Chapter Text
It’s almost 1pm. Amelia checks her phone as she stands in her bathroom doorway, leaning against the frame.
No new messages.
She glances up at Scout, who’s brushing his teeth by the sink. He watches himself in the mirror, and his toothbrush stops in his mouth every few seconds. She looks at him and all she can see now is Link.
The screen of her phone lights up.
Monica.
She’ll be here in half an hour.
Amelia looks back at Scout. He’s finishing rinsing his mouth. She grabs a towel and hands it to him.
He doesn’t say much. It’s been a little too quiet these past few days.
But Amelia isn’t making it lighter either. She’s come to a point when she doesn’t quite know how. And she knows Scout needs her. She’s trying her best and she hopes one day she can explain that to him.
He asks about him during bedtime. He asks if they can call him to say goodnight. His tears break Amelia’s heart.
They walk to the bedroom, where their clothes are already set out on the bed.
Not letting go of his favorite toy, he gets dressed with Amelia’s help.
Soon, the doorbell announces Monica’s arrival.
Scout goes to sit on the couch while Amelia answers the door.
“Hi.”
Amelia’s sad smile doesn’t last long. She wants to tell Monica she’s sorry she’s not capable of giving her more, but she doesn’t have enough strength to do so.
Without the need to ask, Monica wraps her arms around Amelia’s neck, pulling her into a slow and comforting hug.
“Please… I can’t cry in front of him,” Amelia whispers into Monica’s ear.
It’s not that she doesn’t want Monica near. She does. Oh, how much she does. But if she lets herself be held…
The woman immediately understands – she pulls away and gives Amelia a knowing look.
“Come in.”
Monica approaches Scout. She tries talking to him, but he still keeps quiet. Amelia wonders – is this how it will be? Did this break him? How can life be so cruel?
Amelia asks Monica to wait with him while she gets dressed. They need to leave soon.
Everyone’s at the funeral. So many people from the hospital. His parents. They offer to take the kids on a trip for a few days.
The twins are still in the NICU – Monica says they’re doing well given the circumstances.
There’s Jo. Levi is by her side with Luna. Then Link’s parents. Amelia and Scout are on the other side. Monica stands behind her.
When they start lowering the coffin, Amelia reaches behind her for Monica’s hand, which she holds for the rest of the service.
Teddy and Bailey have organized a wake for the closest family and friends.
Everyone shares their favorite story.
They laugh through the tears. But it’s still bittersweet.
The drive home is silent. The quiet stops bothering Amelia. She peeks in the back seat at Scout, who’s fallen asleep.
It’s completely dark outside now.
Amelia carries Scout upstairs while Monica helps with the rest.
He wakes up briefly as she gets him into his PJs.
Amelia returns to the kitchen to find Monica standing by the counter. She stops by the kitchen aisle.
“Thank you for today.”
“Of course. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Monica’s piercing eyes break something in Amelia, but she still feels the need to hold it together. Monica steps closer, her arms ready to catch her, but Amelia backs away.
“Don’t… don’t hold me or I will fall apart.”
Monica grabs her by the hand, pulls her in and whispers in her ear, “then fall apart.”
And she does.
All the things she’s been holding back these past days roll down her cheeks in salt-filled tears.
With her face buried in Monica’s chest, Amelia weeps quietly.
When she looks up, their eyes lock and the world stops. Amelia slowly moves her head closer.
And closer.
And closer.
Their eyes stay shut after their next blink.
Amelia can feel the warmth of Monica’s lips against hers.
“Amelia,” Monica moves her head to the side.
They’re just a breath away.
Amelia cups Monica’s cheek, gently turning her face back to her.
Their lips press together so gently – Amelia feels the taste of salt from her own tears on Monica’s.
Suddenly, it’s cold.
Monica removes herself and steps back.
Amelia realizes what she’s almost done. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“We-”
“I’m,” Amelia wipes her eyes, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. We just- You’re-”
“You should go.”
“Amelia, it’s not wha-”
“Please.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
Monica embraces Amelia one last time.
Kisses her forehead.
It lasts longer than expected. She then sees herself out.
And Amelia breaks down.