Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The alpha who steps out of the transport isn’t anything like Ghost expected. “Let’s get ourselves a win, yeah, L.t.? Save ya a seat, sir.” And then he walks away with a punch to Ghost’s shoulder.

Sure, he’s a bit cocky and all smiles. But he also punched The Ghost in the shoulder and promised to save him a seat like he was a dear old friend.

It was…different. “Fucking hell.”

His comms crackle and the ever grating voice of General Shepherd cuts through his thoughts. “Ghost - you copy?”

“Yessir.”

“Any issues?”

He isn’t sure if this sergeant is a good or a bad different…yet. “Negative, sir. Out here.”

Ghost turns toward the helo and makes his way up the ramp. Hopefully this mission will show him if this new alpha sergeant is someone who’s cocky and friendly with The Ghost because he’s earned the right to be cocky and is actually just genuinely friendly. Or if he’s one of those knothead alphas who are cocky in that they think only with their cocks and are actually so incredibly grating to be around and who are generally the shittiest people around.

Though, considering Soap is supposed to be the new permanent sergeant in the 141, and knowing how particular Price is about new people on the team (mostly for Ghost’s own sake), it will be the former. But, for now, time will tell.

Ghost ensures everyone has their orders and then he and Soap deploy with Bravo Team. 

The mission goes to shit immediately as their helo is shot down before the Alpha Team can even deploy. But surprisingly, Soap only makes a quick comment about needing to secure the crash site first, that he discards immediately when Ghost tells him that they need to clear the mission’s objective before securing the crash site. And he keeps up remarkably well. Which, of course, he’d expect nothing less from someone Price wanted on the 141, but it’s still good to know that he’s really earned the consideration from Price.

Ghost knows he won’t be able to remember a single damn thing that happened on that mission, besides the obvious “It went to shit” because all he could focus on was the way the sergeant kept in pace with him, always right on his six, almost anticipating his next moves. Almost like they were reading each other’s minds or something. He’s never had anyone quite so in tune with the way he conducts missions or anything, let alone be able to stay so in tune with him not even a few hours after their first meeting. Selfishly, a part of him hopes that this will continue to be true and Soap will manage to keep up with him like this on every mission.

Back at the Vaquero's base, Ghost spends the next few hours trying to hide from everyone else. He hasn't had to fight his inner omega like this for years. The urge to nest has settled into his bones in a way it never has before in his life. And for the life of him, he cannot understand why.

But then there's a knock on the door of the quarters he was so graciously given.

He makes no move to get up from where he's lying in bed trying to convince himself he doesn't need to build a nest  here of all places. Then there's a quiet "Ghost?" from the other side of the door.

Ghost sighs. Of course it would be the one person Ghost is trying to hide from. He entertains the thought of ignoring the alpha for a brief moment before there's another knock on the door and a quiet "I know you're in there L.t."

He wants to ignore the sergeant so badly, but he's always prided himself on being a good lieutenant. And a good fair lieutenant has to admit when they have no real reason to ignore one of their soldiers during their little downtime.

So he hefts himself off the bed and moves over to open the door.

The alpha stands with a tray of food in his hands. There is definitely more food on the tray than one person could eat themself, even soldiers as big as they are. 

"Brought us dinner. Figured we could maybe eat in here instead of in the mess. If that's ok? You didn't come out for lunch earlier so don't even think about at least taking it to eat. If you want me to leave, I will, but I thought that maybe we could get to know each other a little better if we've going to be on the 141 together from now on? Figured I could eat on the other side of the bed with our backs to each other so you don't have to worry about me seeing your face? "

Ghost grunts, not trusting his voice. No one's ever been so fucking thoughtful before. And a part of him wails at the idea that he might be able to eat with someone for the first time in years without having to worry about them staring at his face or the loudness of the mess. Maybe this alpha isn't so bad after all. He hasn't mentioned anything about Ghost's subgender yet and really does seem like all he came here to do was to eat with Ghost and make sure Ghost was eating at all.

Ghost's omega screams at him internally about the nice alpha bringing him food and genuinely checking in on him.

He can't find it in himself to say no to Johnny though. So they eat their meals, back to back on the bed, Johnny talking the entire time about something or other. And for the first time in a very long time, Ghost finds himself enjoying the company of another. Like truly, properly enjoying their company.

Then Graves and the Shadows betray them.

Ghost knows that Johnny (when the fuck did he become Johnny ?) was shot at some point, so by the time he makes it to the church, he doesn’t expect anything but static from his radio. He chooses to not dwell on the thought that Johnny died somewhere on the streets, left to rot in the rain. His omega howls inside him at the thought for reasons he doesn't want to examine too closely. He still picks up the radio and prays somewhere deep in his heart that he gets an answer before he presses the button and calls out for a sitrep.

And by some fucking miracle , the alpha answers. To his dying day, Ghost will deny the breath of relief he let out when he heard the alpha respond after several long moments of silence.

He isn't sure what possesses him as he proceeds to lead Johnny through the rainy streets of Las Almas to the church only a few days after meeting the other man. 

The car is disturbingly quiet as Ghost drives away from Las Almas. It's only been a few days since he met the younger alpha, but Ghost already knows that the man likes to talk when he can. He shows admirable restraint on missions and knows when to shut up, but still. Johnny likes to talk and the silent car grates on Ghost. His omega howls inside him, so when they're finally far enough away by Ghost's estimate, he pulls over.

Johnny stares at him with something akin to awe and reverence as Ghost opens the passenger door. Ghost keeps it as tactical as he can. He tells himself that he's only going as slow as he is to make sure he addresses the wound properly. It's definitely not so Ghost can have the feeling of warm skin against his just a moment longer. And it's most certainly not so he can try to calm his omega with the rationalization that Johnny will smell like him more if he takes a little longer to dress the wound.

Neither of them say a word as Ghost uses what he has to at least make sure the sergeant doesn't bleed out on him.

When he finishes and gets back into the driver's seat, something itches at him, feels unfinished. Ghost pauses for half a second before he realizes what's wrong. Before he can think about it too much, he reaches across the center console and gently rubs his still bare hand and wrist across the back of Johnny's neck.

Ghost can feel the other man staring at him, but he can't smell him due to the scent patches and for that, Ghost is eternally grateful. Johnny doesn't say anything either. So Ghost moves on, putting the car back in gear to continue on to Alejandro's safe house. It's the first time he's willingly scented anyone in over a decade. He tries to ignore the way his heart and omega soften at the soft, tired, trusting eyes that stare at him as he scents the alpha.

In the few short days that he's known the other man, Johnny has not been quiet when he hasn't needed to be. It's very disconcerting to be sitting in silence as they make their way to the safe house. Ghost’s omega rears its head in a way it never has as they get closer and closer to the safe house. He wants nothing more than to make some sad, sorry excuse for a nest around Johnny and keep him safe and warm and protect him. And fuck, maybe he needs to get Price to give him a weekend off because it’s clearly been too long since he’s seen his family, if he’s thinking about how well Johnny would fit in with his mum and Tommy and Beth and maybe Joseph would call him Uncle Johnny and-. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. He can’t afford to be so fucking distracted right now.

By the time they make it to the safe house, Johnny seems to have woken up from the impromptu nap he took in the car and for that Ghost is grateful. As they step out of the car, Ghost takes a deep breath and tucks all his omegan instincts away in the recesses of his mind, along with all his other feelings. He cannot afford to be distracted right now.

The next time his instincts rear their head is several days later, in Chicago. The few days between the rainy night in Las Almas and Chicago are a total blur and he will be hard pressed to remember everything for debrief and his reports later. But for now, all that matters is Johnny. “ Johnny ” is the only thought running through his head as he takes the stairs down two at a time from whatever the fuck floor he was on. By the time he reaches the ground, his chest is heaving from running down at least fifty flights of stairs. And yet, he’s still fighting the omegan whine that he can feel building deep in his chest.

It’s not until he makes it past the barricade at the bottom of the other skyscraper and finds Johnny that his omega finally lets him breathe again. The alpha is being tended to by the medics, but he still catches Ghost’s eyes and gives him an exhausted smile. (God, his mum would love Johnny.) Ghost can’t help his smile under the mask as he gives the alpha a little nod.

He tells himself that he's only hovering behind the medics out of a sense of responsibility. Johnny is supposed to be his sergeant, after all. Deep down though, Ghost's omega was delighting at the thought that he might be able to take care of the alpha. But Ghost ignores his heart and tells himself that he's only paying such close attention to what they're telling Johnny so that he can be a good lieutenant and make sure that his men are taking proper care of themselves and their injuries.

It's not until he's half-drunk, with an arm around Johnny's waist, guiding him back to their hotel room after a round of celebratory drinks, that Ghost allows himself to consider the possibility that he's growing attached, maybe even falling in love, with this pretty, handsome, sweet alpha who treats him like he's just another person.

But like most things in his life over the past decade, Ghost forces himself to ignore those thoughts as he changes and gets in bed for the night.

By the time they get back to base in England, Price has already told them that, under no uncertain circumstances, they all have to take a month and a half of leave while they all heal up. Usually, Ghost would bitch and moan about it and fight Price. But this time, he really can't disagree.

Instead, he plans.

By the time they're touching back down on base, Ghost is ready and he's the first one off the plane. He beelines to his quarters, where he always keeps a duffel half packed, just in case. Less than 5 minutes after he unlocks his door, Ghost is out in the hallway, relocking his door. Less than 2 minutes later, he stands in front of Johnny's quarters, knocking on the door.

Johnny opens the door with his own duffel in his hand. He hasn't even started to pack yet, but he steps aside to let Ghost in all the same. A gesture at the bed later and Ghost is sitting on Johnny's bed as Johnny putters around, packing the things he wants and needs for their leave.

A short while later, Johnny zips up his bag and stares at it where it sits on his bed. A deep breath and he moves to pick it up. Ghost finally moves. Just puts his hand over the strap of the bag, preventing Johnny from actually picking it up.

Johnny looks at him, bewildered.

"You shouldn't be carrying anything right now, sergeant." Ghost stands up and picks up the bag. "I know what the medics told you, so you're going to let me carry this for you while you book us train tickets to wherever your flat is."

Johnny's eyes bug out at that and he starts to protest. Ghost holds up a hand to stop him. "This is nonnegotiable, Johnny. The medics told you that you needed help and I'm sure - from personal experience - you're going to need it with that shoulder. And I don't think you want your or my family involved, so your flat it is then. Unless you want me to drag you to my mum's house. Because I will, don't try me. It's either me and you in your flat or both of us at my mum's house. Pick one."

"I uh - what?" Johnny manages, blinking confusedly.

"You said you weren't that close with your family, so I won't make you choose them, but you are going to choose either you and me or the both of us and my mum. And either way, you will be letting me help you so you don't hurt your arm even more."

The alpha sighs. "Alright fine, my place then." He fixes Ghost with a glare. "You better not fuckin' say anything about my flat, though. "

"Of course not, wouldn't dream of it, Johnny."

The train ride to Johnny's flat is quiet. Neither of them really have anything to say.

A quick stop at the store for a few necessities later, and Johnny's unlocking his door for his new lieutenant.

It's nothing big or grand and he doesn't really have any decorations. But he needed somewhere to stay when he wasn't allowed on base. And it's not like he's home very often. Sure, all he has besides his bed is a shitty old couch and a little spot to take off your shoes at the front door, but that's fine, right? He's fine. He totally knows how to exist outside of the military.

Ghost is surprisingly decent though, and he really doesn't say a word. Just like he promised.

In fact, Ghost doesn't really say a word until Johnny reaches for the plates he has up in his cabinet. "Johnny, let me get those."

The taller omega comes up behind him and gently moves him out of the way before reaching up to grab the plates for them. Johnny makes a disgruntled noise and Ghost huffs in amusement. "Don't need you to fuck up that shoulder any more than it already is, sergeant. Especially not even one day into leave."

Johnny doesn't say another word. His alpha screams at him he should be able to take care of the omega in his home. Especially one that he may or may not already have a crush on, who is his superior officer and who is being kind enough to come on leave with him and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself any more.

Dinner is a quiet affair. The alpha doesn't trust himself to speak yet, unused to having someone around to look after him like Ghost is. And the omega doesn't want to intrude too much, so he keeps quiet while they eat.

It really is a testament to how poorly Johnny is feeling after everything that it takes him until Ghost is pushing him out of the way to do their dishes that he remembers. He only has one bed.

"Ghost?" Johnny hates the way he sounds almost hesitant instead of his normal confident self.

"Yeah, Johnny?"

The alpha hesitates a moment, worried he might incur Ghost's wrath. "I-uh, I might've forgotten that uh- well, you see -"

He has Ghost's full attention now and he looks away, so he doesn't have to see the inevitable rage.

"Well, spit it out then sergeant."

The words tumble out of him at the order. " There's - I only have one bed, sir."

Ghost hums. Johnny waits for the inevitable anger and yelling at him for forgetting a vital piece of information.

But it doesn't come.

Johnny's throat feels like it's closing. Ghost moves closer. Johnny closes his eyes. Surely this is it. He's about to be murdered by the Ghost.

A soft "Johnny" sounds far too close to his face. And then warm hands are taking his, gently prying his fists open from where he has them clenched at his sides. "Johnny, breathe. It's fine."

He tries to fight the whine that clogs his throat at the faint scent of distressed omega. "Johnny, you need to breathe. I promise it's fine, either I will sleep on the couch or floor, or we can share. It's not the end of the world to me. We've both had worse, yeah?"

Johnny manages a small nod, embarrassed at his pitiful display. This is his new lieutenant and he's already having a breakdown in front of him.

"Good," the omega murmurs. "Then let's get you showered and ready for bed, yeah? You alright to shower yourself, Johnny?”

Johnny nods. 

"Off you go then."

By the time they have both showered and are ready to go to bed, Johnny still hasn't really processed the fact that he is going to be sleeping in the same bed as his lieutenant. And Ghost is right. Both of them have definitely had much worse than having to share a half decent bed with someone they trust implicitly to have their backs, if Las Almas was anything to go by.

Johnny fiddles with his sheets as Ghost does whatever it is Ghost does before bed. And he appears in the doorway of Johnny's room just as Johnny is thinking of the omega. A moment passes as Ghost stands in the doorway, almost like he's waiting for permission to enter the room. 

Johnny clears his throat. "Ah, sorry, I didn't - did ye want to nest, Ghost? Sorry, shoulda asked earlier, but I forgot. Wasn't sure if it's something you like to do, especially on leave. Don't want ye bein’ super uncomfortable because I'm stupid and got myself injured."

Ghost huffs and pulls off his mask. Johnny quickly averts his eyes as the omega's scent permeates the room. "You can look, Johnny," the omega says as he moves closer. "You’ve seen it before. Don't mind if it's you lookin'."

The alpha's breath hitches.

There's no way Ghost meant that. Right?

Johnny twists his hands as Ghost stops next to the bed. Ghost makes a small noise in the back of his throat. And he's smiling when Johnny looks over at him. God, he would do anything to see that smile, it made him look soft and sweet and radiant. Fucking lit the entire room with light and warmth. "Meant it, Johnny. And we've not on duty right now, call me Simon."

This is it. This is how Johnny dies, Ghost telling him he trusts Johnny enough for him to be comfortable with Johnny seeing his face. But more importantly, Ghost telling him to call him Simon ? He's so fucked. Simon fits the omega so fucking well. Pretty name for a pretty man.

There's another soft sound to his right. Johnny blinks and looks over at Gh- Simon . Simon is smiling at him still, something unidentifiable in his eyes. "You have to get off the bed, if I'm going to build us a nest, Johnny."

“Oh, right,” he says dumbly. “I’ll just- go find something else to do then.” Johnny leaves his own bedroom hastily, embarrassed and not wanting Simon to feel like he’s being watched.

A bit later, Johnny stands in the kitchen with a glass of water. He’s startled to hear a voice behind him. “Are you going to come back to bed, Johnny?”

“Steamin’ fuckin’ Jesus, why the fuck’d ya sneak up on me like that? Yeah alright I’ll come back to bed.”

Johnny sets the glass back down on the counter and follows Simon back into the bedroom. And promptly stops in his tracks. He wasn’t aware that he had enough bedding for the nest Simon had managed to put together, that looked big enough for the both of them. Though it does look like there are some things that he might have liberated from their duffel bags as well.

But he’s still so surprised at what Simon managed to put together that he doesn’t even realise it when Simon starts pushing him closer to the bed and then into the nest.

Johnny blames it on the concussion when he starts tearing up at the feeling of Simon climbing into the nest behind him and then reaching over to pull him closer . But it’s been so fucking long since he’s been allowed in an omega’s nest, let alone treated so kindly , like someone cares . And he knows it’s a terrible idea to cry with a concussion, that it will just inevitably make his head ache even more, but he can’t fucking help the tears that slip from his eyes.

At some point, Johnny feels hands moving him, but the concussion and the tears make everything hazy and he can’t fathom why anyone would be touching and moving him. Let alone why they would be as kind and as gentle with him as they are.

Time grows fuzzy for a bit. Sometime later, though, Johnny wakes up again to a rumble under his ear. He’s nice and comfortable, and the noise lulls him back to sleep soon after.

The second time he wakes, the rumbling has stopped. He vaguely makes out a voice asking him questions that he mumbles answers too, already almost asleep again. He must answer the questions correctly though, because the rumbling starts up again and he sinks back into sleep.

The sun is peeking through the curtains when Johnny wakes again. Consciousness comes slowly. It takes several moments for him to realise that there was still a rumbling under his ear. And it takes several more for him to realise that the noise is Simon purring .

The revelation almost has him tearing up again. He never thought he’d hear an omega purring near him, let alone this close. Johnny blames it on the concussion that he starts fucking tearing up again .

They fall into a comfortable routine over the next few weeks.

But just like everything else in Johnny’s life, it all falls apart the week or so before they’re due back at base.

They wake up as they do every morning. But this is different. Johnny wakes up sweating . And if that wasn’t enough, he wakes up before Simon. Simon smells sweeter too.

Johnny holds his breath for a moment before he wiggles out of Simon’s hold and retreats to the kitchen. He refuses to make any assumptions about what Simon wants, even though they’ve been sleeping in the same bed cuddled up together every night. But his heart clenches at the thought of being unable to provide Simon any relief. He can’t bear the thought of actually doing the one thing he’s supposed to do, that he’s supposed to enjoy as an alpha.

He’s worked himself up so badly that he doesn’t even realise Simon coming up behind him again. “Johnny?”

Johnny turns around and promptly almost bursts into tears (why the fuck has this been a theme their entire leave?!). Simon’s hair is standing up and he’s still clearly half asleep, eyes drifting closed every few seconds. It’s nice, to see him so relaxed. 

“Are you coming back to bed, Johnny?” Simon asks quietly. “Pretty sure my body decided I needed to have a flash heat. And, uh, I’d like you to lay with me, if that’s alright? Nothin’ else, just, like havin’ someone else there.”

“I-” Johnny starts, voice trailing off. Words fail him, then, so he settles for a small nod. The smile Simon sends him before turning to lead the way back to their nest melts Johnny’s heart. And the smile he gets when he allows Simon to scent him before they get back in the nest is even softer and more ethereal and Johnny doesn’t think that he could fall anymore in love with this pretty omega who’s so kind and gentle with him.

The heat breaks in just a few days and they manage to bask in the last couple days before they have to go back.

The next several months are spent on mission after mission, learning how to work together seamlessly. It’s nonstop, back to back missions, as they hop from country to country. 

The longer they are out of the country, the more they work together, the more it feels like they’re standing at the precipice of something huge. 

Of course, it all comes to a head the day they finally make it back to Hereford. Or, well, the day after, really. Because after they debrief the next day, Simon stops Johnny. “On me, Johnny.”

And Johnny follows him, because of course he does. After everything the last few months, he would follow Simon to the edges of the universe and back. Because it feels right . 

They eventually come to a door that Simon unlocks before ushering Johnny inside. It’s immediately clear that this is the lieutenant’s room. Johnny stays in the middle of the room, unwilling to really touch anything for fear of upsetting the man.

Simon steps around Johnny to pick something up off his desk before turning to hand it to Johnny. “I know it’s not really…typical, but I know that you have a lot of…reservations about this kinda thing, so I figured I’d do it for us, but I noticed that you were almost at the end of your journal. Found this one back in Turkey, mission before last. Was hopin’ you’d accept it as a courting gift?”

Johnny’s lips part, but no sound comes out. He just stares at Simon.

Simon looks back down at the journal in his hands. “I- uh, you don’t have to say yes. I just- Sorta thought that you’d felt how well we mesh together in the field and I guess some part of me thought that you felt the way it was almost like we were at the edge of something life altering. Anyways, so-”

“Simon- I- You would want me ?”

“Course. Always been you, innit? From the fuckin’ second you punched my shoulder, if we’re being honest.”

This time, when Simon offers Johnny the journal, he takes it, reverently. Then he looks up at Simon. “Does that mean I’m allowed to scent you now?”

Simon huffs a little laugh, the corners of his mouth pulling up into a smile, “Yeah, Johnny, anything you want.”

It’s been a long time since Johnny’s been allowed to scent anyone, but he doesn’t let that stop him. He sets the journal aside before stepping into Simon’s space, wrapping his arms around Simon’s waist. He really doesn’t get any further than rubbing his cheek along Simon’s neck. Simon’s arms wrap around him and his wrists come up to gently move over the scent glands on his throat, though, and Johnny could die happy right here. If he could have this for the rest of his life, he would be the happiest person in the universe.

A few weeks later, they finally get two weeks of leave. 

Johnny is horrifically anxious in the few days leading up to it because he doesn’t know how to ask Simon if he wants to come to Johnny’s or if Johnny would be welcomed at Simon’s.

Turns out he doesn’t really need to worry though. The day before they’re scheduled to leave, Simon knocks on his door after dinner, duffel bag over his shoulder. Johnny lets him in and Simon isn’t even fully in the room yet as he pulls off his mask like usual when it’s just the two of them and starts talking. “Thought maybe we could start looking at flats together this time? I already have a list of some near yours that might be alright.”

“Simon what ?” 

Simon turns to look at him. “A flat, Johnny.” He tilts his head at Johnny. “I’m sorry, did you want to wait a bit to get to that? We can wait, I just thought- Nevermind.”

Johnny takes a deep breath. “No, Simon, it’s fine. I just- You surprised me, is all.”

To his credit, Simon does look incredibly apologetic. “I’m sorry, Johnny.” 

“It’s alright, Simon. I- uh- I did have something for you though.” 

Simon sits at the edge of Johnny’s bed and looks at him curiously.

Johnny picks the little gift bag up from the desk and deposits it in Simon’s lap. “Sorry it’s not all pretty like yours was, but I’m honestly shit at wrapping, so…” 

He trails off as Simon pulls out the tissue paper and Johnny’s gift. It’s a really nice, oversized hoodie that smells like Johnny when he pulls it out of the bag. The scent of happy omega rises in the room as Simon quietly pulls it on over his head. “This is really really nice Johnny. Thank you.”

Johnny smiles at him, relieved and so genuinely happy. “I’m glad you like it, Si.”

Simon beckons him closer and pulls him into a hug when he’s close enough. Johnny rests his cheek on Simon’s head and finally relaxes after the last two weeks of worry.

Flat hunting somehow goes even easier than either of them were expecting. 

They get back to Johnny’s flat and put their things away before immediately going out to check out a few that Simon had already had his eye on. None of them are anything too fancy, but they’re all nice, and cozy. 

Johnny remains relatively quiet and lets Simon do most of the talking. His anxiety is still a pit in his stomach, worrying when they’ll figure out he has no clue how to really be an adult.

But Simon asks him little things and listens when Johnny makes little comments to him. And Johnny’s heart could almost burst from affection.

By the time their leave is up, they manage to find a really nice flat that they agree on and they’ve actually signed a new lease. Price will absolutely kill them for this later, when they’re asking for the time off to actually move, but that’s a later them problem.

The first time they get real leave to go and stay in their new flat together is a couple months later. 

So of course, as soon as the day comes for them to leave for their week off, Johnny wakes up in pre-rut. His fangs ache something fierce the entire train ride to their flat. 

When they get there, Simon shooes Johnny off to take a shower while he makes dinner. 

No matter how much he wants to, Johnny doesn’t linger in the shower. His alpha can’t bear the thought of being too far away from Simon at the moment, no matter that he’s in the flat. 

Somehow, though, Simon is just finishing dinner when Johnny emerges from the bathroom. He smiles at Johnny fondly and Johnny’s heart aches with love for the omega. “Come eat, love. I’ll massage your fangs after.”

Johnny could cry from love. Of course Simon would notice. Of course he would know how to help. Johnny’s never really been able to massage his own fangs, it doesn’t feel right and usually he just ends up getting too frustrated to continue.

After dinner, Simon ushers Johnny into their room and tells him to wait just a moment as he incorporates some of the clothes they brought home with them into their nest so it smells fresher. 

Then he’s bullying Johnny into the nest and forcing him to lay down with his head in Simon’s lap. Johnny floats as Simon slips his thumbs into Johnny’s mouth and starts gently rubbing at the base of his fangs. It’s utterly euphoric. Johnny has never felt this calm and relaxed right before his rut hits like this. Quietly, Simon asks him, “You want me to do the same thing you did for my heat a few months ago, Johnny?”

Johnny takes several moments to actually process the question before he slowly nods as best he can with Simon’s thumbs in his mouth.

Simon smiles down at him, eyes crinkling the way Johnny fucking adores, wishes he could immortalise, and continues his ministrations for some indeterminable time. 

True to his word, Simon doesn’t try anything during Johnny’s rut. Just lays in the nest with him as they doze, occasionally bring him food, and also, purring. Johnny’s never had a rut this kind to him and he fully believes that it has everything to do with the fact that Simon doesn’t stop purring. It makes his heart swell to think that someone could love him like this.

But of course, like all good things, it has to end. And they have to go back to base.

Chapter Text

And then, because it is Johnny, and Johnny’s life never goes right, the unthinkable happens.

It was just supposed to be a run of the mill mission. Disable the terrorists’ bomb and hopefully have a reason to kill the man in charge, Makarov.

It was supposed to be an easy in and out mission. Or, at least, as easy as any other mission dismantling bombs big enough to kill so many fucking civilians. 

But now Simon’s sitting next to a hospital bed, wondering if he’ll ever get to see Johnny’s pretty blue eyes again, if he’ll ever get to wake up in their nest, next to his Johnny, again.

He loses so much time, just sitting there, holding Johnny’s hand, numbly watching his chest rise and fall. Hardly able to look at Johnny’s face because he can’t see the bandages around Johnny’s head or he might break. He fucking tried so hard to get to Johnny, to alert him, to do anything . But he still had to watch as his friend, partner, mate got shot in the skull and the way Johnny frantically looked towards him as he fell.

Price and Gaz and Laswell try to pull him away, get him to eat, or drink, or sleep , but it never lasts more than twenty minutes before Simon is back at Johnny’s side. 

Late at night, he tries scooting closer and purring quietly. He read somewhere once that omega’s purring can act a lot like a cat’s purr and help facilitate healing. And he doesn’t really have any other options to try, so purring it is.

He tries not to think about the worst case scenario, but it plagues him every night. 

One day, a couple weeks into Johnny’s coma, Simon allows Price to prod him back to his and Johnny’s quarters to shower. And to his credit, he does shower. Sure it’s a 2 minute frigid shower, but he’s clean and washed! And then he stops just barely long enough to grab something from his dresser drawer before he’s heading back to medical.

No one mentions the promise collar that appears on Johnny’s chest that night.

A week later, in the middle of the night, Johnny finally wakes up.

After all the nurses and doctors had come through and talked to Johnny and assessed him and the kind of damage he might have, it’s finally just the two of them again.

Johnny finally gets to look, really look at Simon. And he can’t help the whine that claws its way out of his throat at the sight. Simon looks utterly wrecked. He’s just got a black medical mask on instead of his usual balaclava, and the oversized hoodie that was Johnny’s first courting gift to him. And his eyes, oh his eyes. He looks so haunted and the bags under his eyes are worse than Johnny’s ever seen them. 

Slowly Johnny reaches out to Simon, he doesn't want to disturb the mess of wires around him. Shakily Simon takes his hand. It takes Johnny a few moments to notice the collar sitting on his chest. “Simon?” he whispers. 

Simon scoots his chair closer. “I- You almost died Johnny. I- I needed you to know how much I love you, if you- if you didn’t wake up. Thought if you woke up I could give it to you proper. I don’t- I can’t lose you, Johnny. You’re my everything. I need you to know that. Hoped you’d accept it and that we could get mated and married someday.”

Johnny wishes he could sit up properly and give Simon a hug. But he can’t and honestly he feels like throwing up at the thought of moving. So he settles instead for squeezing Simon’s hand. “Don’t think the doctors would be too pleased if you put that on me right now, Si.” Simon huffs even as he starts tearing up. “But I also don’t really care what they think, so will you please get the fuck in bed with me? It’s cold as fuck and I want my Simon, please.”

Simon has to take a deep breath. It doesn’t really help though, and tears start slowly rolling down his face for the first time since the gun went off in the tunnel. He stands and bends over Johnny for a moment, letting his head rest against Johnny’s chest for a moment before he’s carefully moving all the tubes and wires to make enough room for himself.

It takes a bit of shuffling and several close calls of Johnny almost throwing up at the movement, but they finally manage to find a comfortable position. Johnny leans back against Simon’s chest, head turning just enough to rest it against Simon’s chin where it doesn’t hurt like a bitch, while Simon wraps his arms around Johnny and holds his hands, resting them gently on Johnny’s stomach. “Love you,” Johnny whispers into Simon’s neck as he falls asleep again. 

“Love you too, Johnny,” Simon replies, squeezing Johnny’s hands.

Simon doesn’t sleep again that night. He keeps watch. They may be on base and he’s well aware they should be safe. But he can’t help his need to keep watch.

The next time Johnny wakes, it’s with a groan that turns into a pained whine, followed by a moment of gagging. Simon quietly shushes him. “I’m right here, Johnny, I’ve got you.” He tenderly cradles the back of Johnny’s head and turns his head just enough to press Johnny’s face into his neck. He can only assume that the assault of the really fucking bright hospital lights are hurting his eyes. He presses the call button and ponders the reasons they’d leave the brightest lights ever on in the room of a man who was literally shot in the head when he’d probably be really fucking light sensitive when he woke up. At least the nurse who comes shortly thereafter is kind and doesn’t mention Simon in the bed when he asks her to turn the lights down or off.

Price and Gaz stop by shortly after, relieved beyond measure to see Johnny alive and awake again. The visit doesn’t last very long, but Price gets to tell Johnny that Makarov is dead, and the grim satisfaction on Johnny’s face is worth it. 

A few days later, the doctors take the bandages off his head and deem him well enough to be allowed a supervised shower. Simon volunteers and carries him into the shower. It’s almost humiliating, but Johnny keeps repeating to himself that he is literally going to have to relearn to walk after being in a coma for several weeks. It doesn’t really help him feel better , but it does help lessen the embarrassment at needing to be undressed and washed. He even manages to not gag in pain from being moved or from the light!

And Simon is so fucking gentle with him. If he were feeling any better, Johnny would be miffed at this treatment. But as it stands, he’s not sure he would be able to stay conscious or keep his lunch down if Simon was being any rougher with him.

Several weeks later, and Johnny still relies on Simon to feed him. He’s been able to relearn how to walk just fine. But his fine motor skills, like feeding himself, haven’t been as easy. He still struggles to grip things. Not to mention the crippling migraines he gets every few days. Those last for hours and his only solace is that Simon has stayed with him in the darkened room. His presence is like a balm on Johnny’s wounded pride and soul. Not to mention the purring too. Sometimes Simon’s purring is the only thing that really helps the migraines.

He’s honestly terrified for the day Simon tells him that he has to go back, that Price needs him. He fears he will lose himself.

A few months into his recovery, Johnny has become more and more withdrawn. He barely speaks, even to Simon, and the omega can tell he’s hiding his pain some days.

Price and Gaz stop by when they can. Spend a few hours sitting in Johnny’s hospital room with him and Simon, and they shoot the shit and talk about whatever the fuck. But recently he’s just about stopped talking even to them. 

The doctors tell Simon and Johnny that soon Johnny will be able to go home and Simon worries. He doesn’t want to bother Johnny too much about how he’s feeling, not after the relentless questions by the hospital staff, but god he worries.

Johnny becomes even more listless when it’s just him and Simon, after that. Simon tries to have Price or Gaz bring them things from their quarters so he can make some semblance of a nest in the hospital. But even that doesn’t really help. Johnny just watches Simon fiddle with everything before he looks at it all wistfully and traces it with his finger.

Then the day comes. Johnny and Simon are both awake at the crack of dawn, nervous for what comes next, what comes after this. 

It’s a surprisingly simple process and they’d had his meds filled the day before, so it really doesn’t take long before they’re spit back out into the world.

Simon takes Johnny’s arm in his and they walk back to their quarters for the last time together.

It’s actually a surprisingly good day for Johnny, no headache and semi-decent motor function, so he’s going through, looking at everything, when Simon gets a call. 

“Yeah mum?” A short pause. “I- we’ll see, mum. I know, I’m sorry.” Another pause. Simon looks at Johnny, who’s staring at him with his head tilted in curiosity. “I’ve got a lot more free time now, officially retired and discharged and all, I’ll figure something out, alright?” Johnny’s eyes widen as he processes. “I’ll let him know mum. Love you too, bye.”

“You- you retired?” Johnny struggles to keep his breath even, he can’t afford to cry and give himself a migraine right before they’re going to be trapped on a train for several hours.

“‘Course. Can’t leave you by yourself now, can I? We’re a team, yeah? I’ve got your six, Johnny. Was a long time coming anyways, to be honest. Not as young as I used to be.” 

Simon starts dismantling their nest as he continues. “Oh, and mum wants me to visit soon, said she wanted to meet you. Beth and Tommy too. You don’t have to though. Oh, that does remind me though.”

Johnny stands in the middle of the room, blinking. Simon’s family wants to meet him ? He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Simon coming to stand in front of him, holding something. 

“May I put this on you now, Johnny?” Simon asks quietly, holding out the promise collar. 

Johnny could fucking cry . “You’d still want me ? Am I not a burden?”

Simon puts the collar in his pocket before he takes Johnny’s face in his hands. “Of course I’d still want you, Johnny. You’re still you . You’re still my Johnny. And I will tell you over and over again however many times you need. You are not a burden.”

He takes a breath, moves one hand down to scent Johnny’s neck. “Love is a choice , Johnny. And I am choosing you and will continue to do so either until you tell me to fuck off or until the heat death of the fuckin’ universe. And I will repeat myself however many times you need me to to get it through that thick fuckin’ skull of yours how much I fucking love you Johnny MacTavish.”

Struggling to not cry, Johnny manages to choke out a quiet “I love you too, Simon.”

Simon gathers Johnny in his arms and holds him there for a long moment, letting him decompress and ensure he doesn’t cry.

Before long though, Simon gently pushes Johnny to sit on the edge of the bed and proceeds to finish packing all their things.

Once they have their entire lives packed away, they visit Price’s office one last time. They say goodbye to Price and Gaz and Laswell. They wish them luck and to come visit. And then they leave for the train station.

By some miracle, they make it home with no tears or anything. They’re unpacking their things when Simon quietly broaches the silence. “Have you been alright, recently, Johnny?”

Johnny freezes. 

“You just, you’ve been quieter than usual lately.” Simon moves to sit on the edge of the bed in front of Johnny. “I’m sorry, I know you probably don’t want to think about this shit. But I care about you, Johnny, I want to make sure that you’re feeling better physically and mentally. It’s normal to feel like shit, especially after what happened. Just, please talk to me Johnny?”

Simon reaches for Johnny’s hands and pulls him closer. “Please let me take care of you like you deserve, Johnny.”

He sighs. “I don’t- I don’t know if I can talk about it yet?”

Simon smiles up at him gently. “That’s alright, Johnny. Emotions are fuckin’ hard, I know. Just- Let me know if that changes? Don’t drift away from me? Please? I want to be here, helping you. No place I would rather be, alright? Don’t ever doubt that, and if you do, come find me and I’ll set you straight, yeah?”

A nod. 

And suddenly, Johnny is so fucking thankful that Simon still has the hood of his hoodie up because he just wants to hide from the world at the sight of Simon looking up at him so earnestly. So he gives in to his instincts and takes the sides of Simon’s hood in his hands and bends down just enough to press a kiss to those still smiling lips. And he stays there for several long moments after they kiss, using the sides of the hood to hide them away from the rest of the world, even though they’re in their own little flat with no one else around.

The next few months are filled with doctor’s appointments and medication adjustments, and physical therapy appointments and actual therapy appointments. 

It gives them some semblance of a routine. But Simon starts to notice that Johnny is more listless than usual on days where they don’t have anything to do. So he starts suggesting walks. And while the walks are good, Johnny just, isn’t his usual self. 

They spend a lot of time in the nest on their bed or in an improvised nest on their couch in the living room on those days. Sometimes Johnny will just quietly trace his promise collar, or the tattoos on Simon’s arm. Other times, he’ll ask Simon to read to him. It’s not as easy for him to read anymore. Reading too much usually causes him migraines, and Simon doesn’t mind. It helps him too. He can fill the silence without needing to actually talk about anything. He just has to read the words on the page.

And then there’s the days where Johnny is absolutely decimated by migraines. Unable to move without wanting to throw up, hardly able to stand any light at all, pitifully whining almost silently.

Simon wishes he could do more than just sit with him and purr quietly, hoping that it helped. He tries to get some crackers and water in him every few hours, but usually all he can really do is tuck him further into their nest and settle closer and hope that the episode would be over soon. 

Thankfully, with some new meds a couple months in, the migraines slowly taper off until he only really has them once a month or so. But still, it makes Simon’s heart ache to be so fucking helpless when they sometimes render him incapable of moving from bed for days on end.

And then after those, having to feed Johnny because his body refuses to work properly for another day after. He doesn’t mind, of course. He could never mind anything Johnny needs. But he can see the defeat in Johnny’s shoulders every time he has to ask Simon for something like that.

One day, on one of their walks, Simon gently nudges Johnny. “Hey, Johnny?”

Johnny hums.

“Do you think- Would you ever maybe consider going to uni?”

There’s a bench up ahead, and Johnny drags Simon over to sit. Leaning against Simon’s shoulder, grateful for the break, Johnny asks, “Why are you asking, Simon?”

Simon’s quiet for a minute, taking Johnny’s hand and fiddling with his fingers. “Well, I just, I noticed that you don’t seem to do well when we don’t have something to do, like an objective for the day, or the week. Thought maybe that the lack of purpose like the one we had in the task force was what keeps getting you down. Figured that we have the time and money, why not spend it on doing something that gives us a purpose and might help us figure out what to do with ourselves in the long term.”

Johnny huffs fondly. “Don’t know whether I should be offended you can read me that well or not.” He shuffles even closer to Simon. “I don’t know if I’d be able to do it, though. I mean, look at me.” A self deprecating laugh. “I get bed bound by stupid headaches at least once a month, I still can’t reliably hold a pencil. Fuck, half the time, I still need to lean on you to walk.”

Simon cuts him off before he can continue.

“Johnny, I said us . I’ll go with you, we can do it together. I’m sure we can either get the university to let us take the same classes or Laswell still owes me a favour, she can guarantee we always get the same classes.” 

He squeezes Johnny’s fingers. “Remember, we’re a team . I’ve got your six. We’ll be fine . You were a sniper and a demo expert for a reason . Sure, your brain got a little bit scrambled, but you’re still in one piece and just because you can’t write all the time anymore doesn’t mean you don’t still know things. You’re a smart man, Johnny. I’ll have your back, we’ll be fine.”

“What if I can’t, though? What if things just don’t make sense to me? What if I want to go for a major that you hate or that you don’t find interesting? What if-”

“Johnny,” Simon says tenderly, “If you really can’t, then we’ll call it. Drop out and find something else. If things aren’t making sense, I’ll help you, just like you’d help me if I wasn’t getting something, right?” Johnny nods. 

“And, Johnny, love, I will love any major you love and want us to pursue, simply because I want to know and understand the things you love. I love being able to listen to your ramblings and actually understanding what you’re saying. I love listening to you . And I love spending time with you and I want to be there in case you need me. So of course I will love anything you choose.”

Johnny nuzzles the side of Simon’s neck, scenting him just a little as he thinks. 

“What if I want to go with aerospace engineering and learn actual rocket science?” He finally asks. 

Simon smiles. “I wouldn’t really expect anything less from someone who loves blowing shit up as much as you do. I think it’d be interesting, always liked physics.”

Johnny looks up at Simon. “You really wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all, love.”

Suddenly Johnny’s back on his feet, tugging Simon after him. “C’mon then! We’ve got an application to fill out and strings to pull!”

Simon laughs. It’s good to see Johnny with his same old energy again.

Several weeks later, they finally get confirmation that they’ve been accepted and enrolled in their first classes. Johnny whoops loudly at that and Simon smiles so brightly. Johnny turns around to show Simon and Simon’s already watching him, smiling so fucking radiantly. Johnny can’t help the chuff that escapes him. He’s never chuffed before. Simon chirps back at him and Johnny’s immediately reaching out for him.

Simon meets him halfway and Johnny immediately goes to town scenting him, rubbing his wrists along Simon’s neck. And Simon lets him do whatever it is he wants as he leans down slightly to press a gentle kiss to the scar on Johnny’s temple. “We’re gonna give ‘em hell, yeah Johnny?” He mumbles into Johnny’s mohawk.

“Yeah love, yeah we are.”

The term starts a few weeks after that, and Simon and Johnny are prepared . They have everything they could possibly need to make sure they hit the ground running. Are they treating it like any other mission? Yes, absolutely. But neither of them care one bit when that same discipline from years in the service will probably help them more than anything else.

The first day of classes dawn and they both wake up ready and excited. Simon can’t help rolling his eyes at Johnny as he spends a little longer in front of the mirror. But he’s so fucking happy to see Johnny light up like he used to when he got to blow shit up on missions.

Johnny chatters away as they grab the bus passes that Simon had conveniently thought to put on lanyards next to the door so they’d never forget them.

He’s still excitedly talking about everything they’re going to learn and the topics and classes he’s most excited for as they sit on the bus to campus.

Simon just sits and basks in it. He knows it won’t be easy by any means and that they’re going to have to work harder than probably most of their classmates will. But he will do anything to make it happen, so that Johnny continues to enjoy this new chapter in their lives. He’d do anything to see the light that basically pours off Johnny all the time.

Their first week is not that bad. A few people made some fucked up comments about Johnny and his scar and his lack of notes and the way they were mates in the same class. But a little “I literally got shot in the head for this country and survived, of course I’ve got a few fucking issues, what’s it matter to you?” and they quieted down for the most part. 

Their first term passes with only a few little bumps in the road. They pass with flying colours, of course. They learn that nine times out of ten, if one of them doesn’t understand a concept, the other will and can explain it to them in a way that makes more sense. Johnny can’t stare at Simon’s notes or the textbooks for very long, but he gets really good at describing things for Simon so he can draw and write them out instead. 

Just like all their missions together, they find what works for them. Turns out, Johnny’s really good at watching and listening to the lecture and being able to understand most of what they’re saying, just by watching them. Meanwhile, Simon’s really good at taking actual notes for them. 

And when Johnny’s migraines inevitably get in the way of some of their classes, Johnny still comes to class with Simon. Albeit he has to wear some really heavy duty earplugs and some really dark sunglasses, but they get to record the lecture and Johnny gets to stay with Simon. 

Some of their classmates invariably try to complain and say that he’s just hungover or something. But Simon can usually just fix them with a glare and get them to shut up (he’s only had to pull the “he was shot in the fucking head and lived, and obviously that has some consequences, like devastating migraines , but unlike you he doesn’t fucking complain ” once).

Most of their first term break is spent in their nest, cuddling. Of course they also get in at least one walk every day, just to get out of their flat for a little while, but it’s really nice to be able to relax for a couple weeks. They sign up for their next term and Simon has to admit that just from the first term and the looks of all the other classes they’re required to take, aerospace engineering is really starting to grow on him.

He finds himself excited for the next term, and the next year, and even the next five years. Simon never thought he’d go to school or really do anything past dying in the field. But now he has an alpha he loves with his whole fucking heart, an honorable discharge, and plans to get mated after they finish university. 

And Johnny is just as excited. Their first term proved that he still does have a decent brain after all, that they will be able to make it through together. He thought he was going to die in that tunnel. And in a way, he supposes he did. It killed Soap, but Johnny still lives, and sure he’s a bit more fucked up now, but he has Simon, and they’ll make it through anything together.