinched slightly at that.

"That’s a… very morbid way to greet someone. Are you alright?" Emilia asked, looking a little concerned.

"I’m fine! Never better!" Subaru said with way too much energy as he made his way toward her seat. "Thanks to Beako’s late-night healing magic, I’m all patched up."

"I’m glad…" Emilia smiled, but her voice dropped a little. "I did say I only mended your arm a little, didn’t I? Healing magic was never really my specialty, see…" A hint of shame slipped into her tone as she looked away.

"It’s fine! It’s all in the past," Subaru said with a grin as he pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. "By the way, Emilia-tan—that dress? Ten out of ten. Whoever picked it really knows their stuff."

"Oh, this?" Emilia looked down shyly at her outfit. "Puck picked it out for me."

"Well, he’s got good taste. But honestly, anything would look good with that cute face of yours~" Subaru added, turning on the charm.

"Hmpf! You’re already teasing me this early in the morning?"

"Hey, I’ll tease you any time of day. Morning? Evening? Middle of the night? You will never know peace again!"

"I… don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing." Emilia muttered, flustered but clearly amused.

The two of them kept chatting for a while until the sound of footsteps echoed from the hallway, drawing Subaru's attention to the door.

The footsteps were… off. Sharp. Precise. Not heavy, but distinct—clack, clack, like something hard hitting the floor in rhythm. Not metal, though. More like…

...A heel.

No.

"I’m sorry for making you all wait~ That was very tardy of me~"

The voice that came as the door opened was… unexpected.

Sweet.

No.

“As the owner of the mansion, I should’ve been here first. But alas, work has taken up far too much of my time,” the explanation flowed smoothly, but Subaru wasn’t listening to the words.

He was listening to the voice.

That high-pitched. Smooth. Feminine. Voice.

NO.

“Since we have a guest, I believe introductions are in order, aren’t they?”

The person who stepped through the door looked to be a woman in her mid-twenties, wearing a dark purple dress speckled with star-like patterns. A large bow sat neatly around the midsection of the outfit.

A purple gem was nestled in the center of the neckpiece she wore, matching the earrings dangling from both ears. A dark, violet flower-shaped hairpiece rested delicately on the side of her head.

NO .

Her hair was a deep blue, styled into an elegant side-drill that bounced gently with her every step as she walked gracefully into the room.

NO!

“My name is Roswaal Liliane Mathers,” she said with a bright, welcoming smile, her gaze locking onto the boy frozen in horror.

“Yoroshiku~ Onegaishimasu neeee~?”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Chapter Text

# Moshi Moshi~? #

The voice drifting from the phone was sweet—playful, even. Like a childhood friend calling out after years apart, carrying that familiar warmth with a teasing lilt.

Subaru didn’t respond immediately. He simply raised the phone to his ear and waited in silence, staring out into the night. Scam callers usually hung up if you stayed quiet long enough—he figured that tactic might still work even in another world.

But the voice didn’t go away.

# Hello~? Not saying anything? Is this one of your internet safety stuff? Please. I assure you—I’m very real, thank you very much. #

Emilia stared at him, increasingly confused. Just minutes ago, he’d claimed to be from beyond the great waterfall, a faraway world where her life was nothing but a story. She had so many questions, but now he was just... holding his glowy metia and talking to no one?

What did he mean by someone was calling him?

Then Subaru finally spoke, deadpan into the phone.
“No pic, hoax.”

#Ohoooo~ Eager to see me again, are you? What about a video call? Much better than a simple picture, don’t you think?#
The voice on the phone was far too eager—almost excited—to show herself.

Subaru stared at the ceiling, lips pressed into a thin line. Two clear choices hovered in front of him:

Option one: end the call. Block the number. Move on like nothing happened.

But that would look insanely suspicious—especially to everyone else in the dragon carriage.

After all, he’d just dropped a bombshell about being from another world, knowing things he shouldn’t, and reading a story about their lives. Now suddenly he gets a mysterious call, puts the phone on his ear for an awkwardly long minute, and then hangs up without a word?

Yeah. No way Ram lets that slide. He’d be laying in the dirt behind the mansion by tomorrow.

But option two? Accept the video call.
And willingly show his face—and everyone else’s—to the Witch of Greed.

Which could easily be misinterpreted as some kind of forbidden communion. A blasphemous act for some people cough cough Rem.

Fortunately she is not here. But still, this is not safe.

He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either option would raise eyebrows. And yet…

Subaru closed his eyes, took a breath, and made his choice.

‘Ah, to hell with it.’

“…Sure,” he muttered to the phone. “Let’s just do the call.” Accepted the video call.

The screen changed from that weird blurry gray into what looked like a default computer wallpaper—just some grassy hills and a bright blue sky. It was so clean and perfect it looked fake.

Standing right in the middle of it was a woman with long white hair and a black dress that hugged her body way too well. Her waist looked so small it made Subaru wonder, How is she even breathing?

#Tadaaa~!# the woman sang playfully.
#Well? Are you ready to fall head over heels for me and my irresistible charm?#

Subaru just stared at the screen, not saying a word.

Because seriously—what are you supposed to say to something like this?

“Subaru? Who is that?” Emilia asked, snapping him out of his silent stare.

#Who is that?# the voice on the phone echoed at the same time. The white-haired woman squinted at the screen. #Is that the half-elf bitch? Seriously? You’re still hanging around her after knowing what you’ll have to go through?#

Her voice dripped with mockery, and her words hit like a slap.

“Excuse me?!” Emilia blinked, completely taken aback.

#Oh, so you can talk,# the woman smirked. #I thought you were just some decorative doll.#

“WHAT?!” Emilia gasped, fully offended.

Just like that, the two girls were at each other's throats—well, more like one of them was, and the other was trying to keep up.

Emilia, bless her, wasn’t exactly trained in the art of verbal combat.

“Y-You nincompoop! Meany!” she shouted, flustered and red-faced. As you can see, She is trying her best.

The woman on the screen gasped. #How could you?! I can't believe you’d say that to me!#

“I– Wait, I didn’t mean—”

#That was sarcasm, dumbass.#

Yeah. Echidna was absolutely winning.

The carriage had noticeably slowed down. The pink-haired maid driving up front was clearly eavesdropping, doing her best to catch whatever bizarre conversation was going on behind her.

#Seriously, Subaru, why don’t you just ditch her and head straight to the Sanctuary? We’ve got plenty of houses, free food, and I basically run the place.# the white-haired girl said, her tone lazy and confident.

“Technically, Roswaal owns that place now,” Subaru finally spoke, breaking his long silence after surviving the verbal bloodbath between Emilia and the witch.

#Eh, potæto potato.# she shrugged.

“Subaru!” Emilia turned to him, finally fed up. She’d been trying to hold it in, but enough was enough. “Who is she?! Why is she being so mean to me?!”

Subaru sighed. This day was getting way too weird way too fast.

You know what? Screw it. I’m not getting in the middle of this, Subaru thought, suddenly realizing something important—he didn’t have to be part of this conversation. This wasn’t his fight.

So he decided to call in someone who was definitely included in this mess.

“Wake up, Puck! Your mom is harassing your daughter!” he shouted, pointing directly at the glowing pendant on Emilia’s chest.

The gem flickered with a soft green light before a small, bipedal, floating cat appeared, yawning and rubbing his eyes like he’d just been woken up from the best nap of his life.

“What’s wrong? Yaaawn... This isn’t the time I’m supposed to be up, y’know?” Puck mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his little furry paw.

Subaru didn’t say a word. He simply turned the phone around and showed him the screen—with her on it.

Puck blinked.

There was something oddly familiar about the white-haired woman staring back at him. He tilted his head.

“Who’s this?” he asked.

“That’s your mom,” Subaru said flatly.

“WHAT?!” both Puck and Emilia shouted at the same time.

“Why are you surprised?” Subaru looked at Emilia. “I did say she was Puck’s mom, didn’t I?”

“I thought you were joking! Or just trying to get Puck’s attention or something!” Emilia said, flustered.

#Figures. The bitch must’ve traded her brain for her tits.# came the voice from the phone again—sweet, smug, and rude as hell.

“Echidna, I swear to god, I will end this call if you say one more thing about her,” Subaru warned sharply, glaring at the screen.

Echidna just clicked her tongue in annoyance.

“We’re getting off-topic!” Puck flailed a bit, floating anxiously. “Is she really my mom?! The one Betty keeps talking about?!”

Subaru let out a sigh.

This was not how he thought the conversation would go.

He had assumed Puck would just poof in, say something cute and final, and end the whole interaction with Echidna. But noooo. Turns out the cat was just as clueless as everyone else.

"Alright then! Proper introduction it is!" Subaru finally said, throwing his hands up. "Let’s just rip the band-aid off."

If he died, he died. He could just rewind anyway. Might as well roll with it.

He pointed at the screen. "The girl on the phone is Echidna. Puck’s and Betty’s mom. Also known as the Witch of Greed."

The carriage came to a sudden stop.

"...What?" came a high-pitched, very not-happy voice from the driver’s seat.

"I know! I know! It sounds bad!" Subaru quickly said, waving his hands like he was trying to physically push the bad vibes away. "But believe me, I’m just as confused as you are about how or why she’s calling me in the first place!"

He looked around the carriage at everyone staring at him like he’d just confessed to kicking puppies for fun.

"Look," he continued, trying to sound calm and failing, "I've been telling the truth this whole time. Lying to people who can shoot fireballs or read minds sounds like a terrible idea. So yeah. That’s Echidna. She called me. I don’t know why."

#You could just ask. I am right here,# Echidna’s voice suddenly chimed in from the phone, reminding everyone she hadn’t gone anywhere. Somehow, she'd made the sentence sound smug.

Subaru sighed. “Alright then, I’ll ask. Why—and how—are you calling me? Aren’t you, y’know… dead?”

Everyone leaned in a little, waiting for her answer like it was the next plot twist in a drama they accidentally got invested in.

#The why and how are actually related,# she replied, her tone far too cheerful for someone talking about necromantic telecom services.

#It’s to see if I can! Finally, after four hundred years, this thing is going to be more than a glorified pocket library. Not even an infinite one, by the way. So impractical.#

Subaru blinked in surprise. Not knowing what to say, “What?” was the only thing he could get out.
“No. Why—how—are you calling me? You’re dead. There’s no Wi-Fi. Not even real atoms, because you’re in the spirit realm. How did you manage to make an internet connection—in the spirit realm?”

#Well, to answer that, I’d need to explain how you’re even receiving any internet service despite being... well... T here #

“Okay, then how am I here?” Subaru took the bait.

But Echidna clearly had other plans.

#Make a contract with me and I’ll tell you everything,# she said, far too generously, spreading her arms like she was offering a gift from the gods.

“I see.” Subaru nodded and closed his eyes.

And ended the call.

“I’m not doing that,” he said, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

The rest of the people in the carriage stared at him in deadpan silence. They wanted to complain—badly. She was about to explain everything, and Subaru just pulled the plug.

Then again, making a contract with a witch? Yeah... not the best idea. Even they knew that.

Still didn’t stop them from wanting to know though.

The carriage continued its journey toward their destination. Occasionally, Subaru’s phone would ring again, but he just ignored it.

“Shouldn’t you… answer her? What if she’s upset?” Emilia asked, ever the kind-hearted one.

“It’s okay. It’s just a scammer. Don’t worry about it,” Subaru replied, trying to ease her concern.

“What’s a skammer?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion. Apparently, the vocabulary in this world wasn’t quite up to speed with his.

“Don’t worry about it,” he repeated.

He had a feeling he was going to be saying that a lot from now on.

Chapter Text

“Oh my~ What’s with that frightened look? Why don’t you sit a little closer so we can have a proper conversation~?” said the lady of the house in a sweet, flirty tone.

Subaru, meanwhile, was no longer at the table. He had dragged his chair behind Emilia and was now using her as a very confused half-elf shield.

“Get the hell away from me,” he muttered, visibly shaken.

“Now now~ There’s no need to be rude,” Roswaal replied with a gentle smile, tilting her head. “I only wanted to meet the heroic young man who saved my liege from certain doom.”

‘Nobody believes your Kenjaku-looking ass, Roswaal.’ Subaru kept the thought to himself, eyes locked onto her like she was a final boss trying to fake an early-game NPC vibe.

She didn’t sound like the Roswaal he remembered. Didn’t act like him. And the worst part?

He had no idea what she was planning.

He’s swimming blind now. Canon? Out the window.

Is she still going to try reviving Echidna? For what? She has no dick. What does she want—cuddles?
Do you think there’s anyone insane enough to live for four hundred years, doing warcrimes after warcrimes, all for the promise of future cuddles?

…Yes. That person’s name is Roswaal.

On second thought?
Anything is possible with that guy, or girl— FUCK!

That will take a while to get used to.

"Besideeeee," the creepy lady-girl-whatever spoke again with that same syrupy tone, "you can’t eat Rem’s cooking without a table~"

Sure enough, there were three sets of meals laid out. Two sat neatly in front of Emilia and Roswaal—the only two people actually seated like normal human beings. The third was placed on Emilia’s other side, where Subaru used to be sitting... before he abandoned his chair to use the half-elf as cover from the elegant menace across the table.

Subaru, of course, couldn’t care less. He reached over, grabbed his plate, and started eating straight from his hand—still crouched behind Emilia.

“What an impressive solution for such a problem,” Roswaal praised, voice dripping with amusement. “But that’s not the proper maaaaanners~”

“I know you’re not talking to me about manners,” Subaru shot back without missing a bite.

"Subaru? What’s going on? You’re being really rude right now," Emilia finally spoke up, turning slightly to glance at the boy using her as an improvised meat shield.

"What’s going on is that this is not in the script," Subaru replied instantly, voice flat but eyes locked on the elegant horror across the table.

"...The script?"

"You remember when I said the world is a story?" She gave a slow nod, still confused.

"Well, in that story, Roswaal is a guy. Not... this. And even as a guy, he was weird. I'm not about to find out what this version is like."

"Oh my~ what very degrading wooooords," Roswaal sang sweetly, her smile stretching wider. "But... it doesn't feel bad at aaaall~" she added, hugging herself in a weird, almost giddy way—like she was squealing with delight over the insult.

"No! You are not doing that! Stop it!" Subaru snapped, pointing a shaky finger at her like she was a cursed object. "Every time you talk it feels like I’m one syllable away from becoming a cautionary tale!"

"I think you're just exaggerating," said a voice from Emilia's necklace as the crystal blinked to life.

With a small flash, a flying furball emerged—Puck, stretching in midair like this was all perfectly normal. "Roswaal’s weird, sure, but she’s not that bad."

"No, you don’t understand," Subaru pointed an accusatory finger. "The guy Roswaal looked like he molested people for fun. I’m not sticking around to find out what the female version does for kicks!"

"Well, you kinda have to," Puck said with an infuriating shrug. "This is her mansion. Either deal with it or walk."

Subaru paused. That option was… tempting.

Arlam Village? Petra? Never heard of her. Irrelevant.

But then he thought of Beako.

"God damn it. Why does everyone important live here?" Subaru hissed through his teeth, every inch of his body screaming leave, while every thread of the plot screamed stay.

Roswaal, on the other hand, was just smiling. As long as Subaru stayed here, everything was going according to her plan. The terror in his eyes? That's just a bonus.

"In any caaaaase," Roswaal chimed, bringing the conversation back to its original track, "we still need to talk about your rewaaard. What would you like? Money? Land? Or perhaps... meeeeeee?" She said that last part in the most flattering yet serious voice—like she was actually offering herself as the prize.

"Noooo! Stop! Please, I can't take this anymore!" Subaru kept screaming in terror at every teasing word that left her mouth.

"I'll leave. I will actually leave, Roswaal. Beako and all of you be damned. I will walk out of this mansion if this keeps going," Subaru warned, dead serious.

He liked Emilia. He liked Beako. He even liked Rem.
But this?

This might be a dealbreaker.

He might actually just pack his bags and leave.

"A shame, I was just starting to have fun," Roswaal said, voice playful but eyes sharp. "But seriously though—what would you like? I can offer you anything you desiiiiiire... as long as you stay."

"Not really trying to play the innocent noble lady again, are you?" Subaru shot back.

"It wouldn't make sense to," she replied with a sweet smile. "Since you already know better."

Subaru sighed in frustration. Again. It seemed to be his default mood ever since he arrived in this world.

"Fine," he muttered. "You know the drill. I’ll stay, play the butler or whatever, help Emilia become king, and you get what you want."

The noble lady’s smile somehow grew even wider.

"But!" Subaru raised a finger. "I want magic lessons on top of the literature ones. I’m not fighting anyone else blind."

"Faaaair enough~ I hope we can have a long and fruitful relationship, Subaru-kun," Roswaal replied, still wearing that infuriating smile.

"Stop squirming, Barusu."

"I can’t help it! It’s not every day I get this up close and personal with girls like you!"

After that horrendous lunch with the surprising lady of the house, Subaru now found himself standing in a closet, getting measured by two oni maids so they could tailor him a proper uniform.

"Mmm. Savor it. Might be the last time you’ll ever be in this kind of situation," Ram commented lazily. She wasn’t even helping—Rem was the one actually taking the measurements, while Ram just stood there, supervising for no reason other than to mess with him.

"Oh sure, I’m thrilled to be touched by someone with murderous intention," Subaru muttered. Seriously, he needed to stop saying stuff like this in front of people who might actually do it.

"Oh please. If we wanted you dead, you already would be," Ram said with a smirk.

"Don’t I know it," Subaru sighed, only to get a sharp reprimand from Rem the moment he moved his shoulder and ruined the measurement.

"Please stay still, Subaru-kun."

"Yes, ma'am," he muttered, accepting his fate.

A few minutes later and she finished up his measurement

"His posture is bad, his shoulders are uneven, and he doesn’t really fit any of our butler uniforms," Rem reported calmly after finishing her measurements.

"Ram sees. With these numbers, a butler uniform might really be out of the question," Ram said, eyeing Subaru thoughtfully. "But he could probably fit into one of the dresses."

Now it was Rem’s turn to look at Subaru, eyes narrowing slightly like she was imagining it. "That’s right. The old ones from Frederica might fit."

Subaru’s eyes narrowed. "I don’t know what you two are thinking, but I am not wearing a maid dress."

"But it would fit, don’t you think? Everyone in this mansion wears a dress," Ram said smugly.

And... unfortunately, she had a point. Now that Roswaal was a woman, literally everyone here wore a dress.

He was the only guy in the entire mansion.

"Oh god, is this one of those harem plotlines? Am I going to be in the middle of a harem shenanigan?! Not that I hate it, but it's cringe as hell!" Subaru thought out loud and held his head in horror.

"Nee-Sama, Nee-Sama. He’s speaking gibberish again."

"Rem Rem, Ram doesn’t know what a harem is, but Ram is sure it’s something perverted."

While Subaru lamented the fact that he was now the only boy in a mansion full of beautiful girls, completely unsupervised, the maids kept insulting him in stereo.

"That's the kitchen."

"This is where we keep the tools."

"This is the main bathroom."

"This is Roswaal-sama's office."
"Hiiiiii~"
"Moving on!"

"This is the library."

Several rooms later...

"And that’s all the important places you need to memorize," Rem said, her tone as calm and polite as ever.

After being given a loose-fitting butler uniform, Subaru was promptly dragged around for a full tour of the mansion. A necessary evil, apparently, so he could learn where everything was.

"Did you get all that?" Rem asked.

"Not a chance," Subaru answered confidently—far too confidently for someone who retained absolutely none of it.

“All I know is that this is Beako’s room,” Subaru declared confidently, opening a random door.

Sure enough, the forbidden library was there—along with Beatrice and Puck cuddling on a floating cushion.

"How are you doing that?!" Beatrice yelled from across the room, eyes wide with surprise.

"Instinct," Subaru replied coolly, closing the door.

He immediately opened it again… and this time, it was just a regular room.

Rem just stood there, silently watching his theatrics.

“It’s fine,” she finally said. “You’ll remember everything eventually. For now, let’s just do the chores around the house.”

“And that is…?”

“Preparing lunch.”

“We just had breakfast!”

And just like that, Subaru’s day as a butler began. It was a bit exhausting, especially for someone who’d never done this much physical activity back in his old world.

In the kitchen

Subaru slashed at a potato with the knife, clearly attempting to peel it.

“You’re not sharpening a stick, you’re peeling a tattō,” Ram commented dryly.

“The fact that you guys haven’t even invented a peeler yet makes you unqualified to tell me shit,” Subaru shot back, continuing his aggressive potato-slashing technique—bits of peel flying everywhere like confetti.

"Here." Rem took the mangled bits of potato from Subaru—and the knife too.

She placed the knife gently against a new potato, then rotated the potato with practiced ease.

“Oooooooh.” Subaru watched like he was witnessing the invention of fire.

She handed the knife back, and he eagerly grabbed a fresh potato, mimicking her technique.

“This is so much easier! Thanks!” he said to the blue-haired maid. “You really are a good maid.”

“Of course. Ram’s sister is the best of all,” said the pink-haired maid… while holding a potato that looked like it had lost a fight with a maniac.

Laundry

Subaru was now doing laundry by hand, his arms soaked to the elbow in soapy water. Next to him, Rem silently scrubbed away like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"You have washing boards but no washing machine? How hard is it to make things spin?" he complained, grumbling at the ancient tech level of the mansion. Again.

"If you can make it, Rem wouldn’t mind using it later. Laundry is one of the most time-consuming chores of the day," she replied, focused on scrubbing a bedsheet like it had personally offended her.

"How many sheets does this mansion have anyway? Why are there so many of them?!"

"Less complaining, more washing, Barusu."

"Why don’t you quit commanding and actually do something right?!"

Lunch.

"Staff eats after the masters," Ram said, blocking Subaru just as he was about to take a seat at the table.

"I can assure you Roswaal’s not going to say anything about me eating here," Subaru replied confidently. He knew Roswaal understood his value—probably too much.

"Maybe. But Ram will have something to say about it instead."

Subaru stared at her for a moment before sighing in defeat. Arguing with Ram was like arguing with gravity.

He quietly stepped aside and waited for his turn to eat lunch like a good little servant.

Cleaning the dishes.

"Rem Rem. Can I ask a question?" the newly hired butler said, sleeves rolled up and hands soaked in suds.

"Yes," Rem replied calmly, scrubbing a plate beside him.

"How many people live here?"

"Four. Six including the spirits. Seven with you."

"Right right. There are seven people who lived here..."

"So how the hell do we have this many dirty dishes?!" Subaru pointed at the towering pile of plates and glasses stacked beside the sink like some unholy porcelain monument.

"Two of them don't even eat!"

Sweeping the whole mansion

"How big is this mansion?!"

Mopping the whole mansion

"Again! How big is this mansion?!"

Break time – Taking a bath

Subaru cautiously stepped into the massive bath. His eyes darted around the room, peeled for any sudden appearances from a certain clown-themed noblewoman.

Trust issues: unlocked.

Tending the garden

"This is chill. I like this. This is fun," Subaru hummed, gently clipping at the leaves.

Compared to the other chores, this was practically a vacation. Peaceful. Soothing.

...That is, until he took a step back and looked at the plants.

They looked slaughtered.

Fortunately, Rem was right behind him, salvaging what remained before it turned into a horticultural crime scene. Then Ram passed by, trimmed one branch, and somehow made it look like a post-dragon-attack disaster zone again.

Rem fixed them again though.

Break time until dinner.

"Fuaaaah. Finally, I can take a break," Subaru sighed dramatically, collapsing onto the grass with his arms and legs splayed out like a fallen starfish.

"You’ve worked hard today, Subaru," Emilia said with a gentle smile, sitting in a nearby gazebo as she sipped tea delicately from her cup. Rem stood beside her, having just served the tea.

Ram was there too. For some reason.

"Ehh... I don’t know. Kinda feels pointless," Subaru muttered, staring up at the sky. "Rem seems more than enough to handle most of the chores."

"All of the chores," Ram corrected flatly.

"Right. All of the chores," Subaru repeated. "Honestly, she’s like a super maid or something. I’m actually impressed."

"Is grass green, Barusu? Why are you saying something so obvious?" Ram rolled her eyes.

"Honestly? I'm not even sure if you call it green, considering you people call potatoes Tatoes," Subaru shot back, not missing a beat.

"And here we are again." Ram sighed with mock exhaustion. "For the last time, Barusu, it's called Tatoes. Your world is the one butchering up names."

"And I'm telling you for the last time too—my world is way older than yours. So I'm pretty sure we named it first."

"Oh, so we’re doing this again?!"

They had been at it for a while now—insulting each other's worlds like two aliens arguing over whose planet had the better plumbing system.

Pointless? Absolutely.

But surprisingly fun. Not just for Subaru, but Ram too… though she'd rather bite her own tongue than admit that out loud.

"—Bold words for someone who came from a world without magic," Ram huffed, folding her arms like she'd already won.

"Oh? You wanna go that way? and what have you been doing with that magic? Huh? Al Goa? Really? Al Goa?"

"You have a problem with Al Goa?"

"Yes! What kind of cave-man-ass spell is that?!" Subaru flailed a hand toward the sky. "The entire arcane might of the universe in the palm of your hand and the best you can think of is ‘Big Fire’? Prometheans. Ne-an-der-thals." He emphasized the last part. savoring every syllable like it was a personal attack.

"Okay, that's it! I'll show you how advanced our magic is!" Ram stood up from her seat, fists clenched and pride thoroughly wounded.

Subaru smirked without even lifting his head from the grass. "Oh, what are you gonna do? Fura?" he taunted. "SHARP WIND?! Oh yes, genius application of magic there ladies and gentlemen. Truly the pinnacle of arcane evolution."

"You really are itching to be turned into fertilizer, aren't you?"

"I'm just saying," Subaru replied with a shrug, still lying comfortably in the grass. "You've got a whole world of magic at your fingertips and the best you can do is ‘ow, wind hurt’?"

Ram’s eye twitched. A dangerous aura began radiating off of her.

Rem, who was still quietly pouring tea next to Emilia, subtly scooted the teapot away from the blast zone.

"The only magic that actually looks like magic is the one from the Yin branch," Subaru continued, lazily waving his hand in the air. "And I'm pretty sure Flugel invented half of it."

"Who the hell is Flugle?" Ram snapped, still fuming.

"A guy from my world," Subaru replied with zero hesitation. "Got isekai’d over four hundred years ago, and I would gladly bet my entire existence that he’s the reason your civilization didn’t collapse into magical caveman society."

Rem’s hand froze mid-sip.

Emilia blinked. “Wait, are you saying–?”

"Yes," Subaru interrupted, his hand moving in the air while he was explaining. "I’m telling you right now, the only reason your ancestors didn’t try to cook water with Al Goa is because some weirdo named Flugel showed up and said, ‘You know what would be cool? Literacy.’ he is the reason you are alive!"

"...You're insane," Ram muttered.

"And yet you haven’t proved me wrong."

"If he was so smart, why didn't he stop the Witch of Envy from destroying half the world?" Rem asked, a little too passionately for an afternoon chat.

"He did! He is the Sage. The one who sealed the Witch of Envy — along with the Divine Dragon and the First Sword Saint."

"Impossible. The Sage’s name was—"

"Shaula? Right?" Subaru cut Ram off before she could finish rejecting the truth. "Yeah, that’s what people think who the sage was. But the truth is, he’s dead. Probably. The one in that big-ass tower isn’t the Sage. That’s his apprentice — Shaula."

The girls were stunned by the massive info dump he just delivered—especially with how casually he acted, like it wasn’t a big deal at all.

"How did you... know any of this?" Emilia asked, still trying to wrap her head around what he just said. "None of that was in any history book I’ve ever read."

"I told you. I’ve read the story. I’m basically a walking mountain of secret knowledge that nobody knows—except for a very select few." Subaru replied, completely unfazed.

"What do you know about the Witch Cult?" Rem suddenly asked, her tone sharp and serious—clearly holding onto that question ever since Subaru started spouting forbidden knowledge like it was casual trivia.

Subaru smiled, pleased. Finally, someone is asking the important stuff.

"Everything. What do you wanna know?"

"Where is their base?"

"No idea," he shrugged. "The story never mentioned that. Their whole thing is being secretive, y'know? I doubt the author would just write ‘Oh, this is where they live, why don’t you give them a knock?’ That’d be some seriously lazy writing."

"What. Do you know. About them?" Rem asked again, slower this time. Her voice sharper, colder—like a blade just about to be drawn.

Subaru raised both hands, still casual but with a bit more caution now. "I can tell you their names, powers, appearances… the whole lineup of their top brass."

He paused, then added with a shrug, "Other than that, the story kinda holds everything back for the final arc. Which I haven’t read yet."

“Talk.” She said it like a command—not a request.

“Do you want it chronologically or alphabetically?”

“I said talk!” Yeah, she's definitely losing patience.

“Okay! Geez, calm down!” Subaru raised his hands defensively. “I’ll just go by how strong they are, alright?”

Despite the casual act, there was a hint of fear in his voice. No matter how adorable Rem looked, he was fully aware she could probably rip his head off with her bare hands.

“Okay! So, the weakest ones—Gluttony. The Archbishop of Gluttony is pretty weak compared to the others. If you’re physically stronger than them, and you’re not dumb enough to give them your name, you’re fine.”

“Your name?” Emilia asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yup. Their power lets them eat your name and memories. If they eat your memories, you’ll forget who you are. If they eat your name, everyone else forgets who you are.”

“What do you mean by ‘everyone forgets who you are’?” Ram asked, skeptical.

“I mean exactly that. To everyone else, it’s like you were never born. If they ate Rem’s name, you’d genuinely believe—with your whole heart—that you never had a sister in the first place.”

That explanation shook the sisters a bit—just imagining a power that vile made their skin crawl.

“And they’re the weakest?” Emilia asked in disbelief.

“Yeah. Their power’s nasty, but it’s easy to counter. Just don’t give them your real name. Or better yet, give a fake one—that’ll mess them up and give you time to land a final blow,” Subaru explained, casually waving off the terror he just described. The girls slowly nodded, filing the information away.

“You keep saying they. How many are there?” Rem asked, narrowing her eyes.

“I’m glad you asked. Three, technically. But one of them is chilling in the space between the real world and Od Laguna or something, so I don’t think she matters right now.”

He leaned back with a shrug.

“The other two look like boys around fifteen, both of them got sharp teeth. I could show you what they look like, but I’d need my phone for that… and it’s in my room, which I’m not walking all the way back to just for a PowerPoint presentation.” Subaru waved the idea off like it was beneath him. “Their names were Roy Alphard and Lye Batenkaitos.”

Rem, upon hearing his explanation, looked like she was a second away from marching straight into his room to grab the phone herself.

But… she didn’t.

"Next one. Tell me the others," Rem demanded again, her tone still more of a command than a request.

"Second weakest—Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti, Archbishop of Sloth," Subaru began. "His power gives him dozens of Unseen Hands—invisible shadow-like arms with crazy strength. Like, rip-a-tree-from-the-ground kind of strength. He’s strong, but not unbeatable. That’s why he’s only the second weakest."

He leaned back slightly, lowering his voice just a little. "The most annoying part about him, though, is that he’s a spirit. Every time he dies, he can jump into another body. It’s not infinite, but you’d have to kill him a lot before he finally stays dead."

The girls listened closely, their expressions sharpening at the mention of Unseen Hands and body hopping.

"Next one. Sirius Romanee-Conti," Subaru continued. "Yeah, you can tell from the name—she’s got some connection to Petelgeuse. Disgusting, I know."

"Her power lets her link herself—or other people—to everyone around her. Which means fighting her is basically suicide. She can just link herself to you, and if she dies, you die."

He paused and grimaced.

"Or worse… she can link you to someone nearby, then kill them to kill you. It's terrifying. Very strong, but again—not unbeatable."

"You keep saying not unbeatable. Is there anyone in their ranks actually unbeatable?" Ram asked, picking up on his phrasing. It was a fair question—and a concerning one.

Subaru let out a short chuckle, though it carried no humor.

"Oh yes. Believe it or not, there's someone in their ranks who can go toe-to-toe with the Sword Saint… and live."

"Ram would like to choose not to believe it," the pink-haired maid deadpanned.

Subaru chuckled again, a bit more amused this time. "Alright, now we’re entering the realm of practically unbeatable—if you don’t know their weakness."

But before he could elaborate, a hand gently went up.

"Yes, Emilia-tan?" he acknowledged, smiling.

"What were Petelgeuse and Sirius’s weaknesses?" she asked, tilting her head slightly.

Subaru paused for a beat.

"The fact that they’re complete lunatics. Next!" he answered without missing a beat, brushing it off like a teacher skipping to the next topic in a lecture.

"Capella Emerada Lugunica. Sin Archbishop of Lust," Subaru began, his tone dipping a little. "Her Authority lets her transform any biological creature into another biological creature. Or just... parts of them."

The silence that followed was uneasy.

"Technically," he continued, "the Sword Saint could still kill her. And so could a lot of others in theory. But the real issue is that her transformation ability basically lets her survive anything. You cut off her head? She grows a new one. You stab her heart? She turns it into something else."

He waved his hand like he was swatting away the thought. "The only way I can think of killing her is to just wipe her out completely. Like, area-of-effect magic big enough to vaporize her, or Sword Saint’s 'boom boom’ technique that just vaporizes people from existence."

Rem was quietly horrified. Emilia stared in horror. Ram, despite herself, was paying close attention.

"Also, as a bonus fact," Subaru added casually, "she’s an awful, awful person. Like, irredeemably disgusting. So you won’t feel bad about any of that."

Subaru’s expression turned grim as he spoke, his usual light-hearted tone all but vanished.

"That was quite obvious. But still, elaborate," Ram pressed, arms crossed.

"Right," Subaru nodded. "So, she’s the head of an assassin organization—that alone says she has plenty of blood on her hands. But what really makes her vile is how she uses her power."

He paused for a moment, almost regretting what he was about to say.

"Even her own underlings aren’t safe. She punishes them in ways so grotesque I can’t even make jokes about it. Like turning them into worms… and then stepping on them. Killing them slowly, painfully. Or turning them into massive, twitching blobs of nerve and flesh—living things that can’t do anything but feel pain."

The garden grew quiet. Subaru’s voice lowered.

"Sometimes she changes parts of their brains into those of animals. Like a dog. So for a while they are animals. And then she changes them back. And now they remember everything they did—as an animal."

He looked up at the three girls, dead serious. "Can you imagine that? Being unable to think like a person, acting on pure instinct… and then coming back and remembering it all? You can’t imagine it. That’s the thing. It’s beyond human understanding. It's not just twisted. It's inhumane."

He let the silence hang for a beat.

"And that’s how she treats her allies. Now just imagine what she does to her enemies."

The girls could only sit there, wide-eyed and horrified, the weight of Subaru's description sinking deep into their minds. The sheer cruelty, the madness—it was hard to believe anyone could be that evil.

Then Subaru, as if talking about the weather, waved his hand dismissively.

"Or so they said anyway."

The shift in tone was instant.

"What do you mean 'or so they said'?" Ram snapped, her voice sharp with frustration. "Is she doing those things or not?"

Subaru shrugged, utterly unfazed by her rising irritation. "Well, the story never actually showed her doing it. But it implied she did. You know— Passing conversation. Background menace. Just pure vibes. Most of it comes from theory and speculation. So yeah, nobody really knows for sure."

"...You're telling us all that like it’s a divine prophecy and now it’s just maybe?" Ram looked like she wanted to hit him with the tea pot..

"I mean, she probably did it. She's definitely the kind of person who would," Subaru reasoned, arms crossed like he was the local expert on morally bankrupt war criminals. "But everything I just told you? Yeah, the accuracy dropped by, like, fifty percent the second Roswaal decided to be a woman."

"...What?" Ram blinked, thrown off entirely.

"In the story, he’s a man," Subaru emphasized, pointing at nothing in particular. "Now she’s a woman. A woman in heels, flirting, and mentally breaking me before breakfast. So who knows what else changed? For all I know, Cappella could be a magical girl now."

The girls stared at him.

"I’m serious!" Subaru groaned. "This entire clown-themed conundrum has me questioning everything. Canon? What canon? I might as well throw the wiki out the window and start taking notes all over again."

Subaru threw his hands up like a frustrated theater kid missing his cue. “You don’t get it! This whole thing was already insane, but now? Now I have to go through everything again! I expected a crazy clown wizard man—not a flirty noblewoman who looks like she stepped out of a Final Fantasy fan mod! I don’t know what’s canon anymore! Every event is a surprise party and I’m the idiot guest of honor!”

“Subaru,” Rem interrupted, voice flat with just a tinge of sternness. “We are getting off-topic.”

"Right, right." He took a deep breath, then nodded. "You asked who in the Witch Cult could actually go toe-to-toe with the Sword Saint. Capella can’t, for the record—gross and powerful, yes. But beat Reinhard? Nah."

He held up two fingers. “There are two people who can. Let’s start with the weaker one. Weaker not in the ‘Reinhard wins’ way, but more like… ‘technically, you could kill him, Rem. If—and that’s a big if—you know his weakness.’”

He let the name hang in the air like a dark cloud.

“Regulus Corneas. Sin Archbishop of Greed.”

Rem’s brow furrowed. Emilia leaned forward slightly, curious.

“His Authority lets him stop an object’s time,” Subaru explained. “That means freezing its progression—no aging, no decay, no movement… nothing. It becomes untouchable. Not because of some magic shield, but because reality literally won’t let you interact with it anymore.”

“Stopped… their time? Like, making them freeze mid-air?” Emilia asked carefully.

“Technically? Yeah. But worse. See, he can also move the object after freezing it. Which turns it into the ultimate paradox—an immovable object and an unstoppable force. He can do this to parts of the environment. He can do it to projectiles. He can do it to his own body.”

Subaru leaned back, voice grim.

“That’s why I said even the Sword Saint can’t kill him. You can’t hurt something that never changes. Cause and effect? Doesn’t apply to him when he activates that power. So long as he’s ‘frozen,’ he’s invincible. No wounds, no aging, no breathing—nothing affects him.”

He let the silence settle.

“That’s Regulus. A guy who thinks being untouchable makes him righteous.”

"Then how could Rem defeat that man? What is his weakness?" Rem asked.

"His wives!" Subaru said joyfully, which made the girls stare at him like he was either insane or incredibly stupid.

"..."

"No, I'm serious. His weakness is his wives. See, for all the invincibility he has, it's not perfect. Otherwise, the world would’ve been long gone by now."

He held up a finger. "He can’t freeze the time of his heart for more than five seconds, or he’ll die of a heart attack. Don’t ask me why—divine limitations or whatever. Probably just a failsafe so he’s not too broken."

"And to get around that?" Ram asked, eyes narrowing.

"He has another ability that lets him link his heart to someone else’s. Specifically—his wives. That way, he can keep freezing himself as long as their hearts keep beating."

"Wives? How many wives does he need?" Emilia asked, noticing the plural

"One is enough," Subaru nodded. "But of course, he’s the Sin Archbishop of Greed. The bastard has hundreds.... Of dead ones. The one that is still alive is about forty"

"Disgusting" Rem venomously spat.

"Ram is guessing none of those wives were there by choice?" she asked, her voice dry with disgust.

"Obviously. He just went around kidnapping women from all over the world. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Not even the Sword Saint can kill him—unless he knows his weakness."

He pointed a finger at Rem, smirking.

"So, if you want to kill him, you have to stop his wives’ hearts. The easiest way is killing them... but come on, you’ve got magic. You’ll figure out another way."

Then he leaned back smugly. "Unless of course I’m right, and the best you can do is ‘Big Fire.’"

Ram really wanted to show him just what kind of “Big Fire” she was capable of, but alas, she held her rage. Barely.

Not like she can use fire magic anyway.

"And lastly," Subaru continued, "the leader of the Witch Cult herself. The Witch of Vainglory—whose name I cannot say, because I’m pretty sure there’s a curse tied to it or something. If you say her name, she can see you."

"Wait, Vainglory?" Emilia tilted her head. "Isn't it supposed to be the Witch of Envy?"

That title struck a chord in her—something deep and uncomfortable—but she couldn’t quite put her finger on why.

"Nope. Envy is still sealed, so she can’t really tell anyone to do anything now, can she?" Subaru explained, carefully avoiding the real truth—that even when she wasn’t sealed, Satella was never the one giving the orders.

But that kind of blasphemy could get him killed, so he wisely kept that part to himself.

"That’s why Vainglory is the one doing the commanding now."

He leaned back and continued, "Her power lets her change the cause of an event that already happened, and in doing so, changes the effect itself."

"...Why don’t you talk like an actual human being instead of gibberish, Barusu?" Ram cut in, clearly annoyed and still not understanding a word of it.

Subaru, instead of explaining further, suddenly turned around on the grass and started rummaging for something.

"Here, catch!" he shouted, tossing a small rock at Rem.

She effortlessly caught it.

"Now, can you tell me the sequence of events that led to that rock ending up in your hand?" he asked.

Rem stared at the rock for a moment before answering.
"You picked up the rock from the grass. You threw it at Rem. Then Rem caught it."

"Correct!" Subaru grinned. "But now, let’s say we change one of those events—say, I never picked up the rock in the first place. What would happen?"

"Then the rock would still be on the grass," she replied, her eyes widening as realization struck.

"Exactly! That’s how her power works," Subaru said. "By changing the cause of an event that’s already happened, she can change the effect itself."

"This power, at first glance, seems strong but not unbeatable," Subaru began. "But then you start really thinking about it, and suddenly it hits you—wait a minute… how can anyone even attack her?"

He sat up, looking genuinely disturbed.

"She can make it so you never even left your house. She can make it so you never drew your sword. She can make it so your strike was aimed five centimeters to her right instead of directly at her. She can literally rewrite reality itself, making it so your attack never landed—making it impossible to kill her."

He shook his head, letting the weight of it settle on the girls.

"I’ve thought about it. Other people have tried to come up with theories. But honestly? I have no idea how to beat her. Nothing works. How do you kill someone who can just rewrite reality so that you never even went after her in the first place?

Like—imagine instead of turning right, you turned left and just kept walking forward. Now you’re in Banan or some random town halfway across the kingdom instead of right in her face. How are you supposed to beat that?"

Subaru let out his frustration, leaving the girls to sink into deep thought about how they could ever defeat such an opponent.

Conclusion: They can't.

"This is... a lot to take in," Emilia said, her head aching from the sheer amount of information Subaru had just dropped on them.

"To think the Witch Cult was led by such a monster..." Ram muttered under her breath.

Rem stood still, eyes fixed on Subaru, her thoughts swirling with confusion and conflict. She’d always suspected him. His scent. His behavior. His offhanded comments and the way he jabbed at her—it all made sense if he were connected to the Witch Cult somehow.

But then why?

Why would a Witch Cultist tell her the weaknesses of their own leaders? Why hand over knowledge that could be used to destroy them?

Is this a trap?
Is he lying?
Is he trying to demoralize her by making her enemies seem undefeatable?

It didn’t make sense.

None of it made sense.

And that’s when a dangerous, impossible thought began to creep into her heart—quiet and slow, like a whisper in the dark:

What if... he’s not a Witch Cultist at all?

Chapter Text

Inside a quiet bedroom nestled deep within the mansion, the dim glow of magical lanterns cast soft shadows on the walls. Sitting cross-legged on his bed, Subaru held a softly glowing rectangular device to his face—a relic from a world far different than the one he now called home.

On the screen, the image of a middle-aged woman flickered into view. Her voice, warm and familiar, crackled faintly through the device.

#Really? You’re not lying, are you?#

"I'm not, Mom. I haven’t died yet since I came here."

#Don’t say yet like that! You’re setting up a flag!#

Subaru let out a dry chuckle, leaning back against the bedpost with a sigh.

"Well, I wanted to be optimistic and say I’m not going to die, but let’s be real here—I live in a world where people have powers so broken they could wipe out a city just because they felt like it. What am I supposed to do against that?"

He laughed, but there was a flicker of unease buried in his voice—an edge of fear that slipped through despite his smile.

The screen shifted. The woman's image disappeared, replaced by a man with a calm, steady gaze and a deeper voice.

#We know, son. Just try your best—and don’t feel like you have to handle everything alone. Ask for help from those around you. And if something’s ever weighing on your mind… we’ll always be here for you.#

"I know, Dad. I've seen Arc 3 and 4—I know just how weak I am compared to the monsters of this world," Subaru said with a knowing smile. He had long since come to terms with his own powerlessness. "But I also know that no matter what, I’ll end up winning. So everything’s good."

He leaned forward a little, his eyes lighting up.

"Oh! And also—I got Roswaal to teach me magic sooner than in canon. So that's something."

The two figures on the screen blinked in surprise.

#Really? That’s great! Oh, but be careful, okay? We don’t want you breaking your magic or whatever like in the story.# said his mother

#It’s the Gate, honey. We don’t want him breaking his Gate.#

#Oh, shut it, you!#

The couple broke into lighthearted bickering, their familiar banter filling the room. Subaru couldn't help but smile at the sight—warmth bubbling in his chest as he watched them argue like they always did.

For a moment, the weight of the world outside that bedroom felt just a little lighter.

#But oh yeah, Subaru...#
His mother’s voice suddenly dropped several degrees in warmth, turning icy.

#We tried calling you last night, but you didn’t answer. Why is that?#
It wasn’t so much a question as it was a threat.

Subaru stiffened. “W-well… there’s a time difference, you know! Nighttime for you is daytime here! And I didn’t even get a chance to check my phone this morning. I woke up and was immediately ushered to breakfast with the lady of the house.”

He paused for dramatic effect.

“Oh right—Roswaal is a woman here.”

#WHAT?!#
Both parents shouted in unison, their faces practically pressing into the screen in shock.

“And then I became a butler and did chores all day! So I haven’t even touched my phone since this morning!”

His father waved a hand, still stuck on the bombshell.

#No no no—back up. Roswaal is a woman?! How?!#
His voice shot up in confused outrage, as if the very foundation of his Re:Zero knowledge had just been shattered.

Subaru’s plan to deflect from the real issue—why he ignored their calls—had worked flawlessly. Throwing the "Roswaal is a woman" bomb was enough to derail the entire conversation.

“Oh yeah, things are all kinds of funky here,” he told his parents casually, waving a hand in the air like he still hadn’t processed it himself. “I don’t think the plot's gonna follow canon anymore. I mean—what the hell? The clown is a woman now? Even I was shocked.”

He leaned a little closer to the camera with a wry smile.

“But everything’s fine. I’m alive, Roswaal is... weirdly flirty now. I think she’s trying to molest me, but I dunno—I haven’t stayed alone in a room with her, and I’m planning to keep it that way.”

He leaned back with a shrug, completely unfazed. “Either Ram or Rem should be barging in any minute now to give me my first-ever literature class in this world.”

He lifted the glowing device slightly. “Even if they speak Japanese, the written language here is completely different, remember?”

#Oh right, there were those problems in Arc 2, huh? Well, good luck, son! I’m sure you can do it!# Subaru’s dad gave him an enthusiastic thumbs-up through the screen.

Subaru smiled. It was comforting to know that even if he was in a different world, his dad still believed in him like always.

Then his mom's voice cut in, suddenly back on the real world’s concerns.

#Oh, by the way—we were about to report you missing,# his mom said, her tone shifting into something more serious, #but since you’re not actually missing—just got Isekai’d—we need you as proof so the police don’t think we’ve lost our minds. Since we couldn’t call you last night, what about tonight? Around 9 p.m. here? That should be 9 a.m. over there, right?#

Subaru winced a little, already calculating what that would mean for his morning.

“Ehh… 9 a.m. is when I usually start chores. What about a little earlier? Like, say, 6 a.m.? I’ll be sleepy, but I’ll set an alarm tonight so I'll be good"

#Sure. Oh! And when Rem or Ram come in, don’t hang up, okay? We need to talk to them.#

#More like your mom needs to talk to them,# his dad muttered under his breath.

Subaru blinked, sensing the storm before it hit.

#Oh? What’s that? Did I just hear someone say they don’t want to sleep in their own bed tonight?# his mother’s voice turned cold and commanding.

#N-Nothing, ma’am.# came the immediate reply, followed by an awkward silence on the other end of the call.

Subaru snorted back a laugh, covering his mouth as he leaned into the warm familiarity of home, even from across worlds.

"Haha... Naaah, not right now. I don’t think it’s time for you to talk to them yet," Subaru said with an awkward laugh, glancing nervously toward the door.

On the glowing screen, his parents squinted at him in unison.

#Why?#
His mom’s voice was sharp with suspicion.

"Because they’re still suspicious of me, obviously! And besides, there’s nothing going on between us anyway! Just because story–me and story–Rem had something doesn’t mean it’ll be the same here!"

He threw his hands up in exasperation, trying to defend himself—less against their teasing, and more against the implication behind their tone.

#What about Emilia? Is she good with you?# his mom asked with a hint of teasing in her voice. #You always did like her, even as a kid.#

"I liked her design and how she was portrayed," Subaru huffed, waving a hand. "Fiction and reality are two different things. But yes—she’s great. It’s nice knowing there’s at least one person in this mansion who’s not out to kill me or enslave me."

#Is Roswaal still doing that? Even as a woman?# his dad chimed in, confused but curious.

"I don’t know! That’s the most annoying part about her!" Subaru snapped, tossing his head back in frustration. "She's unpredictable! She's still got that smug aura and now she’s flirty?! What am I supposed to do with that?!"

#Alright, let’s put this Roswaal business aside. What about Beako? Have you talked to her about the contract yet?# his dad asked, steering the conversation in a different direction.

Subaru let out a long, weary sigh. “It’s not that easy Dad. She’s been waiting for so long... I can’t just waltz in and tell her it was all for nothing.”

His voice dipped lower, heavier. “That’s... actually why I’ve been avoiding her.”

#You’re avoiding her?# his mom asked, surprised and a little disappointed.

“I know! I know… I should try to get close to her, be her friend, try to... do something about her loneliness. But now that I’m here, actually in front of her—I have to admit, I’m scared.”

He looked away from the glowing screen, eyes distant.

“What if I’m not good enough, Mom? What if I can’t make the same impact as story–me did? What if… being with me is actually worse than staying alone in that library for eternity?”

His voice shook a little.

“I can’t risk that. What am I even supposed to say to her? What would we talk about? How do I even connect with someone like Beako? She is four hundred years old! Am I supposed to just repeat the lines from the story and hope it all works out?”

He shook his head, frustration twisting his expression.

“It would feel fake. I’d feel fake. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

His parents listened in silence, their son's voice filled with uncertainty and frustration as he talked about the great spirit who’d spent four hundred years locked away in a library.

He sounded anxious—not unlike that time before middle school, when he had to part ways with his childhood friends. He wanted to make new ones. He just didn’t know how.

#Subaru…# his mother finally spoke, her tone gentle but firm. #You are not Natsuki Subaru.#

"...Huh?" Subaru blinked, caught off guard. “What are you talking about? I am Natsuki Subaru.”

#No. You’re not. You are not the Subaru who shut himself away from the world. You’re not the boy who was forced to hide his problems until everything explodes and is forced to carry it all on his own.#

Her voice was steady, each word digging into the heart of what he hadn’t been able to say out loud.

#You don’t have to be him. You’re not that Natsuki Subaru. So don’t force yourself to follow his footsteps. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.#

Subaru felt a knot loosen in his chest, something subtle but deep. She was right. Ever since he landed in this world and saw how different things were—even just Roswaal being a woman—he’d been obsessing over the question: What would Subaru do?

And it had left him paralyzed. Like he had to match the actions of a version of himself from a story. A story he wasn’t actually in.

#You can be friends with her the same way you'd be friends with anyone else. Talk to her when you feel like it. Play with her if it feels right. Just be honest. No one is holding a script to your head.#

Her words struck a chord. A simple truth that had been lost beneath the weight of expectations—his own expectations of himself.

#Even if you don’t end up saving her... that’s okay. You tried. You cared. And if things don’t turn out the way you hoped, you’ll learn from it. That’s all anyone can do.#

#Just be yourself. Do the best you can. The 'what if' isn’t something you need to fear. We’re always here, Subaru. Just stay safe... and don’t forget, we’re proud of you. Always. #

Subaru fell quiet for a moment, his mother’s words echoing in his mind. He stared off into the dim corner of the room, his expression soft and thoughtful.

Then he exhaled, a small smile forming on his lips.

"...Actually, the ‘what if’ is something I need to fear. Especially the Re: Forgotten One,” he said with a playful smirk, throwing in a joke only he understood.

His parents blinked, exchanging a confused glance, but smiled anyway. Even if they had no clue what he was talking about, they were just glad to hear that lighter tone in his voice again.

"But anyway—thanks, I guess," Subaru added, his voice steady now. "I guess I just needed someone to actually say it to my face."

He leaned back against the headboard with a sigh that sounded more like relief than exhaustion.

"I don’t know what I was so scared about. This isn’t all that different from living a normal life, is it? No one knows what the future holds… so why should I be afraid of that?"

His parents beamed at him from the other side of the screen, proud and relieved. Their son had found a bit of clarity in a chaotic new world.

"I'll try to be more like myself—stay safe, and do what I want to do, not what story-me did," Subaru said with a soft smile.

His parents smiled back at him through the screen, proud.

They chatted for a few more minutes, exchanging lighter banter before finally ending the call.

Just in time, the door to his room creaked open, and in stepped a familiar figure in a maid outfit, blue hair swaying slightly with her movement.

"Oh, you’re here," Subaru said, looking up. He paused, narrowing his eyes slightly at the timing. "...Have you been standing outside my room this whole time?"

"Yes," Rem replied plainly. No hint of embarrassment. No hesitation.

"Well, guess privacy hasn’t been invented yet. Just like everything else," Subaru muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

He stood up and started straightening his bed and clearing space on the table, trying to make the room somewhat more presentable for what was apparently going to be a late-night tutoring session.

In another room of the mansion, a white-haired half-elf sat patiently while her hair was being combed by a small, floating, bipedal, cat-like spirit—her overly protective stepdad, in a way.

It was a tradition at this point. Sure, she could comb her own hair, but the little furball loved doing it for her. Definitely not weird at all for a magical flying cat to adopt a half-elf and pamper her for years to the point where he refused to let her handle even the simplest tasks herself.

Totally normal.

But tonight felt... different.

Emilia stared into the mirror, eyes unfocused, her usual brightness nowhere to be found. She’d been quiet the entire time—no humming, no idle chatter, no dreamy sighs about the weather.

Just silence.

It didn’t take long for Puck to notice. His paw slowed, then stopped entirely as he tilted his head in concern, one ear flicking gently.

“…You’re awfully quiet tonight, Lia,” the cat said, his paw slowing. “Is something on your mind?”

“Mm?” The half-elf blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. “No, nothing. It’s nothing important,” she replied, brushing it off with a soft shake of her head.

“You know you can talk to me, right? I’ll listen to whatever’s in that head of yours,” the cat offered gently, hoping to coax the truth out of her.

Because here’s the thing about this cat—he could feel emotions. Not read minds, not see thoughts, but sense the emotional current flowing through the people around him. And right now, the feelings radiating off his daughter were… concerning.

Unease. Confusion. A faint flicker of fear.

But most of all—curiosity. Longing. Hope.

Hope? That one stood out. Stronger than the rest, buzzing just beneath the surface.

Puck narrowed his eyes slightly, tilting his head in thought.

What in the world is she hoping for?

“It’s nothing, Puck. I was just thinking about what Subaru said this morning,” the half-elf finally responded, her eyes still fixed on her reflection.

“About the witch cult stuff?” the cat asked, ears twitching. “It is weird that he knows so much, but his alibi checks out. So, what’s there to think about?”

“No… not that.” Emilia’s voice was quieter now, almost uncertain. “I was thinking about how he said he’s read stories about us. If that’s true… then why is he here?”

Puck blinked and floated slightly lower. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… why me?” she said, eyes flickering downward. “He’s seen the story, right? He knows what I am… who I look like. So why did he choose to come with me? To live here? As a butler, even. It’s not like he didn’t have other choices—the Sword Saint offered him a place. And still… he decided to come here. With me.”

The question hung in the air, soft and fragile—yet heavy with emotion.

From the very first moment Subaru spoke to her, Emilia sensed something strange in his voice.

There was no fear. No disgust. No condescension or pretentious tone that always—always—came from people the moment they saw her ears or realized who she looked like.

At first, she thought he was simply ignorant. Maybe his parents never told him the tale of the Witch of Envy, never warned him about the silver-haired half-elf to be wary of.

But then he told her. He’d read about her world—like it was a story. And today, he proved it. He knew more about her world and its secrets than anyone had any right to. He wasn’t ignorant at all.

So… if he knew, then why?

Why did he speak to her like she was just another person?

Where was the fear? The disgust? The cautious stares and muttered prayers? Where was the hesitation?

The normal reaction to her was always the same—run, glare, or attack. No one just… talked to her. Not like he did. Subaru didn’t even hesitate. He spoke to her casually, encouraged her even, the very first time they met.

It was weird. He was weird. And Emilia had no idea what to do with that.

And it wasn’t like Subaru was fearless, either.

She saw how he reacted to Roswaal this morning—tense, guarded, cautious like a cornered animal. That wasn’t the behavior of someone bold or reckless. He was afraid. Just… not of her.

Roswaal. Roswaal L. Mathers. Head of the Mathers household. One of the most respected noble families in the kingdom—known for their mastery of magic and their long-standing influence.

And Roswaal herself? She was the most powerful magic user in the kingdom. Brilliant. Dangerous. Beautiful.

Emilia had seen how people looked at her. How men tried to court her with flattery and reverence—only to be turned away with a dismissive flick of the eye. Roswaal didn’t entertain attention. Not romantic, not casual, not anything.

But this morning… she was weird.

There was a different air around her. The way she spoke to Subaru. The way she teased him. Joked. Even lingered.

Emilia had never seen her act that way before. Especially not with a man.

What did she want from him?

Why was Subaru so scared of her?

The more Emilia thought about it… the less sense it made.

“Maybe he just fancies you,” Puck’s voice cut gently through her thoughts, casual and teasing.

“He is a growing boy, after all.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Puck,” she replied almost instantly, shaking her head.

Her? Really? Emilia?

Out of everyone in the mansion—Rem, Ram, Roswaal of all people—she was the one he fancied?

That was… stupid.

Even to her.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror, her own silver hair and violet eyes staring back at her. A face that reminded people of the Witch. A face that had gotten her cursed stares and cold shoulders for most of her life.

How could anyone look at that and feel anything but fear?

She wasn’t being modest. She was being realistic.

That kind of attention… wasn't meant for her.

Certainly not from someone like Subaru.

“Well!” Puck chimed again, his voice lighter now, “Whatever the reason, at least he’s nice. Let’s just put the why aside and see how he does from now on.”

With a satisfied flick of his paw, he floated back to admire his handiwork.

“Anyway, your hair is done! Let’s get you to bed now.”

The spirit began to glow softly, his small form dissipating into light as he returned to the pendant resting gently on Emilia’s chest.

She reached up and touched it with her fingers, feeling the warmth lingering in the metal.

Maybe he was right.

Maybe it didn’t matter why Subaru was here. Not right now. Not tonight.

Maybe, for now, it was enough just to wait and see.

With that thought, Emilia climbed into bed, pulled the blanket up to her chin, and let her eyes fall shut.

Whatever happens next… she’ll face it when it comes.

End of Chapter

Chapter Text

Inside a quiet bedroom nestled deep within the mansion, the soft hum of night filled the air. The magical lanterns gave off a low, comforting glow, casting slow-moving shadows that danced along the velvet curtains. The windows were open, letting in a cool breeze and the distant sound of nocturnal insects.

Two figures sat by the open window, bathed in moonlight. One was a woman draped in an elegant purple dress, her long, painted nails gently combing through the pink hair of the maid in her lap. The noble’s golden eyes sparkled mischievously as she gazed at the stars, a thick book resting open in her other hand.

“Sooooo~ seems like we have quite the interesting new butler, don’t you think, Ram?” Roswaal purred, her tone playful as her finger traced a line down the page without truly reading it.

The pink-haired maid, resting against her master's chest, gave the faintest huff. Her voice was flat, unimpressed, even as she allowed herself to melt further into the embrace.

“He’s more trouble than he’s worth,” Ram replied. “He’s terrible at most chores, complains constantly about how ‘backwater’ our technology is, and even has the gall to mock our magic.”

Her eyes narrowed just slightly, the memory clearly annoying her.

“Honestly, the audacity is the only thing remarkable about him.”

Roswaal chuckled, her arms tightening slightly around her maid’s waist, the book now momentarily forgotten in her lap.

The writing inside the book was not in any known language. But it was simple. Small. Straightforward Commands.

4:30 A.M.

"Yo. Who's up?"
A boy lying on his bed sent a message to the group chat.

Yama:
”Fck you mean ‘who’s up’? It’s 4 P.M.”

Teru:
“And there he is! Man, you skipped school twice and didn’t even tell us? Some friend you are.”

Subaru chuckled to himself as he typed back:
"Bro, I got isekai’d. How the hell am I supposed to invite you?"

Teru:
"For real?"

Subaru:
"For real."

Kame:
"In what way? Did you get hit by a truck or?"

Subaru:
"No, I blinked."

Kame, Teru, Yama:
"""Aaaaaah," that so?" It’s the usual then?"

Takeshi:
"Stop yapping. Are we gonna push some ranks or nah?"

Subaru:
"What ranks?"

Takeshi:
"I dunno. Fortnite? PUBG? Valo? Anything really, I am just bored."

Subaru:
"I can't do PC right now. They didn’t get Isekai’d with me."

Kame:
"But you have your phone?"

Subaru:
"Yup."

Teru:
"And you can still chat with us?"

Subaru:
"Uh-huh."

Yama:
"I call bullshit."

Teru, Kame, Takeshi :
"" "Ditto." ""

Subaru:
"Fuck you guys"

Teru:
"Oh! Almost forgot—The teacher said someone should check on you and give you the notes from the classes you missed."

Subaru:
"Still doesn’t change the fact that I’m in another world, but sure. My parents should be home, I think?"

Yama:
"Your dad’s not working?"

Subaru:
"He took time off to report me missing to the police. Probably. I’m gonna testify later that I’m actually in another world—maybe even to the Prime minister."

Yama:
"The Prime minister? That's kind of excessive, no?"

Subaru:
"Not really??? I’m literally living proof of multiversal travel—and don’t forget the whole magical abnormality thing. My phone still connects to Earth’s internet. This is a leap in science that won’t happen for at least a thousand years!"

Takeshi:
"Chill out, man. It’s not that deep."

Subaru:
"The hell do you mean not that deep? This is the deepest thing that can ever be. I’m a multiversal being now!"

Subaru:
"You monoversal creature should bow to me!"

Takeshi:
"Alright bro, you are doing too much."

Yama:
"All hail King Subaru"🙇‍♂️

Teru:
🙇‍♂️

Takeshi:
🖕

Kame:
"So this is... for real real? I honestly thought you were just messing with us."

Subaru:
"Dude. Even I’m not that committed to a joke."

Yama:
"So who's coming to his house to bring him the note?"

Teru:
"Class rep probably."

Subaru:
"Suzu-san?"

Teru:
"You know the class rep's name?"

Subaru:
"You don't???"

Just then, Subaru's phone buzzed with an incoming call. The name on the screen read: Akagi Suzu.

He raised an eyebrow at the timing before picking up and putting the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

#Oy Natsuki, I’m at your house right now. The teacher told me to give you some notes for your missing classes.#

"Then you're gonna have to come there every day, because I’m not sure I can make it to school anymore," Subaru replied, his tone relaxed like it was no big deal.

#Why? You’re not becoming a NEET, are you? Because that is super pathetic.#

"Nope. I got Isekai’d. Plain and simple."

#You and Teru really need to stop your jokes. If you’re sick, just say it.#

"I’m serious. Did you not see my tweet?"

#Why would I see your tweet? I didn’t even know you had one.#

Subaru let out a loud, fake gasp. He wasn’t really surprised though. While he got along well with most of the boys in class—and even some outside his class—his connection with the girls was... kind of lacking.

#Oh, never mind, your mom is here.#

"Kenichi! What are you still doing on the TV? We gotta get to the station!" A middle aged woman shouted from the hallway.

"Subaru said 6 P.M., it's barely 5! He’s probably not even awake yet!" Kenichi called back, lounging on the couch with the remote in hand.

"It takes 30 minutes to get to the station, and we’ll have to wait another 30 minutes once we’re there—if we’re lucky! Come on!"

"What kind of dystopian bureaucracy are we living in where it takes half an hour just to report a missing person!?"

The Natsuki household quickly descended into a shouting match. Subaru’s mom tried to drag her husband out the door while Kenichi just wanted a few more minutes of peace before dealing with paperwork and questioning at the station.

Finally, Naoko managed to drag her husband off the couch and over to the front door. She swung it open—only to find a girl, around Subaru’s age, standing right outside.

"Never mind, your mom is here," the girl said into her phone before ending the call.

She looked up at them with a polite smile and gave a small bow.
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Natsuki."
(Yes, I know, it was 5 p.m., but this is Japan. People say konnichiwa no matter the time. Weird, I know.)

"Good afternoon, dear. Sorry, but we were just about to head out. Is there something you need?" Naoko asked.

The girl shook her head and started rummaging through her bag.

"Nothing, ma’am. I just came to drop off Subaru’s class notes since he’s been absent for two days."

She paused for a moment, then looked up.
"What happened to him anyway? I called him just now, and he kept messing around like it was some kind of a joke."

Naoko and Kenichi exchanged glances, trying to decide how much to say.

"You called him... and he answered?" Kenichi asked the girl, trying to confirm his suspicion.

"Yeah," the girl replied.

"So he is awake." Naoko gave Kenichi a light slap on the shoulder. His excuse for not rushing to the station—because their son might still be asleep—was completely shattered with that simple confirmation.

The girl, meanwhile, had no idea what just happened. She simply stood there, waiting for one of them to take the notes so she could leave.

"Oh, sorry dear, let me just take that note from you," Naoko said, finally noticing the girl's confused stare and reaching for the book. "But um... I don’t think Subaru can go to school anymore. We’ll talk to the teacher about it later, but we’re kind of in a hurry right now. Sorry for making you come all the way here, we really appreciate it."

Suzu just nodded, said nothing, and left the Natsuki household with more questions than she was willing to ask.

The forbidden library is as quiet as ever. Beatrice sits in the middle of it, reading a random book she pulled from one of the shelves.

This is how she’s spent her time for the past four hundred years. Every so often, she picks up a book she’s already read and starts it again—just to keep the contents fresh in her memory.

There are thousands of books in this library. Reading them all would take a few years if done non-stop, or a few decades at a more relaxed pace.

But what is time to an immortal spirit like Beatrice? There’s no need to rush. So instead, she just reads at a normal pace—whenever boredom kicks in.

But someone wasn’t going to let that peaceful routine continue any longer.

"Beako!"

The door to the forbidden library burst open, and in strode a very rude boy who looked like he had just kicked it down—while pointing some glowing rectangular device at her.

"Quick! I need you to prove magic is real or my parents might get arrested!" he blurted, panic all over his face.

The little blonde girl just stared at him, one eyebrow slowly rising, silently wondering where this boy found the audacity to walk in and start making demands.

"That sounds like your problem in fact, not Betty’s. Why should Betty bother, I suppose?"

"Because you’ll be the best girl if you do?"

"Betty has no idea what that means, but Betty is already the best, in fact," she said plainly, as if declaring the color of the sky.

"Alright, screw it, I'll just do this!" the boy said, slamming the library door shut behind him.

A few minutes of silence passed. Then, the door burst open again.

"And now she is here!" the boy announced triumphantly to the glowing device in his hands, turning it so it faced the shelves and walls of her library like he was showing off an exhibit.

"How do you keep finding Betty’s library like that? It’s supposed to be random every time!" Betty asked, still baffled at how this boy was bypassing what should have been a perfect hiding spot.

"Because we are connected," Subaru said jokingly to the little librarian lady before turning his attention back to the glowing device. "Anyway! How is that? Magic, right?"

#While that is a nice trick, it’s still not outside the realm of possibility. We need more proof for your claim.#

"What more proof do you need?!" Subaru’s voice rose in frustration as he glared at the phone. "I just showed you a teleporting room!"

#I've seen Zach King do that#

"Damn you, Zach King!"

Subaru grit his teeth, racking his brain for another way to prove his Isekai situation to the police.

"Alright, alright—what about healing magic? Seeing actual open wounds close in real time should be enough proof, right?" he suggested.

#Absolutely not! You are not cutting yourself open just to prove a point!# The voice was sharper and noticeably higher-pitched this time.

"It's fine, Mom! It's not like I'll be in pain for long," he tried to reason, though she clearly wasn’t convinced. Not that she could physically stop him from here.

"So! Betty, can you help me show the incredible use of magic to my world so I can prove I got Isekai’d?" Subaru turned to the little librarian again, layering his voice with forced charm.

"No." The answer came swift, flat, and utterly dismissive.

Subaru slumped in defeat. "That so, huh? My bad, I guess. I shouldn’t have asked you to do something so complicated," he said in a mocking voice, though Betty could hear the insult buried under the faux apology.

"But I guess that’s why Tappei created Rem! Thanks for nothing, little lady!" he called, slipping out and slamming the door before Betty could physically eject him for that last remark.

Subaru now stood in front of a closed door in a random hallway of Roswaal's mansion.

"Now then," he muttered to himself, "where is that blue oni?"

"Rem is here."

"Waah!"

Without warning, the blue-haired maid appeared from behind him, making Subaru jump and nearly drop his phone.

"When did you get here?!" he yelped.

"Since you started running around the mansion while everyone else was sleeping," Rem answered flatly. Her face was calm—cold, even—but there was a faint thread of curiosity in her tone.

"When you say it like that..." Subaru suddenly realized how suspicious he must look.

He also noticed the signature ball and chains on her hand.

"Rem Rem?"

"Yes, Subaru?"

"Why do you have that?" He pointed at the spiked ball.

"Self-defense," she replied without a flicker of hesitation.

"..." Subaru’s eyes narrowed. He wasn’t buying it.

"It’s for self-defense," she repeated, just as straight-faced as before.

"...Alright, cool." Subaru decided to ignore the implications entirely. "Anyway, can you help me prove magic is real? My world’s a little skeptical about this whole thing."

Since Betty had been a total dead end, he figured the blue-haired maid might be more cooperative.

Rem said nothing at first—just stared at him for what felt like an eternity—before finally answering.

"Sure," she said. "How may Rem help?"

Subaru jumped at the opportunity. "You know healing magic, right?"

"Rem does," she nodded. "But she is not proficient in it."

"That’s fine! As long as you can heal a small wound, that should be plenty."

Without warning, Subaru threw his arms up and yelled like he was the only one in the mansion. "To the kitchen!"

Rem blinked. "Why are we going to the kitchen?"

"For a knife!"

The proving of magic ended exactly as expected—Subaru showed off his wound closing in seconds, leaving them with little choice but to admit it was real.

…Or deny it and claim it was all just CGI.

Of course, it wasn’t that easy. The police decided to dig deeper, tracing his IP address. They found it—only for it to show Subaru sitting inside his own house.

Naturally, they planned to investigate in person to confirm the reading. For now, though, they just told Subaru to keep them posted at all times and let him go.

"Victory!" Subaru cheered, which is why he was now outside in the mansion’s garden, doing his usual morning radio calisthenics.

"V-victory!" Emilia joined in, trying to copy his strange arm swings.

"Victory! Victory!" And Puck, floating nearby, happily mimicked them both.

The three of them had just finished Subaru’s weird exercise routine—something they decided to join in on after spotting him doing strange movements alone in the garden.

Today, for some reason, was everyone’s break day. Emilia was taking a rest from her studies, the maids were taking it easy, and Subaru… well, he simply had no chores lined up for the morning.

It was his magic lesson day, so Roswaal had decided to let him have the morning off. Even when he only officially started working yesterday.

"Already lazing around on your second day. As expected of Barusu," came Ram’s voice, sharp and amused, as she strolled over.

"You call morning exercise lazing around? Then you must be the most diligent person in the world, in your book," Subaru shot back with a mocking clap, refusing to let her jab go unanswered.

"Stop it, you two," Emilia scolded, though her voice lacked any real authority—more playful than strict. "Why can’t you just get along?"

"Don’t worry, Emilia-tan, this is just how we show our affection," Subaru explained, grinning. While it might look like they were constantly at each other’s throats, their exchanges were more playful teasing than genuine insults. "Isn’t that right, Nee-sama?!"

"Ram would rather gut herself than feel affection for you, Barusu," she replied without missing a beat.

"Hmm. Mm. Very tsundere. As expected of Ram," Subaru muttered with a knowing nod. Which was met with an annoyed 'Tch' by Ram but he ignored her.

"Anyway—magic!" Subaru shouted, practically vibrating with excitement. "Can’t believe I’m actually learning magic! This is some rule-breaking stuff! My entire understanding of how the world works is about to shatter in the next few hours, and I can’t wait to watch it happen!" He pumped a fist in the air, even adding a little hop to emphasize just how hyped he was.

#Don’t forget—be careful. We don’t want you breaking your gate like in the story.#

The sudden mechanical voice caught Subaru off guard. He turned to his side to see the blue-haired maid standing there. For some reason, literally the entire population of the mansion had shown up to witness this historic moment—everyone except Roswaal and Beako, of course. The latter still hated him. Tsunderely.

Rem was holding Subaru’s phone, its camera pointed at him. On the screen, his parents’ faces stared back from their home, both watching him intently.

"I know! Damn, how many times do I have to tell you guys—I know what I’m doing here!" Subaru said with mock annoyance.

#You say that, but the story says otherwise,# his mom clapped back without missing a beat.

"That’s just because Puck is a bad teacher."

"Excuse me?!"

Puck, hearing the sudden accusation, puffed up in visible offense.

"Yeaaah, that’s right! You heard me, you cat-mousy hybrid!" Subaru jabbed a finger at him. "In the story, you’re the one responsible for teaching me magic firsthand, and I end up blowing my own gate just for casting a single Shamak!"

He wasn’t backing down, staring the little mouse-cat spirit dead in the eyes.

"Isn’t that just because you are a bad student? I taught Emilia how to use magic all by myself, and she never blew her gate. Blaming your teacher for your own incompetence is bad behavior, y’know?" Puck shot back, tail twitching smugly.

"You taught Emilia Spirit Arts, not spellcasting. Two totally different things!" Subaru countered immediately. "One uses your own gate to channel magic, the other uses mana from the atmosphere."

He leaned forward with a mock-serious expression. "In fact, we should all be glad you didn’t teach her how to use her own gate. Because guess what player? She’s got a bigger gate than all of us combined—maybe even more than Roswaal! Imagine what a blown-up gate like that would look like!"

Emilia blinked in surprise. "I do?"

"Oh, right—you wouldn’t know that until Arc 4," Subaru said casually, as if dropping spoilers in everyday conversation was perfectly normal. "Anyway, yes. You do. But don’t take any lessons on this from your stepdad—his track record is awful."

He turned to point accusingly at Puck, finger steady, voice brimming with mock outrage.

"Acha!"

An ice cube smacked him square in the forehead before he could say more, courtesy of the offended flying cat spirit.

The two of them took their scuffle to the garden, rolling around in the grass as Puck assumed a much larger form so they could properly wrestle.

#I don’t know where he got that attitude from, but he’s gotten ruder ever since he was brought to your world,# Subaru’s mother complained through the phone. Only the girls heard her—the boys were far too busy trying to pin each other down.

"Barusu not being rude? Ram can hardly believe that," Ram remarked dryly, glancing at the screen.

#Oh yes, he used to be so sweet when he was a kid. There was this one time he came home with dirt all over him because he’d spent the entire afternoon looking for four-leaf clovers to give to me—just because someone told him they bring good luck,# his mother recalled fondly.

The girls listened, but Rem in particular hung on every word.

The more she learned about Subaru, the less likely it seemed he could be a Witch Cultist.

I mean… what kind of Witch Cultist still called his mother like this?

Unless his mother was also a Witch Cultist. But even that seemed far less likely than Subaru himself being one.

"He sounds like a good kid," Emilia commented warmly at Naoko’s story.

#He is the best. We honestly can’t ask for a better son. And when your world’s story came on TV, we were shocked at first… but after seeing what that Subaru went through, we decided to make sure our Subaru would never have to experience the same thing.#

The girls listened closely. Once again, they were reminded that their own world had already been told somewhere else—played out as a story for another world to watch.

But something in Naoko’s words caught Emilia’s attention. Her eyes softened, and she tilted her head slightly.

"The story Subaru… what was he like?" she asked gently.

#Mmm, that’s an interesting question. Let’s see… He is impulsive, he thinks himself worse than everybody else, and in turn he tries too hard to prove his worth.

And also, he loves you so much it’s honestly kind of weird,# Naoko explained to Emilia, who blinked in surprise at that last part.

"Me?" she repeated, as if the very idea was absurd.

#Oh yes. It was partly because you’re kind and nice… and also because of how you look. He loves silver-haired girls, you see.#

If Subaru had been there to hear it, he would have cut the call immediately in a fit of embarrassed protest. But alas, he was not—so Naoko could say whatever she pleased.

"My hair?" Emilia said again, almost in denial.

#Yes. I know people in your world see you as some kind of monster because of the Witch of Envy’s appearance. But to us, you look like an ordinary cute girl. We don’t have that same animosity towards the Witch.#

"She destroyed half the world," Rem interjected matter-of-factly, as if that should settle things.

# Your world, not ours. And again, to us your world is just a story—so she’s more like your typical villain or demon lord. But that doesn’t change the fact that both Emilia and her would be considered pretty cute by our standards.#

Emilia didn’t quite know what to say to that—caught somewhere between flattered, bewildered, and slightly uncomfortable.

"She is the leader of a genocidal organisation," Rem insisted again, trying to hammer home that no matter how pretty she looked, the Witch of Envy was still evil.

#Allegedly,# Naoko replied with a light shrug in her tone, clearly not buying into the same intensity. #But anyway, Subaru told me not to spoil you girls too much—something about a butterfly effect—so why don’t we talk about something lighter?#

The shift in topic was seamless enough, and soon the atmosphere relaxed again. The girls drifted into casual conversation—chatting about how food was made in another world, the kinds of ingredients they had, the strange and unfamiliar dishes from Naoko’s home. From there, it flowed naturally into talk of farming methods, tools, and even how seasons worked where she lived.

Y’know—normal, harmless stuff.

Time passed, and finally another figure stepped into the garden.

"I’m so sorry for being late, the paperwork today was a lot," the newcomer said. It was none other than the lady of the house herself—Roswaal L. Mathers.

Subaru and Puck immediately paused their wrestling match, both turning to look at her.

"Roswaal?" Subaru called out. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh my~ am I not allowed to be in my own garden~?" she replied with a sly smile, her singsong voice carrying that usual teasing lilt.

The moment her golden eyes landed on Subaru, she began her habitual barrage of playful jabs—but Subaru, already seasoned against her antics, simply rolled his shoulders and let it slide.

"Well, you can do what you want, I guess," Subaru said with a shrug. "But anyway, Beako sure is late. I thought I was supposed to have my magic lessons today, not next week." He tossed the comment out like a playful jab toward the absent spirit—thankfully, one she wasn’t around to hear.

"Oh~? And why would she be the one giving you lessons?" Roswaal tilted her head, curiosity dripping from her tone and a teasing smile playing at her lips.

"Because I have yin affinity? And she’s the Great Spirit of Yin? Kind of obvious when you think about it," Subaru replied as if it were the most self-evident fact in the world.

Roswaal, on the other hand, smirked at him. "Well, that might be true, but as you said, she is a Great Spirit. Her way of casting magic is different from that of a human. As such, it makes much more sense for your teacher to be a human like yourself."

Subaru’s eyes widened as the implication sank in. There was only one other human in this mansion besides him and… oh no.

"That’s right, Subaru-kun~" Roswaal’s grin stretched wider, her voice dipping into an exaggerated sing-song. "Your soon-to-be beloved sensei… is meeeeee~"

If it had been yesterday, Subaru might have panicked, thrown up his hands, and loudly declared his protest.

Today, though? He only cringed, shoulders slumping in quiet resignation, and muttered something under his breath about “fate being a cruel mistress.”

The washroom—normally filled only with the steady slosh of water and the occasional sigh—was unusually lively today. Humming, whistles, and the rhythmic splashing of soapy water gave the place an almost festival-like air.

The source of this sudden cheer was none other than Natsuki Subaru. Compared to yesterday’s sluggish pace, he was a whirlwind now, moving with practiced precision and an almost suspicious amount of energy.

"You seem happy, Barusu," Ram observed dryly, folding her own neatly washed towels. Her pile was far smaller than the mountain Subaru was working through, but he made it look effortless.

"Happy? More like supercharged!" Subaru declared, practically beaming. "This flow method is amazing! I feel like I just drank ten cups of coffee—without the side effects!"

To prove his point, he doubled his efforts, scrubbing and rinsing the sheets so quickly it almost looked like a competition no one else had agreed to join.

"Don't move too rough, the sheets are delicate. They might tear if you do," Rem warned, glancing over at him with a hint of concern.

"Aye aye, Captain!" Subaru shot back, still riding that wave of boundless energy as he returned to scrubbing with gusto.

The flow method—a technique used by this world’s soldiers—was designed to grant an almost absurd boost in physical performance by circulating mana from one’s gate through the entire body.

In the original story, Subaru never really mastered it for two simple reasons: first, his gate was damaged. Second, even if it wasn’t, his gate was so small the boost would have been barely noticeable.

But what Subaru learned in this morning’s magic lesson with Roswaal was… shocking.

His gate wasn’t small at all.

It was average.

Yes—perfectly, wonderfully average. Which, compared to his canon self, was a massive improvement.

That little revelation had his mind spinning. What else could he do now? With a gate this size—and one that wasn’t broken—more advanced magic suddenly felt like it might be within reach. Maybe even without relying on anyone else.

Roswaal had taught him the flow method for a reason: to strengthen his gate. Average or not, it had been lying dormant for the first seventeen years of his life, so instead of throwing him straight into spellcasting, she told him to focus on circulating mana through his body and see how it went from there.

"Hmm... but if I still can’t use my own gate to cast magic, maybe I should learn some spirit arts like Emilia."

In this world, spirit arts offered an alternative to conventional magic—and came with two main approaches.

The first was to draw on the mana in the atmosphere, sometimes with the help of nearby lesser spirits. This way, there was no strain on the caster’s own gate at all.

The second was to form a contract with a spirit. The spirit could then use the mana from your gate to cast spells, or filter that mana for you so you could cast it yourself.

For someone like Subaru, whose gate was still rusty from years of disuse, spirit arts were a far safer option than the usual method of pouring raw mana directly into a spell.

But that was a problem for future Subaru to figure out. Present Subaru had chores to finish—and way too much energy to burn while doing them.

“We’re making what now?” Subaru asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“Puddings,” Rem replied matter-of-factly as she arranged the ingredients on the counter. “Your mother gave us the recipe, and since we already have everything we need, Roswaal-sama thought it would be nice to try a delicacy from another world.”

Subaru joined her at the counter, following her instructions without protest. Rem still kept that measured distance, her tone polite but cool, yet she didn’t push him away. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

"And then–stab! I saved the day by killing the bossgram with the broken sword from the villager," Subaru told the story of arc 2 to the mansion’s residents, and Roswaal even clapped for him. Of course, he left out certain parts—like anything about RBD.

They were having lunch now, and unlike yesterday, even the staff was enjoying the meal alongside Emilia and Roswaal. Beako was there too, eating despite not needing to.

"Betty can hardly believe you would have the guts to break your own gate and do all that, I suppose," said the little spirit loli.

"You can believe what you want, but the script said what it said. I am a goddamn hero," the boy smugly replied, earning a scoff from her.

"Or at least until Roswaal came back and burned the remaining Wolgram to the ground, making the curse in my body practically useless since there was no one left to activate it." The noble lady beamed at that.

"So you can say I saved your life then~? My~ I wonder what kind of reward I should ask for doing that~?" she teased.

"Yeah, no. You’re not getting anything from it. This is your territory—it’s your duty to keep it safe." Subaru shut her down before the conversation could go too far off the rails.

"Fair enough" Roswaal accepted that logic.

"And this will all happen on your fourth day, so… two days from now?" Emilia chimed in, asking the important question.

"Yup! Day after tomorrow. Rem and I should go to the village to check for that little assassin girl and her bossgram in disguise, and we should keep her alive if possible," Subaru answered.

"PervBaru."

The insult came fast, followed by several pairs of stinky eyes aimed at him.

"What? Why am I a pervert?" he asked, turning to the pink-haired maid.

"You want to keep a little girl in our basement. What more does Ram have to say?" she elaborated, making him blink in shock.

"Wow, wow, wow—who said anything about the basement?"

"Ah, so you want to keep her in your room. You’re an even bigger beast than Ram thought."

"That is so not what I meant!" Subaru groaned, throwing his hands up in exasperation. Across the table, Roswaal was already chuckling into her meal, Emilia looked more confused than anything, and Ram was being as smug as ever.

The rest of lunch carried on with that same mix of teasing and suspicion hanging over him like an unwelcome cloud. Though it seems like almost everyone already let go of those suspicion.

Except for one person.

Chapter Text

The forbidden library is as quiet as ever. Beatrice sits in the middle of it, reading a random book she pulled from one of the shelves.

This is how she’s spent her time for the past four hundred years. Every so often, she picks up a book she’s already read and starts it again— Didn’t I say it’s not going to happen anymore?!

"Beako!"

The door to the forbidden library was kicked open. Once again.

"Argh!" But she didn’t go along with his antics this time and just sent him flying out.

"Beako!" But he is back again.

"Be—" And again.

"A—" And again.

"Ko—" And again.

Why is he so determined to disturb her, in fact?!

"Beako!" He’s back again, and this time she threw her book at him.

"Enough!" she yelled, her high-pitched voice ringing with pure annoyance. "What do you want, in fact?!"

"Teach me Spirit arts!" the boy demanded out of nowhere. Was his plan just to keep pestering her until she gave up?

"No! How many times does Betty have to tell you, I suppose?! Who are you to demand anything from Betty, in fact?!" she shot back, bristling.

"I knew you’d say that! That’s why I’ve come to bargain!" Subaru fished something out of his pocket and proudly revealed his strange metia.

"You’re going to give that thing to Betty, I suppose?" she guessed.

"Fuck no," he shot back without hesitation. "If you agree to teach me Spirit arts, I’ll give you limited access to the internet on my phone for as long as I’m in your lessons."

He smirked. "How about that? Not a bad proposition, don’t you think?"

"And why is that not a bad proposition? What is this internet stuff, anyway?" Betty asked, skepticism dripping from every word.

"Internet is basically a place for everyone in my world to put every form of information into one giant platform," Subaru began, already slipping into salesman mode. "Imagine a library—no, a giant library—with billions of books written by literally everyone in the world. And it’s not just written stuff—there’s audio, visuals, moving pictures."

He leaned in like he was revealing a state secret. "You can watch everything and anything from my world. All of that knowledge, all that entertainment, right at your fingertips… for the low low price of teaching me Spirit arts."

Subaru grinned, confident in his pitch. "I’ll ask again—not a bad proposition, don’t you think?"

From the way Betty’s fingers twitched against her book, he could tell she was actually considering it, I suppose.

But there was something she had to clarify first.

"What do you mean 'limited' access to it? You’re going to keep something from Betty, in fact?" she asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"Well… I doubt you’d enjoy watching humans fucking each other, so…" Subaru trailed off awkwardly.

"What?!" Betty’s eyes went wide, her whole face flushing in shock.

"Hey, I did say everything and anything. Some people are nasty, so of course stuff like that exists." Subaru raised his hands in defense. "Also… there’s this rule on the internet called Rule 34. If something exists, there’s a porn of it. And since your world is a story in my world, and you’re a character—which means you exist—then…"

"Disgusting, in fact!" she snapped, cheeks still burning from a mix of embarrassment and sheer disgust.

Subaru only laughed at her, clutching his stomach with one hand and covering his eyes with the other, unable to stop at the sight of her flushed, furious face.

"What kind of perverted stuff are you trying to give Betty, I suppose?!" she kept complaining, cheeks burning bright red.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Subaru managed to reply between chuckles. "It’s not all perverted stuff y'know? I admit—yeah, there’s a lot. But there’s also math, science, quantum physics… all sorts of important stuff in here."

"What in the world is a quantum physics?" Betty finally asked after she’d calmed down enough to speak without shouting.

Subaru’s grin widened. "You don’t even know that, do you? This is exactly why I think we should do this deal. I learn more about this world, you learn more about mine."

He leaned forward, phone in hand like a magician about to reveal a trick. "So! How about it? Do we have a deal?"

Betty weighed her options, mind tugged in two directions. On one hand, gaining the complete sum of another world’s knowledge in exchange for a simple Spirit Arts lesson sounded like an absurdly good deal.

On the other hand… Betty valued her library’s peace and quiet, and having this noisy boy as a student would almost certainly shatter that.

But… more knowledge. Mother would like that, she supposed.

"Fine," Betty finally relented with a sigh. "Betty will teach the rude boy Spirit Arts, I suppose."

"Yosha!" Subaru jumped up, punching the air in triumph. "Sensei-Loli acquired!"

"Betty doesn’t know what that means," she said flatly, "but Betty feels offended by it, in fact."

"And that’s how I managed to bring my little sensei here to have dinner with us," Subaru concluded proudly, gesturing toward the small blonde seated beside him.

"Call Betty little one more time and you can forget the whole sensei thing, I suppose." Her tone was sweet, but her eyes carried the weight of a death sentence.

"You’re learning Spirit Arts too? That’s great!" Emilia’s face lit up, ever ready to cheer on someone’s ambitions.

"Emilia-tan came in clutch with her positivity!" Subaru grinned, pointing at her like she’d just scored a goal. "Let’s see if Ram can bring the mood down?"

"You are ridiculous, Barusu." Ram didn’t even look up from her plate, the insult sliding off her tongue with professional ease.

"Aaand there it is." Subaru’s grin only widened,

The reason Subaru was acting like a showman announcer was simple—his mom was watching the dinner.

She called right as everyone was sitting down and insisted on keeping the call going so she could see for themselves that her son was alive, well, and definitely eating enough.

Being the good boy that he was, Subaru kept the call running and let her watch through video chat. With Roswaal’s permission, of course—wouldn’t want to be rude to the host.

"So yeah, that’s basically what happened for the rest of the day. What about you, Mom? Anything interesting happening?" Subaru asked, glancing at the phone propped against a glass of water.

#Not nearly as interesting as learning magic, I bet,# his mom teased. #But I did go to your school yesterday to inform them about your sudden transfer situation. They asked a lot of questions and even demanded proof, so I had to go back to the police to get a written statement from them. So, that’s that.#

"That sounds exhausting," Subaru said with a sympathetic wince.

#It surely is,# his mom replied.

"School?" Emilia tilted her head, the unfamiliar word catching her attention.

"Oh, right," Subaru said as the realization hit him. "You guys don’t have schools here. God, this world sucks." He smirked like he’d just discovered another reason his world was superior.

#Subaru!# His mom’s voice cracked through the call like a whip. #Don’t be rude!#

Ram, watching from across the table, decided then and there she might actually get along with his mother.

"Fine~ I’m sorry," Subaru replied in the least convincing tone possible. "Anyway, school is a place where children study and learn stuff until they become adults. Then, when they’re adults, they can go to another school called college. It’s basically the same thing, except at the end they hand you a certificate so you can get a job."

"Your world needs a certificate to have a job? And you have the audacity to mock ours?" Ram shot back, her voice dripping with pure sass.

"Technically, no," Subaru countered immediately. "You need a certificate for important jobs. Being a store clerk or a maid doesn’t require one. Professionally, sure—but on a not-so-professional standard? Nah."

"What about butlers? Do butlers need a certificate?" Ram asked, eyes narrowing in faux curiosity.

"Technically… yes? Because only some crazy rich people hire butlers, so yeah, they want quality," Subaru admitted.

"And do you have this certificate?" Ram pressed on, her tone now clearly leading somewhere.

"No?" Subaru said, starting to suspect the trap.

"Then Ram must regretfully inform you that you are not professionally qualified. You are fired, Barusu."

Now he definitely knew where this was going. "Hang on, You’re not the boss of me."

"But Ram is a more senior maid, and senior maids can fire butlers."

"Since when?!"

"Since now."

The two slipped right back into their traditional back-and-forth. It was only his second day in the mansion, and already people were beginning to tire of their antics.

Everyone except Emilia and Subaru’s mom, that is—they were quietly giggling at what was clearly a childish display of affection disguised as bickering.

Roswaal just sat there with that ever-present, unsettling smile, saying nothing.

Rem also said nothing… mostly because she had absolutely no idea what she could add to that.

"Anyway!" Subaru declared, throwing his arms out like he was making an announcement. "Despite what Nee-sama might say, I think we should implement the school system in this world too. How many children even know how to read and write here? Not that many, I assume."

"Said the man who doesn’t know how to read or write," Ram shot back without missing a beat.

"Shush!" Subaru hissed, shooing her away with one hand like she was a cat trying to steal his food.

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Roswaal finally spoke, her sing-song tone unusually approving. "The more educated people there are, the further we would progress as a species."

"But…" she tilted her head, the opal-like earrings swaying, "how would we implement such a system? I imagine such an institution would not come cheap, mm?"

Subaru squinted like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. "Are you serious? We have the future king of Lugunica sitting right here!" He pointed at Emilia with theatrical flair..

"Oh?" Roswaal’s painted smile curved even wider. "You sound very confident. Has the end result of the royal selection already been… revealed in the story of your world?"

That question hit the table like a dropped plate. In an instant, every pair of eyes turned to Subaru.

"Well… no, but it might as well have," Subaru replied, his casual tone only feeding everyone’s curiosity. All eyes stayed on him, waiting for whatever reasoning he was about to pull out.

"Anastasia’s a foreigner—and not even from a noble family—so she’s already behind there," he began, ticking the points off on his fingers.

"Sure, she’s got an army and a giant merchant network at her back," Subaru continued, "but she’s also running on a broken gate. She’s not going to last much longer, soooo… I’m pretty sure the council would rather have someone who can actually stay alive for the next few decades."

"She’s going to die?!" Emilia exclaimed, eyes wide with alarm.

"In the next few decades, yeah. I don’t actually know when, but I’m pretty sure she will," Subaru replied matter-of-factly.

"Only Barusu could use someone’s sickness against them," Ram said dryly, slipping in another jab without missing a beat.

"Hey, I’m not the one making the rules here. I’m just stating the facts," Subaru said, throwing up his hands in mock surrender under her accusation.

"Priscilla is also a foreigner, even with her noble lineage," Subaru went on, ticking off the next candidate. "She’s strong—very strong. Honestly, she should be one of the top contenders and Emilia’s biggest rival. BUT! I’m pretty sure she dies in the future. I don’t know how, though—I haven’t read that far."

"She died?!" Emilia gasped, shocked again.

"Is the Royal Selection supposed to be this dangerous?" Rem finally found something to say.

"This Royal Selection? No," Subaru said with a shrug. "But I’m not so sure about the other one." Subaru recalled what people have said about Volachia's battleroyale situation.

"The other one?" Rem tilted her head.

"As I said, I’m not sure. Haven’t read that far," Subaru repeated.

"Next one—Crusch. Her fate is sealed," Subaru declared, moving on to the next royal candidate. "There are three other versions of this story where I take different paths, and in every single one of them, she dies. Why? Hubris. The only reason she’s still alive in the main story is because I saved her. Without me? She’s dead. That’s a fact."

"You? Saved her? Ram can’t believe it," Ram said flatly.

"I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—I don’t care what you believe. The script says what it says. It’s either going to happen, or it’s not. Only time will tell."

"Oh yes, how could Ram forget?" Ram replied with mock realization. "Your ‘script’ is so wildly inaccurate, it can’t even figure out Roswaal-sama’s gender."

"And I still have nightmares about it," Subaru muttered, slumping back into his chair—earning a small, amused giggle from the lady in question.

"And the last secret candidate," he continued, "is actually the only one who still has a chance of beating Emilia… and that’s only because she has Reinhard."

"But Emilia has me, so that should cancel out," he added with smug confidence.

"You think you’re on the same level as the Sword Saint?" Ram stared at him in pure disbelief. "That’s a new level of arrogance… even for you, Barusu."

"Wait," Emilia cut in before the two could start bickering again. "I have you? What do you mean? You… want to be part of my camp?" she asked, her voice laced with doubt.

Subaru blinked at her, looking genuinely confused. "How is that even a question? Of course I am." He spoke like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Even… with my appearance?" she pressed, searching his expression for any hesitation.

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "Haven’t I told you that I don’t care? Wait—no, I never did, huh? Okay then." He cleared his throat.

"Ehem. Emilia. Just Emilia. On behalf of every single man on Earth with working eyes, I am here to tell you that you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen." Subaru said in the most matter of fact tone possible.

It didn’t sound like flirting. It didn’t even sound like flattery. It was spoken with such certainty and conviction that it came across as nothing less than an indisputable fact.

Emilia’s cheeks tinted pink at his words, her lips parting slightly in surprise.

"You are beautiful. You are gorgeous. If you came to Earth, you’d win Miss Universe every single year—and it wouldn’t even be close." Subaru didn’t slow down, his voice brimming with certainty.

"Your hair is perfect. You smell like vanilla ice cream. You’ve got all the right shapes and proportions, and I have to actively stop myself from hugging you every single time I see you!"

Her blush deepened, but she tried to keep her expression composed.

His eyes narrowed in mock outrage. "Honestly! the people in this world are just blind! I don’t care what the Witch of Envy did—if she looks like you, that just means she’s hot too! Being evil and being ugly are two completely different things! Why can’t they see that?!"

"This is not even flattery. This is objective. Facts. Anyone who doesn’t agree with me is just blind." Subaru crossed his arms and slumped back into his chair, finishing his tirade with an insult aimed at the entire world.

From the phone on the table, his mother’s soft giggling could be heard. She clearly found the whole thing far too entertaining.

#I think she got the point, Subaru,# she said, her voice tinged with amusement as she cast a knowing smirk toward the half-elf.

Emilia, for her part, now looked like she was attempting to cosplay as an apple. Her face was a deep crimson, and her wide, trembling eyes darted everywhere but Subaru’s, desperate to find a safe escape from the embarrassment.

Subaru looked at the state she was in and thought, ...I kinda wanna tease her again. She was so cute like this, it was only natural to push a little. Cute things deserved to be teased—right?

"I don’t know, Mom," he said with a smirk. "I don’t think she did get the point. Why don’t we ask her?" The not-so-pure intentions creeping into his grin were impossible to miss.

"So! Emilia-tan," he leaned forward, eyes locked on her, "have I finally cast some light into that doubtful heart of yours?"

"Y-yes. You have. Thank you for your support," Emilia replied, trying her best to maintain the regal composure of a would-be queen… but the bright flush on her cheeks betrayed her.

"Really? Then why don’t you say it?" Subaru pressed.

"W-what?" Emilia blinked in surprise.

"Say it. Say that you’re cute." His smirk widened. "Out of everyone in this room, the person I want to convince the most is you. So say it—say how cute you are!" The audacity to demand something like this from a future queen was downright insane.

"I… am… cute?" Emilia ventured timidly, as if testing the words for the first time.

"You’re asking me or yourself?! Say it like you mean it!" Subaru shot back instantly.

"I… I am cute!" she tried again, her cheeks burning crimson.

"ONE MORE TIME!"

"I AM CUTE!" Emilia finally declared her own cuteness to the world, voice ringing through the room. Whether it was a victory for her confidence or just pure peer pressure, only the gods knew—but Subaru looked like he had just achieved a very important goal.

The rest of the table watched in warm silence. Seeing someone push past their own limits—no matter how small—was always a satisfying sight.

Clap clap.

But apparently, it wasn’t enough for Subaru, who started clapping just to push her embarrassment further.

Clap clap. Roswaal joined in, her painted smile looking entirely too pleased with the chaos.

Clap clap clap clap. Subaru’s mom followed suit, grinning like this was the best entertainment she’d had all week.

And soon enough, the entire table was applauding Emilia’s bold (and very much coerced) declaration.

The girl herself had given up resisting, burying her burning face into her palms. "Stoooop!" she whined, voice dripping with pure embarrassment.

That was a nice dinner, Subaru mused, a little smile tugging at his lips as he sat on the edge of his bed. The memory of Emilia’s face turning red—Redmilia, as he proudly dubbed it—was enough to make him chuckle to himself.

"Alright, time for the nightly lessons," he muttered, hopping off the bed with renewed energy. He pulled out his chair, shuffled his papers and ink around the desk, and set up the little mountain of notes he had painstakingly scribbled down the night before.

"Honestly, this is so bothersome," he grumbled under his breath, flipping through a page covered in looping symbols. "If you’re gonna copy our spoken language, why not just copy the writing too? Would’ve saved me hours of this."

His eyes lingered on the I-glyph script sprawled across the page. It was neat enough, but each letter still felt like it was mocking him with how needlessly complicated it looked. I wonder if I could just make an app to translate this… he thought idly, rubbing his chin.

Knock, knock, knock.

Subaru blinked, startled out of his thoughts. Right on cue.

The door creaked open, and in stepped Rem, a stack of her own tidy notes in hand, ready to begin another round of his nightly language lessons.

"Yo, Rem! Welcome to my humble abode and yada yada yada—let’s do this lesson thing!" Subaru threw his arms open wide, grinning like he’d just downed ten cups of coffee.

Rem tilted her head, her calm eyes studying him with quiet patience. "...Is the flow method still affecting your mood, Subaru?"

"You betcha! I don’t even know if I can sleep tonight. I feel like I’ve got enough juice to run laps around the mansion until sunrise! Woohoo!" He spun in place with his arms raised, the boundless energy practically radiating off him.

"Please keep it down," Rem said, her voice even and polite, though her gaze sharpened with subtle warning. "People are trying to sleep." She set her own neat stack of notes on the desk, arranging them with practiced efficiency.

"So? Back to I-gylphs again?" Subaru asked, already dreading the answer.

"Considering that you still haven’t memorized all of them… yes." Rem’s tone was calm, almost merciless in its simplicity.

Subaru groaned dramatically and slumped over the desk. "Alright, cool. Back to pre-school material we go," he muttered before picking up his notes. His pen scratched against the paper as he repeated last night’s drills, lips moving soundlessly as he tried to hammer the odd letters into his head.

Time slipped by quietly, the only sound in the room being Subaru’s scribbles and muttered repetition. Rem stood beside him the whole time, hands folded neatly in front of her apron, watching in silence.

Finally, Subaru glanced up at her. "You know… if you’ve got something to say, you can just say it."

"Rem has nothing to say," she replied evenly, her face betraying nothing.

"Really? Not even, ‘Die, Witch Cultist! Raaaagh!’?" He threw his arms up with exaggerated fury, voice cracking like some kind of B-movie villain.

Rem blinked once. Then twice. Then said nothing at all.

"...Right. Bad joke. My bad," Subaru sighed, scratching the back of his head with a crooked grin.

Rem continued staring at him in silence. Subaru could feel her eyes on him, but he kept scratching at his notes, pretending not to notice.

Then, out of nowhere—

“Subaru,” she spoke.

“Mm?” The boy turned his attention to her, still as playful as ever.

And then she bowed.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa—what’s this? What’s happening?” Subaru quickly leaned back, hands half-raised, not knowing what to do.

“Rem would like to apologize, for her wrongful assumption towards you, Subaru,” she said, her voice calm and steady. Her head remained lowered in a deep ninety-degree bow.

“Whaaat? What assumption? I don’t remember you accusing me of anything.” Subaru tried to play it cool and act like he didn’t understand.

“You don’t have to keep that act. Rem knows that you know about her ability to smell your… scent,” Rem finally said.

Subaru froze for a moment, then a crooked smile spread across his face.

“Oh thank God. I thought I’d have to keep tiptoeing around you the whole time I’m here. But hey, it’s not like I’ve been subtle about it anyway.” He tried once again to lighten the mood, tossing out his words with practiced ease.

“Rem still doesn’t know why you carry the scent of a witch cultist,” she admitted, her tone even but her gaze sharp. “But these past few days, you have shown that you are not affiliated with them. And if you are…” she paused, her eyes softening just slightly, “…then Rem must confess that she has been fooled.”

Her voice carried no hostility—only honesty. Even so, the truth of her words pressed heavily between them.

Because no matter what trust had bloomed, the scent still lingered. Faint. Clinging. Teasing. Like a shadow that refused to fade. A memory that would not be forgotten.

Subaru spoke again, his tone calm and surprisingly warm.

“I can actually tell you why I have this scent. Well, not the whole story, but enough that it might give you some closure. Want me to explain?” he asked gently.

Rem stayed quiet for a moment, weighing his words, before she gave a small, steady nod.

“Alright, so…” Subaru leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers lightly on the desk. “Remember when I said that the Archbishops of the Witch Cult have powers so strange they can’t even be classified as magic?”

Rem nodded once, recalling the conversation from yesterday.

“Good. So, the thing is, this special power isn’t actually exclusive to the Witch Cult.” His voice carried a strange mix of seriousness and ease, as if he’d given this explanation many times before.

“This power is called an Authority. Some say it’s the antithesis of divine protection, while others argue it’s the opposite—that Authorities came first, and divine protections are just… weaker imitation of them.” Subaru’s words flowed with practiced rhythm, the way he often did whenever he got into explaining things about this world.

“In the past—about four hundred years ago—this power was held by the Seven Witches of Sin,” Subaru continued, his voice steady. “They’re all dead now. Only one of them still remains, sealed away.”

Rem’s eyes narrowed slightly. “The Witch of Envy.”

“That’s right,” Subaru nodded. “She’s the one who holds the Authority of Envy. As for how many Authorities exist in total… no one really knows. We do know of at least nine, but some are still shrouded in mystery.”

He leaned forward, counting off on his fingers as he spoke. “Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Sloth, and Wrath—those are all in the hands of the Witch Cult’s Archbishops. The Witch of Vainglory hold the Authority of Vainglory. Pride belonged to Stride Volachia, but after his death, where that Authority went is anyone’s guess.”

Rem’s lips parted slightly as she followed along. “…That makes eight. What about the last one?”

“Do you have them?” Rem asked, her tone careful as if trying to untangle a knot.

“Nope!” Subaru answered without hesitation. “It’s actually someone you know. His name’s Clind, and he works at the Miload Manor—I think? Yeah, he’s the current holder of the Authority of Melancholy. Allegedly.”

Rem’s eyes widened at the revelation. “Clind? From the Miload manor? What do you mean allegedly? Has that never been confirmed?” The questions tumbled out of her in a rush.

“Yup, Clind from Miload manor,” Subaru replied casually, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell. “And it probably is already confirmed, but I haven’t read that far into the story yet, so I don’t really know. Want me to check the internet to see if it’s confirmed or not?”

Rem hesitated only for a heartbeat before nodding almost instantly.

Subaru did a quick search on his phone: “Is the Authority of Melancholy in the hand of Clind?” He tapped search, and the result popped up almost instantly.

“Yup, it says right here that he has it,” Subaru read aloud, skimming the article. “Oh, he keeps it in a box—kinda like Petelgeuse before he went berserk.”

“Petelgeuse?” Rem repeated, recognizing the name from their talk yesterday. She was making sure to burn every archbishop’s name into her memory.

“Yup, the same guy who later became the Archbishop of Sloth,” Subaru confirmed. “He used to be a decent person, but he was forced to take the Authority of Sloth from its box.”

His expression dimmed slightly, though his words stayed steady. “The thing about Authorities is—they’re insanely powerful. Too powerful. If you’re not compatible with one, you risk losing your mind, just like Petelgeuse did. A shame what happened to him. But he’s evil now, so don’t hold back just because of that.”

Rem was still processing his words, her expression unreadable, but she gave a small nod nonetheless.

“Now,” Subaru leaned back with a playful grin, “why am I explaining all of this? It’s because that witch cult smell comes from Authorities, and from how much they’ve been abused. Not every member has one—maybe they just get so soaked in their Archbishop’s scent that they start reeking the same way.”

His tone softened, though the grin lingered. “But me? I smell like them because I actually do have an Authority.”

Rem’s eyes widened slightly. It was the twist she had suspected from his explanation, but hearing him admit it out loud was another matter entirely.

“What kind of Authority do I have?” Subaru shrugged, hands spread as if even he found the truth ridiculous. “I don’t know. Nobody does. People theorize all sorts of things, but there’s never been any confirmation about what mine really is.”

“Can’t you just check the Enternet like before?” Rem suggested, remembering how easily he had pulled answers out of that strange device.

“Internet,” Subaru corrected with a small smile. “And no, it’s not some magical, all-knowing thing. It just stores the knowledge people from my world are willing to share. If no one knows something, then it’s not going to be there either.”

“Now, what does my Authority do? I can’t tell you,” Subaru admitted, leaning back with a helpless shrug. “Not because I don’t want to, but because I literally, physically can’t. There’s some kind of taboo tied to this thing that stops me from telling anyone what it actually does.”

He gave a crooked grin. “Roswaal knows, though. But I wouldn’t recommend asking her—she’s creepy and totally untrustworthy.”

At last, Rem had her answer. The reason he carried that dreadful scent wasn’t because he was one of them. It wasn’t even because he lingered around their kind. No—Subaru smelled like the cult because he bore the same kind of power they did.

“Thank you for sharing this with Rem,” she said softly, her tone carrying both gratitude and a hint of relief.

Subaru answered with an easy smile. “Not a problem.”

With that, he turned back to his notes, the energy in the room settling into something calm and steady.

End of Chapter

Chapter Text

Living with crazy people is a hassle. Something Ram had never thought could actually happen to her.

Landslide? Unlikely. She didn’t live in the mountains.
Tsunami? Even less likely—basically a myth at this point.
Living with a loud, alien lunatic from another world who couldn’t stay quiet for a single minute? If that ever happened, someone might as well shoot Ram in the head.

“Weeeeeeeeee!!”

And sadly… this was Ram’s reality.

The aforementioned crazy person was currently flying. In the air.

Flying—something countless professional mages had spent years trying and failing to achieve. And yet this idiot, who had only learned about magic yesterday, somehow managed to figure it out.

Only one person in the entire kingdom was known to possess that ability: Roswaal L. Mathers, the greatest wizard Lugunica had ever seen. And yet… somehow, this boy was now soaring through the sky like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Ram doesn’t get it,” Ram muttered flatly. “How? Why? Why would the universe give this lunatic the ability to fly?”

“Flying is simply a matter of force and weight, I suppose,” Beatrice answered, her tiny hand is holding a small rectangular device that is currently showing some moving pictures. “Either you generate enough force to lift yourself, or you reduce your weight until even the slightest push can carry you upward, in fact.”

She gave a little huff before continuing her lecture. “Coincidentally, there exists a basic Yin spell called Murak—it reduces the user’s weight. When combined with a touch of simple force manipulation…”

Ram’s eyes narrowed. “Force manipulation?”

“Every type of magic uses its own form of force manipulation, in fact. Regardless of affinity, you can still ‘shoot’ your spell outward. That’s manipuliation. The boy simply figured out how to shoot himself instead of his magic.”

The Great Spirit of Yin—protector of the Forbidden Library, fountain of knowledge, master of the arcane—sighed, looking more annoyed than impressed. “And now, here we are, I suppose.”

“How? Roswaal-sama said he shouldn’t even be able to cast magic without damaging his gate,” Ram pressed again, her voice carrying that rare edge of actual curiosity.

Is he just reckless enough to ignore the consequences? she wondered. The more she thought about it, the more it sounded like the most likely answer.

“He is not, in fact,” Beatrice corrected, her tiny hand gesturing toward the boy soaring above them.

Ram squinted, and then she saw it—faint motes of light drifting around him as he moved through the air.

Spirit arts. The art of not doing your own magic.

Either by using the mana in the atmosphere instead of your own gate, or letting small, barely sentient creatures cast your magic for you. It is truly the height of slothful casting.

And the boy was very talented in that department—much to the world’s misfortune

He just finds some spirit that knows Murak and—boom. He flies. Like Pokémon, or whatever he called it.

“But there is still one problem, in fact,” Beatrice-sama spoke again, without raising her face from the screen.

Ram raised an eyebrow—right before she suddenly heard the boy scream in the distance.

“AAAHHH!! LANDING! LANDING! LANDIIIIIIIIIII!!”

Boom! The unmistakable sound of a solid object colliding with the ground at high speed rang out.

Fortunately, his weight was still reduced, so he wasn’t completely dead from that landing. The spirits help him too from the looks of it.

“Sigh… Now Betty has to fix him up, I suppose.” The girl finally set the phone down on the table and stood up from her seat.

Ram just stood there, watching.

Finally, something good happened today.

Living with Subaru is nice. Having someone helping Rem and Nee-sama with our chores is very nice.

And because of his training with Roswaal-sama, he now has the stamina to do his work more efficiently, lessening our daily chores even more.

“Here are the tatoes, Rem. Freshly peeled and cut!” he said, handing them over with a grin.

“Not bad—for an unlicensed butler,” Nee-sama complimented his effort. How nice of her.

“Shush, you,” Subaru said, Subaru is shy. Rem understands that.

At first, Rem thought he was a witch cultist. That disgusting smell still clings to him, but after last night’s confirmation—and Rem’s own careful observation—it is very unlikely that he is one of them.

He is too forward. Never once has he tried to hide anything from us, unless it was something absolutely necessary. Like the name of the Witch of Vainglory, since it supposedly carries a curse, and his own authority, which he is not allowed to speak of.

Authority. A power so unimaginable it surpasses even the limits of magic. The thought of such a power being wielded by those disgusting cultists makes Rem’s skin crawl.

Why? Why would such a power choose them as its wielders? Rem had asked him that very question last night.

“Nobody knows,” he told her. “But I think the most likely answer is that the Witch of Vainglory gave it to them. At least we do know that the Greed Archbishop was given his authority by her.”

That explanation made sense, but it also felt underhanded. Nine unimaginable powers—enough to make someone like Subaru believe he stood in the same realm as the Sword Saint—and the Witch of Vainglory kept five of them for her own nefarious purposes. Seven, if Rem counted the Witch of Envy and that witch herself.

That is not fair. They have seven of them, while we only have the Sword Saint and Subaru on our side. No wonder no one has been able to defeat them.

True, none of them are said to be as strong as the Sword Saint himself, but still—having so many powerful beings roaming the world, spreading misery wherever they go—is so… disgusting.

Imagine, though… imagine a world where such powers were wielded by good people. Seven more Sword Saints. Seven more Subarus. That would be paradise, if Rem thinks so herself.

Wait a second… something caught Rem’s attention.

Seven, including the witches. Pride is still unknown, and Melancholy rests with Clind. But Subaru also has one.

So… it’s ten, isn’t it? Then why would Subaru say there are only nine known Authorities? Is he simply not counting his own?

Rem decided she would just ask him about it later.

Anyway, while he could not tell Rem what his Authority truly was, she still had some guesses.

"It's not something physical, and I can't really use it to kill or even hurt anyone. In a fight it's practically useless," he explained, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. "But! I do believe mine is the strongest one—because with this, I can’t lose. It’s impossible for me to lose, even against the Sword Saint."

And he hadn’t been exaggerating. He said it plainly, like it was an undeniable truth. He cannot lose. Not against anyone. Not even the Sword Saint.

Such a power, fortunately, had been granted to someone like him. Rem shuddered to think what might have happened if it had fallen into the wrong hands.

"But of course, that alone isn’t enough," he continued. "Sure, I can’t lose against Reinhard, but I can’t win either. So just that isn’t what makes me think I’m in his league."

He leaned back, his eyes carrying that strange mix of pride and unease. "What really convinces me that I’m Reinhard’s opposite… is that I’m the only person alive who can handle more than one Authority without losing my mind."

Rem froze at those words.

He explained it so simply, yet the weight behind it made her chest tighten. Authority was not a power meant for humans. It was too overwhelming, too absolute.

Most people would be driven insane just by receiving it—and those who didn’t, sooner or later, would be twisted and corrupted by it, no matter how righteous they once were.

And yet Subaru claimed he could bear more than one.

"How many can you have?" Rem asked quietly.

"In the story?" Subaru pulled out his phone, scrolling through it with ease. "Three so far. But I haven’t shown any signs of going mad or anything, so… my theory is all of them. I can have them all."

All of them?!

Rem’s heart skipped a beat. No wonder he dared to put himself in the same realm as the Sword Saint! Anyone would, if they knew they could wield all nine Authorities without being consumed by madness.

That’s insane! No wonder he’s so confident! Anyone would be, if they could do what he can.

To have the strongest Authority, and the ability to wield all of them without falling into madness… if he were a Witch Cultist, we would all already be dead. Rem should thank Od that he is not.

"But you know," Subaru continued, his tone dropping into something more serious, "it’s not that easy. Even if I can hold them, that doesn’t mean I have them. I need to take them from the people who currently wield them. And to do that, I either need to kill them… or be there when they die."

Rem froze at the bluntness of his words.

"Wait a second," Subaru tilted his head, as if an idea had just clicked. "If Clind has Melancholy sealed in a box, can I just… ask for it? Maybe. I’ll ask Roswaal later. It’s safer with me than letting anyone else risk going mad trying to use it anyway."

And that was where last night’s conversation ended. Rem needed time to gather her thoughts, to steady her mind after all those shocking revelations before she could ask him anything more.

But one thing was clear.

Subaru-kun was not a Witch Cultist. He was their predator—the only person with the ability to end them once and for all. Taking their power from their wretched hands.

That boy is crazy, in fact.

“Beako!” He keeps finding Betty’s library like it was some common place anyone could stroll into.

He treats everyone like an old friend he has known for years. And in a way, he does. Apparently, our world is nothing more than a story in his, and we are all just characters inside that story. That is why he acts so familiar with us.

The one time his knowledge was proven wrong was when he met Roswaal. He panicked, kept calling her a clown, even though she looks nothing like one, I suppose.

When Betty asked, he simply showed her a picture of a very tall, eccentric man with a face painted completely white and lines drawn around his eyes. “That’s Roswaal,” he said. “That’s what I was expecting. Not whatever that lady is.”

So the story is inconsistent, I suppose. When Betty asked to see this story for herself, he showed her a black screen.

"What?" he said. "What do you mean nothing? It's right there." He kept insisting that the story was on his Metia, but nothing was there. Just a black screen with nothing on it, in fact.

"Okay, so no one can see the story because of… magic, I assume," he theorized. And that seemed to be the case, as he asked the blue maid to look as well, and she also said there was nothing on it, I suppose.

Although, I suppose he could just be lying and pretending it was magic that stopped us from seeing it.

He is the one who controls the Metia after all, since no one— not even Betty— understands the language of it, much less how to operate it properly.

"This makes no sense. I can show the character inside of the story but not the story itself? What's the rule?" he complained to whoever was listening, like they had anything to do with it, I suppose.

So it seems no one but him can see the story from his Metia. But he can still tell us about it, and that intrigues Betty a little bit, I suppose.

If he knows about Betty from that story… then does he also know about her contract? Or better yet, does he know about that person?

Naturally, Betty asked about it, and his face suddenly turned pale, in fact.

He looked in pain, like he was trying to decide something that would change his life forever. At last, he let out a breath and answered, I suppose.

"I… don’t think this is my place to tell you. I’m sorry, Betty, but I really, really don’t want to break this news to you," he said.

He even called Betty by her proper name for the first time, instead of that annoying nickname of his.

…So he does know, in fact. And from the look of him, nothing good is going to come from that subject in the future, I suppose.

"Can you at least tell Betty this, in fact?" she asked again, even though she already knew what his answer would be. "Will Betty ever be free from this contract, I suppose?"

Betty knew. Betty was desperate. It had been so long—so unbearably long—and not once had there been news, or words, or even the faintest sign from the book Mother left her, I suppose. Deep down, Betty already knew that person was never going to come, in fact.

So Betty asked. And she expected him to react as before—to flinch, to shudder, to show her that same pained face—before finally speaking of the miserable future she was destined to endure, I suppose.

But instead… he smiles.

"Yeah," he said. His smile wasn’t triumphant—it was heavy, tinged with sorrow, like someone watching a loved one finally return after a war they never should’ve fought.

"After everything you’ve been through—the loneliness, the sadness, the betrayal, all of it… at the end of your story, there is a good ending. One that I promise I’ll bring you to, no matter what happens." He said it with that same infuriating smile, in fact.

…Betty should stop thinking about this, in fact.

End of chapter

Chapter Text

Living with Subaru is… weird.

"Emilia-tan!" He calls me that. Nobody else does, and I can’t help but wonder—what does that -tan even mean?

"Huh? The -tan? Hmm… that’s just what my story counterpart called you. Like a nickname! And the story-you didn’t seem to hate it, so I thought—why not call you that too? You know, to deepen our bond."

Deepen our bond. That’s the first time anyone has ever said something like that to me.

Puck is like my overprotective father. I know he means well, but sometimes that can be a little troublesome.

Roswaal is my sponsor for the throne. Aside from teaching me a few things—manners, politics, the history of the kingdom—our relationship is strictly professional.

Rem and Ram… they treat me like a guest.

They answer when I speak, they’re polite, they help when I ask. But it feels like professional courtesy more than anything else. Like a store clerk with a customer—we both smile, we both act friendly, but at the end of the day, I doubt we’d truly know each other.

They know my name, though. At least. “Emilia-sama.” That’s what they call me, and that’s about the only respect I’ve ever received from anyone besides Puck.

But still… none of them have ever tried to deepen our bonds. To come closer. To be friends.

“Demon!” “Half-devil!” That’s what they used to call me. What they still call me. What I’ll always be called.

All because of this unsightly face.

“You are the most beautiful person in the world!”

Except… Subaru. He says it differently. Unlike Puck, who says it only to comfort me, Subaru says it like it’s undeniable fact.

Like it’s the truth. Like everyone else is wrong, and only he is right. As if everything I’ve ever been told was nothing more than the nonsense of foolish people.

A man who looks at the blue sky and insists it’s orange. That’s who he is.

And sometimes… I catch myself believing what he says.

"Here is your tea and cookie, Emilia-sama." Subaru calls me that sometimes too. But when he does, there’s nothing professional about it—no distance, no formality. He says it only to tease me.

"Thank you, sir butler. I am thoroughly pleased."

And before I know it, I’m playing along with him. Smiling. Teasing back.

Why am I doing that?

He chuckled at our little play before his eyes wandered over my shoulder, curiosity flickering across his face.

"Studying hard, eh? What a good king candidate you are." He said it while eyeing the stack of books on my desk.

"But you know," he went on, crossing his arms as if to give weight to his words, "I heard just reading isn’t enough to memorize things properly. The best way is to explain it to someone else." He nodded to himself, satisfied.

Then, without hesitation, he pulled out a chair and sat beside me. "So! Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been studying all morning?" His voice carried genuine curiosity—not politeness, not empty encouragement, but the intent to listen.

And that’s what makes him so strange. Unlike everyone else, who only wishes me luck, offers encouragement, or tries to comfort me, he actually sits down and tries to help.

Even when I don’t need it… just to make things a little easier than they would be alone.

And… he is surprisingly resourceful.

"The first problem in a world with backwater technology like this is always food. But honestly, the fact that this world has so few people living in it means you won’t need as much."

Few?

"How many people live in your world?" I asked.

"In total? I don’t know… like, seven billion?"

Billions?!

"In my country alone there are at least 120 million people. This world feels small, but I doubt the entire thing is smaller than Japan."

120 MILLION PEOPLE IN A SINGLE COUNTRY?!

That’s insane! How could they even feed all of them?! Not to mention the infrastructure—where would they even live?!

"Oh, you see. Instead of one house for one family, we built apartments so a lot of people can live in the same building. That way, you reduce the space you need while still living comfortably.

Of course, normal houses exist too, but they’re packed tightly next to each other and are pretty expensive—especially in today’s economy.

Good thing my family already owned our houses since the Taishō Era."

The Taishō Era… another strange piece from his world.

"As for food, I’ve gotta admit, there were a lot of times in my world where civilization collapsed because of shortages.

See, we make food by farming, right? But if you keep planting in the same soil over and over, the crops get weaker, until eventually nothing grows at all.

That was a huge problem for us, and if your world hasn’t figured it out yet… you might suffer the same fate."

I’ve heard about that before. Farmers talk about it sometimes. I never thought it could be so serious.

"The reason it happens is because the ground runs out of nitrogen. It took us a long time to figure that out, but once we did? Boom—our population exploded. People started making babies like crazy once food was no longer such a worry."

Wow… so there were no more starving people in his world? What an amazing—

"Of course there are."

Huh? But he said—

"The food is no longer the problem. The distance is."

Distance?

"No matter how good we are at farming, we can’t grow crops in places that are basically dead. So instead, we grow food in fertile regions. And yeah, the yield is enough to feed the entire world… but getting that food to everyone is the real issue.

Shipping it costs more money than actually growing it. So unless people can afford to pay for the food, they won’t get it—no matter how much we have."

That’s… terrible.

"Yeah. I heard that in my country alone, we throw away more food every single day than we actually eat.

And then there’s class disparity—if you’re poor, you still can’t buy it. Doesn’t matter how much is wasted, you’re left hungry all the same."

So in another world, class disparity still exists. The poor starve while the rich waste. No matter how much food you have, it won’t change a thing.

But—

What about the demi-humans in his world? I asked him, wondering if they at least had it better than here.

"Oh, we don’t have any."

What?

"There are no demi-humans. No magic, no dragons, no mana crystals, no spirits. Nothing like the stuff you have here." He said it so casually, like it was nothing more than a passing detail.

But the idea of a world filled with billions of people, all belonging to only one race… it was honestly mind-boggling.

"So!" He suddenly stood up from his chair. "Sorry to cut this short, I would like to keep talking to you about the current economical state of the world but! I’ve already spent too much time here, and I don’t think Nee-sama’s gonna be very happy about it. So, adios!"

He waved goodbye with the tray in hand, tossing out another one of his strange words.

Honestly… he’s so weird.

How is living here? Honestly, it’s pretty chill.

The pay is good too. The average servant makes about 20 gold coins a month. I still have no idea how much that actually is, but Rem assured me it’s a lot.

The twins themselves get paid a worker’s salary—32 gold a month. Again, supposedly a lot, according to them.

"What am I even gonna use my salary for anyway? It’s not like I need to pay for food or anything," I asked the nearby maid.

"Rem knows," Rem said. "Rem just keeps saving Rem’s salary all these years and hasn’t actually touched it herself."

Huh, so even they don’t really know what to use their money for.

"Right? Rem must know since Rem’s been here way longer than me. Rem’s savings must already be a whole pile of gold by now."

"Why is Subaru-kun calling Rem ‘Rem’ when Rem is standing right next to Subaru-kun?"

Anyway, weird talking aside, I’d honestly do this work for free. The magic and spirit arts lessons are more than enough of a reward already.

But my parents advised me not to. They said that while I might not need money now, it’s always better to have it than not. So I took the contract from Roswaal’s weirdly feminine hand and signed it.

Yes, I’m going to point that out every single time—because I’m not forgetting that Roswaal is supposed to be a man and yet she is not.

And with that, I was officially a butler.

The work is fine. At first, it was exhausting, but after Roswaal opened my gate and taught me the flow method, everything has been smooth as butter.

My energy is abundant, even if my body is still as weak as ever. Not that I really need strength—most of what I do is just cleaning.

Why would I need to be strong? It’s not like I’m going to end up fighting to the death or anything.

Jokes aside, the people here are nice. At first they were suspicious, but I can tell our resident bulldog is starting to warm up to me. And by that, of course, I mean Rem.

She’s obviously extremely suspicious of me—hard not to be, considering I smell like the very witch cultists who burned down her village.

I’m not saying her killing me, like in the story, would be justified, but I can see why her mind might go there… if I dumb my brain down enough to match that line of thinking.

Still, after I dumped a mountain of exposition and reasoning on her, she finally came to the conclusion that—yup—I’m not a witch cultist.

Which is good, because if she killed me even once, I’d be out of here. Consequences be damned.

“What? You don’t want me here? Aight, good luck staying alive without me.” That’s what I would’ve said if she kept being stubborn.

Nee-Sama is Nee-Sama—lazy, harsh, bossy—but I can’t deny she’s easy on the eyes.

What? I’m not blind. I know beauty when it’s shoved in my face. And let me tell you, those two maids? Adorable. They’re a head shorter than me, their hair looks ridiculously fluffy, and those maid uniforms? Yeah, no way that design is just a “standard issue.”

Either this kingdom’s got some questionable fashion sense, or Roswaal is really determined to keep me here by any means necessary.

And that includes using herself as one of the baits. Why else would she choose a female vessel? It’s obviously to honey trap me into staying.

Bath time is now a period of fear and anxiety, because I keep remembering that scene where Roswaal would suddenly barge in while I was bathing.

Back then it was just a little sus and kinda gay, but now? Now it would be an actual thirst trap, since Roswaal is a woman here.

I slumped in the bath, letting out a long sigh after all that mental gymnastics.

"I don’t even know what I’m so scared about. It’s not like this is that different from normal life." I’ve got a job, I work, and my boss looks like she’s just waiting for the chance to sexually harass me. Pretty standard, honestly.

"Except, you know, the magic and the dying part." Not knowing the future here is terrifying. What if the plot changes? What if it’s nothing like I remember? Am I really supposed to treat some story written by a random guy in my world as gospel to keep me alive?

'In the first place, do I even still have Return by Death? I’ve never died—and I’d like to keep it that way—but without actually kicking the bucket, how am I supposed to know if it’s still there?' I’m not stupid; if possible, I’d like to speedrun this whole thing without a single death. But really? Is that even realistic? Might as well hunt down a unicorn while I’m at it.

'Or, you know, I could try to let Satella tickle my heart by revealing the taboo to someone. But there’s always the chance she’ll go after their heart instead—and what she does is a lot worse than a tickle.' Call me a coward, but do I really want to poke the Witch of Envy just to confirm if I still have my signature ability?

"Oh~? What a pleasant surprise to see you here~"

Aaaaaand she’s finally here!

"I can ret—" The words die in my throat. The world just… stops. The warmth of the bath vanishes, stolen in an instant, leaving nothing but a freezing weight that sinks into my skin.

Something—no, someone—is there. Behind me. Pressing against me. I don’t hear footsteps, I don’t feel breath, just this creeping presence that slides across my back like frost crawling up a window.

Cold. Soft. Almost delicate, like a hand that doesn’t belong to the living. But it doesn’t stop at my skin. It pushes through. My body offers no resistance as it slips inside, each touch scraping against nerves that shouldn’t even exist.

I can feel everything. Every inch of that thing moving, writhing, threading its way through me. It’s slow. Patient. Like it wants me to notice. Like it wants me to squirm.

I love you, she whispers in my ear, voice dripping with sweetness that twists into something sick.

An arm coils around my chest, hugging me tight, while another slides straight into my heart—

"–Ghak!" My chest tightens all at once, squeezing the air out of me. Yeah. The taboo’s still here.

Did I just try to take out Roswaal with the taboo, you might ask? No, not really. But out of everyone in this mansion, she’s the one I’d miss the least—so I figured it’s fine to test it on her.

"Oh no! Are you okay?" she rushed over from the other side of the bath, her face full of concern.

Why does she sound like she cares? Is that supposed to fool me? …Who am I kidding. Of course it is.

She grabbed my cheeks, tilting my head this way and that, checking for injuries. And she actually looked worried.

Combined with her overly voluptuous body and ridiculously beautiful face, I couldn’t stop the heat from rushing to my cheeks. Seriously, who just grabs someone’s face like that—while we’re both naked in the bath no less?

"I’m fine!" I blurted, pushing myself back from her. "Why do you keep doing this?" I muttered, sinking lower, determined to keep my lower half under the water at all costs.

"Why not? Am I not allowed to be concerned about my servant’s well-being?" she asked, leaning in closer, bending down just enough to match my height. I can see her boobs hanging down from her chest very clearly.

Did I ever mention she’s tall? Easily over 180 cm, and definitely taller than me.

Under any other circumstances, I would've welcomed such an advance from a MILF like her. She’s tall, beautiful, elegant, voluptuous, and actually a noble. Basically the perfect MILF that plenty of people would goon over.

But still. She’s a Roswaal. And a Roswaal cannot be trusted.

"Or would you rather I act like a cold, heartless mistress instead, hmm~?" God damn it!

"Stop throwing yourself at me! I know what you’re doing." I stepped back again, trying to dodge her.

"Oh~? And what exactly am I doing?" she teased, still leaning in.

I clenched my teeth and forced my head clear, like I was a monk trying not to think about worldly desire.

"You’re trying to keep me here with rewards. You already know threats won’t work this time, so now you’re tempting me with comfort instead of fear."

Classic conditioning strategy, people.

"Is it working~?" she asked, not even trying to hide it anymore.

"YES! That’s the problem! I know I should be disgusted by what you’ve done for four hundred years, but I can’t help it! Living in a mansion is AWESOME! On top of that, I get free food, a roof over my head, and even MAGIC LESSONS. This is literally the best outcome I could’ve hoped for!"

…Am I a hypocrite? By ignoring everything Roswaal’s done, does that make me just as bad as her?

Four hundred years. From A to L. Eleven people from her own bloodline, stolen and hollowed out just to keep her alive.

It’s basically the same as Zouken Matou. If Roswaal looked like him, would I hate her the same way I hate him? Or am I really so weak that a pretty face is enough to sway me?

She giggled at my declaration of greed, the sound soft and teasing, and kept pressing forward until my back finally met the edge of the bath. The corner of her lips curled as she leaned closer. "Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying my hospitality~" she purred.

"But you know… all of this—my titles, my fame, my wealth—I don’t really care about any of it. And you should already know that." Her words dripped like honey, every syllable deliberate, calculated, dangerous.

She leaned in even more, until her flawless face hovered just centimeters from mine. My breath caught before I even realized.

"Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve built for the past four hundred years… it was all for one goal. Once I have my teacher back, the rest will mean nothing~"

Her breath ghosted across my skin, warm and sweet, each word brushing against my lips like a whispering kiss. I tried—really tried—to clear my head, but with her so close, invading every sense I had, it was impossible to ignore her.

"If that's the price for you to help me, then you shall have it~"

She planted both arms on the edge of the bath behind me, trapping me in place. A Kabedon? This is a Kabedon, right?! Wait—why am I the one being cornered here?!

"All of it, even me~. If that’s what you desire, then I’ll gladly give you whatever you want. As long as I can have my teacher back—breathing, living again—there’s no price I’d ever be too shy to pay."

Her hand slid up to my chin, fingers curling as she tilted my face upward. Her eyes locked onto mine, and she leaned in slowly, deliberately, each second tightening the knot in my chest.

Instead of my lips, her mouth brushed past—hovering just beside my ear. Her breath was warm, tickling my skin as she whispered, low and dangerous, "So long as I get what I want, everything I have will be yours."

A temptress to the very end—her words sank into me before she sealed them with the faintest kiss against my cheek.

"Think about it, okay?" she purred, her lips curling into a knowing smile before she rose gracefully from the water. Droplets clung to her skin as she turned, her silhouette framed in the steam.

And just like that, she left—proving she had no intention of bathing in the first place.

I feel extremely violated.

Chapter Text

The morning light spilled through the window, painting the room in a warm golden glow where our protagonist lay sleeping peacefully.

Until suddenly—

Dog of Flanders blared out from his phone.

His eyes snapped open instantly. In one swift motion he snatched the device off the cabinet and leapt out of bed like a man possessed.

"Today is the day!" he roared with the conviction of a prophet.

“Today is the day?” Rem said, appearing at the door as if she’d just happened to be passing by. (Sure. Of course she was.)

"Today is the day!" he repeated, now slamming his palm against the dining table with so much passion it made the cutlery rattle.

"Today is the day!" Emilia echoed, swept up in the energy without even knowing why, her voice ringing with the same intensity.

“What is today, Barusu?” Ram muttered, clearly irritated at being dragged out of bed earlier than her usual schedule thanks to Subaru’s shouting.

Subaru grinned, puffed out his chest, and pointed dramatically toward the window. “Today! Is the day we fight to the death against a horde of mabeasts!” he proclaimed like a conquering hero.

“...”

Silence.

“...”

Everyone in the mansion just stared at him like he’d lost his mind.

Subaru’s arm slowly dropped. He scratched his cheek and awkwardly sat back down. “...Now that I said it out loud, I am not sure what I am so excited about.”

"Stupid Barusu" Muttered Ram

"Hey!"

“So! That’s the plan!” Subaru declared proudly after laying out what he insisted was his super mega awesome plan.

“So, you and Rem go to the village, track down this Meili girl or whatever, kidnap her because she’s important… and hopefully not get mauled to death by mabeasts,” Ram repeated flatly.

“Yes.” Subaru nodded with absolute confidence.

“Amazing plan, Barusu. You should definitely do that,” Ram replied, her sarcasm so thick it could cut glass.

“See?! I knew you’d come to understand my magnificence one day!” Subaru puffed his chest out like he’d just won a prize.

“I… think she was being sarcastic, Subaru,” Emilia said gently, her voice uncertain but honest.

“Nonsense, Emilia. I’m sure she finally has some good words about me.” Subaru waved her concern away, clearly choosing to deny reality. “Anyway! While Rem and I are busy with that, the rest of you need to be ready. A lot of things could go differently—just like how Roswaal is a girl now.”

“Do you really have to mention that every single day?” Ram deadpanned, having long grown tired of his fixation.

“Yes,” Subaru replied without hesitation. Not even a pause.

“As good a plan as any, I must say,” Roswaal chimed in, raising her teacup with perfect grace. In front of others, she wore the mask of a regal lady—poised, untouchable.

“But I am afraid I must inform you that I will be leaving this afternoon~ There are… certain matters in the capital that require my attention.”

Subaru narrowed his eyes at her, suspicion practically dripping from his stare. “You pulled this exact stunt in the story. So what is it really? Do you actually have business there, or is this just another one of your schemes?”

Roswaal’s lips curved into a faint smile as she placed her cup back onto its saucer, calm and unshaken. “I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She dodged the accusation with all the ease of a master fencer, not even letting him graze her guard.

“Yeah, well, that’s fine,” Subaru shrugged, all nonchalance. “Push comes to shove, we can just throw Beako at them and let her fire off Al Shamak.”

Betty snapped her gaze up from the phone in her tiny hands, eyes narrowing. “What do you think Betty is, I suppose? A Pokémon?”

She was literally watching Pokémon on his phone right now.

“More like an overpowered loli—” Subaru started, earning a dangerous glare. He coughed and hurriedly corrected, “—Anyway! Look, I know we can’t just chuck Al Shamak at every random mid-boss we run into. It's a one-time thing, so it’s better to save it for the final boss fight.”

“It’s a no-time thing,” Betty huffed, clutching the phone to her chest. “Betty isn’t wasting four hundred years of collected mana on something so trivial, in fact.”

“Figured you’d say that.” Subaru sighed, then spun back toward the rest of the mansion dwellers like a game show host. “So! Which one of you has enough magic to wipe out an entire forest full of mabeasts?”

Emilia hesitantly raised her hand.

“We are not freezing the entire forest.”

Her hand went down.

“Great! So, our options are…” Subaru started counting on his fingers. “Option one: don’t get bitten. Ever. Option two: kill the mabeast that bites you before it runs away. Or option three…” He spread his arms dramatically. “…kill every single mabeast that breathes in that forest.”

His voice cracked a little at the end. “This is… not at all impossible or anything.”

“Rem believes in you, Subaru-kun,” came the soft, earnest support of the blue-haired maid.

“Yes, Ram also believes in you, Barusu. You should absolutely march in there and—most importantly—not drag my lovely sister along with you.” Her voice was sweet, but the bite underneath was unmistakable.

“…Okay, that one doesn’t count as supportive.” Subaru frowned.

“And Roschi hasn’t even taught me any offensive spells yet. Nor has Beako.” Subaru let out a long sigh of frustration.

“Your gate still can’t handle a proper spell yet, Subaru-kun~” Roswaal explained with her usual sing-song tone. “You might manage it once or twice, but beyond that, you risk damaging your gate.”

“Why don’t you just ask your spirit if it knows any offensive spells, in fact?” Beatrice chimed in, arms crossed.

Subaru froze. His eyes widened like someone who’d just remembered a bill he forgot to pay.

“…You forgot you even had a spirit, didn’t you?” Beatrice deadpanned.

“Wha? Pfft—no, of course not.” Subaru waved her off and quickly called out, “Come out, Lyra!”

A tiny ball of shimmering mana floated into the air beside him, humming faintly.

Subaru grinned and gently poked it with his finger. The little spirit vibrated happily.

“What about weapons? Anything around here I can actually use?” Subaru asked, glancing up from where he was still poking at Lyra.

“House Mathers has always specialized in magic rather than martial arts,” Roswaal replied smoothly. “So I’m afraid we don’t keep weapons you’d find useful.”

“Really? Not even a sword?” Subaru pressed.

Roswaal simply shook her head.

Subaru slumped back in his chair with a groan. “Great. Guess I’ll just fight barehanded. Totally nothing can go wrong with that idea.”

“I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves.”

The sudden voice came not from anyone in the room, but from Emilia’s glowing necklace. A moment later, a small, floating bipedal cat emerged, stretching as if he’d been listening the whole time.

“What proof do we have she’s even going to appear in the first place?” Puck asked, ears twitching. “You said it yourself, things might go differently.”

He tilted his head, giving Subaru a curious look. “If you go to the village and there’s no beast tamer to be found… then what?”

It was, unfortunately, a very fair question.

“Then we go back home. Lock the doors. And hope nothing comes in,” Subaru answered almost immediately. He’d thought about it. And, truth be told, there wasn’t much else he could do.

Except for dying, of course.

“That’s it? So we just give up if we don’t find her?” Puck pressed, floating lazily in the air.

“What else can we do?” Subaru shot back with a shrug. “We can check the mana crystals around the village to see if someone messed with the barrier, maybe ask around if the villagers noticed anything shady. But other than that…” He let out a breath and slumped into his chair. “…we’re pretty much blind here.”

The rest of the mansion fell into quiet contemplation at Subaru’s words.

“If so… then don’t you think it would be better if more people went to the village?” Emilia suggested carefully. “There are too many possibilities. Maybe I should go, just in case?”

Subaru folded his arms, eyes shut tight in exaggerated thought. “Mmmm… maybe. Maaaybe we should. But then—who’s gonna protect the mansion? Nee-sama? Yeah, right.”

“Screw you too, Barusu,” Ram snapped, clearly offended.

“But I guess we’ve got Beako here.” Subaru tilted his head toward the little girl still glued to his phone. “What do you think, Beako? Can you protect the mansion on your own?”

“Whether Betty can protect the mansion is not something you should doubt, I suppose,” Beatrice shot back, her voice sharp as ever. “But Betty’s duty is only to protect the forbidden library, in fact. Everything else is Roswaal’s job to handle, I suppose.”

Subaru pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, well, problem is Roschi’s going out this afternoon. So can’t you just pick up her slack? Protect the mansion and the library?”

“Tch. And why must Betty do that, in fact? Whatever happens to the mansion has no effect on Betty, I suppose.”

“You’re saying that like you wouldn’t get lonely if we all left,” Subaru quipped. Beatrice puffed her cheeks at him, the perfect picture of a sulky tsundere.

“Anyway!” Subaru spun toward the other spirit. “What about you, Puck? Can you protect the mansion on your own?”

“If Lia goes, then of course I’m going with her,” the little cat said, flicking his tail as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “What kind of spirit abandons his contractor?”

“And also, when will the assassin show up?” Puck asked, tilting his head.

“Around sundown. It was night time when the fight broke out,” Subaru answered.

“See?” Puck swiped the air with his tiny paw. “Even if I stayed, my contract cut me off. I’m strictly a nine-to-five spirit, y’know.”

“Can’t you make an exception? This is literally life or death here. Just stay up until midnight or something!” Subaru’s voice pitched higher with every word, his exasperation mounting at how the strongest people around him were all shrugging off the crisis.

“That’s not how spirit contracts work, in fact,” Beatrice cut in, tone sharp as she slipped into teacher mode. “Once the terms are set, they can’t be ignored. Unless you want to burn through your own od, there’s no way to go against it, I suppose.”

“And one of my conditions,” Puck added with a casual flick of his tail, “is that I clock out at five sharp. Unless Lia calls for me directly, I won’t even be conscious to notice what’s happening.”

“Great! So the two great spirits of Fire and Yin can’t lift a finger. The kingdom’s strongest mage is off doing who-knows-what, and that leaves us with—” Subaru raised his hand and started ticking off on his fingers.

“A very cute half-elf. An Oni with a broken horn. Another Oni with only one horn. And a butler with zero combat training.” He dropped his hand with a flourish.

“Yep. Perfect team. Totally flawless. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this lineup.” The sarcasm dripped so thick it could’ve stained the floor.

“Alright! No use thinking on the what-ifs.” Subaru clapped his hands together like he was sealing the matter shut. “We’ve got until evening, so!” He spun on his heel toward Roswaal and Ram. “What’s it gonna be? You want me back on dish duty, or are you finally gonna teach me some magic so I at least stand a fighting chance?”

The margrave’s painted smile stretched wider, a glint of amusement dancing in her mismatched eyes.

“The reason I’ve been warning you not to touch your gate yet,” Roswaal drawled, leading Subaru out to the mansion’s front yard like she was about to show him a magic trick, “is because you have no idea how to do it safely.”

Subaru stood stiffly, trying to look like a diligent student.

“Imagine a dam filled with water,” Roswaal continued, gesturing with her painted fingers. “That’s your gate. Open it the wrong way, and you don’t just let a trickle through—you might flood the whole valley. Break the dam, break yourself.”

Subaru swallowed. “Great. Love being compared to faulty plumbing.”

“The flow method I taught you yesterday works without touching your gate at all. No such thing as a perfectly sealed gate—some mana always seeps out. What you’ve been doing is circulating that mana through your body. Think of it as a failsafe, so you don’t explode from producing too much.”

She smiled knowingly, mismatched eyes gleaming. “Of course, people with far too much mana can’t rely on that alone. They must release it occasionally—vent the pressure. That’s what’s known as a hatsumaki.”

“Cool, cool,” Subaru muttered, brain scrambling to keep up. “So step one was don’t explode. Step two is… what, learning how to open the dam without drowning myself?”

“Precisely.” Roswaal clapped her hands once, like a teacher pleased with her pupil. “Since you’ve proven you can circulate and therefore control your mana, the next step is to learn how to open your gate properly.”

Subaru nodded along furiously, trying to tattoo the knowledge into his brain before it slipped out.

“Sit down and take off your shirt,” Roswaal instructed, that telltale glint in her eyes flashing like she was way too excited about this part.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa—timeout!” Subaru flailed his arms, backing up a step. “Nobody said anything about this lesson involving nudity.”

Roswaal’s lips curved in amusement, but her tone carried a weight beneath the playfulness. “It’s for your safety. As I said, if you open your gate too far, you could explode from the sudden pressure. In that case, I can stabilize you by pulling the excess mana out before it overwhelms you.”

Her eyes narrowed with a mock-innocent smile. “And for that, skin-to-skin contact is required.”

Subaru squinted at her, suspicion written all over his face. Everything in his gut told him this sounded like a scam. But at the same time… this was Roswaal. And as much as he really didn’t like the idea, he couldn’t risk blowing himself up either.

“…Tch.” He muttered under his breath before peeling off his jacket and tugging his shirt over his head. “If this ends up on some sketchy magic version of OnlyFans, I’m haunting you after I explode.”

With obvious reluctance, he did as told, sitting down in the grass and glaring at his new “teacher.”

Roswaal pressed her palm against his bare back. Her hand was warm, smooth—an odd contrast to the chill of the afternoon air—and the imprint of her touch instantly etched itself into Subaru’s awareness.

“Now,” she said in that sing-song lilt of hers, though the seriousness beneath it was unmistakable. “Try to open your gate… slowly.”

“How?” Subaru shot back, puzzled. “I don’t even know where my gate is.”

“The source,” Roswaal replied, almost like she was reciting a children’s riddle. “Find the source of the mana you’ve been circulating through your body. Track it back to its origin… the place where all that flow begins. That, Subaru, is your gate.”

Her tone was patient but unwavering, as if she had no doubt he’d find it if he really tried.

Subaru shut his eyes and focused, breathing in slow, steady pulls. Once again he guided his mana with the flow method—starting from that familiar warmth in his stomach, then pushing it down into his palm, letting it circulate through his body like a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins.

This time, though, he paid attention. Where exactly was it all coming from?

And then he felt it. A strange presence, tucked deep within. Not a muscle—too still. Not an organ—too responsive. It was something he knew he could move, like flexing a hand he hadn’t realized was clenched shut his whole life.

“…This?” he whispered to himself.

Cautiously, Subaru nudged it, like testing the tension of a new joint. The strange organ shifted, parting ever so slightly under his will.

At once, the flow changed. His mana surged faster, stronger—like a dam had been cracked open just enough to let a torrent slip through. A prickling heat raced across his skin, every nerve tingling as if alive.

He shivered. “Yeah, that… definitely did something.”

“Congratulations. You’ve finally managed to control your own gate,” Roswaal said with a small smile.

“Keep it open just like this. If after a few hours you start feeling an unusual fatigue, close it a little. That way you can figure out how fast your od produces mana.”

Subaru focused on keeping that strange “organ” steady, still not sure if he was doing it right.

“Once you get the feel for it,” Roswaal continued, “you’ll be able to keep your gate open indefinitely, and that will give you more mana for the flow method—without cutting into your own reserves.”

“Right… thanks for that, I guess,” Subaru muttered as he started pulling his shirt back on. “But seriously, what’s a little extra adrenaline gonna do against those mab—Ghok!”

His words were cut off by Roswaal’s knee slamming into his stomach.

“Gh—are you crazy?! That–!” he wheezed, clutching his midsection… only to freeze. “—didn't hurt as much as I thought, What's going on?”

Slowly, he looked up. Roswaal was watching him with a smug grin plastered across her face, clearly pleased with herself.

“Well of course it doesn’t~” she sang, eyes glinting with pride. “That was just a normal kick from a noble lady who’s never worked out a day in her life~ no enhancement on my end at all.”

Her smug grin only grew as Subaru blinked in disbelief.

“That,” she continued, wagging a finger, “is the difference between someone using body enhancement and someone who isn’t. It might not put you on par with knights or seasoned mercenaries, but against an ordinary civilian? The gap is enormous.”

“Great. So now I’m stronger than people who don’t know how to fight. Not seasoned assassins—no, just regular civilians.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “Maybe I should ditch this mansion business and start robbing people instead?”

Roswaal giggled behind her hand, clearly entertained. “I’d advise against that~ You’d be arrested in no time. Besides~ working for me is far more profitable.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Subaru let out a small laugh, the tension easing from his shoulders. Even if it wasn’t much, the knowledge that he was stronger than before gave him a faint, stubborn hope.

And for the first time, a touch of gratitude crept into his heart for the eccentric noble lady who had bothered to teach him.

End of chapter

Chapter Text

“So that’s our plan,” Subaru said into his phone, giving a half-grin at the camera. After the training with Roswaal, he’d managed to push his limits, and chores afterwards had been a breeze with the flow method boosting his body.

Now it was around two in the afternoon. He had a few hours left before he’d be dragged into a life-or-death battle in the village, and he decided to spend his break on something normal for once.

Pulling out his phone, he hit the call button. On the other end, his parents were sitting in a police station, still untangling the mess of his “missing person but not technically missing” status. His situation was… complicated.

#That’s a stupid plan.# The voice came from next to his mom—a police officer who had been handling his case from the start.

“You got a better one? Tell me,” Subaru shot back without missing a beat.

#Call the guards. Leave the premises. You should’ve done that from the start. This isn’t your fight, boy.#

“Easy for you to say. What about the lives of these lovely people?” Subaru gestured toward the others sharing the gazebo during their break—Emilia, smiling softly, and Rem, who nodded along quietly.

And then, of course, there was Ram.

“That one is not so lovely,” Subaru added with a jab in her direction, refusing to let her presence go unmocked.

“Hate you too, Barusu,” Ram snapped back without missing a beat.

#Tell them to leave too. This isn’t their fight. Go call a guard. And what kind of noble doesn’t have private knights for themselves?# the officer pressed.

“That’s… actually a good question,” Subaru admitted, scratching his cheek. “But hey—they’ve got two Onis, two great spirits, and the strongest mage in the kingdom living here. So, you know, not exactly short on manpower.”

#And somehow, that’s never enough in these stories…# his mom muttered under her breath, sounding half exasperated, half resigned.

“It’s fine! Push come to shove, I’ll just use my authority to fix everything,” Subaru said, almost flippant.

Emilia tilted her head, clearly lost. “Authority…?” she repeated softly, confusion in her voice.

Ram frowned. “More of Barusu’s nonsense.”

Rem stayed quiet, her lips pressed together. She already knew what he meant.

Only Puck reacted with sharpness, fur puffing as he emerged from Emilia’s crystal. “You have an authority?” His tone was edged with accusation.

“Yeah? What, I didn’t tell you?” Subaru looked around. No one nodded. “…Oh, right. I only told Rem. My bad. Yeah, I’ve got one.”

“How?” Puck pressed immediately, his little body tense.

Subaru lifted his hands in mock surrender. “I dunno, It just… latched onto me when I got here? How should I know the details?”

Technically, he was not lying. The story never said anything about how he had his Return by Death.

Puck stared at him suspiciously, but after reading his emotions he found no lies in his words and no malicious intent either. So, the spirit let it go.

“I am sorry but, what is an authority?” Emilia asked, unwilling to drop the matter.

“It's a cursed power used by the Witch Cult,” Puck spat, venom dripping from his tone.

Ram’s eyes snapped to Subaru, her glare sharp enough to cut. She didn’t need to say anything—her expression alone demanded an explanation.

“Calling it cursed is a bit much. Power is power, no matter where it came from,” Subaru tried to justify, only to earn a scoff from the cat.

“I called it cursed because anyone who has it will be—or already is—crazy. Even if you aren’t now, you’ll eventually lose your mind from using it,” Puck explained, sounding far too knowledgeable for Subaru’s liking.

“That might be true for anyone else, but I’m built different, so I’ll be fine.” Subaru brushed it off with a grin. After all, he knew the story—he should be fine. Unless he counted the timelines where he wasn’t.

“Wait, hold on. I still don’t get it. Subaru has a power the Witch Cult uses? How?” Emilia pressed again, her brows furrowed.

“The power isn’t exclusive to the Witch Cult,” Rem interjected gently. “They simply hold an unfair monopoly on it—at least, that’s what Subaru-kun told me.”

That earned her a wink and a thumbs-up from Subaru. “That’s right! Again, power is power. Just because they use it doesn’t make it evil. They also use daggers—are daggers evil?” He leaned into the point with a smug grin.

Ram narrowed her eyes, remembering something. “Is this that same unnatural power you mentioned a few days ago, Barusu? The one you said couldn’t be classified as magic?”

“Yup! You catch on quick, eh Ram? But yeah—it’s the same unnatural power from back then,” Subaru admitted, oddly enough sounding like he was actually complimenting her for once. “Anyway, let’s just put this aside and summarize: yes, I have an Authority. Yes, it’s amazing. No, I can’t tell you about it. And yes—I mean can’t, not won’t.”

#Subaru.# His mom’s voice suddenly cut in through the phone, tone sharp enough to slice the air. #Are you talking about that Authority?#

“…Yes?” Subaru answered, cautious now. “What else would I mean?”

#The one that requires you to do that to activate?# she pressed.

Oh. Now he knew exactly where she was going with this.

“Look, Mom, I know. I’m not supposed to abuse it. I know what it’ll do to me, I know it’s bad. But I thought we were past this,” Subaru said, trying to keep his voice steady. “This place is eventually going to force me to use it. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t! But realistically? We both know that’s not possible.”

The Authority was a subject none of them wanted to touch—because of how it was activated.

Yes, it was painful. Yes, he shouldn’t rely on it. But deep down, Subaru knew the truth: sooner or later, he would use it. The only way forward was to make peace with that fact, to accept that it was something he had to endure—whether he wanted to or not.

#I know...# her voice was soft, almost breaking as if she was forcing herself to stay composed. #Just... please, don’t lose yourself to it.# Behind the sadness, there was a trace of fear.

Subaru exhaled slowly, answering with a calmness meant to reassure her.
“I won’t,” he said. “I promise.”

“Haaaah~ what a mess that was.” Subaru let out a long sigh, trudging through the woods with his phone dangling loosely in his hand.

“Rem thinks you handled it better than most, Subaru-kun,” the blue-haired maid said, walking beside him, hyping him up in his downed state.

Rem’s attitude had changed drastically. She used to be a cold, professional maid, and now she was more like a supportive friend—always ready to lift him up when he was down.

“Right? Even then I ended up not talking about the things I wanted to talk about.” He wanted to tell his mom about his relationship with the people in the mansion, about his newly contracted lesser spirits, and about magic—what he could do and what he had learned.

But instead, he had dragged the mood down and made it impossible to talk about any of that.

“Oh well, at least I got permission to announce my situation on the internet,” Subaru muttered. To avoid mass hysteria, he had already decided to tone down his posting compared to his frantic updates on the first day.

Sure, it might not affect him directly, but if news about his isekai situation spread before his parents had a chance to explain things to the police, sketchy media outlets might swarm his house and relentlessly badger his family.

To avoid that, he had gone radio silent for the past few days. But now that the police were officially aware of his circumstances, he could finally speak freely. They would protect his parents from the media.

“But now the question is… should I post a photo or a video?” Subaru wondered aloud.

In this era of information, starting a channel to upload content was as easy as snapping your fingers. Places like TikTok or YouTube dominated the scene, and if he wanted the most people to know about his isekai situation, uploading there was probably his best bet.

“Veedeo?” Rem tilted her head, repeating the strange word. Oh right—someone else was with him.

“It’s like a moving picture. Don’t worry about it.” Subaru waved his hand, brushing off Rem’s curiosity.

But if I post something, what should it be? he thought. ‘Hey, I’m currently walking toward a village where I’m gonna fight to the death.’ Yeah, that sounds way too morbid.

“Ah, screw it.” He raised his phone, snapping a selfie with Rem in the background. The girl blinked at him curiously as the screen froze the two of them mid-walk.

Day 5 in another world. Boutta challenge a puppy to a fight. That was the caption.

He waited a moment, expecting comments to flood in, but the screen stayed silent.

“Oh, right… it’s four in the morning back home.” He sighed, slipping the phone back into his pocket. Besides, it felt rude to be glued to it while walking with a girl.

“Anyway.” Subaru finally turned to the girl he had been ignoring for the past few minutes. “Are you ready, Rem? Feeling nervous?”

The maid shook her head. “No. Rem is sure everything will be fine.”

“And what about Subaru-kun?” she asked back, tilting her head slightly. “Is Subaru-kun nervous about the soon-to-be battle?”

“About the battle? No.” Subaru’s answer came without hesitation. “I’m more worried if there isn’t a battle. Sure, it could mean nothing happens… but it could also mean anything might happen. That’s the part that really bothers me.”

“Is Subaru-kun doubting the story?” Rem asked softly.

“It’s kinda hard not to when things keep changing left and right. Roswaal’s a woman, I have an average gate, I learned magic way earlier, and—oh yeah—I have a phone, for god’s sake.”

He let out a shaky laugh, but it didn’t hide the tension behind his words.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen anymore. The suspense is killing me here.” His thoughts drifted darker. The temptation to just treat this loop like a throwaway crept into his mind. A sacrificial run — doing whatever he wanted, testing every possibility, and if it all went wrong… well. Damn. Reset.

The idea almost felt easier than living with the anxiety pressing down on him.

“It’ll be okay.” The maid’s voice cut through his dark thoughts. “If anything happens, Rem will protect Subaru-kun with Rem’s life.”

Her words made Subaru chuckle. “That’s cute, Rem, but I’m not worried about that. If anything, you should look after yourself and don’t worry about me.”

A wry smile tugged at his lips. “I can’t die after all.”

Children ran through the village square, laughing as they chased each other with wooden sticks, while others wove flower crowns beneath the trees, their carefree voices echoing into the forest beyond. Among them was a teenage-looking boy, darting around with just as much energy.

“Wait up, you brats!” he shouted, drawing another round of hysterical laughter as they pulled him into their game of tag.

“Green liiiight—red light!” one called, freezing the group in place.

“Is it a living thing?” “Yup!”
“Is it cute?” “Yes it is!”
“Oh no, that’s twenty! What is it?”

“It’s Petra-chan!”

Even when the girls grew tired, they switched to quieter guessing games, giggling through each round.

And when excitement sparked again, the boy scooped a few of them up for a brief flying trip through the air—landing gently this time, to everyone’s relief.

All in all, the village hadn’t seen such laughter and happiness in a long while.

“What an energetic young man he is,” one parent remarked, watching the boy dart around with the children.

“Right? Whenever I play with Lucas, I’m the one who ends up exhausted,” another laughed.

“Kids have too much energy for us to keep up,” a mother giggled, spotting her son lying flat on the ground after the games. “But it looks like they finally found their match.”

But this wasn’t all just for fun. While the boy played, his partner was quietly asking around the village, slipping questions in while gathering groceries for the mansion.

“Subaru-kun,” Rem called out, catching the sight of him buried under a pile of laughing children.

“Hmm? What’s up, Rem Rem?” he turned his head as best he could, though one girl was hanging from his neck like a scarf.

Rem noted how hard he’d been working since their arrival—now turned into a makeshift tree, each arm and shoulder carrying a child who refused to let go.

“Have you found the girl you’re looking for?” she asked.

“Nope. Haven’t seen any Meili here,” Maybe because a kid was blocking his eyes.

“Alright! Off you go, kids.” Subaru lowered the little ones clinging to him, earning a chorus of groans at the sudden end of their game.

“But seriously, you kids haven’t seen her either? Small, about Petra’s size, dark blue hair?” he asked, scanning their faces.

“No, We already told you didn’t we?” one of the children answered.

“Who is she, anyway? Is she bad? Are you arresting her?” another piped up.

“Is she your girlfriend?” “Okay! no! We are not starting that rumor this early!” Subaru cut in instantly, shutting it down before it could spread like wildfire.

“Anyway, as you can see, these are the only kids in the village. None of them have seen anyone like her, so maybe she’s not coming?” Subaru said, brushing himself off as he turned to the maid.

“What about the adults? They noticed anything different or suspicious lately?” he pressed.

“Rem have asked everyone in the village, and they haven't seen her either. No suspicious activity, and the barrier is still intact,” the girl replied. Subaru fell into deep thought at her words.

Subaru frowned, sinking into thought at her words.

“So there’s no lead then?” He hated this type of situation—not knowing what to do.

Rem nodded at his question. There was nothing else she could say.

“Subaru-sama.” Suddenly, an old man with a cane came walking toward them, drawing the attention of the two mansion dwellers.

“Oh! Lacrus-san, do you need something?” Subaru greeted the old man with an easy familiarity, despite having only met him a few minutes ago.

“Nothing of the sort, Subaru-sama. We were just wondering if something was going to happen. Some villagers are getting worried because of the… questioning you two have been doing,” the old man said, and a few others followed behind him.

“O-oh, you guys found out about that? We were trying to be discreet about it too. Guess we sucked at it,” Subaru replied awkwardly, scratching his cheek as he tried to ease their worries with a joke.

“But well, we’re not actually sure. It’s just that something happened to Emilia-sama back in the capital, so Roswaal-sama thought we should patrol a bit and check if anything was wrong here in the village.

After asking around—thank you all for being so cooperative, by the way—we’ve confirmed that nothing seems out of order. The barrier’s intact, no suspicious activity, which means we can all relax,” he explained to the crowd. The villagers let out a collective sigh of relief at his words.

"That’s a relief. I’m glad it turned out to be nothing," the old man said.

"Ahaha~ sorry for worrying you all," Subaru replied awkwardly.

The villagers exchanged words of relief among themselves, chatting around the boy.

"I’m glad everything’s fine. I really thought something bad was going to happen," one of them admitted.

"Right? Though if we’re talking about weird things… Ganzt-san’s a bit late for the usual trade," one of the villagers mentioned, and Subaru quickly perked up to ask for more details.

"Oh, Ganzt-san’s the local traveling merchant," another explained. "He comes here once a week. Usually around today—or maybe the day after, if the road’s busy."

"Maybe something happened in the capital?" someone else suggested.

"Could be. I heard they found the fifth candidate a few days ago. Maybe that’s why the road’s packed."

Subaru listened to the villagers gossip, but nothing pointed toward an assassination.

"Well… whatever happens, happens," he muttered, deciding to just let fate run its course.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, Subaru felt a little tug on his shirt. When he looked down, the kids were grinning up at him, waiting.

He let out a small laugh and let them pull him along, their happy voices ringing in his ears.

"No puppy sighted, is this a bad loop?"

Subaru fired off a tweet to update his friends and family, then set his phone down on the table.

“So! Uhhh…” he started, addressing the others gathered around the dining table.

It was already past noon—closer to 7 P.M. by Earth’s clock. They had spent an extra two hours combing through the village just to be absolutely sure.

“Looks like I was wrong,” Subaru admitted with a sigh.

“Shocking,” Ram deadpanned immediately.

“Or rather!” Subaru threw his hands up in protest. “The story was wrong!”

“You should learn to take responsibility for your own mistakes,” Ram replied smoothly.

“But hey, technically this is good news, right? Not getting attacked is way better than getting attacked,” Subaru countered, trying to lighten the mood.

“A shame, really.” Ram cut him down without missing a beat.

“Anyway, Nee-sama aside. Any thoughts? Anyone?” Subaru asked, glancing around the table.

Not that there were many people to glance at. The only one actually sitting across from him was Emilia—Roswaal was still out handling business, and the maid refused to sit, standing dutifully behind her candidate like the chair had personally offended her.

For a table this big, two people eating felt downright awkward.

Oh, and no cat this time. Past 5 P.M. meant Puck had already gone to bed. Unless of course Emilia called for him specifically.

“I’m just glad everything turned out fine,” Emilia said softly. “The thought of a little girl falling into villainy at such a young age is… unsettling.”

“She’s probably still an assassin,” Subaru replied, waving it off. “Just, y’know, maybe she wasn’t sent here. Guess the clown decided not to stir the pot this time.”

“By ‘the clown,’ you mean… Roswaal?” Emilia caught on quickly.

“Have I ever called anyone else a clown?” Subaru shot back, answering her question with a question.

“You’re accusing Roswaal-sama of an assassination attempt that—mind you—never happened?” Ram said, her glare sharp enough to pierce steel.

“Nee-sama,” Subaru said quickly, putting his hand on the table, “he’s the Danzo—or Kenjaku—of this world. If something goes wrong, you blame him.”

“Except she’s not a him in this world,” Ram fired back immediately.

“Why would that matter? She’s still Roswaal L. Mathers,” Subaru said, his frustration barely contained.

“It matters because she’s a completely different person from the Roswaal you describe.

You said he dresses like a clown—she doesn’t.

You said he’s weird—you’re way weirder than her.

You said he’s suspicious and the worst person imaginable—while many would tell you she’s the exact opposite.

Maybe you should stop treating us like characters in a book and start treating us like real people.”

Ram finally let out the frustration she’d been holding in since Subaru arrived. Ever since he got here, he’d been treating them like dolls, not a person.

He spoke to them, but it didn’t feel like he was really talking to anyone—more like he was reading a script and reacting to prewritten lines. He expected them to respond in a certain way and got confused when they didn’t follow the script.

"She is a person. With her own life, thoughts, and feelings. Not just a character in a story," Ram said again, stressing each word.

Subaru blinked, caught off guard by her sudden evaluation. He had never really stopped to think that this might be how he was acting.

"Is that what I've been doing?" he asked, genuine confusion flickering in his eyes.

"You literally accused us of wanting to kill you just because you smell bad," Ram shot back without hesitation.

"Isn't that true, though?" Subaru tilted his head. "Rem can smell the miasma from my authority, and she hates me for it."

"In your story, maybe," Ram replied sharply. "But how can you be so sure it's the same here? What if it’s not? Are you going to blame her for some supposed murder that never even happens—the same way you did Roswaal-sama?"

Subaru listened to her words and really thought about what he had been doing these past few days. And when he did, he realized she was right—he hadn’t been treating them like new people at all, but like characters he had already seen on a screen.

Never meet your heroes, they say. Because the people you admire from a distance might not be anything like the ones you imagined.

And… yeah. What were the chances that these people would be exactly the same as in the story? For that to happen, everything would need to play out exactly as it did in the book—no butterfly effects, no deviations, no changes. But the truth was, things were already different.

These people… they weren’t the same ones he remembered. This Subaru wasn’t the same Subaru. So of course this Ram wasn’t the same Ram, this Rem wasn’t the same Rem, and this Emilia wasn’t the same Emilia.

Subaru leaned back in his chair, eyes drifting up toward the ceiling as the realization sank in. "It took me this long to realize that?" he muttered under his breath.

On his first day here, he knew things might not go exactly the same way. But it had never crossed his mind that even the people might not be the same.

"I guess you’re right, Ram." Subaru chuckled, calling out the pink-haired maid—no longer clinging to the old Nee-Sama he once used from the story.

A faint smile tugged at her lips.

"But I’m still not trusting Roswaal," Subaru added, leaning back in his chair. "She might be different, yeah… but she’s still suspicious as hell."

"That’s for you to decide," Ram replied coolly. "Just don’t think you know us better than we know ourselves simply because you’ve read some books."

After that, the weight in the air seemed to lift. The rest of the dinner went by more lightly—they joked, they teased, they chatted among themselves while the lady of the manor remained absent.

The threat of the assassin was still there, but Subaru no longer treated it like an inevitable fact. Instead, it was just a possibility. Something that might not happen at all.

The night sky stretched wide and endless, dark as velvet and glittering with countless stars. They shone like scattered jewels, each one burning with a quiet, steady light.

Beneath that vast canopy lay a boy on the grass, his eyes fixed on the heavens, a contemplative look on his face.

So much had happened since he was pulled into this world. So much had already changed, leaving him unsure of what he was supposed to do next.

And yet, under this sky, none of it seemed to matter. The stars had a way of making everything else feel so small, so insignificant. The worries weighing on his mind loosened their grip, drifting away as he stared into the ever-expanding abyss of space.

"No matter the world… the stars are always majestic."

He folded his hands behind his head, using them as a makeshift pillow while staring up at the sky. For the first time since his arrival, Natsuki Subaru allowed himself to breathe in peace.

"Can't sleep?"

The soothing voice of a half-elf reached his ears. Subaru tilted his head, and sure enough, Emilia stood there, her silver hair glinting faintly under the starlight.

"Yeah," he admitted with a small chuckle. "I keep feeling like something’s gonna jump out from the corner and kill me."

To his relief, Emilia laughed softly along with him before settling down beside him. She tucked her dress neatly and sat close, her presence warm against the cool night air.

"It must be hard," she said gently, "always expecting an attack but never knowing if it will actually come."

"Yeah," Subaru agreed. "It’s like someone told me, ‘I’m gonna punch you in the face… but I won’t say when.’" His voice carried both humor and frustration.

He let out a sigh, eyes still fixed on the stars. "Sometimes I wonder… if I hadn’t read the story, or if it didn’t exist at all… would my life be easier?"

“I feel that too,” the girl said. Subaru turned his head toward her, waiting for her to continue.

“My face… my hair and eyes. I wonder if I just looked a little different than… this. Would people treat me differently?” Her voice softened as her thoughts spilled out.

“Could I walk into the village and trade for better food? Or even… live there with them? Would they accept me? Could we be friends?” Emilia’s tone wavered, heavy with longing.

“If I wasn’t born a half-elf… would my life be easier?”

Her words carried a quiet ache, tinged with nostalgia. She remembered the cold, silent forest of her past—surrounded only by the frozen statues of elves, her only company the biting wind and Puck’s presence at her side.

She had tended to those statues with care, brushing snow from their faces, keeping them from being buried completely. Each time, she held onto a fragile hope: that one day, they would thaw, and she would no longer be alone.

“But, y’know,” she spoke again, this time in a more hopeful tone than before, “thinking about the past and what could have been is just a fool’s errand. You can keep thinking about it all you want, but nothing will change.”

“So instead, we should look toward the future. Do our best to fix our problems little by little, and hope that eventually… we’ll have our happy ending.” She turned to him with an angelic smile, as if trying not only to convince him, but herself as well.

Subaru kept his eyes on the half-elf and just… admired her for who she was. The usual image of “story Emilia” that once overlapped in his mind shattered, and for the first time he saw her clearly.

Emilia. Just Emilia.
A kind-hearted girl who remained pure even when the world had cursed her existence. A girl who endured everything not with blind innocence, but with the hope that one day, things would get better.

“Pfft.” The sound slipped out at first, a quiet, almost embarrassed chuckle.

But then, like a crack in a dam, the laughter grew louder, freer, shaking loose all the tension he had carried since arriving in this world.

He lay back on the grass, eyes on the sky, laughing not out of mockery or denial—but simply because, for the first time, he felt like he could.

Emilia, on the other hand, was blushing furiously after being laughed at.

“Stop laughing! I’m trying to be serious here!” she huffed, puffing out her cheeks in protest.

“Ahaha~ Sorry, sorry,” Subaru waved his hand, still struggling to calm his laughter. “It’s just… I never thought that Emilia, of all people—would be the one to give me a motivational speech.”

“And why can’t I be the one to give you a motivational speech?” Emilia asked accusingly, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Because…” Subaru scratched his cheek awkwardly. “The Emilia in the story was portrayed as this sheltered wallflower lady—someone just there to look pretty, stop me from running away, and hand out lap pillows when I got too depressed.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Now that I say it out loud… that story really was pretty inaccurate, huh?”

Emilia frowned, clearly offended by the comparison. “That’s exactly why you need to stop treating us like our story counterparts. We’re nothing like them.”

“Right, right,” the boy said. “So what’s the real Emilia supposed to be like? Any particular likes or dislikes?” he asked with a teasing smile.

“Well, if you must know, I like drinking tea with some cookies while enjoying a bright sunny day under a canopy,” she explained her favorite pastime to the boy.

Subaru nodded along, then smirked. “Are you British?”

“Wha’?” she tilted her head in confusion.

“Nothing.” Subaru made a mental note to tell her about England sometime later.

“And dislikes?” he pressed.

“Peppirs. Hate them. And I don’t like spicy food either.”

Subaru nodded once again.

“What about you, Subaru?” It was Emilia’s turn to ask. “You know so much about us, but we know almost nothing about you.”

Subaru raised an eyebrow. “Really?” he asked, and she nodded. “Oh, right. I’ve been too busy talking about you guys to say anything about myself.”

“Well, for starters, my name is Natsuki Subaru—named after one of the star constellations in the sky,” he said, pointing upward for Emilia to see.

“Constellations?” she tilted her head.

“It’s basically a group of stars that are close, or at least look close to each other. We named them to keep track of them,” he explained, and she nodded.

“My parents loved stars, you see. And in turn, I grew to love watching them too. There’s just something about them that feels so… soothing.”

“Like that one.” Subaru pointed up at a star in the sky.

Emilia tilted her head back again, but from where she sat it was hard to see exactly what he was pointing at. “Which one?” she asked.

“You won’t find it from there. Come on, lie down here.” Subaru patted the grass beside him. Emilia hesitated for a moment, clearly not used to just laying on the ground, but eventually gave in and lowered herself down.

Grab.

Without warning, Subaru reached over, gently pulling her shoulder until their heads touched.

“Wha—!” Emilia squeaked softly, her cheeks flushing from the sudden closeness.

“There! See?” Subaru said, eyes never leaving the stars. He pointed upward with a boyish grin, his gaze shining with unfiltered joy and wonder.

He talked about the constellations with a passion that poured from every word, Emilia felt something stir in her chest—a small tug on her heart at the sight of someone so happy, just from looking at the stars.

“That one looks like Ursa Major.”

“Mm?!” Emilia finally snapped out of her daze, realizing she had been staring at the boy’s eyes for far too long and hadn’t listened to a word he said.

“It’s one of the constellations from my world. But… it’s kinda weird. They look… mirrored.” Subaru kept watching that patch of stars, his brow furrowed. Then, all at once, his eyes widened. He shot upright so fast that Emilia’s head, which had been resting lightly against his shoulder, slipped and fell back onto the grass.

He stood and raised his hands, shaping them like a makeshift telescope as if it would help him focus on the sky. It didn’t do much, but at least it narrowed his view to that one constellation.

“It is Ursa Major,” he whispered to himself, tracing the stars with his finger. He spotted Merak (β UMa) and Dubhe (α UMa) lining up, pointing straight toward what could only be Polaris—the North Star.

“We’re in the same universe…” Subaru’s voice trembled, cracking under the weight of pure joy. His whole body shook as he whispered the words, overwhelmed.

Then it hit him all at once. “We’re in the same universe!” he screamed up at the stars, the realization finally sinking in.

Spinning around, he spotted Emilia still on the grass, looking utterly bewildered as she tried to brush herself off.

“Emilia!”

“Eep!” she squeaked, startled as Subaru suddenly lunged and grabbed her by the shoulders.

“We’re in the same universe!” he shouted right in her face, his grin so wide it looked like it might split his cheeks.

“W-who?!” Emilia stammered, desperately trying to make sense of his outburst.

“My parents!” Subaru blurted out, shaking her shoulders with uncontainable glee. The sheer brightness of his smile was almost blinding.

He pointed straight at Merak. “They’re right there! About eighty million light-years away from that star! If the distance holds the same here, then we’re only a hundred and sixty million light-years apart!” Subaru explained, his words tumbling out in a rush. The half-elf could only stare, shocked—and maybe a little unnerved—by his overwhelming excitement.

“That doesn’t sound like good news…” she muttered under her breath.

But Subaru didn’t stop. “No! don’t you get it?! People here can move faster than light! Hell, Regulus can stop time for himself! Nothing is impossible here! And the fact that I ended up here in the first place proves it!” He kept ranting, stringing words together she couldn’t fully understand—but even if she didn’t grasp all of it, she caught enough.

His parents… somewhere out there in the sky. And Subaru himself had come from there too. If he had crossed that impossible distance once, it meant he could do it again.

“I can see my parents again…” His voice cracked as tears welled up, joy spilling into every word. Emilia watched him smile through the tears and realized—it wasn’t sorrow at all. It was pure, radiant hope.

Emilia gently pulled him into her arms, letting Subaru cry his happiness out against her shoulder.

They stayed like that for a few quiet minutes, until the rush of emotions finally settled and the night air cooled their cheeks. Eventually, they both decided it was time to rest. Subaru apologized for ruining her dress, and Emilia only laughed, teasing that he’d be the one washing it later anyway.

All in all, it had been a very good night.

“Aaaarggghhh!!!” A boy screamed into his pillow in the middle of the night. Whether he was crazy or just plain unhinged, nobody knew.

“I cried on her shoulder?! Who does that?! Fuuuuuuuck!!!” he kept wailing, thrashing around on his bed.

“Oh god, she’s gonna get turned off so bad! Nooooo!!!”

“And just when I finally started catching feelings for her?! Damn it all!!!” He slammed his fist against the mattress, panting heavily after all his whining and rolling around.

“Pant, pant... It’s okay. It’s all okay! It’s not like I totally blew my chances with her. She’s nice! She won’t mind me crying on her.”

“God, I want to disappear so bad…” He buried his face into the pillow again, desperate to suffocate the thoughts out of his head.

Knock knock.

The sudden sound made him jolt upright, heart skipping a beat.

“Who’s there?” he called out to whoever was on the other side of the door.

Silence. No reply came back.

Rem, maybe? he thought. Did she forget there’s no lesson tonight?

Before dinner ended, he’d already told her he needed some space, so he’d taken a break from their usual literacy lessons.

Knock knock.

“Yes, yes, I’m coming,” he called out, dragging himself out of bed to answer.

He made his way toward the door. It was a bit of a walk—his room is much bigger than the previous bedroom he used to have back home. Not surprising, really, since he now lives in a mansion.

Even as a servant, space wasn’t an issue. With so few people living here, there were plenty of vacant rooms to choose from.

His hand tightened around the doorknob before giving it a slow turn. The hinges groaned as the door opened with a low creak.

The hallway outside was swallowed in darkness, making it hard to see who had come knocking at this hour.

Then, as his eyes adjusted, he caught a faint glimmer of silver hair.

“…Emilia?”

The girl kept her head down, silver bangs hiding her eyes. Her white dress seemed to glow faintly in the dim light, completing her ethereal look.

“Do you need something?” Subaru asked softly, placing a cautious hand on her shoulder.

“Mmm?!”

Without a word, the silver-haired girl suddenly leaned in, her lips colliding with his.

What?! Subaru’s mind blanked, his heart hammering against his ribs as her warmth enveloped him.

“MMM—mm?!” He tried to pull back, but she pressed harder, her body driving him until his back hit the wall. Her slender frame hid surprising strength, pinning him in place.

Her lips were impossibly soft, insistent, moving against his as if trying to coax him open. Subaru’s head spun, his breath stolen with every second she refused to let go. Heat curled in his stomach, sharp and dizzying.

She’s… she’s not stopping…

Finally, she pulled back with a breathless gasp. “Phuaaah~”

She finally tore herself away, breath hot against his face. A string of saliva clung between their lips, stretching, trembling, before snapping apart. Her face hovered close, half-veiled by her bangs.

But her eyes gleamed with a heat that felt… wrong.

“Mitsuketa~”

Her voice slid into his ears like nails against a chalkboard—soft, beautiful, almost musical.

It was perfect. Too perfect.

“I've found you! I've found you right~? Ahahahaha!” Her laughter rang through the hallway, bubbling with delight. Yet there was no warmth in it. No joy. It was the sound of madness, obsession.

“W-who…” The word caught in his throat. He knew. He knew who this was. But his mind refused to admit it.

“Didn’t you know me already?”

Her body began to ripple. Skin sagged, flesh sloughed off like melting wax. Blobs of raw, writhing tissue slid to the floor, twisting and reshaping, each grotesque sound echoing in the hallway.

The form that emerged was smaller, sharper—unnervingly familiar. Blonde hair framed her face, a crude fly-shaped pin holding it in place. Those gleaming purplish pink eyes caught the light like a predator’s, her stature childlike yet wrong, clothed now in a revealing purple top that left her stomach bare, sleeves clinging down to her fingertips like the limbs of an insect.

Every detail confirmed it. There was no mistaking her.

Capella Emerada Lugnica. The Sin Archbishop of Lust.

And then, with a voice dripping in twisted sweetness, she whispered:

“Darling~”

Arc 2 : Lust filled mansion

Boom!

Some kind of explosion rattled the mansion, its shockwave shaking the floor beneath his feet and nearly knocking him off balance.

“Kyah~!”

Subaru seized the moment, shoving the Archbishop hard to the ground before bolting out of the room.

The hallway beyond was swallowed in darkness. His footsteps pounded against the polished floor as his breath came ragged and fast. Panic clawed at his chest—everything had gone wrong the instant he let his guard down.

How? How? How the hell am I supposed to survive this?!

His thoughts spiraled, but then—an image flashed in his mind. Silver hair. Gentle eyes.

“Emilia!” Subaru’s voice cracked as he shouted her name. His body moved before thought could catch up, sprinting desperately toward her room.

‘Emilia,’ his mind raced, ‘if it was her, she could—’

Thud!

“Argh!”

His foot slammed against something solid in the dark, and he went crashing to the floor, momentum throwing him forward hard. Pain shot up his elbow and burned through his knees as he tried to break the fall.

For a moment, all he could hear was his ragged breathing echoing in the hallway. Slowly, his vision began to adjust to the suffocating dark of the mansion, the shadows sharpening into something clearer…

Then his pupils shrank, breath hitching as his eyes locked onto the thing he had stumbled over.

A girl. A maid’s dress. Blue hair matted dark with sticky liquid. Blood—so much blood. And tangled within it… intestines.

His mind stuttered, failed to form thoughts.

“R-Rem…” His voice cracked, trembling, chest burning as his heartbeat pounded like it wanted to tear free. Slowly, almost against his will, he crawled closer.

“Rem!” He gathered her head in shaking hands, lifting her gently—desperately. But only lifeless eyes stared back. Glassy. Empty. Blood still dripped from her lips, from the cruel, precise cut that split her midsection open.

“Do you like her?”

A high-pitched woman’s voice cut through the silence.

Subaru froze, every muscle locking in place. His eyes darted wildly around the room, searching for the source.

“She was so beautiful,” the voice purred again. “But she looks even prettier now, don’t you think?”

His stomach churned. Slowly, he turned—and his blood ran cold.

Out from the shadows stepped a tall, alluring woman dressed in black. Her gaze locked onto him, sharp and hungry.

“Y-you…” His voice cracked with fear.

“Ara~ you remember me. How cute.” She crouched, lowering herself to his height, her smile wicked as she leaned forward—her cleavage drawing his eyes no matter how desperately he tried to look away.

Subaru yelped in fear, his body jolting backward as he kicked against the floor. He barely slid a few inches, clutching the cold, limp body of the blue-haired maid to his chest.

“It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you,” the woman cooed. Her heels clicked softly against the bloodstained floor as she advanced, her smile widening at the sight of his terror.

A soft hand reached out, brushing against his cheek. The touch was deceptively gentle, but the smear of blood she left behind burned against his skin. Her giggle rang out, lilting and cruel.

“Run along now.” She gave his cheek a light, mocking slap. “You have someone else to meet, don’t you?”

And before his mind could even process her words, the black-dressed woman melted into the shadows—gone as suddenly as she had appeared.

“Emilia!” a boy’s voice echoed through the darkened halls as he sprinted down the mansion corridor.

“Puck!” His breaths came ragged, every step heavier than the last. The mansion’s vastness mocked him now, each hallway stretching endlessly, slowing his escape.

“Beako…” His mind spun in desperation, clinging to any name, any ally who might pull him out of this nightmare.

“Rem…” Her face surfaced in his thoughts unbidden—those lifeless eyes, that empty stare. The image seared into him, each memory striking like a blade.

Should I just— The thought clawed at him, half-formed, before panic drowned it out.

Then, at last, salvation seemed close. Emilia’s room came into sight. His lungs burned, his chest heaved, but he pushed forward with everything he had.

The door creaked open on its own. Slowly.

Someone stepped out.

“Emilia!” He recognized her instantly—the silver-haired girl in her nightclothes turned toward him, wide-eyed at the desperation in his voice.

“Subaru?!” she called back, startled, confusion etched across her face. “What happened?!”

Relief surged through him like air to a drowning man. For a fleeting moment, the weight crushing his chest eased. She was alive. She was safe.

But then—

A shadow stretched unnaturally across the floor behind her.

His heart plummeted.

“Watch out!” he screamed, voice breaking in sheer panic.

She turned, lips parting, only to meet a pair of gleaming purplish pink eyes staring into her. Eyes that carried no warmth, no mercy.

She turned, lips parting—only for her voice to die in her throat.

Because in that instant… she no longer had a mouth.

Chapter Text

Subaru’s breath hitched, his chest tightening as the figure loomed in front of him, one clawed hand pressed against Emilia’s body, the girl's fate is entirely In her mercy.

“You…” The word scraped out of his throat, trembling—not from fear alone, but from the sheer impossibility of what he was seeing. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not here. Not now.

“What kind of fucked-up twist is this…?” he muttered, frustration spilling over into panic.

Capella tilted her head, eyes glowing with that sickly purplish-pink hue, shimmering with cruel mockery. “What is this indeed? This lovely lady has traveled from so far away just to meet you, and yet—” her voice cracked into a shrill, poisonous giggle, “—you chase after another girl? How very, very rude, don’t you think?!”

Her grip tightened, fingers sinking cruelly into Emilia’s chest. The half-elf’s body jerked, a muffled cry strangled inside her mouthless face.

“I had such high hopes for you,” Capella crooned, her voice swaying between honey and venom, “but you’re no different from the other meat-bags, drooling over flesh! Though, with such a perverted body like this, I suppose I can’t blame you~” Her clawed hand groped Emilia’s chest with grotesque exaggeration, mocking both her and Subaru as the boy’s blood boiled in helpless rage.

“Mmm!” Emilia finally snapped, slapping the Archbishop’s hand away before driving a kick straight into her face.

The impact rang out. Capella didn’t dodge. She didn’t block. She simply let the strike land.

Subaru’s breath caught as he watched. He should feel relief—Emilia was free, or at least as free as anyone could be in Capella’s grasp. But who was he kidding? This loop was already finished.

There was no point in provoking her even more.

Capella’s body slammed into the far wall, dust bursting outward, cloaking her figure in a gray shroud.

Then—she was gone.

“Mm?!” Emilia gasped, panic flaring in her eyes as the Archbishop vanished from sight.

Emilia tried to cast some Huma to protect herself with but without her mouth to chant it became harder to do. Nevertheless she managed to summon 3 Huma crystals around her.

Where?! Emilia’s eyes darted across the room, desperately searching for the Archbishop.

“Hereee~” The singsong voice purred right at her ear. Capella was standing beside her all along, close enough to touch.

“Hhmm!” Emilia lashed out again, swinging with everything she had—

But it was a mistake.

“Mmm?!” Her voice caught in her throat as her body betrayed her. Her limbs vanished in an instant, her strength stolen away. She collapsed onto the floor, a pathetic, limbless doll of flesh.

Her eyes squeezed shut, only for her eyelids to fuse. Her ears folded, sealing to silence.

A single hand. Just one palm pressed casually against her hip was all it took to end the fight.

No mouth. No limbs. No eyes. No ears.

Emilia was left utterly—completely—helpless.

It was dark. It was quiet.

Too dark. Too quiet.

Emptiness pressed in on her like a suffocating blanket, and Emilia’s chest tightened with terror. Three of her five senses had been stolen away in a single instant, and her mind clawed for answers. What’s happening? What’s happening to me?

Her heart hammered, faster, louder—until it was the only proof she still existed. The human mind cannot survive without sensation, and yet… the only thing left was the cold floor beneath her chest.

And then, that too vanished.

The world slipped away like water through her fingers, and much like her fingers– it disappeared just as fast, leaving her stranded in an endless void.

Her body flailed—or at least, she thought it did. She couldn’t feel her arms, her legs, her skin. Nothing answered her commands.

She tried to scream, but she had no mouth.

She tried to listen, but there was no sound.

She tried to see, but there was only black.

The terror deepened, crawling like ice down her spine—except even the sensation of her spine was fading. She was dissolving, piece by piece, into nothing. A nightmare without waking, a coffin without walls.

The fourth sense was gone.

“Ahahahahahaaa~! As if that flimsy little kick could work on this lovely lady! That was just rude—rude girl!” Capella cackled as she swung her leg forward, the front of her foot slamming mercilessly into Emilia’s stomach.

The half-elf’s broken body was sent tumbling, skidding across the floor before crashing at Subaru’s feet with a sickening thud.

He looked down.

What lay before him was no longer the girl he cherished. The silver hair he admired was disheveled, caked in dust. The violet eyes that once shone with resolve, and the delicate ears that marked her elven grace—gone. Her face was a blank, twisted mockery, as if someone had sculpted a mannequin from raw flesh and left it unfinished.

Subaru’s breath hitched. His legs buckled. He dropped to his knees beside her, staring in mute horror.

Puck. Subaru’s mind clawed for a solution. If Puck is here, he can—

But the memories rushed in, cold and merciless.

“That’s not how spirit contracts work, in fact.”

“Once the terms are set, they can’t be ignored. Unless you want to burn through your own od, there’s no way to go against it, I suppose.”

“And one of my conditions…”
“Is that I clock out at five sharp. Unless Lia calls for me directly, I won’t even be conscious to notice what’s happening.”

The words echoed like a death sentence.

Unless Lia calls for me directly.

His eyes drifted back to Emilia—her mouth was gone.

The first thing Capella had done… was to silence her.

It wasn’t random. It wasn’t cruelty for cruelty’s sake. She had known.

Subaru’s gaze snapped up to the blonde monster standing across from him. Her dark-pink eyes glittered with malicious amusement, drilling into him as if she could read every frantic thought tearing through his skull.

She knew about Puck.
She knew about Emilia.
She knew about the contract.

This wasn’t improvisation. This was a plan.

“Ahaha—” Subaru let out a chuckle, ragged and misplaced, his voice shaking despite the grim, nightmarish scene around him.

“Again and again… is this how it’s going to be? I’m really getting sick of your ‘I counter your counter’ bullshit!” He threw his words at the archbishop, but they rang more like a cry against the world itself.

“I should be living a better life than the original! This was supposed to be a speedrun! I know the future! And yet—again, and again—you people crawl out of nowhere and change the script, like this is some AU fanfic garbage!”

His laugh broke into a hysterical bark, echoing through the darkened hall. “I mean—it is, isn’t it?! An AU! Written by some bored asshole out there who thought, ‘Hey, let’s throw Capella Emerada Lugnica into the second arc!’ REALLY?!”

The mania bled out of him, his voice cracking as the edges of his anger frayed into despair. He sank to the floor, muttering bitterly to himself.

“God, I’m so stupid… Everyone knows the first loop is just for information gathering. I shouldn’t have made friends… shouldn’t have caught feelings… when I knew none of it would matter.”

His words softened, each one heavier than the last. Memories flickered behind his eyes—smiles, conversations, warmth he thought he could keep. And one by one, he let them go.

Because he would come back.
He always did.
And he would start again. From zero.

He looked up and met the archbishop’s eyes.

She stood there, hands folded behind her back, smiling as if she were at a tea party while he ranted like a lunatic.

“You,” Subaru spat, venom in his voice. “Is there any way you could just… leave me alone? Do I have that option?”

Capella adopted an exaggerated thinking pose, lips playing about the words as if she were considering a treat. “Mmm… let me think about it.” She leaned closer, grin widening. “Nope! I’m here for you and you alone after all! If you try to leave, I’ll hunt you down.”

Her smirk was confident, practically delighted—she knew how hopelessly outmatched he was. There was no safe corner he could hide in; even if he ran, she would find him.

"Thought so" Subaru let out a breath and reached inward, letting the mana he’d been circulating seep down into his gate.

The first time he bared it felt like someone had shoved ice into his stomach — a crisp, numbing pain that made his vision swim. He gritted his teeth and pulled anyway, shaping the gathered mana into something concrete.

“Minya.”
A single dark crystal blinked into being in his palm, small and cold as a tombstone.

Capella’s face twisted into a sneer. “Really? Suicide?” she said, disgust loud in the word. “You think you can avoid me by dying?” She turned away like the idea was beneath her. “Well, this lovely lady won’t stop someone from doing their meaningless little struggle. Do what you’ve got to do.”

She watched him with that amused, cruel patience of a predator. It was obvious — if he tried to end it, she wouldn’t let him.

He could tear himself apart and she would stitch him back together a thousand times over; she’d watch him suffer and smile the whole while.

But Subaru has a different thing in mind.

He lifted the Minya crystal high, tilting his head back as if to drive it through his own neck. His hand trembled; tears gathered at the corners of his eyes.

For a long breath he hung there, shaking, the world narrowing to the weight of the crystal in his fist and the iron taste of finality at the back of his throat. Then, with a quick, ugly resolve, he drove his arm down in a fast stabbing motion.

“I’m sorry,” he mouthed, the words nearly swallowed by the noise in his own ears.

Shluck. The crystal sliced through flesh with a horrible, effortless smoothness. Darkness bloomed at the wound, and the flesh around it crystallized in a spreading, dark-purple pattern — glasslike and cold, as if the wound had been frozen into place.

Only then did he register what he’d done.

The body beneath his hand was not his own.

He looked down. The half-elf he had come to trust—gentle, patient, the one who had helped him, sheltered him, shown him kindness—now lay at his feet.

Black-purple crystal webbed outward from where the Minya had pierced her chest, branching in jagged veins that clustered tightly around her heart. Her breaths were slowing, uneven, fading. Her eyes were nowhere to be seen.

Without even knowing what just happened, trapped in that void of nothingness with only her fragile hope of being saved to cling to, her life was suddenly cut short.

He wondered, if her eyes were still there, what kind of look would she bestowed him?

Tears spilled from him, hot and stupid. He had hoped — desperately, selfishly — that she might understand, that some thread of reason would make her forgive the impossible choice he felt forced to make.

He hoped she would see that it was meant to stop something worse, that it was the only lever left to pull.

A thunderous boom cracked the air; sound shredded into white-cold noise and then–

Everything went white.

Subaru lay broken in the garden, his shattered bones jutting through skin, every shallow breath painting the air white. Pain gnawed at him.

The grass beneath him was swallowed by frost, turning brittle and white as snow blanketed the ground in seconds. The temperature plummeted, so sharp and sudden it felt like the world itself was dying.

He forced his head upward—and froze.

Perched atop the mansion roof was a colossal figure. Its body was smothered in a sea of gray fur that rippled in the storm winds, each strand glinting like frozen needles.

Then he saw the eyes.

Two massive orbs, glowing in the storm, locked onto him with merciless intent.

Above, the sky twisted. Black clouds churned into a vortex, and a blizzard screamed to life, howling like the world’s final breath. The cold clawed into Subaru’s chest, prying the heat from his body, dragging him toward the edge of nothingness.

“Natsuki Subaru.”

The beast’s voice rolled over him—too loud, too annoying.

“You failed. Not only can’t you protect my da—”

“Oh shut the fuck up!” Subaru cut it off, forcing the words out through a burst of bloody coughs. He tasted iron; each breath was a shard.

He kept his eyes locked on the creature, slanted and hard as flint. There was no fear in them—only a tired, furious calm.

“Just… shut up and kill me already.” His voice came out rough from the cold and pain, ragged and half-swallowed by the howling wind. Given how he felt, it was a miracle he hadn’t already frozen solid.

The giant beast narrowed its eyes at the boy’s broken figure. Where was it—the authority he had spoken of with such certainty? Why hadn’t he used it yet?

And then the realization struck. Of course. The power to fix everything. He was the one.

With a thunderous snarl, the beast of the end leapt from the roof, its massive body blotting out what little light remained. The air split with the force of its descent, one colossal paw arcing downward like judgment itself.

Subaru’s gaze followed the shadow crashing toward him. He closed his eyes, a faint, bitter smile tugging at his lips as he embraced the inevitable.

Next time… I will definitely—

The paw struck, shattering earth and stone alike, the impact leaving nothing but a crimson smear where the boy once layed.

—save you.

And thus, Natsuki Subaru had died.

“Familiar ceiling.”

Subaru’s eyes flicked open, staring at the wooden beams above him. A ceiling he knew all too well.

Warm. The air wrapped around his body in gentle comfort, the biting frost that had clawed at his bones moments ago nothing more than a cruel memory.

Relief washed over him, colliding with shock, indignation, disbelief. A storm of emotions churned in his chest, each one louder than the last as he struggled to take in his surroundings.

And at the core of it all—

Rage.

“Bastard,” he hissed between clenched teeth, the word tasting of venom. In a single motion he sat up, tearing the sheets away from his body and flinging them to the floor, his whole frame trembling with unbridled fury.

"Guest-sama, you shouldn’t move too much yet."

From the other side of the bed came a soft, familiar voice. Feminine, gentle, carrying that polite cadence he knew so well.

Subaru’s head turned slowly, his body still aching, until his eyes fell upon the twin maids standing at his bedside. Both were watching him, but only one of them held that unmistakable look of quiet concern.

"Rem…" The name left his lips in a breath, almost trembling.

Her face—so alive, so warm in front of him—clashed violently with the memory carved into his mind. The memory of her corpse. Cold, limp, drained of life. A weight he couldn’t shake even in this new loop.

The contrast hit him like a blade to the chest.

The sight of her alive should have brought him relief, but instead it fanned the flames burning in his heart.

Rage, raw and bitter, surged through him. The kind of rage born not from what he had lost, but from knowing he would lose it all again.

He shot to his feet, legs moving before thought could catch up, and stormed toward the door. His hand slammed it open with reckless abandon, the sound echoing like thunder through the hall.

Two maids hurried to intercept him, panic in their steps.

“Guest-sama! Roswaal-sama instructed you to wait in the dining room!” one pleaded, bowing slightly as if the gesture alone could halt his momentum.

But the boy’s mind had narrowed to a single point, a single question. His eyes, sharp with urgency, cut through them.

“Where is Roswaal?” His voice came low, demanding, though the answer had already begun to take shape in his mind.

“She is still in her office. She instructed you to—”

And that was where his patience ended. Their voices faded to noise in his ears, drowned out by the storm of determination pounding in his chest.

Slam!

The wooden door burst open, and a boy stormed in, slanted eyes burning with unrestrained fury. His arms still outstretched from throwing the door aside, he fixed his glare on the lady of the manor.

“You!” he snapped, jabbing a finger at her. His voice cracked with raw anger. “What the fuck?!”

“Oh my~ I was sure I told the maids to—”

“Shut the fuck up before I leave you all to die,” he cut her off sharply, his tone dripping with impatience.

Spinning around, he turned his fury onto the maids.

“You two.” His finger shifted to them like the barrel of a gun. “Get out. Now.”

“We don’t take orders from—”

“DID I FUCKING STUTTER?!” he roared, his voice echoing off the walls as he cut the pink-haired maid short.

His glare bore down on them, blazing with unfiltered rage. And only then—standing there, teeth clenched and breath ragged—did Subaru realize it. His fury wasn’t for them. He had misplaced it.

“Rem, Ram—leave us, please,” Roswaal’s voice drifted across the room, smooth and unhurried as ever.

The twin maids exchanged uneasy glances before bowing. Though worry lingered in their eyes for the strange guest, they ultimately chose to trust their master’s command and withdrew in silence.

Now alone, Subaru sat across the table from Roswaal, his posture rigid, his eyes sharp and unyielding. He glared straight into the noble lady's overly beautiful face, his fists clenched tight in his lap.

“My, my~" Roswaal sang softly, that eternal smirk never faltering. "Such a reaction. Dare I guess that you’ve… seen something you didn’t like, and decided to pin the blame on me?”

“Who else am I supposed to blame?” Subaru shot back, his stare like daggers, voice low but heavy with accusation.

“Fair enough.” The lady raised her cup of tea, sipping with perfect calm. “But I must confess… this time, it wasn’t me,” she said smoothly.

“Oh, and I’m just supposed to believe that?” Subaru shot back, his tone dripping with mockery.

“Of course not.” Her voice was soft, lilting, carrying just enough amusement to be infuriating. “But maybe… you could believe something else~?”

A smirk tugged at her lips as she glided toward one of her cabinets. With deliberate care, she unlocked it, reached inside, and retrieved something. Turning back, she placed it upon the table between them, the sound of it landing echoing far louder than it should have.

Subaru’s breath caught. His eyes widened the moment he recognized it.

The Book of Wisdom.

The original. The one that belonged to Roswaal.

He lifted his head, breath shallow, and found Roswaal’s smirking face fixed on him, a smile that never reached her eyes.

“Go on,” she coaxed, her tone dripping with amusement. “Read it. Any page will do. They’re all the same, anyway.”

Subaru’s hand crept toward the book, hesitant, trembling slightly as though the tome might lunge at him the moment he touched it. The weight of dread pressed against his chest as his fingers brushed the cover.

Slowly, carefully, he opened it—just a random page. The parchment crackled faintly, the ink staring back at him like something alive. He leaned closer, forcing himself to focus, lips moving as he pieced together the letters. He wasn’t fluent in this world’s language yet, but the words were clear enough to understand.

[Keep the boy. Do whatever he asks you to do.]

A command. Short. Simple.

Absolute.

Chapter Text

This morning has been quite eventful for the mansion’s residents. Roswaal-sama had summoned everyone to gather in the dining room.

No one knew the exact purpose of the meeting, though if Ram had to guess, it surely had something to do with the rude guest from earlier that morning.

That same guest now sat brazenly beside her master—occupying the main seat, a place reserved solely for the lord of the mansion.

Even Lady Beatrice was present, a clear sign of just how serious this emergency truly was.

“I'm sorry, it took me a while to get ready,” Lady Emilia-sama entered the room, quickly taking a seat at the table. She could sense the tension in the air.

With her arrival, everyone was finally gathered, and the meeting could begin.

“First of all,” the rude guest began, “thank you all for making the time to attend this announcement. I understand you each have your own duties, but I assure you this matter is far more important—or at the very least, more pressing—than whatever you were occupied with.”

“Can we skip the formalities? I’m still sleepy,” Puck, Emilia-sama’s great spirit, muttered while rubbing his eyes with his tiny paws.

The guest stared at him for several seconds, his expression unreadable, before finally nodding and turning forward once more.

“Another thing I need to address first.” He turned his head toward Ram and Rem, who were standing beside Emilia-sama on the other side of the table.

The guest rose to his feet and gave a bow.

“I’m sorry for my attitude this morning. I was frustrated, and I hope you can understand my actions once you’ve heard my announcement.” His apology sounded sincere; his voice lacked the overly proud and confident edge he had shown the night before.

That was… surprising. Maybe he wasn’t entirely beyond redemption after all.

Rem remained silent, though Ram could tell even she was taken aback by his sudden display of humility.

“We understand, guest-sama,” Ram said, breaking the awkward silence that lingered in the room. “But we would like to hear the reason for your… frustration this morning.”

The boy straightened his back and returned to his seat. “Right,” he said. “This is quite heavy, so you might want to brace yourselves first.”

“Take your time, guest-sama. It’s not like we have anything to do for the rest of the day,” Ram replied with her usual sarcasm.

“Right.” He didn’t quip back, nor did he mock her in return. “Anyway, I don’t know how to soften this news, so I’ll just say it bluntly.”

“Capella Emerada Lugunica. The Witch Cult Archbishop of Lust is going to attack this mansion in three days.”

Everyone’s eyes went wide. That was one shocking announcement to hear this early in the morning.

Rem’s hand clenched instinctively. Beatrice-sama and Puck-sama suddenly had their full attention on the boy, aware of how dangerous it would be if he were telling the truth.

“And where did you get this information?” Puck asked.

“Magic,” Subaru answered swiftly.

“Do you have any proof to back up this claim I suppose?” Beatrice-sama asked.

“None at all,” he said, which drew the same dismissive looks.

Everyone stared at him again, this time with more frustration in their expressions.

“Can you tell us… anything that would make us believe this claim of yours I suppose?” Beatrice-sama asked, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

“How about if you don’t believe me, there’s a good chance you’ll die,” the boy said, his voice fixed with a certainty as if he had witnessed it himself. His words hung heavily.

“You underestimate us, in fact,” Beatrice-sama said. “No matter who the Witch Cult sends, Betty herself is enough to beat them all, I suppose.”

The boy chuckled at her words, as if he found the idea ridiculous.

“You,” he said between laughs, “you’re always like that. Boastful and arrogant — cute when done right, but too much is just annoying.”

The great spirit of Yin scowled.

“Let me tell you something.” His tone shifted; his smile faltered like a fallen leaf. “You are strong. Your magic is powerful. You can change the landscape with a spell.”

“But you can’t do anything against a knife to the stomach,” he added abruptly. “You’re a glass cannon. All of you are. All your fancy spells and strong bodies don’t mean anything when you can’t even see your enemy.”

“The biggest problem we have to deal with is the ambush. In a straight fight, I’m confident that you, Puck, Roswaal, or even Emilia would be enough to defeat the Archbishop of Lust.

I’m just here to warn all of you—don’t let your guard down. Do with that information as you will.”

With those words, the boy finished his announcement and rose from the table.

“Roswaal, can I borrow one of your maids to help me read? I need to learn as much magic as I can before the fight,” he asked in a quiet, tired tone. No theatrics, no over-the-top expressions—nothing.

“Sure~ I can help you with that myself, if you prefer. Though, are you not going to wait for breakfast? Rem-chan worked hard to prepare it, y’know?” Roswaal replied with his usual sing-song voice.

“I’m not hungry,” the guest answered coldly. “But yes, having an expert in the subject would be better than a simple reading helper. You can enjoy breakfast if you want. I’ll be in the library.”

With those parting words, the guest left the dining room and headed straight for the library, leaving the rest of the mansion’s residents to enjoy their meal.

Ram watched his fading figure disappear through the door. He had changed—the way he spoke now was a stark contrast to the day before.

Ram’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe she should lock the windows, just in case.

Emilia sat anxiously in the library, pretending to focus on her books about the kingdom’s politics while her ears caught bits of Roswaal teaching the guest the theory of magic.

The way they interacted—the closeness Roswaal showed to Subaru, her friend—sparked a faint jealousy in her heart.

“Huh,” Subaru muttered to himself. “So our gate doesn’t actually produce mana? We just… take it in from the atmosphere and convert it into our own.”

“That’s right~ It’s a common misconception among new mages,” the noblewoman confirmed in a sweet, instructive tone.

Emilia was a little surprised by the noble lady’s demeanor. Roswaal had always been cold and dismissive toward most men who approached her, yet now she was acting… sweet?

“What about spirit arts then? I thought the difference between magic and spirit arts was that one uses your gate while the other uses the mana from the atmosphere,” Subaru asked again.

“Spirit arts do use the mana from the atmosphere, that’s correct. But~ you don’t need to use your gate to convert that mana into your own. Simply put, spirit arts draw on the raw version of mana to cast spells, while normal magic uses a more ‘cooked’ version,” Roswaal explained in a way that was easy to understand.

“Why would anyone use normal magic if you can just cast spells with raw mana, then?” the boy asked.

“Why would you eat cooked tatoes if you can eat them raw?” Roswaal countered.

“You can’t eat raw tatoes.”

“You absolutely can.”

The two bickered like old friends, their voices light with familiarity. Once again, it made the half-elf feel a small pang of jealousy.

She wanted to sit there too—laughing, chatting, and sharing in that warmth.

“All jokes aside. Spirit arts is like catching, plucking, and eating a chicken raw, while normal magic lets you store the chicken for later and cook it whenever you’re hungry.

The best part? Your gate naturally catches and prepares the chicken on its own—you just have to cook it before eating.”

Subaru nodded in understanding; the analogy made the lesson much clearer.

“So, how much mana can someone actually store in their gate if they really try?” he asked.

“Hm? Well, that depends on the person’s gate. An experienced magician might be able to store two or three Al-level spells’ worth of mana before needing to replenish it. Their recovery rate also varies from person to person,” Roswaal explained.

“How many Al-level spells can you throw in one go?” Subaru asked.

“A normal Al-level spell? About ten, maybe twelve if I push it. Though my strongest spell can only be used twice before I need to recover my mana again.”

Subaru nodded thoughtfully before continuing. “What about me? With the size of my gate, what level of spell could I use?”

“Well~ to answer that, I’d have to examine your gate myself. And for that, I’ll need direct skin-to-skin contact, soooo~”

“Just go for it,” Subaru replied without hesitation.

Emilia noticed Roswaal’s eyes light up at his words before she quickly coughed and straightened her posture.

“Excuse me, then.” She slipped off her gloves while Subaru lifted his tracksuit, revealing his bare stomach.

“Oh my~” Roswaal purred. He wasn’t bulky, but his torso was lean and toned, the faint outline of muscle visible across his stomach.

Emilia’s cheeks heated instantly. She averted her gaze, her face blooming red.

After a few minutes of checking (definitely not groping), Roswaal finally released his stomach and gave her verdict.

“Hmmm. You might be able to cast one Al-level spell if you used one hundred percent of your gate, but you’d risk breaking it in the process. Combined with your lack of knowledge and experience, I’d suggest you stick to El-level spells or lower—and even then, only in moderation,” she explained.

“So El is the limit, huh…” Subaru muttered under his breath before returning to his book. His expression was unusually serious as he read.

Watching him put in that much effort, Emilia felt motivated to push herself a little harder too.

“Guest-sama, you might want to take a break.”

Out in the garden of the Mathers manor, a young man sat cross-legged on the grass, sweat dripping down his face as a pained expression twisted his already intimidating features.

He was forcing his gate, attempting the flow method at full capacity despite its rusted state. From the outside, it looked as though he was about to explode.

From the inside? He knew he was about to explode.

“Gah!” he groaned, collapsing onto the grass. One hand caught his fall, his breathing turning ragged as pain coursed through him.

“Guest-sama!” The blue-haired maid rushed to his side, kneeling beside him in alarm.

Her hand pressed gently against his stomach, glowing faintly with a soft white light. Slowly, the pain in his body began to ease.

“Thanks, Rem,” he muttered, his voice weak but steady.

“Guest-sama, you shouldn’t push yourself too hard. Roswaal-sama said you should take things slowly.” Her words carried genuine concern—odd, considering the lingering animosity she usually held toward anyone tainted with the Witch’s scent.

“Taking things slow is not going to save anyone,” the boy muttered in a low, gruntled voice. “I’m fine, Rem. My gate isn’t broken, so everything is fine.”

“But still—” Rem began, her tone edged with concern.

The boy cut her off with a dismissive wave, already shutting out her words as he sank back into meditation.

This time, instead of forcing mana to surge through his body like pressurized water through a fragile pipe, he focused only on drawing it back into his gate—steady, deliberate, contained.

Just… a little more, he told himself, forcing the thought through the haze of pain. His body screamed for rest, but he pushed on, refusing to halt his magical training no matter how much it hurt.

“Haa!” Thud

One.

“Ugh!” Thud

Two.

After finishing his magical training—and proving that he could use one hundred percent of his gate to boost the flow method—Natsuki Subaru was now testing how long he could actually maintain it in battle.

Five. Thud.

His method? Punching nearby trees, turning them into nature’s punching bags.

Fifteen! “Gah!”

His fist slammed into the trunk one last time before he doubled over, clutching his stomach, blood dripping from his knuckles.

Not only was he abusing his gate, but his body as well.

“Guest-sama, this is not healthy.” The blue-haired maid stayed at his side, watching over him under Lady Roswaal’s orders.

“This whole world is not healthy,” the boy shot back, his tone dry as he collapsed onto the ground, utterly exhausted from his training.

“That may be so,” the maid replied softly, moving closer until she was kneeling beside him. “But destroying your own body in response to it is not going to help anyone.”

The boy scowled at her words, but he was far too drained to muster a retort.

“Here.” The blue-haired maid patted her lap. “Rest your head on Rem’s lap and actually take a break this time.”

The boy blinked at her, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. Of all people, he never expected Rem to be the one offering him a lap pillow.

This was sacred territory, ladies and gentlemen. The first person to grant him such a privilege was supposed to be the one he’d simp for.

At least… if he was the same as canon Subaru.

The boy chuckled at his own joke. “Really? Someone like me?” he asked, still doubting she would actually let him rest on her lap.

“And why can’t it be you?” Rem replied softly, her voice unexpectedly gentle.

“You know why. I stink,” Subaru said, not-so-subtly reminding her of the one thing that set him apart. “I know you can smell it.”

“Rem won’t be too bothered by just a smell. A quick bath and it’s gone.”

“Not this type of smell.” Subaru’s tone dropped, his eyes narrowing with the weight of his words. He wasn’t talking about sweat. He was talking about that smell—one that lingered no matter how many baths he took. The witch’s scent.

“...”

The girl paused, letting the silence hang heavy between them.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she finally said. Her voice was steady, but there was a subtle tremor in it. “The cult are bastards. Rem has heard... they sometimes torture people with their smell—marking them, making them look like cultists.”

Subaru’s eyes widened. He lay still, too stunned to interrupt. Rem, the infamous pitbull who would cut down anyone with the witch’s stench without hesitation, was being... reasonable?

“Rem doesn’t know what your history with them is,” she continued, her gaze drifting toward the orange-tinged evening sky as though the words were easier spoken that way. “Or how you came to carry the scent. But Rem can see this much—” her eyes softened as they met his, “—you hate them. Just as much as Rem does.”

“So,” the girl said softly, patting Subaru’s head where it rested against the grass. “The enemy of my enemy… is a friend, isn’t it?” She smiled brightly down at him, the slant of the evening sun catching her features just right, making her look even more radiant.

Subaru stared at her in silence. That smile—bright, gentle, almost blinding in its warmth. A one-thousand-volt smile. No wonder so many people wanted her to be the main heroine, he thought.

“Now,” she murmured, carefully lifting his head and guiding it onto her lap. “You can rest here, enjoy the scenery.”

Her voice was calm, laced with kindness that felt almost foreign after everything he’d been through. “You can prepare for the attack when you recover. Right now… just lay down and rest.”

Her words were a lullaby, her tone a gentle spell. Subaru’s eyes grew heavy, and before long, he surrendered to the softness of her lap, drifting toward sleep in the embrace of the maid’s warmth.

Shluck.

Hot, sticky liquid splattered across Subaru’s head.

“Ahh~ what a beautiful scene~,” came the voice.

That voice.

That damned, haunting voice.

Subaru’s eyes snapped open. His heart lurched as he scrambled backward, desperate to get distance from the sound that plagued his nightmares.

And then—he saw it.

Rem. Kneeling on the ground. Eyes wide with shock. Blood pouring from her lips. A black dagger buried deep in her back, jutting cruelly out through her stomach—splitting her spine, tearing everything in its path.

And beside her, as if born from the shadows of his worst memories, stood the source of his torment.

Elsa Granhiert. The Bowel Hunter.

Rem’s head lifted weakly, her eyes straining to face her assailant in a futile act of defiance.

Slash!

Elsa’s blade carved mercilessly to the side, splitting the maid’s midsection nearly in half.

Her body collapsed to the ground with a sickening thud, blood pouring freely, staining the grass beneath her into a growing crimson pool.

Subaru’s breath caught in his throat. His vision wavered.

Because he had seen this before.

The world around him flickered—like static on a broken screen. The sight of Rem’s body before him clashed with the memory of her bleeding out in the dark corridors of the mansion.

One scene bled into the other. Then back again. And again.

Two horrors overlapping, colliding in his mind.

Until he could no longer tell if he was trapped in memory, or living it all over again.

And through it all, he could do nothing. Nothing but watch.

And in the middle of that hellish scene, a single question carved itself into his heart.

“Why…?” Subaru muttered, his voice trembling. Then louder—“Why? Why?! WHY?!”

His head snapped toward the assassin, his eyes blazing with a wild, maniacal fury.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!” he roared, his voice raw, his rage unrestrained.

“Uwaaa~ what a frightening face,” Elsa teased, her tone dripping with amusement. The mockery only poured fuel on the fire burning inside him.

“FUCKING ANSWER ME!” Subaru screamed, his entire body shaking with fury.

His mana reserves were bone dry. His gate was a strained, screaming mess. His body was battered, barely capable of holding itself upright.

And yet—despite everything—he stood.

Driven not by strength. Not by magic.

But by rage alone.

“Because you were so cute together~ I couldn’t resist.”

And that broke him.

“AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!”

Subaru lunged forward, pure rage propelling his broken body. He slammed into the assassin, tackling her to the ground.

He landed on top of her—her face still twisted into that damn smile, even pinned beneath him.

His fist came crashing down.

Crack! Blood splattered from her mouth, but that mocking smile didn’t falter.

“Urghhh!” Subaru snarled, slamming his fist down again. And again. And again. Each strike more desperate, more savage, as if he could erase her grin by brute force alone.

But no matter how many times his fists fell, that smile remained—haunting him, taunting him.

Shluck.

The dagger slipped into his stomach, cold steel burying into his flesh and striking something vital. Elsa’s grin widened, hungry for the despair she expected to see bloom on his face.

Crack!

Instead, a fist met her jaw. Blood spilled from the corner of her mouth and splattered across his knuckles. He coughed—thick, hot blood bubbling in his throat and raining onto her face—but he didn’t stop.

He hit her again. The blows were weaker now, each one losing force as the knife drank more of him, but the expression carved on his face—raw, furious, broken—was exactly what she savored.

“Ahhh~ such a charming expression,” she cooed, letting him beat himself out until there was nothing left to give. She endured his assault, patient as a predator, waiting for him to collapse and die, bleeding out atop her.

The last of his punches landed—nothing more than a trembling hand pressed weakly against her mouth.

Then his body gave out. Lifeless, it slumped forward, and Elsa caught him as if welcoming him into an embrace.

She drew him close, cradling the dying boy in her arms. One blood-soaked hand slowly stroked his hair, gentle and deliberate—like a mother lulling her child to sleep.

His rage had burned bright, consuming everything, and now only ash remained.

And at that moment, Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

Chapter Text

Subaru’s eyes snapped open. The ceiling greeted him again.

Memories came flooding back all at once, freezing him in place for a few seconds.

He was getting sick of seeing that damn ceiling.

Shrff!

He tore the blanket off, startling the two who had been watching over him.

“Guest-sama, you shouldn’t—” one of them started, but Subaru wasn’t in the mood to listen.

He stormed to the window, flung it open, and glared out at the forest surrounding the mansion.

“ELSAAAA!!!” he roared from the depths of his lungs. “YOU’RE DEEAAAD!!!”

The two maids flinched at his sudden scream into the forest, instinctively stepping back.

“Nee-sama, nee-sama… our guest seems to have lost his mind,” Rem whispered, clutching her chest.

“Rem, Rem, don’t get too close. Madness might be contagious,” Ram replied, her tone dry as ever, though her eyes stayed locked on him.

Then Subaru turned.

His gaze fell on them—dark, burning, unblinking. Those eyes alone sent another jolt of unease through the sisters.

“You two,” he began, his voice authoritative as if he owned the place, “go get Roswaal. Tell her I specifically asked for her help to search the forest near the mansion.

And tell Emilia to stay in her room and lock every door. I’m going to the kitchen to get a knife. We’re going on a hunt.”

His tone left no room for argument—these weren’t requests, they were orders.

“W-what are we hunting?” Rem asked, suddenly small and vulnerable in front of the strange guest.

“A bitch!” he snapped.

"You BITCH! Where are you?!"

Subaru tore through the forest, knife clutched tight in his hand, voice echoing between the trees.

He screamed into the shadows, daring her to show herself — the woman who had killed him in the last loop.

Which… doesn’t work like that. If you want to lure someone, be a bit more conspicuous about it. Don’t just run around with a knife yelling “BITCH” every five seconds.

Alas, that’s what he does.

“Guest-sama, who exactly are we looking for?” said the person next to him — a blue-haired maid that no one ever remembers for some reason.

Subaru came to a stop, panting after the morning jog he just did, and answered her.

“Elsa Granhiert,” the boy said, loud enough for anyone stalking him to hear. “The Bowel Hunter, member of the assassin organization led by the Sin Archbishop of Lust, Capella Emerada Lugunica.” He was really trying to lure the woman out. He even yelled her boss’s name, address, and social security number just to make sure she got what he was about.

That mention of the Witch Cult got her attention. She didn’t know who this arch-bitchsop of Lust was, but she knew she wanted to kill her.

“How did you know she’s here?” Rem asked — a very valid question.

“Magic—ELSA! WHERE ARE YOU!?” He kept yelling and yelling until suddenly—

Boom!

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” the young man shouted in frustration.

The mansion behind him exploded into a snow-covered land. The sky turned dark, and storms began brewing from the mansion as the boy ran back toward it.

"Nee-Sama!" The blue haired maid ran straight towards the mansion, leaving him behind

With Roswaal out of the mansion at his request, the only ones left to protect it were Beatrice, Emilia, Puck, and Ram.

Beatrice was strong, but she was still very susceptible to a sneak attack. Emilia and Puck were the same. Ram wasn’t even strong enough to handle Elsa one-on-one.

So the fact that THAT storm was brewing, and THAT monster was standing on top of the mansion, and THAT scene looked extremely familiar… meant that they had been sneak attacked EVEN AFTER HE ALREADY TOLD THEM—

“Natsuki Subaru.” The familiar voice of the giant Beast of the End rang out, echoing through the storm that battered Subaru’s face.

“You failed. You—”

“Shut! The fuck up!” Subaru cut the beast off before it could start its usual monologue.

“It was one assassin! ONE! HOW?! HOW DID YOU LOSE?!” Instead of standing still and letting the beast berate him for some reason, Subaru threw the accusation right back in its face.

"Beast of the end My ass! You suck at protection!" He kept yelling at the great spirit that was the size of a mansion, no fear, no hesitation. Just pure frustrating disappointment at everyone's incompetence.

“It wasn’t just one.”

“What?!”

Shluck

The words barely left his mouth before agony stole the rest. A purplish-white blade, no larger than a tanto, burst through his chest from behind—straight into his heart.

His breath caught in his throat. The sound that escaped him wasn’t even a scream, just a strangled groan torn from deep inside. His vision shook as the searing pain swallowed every nerve, every thought.

Warm blood spilled from his lips, thick and metallic, running down his chin as he staggered, desperate to turn and see the face of his killer.

But when he looked back—

There was no one.

Not a single soul stood behind him. Only the dagger remained—its chains rattling faintly, the hilt suspended in the air by nothing at all.

He lurched forward, coughing up a heavy spray of blood. His lung was punctured; the liquid welled up too fast to hold back, forcing itself past his lips in a wet, ragged choke.

The blood didn’t just fall—it splattered against the empty air, outlining a shape that should not exist. A person, unseen, standing right there.

His knees buckled. The strength bled out of him along with his life, and he crumpled to the ground. His chest burned, his skull pounded with a splitting agony born from a heart that no longer beat. His vision blurred, fading at the edges, darkening.

Invisible… assassin.

It was his final thought as he lay there, staring up at the unseen killer.

And once again—

Natsuki Subaru had died.

A young man stared blankly at the ceiling. His eyes looked far too tired for someone who had just woken from a full night’s rest.

Dark circles clung stubbornly beneath them—marks that shouldn’t appear so quickly, not on a body that should be fully recharged.

But it wasn’t his body that was exhausted. It was his soul. His mind. His memories. All of them weighed him down, leaving him far too tired to even exist, let alone move.

“Nee-Sama, Nee-Sama, our guest has woken up—but he doesn’t move.”

“Rem, Rem, he—”

Their bickering fell on deaf ears. The boy was far too tired to even listen.

If I plan and prepare… I die.
The memory of the forest, of the Bowel Hunter’s blade ending his life, flashed in his mind.

If I hunt them down… they’ll hide and strike when we’re gone.
Snow. A field painted white and red. His own body sprawled with a blade buried deep in his back.

And if I do nothing…
Capella’s cruel laughter. Emilia's featureless face. Puck’s giant paw crashing down from above, ending it all in a blizzard of despair.

It hurts.
His forearm split open, blood running hot down his skin. A dagger drove through his palm, a spike of agony that lit up every nerve in his body.

It’s painful.
Both legs shattered, bone jutting out at sickening angles after the fall from the third floor.

It’s cold.
The world around him turned to snow, freezing his broken body in an unmerciful storm.

I don’t want to die.
His bowels split open, his knuckles cracked against the floor, his own intestines spilling out onto the ground.

I don’t want to die.
A blade pushed through his chest, piercing his heart and everything in its path.

'I don’t want to die. It’s cold. It hurts. I don’t want to die. It’s painful. I don’t want to die. It’s cold. It hurts. I don’t want to die. It’s painful. I don’t want to die. It’s cold. It hurts. I don’t want to die. It’s painful. I don’t want to die. It’s cold. It hurts. I don’t want to die. It’s painful. I don’t want to die. It’s cold. It hurts. I don’t want to die. It’s painful. I don’t want to die. It’s cold. It hurts. I don’t want to die. It’s painful. I don’t want to die. It’s cold. It hurts. I don’t want to die. It’s painful.'

Memories flood his mind — a world that could have been.

Him being mauled by mabeast, Him having his head crushed by a morning star, Him having his throat slit with magic, Him getting stabbed, Him getting beaten, Him freezing to death, Him being possessed, Him getting beheaded, Him jumping off a cliff, Him stabbing himself with a sword, Him having his bowel cut, Him being eaten by rabbits–

Ah... that's it, isn't it?

Natsuki Subaru must die. Over and over and over and over and over again. Without stopping, Without reasoning

My stars... Is truly the worst

Grim thoughts filled his head

Everything. All of it. For what purpose? Why move forward? Why not stop? Why not give up? Dies. One more, just one more. If he can end himself one more time, If he gives up, beg Satella to stop–

Maybe. Maybe all of this, could finally end.

Or he could stay.

He could stay. Right here. Right now. Trapped in this moment. Four days, over and over again. Endlessly.

He could do whatever he wanted.

Ask for a reward from Roswaal. Anything — she would give him anything. The most delicious food in the world. The best foot massage in the kingdom. The sweetest song. The greatest performance. Every piece of knowledge. Every sensation. Within those four days, he could have it all.

How many things will I learn?

And at the end, he would come back.

How many times will I say goodbye?

Right at the start.

His very own, endless paradise.

His eyes began to close. Sleep pressed down on him like lead. It felt as if he hadn’t slept in days. He was tired. So… tired.

Why now? Why wake up at all? What happens if he doesn’t? He’ll die, and wake up here again.

Nothing changes anyway.

Yes. Nothing changes. Nothing he does matters. He could sleep. He could eat. He could punch Roswaal. He could kill Puck. He could kiss Emilia. He could play with Beatrice. He could torture the maids. He could torture Emilia. He could torture Roswaal.

He could do anything.

And none of it would matter.

He’ll be here. Always. Always.

For now. Sleep. Just sleep. Be patient.

Is there a chance this could all resolve on its own? Maybe. In the face of infinity, nothing is absolute. Maybe Capella dies on the way here. Maybe they all suddenly have a heart attack. It’s random. The chances are slim. But not zero.

And if it’s not zero… then it will happen. Eventually. Billions and billions of loops from now.

Just… be patient. And enjoy your stay for the time being. Nothing you do matters anyway. Just wait it out.

Call of the Witch starts playing.

Ah… that’s right. I still have that as my ringtone.

Why is his phone ringing?
It didn’t ring last time.
Or… at least, not as far as he remembers.

#We tried calling you last night, but you didn’t answer. Why is that?#

Right. They tried to call me around this time, but I left my phone behind so I didn’t answer.

My parents… I wonder what they’d think of me if they saw me right now?

A part of him wanted to leave the call alone. Again, it’s not like it would matter. Four days from now, they would call again and say exactly the same thing, so why bother?

But another part of him… missed his parents.

With a groan, he pushed himself upright. Laziness weighed down each movement as he leaned over, hand stretching toward the phone resting on the cabinet beside his bed. His fingers hesitated, hovering over the screen, torn between ending the call or finally accepting it.

The room was quiet. No more synchronized banter from the maids—he guessed they must’ve left already.

He finally pressed the green icon.

“Hel—”

#SUBARU!!!# His parents’ voices erupted from the speaker before he could even finish.

#Oh god, are you okay?! Is Elsa gone?! Did she get your stomach?! What happened?!# They hurled questions at him, one after another, not giving him a single chance to respond.

#Wait! Put us on video call! I need to check if you’re okay!# his mother demanded, already switching over.

The screen flickered, and in an instant their faces filled the display.

#Subaru! Oh, I’m so glad you’re—# Her words faltered. She froze the moment she noticed his dark circles, the exhaustion carved into his expression, the hollow smile that carried none of its usual brightness.

He tried to laugh, to smile, to ease their worry. But no matter how he forced it, that pained expression refused to leave his face.

#Subaru...# His mother’s voice trembled. She knew that look. She had seen it before—in that show. #Are you... okay? Did you—?#

The boy didn’t speak. He only gave a small, weary nod.

Her hands flew to her mouth as the truth struck her, tears welling in her eyes.

#Subaru, what happened?# his father asked, his voice heavy with dread. Seeing their son wear that expression tore at his heart.

Subaru lingered on the question far longer than he should have.
What happened?
What the hell did happen?
Nothing—at least, nothing anyone else could ever know.

Ah, screw it.
He decided he’d just be honest with them.

But then… what if they were listening?

They might be listening.
They had an invisible assassin, after all—who’s to say that thing, man or woman or whatever it was, wasn’t here right now, watching him, listening to every word?

Should he just… treat this like another dead loop?

Yes. That’s right.
Why should he care if they were listening? He could say whatever he wanted. They’d still attack anyway.

“Capella… is here.”
He finally forced the words out, his voice low, almost trembling.

“I don’t… know. I don’t know what’s happening anymore.”
His eyes squeezed shut as the memories of countless loops clawed their way back in. The pain he’d felt lingered like a phantom, a ghost pressing against his ribs.

“I thought it was just Meili. But then… Capella showed up, and I’m back.

I thought she’d only attack on day four. But then Elsa showed up, and I’m back.

And then I thought she was alone. But it turns out another one is here—
and I’m back again.”

His voice cracked as he spoke. Each admission felt like it scraped at his throat.

“It’s just… I don’t know what to do anymore.”
He poured his heart out to his parents, ignoring the unseen taboo that always loomed over him.

And yet, nothing happened. No shadowy hands. No suffocating grip.
Nothing.

For the first time, the Witch of Envy stayed silent.
A single, fragile ray of mercy slipped through for his soul.

His parents listened in silence, their faces pale. They didn’t interrupt, didn’t question — they understood the weight hidden in his words.

Their son had died. Not once. Not twice. But at least three separate times.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen anymore,” Subaru muttered, his voice a low, cracked rasp. “My one defining ability is useless now. Who decided to AU this shit anyway?”

Return by Death — it was supposed to be an overwhelmingly powerful ability. But in his scenario, Knowing the future before it happened just by scrolling some websites on his phone is much better.

But now? Useless.

“How many times do I have to die to end this arc, I wonder?” he mumbled, mostly to himself. But it slipped out loud enough for his parents to hear.

#Subaru...# his parents’ voices bled through the speaker, low and trembling.

The boy glanced down at his phone, catching the deeply worried expressions on his parents’ faces.

“A-ah? Oh, sorry. I was just… talking to myself,” he said quickly, forcing a light tone. “It’s okay though! I mean, I’ll figure a way out of this. Eventually.”

He tried to smile — wide, cheerful, reassuring — but it sat crooked on his face, the brightness hollow. His parents could see straight through it.

“I mean… it’s just Capella. How hard could this be?” he added, chuckling weakly.

Smile. As long as you can smile. Then everything will be okay.

“I’ll figure it out! Eventually.”
How long is this eventually?

“I have so many allies here, I’m sure I can come up with something.”
The same allies who hate your guts, crippled, contractually nerfed, have no idea how to use their power… and is waiting for someone who will never come?

If Roswaal of all people is your best ally, then you should already know how screwed you are.

“No matter what, I will win.”
Not like you have much of a choice. You literally cannot lose.

You will suffer, you will die, you will be tortured. The only thing you will not do is lose.

And sometimes… that’s the curse.

Being unable to give up. No matter how terrifying the situation is.

Dark thoughts swirled in his mind while his lips kept curving into a smile, explaining to his parents how he’d “figure it out.” But the weight on his shoulders was a mountain,

And it was already crushing him.

The Natsuki household’s worst nightmare had come to pass.

Their son was now walking a path they could never follow — a journey where no one could reach.

Years ago, a question had shaken their hearts more than any other. They’d forgotten the exact words, but the meaning still lingered:

[When Natsuki Subaru begins his journey… what happens to his parents?]

They had always hoped — prayed, even — that by some miracle, time wouldn’t move for them.
That their world would simply pause.
That their son would return home at the end of his story to the same warm house, to the same smiling faces.

It was selfish. But could anyone truly blame them?

But that was not the case.

[When Subaru was transported to another world… time moved on as normal.

He never came back from the grocery store. His parents waited, at first with confusion, then with growing panic.

Days turned to weeks. Weeks into months. And still, no sign of him.

It was as if he had simply vanished from the face of the earth.

No one had seen anything. No one knew anything.
Eventually, the police gave up—writing him off as another missing person case and telling his parents to move on.]

But… how could they?

Their son was gone.
Their pride and joy. Their one and only child. Their love, their heart, their happiness their future, their baby boy.

How could they ever move on from that?

[If Natsuki Subaru had never been transported, what would have happened to him?] Another question was posed to the author.

The only good thing that came out of his isekai situation was his growth as a person. He let go of his shut-in lifestyle and became a respectable young man — someone his parents could truly be proud of.

[If he had never been transported, his parents would have eventually broken him out of his habits. He would have gone back to school, graduated like a normal student, earned a degree, and maybe even married someone a bit like Rem.]

But that condition was never really necessary for his growth in the first place.

They needed him. He didn’t need them. All they could do was wait—wait in uncertainty, sinking deeper into depression as they hoped their son would someday return.

But this time, fate gave them a better deal than before.

Their son still had his phone — and somehow, it had become magic. They never questioned how or why. All that mattered was that it worked, even across dimensions.

They thought they could help. That maybe, somehow, they could ease their son’s pain. To become a small anchor of familiarity, a voice from home, a reason for him to keep fighting.

And now, here they were — watching their son through the glowing screen, laughing and smiling as if everything were fine. Hiding a mountain of burdens behind that smile, just so they wouldn’t have to worry.

What could they do? How could they help him? Calm him? Tell him everything would be okay? Give him some motivational speech?

No.

“Capella Emerada Lugunica,” Natsuki Naoko said suddenly. “The Sin Archbishop of Lust. She has the ability to turn herself—and anyone she touches—into any biological form you can imagine.

She can use that transformation to heal from any kind of wound, making almost all damage meaningless.”

Naoko leaned closer to the screen, her tone sharpening.

“However… that makes her arrogant. She’ll take hits she could easily dodge because she knows she can just heal. Her speed is questionable too—I don’t believe she’s faster than Elsa unless she changes her legs into something made for speed.

That means your best chance is a single, decisive strike. A one-hit attack strong enough to overwhelm her regeneration. And since she tends to underestimate anything that looks weak, if you can hide your true intent, she won’t even try to dodge.”

She finished her lecture, leaving her son staring back through the screen—utterly confused.

“What about a soul-based attack? People with regenerative powers are usually weak to those,” his father suddenly chimed in.

“Soul damage isn’t really a thing in Re:Zero though,” the mother responded.

“Reid can do it.”

“No—he cuts concepts. Which, yes, also includes soul damage, but he’s on the tower, and there’s no one who knows how to do that in Roswaal’s mansion.”

“What about freezing her? Puck is there, right?”

“Puck’s unreliable. And there’s no guarantee she’d die even if you froze her. Our best bet is fire magic.”

“Or Yin. Beako’s there, and Subaru also has Yin affinity, right?”

The two parents continued their discussion, strategizing and theorizing while their son sat there—utterly lost and confused.

#Wait, wait, wait—hold on, stop!# Subaru finally interrupted, raising his voice enough to cut through their rapid-fire discussion. #What are you two even doing?#

His parents glanced at each other before turning back to the screen with calm, matter-of-fact expressions.

“We’re listing possible ways to kill her,” his mother said plainly.
“Obviously,” his father added, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

#Plan? Wait, hold on—you don’t even know what I’m actually dealing with!# Subaru threw up his hands in disbelief, trying to make them understand that this wasn’t something they could solve through guesswork.

“Of course we don’t,” his dad admitted easily, though the faint glint in his eyes said otherwise.

#Then—#

“But you do,” his mom interrupted, her tone soft but sure. A small, knowing smile curved her lips as she watched her son from the screen.

“We don’t know the full picture,” Kenichi admitted, his tone calm but steady. “But we can offer advice—based on whatever scraps of knowledge we have.”

“Your mom spent all of yesterday watching and reading everything she could,” his father added. “She wanted to understand that world—the one you’re trapped in—as best as she could.”

His mother gave a small, sheepish laugh. “I might not know everything yet, but I’m learning fast.”

“And while I’m not exactly an expert in that world’s magic system,” his father continued with a proud grin, “I have watched my fair share of anime. Power systems tend to follow certain clichés, right? It’s all patterns once you recognize them.”

He leaned forward slightly, eyes sharp with focus. “So here’s the deal—we’ll give you ideas, you tell us why they won’t work, and we’ll come up with something new. It doesn’t matter if it takes hours or days. We’ll keep going.”

His mother nodded firmly. “We’ll ask the internet, our friends, even the neighbors if we have to.”

#It might not be enough. But we’ll do the best we can.#

The screen showed their faces—tired, worried, but filled with a kind of fierce, unshakable determination.

They didn’t understand. No one did.

The mountain he faced wasn’t something that could be climbed with willpower alone.

This wasn’t a crossword puzzle you could solve with patience or logic.

You couldn’t beat this with plans. You couldn’t think your way out of hell.

And yet…

Looking at his parents through the screen, seeing the unwavering belief shining in their eyes—he felt something stir within him. Even knowing what he was up against, they still believed in him. They believed he could overcome anything.

Not a single speck of doubt clouded their faces.

Tears welled in his eyes before he even realized it. His chest ached, swelling with warmth and pain all at once—an unbearable mix of love and guilt and gratitude. Their faith in him was so strong it almost hurt.

From that moment, a spark ignited in his heart—small, fragile, but real.
A single ray of hope.

"Life exists.
If there is life, there will be a future.
If there is a future, there is hope.
If there is hope, there is a chance.
And if there is a chance… you can still save someone."

A quiet laugh escaped him, trembling and wet. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he chuckled at the absurdity of it all—at himself, at the situation.

Who would’ve thought that Roswaal of all people would end up giving him a motivational speech to keep going?

'Isn’t that right?'

But… yeah. Maybe she was right.

#Subaru# Seeing their son suddenly break into tears, his parents froze—unsure if they’d said something wrong.

“Aha—sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just… I can’t believe I was so stupid,” the boy laughed at himself, voice trembling between relief and exhaustion. He wiped the tears from his cheeks, forcing his breathing to steady.

When he finally opened his eyes again, there was a light—small but unwavering—burning behind them. He looked at the screen, at his parents’ worried faces, and smiled.

For the first time in what felt like forever,

Natsuki Subaru had found his resolve once again.

A young man walked through the long hallways of the mansion, his steps fast but steady. With a heart full of determination, he marched toward his destination.

“The first problem was Elsa and the invisible assassin. We don’t have a sensor type here so, how could we even find them?”

#Can’t Beako sense anyone inside the mansion?#

#She could! But then how did Elsa sneak up on her in season 2?#

“She was probably distracted. I was talking to her, right?”

#Right. Then what about your previous loops? How did she not notice them?#

“The first one—she probably did notice them. That explosion from before was probably her.

But on the third one... can the invisible assassin bypass her detection?”

#I don’t think so. If they could, they would’ve struck much sooner in the first one.#

“I thought so. But then... what? Did my temper tantrum distract her?”

#Probably.#

He groaned, resisting the urge to bury his face in embarrassment.

#First part of the plan: Gain allies.#

The boy burst into the dining room with a force that sent the massive doors slamming against the walls.

The maids tensed at the sudden intrusion. Emilia flinched slightly, Puck blinked at him with half-lidded, sleepy eyes, and Beako froze mid-play, still holding him in her tiny arms.

From behind the table, he couldn’t see the noble lady’s face—but he was certain she was smiling.

“Natsuki Subaru!” Hands on his hips, one finger raised high in that classic, overly dramatic pose. "Is here!"

He swung his finger down, pointing directly at the residents of the mansion, a wide grin spreading across his face.

“We’re going on a war!”