Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

We all know the story of Invader Zim. The insane defective Irken Invader, despised by his people but oblivious to it due to his ego, sent on a wild goose chase into the depths of space that led him to Earth, a cesspool of a planet dominated by the human race, a species mostly composed of utter idiots who couldn't see past Zim's rather pathetic disguise of a wig and contacts. Except, of course, for Dib Membrane, young son of the world's smartest man Professor Membrane and self-declared paranormal investigator, and also Dib's younger sister Gaz, who was too apathetic about anything outside her video games and pizza to care about the alien invader.

The story of these characters is well known, the tales of how Zim, assisted by his malfunctioning robot minion GIR, would try a variety of plans to conquer and/or destroy Earth, ranging from the brilliant to the bizarre to the outright stupid. And all the while, Dib would do his best to not only stop Zim but expose him as an alien and prove himself to his fellow humans, who all thought he was crazy and had a big head (admittedly, that last part was true despite Dib's denials, but that's beside the point). Gaz, meanwhile, would occasionally get involved too, but only if she was bored or had no choice.

We all know that story... but that is not the story being told here today. No, this is a different version of those events, caused by a very big change. Namely, by the arrival of an alien of an entirely different sort shortly after Zim first set foot on Earth...

 (Earth, Invader Zim's base)

"Ah, did you see the Tallest's expressions, GIR? They were overjoyed to finally have their greatest and favorite Invader reporting in! And now, despite the hiccup with that big-headed Earth smeet, our mission can truly begin! And this planet will fall to INVADER ZIM!"

 "Yay! I don't know what you just said!" GIR exclaimed happily, causing Zim to pause in his own laughter to glare in annoyance at the robot.

"Hmm, I may need to examine your programming. You're supposed to be advanced, but sometimes you just act... stupid," he muttered, before shaking it off, "But never mind! Now that Zim has flawlessly blended in with the Earth-monkeys, I can begin properly plotting their DOOM!"

 At that, GIR let out an excited gasp.

"You gonna throw them a pizza party?!" The maniac robot shrilled, while a pizza box shot out of his head.

"What? NO!" Zim snapped back with an annoyed expression, "Zim brings doom, not pizza!" He exclaimed out with a raised fist into the air.

"PIZZA PARTY!"

But GIR didn't listen, only shrilling with a wide grin before opening the pizza box, revealing a mostly eaten pizza... and a raccoon... a raccoon that was covered in gooey cheese and snarled as it lunged toward Zim.

 "AAAAHHHHH!!!" Zim screamed as the raccoon latched onto his face. Flailing about blindly as he tried to get it off of him, he just managed to slam against every piece of equipment in the room, while GIR helped himself to the remaining pizza.

Eventually, Zim managed to pry the raccoon off of him and tossed it into a nearby tube in the wall, causing it to be sucked upwards in a whoosh of air and launched out of the base.

"Agh, argh, GIR! Never do something like that again!" he snapped at his robot, who just shrugged.

"Okay. Want some pizza?" he asked, offering his master a half-eaten slice.

"No, Zim does not desire pizza! Zim desires you to act as the state of art minion you're designed to be!" Zim snapped, but GIR just slowly blinked, before yelling, "I'm gonna watch the monkey!"

With Zim just giving a confused look before GIR turned on the television, with the screen just displaying a hideous Earth simian staring at the camera while GIR happily stuffed his face with more of that pizza.

"Zim is beginning to think he should have asked the Tallest for your user manual," The Irken groaned, facepalming, because really, was a competent minion slave too much for an alien invader to ask for?

I mean, obviously he didn't actually need one. He was Zim! That meant that he could conquer this planet - any planet, really - with his eyes closed and one hand tied behind his PAK!

But still, having a minion to handle things for him would be very convenient. But for now, he was stuck with a robot who was so advanced that even his brilliant mind couldn't comprehend it as anything more than idiocy.

Oh well. He'd just have to learn to deal with it, and work around it in order to succeed in his mission and prove himself to the Tallest. After all, what other options did he have?

 But unknown to Zim as he thought this, elsewhere in Earth's solar system another alien ship was arriving, carrying a prisoner that would change the battle for the fate of the Earth forever.

(Space, Earth solar system)

Not far from the planet, there was a rather unpleasant-looking red spaceship out for a cruise. Its fuselage was in the shape of a large rounded disc, with a narrow spindle topped by a circular projection standing dead center on the upper surface; the bridge. Several spikes extended from the diameter on either side, while two larger ones pointed straight ahead to flank the main gun.

This ship was owned by a species know as the Gordanians. A race that possessed a monstrous, reptilian appearance. They were tall, muscular creatures with dark blue, scaly skin and yellow-green armor plating across their chests and abdomens. Their faces were fierce, with glowing red eyes that gave them an intimidating, otherworldly look. Each Gordanian had a black, mask-like structure covering part of their face, with jagged yellow markings outlining the edges. They had sharp claws, long tails, and large, wing-like fins protruding from their backs and arms, which add to their dragon-like features. Their posture and build emphasized raw strength and brutality.

And yet despite their fearsome appearance, deep within the walls of the ship in the holding area meant for prisoners, many of the Gordanians stationed as guards looked worried, if not outright fearful.

 At the far end of the corridor containing the ship's prisoners, screams could be heard echoing through the air as something pounded against the door sealing the last cell. And whatever it was, it was hitting the door hard enough to make it shake.

"The door will hold?" one of the guards asked the others nervously.

"It must!" a second declared.

"The alien will be delivered on schedule. Lord Trogaar has commanded it!" a third guard added.

"And if this thing gets loose?" a fourth guard asked as the door shook even harder.

"Then Zorg help us all," the first guard stated solemnly.

At those words, another piercing scream filled the air as the cell door thudded, with cracks beginning to form around the door, and from within the shadows of the cell two burning green eyes flared up, glaring with nothing but hate and determination at the door barring their freedom.

While outside the cell, the guards took a few steps back, bracing themselves for anything and everything, and they got it when one last yell rang out and the door blew outward off its hinges, with the last thing they saw being the glow of those terrifying green eyes.

Soon, the dust cloud raised by the door being busted open cleared, revealing the being who had just escaped from the cell. It was a teenage alien girl with orange skin, long red hair, and green eyes glowing with rage. She was wearing a suit of armor, over which she additionally had on a black crop top shirt and miniskirt, as well as thigh-high black boots, with a face-framing crown on her head. Also, she was wearing thick, rigid cuffs that covered her hands and which were connected at both ends, something she was clearly unhappy about.

"Zengtha ru maka! Kek zengtha ror!" she yelled in her language, the anger in her tone obvious even to anyone who couldn't understand her words.

"Restrain her! We can't let her escape or Trogaar will have our heads!" called out one of the guards, holding out a lance that shot electrical energy from the tip.

"Lorka mesplem!" the alien girl growled as the guard charged her and tried to swing his lance at her. However, she brought up her shackled hands and caught the weapon on the chains holding them together; some energy discharged into them, but she just sneered at the guard, unaffected by it.

With a yell, she flung her arms upwards, sending the lance flying out of the guard's hands. And before he could react, she jumped up and kicked him in the chest, sending him flying backwards through the air.

 As this was happening, one guard quickly ran over to a panel on the wall and slammed his fist against it, with alarms starting to ring all across the ship.

 "Heska vo," the girl spat, eyes narrowing as a door opened and more guards came rushing in.

"Get her!" one of them yelled, before they all screamed and charged her.

 With the girl simply snarling with glowing eyes as she lunged forward, showing no fear toward the numbers against her despite her bound arms, only fury.

 And she turned out to be right to be so confident, because a few minutes later-

BOOM

Part of the outside of the ship exploded, revealing the girl standing there, surrounded by unconscious guards. Unaffected by the vacuum of space, she levitated into the air and flew out of the hole, floating through space.

Looking around, her gaze settled on the nearby sight of Earth. Eyes narrowing, she quickly zoomed off towards it.

 And as she made her escape, the leader of her captors was expressing their displeasure.

"You fools! You had one simple job, how could you allow her to escape?!" Bellowed form of Trogaar from his command chair, his voice echoing across the ship on intercom, "I want all soldiers prepared to be sent out to retrieve her!"

He growled, his large form looming over the workers on the command bridge.

"I refuse to let this prize escape us," Trogaar said, his eyes narrowing, "With the Irkens expanding out in their Operation Impending Doom 2, any potential asset for the Gordanian Empire is vital, more than ever."

 He could not and would not allow those arrogant insects to get an edge over his people. They would gather up every powerful being in the known universe that they could bend to their will, and with that might at their disposal, they would crush the Irkens like the bugs they were, and anyone else who dared to defy them.

The entire cosmos would bow before the Gordanian Empire, or feel their wrath!

 (Zim's base)

Meanwhile, back on Earth, the new arrivals were soon to be noticed.

"Now, let's see here..." Zim muttered, currently standing in his lab beneath his Earth dwelling decoy/base, currently accessing the Earth-Monkeys' primitive information network to perform research.

"So... it seems the Dib-Monkey has quite a reputation," He muttered as the computer terminal pulled up an old newspaper article with the title of, "Son of famous brilliant scientist Professor Membrane embarrasses himself with claims of traffic accident being caused by gremlin."

"Fortunately, as the other worm-babies in class indicated, no one believes any of his claims of encountering non-humans," he mused, "So, as long as I am my usually careful Zim-self and don't actively reveal my superior Irken might to them, no one should be convinced by Dib-Stink's efforts to expose me."

Though that being said, Zim still found himself looking nervously to the picture of Dib's parental unit. Not only was he nearly as tall as the Tallest, but he was one of the few humans who appeared to have actual intelligence, and significant resources on top of that. If Dib could convince him, he could be a real problem...

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

However, Zim was pulled from his thoughts as an alarm started sounding.

 "Eh?! Computer, what is the meaning of this racket!?" Zim demanded, annoyed, before his eyes widened in worry as a theory hit his mind, "Did that Dib-Monkey somehow expose us after all?!" He demanded as a computerized voice spoke up.

"Negative, sensors have picked up an unidentified object entering Earth's atmosphere, and current projections set it for collision course for Doomsville," The base's AI computer answered, with Zim giving a blink.

"Doomsville?" he repeated, with the Computer seeming to give a mechanical sigh of exasperation.

"The designation of the city we're based it," It said dryly.

"Zim knew that! Zim was simply checking to see if your memory banks were operational!" The Irken snapped in annoyance with a glare, "And what makes this unidentified object so important to bother Zim with?!"

He added, glaring up at the screen, "It's probably nothing more than some random meteoroid, and Zim has better things to do than waste time with a space rock."

"Well, there's the fact that the sensors have also picked up and identified a Gordanian battle cruiser entering Earth's atmosphere, following after the object," Before stiffening at the Computer's next words as it added in a dry tone, "Soes that sound important enough for you?"

 "Gordanians?! What are those filthy lizards doing here?!" Zim snarled. Ugh, those lizards were just the worst! Acting all arrogant and superior, when everyone knew that they were just lapdogs of the Citadel!

"Apparently, pursuing the object," the Computer stated dryly.

"Zim can tell that much!" the Irken snapped in annoyance at the snarky attitude that the Computer was giving him. Why was all his equipment for this mission like this? "Just... tell Zim where this object is going! I shall intercept it, and figure out how to deal with the Gordanians afterwards."

"Calculating..." the Computer intoned, a loading symbol flashing on the nearest computer screen for a few moments before bringing up a map of their surroundings, a spot on the edge of the city flashing red, "Best estimated impact location is here."

 "Excellent, then Zim shall not waste any time," The Irken declared, jumping off of the chair, "Whatever this object is, Zim shall secure it in the name of the Irken Empire!" He declared with a dark grin, 'And remind these lizards why they are inferior to the might of the Irkens~"

Zim hissed, finding himself eager for this excuse to stretch his legs and display his might after being stuck in the Voot Cruiser for months with... hang on.

"GIR! GET DOWN HERE!" He bellowed as his voice echoed, and not a moment later GIR fell down the elevator shaft with a loud clang, before raising his head with a laugh.

"It's time for the pizza party!" The robot eagerly screeched, prompting a facepalm.

"No GIR, there is no pizza party," Zim growled as he walked into the elevator shaft, with it taking him up to his new Earth dwelling decoy, "The only party happening shall be a PARTY OF DOOM!"

Zim declared with a loud evil laugh, with GIR blinking before smiling.

"Ohhhh... I'm gonna shake my booty!" Then with that declaration proceeded to do just that, prompting Zim to stop laughing and give GIR an annoyed look before sighing.

"Just follow Zim and all will be explained," Zim grumbled as the two exited the base in search of the mystery object.

(Meanwhile, Membrane residence)

"I just can't believe it, Gaz!" Dib exclaimed as he paced in the living room, ranting to his very uninterested sister, "An actual alien just struts into my classroom wearing the worst disguise I've ever seen, and everyone just buys his clearly fake "skin condition" excuse? What is wrong with people?!"

"You want the whole list?" Gaz grunted, not really paying attention as she sat on the couch playing her Game Slave.

Honestly, she didn't really care. Yeah, for once her moron of a brother was right - she'd seen that Zim guy at lunch, and his screeching voice was somehow more annoying than her own brother, and it was clear he wasn't human.

But she really didn't care; so he was an alien invader, big whoop. The guy seemed like a complete idiot, she doubted he was an actual threat. Of course, it seemed Dib didn't seem to realize this or get the memo, rather he was latching onto the alien menace... loser probably saw this as his chance to be the big hero or whatever.

Ugh, whatever. As long as the moron didn't expect her to be his sidekick or something, she didn't care what he did.

"This is serious, Gaz!" Dib yelled at his sister, "That alien freak outright said that he wants to conquer Earth! He needs to be stopped, but apparently I'm the only one that can do it!"

Seriously, what was wrong with everyone? This wasn't like mistaking a guy with a hormonal problem for a werewolf, or thinking that an ugly baby was really a disguised gnome! Zim wasn't even really trying to blend in! Why couldn't people see him for what he was?!

However, Gaz merely gave a snort.

"The only one that can do it," she said with a mocking tone entering her voice, "Finally found something bigger than your head, and it's your ego," She said as Dib gave her a frown, "I mean seriously, if you're Earth's only line of defense, then we might as well declare this Zim guy king now, it'd certainly save time."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Dib demanded, feeling insulted on multiple levels.

"It means that you can't even deal with a guy breaking into our garage to use our belt sander, but suddenly you can singlehandedly save the world?" Gaz scoffed.

"First of all, that wasn't "a guy", it was Bigfoot, and he smacked me aside like a football player making a tackle!" Dib said defensively, "And secondly, I totally had Zim on the run today!"

"Rightttt... you had a dangerous alien invader with access to super advanced technology on the run," Gaz said with a sarcastic snort, "That alone either proves this guy is as dangerous as a wet paper bag, or that you really are more deluded than even I thought possible."

 Dib scowled at Gaz's dismissive attitude towards him, but before he could say anything else, a light outside the window suddenly caught his attention.

"Huh?" he blinked, walking over to the window and looking around for the source of the light. Not seeing anything, he looked up, and his eyes widened as he caught sight of what looked like a meteor falling out of the sky, vanishing from sight behind the buildings just outside his neighborhood.

BOOM

And judging by the resulting explosion, hitting the ground.

 And at this, Dib's eyes widened as he jumped to the immediate and logical conclusion.

"GAZ! IT'S HAPPENING!" He cried out desperately, pressing his face against the window.

"What? You've finally realize how dorky and crazy you are?" Gaz asked, focusing back on her game and just sounding annoyed and done with Dib's nonsense.

"No! The alien invasion, Gaz! Zim must have just been a distraction while his leaders prepared their assault!" Dib yelled, panicking as his mind immediately went to horrible images of alien armies marching down the streets, burning the city to the ground and putting everyone in chains.

He couldn't let this happen!

"I have to stop them before it's too late!" he exclaimed, running out the door without a second thought, leaving Gaz staring after him incredulously.

"Does he even have a plan?" she muttered. But then gave a shrug.

"Eh, whatever. He gets himself blown up, it's his own fault," she stated coldly, before ignoring the potential alien invasion to enjoy the peace and quiet as she focused on something actually important... her video game.

(Elsewhere, edge of Doomville)

A crowd of citizens gathered around a crater, where a green light had crashed.

"What's that?" Asked one man, scratching his head.

"Looks like a new pothole... dang mayor promised to fix them, not make more," Grumbled a woman next to him.

While they were complaining, no one noticed the caved-in ground shifting and the light growing brighter, until-

BOOM

"Slopforn ivortmat!" the orange girl screamed as she came bursting out of the ground, "Slopforn! Ond gudshik zerrole!"

"...Who's that? A circus performer?" someone asked in the crowd of people who were staring at the girl obliviously.

 "Looks more like a trouble-making teenager..." Spoke up an old man leaning on his cane with a grumpy kid, "Dang kids, with their loud explosions and glowing green eyes..."

 "That's right! What do you think you're doing making potholes, young lady?" a woman demanded. In response to her tone, the alien girl looked around in frustration and anger.

"Zop yark mesnef!" she yelled, before swinging her cuffed hands into a nearby car, sending it flying through the air.

 "My car!" Cried out a short pudgy man angrily with his hands going to his head, "You crazy! What do you think you're...?"

The man's words were cut off by the girl letting out another roar and charging toward him, with him letting out a girly yell as he jumped to the side, with the girl hitting the building behind him, with her restraints caving in the wall.

"You know what... I wanted to get a new car anyway!" The man squealed as he attempted to flee the scene.

"Someone call the police, it's a crazy hoodlum!" Squealed a woman holding her small dog close up against her chest.

 With that, the crowd screamed and ran away in a blind panic, which the girl blinked at, before scoffing and turning to stomp off while struggling with her cuffs.

"Halt right there, alien scum!"

Only to pause at that shout. Despite not understanding the words, the tone still got her attention, and she turned to face it, finding Dib standing nearby, pointing dramatically at her.

 "Your evil plans to conquer my planet stop here and now!" He declared grandly while glaring up at the girl... with silence passing for several moments, with a tumbleweed actually passing by between them before the girl blinked and shook her head.

"Zor'duni," she muttered to herself, before seeming to turn around and disregard Dib.

 "Huh?" Dib blinked in confusion, before scowling, "Hey! Don't ignore me, alien scum! Face me, Earth's greatest defender!"

The girl paused and glanced at him in annoyance, before scoffing and walking away again, more focused on trying to break her shackles.

 "Seriously?!" Dib groaned, before lunging forward and charging toward the girl heroically (or at least in his mind), with the girl ignoring him before blinking as she felt something grab at her leg, causing her to look down and arch a brow at the sight of Dib grimacing as he tried to pull and grapple at the girl's leg.

"You... won't... conquer... my world!" He exclaimed with a grunt, with the girl honestly looking a mixture between confused and unimpressed.

"Thal g'nair zha'lar!" she said with a blink, before adding with a scowl, "Thig baal vorplox!"

 With that, she raised her leg, easily lifting Dib into the air. He blinked at this, barely realizing what was happening before she thrust her leg out in a kick.

"Flua ne'er!" she yelled, the force of the kick sending flying off of her and down the street with a scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAA!" SHATTER! "OW!"

Straight through the glass window of a pet shop.

"Urg... lucky shot..." Dib groaned from the ground, before freezing as he heard the sound of growling above him, causing him to look up and pale at the sight of multiple dogs surrounding him and growling.

"Um... nice doggies..." he said with a nervous smile, before letting out screams of pain as they all lunged toward him.

 While Dib was mauled by the dogs, the girl snorted dismissively and again turned away, returning her focus to trying to free herself.

"Baka-tahl, vayka irtah su!" she snarled, straining against the restraints.

 She refused to let herself be bound any longer! Especially when it only made her more vulnerable to genuine threats instead of foolish natives with large heads, she thought with a snarl, her mind going to her captors as she let out a cry while charging toward a building to slam her restraints against.

BOOM

As this was happening, a small alien vessel, specifically an Irken Voot Cruiser, arrived on the scene.

"Hmm, whatever that falling object was, it certainly caused plenty of damage," Zim remarked to GIR, with a hint of amusement for the chaos of the scene he arrived to.

 "Party time?" GIR asked excitedly, making Zim sigh.

"For the last time, GIR, there is no party!" he snapped, "Now, look around for whatever caused this!"

"Affirmative!" GIR said, his eyes turning red as he looked out the ship, with Zim blinking but sighing, pleased that the robot could at least follow some orders, as he moved the Voot Cruiser closer to hover a few feet above the apparent impact crater, but no sign of the cause of it.

"Surely those arrogant lizards couldn't have beaten Zim here," The Irken muttered to himself with a scowl, furious at the idea of that scenario, while also disregarding the option of the Earth-Monkeys taking the unidentified object. As judging by the chaos and damage, they likely fled like the cowardly primitives they are... but that still left the question of where was Zim's prize?!

"I see a pretty lady coming to say hi!" Before flinching as GIR, his eye color and personality suddenly back to normal, screeched and waved his arm crazily.

"GIR! What are you...?" Zim started to demand answers, only to turn his head, spotting an orange-skinned humanoid with glowing green eyes charging straight toward his ship!

Naturally, as a highly-trained Irken Invader with well-honed skills and instincts, Zim knew exactly how to react to this.

"AAAHHHH!!!" he screamed in a blind panic, yanking back hard on the Voot's controls and causing it to careen off in a random direction, the alien girl just barely missing colliding with them.

"Wheeeeeeee! Pretty lady wants to play, mastah!" GIR squealed at the same time, cackling while Zim grimaced with a dark scowl as he got the Voot back under control.

"GIR! This is no time for games, we are under attack!" He snapped, before looking towards the apparent new enemy floating before him, and blinking in surprise as he fully registered what he was seeing.

"A Tamaranean? What is a troq like that doing on a planet like this?" he muttered, eyes narrowed at the floating orange girl.  While his mind raced, recalling what he knew of the so-called warrior race.

 From the planet Tamaran, they had a strong warrior tradition, though fixated on ridiculous concepts like honorable fighting instead of just crushing their enemies. More importantly, due to experiments by other races on their ancestors in ancient times, they had the ability to fly and harness energy that they could then redirect in attacks from their hands.

And hmm... this might explain the Gordanians' presence, as he recalled those lizards being at war with the Tamaraneans for a long time, on behalf of their Citadel masters. This one must be a POW that escaped from them. Which of course meant this troq was the prize Zim sought... the question was, what to do now? Well, obviously he would be making sure the Gordanians didn't take back their prisoner; why would he miss the chance to remind them their place and Irken superiority~

The question is, what he'd do with the Tamaranean? After all, his mission had only started today, and he couldn't risk a savage running around exposing him to the humans!

Zim supposed he could keep her prisoner, but then what? It'd be a waste to just keep her around without getting anything out of her. Admittedly, it might be easier to just destroy her and be done with it, but Tamaraneans, despite their inferiority to Irkens, were still strong warriors (despite their foolish honor code), made all the more deadly with their abilities, so simply destroying her would be a waste of potential resources.

After all, Zim could deliver her to the Tallest as a gift! Or perhaps use her in some kind of experiment that would naturally benefit Zim. Or maybe he could break her to his will and use her as an attack dog! Yes, that would perfect; it was a perfectly fitting role for a troq like this, and why shouldn't Zim have such a useful tool at his disposal?

Of course, first he'd have to capture her, he realized as she continued floating ahead of him, scowling at him.

"Filthy Tamaranean! Surrender immediately, or face the wrath of Zim!" he declared, shouting through his ship's speakers.

"Kusak ti? Vey ann'ku tig?" the Tamaranean shouted in reply, frustrated confusion etched into her face. And Zim... gave a clueless blink.

"Urg, can't your people even speak Galactic Basic like the rest of the universe?! Even the Earth-Monkeys speak basic!" He exclaimed with annoyance as the Tamaranean simply scowled back at him, "But enough of your gibberish, you will surrender to Zim and the might of the Irken Empire!"

 "Irken?" the girl repeated the one word she recognized with a blink, before scowling again. She knew of the Irkens of course, they were said to be even bigger imperialist monsters than the Gordanians!

By X'hal, this was not a good day...

Zim, meanwhile, puffed up at the recognition he noticed.

"Yes, that's right, Irken! And Zim is the greatest of all Irkens! So surrender, or feel my wrath!" he declared.

 However, rather than the reasonable response to his demand, the girl instead roared as she charged straight toward him!

 "Agh! Insolent troq!" Zim spat, activating the Voot's weapons and opening fire. Plasma bolts shot through the air at the Tamaranean, only for her to dodge expertly, quickly closing the distance between them.

"Zar'kawa!" she yelled as she rammed her cuffed hands into the Voot, sending the ship spinning through the air.

 "AAAAAAAAAH! URG ZIM IS GOING TO BE SICK!" The Irken screamed as the Voot spun out of control, while GIR laughed maniacally in his antenna.

As this was happening, a horde of dogs jumped through the shattered glass of the pet store, with Dib's bruised and scarred form limping through after them.

"Urg... I... am... the protector of... Earth... alien... scum," he groaned, before collapsing just outside the pet store.

 This day was NOT going how he'd always fantasized. No one had believed him, despite there being an alien right there in front of them, his epic attempt to hunt Zim down had ended with him being chased off by robotic lawn gnomes, and now another alien had just gotten him mauled by dogs.

"Where's the adventure and praise?" he grumbled as he pulled himself off the ground, "Where's the vindication of my life goals? Where-"

BAM

"-the heck did that come from?!" Dib exclaimed in shock as the Voot suddenly crashed into the sidewalk a few yards in front of him. With the hatch opening a moment later, and Dib watching wide eyed as Zim (without his disguise!) leaned out over the side, looking nauseous along with a robot (an actual alien robot!) that let out an excited cheer.

"Let's go again! AGAIN!" It shrilled, with Zim letting out a groan.

"No GIR, let's not!" The alien growled with a scowl, while pushing up but still looking dazed, "Disrespectful troq... trespassing on Zim's planet... attacking Zim's ship! Why Zim outta..." His words were cut off by Dib suddenly shaking his head and pushing himself up, powering through the pain.

"ZIM!"

Prompting a confused blink from the Irken, before he grimaced, seeing the source of the cry.

"Hi, big head!" Called out GIR with a wave as Dib approached, holding his side slightly.

"First off, my head's not big," Dib said with an annoyed expression, "And secondly..." He pointed accusingly at the alien, "I won't let you, or your reinforcements, take my planet, Zim!"

He called out with his best heroic tone. However, Zim merely look confused and annoyed.

"Reinforcements? Zim needs no reinforcements to invade a planet!" He exclaimed angrily, with a genuinely insulted expression. Who did Dib-Monkey think Zim was, Invader Larb?!

"And Zim has no time to deal with big-headed smeets! Zim has a savage Tamaranean to subdue before those annoying lizards the Gordanians show up to capture her!" He added with a snap toward Dib, who gave a surprised blink at this bit of information.

"A what to subdue before who does what?" he echoed in confusion.

"Does your primitive race know nothing about the universe, pitiful human?" Zim sneered, "Tamaraneans are a race of brutal warriors, and Gordanians are idiotic lizards who are at war with them and apparently caught this one, who escaped and is now making it Zim's problem!"

"...I feel like there's a lot of context I'm missing here," Dib admitted, trying to wrap his head around what Zim had just said.

"Zim cares not for your context! Just stay out of my way and let the superior lifeforms handle things!" Zim spat, turning away from Dib and looking up in the sky to where his target was coming down towards him.

With Zim widening his eyes before screaming out, "GIR! DEFEND YOUR MASTER!"

"Yes sir!" GIR said with a salute, eyes flashing red. Rockets igniting in his feet, he flew up into the air to place himself between the Tamaranean and Zim, and proceeded to do a few kung-fu moves... before his eyes went back to blue and he held his arms out wide with a smile.

"Who wants a hug?!" he yelled happily.

WHACK

And then he was smacked out of the way by the orange girl, who kept going without slowing down.

"What kinda robot minion asks for a hug?!" Dib exclaimed in disbelief, while Zim gave a growl.

"It's called tactical distraction, Dib-Monkey!" He snapped as he latched onto the first excuse he could think of while deploying his PAK legs.

He then leapt up to try and intercept the Tamaranean in midair, only for her to flip around and come down legs first, slipping past the PAK legs so that her feet slammed into Zim's chest, allowing her to ram him down into the ground.

CRACK

Leaving Zim wheezing in pain in a new hole in the pavement, while she glared down at him. With a growl, she raised her bound arms to bring them down on him, and with a cry of panic, Zim wildly swung his PAK legs around in a desperate attempt to free himself.

SLING

And then, to everyone's shock, one of the legs not only blocked the Tamaranean's bound arms, but cut clean through the bindings holding the cuffs together. Both aliens froze at that, blinking in surprise at what had just happened, and then with a clatter of metal, the cuffs fell off, leaving the girl's hands fully freed.

...

...

...

Stunned silence filled the air for several moments before it was broken by the Irken's voice.

"Uhhh... Zim meant to do that," The Irken said aloud nervously as the Tamaranean flexed her free hands.

"Why would you mean to help your opponent?!" Dib exclaimed incredulously where he stood off to the side, trying to come up with a plan. He might not know much about this girl's species, but he was pretty sure removing her restraints made her even more dangerous!

"Well, obviously it would be too easy for Zim to vanquish her with those cuffs retraining her arms. By freeing her, Zim will now have a somewhat decent challenge," He explained with a huff, as Dib only gave Zim an incredulous look, wondering if Zim actually expected him to buy that or if Space Boy was telling the truth and was actually that arrogant.

Though his shock only grew at the alien girl's next move, as she lunged toward Zim, grabbing the surprised Irken by the front of his uniform and then pulling him... INTO A KISS!?

Yes, kiss, as the alien girl had pulled Zim up and was now kissing him hard.

"I... what?!" Leaving Dib to stare in a mixture of shock, confusion, and admittedly a tiny bit of jealousy as he tried to figure out what was even happening! These two had just been trying to kill each other, now they were kissing? What the hell?! Was this some weird alien courtship ritual or something? But they were different species!

As Dib was trying to process this, Zim's own mind was frozen at what was happening. This primitive savage was putting her filthy inferior lips on his superior ones! This was a disgrace to all Irken-kind!

...So, why did it feel kinda good? He felt a warm pleasant feeling spreading up from his squeedilyspooch, as well as a strange thrill that almost rivaled the feeling he had when he destroyed his enemies or showed the superiority of Zim!

Was the Tamaranean doing this? Was this some kind of ability her people possessed that Zim was somehow unaware of?

Before he could figure it out, however, the kiss suddenly stopped, and the Tamaranean dropped him to the ground without warning.

"Thank you for freeing me," she said, the boys blinking in surprise as she was suddenly speaking English (or Galactic Basic as Zim knew it), before she gave Zim a firm look, "Now, leave me ALONE!"

And with that, she leapt back into the air and flew away, quickly vanishing from sight. Leaving Zim stunned, sitting on his butt before turning his head as Dib-Monkey approached.

"Okay... what just happened!?" The paranormal "expert" exclaimed in confusion, "How the heck do you go from kicking the crud out of someone one minute to making out with them the next?! Was all of that some kinda alien courting thing or something?!"

 "Courting?!" Zim exclaimed in disbelief, suddenly feeling nervous and warm in the face for some reason, "Nonsense! Irkens do not bother with such primitive concepts! Clearly, that lowly troq was just impressed by Zim's mightiness!"

 "Right... she was so impressed when she was beating you down into the ground," Dib said dryly, rolling his eyes.

"Zim had her where Zim wanted her!" The Irken retorted, standing back up, "And at least Zim did more than stand around gawking with his big mouth and even bigger head."

He added with a smirk, causing Dib to growl.

"My head's not big!" Dib snapped, annoyed.

"You keep telling yourself that, Earth-Monkey," Zim said, snickering a bit, "but if you excuse Zim, he has a Tamaranean to track down before those annoying lizards show up."

He said with a scowl, before both him and Dib jumped at a loud shrill cry behind them.

"MASTAH HAS A GIRLFRIEND!" With them both whirling around to see GIR standing behind them, smiling, "You should give her hugs and kisses~" The robot said, giggling as he hugged himself.

 "Zim does not want hugs and kisses!" Zim snapped, cheeks flushing as he stomped off in the direction that the Tamaranean had gone, GIR following and them leaving a confused Dib behind.

"I... really don't know how I feel about all this," Dib muttered to himself.

I mean, the alien menace that infiltrated his school just got kissed by another alien! Another alien who, besides her skin tone and glowing eyes, could pass for a more believable human than the space bug with his disguise. Another alien who, by all accounts, looked like a very attractive teenage girl... and she kissed Zim?!

I mean, it wasn't like he wanted to be kissed by an alien! No matter how pretty said alien was... he thought with a grimace, before shaking his head back to focus as he ran after Zim.

"Wait, hang on, you can't just leave! I want some answers!" He demanded, with Zim growling as he spoke over his shoulder while approaching his ship.

"And Zim doesn't care! Nor does Zim have time to give your tiny human brain answers you wouldn't understand," he added with a scoff.

"I can understand just fine!" Dib snapped with a glare toward the alien's back, before recalling what Zim said earlier, "Who is that tamerian girl? And who are these lizard gordonas you mentioned earlier?"

With Zim rolling his eyes in response.

"That's Tamaranean and Gordanian, Earth-Monkey!" Zim snipped as he examined his ship, "And they are none of your concern. For Zim will not let any outsiders disturb a planet claimed by the Irken Empire!"

"Hey, you can't just claim my planet like that!" Dib protested.

"Watch me!" Zim laughed defiantly as his ship powered up and took off, quickly flying off towards the direction that the Tamaranean girl had gone.

"Oh no you don't! Come back here!" Dib yelled, chasing after them on foot.

Though as the Earthling chased after the Irken and his robot as they chased after the Tamaranean, the Gordanians were entering Earth's atmosphere, with their sensors picking up unwanted news.

"What do you mean you've detected an Irken ship?!"

 The crew trembled in fear before Lord Trogaar's wrath, the larger than average Gordanian getting up from his throne with a look of rage on his face.

"It is as we said, my lord," one of his subordinates said with a bowed head, "A vessel registering as Irken technology has been detected on the planet below, specifically in the city where the escaped Tamaranean has fled to."

"But it is only a small ship!" another Gordanian quickly added, "It could not possibly contain more than a single Irken!"

"Fool! Is that supposed to make me feel better?!" Trogaar growled, "An Irken operating on their own like this can only mean one thing, an Invader!"

 At that, the Gordanians traded wary looks, understanding their leader's point. After all, the Invaders were the elite of the Irken Empire. Specially trained to infiltrate and bring down entire planets alone for the glory of their Tallest.

 If one was here, then this backwater planet must have somehow caught the interest of the Irken Empire. And if that was the case, they were potentially facing off with an incredibly dangerous figure, maybe even more so than the troq who had escaped them!

"Track this Irken. We will use him to find the Tamaranean, and then hit them with everything we have while they're distracted by each other! And I want the Irken captured alive," Trogaar commanded with a dark grin, "Not only as a potential valuable source of information about those pathetic insects' secrets, but to hold over the heads of the Tallest as both a trophy and proof in the superiority of the Gordanian Empire!"

 Yes, that would more than compensate for the delays that the Tamaranean had caused him. He would not only still be delivering her as a tribute to the Citadel, but also gaining a means to finally one-up those egotistical bugs, and show them who the true dominant species were!

"Yes, my lord!" one of the soldiers declared, before he and the rest scurried to carry out Trogaar's orders. As their leader himself looked out to the city their ship was approaching.

"Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, troq," He said with a low hiss, "Because soon, you and that bug will be spending the rest of your days under the power of the Citadel!"

He said with a dark grin, actually finding himself quite looking forward to this. Perhaps this little setback would truly prove beneficial in the long run after all.

(Doomsville)

As the Gordanian soldiers were proving to move out, Zim was hot on the trail of the Tamaranean.

"GIR... we're supposed to be finding the Tamaranean... not consuming tacos from a primitive Earth mobile vehicle!"

Well... sort of on her trail.

 "But I need tacos, or I'll explode!" GIR whined, standing next to a taco truck on the side of the road, the Voot parked nearby and having been "disguised" as a car by having several pictures of tires taped to its sides, and the two of them back in their own disguises.

"I highly doubt that the Tallest would design you to explode without intaking disgusting human food," Zim said flatly. However, at GIR's pout and watery eyes, he sighed and relented, "Fine, but eat quickly! We have a troq to find before those lizards do!"

 "Yay!" GIR let out an excited cheer before jumping into the taco truck's side window, prompting a scream from the worker inside while Zim simply sighed, rubbing his head.

"Speaking of the Tallest, Zim is sure they'll want a report about all of this immediately once Zim has secured the Tamaranean and dooms those insolent lizards."

After all, what if it was more than an escaped prisoner that brought the Gordanians here? What if the Citadel was also targeting Earth for conquest?! It would make sense that the Irken Empire's enemies would desire to keep valuable planets out of their rightful rule and control, and as the planet chosen for Zim to invade, Earth would of course be highly valuable.

 Hmm, yes, perhaps that was the true reason that the Tallest had sent Zim here! They must have realized in their brilliant leadership brains what the Citadel and their pet lizards were planning, and sent Zim here to counteract them with his own amazing superior incredibleness!

Well, Zim would not let them down. He would force the Tamaranean to tell him everything she knew about the Gordanians, and then crush them like the worms that they were, for the glory of the Irken Empire!

 But first.... he had to find the dang troq and her strangely pleasant lips!... Wait, what did Zim just think?

 As Zim found himself questioning his own thoughts, GIR finished vandalizing the taco truck, popping out of it with his dog costume covered in bits of meat and sauce.

"Bye! Thanks!" he called to the traumatized truck operator, who was curled up in a fetal position on the floor of the mobile kitchen.

"The beans... the beans..." the poor man muttered, wide-eyed in horror.

GIR giggled at this and turned back to his master, whose face was screwed up in thought and who hadn't noticed his robot's return yet. His own attention span quickly drifting away at the lack of recognition, GIR looked around randomly, until his gaze fell on a nearby convenience store, whose front window had been smashed in.

"Oooh~" GIR said excitedly, running over to the store, which snapped Zim out of his distraction.

"Eh? GIR! Get back here!" he demanded, running after his robot.

But GIR didn't listen as he went over to the store, peaking through the shattered front window.

"Look mastah! It's the pretty lady!" GIR cheered, prompting a blink from Zim as he arrived, but looked into the store, and low and behold it was indeed the Tamaranean, devouring Earth snacks wrapper and all like a starving Slaughtering Rat Person.

"Good work, GIR!" Zim said with a wide smirk, "I should know better than to doubt your state of the art tracking systems," He praised, with GIR simply giving a dumb smile.

"Ahhh, she's hungry~"

"Well, she can have all the snacks she wants later, but for now, she must answer to Zim!" he declared, stomping into the store, "Tamaranean! Put down the human food and look to Zim!"

The orange girl, mouth stuffed with multiple chocolate bars, blinked and turned to face Zim upon hearing his voice. Recognizing him, her eyes narrowed, and she forcibly swallowed the food so that she could speak.

"You again?" she asked angrily, "If you do not wish to be destroyed, go away and leave me alone!"

 "Ha! You do not frighten Zim!" Scoffed the Irken as he hopped into the store, with GIR approaching the Tamaranean, "And this planet is marked by Zim's Tallest for invasion, so Zim can't just leave a wild Tamaranean running around, and risk exposure to the Earth-Monkeys," He added with a firm glare to the girl, "So unless YOU!" He pointed accusingly at her, "Wish to be destroyed by Zim, you will follow Zim back to his base and tell me everything you know about the Gordanians and their Citadel masters' plans for Earth!"

 "I know nothing of what those foul noodars or their vile masters might want with this planet, I only came here because it was the nearest world when I escaped from their ship," the Tamaranean scoffed, "And I have no desire to let an Irken of all things tell me what I can and can not do, so begone with you!"

"You dare defy Zim, Tamaranean?" Zim growled, glaring up at her angrily.

"Yes, I do. And my name is Koriand'r, or Starfire as it translates into your language, so you will address me as such, not by my species!" the girl, apparently named Starfire, declared proudly, hands planted on her hips.

 "Zim will address you however Zim pleases!" The Irken retorted, glaring up at her, "Just as he will be taking you as his prisoner!'

 "You are welcome to try," Starfire said with a glare, eyes and hands glowing brightly, "But you will find that I am no easy target!"

 And at that, both Irken and Tamaranean glared at each other, entering battle stances and seemingly ready to reengage their earlier clash, both determined to defeat the other. But before the first attack could be thrown...

"Hi, pretty lady!" GIR's yell filled the air, causing confused blinks before the green dog costume-wearing robot lunged forward, latching onto Starfire's left leg, hugging her as she looked down with a perplexed expression, "I love you ~

Before blinking at GIR's next words as the robot smiled up at her.

"Well, aren't you an adorable bumgorf," She said, bending down and picking him up into a hug, while Zim looked annoyed as GIR giggled.

"GIR! We don't hug our enemies!" Zim exclaimed in annoyance, "We doom them! DOOOM! Hugs only bring doom if you're Squishy, Hugger of Worlds!" He cried out in exasperation while GIR giggled.

"Mastah jealous~" he whispered in a low tone to Starfire as Zim's eye twitch, "You should give him more kisses ~"

 "For the last time, Zim wants no kisses!" Zim snapped.

"What is a kiss?" Starfire asked, blinking in confusion, making Zim look to her in surprise.

"What do you mean, what is a kiss? It's when you put your lips against someone else's, like you did to Zim before!" he exclaimed, feeling his face heat up.

"That was merely me absorbing your language, I do not know why you are being so upset about it," Starfire replied with a frown.

 Zim shot her an incredulous look. Did this troq seriously not know about kissing or its meaning? Even if the Irkens had long abandoned the need for such unnecessary weak relationships, they still knew about the concept from observing other races for weaknesses and such feelings were always a weakness to exploit.

Also, learning the language? Who didn't know Galactic Basic?!

"You expect Zim to believe you honestly don't know what you did by laying your filthy mouth hole on Zim's lips?!" He exclaimed in frustration, "And Tamaranean or not, what kinda backwater barbarian doesn't know Galactic Basic?!"

"Who are you calling a barbarian?" Starfire demanded angrily, "Everyone knows you Irkens are mindless bloodthirsty savages!"

"You dare insult a superior being?!" Zim demanded, just as angrily, "You should feel honored to even be breathing the same air as Zim!"

"Honored? Like you even know the meaning of the word!" Starfire huffed out.

"As if Zim would care about something so stupid and useless in the first place!" Zim snapped back, and as an argument started between the two, a very large head was peaking into the pet store, observing everything.

"So... they are enemies?" Dib asked himself, very confused by what he was seeing, "Or is this just weird alien courtship stuff? I mean, Zim said his people don't do that, but he's evil so he might have been lying about that... No, never mind, it doesn't matter! I need to take them both down while they're distracted by each other! Then I expose both of them to everyone! And not only will the Earth be saved, but everyone will see I was right about the alien menace. I just... need to think of a plan here."

He muttered with a grimace, because the old saying to defeat one's enemy, one must know ones enemy came to mind here... only problem was... he didn't exactly know that much about either of them. I mean, they both showed up today! Zim enrolling in his class like nothing, and than the alien girl crashing down and trashing the city. Didn't exactly give him much time to do any data gathering or research on this threat... but he couldn't afford to waste time! Even if he didn't know much beyond Zim having advanced technology at hand, including one very strange robot, and the girl herself being VERY strong. He had to think of a way to bring them both down... but how?

"Urg, if that gnome hadn't destroyed my only pair of alien sleep cuffs, I could have at least managed to take one of them down... knew I should have ordered a backup pair from that magazine," Dib said with a grimace. He'd have to find something else, but what?

While Dib was desperately considering his options, Zim and Starfire were still arguing.

"You are nothing but an arrogant zar'pyak!" Starfire spat, glaring down at Zim.

"Zim doesn't know what a zar'pyak is, but Zim is sure it's better than being a savage rat beast!" Zim snapped back.

"How dare you?!" Starfire's eyes glowed as she unconsciously held GIR up against her chest, barely even remembering he was there, "I should..."

Her words were cut off as Dib finally made his move.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Which amounted to grabbing a nearby loose brick as he ran into the building and threw it with all his might straight at Starfire... with it missing her and instead hitting the wall behind her, causing Starfire and Zim to blink and turned confused annoyed gazes toward Dib, who suddenly froze, realizing... that this was perhaps not the best plan.

"Uhhh... don't suppose either of you would be willing to surrender in the name of the Earth, would you?" He asked with a nervous grin, feeling like such a moron right now as Zim and Starfire just gave him annoyed looks.

"Dib-Monkey! Do you not see Zim has greater things to worry about than your overlarge cranium?!" Zim snapped.

"His head is rather large, yes..." Starfire said, having to give the Irken that point, "Who is he, and do all the natives possess such large heads?" she questioned with a frown.

"My head's not that big!" Dib protested with frustration.

"Please, it's twice the size of your body!" Zim sneered, "And yet despite that, you're somehow brainless enough to continually interfere with things far beyond your capacity!"

"He is correct, this does not concern you, go away," Starfire added with a nod.

"You're both on my planet, that makes it my problem!" Dib declared.

 "Grr, you really need to learn to keep your big head out of the business of your superiors, Dib-Monkey!" Zim snapped, glaring at him.

"First off, you wouldn't be superior to me anyway in a million years," Dib retorted, glaring at Zim, "And secondly, there's not a single thing that would make me regret stepping in and stopping alien menaces like you!"

He said as heroically as he could, and as if waiting for his very words...

BOOM

The wall to the side exploded, sending them all flying back as a group of Gordanians charged in, "Capture the Tamaranean and Irken at all costs! Destroy anything that stands in your way!"

It was at this point that Dib realized he was standing between the Gordanians and the others.

"Uh-oh," he muttered, before screaming as the Gordanians started charging towards him.

 "You will not take me again!" Starfire roared at the same time, slinging out some energy bolts from her hands at the same time as Zim deployed his PAK legs.

"GIR, destroy our enemies!" He cried out as he lunged toward one Gordanian.

"Yes, my master!" GIR said, saluting in his more serious robotic tone... before charging forward, running crazily, "Waaaaaaahooooooo!"

 He then rammed into a Gordanian's leg, only to bounce off and land on his back.

"I'm a turtle!" he yelled happily, flailing his arms and legs in the air while the Gordanian blinked and looked down at him in confusion.

"Uh... is this thing even a threat?" he awkwardly asked his comrades, who were torn between dodging Zim and Starfire's attacks and chasing a screaming Dib around.

 "Beats me, but better capture it along with the Irken and Tamaranean just to be safe," One replied with a shrug as the first reached down to awkwardly grab the creature.

Only for GIR to immediately leap up in the air and unzip his costume, revealing his true robotic self.

"Defensive mode initiated!" He shouted with red eyes as rockets and laser blasters were deployed out of his head, prompting wide eyes from the gathered Gordanians, "Destroy all threats!" Before letting out screams as GIR immediately opened fire.

 BOOM

BOOM

BOOM

Lasers and missiles fired in every direction, blowing up the Gordanians... and everything else in sight, for that matter.

"Zim! Tell your stupid robot to aim right!" Dib yelled, barely dodging a laser.

"HA! And why would Zim do that?!" The Irken called out with a mocking smirk, "After all, if you're blown up with the lizards, then that's one less problem Zim has to deal with as he continues his invasion."

"While I do not agree with the callousness, large head boy, he is right that since you are an enemy, we are not obligated to care about your safety," Starfire stated as she casually blasted a Gordanian away from her.

"For the last time, my head's not big!" Dib snapped, dodging behind a shelf just before it got blown up.

"I believe this is what they call the denial, yes?" Starfire questioned as Zim lifted up one Gordanian with his PAK legs.

"Zim just met Dib-Monkey today, but he is quite the deluded type, yes," The Irken agreed, before throwing the Gordanian toward Starfire, who blasted at the poor fool, sending his smoking form flying out to land on a couple more of his comrades with a pained groan.

"Not bad, not as impressive as Zim of course, but not bad," Zim remarked the next moment with a hum.

"You are also not so bad, for an arrogant vrothmierg," Starfire replied with a smirk.

"Zim doesn't know what that means, but I will take it as a compliment," he scoffed while offhandedly blasting another Gordanian. With Starfire, despite herself, letting out a giggle as she punched a Gordanian soldier back, launching him toward the wall with a pained groan before joining the rather loud Irken in glorious battle.

While Dib continued to hide and observe behind the shelf.

"Urg... come on, Membrane... you want to be a hero... real heroes don't cower from combat," Dib muttered, poking his head out, only to let out a yelp from dodging a laser blast, with him letting out a groan.

"What am I even doing here?" He wondered out loud with a depressed scowl, "All I've done is embarrass myself... maybe Gaz had a point. Maybe I am just in over my head, and should just leave things be..."

"Mwuhahahaha! That's right, lizards, feel the wrath of Zim, who is soon to conquer Earth because no one can stop me!" Zim cackled as he fought, Dib tensing up at the weirdly specific wording.

 But at the same time, the words echoed through his mind, if not his very soul. No one can stop him... stop Zim... no one... but him, he realized with a scowl. Because like it or not, however ridiculous the alien's disguise was... it was working. No one saw Zim as anything but a weird kid with a weird skin condition.

He might just be some kid with a love of the paranormal... but if he just gave up... if he just called it quits and let this alien do whatever he wanted, then there would really be nothing standing in Zim's way. He could destroy and conquer to his heart's content while continuing his facade of a "normal earth child", Dib thought with a grimace, clenching his fists.

 He couldn't allow that! No matter how overwhelmed or terrified he was, he couldn't just give up! He had to keep fighting to save the Earth, no matter what it took!

BOOM

...though maybe he'd let Zim and Starfire handle the current problem first, he thought with a flinch as another explosion ripped through the store.

 "Hahahaha, that makes 14 for Zim. I bet you haven't beaten even half as many!" Speaking of, Zim had just leapt up and brought his PAK legs down, pinning one Gordanian before taking their own energy staff to give them a painful shock.

 "Actually, this one is 16 for me," Starfire replied smugly, holding one Gordanian up by his neck, before throwing him into the wall hard enough to smash a hole into it that the lizard was left dangling halfway out of.

"What?!" Zim exclaimed, outraged at losing this impromptu competition. He looked around for more Gordanians to attack, only to curse as he saw that there weren't any left.

 "Yeah, well... Zim wasn't even trying!" The Irken huffed with crossed arms, "In fact, Zim basically let you win. After all, these are Gordanians hardly worth the effort of Zim using his full might!'

"Of course, as you say," Starfire said with a nod. Zim narrowed his eyes at her, unable to tell if she was being sarcastic or not. But before he could say anything, Dib popped up from where he had been taking cover, looking around in concern.

"Is it over?" he asked, getting the alien pair's attention.

"Are you still here, Dib-Monkey?" Zim sneered, "Go away already so Zim can focus on things that actually matter!"

"I'm not leaving, Zim," Dib snapped back with a glare, "Because wherever alien menaces threaten innocent Earth-loving humans, I'll be there," He vowed with a clenched look while Zim and Starfire actually found themselves trading looks, "So how about you tell me what this is all about, if these creeps really aren't with you."

Dib added with a frown, "And why the heck all you aliens are suddenly showing up to attack my planet, on the same day no less?" He added with a glare toward Zim and... his girlfriend... ally of convenience?

"We're throwing a pizza party!" Before letting out a startled cry as a small form tackle his head from the side.

"AH! Ambush!" Dib screamed as he started flailing around blindly, trying to dislodge GIR from his head.

"GIR, for the last time, we're not throwing a pizza party!" Zim yelled as his minion, even as he found the situation amusing, "But do keep doing that, Zim finds it very entertaining~"

"His head's so big and squishy! I wanna live inside it!" GIR exclaimed happily.

"No way! Get off!" Dib yelled, finally managing to grab GIR and pull him off, throwing him aside before turning back to Zim with a glare, "And stop trying to distract me with your crazy robot! Tell me what's happening, right now!"

"Zim was actually in the middle of getting answers before you and the lizards showed up, distracting Zim!" The Irken snapped with one last glare toward Dib before turning his attention back to the Tamaranean, who herself seemed to have a look of both befuddlement and amusement. But at Zim's words, she groaned.

"As I explained earlier, zar'pyak, I have no knowledge of any plans these foul noodars..." she shot a glare at the various knocked out forms of the Gordanians, "Or their masters for this planet."

She said, crossing her arms, "This was simply the closest planet after escaping..." She frowned with a forlorn look, "I am a prize for them."

 "A prize? Wait, you mean like a slave?" Dib asked, confusion giving way to horror as he processed that statement.

"Yes, to be given to tribute to their masters at the Citadel," Starfire added with a scowl, "I managed to break free and escape their ship, and fled to this world, but it would appear that they will not easily give me up."

 "And these Citadel guys are...?" Dib asked warily, a part of him intrigued and eager for information at what powers and threats existed out in the stars.

"Not nice," Starfire stated in turn rather bluntly with a look of scorn, while Zim simply scoffed, "Nothing more than a pitiful coalition of clones who think themselves an Empire, when they and their progenitor are nothing before the glory of the Irken Empire and the Tallest!"

"...Your leaders are just taller than everybody?" Dib asked, looking at Zim incredulously.

"Yes, because that's the superior way of doing things, obviously! But enough about telling you things that your tiny brain cannot comprehend! We have more important things to worry about! These fools were merely the first wave..." Zim said, gesturing toward the prone Gordanian forms, "and it's only a matter of time until..."

His words were cut off by the sounds of a loud noise.

"What's that noise?" Dib asked warily, already knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

"It's the pizza, the pizza!" Before flinching and looking toward a yell from Zim's crazy robot, who was now outside the store window, looking up into the sky, with the three inside trading looks.

"I do not know what this pizza is, but I highly doubt that is what we are hearing," Starfire said slowly as she approached the shattered front window, with Dib and Zim following her before they all looked up into the sky to find the large Gordanian battleship looming over the city. With Dib in particular giving a stunned stare; this was a moment out of his deepest dreams and validations, but also straight out of his nightmares.

"Well..." the human nervously licked his lips, "At least everyone will know aliens are real now."

He said mostly to himself, trying to look on the bright side in this, not denying its dire situation.

 "Oh look dear, they must be filming a movie!" a woman commented to her husband as they walked past.

"Eh, the special effects could be better, you can see the strings from here," her husband scoffed.

"Seriously?" Dib deadpanned, eye twitching at this. First people not seeing through Zim's disguise, now this! Was he the only one with any common sense?! THAT WAS AN ACTUAL ALIEN WAR SHIP! WHY WEREN'T PEOPLE PANICKING?!

And as he asked himself this, a giant hologram was projected from the ship, displaying an alien form that even though identical to the other Gordanians, felt a lot more menacing, and was recognized by Starfire.

"Trogaar..." she hissed with glaring glowing eyes toward the hologram of her captors' leader as he addressed the city.

"Hear this, Earth scum!" Trogaar called out with a dark glare, "Your planet is harboring both a prisoner and hostile enemy agent to the Gordanian Empire and the Citadel."

He narrowed his eyes, glaring, "You have one chance to surrender them and your planet into the authority of the Citadel, or you shall face annihilation!"

 As he said this, his ship angled down so that its main cannon was aiming directly at the city, glowing ominously.

"You have one hour! Surrender them, or you all will die!" Trogaar declared, before his hologram cut off, leaving an ominous silence for several minutes until Zim broke it.

"Eh, Zim's seen bigger doom weapons," he said with a shrug, Dib turning to glare at him incredulously.

"Are you serious? We're all about to die, and all you can do is critique how it's going to happen?!" he yelled.

 "Calm yourself Dib-Head," Zim said with a scoff, with Dib giving an annoyed look at that particular nickname, "The only one who will be dooming anyone here is Zim," The Irken said with a glare, "And of course Zim will critique such sloppy work, the lizards should be thankful to receive Zim's amazing insight."

 "Actually, I must agree with the zor'duni. Now is not the time to be commenting on the Gordanians' tactics, we must fight them!" Starfire declared.

"Yes, yes, don't worry, Zim will deal with these lizards," Zim said offhandedly, "Like I said, no one will conquer or destroy this planet but Zim!"

 "Yeah? And what exactly is your plan? Going up to them, while screaming your name?" Dib asked with a dry tone.

 "No, by going up there and DOOMING THEM!" Zim exclaimed, raising his fists dramatically. When that just got him confused looks, he sighed and clarified, "Obviously, Zim means blowing them up! It's not that complicated!"

 "Oh sure, just go straight up to the alien warship, pass all the alien soldiers, and just blow it up before they blow up the city!" Dib snapped back in frustration, "Sounds real simple space bug!"

"Don't call Zim a bug, you huge-headed primitive primate!" Zim snapped, and at that Dib's frustration snapped, as he tackled Zim to the ground with a yell.

"My head's not big!" He screamed, and the next moment they were rolling and fighting on the ground as Starfire watched with a nonplussed look.

"Aww, mastah and Big Head are playing."

Before giving a blink as GIR spoke up next to her leg.

 "This is considered play on this planet? Hmm, it reminds me of home," Starfire said with a nostalgic smile, before shaking her head with a frown, "But now is not the time for play! We must defeat the Gordanians at once!"

And with that she picked up GIR, placing him on her shoulder, before grabbing and lifting up Zim and Dib in her right and left hands specifically.

"Hey!"

"Release Zim!"

The two barely had a chance to protest before Starfire launched herself up into the air, moving to fly straight toward the ship.

"Wait, are you?" Dib suddenly realized what the alien girl was doing, while also casting a nervous look down to the ground, "We can't just fly straight up to the ship! They'll blast us straight out of the sky!'

"They will have to hit us first!" Starfire said with a cocky smirk, continuing to fly towards the ship. As they approached, it started firing at them, and Starfire expertly swerved around the energy blasts, dodging each of them with ease.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

"WHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

And all the while, Zim and Dib screamed for their lives, while GIR laughed excitedly. 

Of course, Starfire's approach did not go unnoticed.

"Sir, it's the Tamaranean!" the bridge personnel reported to Trogaar.

"Grr, blast her down! Deploy the soldiers! Just bring me that troq and insect!" He snarled out his order with a dark glare.

 "Yes sir!" the soldier manning the ship's weapons replied with a salute, increasing the rate of fire at the approaching figures, while many soldiers started flying out of the ship and towards them. Which of course didn't go unnoticed by their targets.

"Incoming!" Dib yelled in panic as he saw the approaching Gordanians.

"Hang on!" Starfire yelled, increasing her speed and heading right towards the approaching enemies.

 "Aaaaaaaah! Zim is completely absolutely not terrified!" The Irken screamed in her hand as she did so, his slightly freaked expression saying otherwise, "Zim shall doom those lizards!'

 With that, he deployed his PAK legs and started firing plasma blasts blindly in every direction.

ZAP

ZAP

ZAP

"AAAAGGGHHH!"

And shockingly, a few shots actually hit some of the Gordanians, blasting them out of the sky.

 "Let us face glorious battle!" Starfire screamed as she met some of the Gordanians who weren't hit in midair, kicking one hard in the chin before pulling the arm holding Dib back.

"Wait! What are you doing?!" Dib called, suddenly looking very worried, if not freaked out.

"Show no fear! Show the Gordanians the might of your big head!" Starfire yelled, adjusting her grip on Dib before lashing out to use the Earth boy as a melee weapon, while Zim continue to open fire in her other hand.

 "My head's not-!"

SMACK

"AH!" Dib yelled in pain as his head slammed into one of the Gordanians, sending the lizard flying backwards.

 And so, with an Irken and human in hand as both an improvised long range and short range weapon, Starfire engaged her enemies in glorious combat!

"Raaaaggggg!" The Tamaranean let out a fierce battle cry, knocking back any Gordanian within arm's reach with the use of the big-headed one's very large head, while the Irken fired from his back device legs.

ZAP

ZAP

ZAP

"URGG!" Was the pained cry of one Gordanian as he was blasted down, while Zim got into his groove, laughing maniacally.

"Hahahahaha! Yes, cower before Zim, you pathetic lizards! Cower before your doom!" Zim exclaimed with a large grin, with part of Starfire finding the zar'pyak's passion for battle most admirable.

Perhaps the Irken could back up some of his arrogance after all, she thought fleetingly as she used Dib as a mallet, bashing in the head of one Gordanian, who plummeted down to the ground below.

Where the aerial fight had actually been noticed.

"Man, not sure what kinda movie they're filming, but the special effects don't look half bad," Remarked one of Zim's classmates Chunk as he bit into a hot dog, while his friend Brian just shrugged as he bit into his own dog, the boys among many looking up into the sky.

"I guess so. Honestly, sci-fi and supernatural movies are kinda spoiled for me because of Dib," he said with a grunt as Chunk nodded.

"Eh, could see that, but still good entertainment. Only loons like Dib would actually believe that's a real alien ship instead of a movie prop," he said with a snort, with Brian nodding.

"Yeah, honestly surprised he's not running through the city screaming it's the end of the world or something," he said, with the boys giving a laugh, because honestly, who actually believed in aliens? They asked themselves, while high above them on the top of one of the nearby skyscrapers, two forms were observing everything.

"I feared this day would come, Zita," Spoke the form of a black haired man wearing a trench coat and suit with tie, lowering a pair of high tech-looking binoculars, revealing a pair of dark shades hiding his eyes. As he addressed the smaller form next to him as they observed the aerial melee on a building rooftop.

"And what day would that be, Uncle Bill?" Asked the purple-haired girl that Dib would recognize immediately as another of his classmates Zita, wearing a tired, annoyed, and exasperated expression on her face.

"The day my archenemy Count Cocofang contacts heinous beings from beyond the stars, to help him spread his cereal brainwashing evil across the universe!" he said dramatically with a clenched fist as Zita facepalmed beside him.

Of all the uncles in the world... she got the one that made Dib look like a competent model of sanity, she thought with a groan, regretting not for the first time she let her mom convince her to join Uncle Bill on his "hobby outings" as she called them for family bonding.

"And yet you always avoid avoid him on Thanksgiving, and never go on an outing with him for family bonding yourself, Mom," Zita muttered and grumbled under her breath.

 "Come Zita, we must get to my bunker and prepare to fight back after the invasion!" Bill declared, grabbing Zita and dragging her away, the girl letting him do so rather than try to fight it.

"And by "bunker", you mean that shed behind your house that's covered in cardboard panelling for some reason?" she asked with another sigh.

"Of course. Cardboard naturally blocks out the brainwashing waves from the cereal that Cocofang and his alien scum allies will flood the city with," Bill stated as if this were obvious, "Why do you think cereal boxes are made from the stuff? It's to keep everyone oblivious to what that filth can do until it's too late!"

"Obviously. How did I not know that?" Zita asked, face utterly deadpan. God, she hoped her uncle and Dib never met, it would be unbearable!

 "You can blame Cocofang's puppets in the educational system keeping you and all your classmates ignorant and placated for that," Her uncle replied, his tone utterly serious, with Zita's brow twitching at those words, "Fortunately I'm here to help you see the truth of the world, and to make sure you are prepare to face the cruel evil chocolate goodness hiding in the shadows."

He said, his tone filled with determination, while Zita just looked at him in exasperation. Yes, Dib could never meet her uncle, she thought with a groan, because for all she knew she'd have to deal with both of them on the regular together if they did, she thought as her uncle pulled her away to take her to his so-called bunker.

Though speaking of her classmate...

WHAM

"Urg!"

BAM

"Arg!"

He was currently experiencing the beginning of a concussion, with his face all bruised from continued use of it to bash against evil aliens.

"But I wanted the last pizza slice, Gaz..." He groaned in a slight delirious state.

 "Remain conscious, Dib-Monkey, otherwise you'll be even more useless than you already are!" Zim yelled dismissively as he kept firing at the Gordanian soldiers, before turning to Starfire, "But Zim must reluctantly admit, we cannot keep this up forever! We must get to the ship and end this!"

"Agreed! Hang on!" Starfire said, using Dib to knock aside another Gordanian before putting on a burst of speed and zooming towards the ship, ignoring the yells from her unwitting passengers (and excited screaming from GIR) as she did so.

"Incoming!" a Gordanian on the ship's bridge yelled in panic as Starfire got close, before smashing through the bridge's viewscreen with a smash.

 "Trogaar, I have come to end this!" Starfire bellowed upon arrival, glaring at the form of the large Gordanian sitting on his command chair fashioned into a throne, as if he wasn't but a mere servant to the monsters of the Citadel.

"Have you now?" Trogaar asked with a glare, "Well, I'm afraid..."

His words were cut off by GIR shouting and waving from Starfire's shoulder, "Hi pizza man!" Prompting a nonplused look from Gordanian as the bridge crew exchange confused glances, "Where's my pizza! I want it with the piggy on it, the piggy!"

 "What? What nonsense is this?" Trogaar demanded, confused and outraged by the ridiculous statement.

Zim, meanwhile, was about to scold GIR for once again demanding the nonexistent pizza, only to pause when an idea came to him. Smirking, he said, "GIR, the lizard is hiding the pizza in his armor! You should search him for it!"

Trogaar blinked at that, only for GIR to give a high-pitched squeal and launch himself through the air at the Gordanian lord.

"I want my pizza!" the robot yelled as he hit Trogaar and started scrambling over him like a deranged monkey.

 "Yes, tremble before the might of state of the art Irken technology!" Zim called out with a cackle, while Trogaar roared, trying and failing to grab onto GIR, "Get off me, you insane TROG!'

 "How dare you insult that adorable bumgorf like that?!" Starfire gasped in outrage at hearing the slur. Eyes flashing with her anger, she dropped the boys to the floor and charged at Trogaar, with her fists glowing with concentrated energy.

BAM

Caught off guard, Trogaar was hit directly in the face by Starfire's empowered fist, sending him flying out of his throne to fly across the room and hit the far wall. GIR, meanwhile, was knocked off of him and landed in her arms.

"Aw, I couldn't find the pizza," he whined.

"Don't worry, little one. I do not know what this pizza is, but I will get you some after we are victorious," Starfire said, patting GIR on the head.

"YAY! Thanks, pretty lady!" GIR cried out, latching onto her side in a hug, causing Starfire to giggle while Zim watched with a slight frown, part of him annoyed that GIR was getting cozy with a confirmed hostile... but another part of him was strangely pleased.

Perhaps the crazy robot might prove useful in securing the Tamaranean into Zim's glorious service, he thought with a smirk while Dib rose up from the floor beside him.

"Did we win yet?" The boy asked with a pained groan while rubbing his sore face.

"Of course we've won, the Tamaranean knocked out the leader with one attack," Zim scoffed, also standing up, "And since they're facing the might of Invader Zim, the greatest warrior of the Irken Empire, the rest will surely throw themselves at Zim's nonexistent mercy."

The Irken added, smirking at all the personnel on the bridge, who traded looks. However, before any of them could even consider doing as Zim said, an angry yell sounded out from across the room.

"RAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!" Trogaar roared as he got back to his feet, face twisted in rage, "ENOUGH! I am Trogaar, Lord of the Gordanians! I will not be defeated by a handful of lower lifeforms!"

"Well, Tigger..." Zim called out in reply, entering a battle stance, with Trogaar growling with a glare as he stomped forward.

"Trogaar!" he corrected with a threat in his tone.

"Zim does not care! For Zim is Invader Zim! Elite of the Irken Empire and favorite Invader of the Tallest themselves! And Zim shall doom you for daring to target a world claimed by the Irkens!" Zim shouted defiantly.

"Okay, one, not your world, and two, as soon as these creeps are stopped, you're next, Zim," Dib said, his dizziness starting to fade as he shot the Irken a glare.

 "Yes, yes, Dib-Stink, Zim is very scared of you and your big head that's good for hitting things with," Zim scoffed, smirking at Dib's glare, "Now be quiet and let the more evolved species handle things."

"I really hate you," Dib grumbled, but nonetheless stepped back. He may not like it, but he wasn't ready to personally fight something like Trogaar. Not yet, at least, he told himself as he quietly swore to make himself more prepared for the action that was now in his life. He swore he'd find a way to tilt the odds in his favor... hmm, maybe he could see if his dad had anything he could borrow for more firepower?

 As Dib was considering this, Trogaar gave a snarl and charged towards Zim, who dodged out of the way, leaving the Gordanian lord's fists to hit the floor. Trogaar growled and turned to face the direction that Zim had gone, only for Starfire to swoop in and punch him in the face again before he could do anything.

"Troq!" Trogaar snarled, glaring at her, "You have proven more trouble than you are worth!"

"Then perhaps you should not have taken me from my world," she glared back at him.

 "Taken you~" Trogaar seemed amused, taking a step forward to loom over the glaring Tamaranean, and at Starfire's words gave a cruel laugh.

"Foolish Troq! You were given to us!" He proclaimed, before bringing both his closed fists down in an attempt to crush her.

"Lies!" Starfire proclaimed, leaping back while launching energy bolts, or rather star-bolts, to her foe.

"Heh~ You should be more careful of who you trust, savage~" Trogaar hissed back, raising an arm to block the attack while bellowing out an order, "All soldiers, eliminate these intruders! But keep the Irken alive!" He barked, before adding with a dark grin, "The troq savage can be destroyed with the rest of this primitive city to serve as an example of the price for defying the Gordanians!"

 With a chorus of battle cries, the Gordanians charged towards the allied group. Dib gave a yelp and backed away in panic, but Zim and Starfire just scoffed.

"Please, you think you are actually a threat to Zim?" he sneered, bringing out his PAK legs and firing into the crowd.

"Yes, this is growing quite tedious," Starfire agreed, also launching star-bolts at the soldiers.

 "Indeed, the lizards are nothing more than meat shields and grunts for the Citadel, nothing compared to warriors like Zim!" He proclaimed, launching himself up to kick one down while blasting from his PAK legs.

"And you as well, I suppose," he added over his shoulder, "For a Tamaranean, you certainly fight better than a number of my fellow Invaders I could name," Zim said with a scoff, "Though the fact you let yourself be captured by fools this pathetic is just sad."

He arched a brow as Starfire punched one Gordanian in the stomach before blasting him off with a close range star-bolt that caused him to hit two of his fellow soldiers as they hit the ground hard, "Did you agree to some ridiculous honor duel? I know your people follow a foolish honor code."

 "First of all, do not insult my honor," Starfire replied with a frown, while grabbing the wrist of a Gordanian who tried to punch at her and flipping him over her, "Secondly, I was caught off guard in an ambush and captured without having a chance to fight back."

"Oh. Well, Zim supposes that he can't blame you for that then," he said, while offhandedly blasting a Gordanian in the face. Missing Starfire's frown as she recalled Trogaar's words about her being given to them... and how the ambush in retrospect seemed a bit too perfect and sudden... but she couldn't believe the foul vilgoth's words! He was nothing but a spawn of a gluttonous blurbel gornoxian beast! She thought with a slight scowl, before casting curious eyes on the Irken. What she knew painted them in a worse light than the Citadel... which itself was not something to say lightly. But despite his displayed arrogance... a part of Starfire was growing impressed with his passion and skill.

"I must admit, for someone so small you are quite skilled," Starfire remarked, idly dodging a spear thrust from one Gordanian before grabbing the same spear and launching the fool out the broken bridge window with it while blasting his back with a star-bolt at the same time, "What I know of your people did not speak of them as warriors."

 "How dare you?" Zim gasped in annoyance, leaping over a Gordanian's head before blasting him in the back, "Irkens are the greatest warriors in the universe!"

"But you just infiltrate planets and subjugate them, rather than facing them head on!" Starfire protested, while throwing her stolen spear at another Gordanian, sending him flying with a cry.

"Do you have any idea how much skill it takes to undermine a planet by yourself?" Zim demanded, looking offended. After all, other races across the cosmos required whole armies to subjugate a planet, or perhaps even an entire organization worth of infiltrators for planets. Irkens had truly mastered the art of conquest, requiring only one skilled Invader to bring a planet to its knees, and prepare it for the arrival of the Armada!

However, Starfire merely frowned.

"Working alone against an entire planet is impressive, yes," she said, launching several star-bolts at the horde of attacking Gordanians while Troogar watched from the back with a growing scowl as he approached his throne's control panel, beginning to see the tides turn against his men.

"But there is no true glory in a victory gained from trickery alone, rather than true combat," she said with a frown.

"And yet trickery is enough to conquer planet after planet, or even capture a warrior of your skill," Zim retorted.

Starfire scowled at that, not enjoying the comparison. However, before she could say anything, an alarm sounded out.

"Main cannon armed," an electronic voice recited, as the temporarily-allied trio turned to see Trogaar was by the console, a fist slammed down on the activation button for the cannon.

"You fools might defeat my soldiers, but I'll at least destroy this city of yours!" he cackled.

 "Nooo! You can't do that!" Dib called out in shock and despair at the idea of his city... his home... Dad, Gaz, his friends... okay, on the last bit he didn't really have any friends, but still!

"I can and have~" Trogaar said with a menacing smirk.

"Grr, do you have any idea how annoying it would be for Zim to move his base because you blew it up!"

However while Dib was horrified... Zim was more annoyed than anything while glaring at Trogaar.

"Do you really think the Tallest will stand for this act of sabotage against their favorite Invader?!" Zim proclaimed grandly, with Trogaar scoffed.

"What care have I for how those two fools will react," he said with a dark smirk, "In the end, they and the rest of you insects will be crushed under the boot of the Citadel."

He said as he stepped forward, popping his knuckles, "Just like I'm going to crush you, that filthy troq, that big-headed primate..." He said, with Dib exclaiming out in annoyance, "Oh come on! Why does everyone keep bringing up my head today?!"

He said, caught between annoyance and the horror at his situation, but he was ignored as Trogaar continued.

"And that malfunctioning..." the Gordanian commander trailed off, as he realized something very important, "Wait a click... where is that robot!?" He demanded, looking around the bridge, realizing that he was so focused on the Irken and Tamaranean he'd lost sight of the Irken's machine!

 "Ooh, what's this do?" GIR's voice called out. Everyone turned to face it, and saw that the robot had pulled open a console and was messing around with the wiring inside.

"Get away from there, you pile of scraps!" Trogaar snarled, lunging at GIR, only for Starfire to blast him in the back with a star-bolt before tackling him.

 "You shall not harm that precious bumgorf!" Starfire cried heatedly as she started punching and hitting as hard as she could, eagerly embracing the chance to finally lash out all her frustration on her captor, and as this was happening Dib realized this was their chance.

"Zim, quick! Get your robot to disarm the cannon!" Dib cried out hurriedly, looking toward the Irken as he stepped toward him, figuring the crazy robot was still an advanced piece of alien robotics, so could probably hack the ship's systems... right?

"Zim does not take orders from you, Dib-Monkey! Why should Zim bother with the lizards' stupid cannon!" Before getting an annoyed look at Zim's retort.

"Because it'll blow up the entire city!" Dib exclaimed in disbelief, "Including your base!"

He added at the Irken's bored look, which turned to a scowl that got deeper at Dib-Monkey's next words, "And if he blows up your base, than I guess that means Irkens aren't so superior to, um... Gordanians after all."

Dib said, trailing off for a moment while trying to remember the species' name that was dropped earlier.

"Grrr, fine! But Zim's doing it because Zim simply doesn't want to go through the trouble of finding a new location to set up base! Not because you told Zim to!" The Irken snapped with an annoyed huff, before calling out to his robot, "GIR! Zim needs you to..." He was cut off as electrical current suddenly sparked out around the robot as GIR bit into the wires.

"Heheh, it tickles~" the menace giggled with the wires in his mouth, and soon the ship jerked off to the side, tilting at the same time.

 "Ah! Does that stupid robot even know what it's doing?!" Dib demanded as the ship started jerking from side to side.

"Obviously he does, and your stupid human brain just can't comprehend it!" Zim snapped, while stabbing his PAK legs into the floor to brace himself.

"Grah! Computer, begin firing sequence!" Trogaar snarled, while grabbing Starfire and tossing her away, only for her to catch herself in midair and come after him again.

 "You will fall today, Trogaar!" She snarled in rage and determination.

"Urg... and I'll be bringing you down with me, you troq!" the Gordanian snapped, lashing out to punch her, with Starfire dodging to the side before lashing out with a high kick straight to his chin, sending him stumbling back.

But his order had still gone through, as the ship's main cannon was set to fire...

"NOOO! NOT DOOMSVILLE!" Dib cried out desperately.

"Hehehe~ Look at all the pretty sparkles!" And GIR cheered as more electrical energy surged and sparks went off on the mainframe, with the ship not only continuing to tilt but turn upside down.

 And soon enough, it was completely turned over... which happened to leave the cannon pointing directly upwards into the sky instead of down at the city. And just as everyone onboard was realizing this, the cannon fired, its beam of destructive energy shooting up high into the atmosphere.

"Ha! Take that, filthy fail lizard! Victory for Zim!" Zim cackled as he watched the beam pass harmlessly into space.

BOOM

Until it hit the moon, blowing a chunk out of it and leaving a massive crater in its surface.

...

...

...

"...Eh, it looks better like that," Zim said after a moment of everyone staring at what had just happened in shock.

 Dib's eye twitched, because today... was really not turning out as well as he envisioned as Earth's brave hero.

"Maybe no one will notice..." He said weakly, really not wanting to take the blame for this, and internally hoping this wouldn't cause any problems...

(Elsewhere, coastal island)

"Dude..." said one blonde-haired surfer dude to his bro.

"Dude..." returned the bro with a smile, both of them currently sitting on surfboards, enjoying a day of surfing, before a strange feeling filled the air.

"Dude..." the blonde-haired surfer looked around confused, thinking he had heard something.

"Dude?" asked the bro with a concerned look.

"Dude..." the blonde-haired surfer waved it off, before a shadow loomed over them.

"Dudeeeeee!" Said the bro with alarm as he turned around and spotted the MASSIVE WAVE HEADING STRAIGHT TOWARD THEM!

"DUDEEEEEEEEEEE!" Was the shared cry of alarm as they were swept up by the wave that quickly hit the island they lived on, sending it the way of Atlantis.

 Just one of many islands and coastal areas that would be devastated as the change to the moon's size affected the planet's tides... but that doesn't affect the main story, so we won't be dwelling on it.

(Back on the ship)

"Your plan has failed, Trogaar!" Starfire declared, blasting the Gordanian lord in the chest, "Surrender, and perhaps I will be merciful!"

 "Surrender...?" Trogaar repeated, hand to his chest as he snarled, "I will never surrender to a filthy troq like you!" He roared, with Starfire glaring at the response, "If I die, I'll make sure you and these vermin die with me!"

 "Wait, what?!" Dib exclaimed, gaze snapping to Trogaar as he revealed a hidden button on his gauntlet and pressed it.

"Self-destruct sequence activated," the ship's computer declared as alarms started blaring.

 "Are you crazy?!" Dib screamed, his hands going to his head.

 "Perhaps I am, primate, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you all die with me!" Trogaar cackled madly.

 "Zim is not dying today, lizard!" Bellowed the Irken as he opened fire from his PAK legs.

The attack hit Trogaar head on and sent him scrambling back, with Starfire's followup attack knocking him on his back.

"Abandon ship!" one of the remaining Gordanians yelled, he and the few still conscious leaping out of the hole in the viewscreen and flying away. Something that didn't go unnoticed by their master as he got back to his feet.

"Cowards!" he screamed after them.

 "It seems your soldiers are wiser than you, to flee before Zim!" Cackled the Irken at the sight as Trogaar snarled.

"I will take great pleasure in killing you insect, before I face my own demise like a true Gordanian," he said with a clenched fist.

"So, begging for mercy and attempting to save your own cowardly skin, yes?" Starfire questioned with an arched brow. That made Trogaar even angrier than he already was, and he lunged at Starfire with a snarl.

"Shouldn't we be trying to get off the exploding ship too?!" Dib yelled in panic.

"Go ahead, Dib-Monkey, the exit's right there," Zim said, waving offhandedly to the hole in the screen while focusing on Trogaar and Starfire's fight, looking for an opening to exploit.

"You want me to jump?! We're miles in the sky!" Dib snapped, glaring at the Irken.

 "I'm sure your massive head will absorb most of the impact," Zim said back with an uncaring shrug as Dib's eye twitch.

"For the hundredth time... MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" He screamed, only for Trogaar, who had been blasted back, landing right by and almost crushing Dib, with the paranormal expert stumbling back, but couldn't dodge as Trogaar grabbed him.

"I saw how you used this monkey's cranium against my soldiers, so let's see how you like it!"

 "Oh, come on!" Dib yelled in annoyance, only to scream as Trogaar started swinging him like a club at Starfire.

 "No head, no matter how large, is a match for a Tamaranean warrior!" Starfire roared, dodging the swings before launching a star-bolt straight at Trogaar, who raised Dib up to use as a shield, with the boy's eyes widening as he muttered, "This day sucks..."

Right before getting nailed right in the face by the star-bolt, much to his pain and the observing Irken's amusement.

"Zim could watch this all day..." the Irken said, giving a chuckle before frowning, "But Zim would rather not get blown up on this inferior sad excuse for a ship."

He said before calling out, "GIR! It's time to go!"

 "But I never got my pizza!" GIR protested, making Zim's eye twitch.

"I'll get you pizza at home! Now let's go!" he snapped.

 "Aww... okay!" GIR said, at first whining before chirping, "Is the pretty lady coming with us?'

 Zim paused mid-step at that. Glancing over to where Starfire was still fighting Trogaar, he frowned in thought, oddly apprehensive about the idea of leaving her behind.

Well, it was somewhat distasteful to just abandon a somewhat useful ally, he supposed. Besides, he originally came with the purpose of retrieving her anyway, and making sure she lived was a good way to spite that foolish lizard.

"Fine..." He said with a sigh, before smirking, "But that mean lizard doesn't want her to play anymore, GIR."

He added, pointing at Trogaar with GIR gasping, "But she has to play more! I needs her to play!"

 "Then you should tell him that~" Zim said with a smirk, anticipating what was about to happen.

With a shriek, GIR flew through the air and slammed into the back of Trogaar's head as he tried to hit Starfire with Dib.

"What?!" Trogaar exclaimed, not hurt by the attack but annoyed by the distraction.

"Bad lizard! Let pretty lady play!" GIR yelled, smacking his tiny hands against Trogaar's head.

 "GET OFF ME!" Trogaar roared, trying to bash the robot off with the Earth primate's large head.

 "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dib cried out as he was repeatedly slammed against Trogaar's back, hitting that instead of GIR.

 Today really... really... sucked! He thought under all the pain, as GIR hit on Trogaar's helmet like a drum.

"For pretty lady! FOR PIZZA!" He cried out as a form shot out his head... which spun in the air before revealing a cheese-covered raccoon?

"I thought I got rid of that thing?" Zim said with a confused blink as the vermin started to scratch at the Gordanian's face.

 "RAAAGGGHHHH!" Trogaar screamed as the raccoon clawed his face, dropping Dib to try and grab at it, letting him hit the floor with a thud.

"Ugh, can we please leave now?" he groaned as he shakily got to his feet.

"Okay!" GIR said, before without warning he grabbed Dib and lifted him up, rockets igniting in his feet.

"What the-? AAAAAHHHHH!" Dib screamed as GIR flew out of the ship at high speed, taking him along for the ride.

 "GIR! YOU DON'T SAVE THE ENEMY! AND YOU DON'T LEAVE YOUR MASTER BEHIND!" Zim hollered at the retreating robot's form as it rocketed through a bridge window.

 Great, now how was he supposed to get out of here before everything blew up?

"Time to go, zar'pyak," Starfire stated as she landed next to Zim, making him jump in surprise.

"Eh, what?" Zim blinked, looking to her in confusion.

"You've aided me, it would be dishonorable to not aide you in turn," she replied, glancing over to where Trogaar was still struggling with the small Earth beast clinging to his face. She'd like to finish the monster off herself, but the self-destruct alarms were blaring louder and faster, indicating that they didn't have much time before the ship exploded.

 "Zim has no use for your honor," The Irken scoffed, "But Zim will allow you the honor of aiding Zim further, even though Zim clearly doesn't require your help escaping this doomed ship!" He exclaimed, with Starfire finding herself letting out a giggle as she arched a brow.

"Of course, Zim is too skilled to go down to something like this~" she stated, sending the Irken a smile... a smile that made Zim feel all weird.

 He'd been praised plenty of times in his life (or at least, he'd convinced himself that it was praise), as was only fitting for his greatness. But it had never made him feel like this... all warm and fuzzy...

"Ahem, yes, it's good to see that you finally understand that," he said, coughing and composing himself, "So, let us go, and let that arrogant lizard succumb to his own foolish plan!"

 "I THINK NOT!" Though before they could do so, a large roar echoed out as Zim suddenly found an Earth vermin thrown at his face, causing him to scream in pain and shock.

"Aaaaaaaah! Not again! Get it off of Zim!" The Irken screamed, with Starfire barely having time to widen her eyes before she was suddenly tackled by the enraged form of Trogaar.

"YOU TROQS DIE TODAY!" He roared, viciously exploiting the Tamaranean's surprise by attacking with no mercy.

 WHAM

WHAM

WHAM

Vicious blows rained down on Starfire, bloodying her face and disorienting her enough that she couldn't even defend herself, much less fight back.

"DIE, TROQ! DIE FOR ALL THE TROUBLE YOU'VE CAUSED ME!" Trogaar roared, manic rage in his eyes, "DIE IN THE NAME OF THE GORDANIAN EMPIRE AND THE CITADEL, YOU-!"

SHING

Trogaar froze in shock at a sudden sharp pain in his chest. Woodenly turning his head downwards, he saw what he absently recognized as the tips of all four of Zim's PAK legs sticking out of his chest, having been stabbed through him from behind.

 "No... you die... DIE IN THE NAME OF ZIM!" Roared the Irken as Trogaar coughed weakly, looking over his shoulder.

"Damn you... insect... the... Citadel... will make you... pay," He hissed, trying to fight through the pain and injury... only to find himself falling to his side as Zim pulled out his PAK legs, "Never... coff... should have... gasp... bargained... with... that... filthy troq."

The Gordanian gasped in pain, thinking back on the deal that led to all of this... his end... on a backwater planet... by a disgusting Irken. How... could... it have lead to this?

"Damn... you... to... oblivion... Komand'r... filthy..." His eyes glared hatefully at the Irken, who ignored him, approaching the Tamaranean's prone form, and found himself fueled by a surge of hate and energy as he lunged toward them with one last cry of, "TROQS!"

 If he was going to die, so were they!

But as he approached, Zim spun around and thrust all four PAK legs out again, firing plasma blasts from all of them.

ZAP

Which hit Trogaar head on, sending him flying back to ironically land slumped against his throne. He gave a final moan of pain, and then went still, succumbing to his injuries at last.

 "Pathetic lizard!" Zim spat with a scowl before smirking, "Let this show the so-called Citadel the price for making an enemy of INVADER ZIM!" He exclaimed, before cackling, enjoying the moment of his victory before the ship shook again and Starfire gave a pained groan from her position on the ground, reminding Zim of his current dire situation.

"And you had better appreciate this, Tamaranean, being saved by Zim is quite a honor... especially since Zim doesn't usually go out of his way to save others," he said with a grumble while picking up Starfire as best he could bridal style, before taking off on his PAK legs, "There must be escape pods somewhere on this stupid ship," He muttered, missing Starfire weakly opening her eyes for a moment, with her sight being that of Zim with a determined unafraid expression as alarms blared around them... and for just a moment, she felt her heart miss a beat.

 Such bravery, such determination, on top of his earlier battle prowess... it was oddly... attractive.

That was the last thought that passed through Starfire's head before she moaned again and slipped into unconsciousness.

Zim, meanwhile, continued to carry her through the ship, refusing to let any concern or nervousness show, even as he felt the ship shake and shudder as it built up to detonation. Fortunately though, he soon came across a row of escape pods lining one wall, and quickly got both of them inside one of them. With the press of a button, the pod fell through a shaft and was soon flying away from the ship.

BOOM

Just in time, as it finally exploded, with debris raining all over the city.

"Huh, guess that was the film's big finale," remarked Brian down below with a blink.

"Decent explosion. I give it, eh, 7 out of 10," Chunk said right next to him.

"Hmm... seemed lackluster to me...4 out 10," Brian said with a thoughtful nod.

"Everyone's a critic," Chunk said with an eye roll as a piece of debris crushed a car they were standing next to.

 "Heehee, things go boom," GIR giggled from where he was seated on the sidewalk, watching the flaming debris fall from the sky. Next to him was a slightly shell-shocked Dib, who despite coming down from the adrenaline rush of the battle and unwanted flight, was still coherent enough to hear and groan at what his classmates were saying.

"Of course. An actual alien spaceship shows up and almost destroys the city, then gets blown up, and everyone thinks it's fake," he groaned, facepalming. Seriously, if this didn't get people to realize the truth, what would?! He asked himself incredulously.

"You think you got problems? That was our only ride and way to communicate off world."

Before blinking and raising his head to see a bruised and groaning Gordanian dragging himself across the street.

"So now me and any of my comrades still alive are stranded on this backwater," the Gordanian remarked with a scowl, "Not to mention likely to be slated for termination once our superiors find out about this mess."

He spat out with a pained groan, before adding with a sigh, "I should have listen to my mother and enlisted in the medical field."

 Dib stared wide-eyed at this, before looking around and yelling at anyone in sight, "Look! An alien! An actual alien, right here!"

This was it, it had to be! This guy wasn't even wearing a horrible disguise like Zim! People had to realize what this meant!

"Hey pal, nice costume!" a man walking down the street past them commented to the Gordanian.

 "Uhh... thanks... standard Gordanian military uniform," the Gordanian said with a slight confused blink, misunderstanding the compliment as the man walked off.

"I... you... urggg, are you kidding me?!" Dib exclaimed in frustration, his eyes twitching, "He's an alien! An actual living, breathing alien! Who's part of an alien empire!"

He yelled, jumping up and down, "How is no one seeing this?!" He yelled, loud enough to echo across the city, with the Gordanian giving him a nonplussed look.

"Wow... having a long day or something?" he asked with an arched brow, just as Brian and Chunk walked by.

"Ohhh, look out Dib, it's a scary alien~" Brian mocked with a laugh.

"Yeah, you better be careful, he might hurt you with his rubber suit or costume zipper~" Chunk chimed in with his own laugh.

"Oh! And maybe that ship will abduct you to planet Hollywood!" Brian added as both boys burst out in laughter, leaving Dib standing there with a twitching brow.

"Like you wouldn't believe," He responded to the Gordanian's question with a facepalm.

"Okay... well, good luck with all that, I guess. I'm gonna go find any of my other comrades who survived," the Gordanian stated after a moment of awkward silence, before turning and walking away. Dib glared after his back, too exhausted to pursue this situation much further tonight.

But then, before he could say or do anything else, he was jumping in surprise as a pod crashed into the ground next to him. As he yelped and tried to stop his heart from pounding out of his chest, the pod opened and Zim walked out, still carrying the unconscious Starfire.

"Ah, Dib-Stink, I see you managed to not die. Zim is almost mildly impressed," he stated flatly, causing Dib to glare at him.

"Yeah, thanks for the help, really appreciate it," Dib spat with obvious bitter sarcasm.

"You're welcome, Zim is so happy to see you acknowledge his superiority and generosity." Which of course went over the Irken's head.

 Dib sighed, unable to even muster the energy to explain what he actually meant. GIR, meanwhile, wandered over and looked curiously at Starfire.

"Aw, is pretty lady sleepy?" he asked softly.

"Hmm, yes, I suppose she is. Zim guesses we'll let her stay at the base until she recovers," Zim muttered, feeling oddly generous for some reason.

 "YAY! SLEEPOVER!" GIR screeched excitedly, with Zim and Dib wincing from the volume of the robot... wait, robot?! It wasn't wearing a disguise... and neither was Zim! Should he try to call attention to this... or would he be blown off like with that other alien?

 Honestly, he was too tired and emotionally worn out to even try... and also possibly concussed from the numerous blows to the head he'd taken while being used as a blunt weapon, he belatedly realized. So, while reluctant, he was willing to let it go, just for now.

"Well, I'm going home too," he said, before adding with a glare, "But don't rest too easily, alien. This is just a temporary reprieve. One day soon, I'll expose you for the monster you are, and then-!"

"Yes, yes, that's nice, Dib-Monkey," Zim interrupted, sounding very bored, "But Zim has had enough of your big head full of stupidity for one day, so begone with you!"

 "I... oh, forget it," Dib glared and was about to make a retort, before just giving a groan, "I need to get home... and get an aspirin," he groaned, walking away and rubbing his head. This had, without a doubt, been the longest day of his life... and he needed to rest and recuperate... because tomorrow he would plan!

Tonight had only proven how dangerous aliens could be! One ship almost destroyed the city, and had ended up blasting a hole in the moon! Heck, apparently some aliens actually did have superpowers, for crying out loud! As much as he hated to admit it, he was a bit out of his depth more than expected, so he needed some kinda way to tilt the odds in his favor.

"Still would have been nice to get something out of tonight..." Dib muttered, only to let out a startled grunt as he ended up tripping over something while he was distracted from his thoughts.

"Ow! Urg... can't I catch a break?" he asked as he turned on his side, and as soon as he looked over his shoulder, he froze when he saw what tripped him - one of those high-tech staffs the aliens had been using as weapons. With Dib staring silently in shock at this, before a large grin formed on his face.

 "I'll call that a break~" he said excitedly, snatching up the staff. He then turned and started running back home, keeping an eye out for any other discarded pieces of alien technology he could find along the way.

Tonight might have been a disaster, but he could still salvage something from it. He could still be the savior of Earth that he knew that he was meant to be!

Zim would be defeated, no matter what evil plot he was probably already scheming!

(Zim's Base)

"Have a nice night?" the Computer asked dryly as Zim entered the house with Starfire still in his arms and GIR skipping alongside him.

"No snark! Zim is not in the mood!" Zim snapped, depositing Starfire on the couch.

 His first day on this planet had certainly proven one pain in the squeedilyspooch. First the Dib-Monkey somehow sees through his brilliant disguise, then a Tamaranean of all species comes crashing down like a random space rock, and then a ship full of those annoying lizard slaves of the Citadel show up after the Tamaranean and Zim's amazing self, while trying to steal Earth for themselves!

 Obviously it was no real problem for Zim, since he was the most amazing Invader ever, but it was still annoying to have to deal with all at once!

And he wasn't done yet, he thought, carefully eyeing his unexpected houseguest as she lay unconscious on his couch. He knew logically that he should probably just get rid of her while he could, but for some reason, that didn't sit well with him.

 After all, despite the foolish honor her people held, she'd shown that she was indeed a mighty warrior... granted, not as mighty as Zim of course, but who was? Regardless, she was a close second, and it'd be a shame to let such power, skill, and grace go to waste!

And even though he clearly didn't need her help, she had assisted Zim, and Zim could show gratitude on the occasion, he thought... while at the same time, many sentients who had the "luck" to have interacted with Zim at one point or another felt the strange desire to snort in derision.

But there thoughts ultimately led back to the same question.

"What is Zim going to do with you?" He wondered out loud, before flinching as a certain voice screeched in his ear.

"Mastah should marry pretty lady!"

 "GAH! GIR, do not do that!" Zim snapped, turning to glare at the robot, "And don't spew nonsense, either! Irkens do not bother with things such as matings or courtship or other such primitive distractions!"

"Aw, but you and pretty lady are so cute~" GIR giggled, "You should get married and have babies and puppies and kitties and all the cakes!"

"What?" Zim asked, staring at GIR in disbelief, before shaking his head, "Just... shut up, and never speak of such ridiculous ideas again!"

 But GIR just started to hum a strange tune that Zim would learn later was known as the wedding march to Earth-Monkeys.

"Urgg, forget it," Zim groaned, "Zim must figure out how to handle the Tamaranean and report this act of enemy action from the Citadel's pet lizards to the Tallest."

 "Well, you saved her, right?" the Computer chimed in, "Records indicate that with her species sense of honor, a Tamaranean would feel indebted to you for that. You might be able to make use of that."

"Hmm, true," Zim mused, scratching his chin in thought, "That silly little honor code of theirs probably demands that she must repay me for going out of my way to save her. And Zim could definitely use a moderately-impressive warrior like her at my disposal. Especially when GIR's advanced software is currently proving beyond even Zim's amazing insight," He added, sending a glare toward GIR, who was now sitting on Starfire, poking her while giggling.

"Right... advanced software," the Computer said dryly. Because it wasn't hard for it to see that GIR was clearly a malfunctioning idiot piece of garbage. But if Zim was too oblivious to be able to tell that, the Computer wasn't going to waste time trying to correct him.

"As for the Tallest, maybe finalize details with her first before calling them?" it offered, Zim nodding in agreement with that.

 "Yes, Zim supposes securing her services first and giving her the honor of being Zim's minion should come first," the Irken said with a nod, before adding with a frown, "And perhaps Zim should see about capturing any of those lizards that are still on Earth for information to report to the Tallest as well."

He wondered, before giving a snort, "Though Zim doubts any of the fools are aware of anything particularly useful to Zim or the Irken Empire," The Irken said with a scowling mutter, while the form on the couch started to stir.

 "Ugh, my head?" Starfire groaned as she woke up, rubbing her forehead as she forced her eyes open, only to blink as she found herself face-to-face with GIR.

"Hi, pretty lady!" he shrieked, which she didn't seem to mind all that much.

"Oh, hello little bumgorf, I am glad that you're okay!" she greeted with a smile, before blinking and looking around in confusion, "But, where am I?"

"You are in the amazing and incredible base of Zim!" the Irken exclaimed, "Be honored, for few have been allowed in such a special place!"

"This base has only existed for like a day," the Computer chimed in flatly.

 "Which makes it all the more amazing!" Zim exclaimed, though shot the ceiling or rather the Computer an annoyed look, with Starfire blinking before giving a giggle, "Regardless, Tamaranean, the annoying lizards have been defeated, their leader is slain, and his soldiers are likely finding holes to hide in like the cowardly fools they are."

Zim said, getting back to point, "And since it's all thanks to Zim, and since Zim was gracious enough to save your life..."

He smirked, "Zim has decided to reward you the honor of becoming Zim's new minion!" he proclaimed with a large grin, as if he was giving the greatest gift one could ask for. Which in Zim's mind it was; after all, who wouldn't want to serve Zim?

"You may now bask in Zim's greatness and praise him for his generosity," the Irken added, closing his eyes and giving a smug look.

 "...What?" Starfire asked flatly, giving Zim a deadpan look.

"Eh? Have you a clog in your ears?" Zim asked in return, opening his eyes to scowl at her, "Zim is giving you the chance to serve the greatest Invader in the universe! What is there to not understand?"

"Much, actually," Starfire replied as she sat up, carefully moving GIR aside, "While I am grateful that you aided me, why do you think I would want to help you in your people's vile ways?"

 "Vile?! What is vile about the Irken Empire sharing their glory with the rest of the universe?!" Zim demanded with an insulted expression, "And who would not wish to have the honor of serving Invader Zim?!"

 "You have proven yourself a great fighter, and you clearly have some honor for having saved me," Starfire replied, "But as for your people "sharing their glory", that is not how I would describe conquering worlds and enslaving their people!"

"Please, it's not like they were doing anything worthwhile with their planets or people anyway," Zim said with a scoff, "If anything, they should be happy to have grander purpose as part of the Irken Empire."

He proclaimed with a smile, "And Zim is happy you recognize his greatness in combat, but Zim has little use for honor..." He said, frowning while looking away, "Zim... just saw it as a waste to simply let you die... not when you could serve Zim... that's all."

The Irken explained with a cough, wondering distractedly why his mind went back to that kiss... grr, GIR's comments were probably just messing with his superior mind after the long day he's had.

"Well, however you justify it all, I refuse to serve you in such a way," Starfire said firmly.

"Oh? So, it would seem that Zim is not the only one who doesn't care about honor," Zim stated, smirking as that gave a scowl out of the Tamaranean.

"You just said that you do not care for honor, yet you use it to shame me?" she asked with a scowl, eyes flashing slightly in frustration.

"Zim has little use for honor, but it is always a wonderful thing to exploit~" the Irken said with a tone full of smugness, "Besides, is serving the greatest invader of the Irken Empire really that bad of a deal?"

He asked, looking into her eyes... they were quite a memorizing shade of green... and the anger in her eyes spoke of such passion.

Wait, why was he thinking like that?

As Zim pondered his odd thoughts, Starfire was dealing with her own. Because as much as she hated to admit it, because of her distaste for the Irkens in general, the one before her had impressed her with how he'd handled himself. He really had fought magnificently, and never shown fear or doubt at any point that she could recall... and he HAD saved her, no matter how twisted his reasons might have been...

...dammit, she didn't really have a choice in this, did she? She thought bitterly.

"I suppose... I DO owe you," she reluctantly admitted, Zim smirking triumphantly at.

"So...?" he pressed smugly.

"Ugh... so, yes, I will serve you for a time in order to pay off my debt," she said with a frown, "But I do not approve of what you intend for this planet, nor will I partake in any particularly foul actions you may perform in the process."

But Zim barely heard if at all acknowledged her last statement, focused more on her words of serving him... for some reason, her saying that just sent such a powerful thrill through his body, more so than Zim usually had at the thought of others serving him.

"Excellent~ And with a warrior as powerful as you at Zim's side, Zim will be able to conquer this planet all the easier!" he proclaimed with a large grin, "Together, nothing shall stand before the mighty Invader Zim and his powerful Tamaranean General Starfire!" He shouted, raising his fists as he laughed like a maniac.

"I just said... wait, General?" Starfire started to protest, only to blink in surprise as she processed that last part.

"Yes, of course. While just a minion, you will be first and foremost among them, as befitting being almost as superior as Zim," he explained, feeling oddly awkward as he said that.

 Starfire herself was surprised the Irken would give her such a position from the start, especially when he seemed unaware of her true identity... she found herself feeling quite flattered and warm at the acknowledgement of her skill.

 "Um, ah... well, thank you," she said, flushing slightly, "And... I suppose I can accept such a position under the circumstances."

"Excellent!" Zim exclaimed, feeling very happy for some reason, "Then go ahead and get some rest, for tomorrow you shall begin your first day as a minion of Zim!"

"Okay... um, where do I sleep?" Starfire asked, blinking and looking around at the living room they were in.

"Eh? Oh, right. Computer, build a room for General Starfire somewhere down in the base proper," Zim ordered, glancing to the ceiling.

 "Oh? Not going to save on space by sharing a room?" the Computer asked with what seemed to be a hint of amusement in its vocal processors, with Zim finding himself feeling very warm for some reason at the thought of that.

"D-don't talk nonsense!" he snapped, stammering before he could control himself, "Just do as you're told!"

"Yes sir," the Computer replied, though still sounding amused as it went to work.

 "As for you, General Starfire, follow Zim and you shall be briefed on Zim's glorious mission!" the Irken exclaimed with an eager grin, "By the time we're done conquering Earth, you might even learn a thing or two thanks to Zim's brilliant mind and leadership."

 Despite herself, Starfire giggled at that. While objectively this was a horrible situation, and she could tell that Zim clearly wasn't a good person... there was still something about all of this that was sending a thrill through her that she couldn't explain.

Maybe this whole thing wouldn't be such a bad experience, she told herself as she followed Zim down into the lower levels of the base.

 And so, the Tamaranean who in another reality and time would have found her fate tied with four others and become known as a beloved heroine, instead found her fate leading her to an alien invader, the most infamous of his species, Zim. Only time will tell where this will take their destiny and what the future holds for them.

Though... as Starfire would soon learn... it is not her destiny alone that shall become tied to Earth... and the battle between an Irken Invader and the paranormal expert turned self-declared defender of Earth.

(Somewhere out in space)

"What do you mean, the arrangement is off?!" Demanded a figure hidden in shadows as a pair of purple eyes glared at a monitor in front of them.

 "Exactly what I said, troq," the blue ape-like creature on the other end of the screen grunted, sneering the slur at the purple-eye figure, "We never received your tribute, so we won't be backing you in your attempt at claiming the throne."

"What do you mean, you never received her?! I practically gift-wrapped her for Trogaar and his goons!" she snarled back at him.

"And now we've lost contact with him completely," the blue ape grunted.

"And I am to be blamed for the incompetency of your lackeys?!" the figure snapped, glaring, "I held my end of the bargain, I delivered her to your men."

They stated firmly, before scoffing, "It's not my fault Trogaar apparently couldn't handle one simple job," The figure said as the blue ape-like creature glared with contempt.

"Regardless, the deal was the Troq Princess in exchange for our backing. No princess, no deal," they said, shaking their head.

"And what about the offered alliance?" the figure added in contempt, their eyes flaring angrily as they approached from another angle, "With the Irkens on the move, you NEED Tamaran..." she started to say, only to be cut off with a contemptuous laugh.

"How like a troq to overestimate the value of her savage race," the creature on the screen said with a glare, "Rest assured, if there ever comes a time we need you troqs to deal with those bugs, it will be under our boot as we squash them!"

"You will regret this," the figure snarled, eyes glowing in anger.

"I'm sure. Have a lovely day, princess," the creature sneered, the title being spat out sarcastically, before the screen switched off.

"Dammit!"

BOOM

And then a purple star-bolt slammed into the screen, bursting it apart.

"It figures that Koriand'r couldn't even just disappear and be taken captive right!" the figure snarled, her tone leaking nothing but resentment and rage, "I should have known better than to trust the Citadel's bootlickers to get the job done right."

They spat out... before taking several deep breaths, "Fine... I wanted to give her this one small mercy of ignorance... but if she insists on standing in my way..."

The purple eyes flared with glowing ambition and rage, "I will finally show the darling perfect sister who is truly worthy of leading Tamaran..."

And with that, Princess Komand'r of Tamaran - otherwise known as Blackfire - turned and stomped out of the room, already planning how she was going to make her little sister pay for the inconvenience she'd caused her.

Chapter Text

They spat out... before taking several deep breaths, "Fine... I wanted to give her this one small mercy of ignorance... but if she insists on standing in my way..."

The purple eyes flared with glowing ambition and rage, "I will finally show the darling perfect sister who is truly worthy of leading Tamaran..."

And with that, Princess Komand'r of Tamaran - otherwise known as Blackfire - turned and stomped out of the room, already planning how she was going to make her little sister pay for the inconvenience she'd caused her.

 (Earth, next day)

Zim rose the elevator up from his lab towards the surface of his base, feeling incredibly optimistic for the day ahead.

Obviously, everything would go the way he wanted, because he was Zim and he'd get what he wanted or else. But, it felt as if today in particular was going to be very good, and for some reason he found his mind going to his new minion as the cause of it.

 Admittedly, since she was the center of all that chaos last night it fit, and had only now entered Zim's service, so it was understandable for Zim to be thinking of her. From the raw strength and power she possessed, to the gleaming glow of her eyes as she laid low her enemies, her long silky red hair... those strangely pleasant lips.... wait, WHAT?!

"Urgg... I've got to stop listening to GIR. Or at least get that robot to understand that the Tamaranean... uh, Starfire, is not Zim's mate... she's Zim's minion," he remarked with a grumble as the elevator arrived to the top, with Zim coming upon a stunning sight.

"Look mastah! I got you and pretty lady a wedding cake!" GIR was standing next to a massive white cake, which had to be nearly as tall as the Tallest themselves. And topping it was two figurines of Zim and Starfire, dressed in a tuxedo and wedding dress respectively, standing together underneath a wedding arch.

"Do you like it?" GIR asked, while Zim felt an eye twitch.

"GIR... for the last time... WE ARE NOT MATES!" he snarled at the robot, who just blinked at him.

 "Awww..." with the robot giving a sad pout, "But mastah and pretty lady could be all kissy like on TV."

GIR said, while looking out of the kitchen to the base's camouflage human room of living, with Zim blinking confused before also looking out, with two things quickly becoming apparent. The first was what the monitor on the wall was playing...

"How could you?!" gasped a Earth female in some kinda fancy-looking dress to a male Earth-monkey dressed in what Zim surmised was an inferior military uniform.

"I'm sorry Starlight... but my duty comes first," the man said, only to get slapped by the woman.

"Is it your duty that compels you to marry my evil sister?!" the woman demanded, while the second thing that caught Zim's attention reacted from the couch... in an apparent new outfit.

 "Oh, how dreadful!" Starfire exclaimed, no longer wearing what she had been yesterday. Her helmet and armor were gone, and now she was wearing a purple crop top, a matching purple miniskirt, a silver belt, and thigh-high purple boots with silver soles and bands at the top. She also had some armor, in the form of a silver gorget with a round green gem embedded into it, silver bracers with green gems over the backs of her hands, and a silver armband on her upper right arm.

It was far less impressive and warrior-like than what she'd been wearing... and yet for some reason, Zim found himself unable to look away, cheeks warming up. However, after a moment he realized what he was doing, and shook his head to clear it.

"Where'd you get those clothes?" he asked, very confused.

"Oh?" Starfire at first gave a surprised blink at Zim's arrival, before offering a welcoming smile, "Your base's computer fabricated me some new clothing at my request."

She explained at Zim's look, "If I am to be staying on Earth with you, I felt some new clothing to better blend in with the natives would be wise to acquire."

At the explanation, Zim gave a nod, "Yes, as expected from my new minion and General, already thinking ahead, and planning how to aid your master in conquering this planet.."

He said, with Starfire giving an annoyed look at that; while willing to do what was necessary to repay her debt, she wasn't exactly on board with the idea of subjugating an innocent species to say the least, "Though why are you wasting your time with this Earth garbage?"

Before giving off an annoyed huff at the Irken's next statement, "It is not garbage!" she protested most firmly, "It is a human broadcast called Love, War, & Insanity."

She said with an eager smile, "It is a most gripping tale of the power found in love overcoming any challenge," she added, looking back to the screen with Zim.

"Hehe, the fool! Now that Commander Miz has agreed to the wedding, the trap is set..." proclaimed an Earth female with a resemblance to the first, only with darker hair and clothing, "And soon we shall eliminate him, my sister, and all the other fools who stand in the way of us taking what is rightfully ours!"

She proclaimed to a shadowy figure in the corner who stepped out to reveal a human... with a rather large (Not quite as large as a certain monkey he met yesterday, but still rather large) head and pointy black hair, with Starfire gasping at the sight of him.

"Uhh, who is that?" Zim questioned with a confused expression.

"It is Commander Miz's sworn rival and enemy Bid!" Starfire explained, "I cannot believe that Starlight's sister Blacklight would be working with him!"

"You are right, my love," Bid said to Blacklight, "Once those meddling fools are out of the way, nothing can stand in our way!"

"Oddly, the more this one talks, the more Zim dislikes him," Zim commented, finding himself unable to look away from the ridiculous program.

 "I know, it is most compelling," Starfire agreed with a nod and smile, before frowning as the scene suddenly cut off.

 "We will be right back to Love, War, & Insanity, brought to you by Freak Entertainment."

"But the commercials are most annoying..." Starfire said with a pout and grunt as a commercial began to play.

"Children... they are the future... our most precious treasure..." a voice said as the screen showed a scene of children happily playing on a playground, "We work hard to give them all the tools they will need for successful lives," the voice continued as the scene changed to that of a classroom of human smeets, similar to the one Zim generously infiltrated just yesterday.

"But the sad truth is... All of this becomes threatened..."  Ominous music played as the scene turned to a field of flowers, with a group of children singing about peace while holding hands, "When they become... teenagers!"

BOOOM!

Suddenly a loud explosion goes off and the field is turned into a wasteland and the human smeets.... they're replaced with TALLER EARTH MONKEYS! About the height of Starfire... were these... teenagers? Zim thought with a grimace, recalling what he managed to research so far about the human biological growth process... and the mentions of teenagers, the state between childhood and adulthood, being wild and uncontrollable animals... and it seems it rang true.

These... teenagers... were wearing torn clothes, metal piercings through their skin, and strange crazy hair cuts.

"Wooooo, rock 'n roll, dude!" called out one tall male Earth smeet, "I'm going to go jaywalk across the street!" he said with a laugh.

"I'm going to egg my parents' car!" a female Earth monkey said beside him as they both laughed.

"They put their futures in danger..." the voice said as the scene changed to that of a large fancy building, with a man standing in front of it, "But that's where I come in," the man gave a welcoming grin, but there was a sinister gleam in his eyes, "I'm Headmaster Blood... and I work to control the teenage problem, while helping mold them into respectable members of society."

 The scene then shifted to show those same rough teenagers being forced into the building behind Headmaster Blood, and then shortly after reemerged, now wearing fancy clothes and normal haircuts, and all with creepily wide smiles.

"I look forward to contributing to my community!" the female who'd previously planned to throw eggs at her parental units' vehicle stated cheerfully.

"I'm going to go do my taxes early!" the male who had wanted to walk-jays declared.

"Here at HIVE Academy, we are dedicated to reforming troubled youths into functioning young adults, ready to go out into the world and be productive and obedient," Headmaster Blood declared smugly.

 "Interesting..." Zim muttered, rubbing his chin, "This Blood seems to possess a method of transforming unruly Earth-monkeys into obedient pawns... Zim must know his secrets!"

The Irken declared dramatically, before turning toward Starfire, "Fortunately, Zim now has a General to infiltrate this HIVE and learn its secrets..." he added with a smirk, "And Zim supposes it will help your cover as a normal dumb if slightly better-smelling Earth-monkey teenager."

 Starfire blinked at that comment, not sure how she felt about it. She didn't like that he thought she could pass as a low-intellect human... but the comment about her smelling good made her blush for some reason.

"Ahem... so, you wish for me to infiltrate this Earth school?" she asked after clearing her throat to banish the odd feelings.

"Yes, precisely! Go among the worm-babies and learn this Blood's secrets, so we may use them on all the humans!" Zim declared with a grin.

 "Hmm, I must confess some confusion to this plan," Starfire admitted with a thoughtful frown, "How would the secrets of an educational facility for younglings help in planetary conquest?" she asked with a tilt of her head.

 "Don't you see?" Zim asked with a scowl, "He's clearly using some kind of mind control to bend these teen-beasts to his will! With that at Zim's disposal, it will be smeet's play to make this entire planet nothing but Zim's slaves!"

 With the Irken grinning and already picturing himself on a massive throne, surrounded by Earth-monkeys worshipping him with blank empty expressions as his General hand-fed Zim delicious snacks... no, wait.

Zim shook the last part of that fantasy out of his mind while Starfire frowned, not happy at the idea of this plan, but even more displeased at this Headmaster of the Blood brainwashing and stealing the free will of those under his supervision. Debt or no debt, if Zim was right, she couldn't let such injustice stand!

"Very well, I shall confront this Blood and learn his secrets!" Starfire said with a determined expression that fell at Zim's next words.

"And then we shall use those secrets to take over this pitiful planet!"

 "Yes, of course," Starfire said flatly, not that Zim noticed.

"Computer! Hack the computer systems of this HIVE school and register Starfire as a student so that she may infiltrate it!" Zim commanded.

 "If I must," the Computer said with a sigh, "Though I would recommend giving your new General a few days to adjust to Earth and working with you first," it added in a dry tone, "Instead of leaping right into things the next day after arriving like you did."

 Zim scowled at the Computer not directly obeying like it was supposed to, but he guessed that it had a point.

"Yes, I suppose even as impressive as my General is, she still isn't as able to immediately adjust to this filthy planet like the amazing Zim," he commented, Starfire once again having mixed feelings from his words - him calling her impressive was flattering, yes, but she wasn't exactly happy at the backhanded way he did so. Nor at insulting the planet they were currently calling home; admittedly her knowledge of Earth still wasn't much, but it couldn't be that bad.

 "So, General, while Zim is stuck dealing with the educational facility for human smeets, he expects you to be studying how best to blend in with the slightly older humans, understood?" Zim ordered.

"Yes sir, I understand," Starfire said with a respectful bow of her head, "But, um... can I finish watching the show first?"

"...Eh, fine, Zim is morbidly curious as to how this garbage plays out," Zim reluctantly admitted, sitting down with Starfire on the couch as the commercial break ended and the show resumed.

 "Oh Miz, I know people think you ruthless and insane... but my heart longs for you," Starlight said, looking at the photo in her hand, "How could my sister be so cruel?!"

 Starfire felt her heart ache for the poor girl on the screen. How awful it must be, to love someone you know that you should hate, only to have a spiteful sibling come between you!

Thank X'hal she'd never have to worry about something like that.

 "I'll give this to the Earth-monkeys... some of their entertainment might not be complete garbage... maybe," Zim said with a reluctant grunt as he took a seat next to her, feeling oddly drawn into this human entertainment broadcast, "GIR! Your master and General require snacks!" He bellowed towards the kitchen.

 GIR, who had already eaten half the wedding cake, looked up from where he was playing with the figurines of Zim and Starfire and making them kiss.

"Okay! I'mma gonna make waffles!" he said happily, tossing the figurines aside and running into the kitchen.

"Ooh, and could you bring me more of this delicious Earth beverage?" Starfire called after the robot, holding up a yellow container that Zim blinked at.

"That's mustard," he pointed out.

"Is that what is called? It is most flavorful!" Proclaimed Starfire with a smile, seemingly unaware she had been drinking a condiment.

 Zim opened his mouth to explain, but seeing Starfire happily chug from the bottle, he clicked his jaw shut without saying anything, deciding that it wasn't worth the effort of arguing over.

So instead, he just turned his attention back to the TV, and watched along with his General as Starlight burst into Miz and Blacklight's wedding to object, only to trigger Blacklight and Bid's trap for them.

 "Blacklight, what is the meaning of this madness?!" Starlight demanded as she and Miz were restrained and surrounded by her wicked sister and the cursed Bid's goons, who had infiltrated the wedding disguised as staff and guests, "How could you continue to break my heart like this?!"

"You know nothing of heartbreak, sister!" Blacklight hissed with a dark glare, "Heartbreak is realizing that no matter how hard you work or try, you'll always be in your sister's shadow!"

She snapped with a clenched fist before Bid stepped up, "It wasn't until I met Bid that I met someone who understands my pain," she said, leaning against her partner.

"And now we will finally achieve our vengeance and take everything we've ever desired together!" Bid proclaimed with his dark grin, "The days of me being treated as an outcast and joke because the people refuse to see you as the monster you are, are over, Miz!"

Bid grit his teeth as Miz let out (a rather impressive if Zim must admit) laugh to his face, "Foolish Bid-Donkey, the only thing that will be ending today is you and your harpy!" he proclaimed with his own dark grin.

"We'll see about that, Miz..." Bid said with a scowl, before smirking, "Because today, I marry the woman I love, and receive the greatest wedding gift I could ask for..." He leaned forward while speaking menacingly, "Finally exposing you for what you really are."

 Zim and Starfire both leaned forward in anticipation, eager to see what would happen next...

And then a title card which read "To be continued" flashed onto the screen.

"What?! NO!" they yelled in unison.

"This is outrageous! Zim demands that we see what happens next, right now!" Zim snarled at the TV, as if it could be intimidated by his anger.

"You do know how soap operas work, right?" the Computer asked flatly, "You have to wait until tomorrow to see the next entry. And then spend the next three months watching them drag the plot out."

 "That is evil and cruel!" Starfire declared in outrage.

"Hmm, yes... Zim is almost impressed," the Irken muttered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully while wondering if there was potential here for a plan against the Earth-monkeys, despite his annoyance at having his entertainment cut short right at the climax of Miz's victory!

"Regardless, come Starfire!" Zim barked out an order as got off the couch, "We must see that you adequately prepared to pass yourself off as one of the pathetic Earth-monkeys!"

 "What do you mean?" Starfire asked, looking to him in confusion.

"Obviously, we must get you a brilliant human disguise, like my own!" he declared, pulling out his wig and contacts and putting them on, standing before her smugly. With Starfire blinking before arching a brow with a slight disbelieving look.

"And... and that works?" She asked, a part of her wondering about the native species' intelligent levels if such a disguise worked. Then again... she gave a thoughtful frown... Zim had displayed a ruthless cunning last night... so perhaps there was a method to this she wasn't understanding.

 "Of course it works! Zim is ingenious!" Zim snapped, annoyed at having his brilliance questioned, "Now come, so that we may grant you a similarly amazing, but not as much as mine, disguise that will fool all the Earth-monkeys!"

"Ah... well, if you insist," Starfire said, deciding to just go with it, following after Zim as he led her back down into the lab and towards a large pod.

"Get in, so that we can find the right disguise for you," he ordered, gesturing to the pod.

 Starfire frowned but nodded in understanding as she got into the pod, with lights flashing the moment it closed as the machine rumble.

"Hopefully the General can withstand the pain for the sake of the mission," Zim muttered, recalling how the machine had hurt Zim during the disguise process for some reason... something that might need fixing later.

"Hehehehehe, it tickles!" Before blinking as Starfire's giggles could be heard from the machine, apparently finding the process ticklish more than anything, Zim thought with annoyance and... relief?

But shook it aside as the pod opened, revealing her wearing.... a costume of an Earth feline?

"Hmm, Zim must have left the pod set on Earth animals and pets, from when I designed GIR's brilliant disguise!" he muttered, with Starfire looking over herself in the outfit.

"Clearly too furry for our purposes," Zim scoffed as Starfire spoke out.

"Oh, but I look the most adorable," she said, hugging herself with a smile, "I would not mind keeping it." She added toward Zim as GIR entered the lab wearing his dog disguise.

"Gasp! It's a pussy cat!" GIR gasped, before shrieking, "I'm gonna eat it!"

 "What?" Starfire blinked, then yelped as GIR leapt at her. Fortunately, Zim grabbed him out of the air before he could do anything.

"No! Bad GIR! No eating Zim's General!" he scolded.

"Awww..." GIR whined, while Zim dropped him to the floor and turned back to a relieved-looking Starfire.

"Thank you... and, um, perhaps you are right that we should try something else," she said with a sigh.

 "Indeed, next disguise!" Zim proclaimed as the pod closed and got to work, and moments later it opened to reveal... Starfire with her lower body replaced by a fish tail?

"Is this thing malfunctioning?" Zim wondered with a scowl.

"I have the strangest desire to sing for some reason," Starfire said with a blink while poking at the fish tail disguise, "Are some humans aquatic?" She asked curiously.

 "Not that Zim is aware of. And at the very least, none of the ones Zim has seen around this city are," Zim muttered, before activating the pod again. When it opened again, he blinked at the sight of Starfire now wearing a poofier skirt, a white shirt with a large purple collar, green ribbons, and for some reason a tiara on her head.

"Oddly enough, I feel very mighty while dressed like this," Starfire mused, though Zim wasn't amused.

"Next!"

 The next one had some of Starfire hair shaved at the side, a green lightning bolt earring, a ripped top, tight purple jeans, and spike bracelets.

"Hmm, this is closer to the Earth-monkey teenagers that were in the commercial," Zim muttered thoughtfully as Starfire looked over her outfit, strangely feeling like this might be something her sister would wear... which hit her with a forlorn feeling of loss for a moment before shaking it off.

"I believe I would like to see other options, please," she said toward to Zim, while hoping her sister was doing well wherever she was.

"Hmm, very well, but we'll keep this one saved in the data bank, it might be useful infiltrating the more unruly Earth-monkeys."

 With that, Zim activated the pod again, and this time when it reopened, he found that Starfire was now wearing a red and black patterned bodysuit, with a jester cap with dangling bells on top, and her face painted black and white.

"I... do not think that this one would help me blend in very well," she stated.

"Agreed," Zim said flatly, wondering what was wrong with this thing, even as he activated the pod again. And when it reopened next, Zim's eyes bulged out at the sight - Starfire was now dressed in a much shorter blue skirt, a white shirt that was unbuttoned enough to let her breasts mostly hang out, and a blue tie that somehow just seemed to highlight said breasts as it draped over them.

Suddenly, Zim found it hard to think, face burning as he stared unblinkingly at Starfire, who squirmed under his gaze.

"Is this... acceptable?" she asked, blushing brightly for reasons that she didn't understand.

 "I... you..." if Tallest or any other Irken had been there, they would have been shocked that Zim was for once speechless as he gazed at his General in that outfit, finding it most pleasing to the eye... while giving him the strongest desire to not only teach her about Zim's greatness but discipline her as well.

 "Well, I'd say he definitely likes it~" the Computer chuckled, snapping Zim out of his shock.

"Ahem, yes! It is most visually pleasing, though let us try a few more options, just to be safe!" he said quickly, making sure to save this option in the data banks before activating a pod, hoping to find a disguise that would be less distracting for him.

Instead, he got a suit of armor that seemed far too skimpy to actually work as intended, just being a metal bikini. And once again, Zim found himself blushing and staring, but he quickly forced himself out of it before the Computer could snark at him again.

"Um, ah, good for battle, but not for undercover!" he declared, activating the pod again before Starfire could even say anything.

 The next one felt fitting for Zim's General for open conquest, and if Dib had been there he'd remarked it was something out of a comic book, being a black bodysuit with a high collar and a hood helmet that pulled her hair back into a long ponytail, but it just wouldn't do for infiltration.

 So, he activated the pod again, and this time Starfire was now wearing thigh-high black boots, a short black skirt with a skull on the front, a shoulder-less black top, sleeves with black and white stripes, and a black collar on her neck.

Again, Zim found this very good to look at, but it still didn't feel right, so Zim triggered the pod again.

The next was a skin-tight black bodysuit with a cape hanging on the shoulder and mask covering the upper part of her face, complete with some kinda emblem on her chest.

"Hmm, Zim supposes a mask would help hide your identity from the Earth-monkeys," Zim remarked as Starfire turned around, examining the latest disguise, with Zim's eyes honing in on the tight bodysuit squeezing against her posterior as a result.

 "I must admit that this is quite comfortable. It is like I'm wearing nothing at all~" Starfire giggled, not noticing how brightly Zim's face blushed at that, his gaze not breaking from her rear while those words echoed in his head.

Nothing at all...

Nothing at all...

Nothing at all...

 "Stupid eye-pleasing Tamaranean..." Zim muttered in a low whisper, his throat dry and unable to look away from Starfire's rear end.

"Did you say something?" Starfire asked with a blink toward Zim.

"Ah, nothing! Next option!" Zim yelped, quickly having the pod close (but once again saving the outfit in the data files for, ehhh, study, yes!) and moments later Starfire emerged wearing a outfit that caused Zim's jaw to drop.

 It was what any species would easily recognize as a slave girl uniform. A gold and green top covered her breasts but not much else, while a gold skirt held up a purple loincloth that just barely covered her crotch and ass; aside from that, all she was wearing was a gold collar around her neck.

While Zim was staring, utterly enthralled by the sight before him, Starfire was squirming for reasons other than embarrassment. After all, she realized that this was probably what the Citadel would have made her wear if she'd indeed been handed over to them...

"Um, can we try something else. I am... most uncomfortable like this," she muttered, covering herself with her arms and looking away from Zim, who blinked as the request snapped him out of his shock.

 "Uh, yes! Yes, of course!" Zim sputtered with a cough, "But... uh... Zim must admit... you look quite... captivating like that," Zim found himself muttering before he could stop himself.

"Um, ah, r-really?" Starfire stammered, blushing brightly and feeling very pleased by the compliment for some reason, despite how much she didn't like this outfit. Then again, if Zim thought she looked good in it, maybe it wasn't all bad?

As she was pondering this, Zim shook his head to try and clear it back to normal. He had no idea what was wrong with him today, but it wouldn't stand! He was Invader Zim! He couldn't let himself get distracted by something as inconsequential as how how physically appealing his General looked in these outfits she'd been trying on...

"Moving on!" he practically yelled, activating the pod again. This time when it opened, Starfire was in something still visually appealing, but not nearly as much - namely, the exact same purple two-piece outfit she'd been wearing before they'd started this. The only difference now was that her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she was also wearing glasses.

"Brilliant! With this disguise, the foolish Earth-monkeys will believe that you are one of them, rather than Zim's powerful General and all around superior species!" Zim crowed with a smug smirk, because after all, despite how some the universe viewed the Tamaraneans as a troq species, there was no denying their power or skill as warriors. And in Zim's eyes, Starfire was naturally superior to any human, she was his chosen General after all!

 For her part, Starfire blinked as she looked herself over. This was it? All of that, and she just ended up with what she'd already been wearing? What was the point of all that?! Even though she really had liked some of those clothes...

No, don't get distracted. It didn't matter, just go with it.

"Ahem... so, now that I have my disguise, what is next?" she asked.

 "Now..." Zim gave Starfire a wide grin, "We prepare you for the infiltration among the pig-smellies."

He said, rubbing his hands together, "And with Zim preparing you, the fools will be easily fall to the charisma of his mighty General, and will be unprepared when the time comes to strike and crush them all!"

He exclaimed, before bursting out laughing, with GIR lifting up his head from where he'd been laying on the ground and started to laugh along with Zim, leaving Starfire to blink confused, before tentatively deciding to join in on the laughter.

 "Not to interrupt," the Computer spoke up, sounding like it was fine with cutting into the laughter, "But while the General hasn't been registered with her school yet, you have been and do need to get going to make it in time for today's classes."

Zim scowled at that reminder.

"Ugh, filthy worm-baby den," he spat, shaking his head, "Fine, Zim will go. General, I trust you to spend this free time today to familiarize yourself with Earth culture some more, while Zim is not here."

"Of course. While I'm not one for subterfuge, I do find myself most eager and curious to learn more about this planet's people and culture," Starfire said with a smile as Zim scoffed.

"Zim doesn't see the appeal... but if it makes your task of tricking the Earth-monkeys that you're one of them, then by all means enjoy their inferior culture," he said with a huff, "Though I doubt you'll find anything worth while out of it," he said, moving to leave but pausing at Starfire's next words.

"But did you not enjoy that Earth program with me?" she asked with an arched brow and a smile that could be taken as teasing.

Zim should be angry at being contradicted and possibly mocked like that... but for some reason, he found his lips pulling up in a smirk.

"Yes, well, I suppose every species has at least one good thing going for it," he admitted, waving her off, "But Zim is sure that you will not find anything else worth enjoying while preparing for the worm-babies' eventual conquest."

"Oh? Careful master, that sounds like a challenge and bet~" the Computer said, speaking up with an amused tone, seeing a chance at some fun.

"Bah! Zim would hardly need to bet, but if he did, Zim would win!" the Irken said with a scoff.

"That so?" the Computer said, before speaking up, "How about this, then? If your General can't find anything that you both will find worth enjoying from the humans' culture, then she'll have to wear one of the outfits you just went through for a decided period of time around the base."

The AI stated, getting their attention as it listed out the terms, "But if she does find something you admit to enjoying... then you have to wear whatever outfit she wants you to enjoy for the same decided period of time you two agree on."

 Zim and Starfire both blinked at that, processing and considering what the Computer was proposing. Both blushed at the thought of Starfire being made to wear one of those outfits long-term... but she at least was also intrigued at the prospect of Zim possibly having to wear something of her choice.

"Hmm, that does sound like it could be fun," she said, Zim blinking again and looking at her.

"It does?" he asked, before puffing, "I mean, of course it does. Though you do realize that Zim will of course win!"

 "I wouldn't be so sure," Starfire said, floating over to Zim, "I still know little of this planet, true..." she said with a nod, "But surely there must be more parts of it you will find enjoyable."

She said with a determined expression, as the challenge of this bet got her warrior instincts fired up.

"Doubtful, but Zim accepts this bet..." the Irken declared with a large smirk, "And the loser shall wear the chosen uniform for a full Earth week!" he added, holding out his hand.

"Agreed," Starfire said, taking the hand, with them shaking on it.

"Oooh, this is gonna be fun~" GIR called out excitedly, clapping at the game.

 "Yes, it will be," Zim said smugly, before turning and walking away, "Now then, Zim must go. I shall see you this afternoon when I'm freed from that educational prison."

"Have a nice day!" Starfire said cheerfully, waving at him until he disappeared up a tube, "Hmm, now, what shall I do?"

 "Well, I could show you some of the data we've gathered on Earth so far though the local communication network," the Computer answered, with Starfire blinking, "But I might also suggest going for a walk and familiarizing yourself with the city's terrain."

It said, just as GIR cried out, jumping into Starfire's arms.

"Let's have a tea party!" the disguised robot said, hugging himself against Starfire, who blinked but smiled at the show of affection, already forgiving the precious bumgorf for attempting to devour her earlier while she was dressed as an adorable Earth feline.

 "Oh, that sounds fun~" she giggled, "I suppose we can do that before I go out and explore."

 And with that, Starfire found herself enjoying her first day on Earth by having a tea party with GIR.

"Waffles, piggy?" GIR asked, with them now sitting at a table and the robot addressing a pig in a fancy outfit... a pig that was looking befuddled and confused as to how it got here, while GIR held out a plate of waffles and Starfire sipped on the Earth beverage known as mustard... hmm, delicious~

 This really was fun, she thought. She'd been through a lot over the last few days, and she was still processing it all. So, it was nice to be able to relax like this.

"Enjoying yourself?" the Computer asked, while GIR shoved waffles into the pig's mouth.

"Yes, I am," Starfire said happily, before sighing, "So much has been happening so quickly. It feels nice to be able to just sit back and play with the little bumgorf to forget my worries," she added, drinking some more of the mustard.

"Still not sold on the whole evil minion/General thing Zim's spouting, huh?" the Computer asked dryly, causing Starfire to frown.

"I'm grateful for his aid yesterday, and I will repay my debt," she answered warily, before adding with a sigh, "But... aiding in the invasion and subjugation of another race..."

 "Isn't exactly to your tastes," the Computer observed, before adding, "If it helps... I do have some data on some Tamaranean warlords who in the past left your planet to claim their own slice of territory somewhere out in the universe. Perhaps those files might help... plus, you could always think of it as a challenge for both your warrior skills... and patience, considering who you're going to be working for.."

 Starfire blinked at that, then frowned in thought.

"I... may have to do that," she said, "I will most likely be here for some time, so that will probably help me in the long run."

After all, to pay her debt... she was likely going to have to help Zim conquer this planet. At least, that seemed to be how he understood their bargain, as something told Starfire he wouldn't take her leaving before he succeeded in conquering Earth very well.

So, like it or not... unless she found a way around certain orders... she'd have to get more comfortable with the idea of aiding Zim in planetary conquest for the Irken Empire.

However, before she could really process that, she heard the front door of the house open, and the sound of Zim speaking to someone.

"I want to congratulate you, Keef, on a job well done. You have been a most convincing friend, but now that the world seems satisfied with my knack for companionship, I don't think I'll be requiring your services any longer. Our mission together is done. Good job, solider! Begone with you!"

Before blinking at the sound of another voice, "Hey you got any video games?" they questioned, with Zim seeming to pause before answering, "Yes..." though the answer itself sounded more unsure than anything, followed by another pause before the door was heard closing.

With Starfire floating out from the kitchen to the living room, to find Zim leaning against the door and sighing.

"A job well done," he said with a sense of pride in this tone.

"Who was that?" Before blinking at Starfire's question.

"Ah, my General, here to greet her master and leader upon his return as it should be," Zim said with a smile toward Starfire, either missing or disregarding the brief scowl at Zim addressing himself as her master, "That was simply a particularly clingy Earth-monkey who served Zim's purposes in helping maintain his cover under the pretense that the humans deem friendship, as apparently Zim lacking companionship was making the Earthlings suspicious. Fortunately, Zim's quick thinking has saved the mission, and it is now no longer a factor to worry about."

The Irken said proudly, before blinking as a small card was slid under the door, with Starfire picking it up after a moment, arching a brow at the drawing of Zim and some human boy with the words "Bestest Friendz" on it... before the landline communication known as a phone ringed, and Zim looked confused as he approached, picking it up.

"Hello... Keef?I told you, I do not require-!" Zim tried to snap, only to pause as he was apparently cut off from the other end. And then the phone beeped.

"Hold on, I've got another call," he said, pressing a button, "Hello?"

Then, to Starfire's confusion, Zim's eyes widened and he pulled the phone away from his head and stared at it fearfully before tossing it aside.

"What is wrong?" she asked, disturbed by how he was acting.

"He called me on the second line, even though he was already talking to me on the first one," Zim replied, sounding as disturbed as Starfire felt.

"I'll admit... I'm hardly an expert on communication technology... but surely that should be most unnecessary," Starfire said slowly with an unnerved look, before Zim looked outside the window and flinched, with Starfire following his gaze and seeing a boy riding by the house on what she believed was termed a bicycle, before riding past again... from the same direction.

Starfire started to feel a strange chill from that, and the strange look in the boy's gaze as Zim pulled down the binds.

"That was... I believe creepy is the right word..." she said slowly, with Zim giving a slow nod in agreement before bellowing out, "GIR!"

With the robot falling from the ceiling, to both Zim and Starfire's surprise as he saluted with red eyes flashing from the floor, "Yes, my master!"

"GIR, I'm going down to the lab, do not let anyone in the house," Zim ordered with a stern look to the robot.

"Yes sir!" GIR said, standing up with a salute.

"Ah... may I join you?" Starfire asked, "I suddenly do not feel comfortable being up here."

"Eh? Oh, sure, I guess," Zim replied with a shrug, leading his General towards the elevator. Starfire wasn't happy that it was disguised as a toilet, but she figured she'd complain later, and allowed Zim to flush them both downstairs.

Shortly after, the doorbell rang, causing GIR's eyes to turn blue again.

"Leprechauns!" he exclaimed happily, putting his dog costume on before running over to answer the door.

Meanwhile down below, Starfire was joining Zim in the lower sections of his base.

"So, do humans really consider companionship so vital?" she questioned besides Zim as he stretched and took a seat in front of a monitor, "It reminds me of my own people's culture," she added thoughtfully.

 "Hmm, yes, I suppose you would think so," Zim said dismissively, making Starfire frown at him, "But it is just a sign of weakness. Irkens understand that we need no one but ourselves to survive and thrive!"

"Then why are you so insistent on me being here?" Starfire asked, making Zim pause as he actually considered that.

 "Um, well..." Why was he insistent on making the Tamaranean... Starfire, his minion and General? After all, he was Zim! He hardly needed help conquering these pathetic Earth-monkeys! And he certainly hardly needed her around for friendship or companionship! He thought in denial... even though simply living alone with a highly advanced base AI and robot minion that were either snarky or experiencing, um... Zim was going to call it slight error in the new top of line programming... but yes, Zim would admit that having semi-more tolerable company basking in Zim's amazing glory would be welcome.

But still... Zim coughed.

"Though Zim clearly doesn't need help conquering this planet, Zim is willing to admit a warrior of your skill and power deserves to serve at the side of the best, and that is ZIM!" the Irken exclaimed with a clenched fist, "Plus, you being here might make dealing with that snarky Computer and GIR... easier to deal with," he added, admitting the last part in a slight grumble.

 "Oh, I see," Starfire replied, feeling odd about that response. It was good to know that Zim actually had reasons for wanting her here, and respected her, but why did she feel like she wanted there to be more to it than that? Choosing not to dwell on it, she instead asked, "So, what will you do about the... odd boy outside?"

"Zim intends to ignore him until he gets the message and goes away," Zim grumbled in reply.

 "And you believe that would be enough?" Starfire questioned, slightly skeptical, as for some reason something was telling her it wouldn't be that easy.

 "Eh, he's only a human smeet. And not even a mildly competent one like the Dib-Stink," Zim waved off, "Annoyingly chipper as Keef may be, Zim does not believe that he'll be willing to stick around for a long time just watching the house."

 "I suppose you might have the point," Starfire admitted with a frown, as surely one young human wouldn't be that much of a problem... right?

Though at the mention of Dib, she blinked, recalling the boy with a large cranium.

"But speaking of the Dib who is the smelly," she shot Zim a curious look, "Will that zor'duni himself truly be a problem for your mission? You mentioned that he was the only one to see past your disguise and seems determined to expose you, yes?"

"Yes, he is, but Zim is not concerned," Zim shrugged, "Dib-Monkey is slightly smarter than the other worm-babies, but he is still far below Zim's own intellect, so unless he gets extremely lucky, he will not manage to expose me. Besides which, the other Earth-monkeys all think that he's insane, so they will not listen to him no matter what. And what's more, thanks to Zim's brilliant quick thinking, the Dib-Monkey has no idea you're now Zim's General, and believes you have left the planet, or at least the city."

Zim said with a smug look, while thinking back to today's earlier encounter before having to "befriend" the Keef.

(Flashback)

"Alright Zim, I'm just gonna make it clear here and now that while we worked against a common threat yesterday, nothing's going to stop me from exposing you or your girlfriend for the aliens you are!" Dib declared dramatically, pointing a finger into Zim's face as they stood outside the Skool building.

For his part, Zim scowled at the filthy human appendage getting into his personal space, and smacked it away.

"First of all, Dib-Stink, Zim has no idea what you mean, since I am but a humble human worm-baby like yourself," Zim replied, smirking at how Dib's eye twitched at that, "And if by "girly-friend" you are referring to Starfire, she is no longer here."

"Huh? What do you mean, no longer here?" Dib questioned with a surprised blink and skeptical look, "Did you hand her over to your leaders in exchange for some reward, while she spends the rest of her days as their personal slave girl?" he asked with a glare and scowl. Admittedly, Starfire was an alien too and had certainly caused a lot of damage, but unlike Zim, she seemed more interested in escaping her captors than doing anything to his planet outside property damage and eating food without paying for it. So while he was wary to give any alien the benefit of the doubt - especially one that used his head as a freaking mallet! - he still found the first scenario that popped into his head pretty distasteful to say the least, but also just the thing he could see Zim doing. Dib might have only met him yesterday, but he already has a good grasp on his character, right down to his huge ego and unstable personality.

"Of course not!" Zim snapped instinctively, surprising himself at how angry he was at the suggestion. Shaking it off, he added, "While the Tallest would no doubt appreciate such a prize, Zim respected her skills as a warrior too much for that, so we simply parted ways."

"That's it? You just let her leave?" Dib asked incredulously. That couldn't be right, it seemed too generous to be something Zim would do.

"Yes, after all, Zim hardly needs a Tamaranean to deal with you, Dib-Monkey, or to conquer this pitiful planet," he scoffed for a moment before pausing, "Which is what I'd say if I was an alien instead of the normal Earth-smelly I am."

He proclaimed as Dib blinked, before seeing his classmate Gretchen walk by with a hum and wave, causing him to frown.

"Regardless, since Tamaraneans are capable of transversing space without the need for a ship or spacesuit, she's likely halfway back to Tamaran by now," Zim added, lowering his voice with a hiss, "You'd have better luck finding some of those cowardly lizards that fled Zim might than you would at finding her."

"Excuse me, coming through," a Gordanian, wearing denim overalls and a fake mustache and holding a squeegee and bucket, said as he emerged out of the building and walked past Dib and Zim, who did a double-take at the sight of him.

"What the-? What are you doing here?!" Dib demanded in disbelief.

"I'm the new janitor and groundskeeper," the Gordanian said as he started washing the school's windows, "Gotta make ends meet somehow now that I'm stuck on this planet."

Zim and Dib actually traded incredulous looks at this, as this was certainly the last thing either of them expected to discover today.

"A lot of my crewmates are actually finding work all over town," the Gordanian said, before giving a pause, "Well, most of them, at least; that oddball Andrew joined some group that I'm pretty sure is a cult called the Children of the Saucer or something like that, because apparently they make him feel accepted."

He said, rolling his eyes, "While a pal of mine called Dewbert left the city, apparently on some so-called soul quest to discover himself," the Gordanian said with a grunt, "That or wanting to skip town so he doesn't have to pay back some local credits he owes due to indulging in his gambling addiction rather than trying to capture the Tamaranean like the rest of us."

 "You've got to be kidding," Dib said flatly.

"Yes, Zim agrees, even for you lizards, this is just sad," Zim said in the same tone.

 "Eh, it's actually not so bad," the Gordanian said with a shrug, "Actually kinda nice not to have Trogaar barking orders in my ear anymore. And the planet's not so bad... got a real dystopian feel to it, right down to the dark masters like that scary Bitters lady pulling the strings, just like back home."

 "Well, I'll give you that about Miss Bitters, but Earth is not that bad!" Dib protested.

"Really? Because according to the scans we did before we landed, your atmosphere's more pollutant than actual air," the Gordanian said dryly, "And everything's falling apart for that matter, too. Though at least that should keep me employed with plenty to fix around here in particular..."

 Dib at that had his face fall, while Zim barked out a laugh.

"For once, a lizard speaks sense~" he remarked in amusement, "It really is in your planet's best interest to surrender and embrace the rulership of Zim and the Irken Empire!"

"Not even in your dreams," Dib said with a glare, "Because I'll expose you and every other alien that sets foot on this planet for the menaces you are!'

 With that, he turned and stomped into the school, clearly too angry to even continue the argument.

"That kid needs to calm down before he gives himself a stroke or something," the Gordanian stated.

"In that case, Zim hopes it happens soon," Zim said with a cruel laugh, before giving the Gordanian a stern look, "As for you, lizard-"

"My name is Stuart."

"Zim doesn't care!" Zim snapped, "Just stay out of Zim's way, or join your slain lord in death!"

 "Yeah, yeah..." though the Gordanian appeared unbothered, more focused on getting his current job done, "Though you should know, killing Trogaar and complicating the Citadel's plans are bound to come back to bite you in the butt, sooner or later."

He warned, especially since this arrangement was apparently meant to end the war with Tamaran, and bring it into the Citadel fold.

However, Zim likewise appeared unbothered by his warning, simply scoffing with an annoyed expression from the lizard not trembling before the might of Zim, "As if I care for the plans of defective clones and their pets."

Before stomping into the building; after all, his mission was the immediate priority, not the Citadel. And right now, his mission meant just continuing to blend in, while plotting how he and his new General would conquer all the humans!

(End flashback)

"After that, Zim didn't interact with Dib-Monkey any more today, but we have no reason to believe that he doubts my story," Zim said to Starfire, who was frowning as she listened to his story.

"That is good... but the Gordanians are still here on Earth, and that does not concern you?" she asked, scowling at the thoughts of those foul noodars still being around.

 "Please, those lizards are even more hopeless than usual without their leader or even Citadel masters to keep them in line," Zim huffed, "And since their leader was slain by Zim, they know not to stand in the way of Zim and his General!"

He said with a smirk, with Starfire herself giving a small smile at his confidence.

"At most, Zim is making a note to capture and interrogate one of them for any information the Tallest might find useful," Zim added, before freezing, "That's right, my Tallest!"

He exclaimed, facepalming, "Zim still needs to report the events of last night, and how Zim prevented the Citadel's pets from taking a planet marked for conquest by the Irken Empire!" Zim said, tone full of smug pride, "Naturally, they'll want to praise Zim for a job well done, even though the Citadel targeting Earth as well was clearly one of the many reasons they chose Zim for this mission."

"But, they were only here because of me," Starfire tried to point out, highly doubting that the Citadel was interested in Earth until she fled here. However, Zim ignored her and turned to the console in front of him.

"Computer! Contact the Massive immediately so that Zim may report on all of this!" he declared.

"Contacting..." the Computer stated, a standby symbol appearing on the screen for a few moments, before it switched to the interior of an Irken ship. And standing there were two very tall Irkens, dressed in red and purple to match their respective eyes, and both looking quite annoyed.

"What is it now, Zim?" Tallest Red groaned, taking a sip of a soda.

"Yeah, we're busy with conquering the universe and stuff!" Tallest Purple stated petulantly, before shoving a donut in his mouth.

 "And you already reported in yesterday... after months of blissful silence," Red muttered with a forlorn sigh.

"Yeah, just when we thought you were gone for good," Purple added after swallowing, and actually giving a sad sniffle at that.

"Ah, my Tallest, Zim is also pleased to speak with you after months of nothing but GIR and his doom song," Zim said with a beaming smile, touched by how much his Tallest obviously missed him, as Red sipped on his soda and Purple ate another donut with annoyed expressions that Zim missed, but Starfire couldn't help but notice with confusion.

However, the Tallest would choke and do a spit take at Zim's next words.

"And I'm happy to report Earth has been secured from the Citadel forces," the Irken proclaimed with a wide grin.

 "What?" Red sputtered, dropping his soda in shock.

"Yes, those stupid Gordanian lizards acting as an advanced force have fallen before the might of Zim and his new General!" Zim declared, gesturing to Starfire, who blushed at the sudden attention, the Tallest finally noticing her presence with confusion.

"Hey, why's there a troq there with you?" Purple asked, idly tossing his half-eaten box of donuts aside, a small riot immediately breaking out behind him as a group of bridge technicians started fighting over the snacks.

 Starfire, at that insult, clenched her fists and felt her eyes glow with power, but barely held herself from snapping back since these were the leaders of one of the most dangerous powers in the universe. Fortunately, Zim cut in before she could lose her temper.

"She was a prisoner on the ship, taken as a prize to the lizards' masters," Zim quickly summarized to his Tallest, "She was also of adequate assistance allowing Zim to slay the Gordanians leader... um, uh, Tigger, in much easier fashion than Zim usually would."

He explained further, but slipped up a bit, having trouble recalling the lizard leader's name.

"The foul noodar's name was Trogaar, not Tigger, Zim," Starfire corrected, but with a small amused smile.

"Really?" Zim blinked, before giving a shrug, "Eh, doesn't matter, either way for he's still dead at Zim's hand, with his soldiers stranded and already giving up and going native like the weaklings they are!"

Zim exclaimed out with a cackle.

 The Tallest, meanwhile, were staring at Zim in shock.

"Trogaar? You killed Lord Trogaar, the ruler of the Gordanians and one of the Citadel's chief warlords?!" Red exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yes, yes I did," Zim said with a satisfied smirk.

"How?!" Purple yelled.

 "Oh, Zim remembers it like was just yesterday..." Zim said with a fond smile.

"Forgive me, but is that not because it was just yesterday?" Starfire asked with a confused look.

"Well, yes, but that isn't what's important," Zim gave a slight cough, "What is important is how Zim brought down the leader of the Gordanians!" He exclaimed with a raised fist, while leaving out he was only aware of Trogaar's Identity AFTER the incident was over with, as he proceeded to explain exactly what happened to the Tallest.

(Zim's flashback/fantasy/delusion)

"Wahahahahah! I Trogaar, the mighty lizard and Citadel bootlicker, claim this planet in the name of my hideous self and even more ugly masters!" Proclaimed Trogaar... well an uglier, fatter variation of Trogaar, from the control bridge of his ship.

"Yaaaayyyy!" the other Gordanians, who looked more like sock puppets, cheered while waving their floppy arms around.

BOOM

And then the wall exploded, sending the Gordanians flying.

"I think not, foul lizard king!" declared Zim as he stood dramatically in the hole in the wall, wearing a suit of armor and looking incredibly muscular underneath it.

"GRAH! Die, superior and incredible Irken!" Trogaar yelled, getting to his feet and sloppily running up to Zim, who reared back and punched Trogaar in the face, causing him to fall to the floor with Xs in place of his eyes.

"Victory for Zim!" Zim yelled triumphantly.

"All hail to the glorious Zim!" Starfire cheered from the sidelines, wearing the slave girl outfit she'd tried on earlier in the day in the real world and looking at Zim adoringly.

 "I throw myself at your feet to bask in your glory, and plead to have the honor of serving you," she gushed, grabbing and hugging Zim against her breasts, with the Irken smiling wide.

"Well, Zim is feeling generous," he said with a faux modest expression, before all the other sock puppet Gordanians spoke up.

"Hey! you can't just knock out our boss!" One protested in a dumb annoying voice, with Zim frowning.

"And you can start serving Zim by blowing up some lizards!"

"Yes, oh mighty Zim~" Starfire said with a giggle as she placed the great and mighty master back down, "And may I have the honor of giving you the foot rub afterwards as a reward?" she asked with a pleading look.

"Oh... if you must," Zim said with a smirk, before gesturing toward the Gordanians, with Starfire launching herself toward them with a battle cry.

"FOR THE MIGHTY MASTER ZIM!"

And the next thing they knew was pain and flames and PAIN! As their forms were lit with green fire, running around like headless chickens before the ship itself exploded from being unable to handle the sheer presence of Zim's greatness!

BOOM!

Then Zim was sitting on a throne in the middle of the Earth-monkey city, surrounded by all the Earth-monkeys as they bowed before Zim, while his new Tamaranean servant/General hand-fed him delicious snacks~

"Yes... yes, worship Zim!" the Irken crowed with a large grin, before scowling as the most annoying voice in the universe spoke up.

"Stop right... there... Zim... I won't... let... urg... hang on..."

It was none other than the filthy Dib-Monkey! With Dib dragging his very, very, very, large head, as big as a human inferior transportation vehicle, along the ground.

"I won't... urg... let you... ah... arg... come on..." the Dib-Monkey groaned as he fruitlessly worked to drag his own freakishly large head to Zim's position, with the Irken and his mighty Tamaranean warrior blinking and exchanging glances.

"Oh please, mighty Zim, allow me the honor to remove this fool from your sight, he is not worthy of basking in your greatness," Starfire pleaded with an earnest expression.

"Hehe, always good to see you so eager to please the mighty Zim," the Irken said with a smirk, "Zim will allow you to kick his butt and give what's left to GIR to play with."

He said as the ground suddenly shook and a much more advanced-looking, not to mention giant towering over them, version of GIR stepped up beside the throne.

"Oh boy.... I love playing with enemies of the great Zim," spoke GIR in a monotone computerized tone, not at all sounding like the crazy robot Zim had been dealing with before.

And with a beautiful smile of bloodlust, Starfire launched herself toward Dib.

"Wait... wait... wait! MERCY!"

Before flashes of green light were seen, along with Dib's cries and screams of pain, causing Zim to laugh in joy.

"Zim..."

Before turning to the side to see none other than Almighty Tallest Red & Purple standing before him.

"In honor of your achievement, we would like to give you a reward," spoke Red with a wide eager smile.

"And officially recognize you as the greatest Irken who ever lived!" Exclaimed Purple with a wide grin and cheer as he threw his arms up in the air.

 With that, fireworks erupted in the air, spelling out Zim's name in them while confetti rained down from nowhere. And as Zim watched gleefully, two ships flew in with a giant gold statue of himself dangling from towing cables, which was unceremoniously dropped on the ground, crushing dozens of human slaves, not that Zim cared about that.

"Three cheers for Zim, everyone!" Red declared, as a crowd of Irkens who hadn't been there a moment ago started cheering for him.

"Zim! Zim! Zim!"

(Real world)

"Zim... Zim... Zim!"

"Eh, what?" Zim blinked, snapping out of his fantasy as he realized that someone was actually yelling his name. Looking around, he saw Starfire and the Tallest looking at him, the former in confusion and the latter two in annoyance.

"Finally, we been trying to get your attention since the part about the ship blowing up because it was, and I quote, "unable to handle your greatness"," Red said dryly with finger quotes at the end there, "And considering neither Purple nor I have left the Massive since you last called us, I can't help but doubt the validity of your story," he added with a dry sarcastic tone.

"I did like the part about the Gordanian sock puppets and them getting blown up. That was funny~" Purple said with a snort and reluctant amused expression as he was handed a new soda from a serving Irken.

"Forgive me, but I am most sure it did not happen like that," Starfire said with her own slight cough and a small blush at Zim's description of her behavior and clothing in his tale... finding herself unsure if to be annoyed or amused,.

"So what did happen?" Before turning her head toward the video screen as the Tallest with red eyes, aptly named Red it seemed, spoke up, giving her an annoyed look.

"And I mean what actually happened, not Zim's fantasy trip to Zimworld," Red added with an annoyed grunt, and at that Starfire sighed before explaining everything, from how she escaped the Gordanian ship (while leaving out a few details of why she was such a valued prisoner), her first encounter with Zim, her being freed and absorbing the local dialect from Zim (Zim himself coughing and looking away with a flush, Red seemed to get a bewildered stunned look at that along with the bridge crew, while Purple started to giggle), their encounter again and ambush by Gordanians, making their way to the ship, and the final confrontation with Trogaar and his ultimate fate.

"So, the moron got distracted and gave Zim a chance to literally stab him in the back," Red summarized, rubbing his chin with a thoughtful scowl, before turning an annoyed look toward his co-Tallest, "And would you take this seriously?" he asked with a glare toward Purple, who was having a giggle fit.

"Hehehe... I'm sorry... but, hehehe, Zim... and her... she... she kissed Zim!" he exclaimed, before falling over as he burst into laughter.

"I still do not understand why you all make the fuss about this "kiss" thing," Starfire said with a frown.

"It's nothing, forget about it," Red said, kicking Purple to try and shut him up, to no avail, "The point is, you're working together, and as a result of this alliance have killed one of the Citadel's best assets. Is that all right?"

"Yes, that is correct," Starfire replied with a nod.

"Yes, just as Zim said in his nearly completely accurate telling of events, my Tallest!" Zim stated, making Red roll his eyes.

"Accurate my PAK..." he muttered, shaking his head, "Never mind. Point is, this is a major blow against the Citadel."

"That it is, just as you no doubt expected from the amazing Zim!" Zim declared.

"Right... just as expected... coff... let's go with that," Red said, his eyes widening for a moment before responding with a strained smile and slight cough as he muttered under his breath.

A part of him struggling to process that for once... Zim actually did something useful!? They banish him out to the farthest reaches of space, he ends up finding an inhabited planet they didn't even know about, and barely a day after he lands, Trogaar himself shows up chasing after some random Tamaranean... wait...

Suddenly, Red's eyes narrowed, giving Starfire a slight suspicious look. It wasn't strange to see the lizards doing the Citadel's dirty work, and the Gordanians had been battling the Tamaraneans for years now. But why would the leader of the Gordanians be so set to capture some random Tamaranean, and why was she held on his ship, of all ships in the Gordanian fleet? He thought, getting a strong feeling that there was more going on here than he and Purple were being told.

"And furthermore, this might be an opportunity for the Irken Empire to strike at the Gordanians while they're in disarray from the disappearance of their leader..." Red said slowly.

"Hehe, yeah... heh... good thing the moron got himself killed... heh... and all because he went after some random troq instead of leaving it to the grunts... hehe..." Purple said, standing back up after barely managing to get his laughter under control.

"Right.... just some random troq..." Red said, slowly gazing at Starfire with a slight frown.

For her part, Starfire tensed up. Was he suspecting that there was more to her than she was presenting? Did he realize who she was?!

However, she forced herself to remain outwardly calm, and met Red's frown with one of her own. They held each other's gazes for several moments, before Red gave a slight nod and looked away; he knew she was hiding something, but now wasn't the time for it. It was something that they'd have to figure out later.

"Well, I suppose we should get to work on capitalizing on this. Good work, Zim... can't believe I just said that," he said, muttering the last part too low for Zim or Starfire to hear. Though not Purple, who threw him a slight look of disbelief.

"Eh... yeah... good work, Zim," he added after Red elbowed him, feeling like he'd need to wash his mouth out from just uttering the words, "But eh..."

Purple gave the Tamaranean a curious look, "You really keeping her around?" he asked with a slight blink.

"Yes, while naturally not as skilled as Zim, my new General is still a mighty warrior that will make crushing the Earth-monkeys under the Irken Empire's boot all the easier, my Tallest," Zim said with an eager and dark smile.

"Uh-huh..." Purple said with a slow dry tone, before adding with a teasing smirk, "Plus, I'm sure you'll be enjoying some certain benefits for keeping her around too~"

He added with a smirk and knowing gaze, while Starfire found herself flushing as Zim just blinked, confused.

"Eh?"

Before Red spoke up, "Never mind him,." Red said, giving his co-Tallest an annoyed look, "Just as long as you don't do anything to compromise the Empire, I suppose there's no harm allowing this."

Red stated with a frown, before giving a snort, "Not like you're the first Invader to recruit a foreign species, or someone hasn't tried to get in good with the Irken Empire before."

 "Yeah, I mean there's the rumors that the whole reason Vort was original allied with us was because their leader at the time had it bad for Tallest Miyuki," Purple chimed in with a laugh, downing another donut, "Plus, there's those jobs that we use goons like that Lobo jerk for..."

 "Ugh, don't even mention that freak, I'm worried he'll somehow hear you and show up," Red muttered, shaking his head, "Anyway, Zim, we'll let you and your "General" get back to work preparing for continuing your... mission. Keep us informed."

"Yeah, but don't call too often!" Purple interjected, "Cause we, ah, need to also talk to other Invaders and stuff."

 "Understood, my Tallest, neither Zim nor his mighty General will disappoint!" Zim said with a salute.

"Yes, because whenever have you disappointed us?" Red said with a sarcastic tone under his breath as the call was ended.

"I think that went quite well, don't you?" Zim said, beaming at Starfire.

(The Massive)

"Box of donuts says she blows him up by the end of the week..." Purple said with a smirk toward Red.

 "Maybe," Red muttered, still staring at the deactivated screen, much to Purple's confusion.

"What's with you?" he asked.

"Why would someone as high-ranked as Trogaar care about some random troq?" Red asked, looking to Purple with a serious look, "She's hiding something from us."

"So?" Purple asked with a shrug, eating another donut, "A troq's a troq," he said with a frown, "I doubt whatever she's hiding is important, especially if she's dumb enough to work for Zim of all people."

Purple said, before starting to giggle, "Or kiss him... heheh, I mean, how desperate do you have to be?!" he exclaimed as he started laugh again, much to Red's annoyance.

 "Did you miss the part where that was some kinda biological translation thing, not a romantic act?" he asked flatly.

"I know, but still!" Purple giggled, "Besides, did you hear how he described her in that fantasy of his? The little idiot's got it bad!"

At that, Red gave an amused snort, having to give Purple that.

"Yes, and this might actually be a good thing," he muttered, with Purple giving him a confused look, causing him to sigh, "Because if he's focused on that rock and this Tamaranean, he's less focused on bothering us and screwing things up for the Empire."

Red said flatly, with Purple making an "ah" of realization.

"And who knows," Red frowned in thought, "If this girl is more than she appears, then Zim might actually continue to be useful for once," he said with a smirk, "Especially if the Citadel send any of their forces to investigate Trogaar's disappearance."

With Purple also getting a smirk, "If they do, either they blow Zim up, or he blows them up. Either way, it's a win-win for us~" Purple said with a laugh.

 "Exactly~" Red laughed, "Now, let's get to work figuring out how to take advantage of this."

"Okay. And someone get me some cheese fries to celebrate!" Purple ordered cheerfully.

(Earth, next day)

As morning rose over Doomsville, within Zim's base, he and Starfire were ascending up the elevator back to the surface, both of them having already put on their "disguises".

"So, you are once again attending the human educational facility?" Starfire asked Zim, glancing down at him.

"Unfortunately. The humans expect their smeets to go five days out of every seven day period, except on special occasions, so for the sake of Zim's brilliant infiltration, I must continue to go," Zim scoffed, before looking up at her, "What about you? Still going to waste time trying to find something enjoyable about this pitiful planet?"

"Yes, I am. Especially since I did not really spend any time doing so yesterday," Starfire admitted, remembering that she'd spent the whole day playing with GIR. Which was fun, but undermined her attempts to prove her point to Zim.

"Well, you can try all you want, but Zim doubts you'll be winning our little wager," Zim chuckled as they emerged into the kitchen, "And then- What the?!"

"Morning, buddy! You're just in time for breakfast!" Keef stated cheerfully, cooking bacon at the stove while GIR sat with a stack of waffles at the kitchen table.

 "And ooooh, is that the girlfriend GIR told me about? She's pretty," Keef said with an oblivious smile, to the looks of shock if not horror sent his way.

 "GIR! Why did you let the creepy boy inside the house?!" Starfire demanded, looking to the disguised robot in disbelief.

"He made waffles!" GIR replied happily, shoving several into his mouth at once.

"Get out of my house! I told you you're fired!" Zim yelled furiously, Keef just blinking at him in response.

"You don't like waffles?" he asked. Growling, Zim picked him up and ran towards the front door, which opened on its own.

"Oh, we can walk to Skool together!" Keef said excitedly, not off-put by what was happening.

"I'm sick. I'm not going to Skool today," Zim said quickly, before tossing Keef out onto the street, the skillet of bacon still in the human's hands.

 "I believe the creepy boy might be more of a problem then you first believed," Starfire said to Zim, who let out a growl.

"Urgg, I should have realized that the Earth smeet would be desperate to be friends with someone as amazing as Zim!" the Irken spat, groaning in annoyance as he shut the door, neither of them noticing GIR having wandered outside to join Keef.

"Zim will have to find a way to deal with him later. But for now, it appears I will not be attending the worm-baby facility today after all."

"I understand... though suddenly I do not feel comfortable leaving the house either," Starfire stated, shuddering at the thought of Keef waiting outside for her.

"Then why don't you both sit down and watch another episode of that human drama you both liked for some reason?" the Computer suggested, flcking the TV on.

 "Ohhh, that sounds most glorious!" Starfire's expression turned from creeped out to eager, "I am most eager to see how Starlight and Miz escape Blacklight and Bid's foul clutches!" She said as she zoomed over to the couch, with Zim giving a blink before shrugging.

"Eh, I suppose Zim is a bit curious about how this Earth program plays out," he said taking a seat as the television turned on, bringing up the title screen card of Love, War, & Insanity.

 "Hahaha! Now Miz, we're going to see what you really are!" Bid declared, he and Blacklight laughing as they looked at their captives.

"I am not understanding this trap," Starlight admitted. She and Miz were both tied to poles at opposite ends of a long plank suspended atop the edge of a cliff, a tub of boiling oil under each of them.

"It's simple, sweet sister," Blacklight said mockingly, "There's a chance you can escape from your bonds, but if one of you does so, the shift in weight balance will cause the other to fall to their boiling death!"

"So, Miz, what will it be?" Bid sneered, "Will you sacrifice yourself so that your so-called love will escape? Or you will you show your true colors and let her die to save yourself?!"

"Miz shall..." Miz's reply were cut off by a loud yell.

"HI MIZ!"

And suddenly Miz, Starlight, Blacklight, and Bid's expressions all turned frustrated as a figure arrived on the back of a mule.

"Sorry I'm late, but I think the wedding invitation you sent me had a bit of mix up, since I couldn't find you in the Antarctic," the figure said with a bright, cheerful, and honestly kinda creepy smile.

 "That's because Miz wanted you as far away from the wedding and from Miz's presence as possible, Feek!" Miz roared with a twitching brow.

 "Ha! You're such a kidder, buddy!" Feek said as he hopped off of the mule and looked around, "Ooh, this looks fun! Is it some kinda party game?"

"This isn't a game, you idiot!" Bid snapped, "We're trying to destroy our enemies here!"

 "Bid! How you've been, buddy?" Feek, at Bid's words, turned to him with a smile and wave.

"I was doing fantastic till you showed up!" Bid snapped with a glare that was shared by Blacklight.

"Agreed, in case you can't realize the obvious, I'm finally settling things with my sister, and the last thing anyone needs is the creepiest buffoon around interrupting the climax of my ultimate victory!" Blacklight added, scowling.

 "Oh, that sounds fun! Can I play?" Feek asked.

"No! It's not a game!" Bid snapped, eye twitching.

 "Urgg, Zim finds this Feek character most annoying, and what's worst he's distracting from the real plot Zim wants to see," Zim grunted with a grimace.

"Something about him does seem the unnerving," Starfire agreed with a nod, frowning.

"According to the show forums, Feek is both the least popular, but most popular character on the show," the Computer chimed in.

"Eh?! How could this fool be more popular than Miz?!" Zim exclaimed with an insulted expression.

"Or Starlight!" Starfire chimed in, frowning.

"Oh, he's not, all the viewers hate him as a character," the Computer answered, raising their confusion, "But they love the running gag of him always getting severely hurt whenever he usually shows up."

The Computer explained, causing them to blink, "Plus, the show constantly teases the audience by making them hope that this time he'll be killed off for good."

 "Oh. Well, Zim supposes that he can see the appeal in watching him suffer," Zim mused.

"I do not normally agree with such a statement, but in this case I can make the exception," Starfire said with a nod, deciding she would feel much better if this Feek was not around anymore. And with that comment, they focused back on the show.

"Enough! You want to play a wedding game?" Just in time to see Blacklight's patience snap as she exploded on Feek, "Then let's play, who can survive the boiling oil the longest, with you going first!" 

 "Okay!" Feek said happily. And without either Blacklight or Bid having to force him, he ran over and jumped off the cliff's edge.

"Wheeeee!" he cried as he fell, eventually hitting one of the oil barrels head first with a splash.

"Yayyyy! It burns!" Was Feek's wide smile cry as his head sunk under the oil, getting creep out looks in turn due to this, before the duo of schemers decided to get things back on track.

"Sigh... now that that annoyance is gone, we can..." Blacklight sighed in relief, before freezing as she realized something very important, "WHERE ARE THEY?!"

Both her cursed sister and Miz were missing!

"I thought you said that trap was fullproof!" Blacklight demanded of a shocked Bid.

"It was! Neither of them should have been able to escape without sending the other into the oil barrel, and we would have heard them splash down!" Bid called back and explained defensively as he scowled.

"You forgot one thing," Before both him and Blacklight whirled around, just in time for Bid to have what appeared to be a green-furred cat jumping on his face, clawing it, "The amazing Miz and beautiful Starlight are too mighty to fall to your plans of patootie!"

"AAAAHHH!!! Get it off!" Bid screamed, struggling to get the cat off his face.

"Good boy, Rig! Claw his stupid face off!" Miz laughed.

"Stupid furball!" Blacklight snarled, trying to grab the cat, only for Starlight to run up and punch her in the face.

"You shall not harn that precious treasure!" Starlight said as she pounced onto Blacklight, with the two girls now grappling, punching, and scratching at each other.

"Zim finds these two Earth-monkeys fighting strangely mesmerizing," Zim stated, finding himself unable to look away from the screen, and being very intrigued by the ongoing fight. For her part, Starfire scowled, for some reason angered by that comment. However, before she could say anything, a familiar voice called from the screen.

"Whoo, that was fun! Who's next?" Feek asked, standing on the edge of the cliff, clothes damp but otherwise looking unaffected by his dip in the oil.

 "You must be kidding Zim," the Irken said, staring in slight disbelief.

"Like I said, the show has a habit of teasing the audience by making them hope that just maybe Feek actually got killed off," the Computer explained in a dry tone.

 "How are you still alive?! That oil should have burned you alive, and ow! Will someone get this stupid cat off of me?!" Bid yelled as he continued to flail around with Rig still clinging to his face.

"Ah, it wasn't that bad. I think it actually fixed up my complexion," Feek replied happily.

"Honestly, after the wolves, buffalo stampede, and falling off a cliff, Miz is half-convinced the Feek is a spirit who wanders the Earth to haunt and torment Miz," Miz said with a scowl and grunt, apparently not surprised to see Feek alive. Disappointed? Very much so. Surprised? Not even close.

"Zim just got a strange chill," Zim remarked with a frown, "Imagine dealing with something as annoying as the Feek, but being unable to kill it!" he proclaimed with widened eyes.

"His resilience would be most impressive, if he was not so off-putting," Starfire said with a nod and frown, neither of them wanting to even think of the idea of being stuck with someone like Feek, and being unable to get rid of him.

"Fortunately, Miz, while impressive, is not as impressive as Zim, and if Zim were ever stuck dealing with Feek, he could easily destroy him," Zim bragged with a grin, "And no matter how resilient the Feek is, Zim could uh... ah..." he blinked, before giving a shrug, "Zim supposes he could feed Feek to a sewer beast, or perhaps throw him into a nest of the Xenomorph abominations."

Zim said with a smirk; after all, nothing could survive that.

"Ohh, I remember hunting those as a child with my sister and k'norfka!" Starfire chirped at the fond childhood memory, prompting a blink and look from Zim, but the show called back his attention before he could inquire about that

"Now, what say we celebrate my buddy's marriage?" Feek called out, with Miz grimacing, before suddenly getting an idea.

"Ah, but it's not Miz who is getting married!" he proclaimed, with Feek giving him a confused blink.

"It's not?"

With Miz smirking wide, "No, it's Bid and Blacklight, and Miz believes that Feek is the perfect person to help give them the best wedding ever~"

 "Wait, what?!" Blacklight exclaimed, looking to Miz in horror, even as he and Starlight grinned evilly.

"Oh yes, that is right sister, you were going on about how you and Bid would now be together, and we do not want to let anything prevent that~" Starlight said with a giggle.

 "Yes, and I'm sure Feek is the perfect person to put in charge of your honeymoon~" Miz added with his own smug smirk as Starlight stepped away from her sister and to Miz's side, Zim unable to ignore and find his eyes drawn to the Earth female's torn clothing a bit.

"Urg, now, hang on..." Bid managed to throw the cat off him, with it immediately scampering off into Starlight arms, "You can't just... GAH!"

He suddenly let out a gasping yelp as Feek grabbed and pulled him and Blacklight into a bear hug, "Oh, this will be so much fun! I'm going to give you the best wedding ever! And I've got so many activities that you, Blacklight, and me can do together!"

 "Why would we be doing things with you on our honeymoon?!" Bid asked incredulously as he and Blacklight struggled futilely against Bid's grip.

"Why is that the part you're focused on?" Blacklight snapped, "Get me way from this freak!"

 "Ah, look at the happy couple~" Miz mocked as a horse arrived, allowing him, Starfire, and the cat Rig to climb onto it.

"This isn't over! I swear I'll claim what's rightfully mine, sister!" Blacklight roared, struggling against Feek's tight grip.

"And I'll expose you for what you really are, Miz!" Bid added with his own glare, while letting out a pained gasp from Feek squeezing harder.

 "Good luck with that, Bid-Donkey!" Miz called back mockingly, he and Starlight laughing as they rode off on the horse.

"Let's do karaoke!" Feek said cheerfully, making Bid and Blacklight both scream in horror.

"Ha! Take that, Bid-Human!" Zim cackled in enjoyment at what he was seeing.

 "It is most joyous to see Starlight and Miz stand triumphant!" Starfire agreed with a wide smile, "I also must confess to finding myself eager for more episodes," she added, looking toward Zim, before getting a curious expression, "And I wonder what other kinds of television of the programming Earth has to offer we might find enjoyable."

She said, both genuinely curious but also wanting to win her bet.

 "Zim highly doubts it," Zim scoffed, making Starfire roll her eyes.

"Then you will not mind if I search through channels for something else to watch?" she asked.

"Go ahead, Zim won't stop you," he said, waving her off. At that, Starfire smiled before picking up the remote and changing the channel to... a man sitting next to a wall with a small bucket of paint.

"Hiya all..." the man said in a dull tone, "Welcome to another exciting episode of Paint and Dry... yay..." he said with his tone not leaking any excitement, "This time we're going to paint this wall a lovely shade of grey."

He said, picking up a brush before dipping it into the paint bucket, "And then spend the next hour watching it dry nice... and... slow..."

He said, with Starfire and Zim finding themselves getting sleepy just from listening to the man speak, never mind from the idea of this show.

"And once again... want to thank not only my fans... who always show support with their joke hate mail to me... and my wife who's a producer on the network... for keeping this show going..." the man stated dully.

"This is perhaps the dullest thing Zim has ever seen... and Zim was forced to go through a training video for janitorial drones... after some obvious clerical error," Zim said with a huff.

"Agreed, perhaps it would be better to see what else is on," Starfire said with a nod of her head and raising the remote...

 CLICK

"And welcome back to Suffer For Money!" a man in a brightly-colored suit and tie said to the camera, standing on a set painted with similarly eye-searing colors, "And here's our next contestant! Are you ready to be physically violated for a moderate amount of cash?"

"Hang on, that's not what I signed on for-" the contestant started to protest, only to be cut off by the host.

"Cue the bee cannon!" he declared, causing a pipe to drop down from the ceiling, aiming at the contestant before disgorging a high-powered stream of bees at him.

"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

"Heh... okay, Zim will admit that is moderately entertaining..." Zim remarked with a slight smirk, always happy to enjoy the pain and suffering of his inferiors.

Starfire, however, was very uncomfortable with seeing this, so quickly changed the channel.

CLICK

"And now we return to today's marathon of Badly-Dubbed Mecha Anime Hour!" an excited voice narrated over an overly-sparkly golden title card.

"Now, Golden-Claw-Hero-Man, you shall fall before my mighty evil might!" an overly-muscular bald man in black armor covered in spikes declared as he stood inside a mecha suit shaped like himself, his words and rapid speech not matching the movements of his mouth.

"I think not, Evil McBad Evil-Doer!" replied a young man with golden armor and similarly-colored spiky hair twice the size of his head, standing inside a mecha likewise shaped like himself, his words and mouth movements also not matching, "Now, let us fight!"

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!" Evil McBad Evil-Doer yelled.

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!" Golden-Claw-Hero-Man yelled back.

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

The camera cut back and forth between the two of their screaming faces several times, before they finally launched their mechas at each other.

 "Zim approves of the violence, but what is with all the screaming? Why not simply doom your enemy?" Zim asked.

 "I agree, this seems like a most unnecessary form of combat," Starfire agreed, watching the mechas punch each other with dramatic flashes of light in-between each hit.

Getting bored with this, she decided to change channels again and see what else was on.

CLICK

 "Hello, and welcome to Love or Dungeon!" Spoke a man smiling to the camera, "Where our lucky girl will choose to save one lucky bachelor of her dreams, while sending the other two to the dungeons!"

"Hang on, no one said anything about it being a literal dungeon!" one of the three men lined up against a stone wall protested nervously.

"Too bad! You should have read those vouchers more carefully before you signed them~" the host laughed.

"Now, let's meet our lucky bachelorette!" the man proclaimed, throwing a hand out to a section that rose up and revealed...

"That has to be one of the most hideous creatures Zim has ever seen!" Zim proclaimed as an Earth-monkey female emerged into view, though Zim was really questioning if that was a woman as she stomped into the room, shaking the floor because she was fatter than Sizz-Lor!

And her face, her horrible, horrible face!

"On second thought, maybe the dungeons wouldn't be so bad," said one bachelor, pale with his eyes showing nothing but fear and disgust.

"Oh goodie! I can't wait to get me a man!" the woman declared in a disturbingly-deep voice and with a wide smile.

"I forfeit!" one of the contestants yelled, turning and trying to run offstage, only to get grabbed by a burly security guard and dragged back to his spot.

"Sorry bachelor, once you're on the show, there's no quitting and it's up to our lovely lady to decide your fate!" proclaimed the host with a wide smile.

 "Hmm, Zim likes watching humans suffer, but this is disturbing," Zim said with a grimace, watching the large cow-woman hop up and down in excitement.

"Let's see who's the best kisser!" she declared, making the contestants turn green with nausea.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!" they all screamed.

"Agreed," Starfire said, quickly changing the channel again.

CLICK

 "Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery! Now harder hitting, faster paced, and even more mysterious~"

 Zim and Starfire both raised eyebrows at this, watching as the show's host stepped onto stage.

"What strange creatures lurk in the dark and forgotten parts of the world?" he intoned, "Is there really anything out there, or are we all just imagining things? On tonight's episode, we seek to answer that question in regards to the most famous of monsters, Bigfoot!"

"Hmm, I believe that I have heard Dib-Monkey ranting about this creature before," Zim mused, watching as film footage started playing on the screen. With a gas station being shown, with it clear to Zim this was inferior Earth-monkey security footage, but what really caught Zim's attention was a large shadowy figure picking up a vending machine, trying to get to the delicious snacks inside.

 "Is this Bigfoot, or just some delinquent who doesn't want to pay for snacks?" the host narrated as the figure walked off with the vending machine heft overhead, apparently having decided that taking the whole thing was easier than trying to get it open here. As they walked off-camera, they briefly walked into the light from an overhead lamp, momentarily illuminating the figure to be a large male, with huge muscles, long red hair with a matching goatee, and blank white eyes, wearing a black and yellow sleeveless outfit of some kind.

 "Hmm, interesting..." Zim murmured, rubbing his chin with an intrigued look, "This creature... this Bigfeet... perhaps it could be useful to Zim," he wondered aloud, "Perhaps Zim could even set it loose on the Dib-Monkey, I'm sure he'd enjoy seeing the creature he seems almost as obsessed with as Zim."

 Starfire wasn't sure how she felt about that. She didn't like the annoying big-headed boy, but she wasn't exactly happy about the idea of sending a creature of some kind after him.

She'd likely have to keep an eye out for that, she thought as she changed the channel again.

CLICK

"Welcome back to Probing the Membrane of Science!" a voice declared as a tall human figure in a white lab coat, face hidden behind its high collar and goggles, and with a familiar scythe-shaped hairstyle, swept onto stage.

"Hmm, that must be Dib-Stink's parental unit, they're near-identical," Zim mused, eyes narrowing.

"Indeed, I do see the resemblance," Starfire said, giving the father of the boy with the rather large cranium a curious look.

"Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode, where we delve into the one true thing we can all depend on in our lives..." Professor Membrane greeted his audience, prompting curious looks from Zim and Starfire, before the Professor exclaimed the last word as energy seemed to spark around him, "SCIENCE!"

"And not ridiculous silly nonsense like spacemen..." he added, with a tone of exasperation as he maintained the pose he took, "Since as we all know, there's no such things as aliens!"

"He does not believe in aliens?" Starfire asked with a blink.

"Apparently not," Zim said in bemusement, before snorting and adding, "That probably explains a lot about the Dib-Stink's obsessive personality."

"Indeed... seeking validation from your loved ones is always a powerful motivator," Starfire said with a nod and thoughtful look... wondering why she found herself thinking of her sister for a moment... perhaps because of her worry and hope that Blackfire and the rest of Tamaran were doing well? After all, it wasn't like Blackfire needed validation like the zor'duni... right?

As Starfire pondered that, Professor Membrane continued speaking.

"What is real, however, is my latest and most groundbreaking creation so far this month!" he declared, as something covered with a sheet rolled up behind him, the Professor turning to grab the sheet, "Behold, my newest invention..."

With that, he flung the sheet aside to reveal what was hidden underneath it.

"Super Toast!"

"Eh?" Zim gave a confused blink at the Earth science monkey, filled with confusion.

"Forgive me, but is the toast not a human food?" Starfire questioned, sharing the Irken's confusion.

"Yes it is, a very common and basic one. Zim does not see the appeal of this," Zim commented as the audience murmured at the Professor's declaration.

"Now, I know that you all must be very confused," Membrane stated, "But it is really quite simple. Super Toast is a highly concentrated version of normal toast, with many times the nutritional value. Behold, a demonstration!"

At that point, a sickly old man was escorted onto the stage from behind a curtain. Professor Membrane carefully handed him a slice of Super Toast, allowing the old man to delicately take a bite of it... and moments later, the old man's muscles swelled up to bodybuilder sizes, his clammy skin cleared up, his sparse white hair darkened and swept down his back in a massive mane, and he seemed to grow as his bent back straightened out.

...

...

...

Stunned silence filled the room, along with Zim and Starfire.

"Okay... Zim begins to see the appeal," the Irken said with a slight stunned look...

"Most impressive," Starfire said, likewise stunned as she watched the now very fit old man start doing one-handed pushups.

"With Super Toast providing improved health to all who eat it, I have changed the world for the better once again!" Professor Membrane declared, his audience bursting into applause in response.

"Hmm, Zim may have to make a point of eliminating this one early on in order to make my inevitable conquest easier," Zim mused.

Starfire gave him a wary look, "Would that not be... wasteful?" she said, thinking of senseless loss of life.

"Hmm, yes, his mind could be put to use for the Irken Empire, and the look on the Dib-Monkey's face as his parental unit serves Zim would be delicious~" Zim agreed with a smug smirk, missing Starfire's point completely. Causing her to sigh, once again questioning if her honor was worth repaying her debt to Zim if it meant having to keep being an accomplice to this sort of thing he was plotting.

Before she could pursue that line of thought, however, the front door suddenly opened. Zim and Starfire looked towards it, and blinked as GIR entered the house, still wearing his dog costume and carrying a shopping bag. Noticing that they saw him, the robot did a poor job of trying to hide the bag behind his back and walked into the kitchen.

Eyes narrowing suspiciously, Zim got off the couch and followed after GIR, Starfire doing likewise with a concerned look.

"GIR, what are you doing?" he demanded as he entered the kitchen and saw GIR drop the bag on the table, spilling its contents.

"Nothing," GIR replied quickly.

"Nothing... or something?" Zim pressed, making GIR gasp.

"Oh, I can't take it, you're too smart for me!" he said, pulling the hood of his disguise back to reveal his face, "Keef is planning a surprise party for after Skool. He gonna bring all the kids because he loves you!"

GIR started pounding on the floor dramatically.

"That boy loves you so much!" he cried, before stopping and cheerfully adding, "I'm makin' the cake!"

"HE'S WHAT?!" Zim ignored the last statement about cake as he focused on what was truly important.

"It seems the creepy that is Keef does not know how to, as the Earthlings put it... take a hint," Starfire said with a worried frown at this revelation.

"No he doesn't, and now the entire mission is in jeopardy!" Zim exclaimed, his expression a mixture of both fury and panic, "Do you two realize what could happen if that idiotic Keef-monkey brings all the Earth smelly smeets to Zim's base?!"

He exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Yes! ...Um, wait... no," GIR said, while now stirring some cake batter in a bowl.

"It means our mission is in jeopardy!" Zim exclaimed.

"Aw, man," GIR said, before going back to stirring the batter while humming happily.

"Something must be done about this Keef! If he succeeds, the whole population of Earth will show up on our doorstep!" Zim yelled in panic.

"Is that not an exaggeration?" Starfire asked worriedly, "Surely the human children coming here for a party cannot be such a threat to your mission?"

"All humans are a potential threat to the mission!" Zim snapped, giving her a stern look, "Zim can already see them now with their torches and pitchforks... stuffing poor Zim in a tube full of green liquid... dancing all around Zim or riding a roller coaster around in Zim's base... making a mockery of ZIM!"

 "Roller coaster?" Starfire repeated, blinking in confusion, "That is a human entertainment device, is it not? Why would they...?"

"You're missing the point!" Zim snapped, "They shall make Zim a prisoner if allowed, and probably you as well! Zim will not allow it! For Zim will doom anyone who tries to chain Zim's mighty General!'

 Starfire blushed at that, finding it quite nice that Zim felt protective towards her.

"Oh, um... thank you," she stammered, before shaking her head to focus, "But, what do you intend to do about this?"

 "Obviously, Zim's trouble started with Keef, so the creepy friendly abomination must go," Zim said, scowling.

"I will admit that I'm not against that... as something about him is unnerving," Starfire said with a frown, "But would not him disappearing raise unwanted questions?'

 "Hmm... Zim supposes that you have a point," Zim said, scratching his chin in thought, "Eliminating him to stop him from bringing other humans here is pointless if it just raises suspicion further. We need to neutralize Keef in a way that keeps people's attention off of us. Fortunately, Zim is a genius and can easily think of a plan to get rid of the Keef," Zim stated with a smirk, "Just leave it all to Zim, and the fool shall trouble us no more!"

"Ah, if you insist," Starfire nodded, "But what should I do in the meantime?"

"Keep an eye on GIR and make sure that he doesn't somehow make this all worse," Zim grumbled, glancing at where GIR was still stirring the cake batter.

"Understood," Starfire said, immediately floating over and picking up GIR, "Come along, little bumgorf, perhaps you'd enjoy watching more of the program of the television with me."

"Aw, but what about the cake?" GIR asked, gesturing to the bowl with the ladle still in his hand.

"Umm... We can make it later. We have plenty of time until the party, yes?" Starfire replied reassuringly.

"Okay!" GIR said happily.

(Later)

"Partyyyyyyy!!!" Cheered out the form of Keef as he ran down the street, leading four of his classmates to his best pal and buddy Zim's house! Though they were such close friends, Zim's house was already practically as second home to him~

And he was so excited to throw Zim this surprise party to cheer him up from being sick. Though it was a shame that many of their classmates didn't want to come for some reason... but they were probably busy.

Sure, Jessica called Zim "the freaky kid with an even freakier friend", but Keef knew she was just joking around in all good fun~ After all, she always called him a circus freak when she found out he was raised by the circus after his parents accidentally left him behind at a show as a toddler. But they were so happy to see him again when he showed up on their doorstep after all those years apart that they burst into tears of joy~ The boy thought with a wide beaming smile, unaware those tears at the time were anything but joyful.

 Anyway, that didn't matter. He did manage to bring at least a few classmates along, and between them, him, GIR, Zim and Zim's pretty girlfriend, that was more than enough. This was going to be the best party ever! Keef thought as he approached Zim's house.

 "Hey Zim, I'm home!" Keef called as he opened the door with a large smile.

"I do not believe that this is your home," remarked Starfire with a frown from her position on the couch next to GIR wearing his disguise, both of them watching the TV, which had the Scary Monkey Show on it.

Personally, Starfire really didn't see the draw in it or why it was a show - it was just a primate staring into the camera, scratching or sometimes snarling, but GIR seemed to enjoy it, so it was a good way of keeping him occupied.

"Hehe, ah, you're such a kidder~" But she shook that off as the creepy boy of the Keef addressed her with a laugh and wide smile, "I know that Zim, GIR, and you already consider me part of the family~"

He exclaimed with a positive expression... and for once, Starfire found herself not a fan of positivity... she was all for it really, always preferring to see the better part of life... but something about the way the Keef displayed it felt... unnatural.

However, before she could reply, Zim walked into the room holding... a present?

"For me? Oh, you are my bestest friend, thank you, Zim!" Keef called out with an eager grin.

 Starfire blinked at that, not understanding why Zim would give Keef a gift. However, before she could question it, Zim shot her a look and gestured her to stay quiet, so she did.

"Here you go," Zim said, shoving the box into Keef's hands. Squeaking happily, he tore its wrapping off and opened it... and two mechanical arms popped out and grabbed him by the face.

"AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!" Keef screamed as the arms ripped his eyes out, before shoving two electronic replacements into the sockets. The digital eyes flashed red, and Keef's screaming immediately cut off, his body slumping as he went into a trance.

Starfire, meanwhile, stared in wide-eyed shock at what she had just seen, face going pale.

That... he... had... had Zim... just ripped out and replaced the creepy boy's eye balls?! She was hardly a fan of his presence, but that seemed to be most over the line and unnecessary! She couldn't help but think, while at the same time realizing for all she had been enjoying his company earlier, and his aid the other night... Zim was still a ruthless Irken Invader.

"Keef..." She turned, still pale, to Zim who didn't notice his Tamaranean General's distress as he addressed the human annoyance who had oh so foolishly fallen right into Zim's ingenious trap!

"Yesss..." Groaned Keef in a dazed hypnotic monotone.

"Who's your best friend?" Zim asked with a dark look.

"That would be Zim..." Keef answered, staring out the window with an empty expression in his new digital eyes, "Today, he got me-"

"Silence!" Zim interrupted, "When I snap my fingers, the next living thing you see, you will believe to be your best friend."

"I like Zim," Keef said robotically.

"I know you do, but pay attention!" Zim snapped, before turning to the shocked Starfire, "Quickly, hide!"

Starfire found herself instinctively following the command, floating up to the ceiling out sight, while giving Zim an unnerved look, though it went unnoticed as Zim ascended to the ceiling beside her, before snapping his fingers.

Immediately, Keef's digital eyes flashed and he came out of his trance.

"What happened?" he asked, confused, before glancing out the window and going stiff as he laid eyes on a squirrel, which to his digital eyes and subconscious hypnotic commands appeared to be Zim.

"Zim? How'd you get out there? Hey, wait up!" Keef called as the squirrel took off, "I have a surprise for you!"

He yelled out as he left the room, leaving Zim to laugh in triumph.

"Humans and their friendship!" the Irken spat in disgust, "Invaders need no one! NO ONE!" he proclaimed with menace as Starfire gave him a nervous, if not slightly fearful look... right before the parts of the ceiling that Zim PAK legs were hanging onto collapsed, sending him falling to the ground.

"Urg! ...A little help," Zim said with a pained groan.

"I thought Invaders needed no one," Starfire said, hovering over him with a frown, "And was such extreme methods really needed for the creepy boy?" she added with a scowl

"Ugh, yes!" Zim snapped painfully as he tried to crawl out from under the debris, "He would have kept coming back otherwise! Besides, would you have preferred Zim kill him? Would that have satisfied your precious honor instead?"

"...No, it would not have," she muttered after a moment of thought, sighing as she leaned down to pull the debris off of Zim, "I still do no approve, however."

Zim frowned at that.

 "Last Zim checked, Zim didn't require your approval, General," he said with a pointed look, "And showing such sentimental sympathy to the Earth-monkeys will only make our mission harder," he added with a scowl, "They are the enemy, we are here to conquer them!"

 "You are here to conquer them, I am merely fulfilling my debt," Starfire said as Zim stood up, "And I will continue to do so, because I do have honor, even if you mock it. But do not expect me to like it when you are excessively cruel about it."

 And before Zim could say another word, she turned and walked off with a huff.

"And where are you going?" Zim demanded with a glare, feeling quite upset at her attitude and words.

"To my room to rest... I find myself not enjoying the current company," Starfire answered over her shoulder as she left Zim stewing in the living room, while idly wondering why part of her felt disappointed in him... like she had been expecting better of the Irken Invader. Yet for some reason, she couldn't help but feel betrayed and angry, she thought as she wandered lower into the base.

For his part, Zim watched her go, scowling at her words towards him. How dare she speak to her master like that?! And why did it make him feel so bad?

"Master, are you and pretty lady getting a divorce?" GIR asked worriedly, snapping Zim out of his thoughts.

"GIR, for the last time, we are not mates! She is my General, and I am her master!" Zim spat, scowling, "And the sooner she realizes this and stops holding us back with things like sympathy or honor, the better!"

He added with a huff, scowling as GIR tilted his head.

"Now, if you'll excuse me... Zim is going to start working on a plan to conquer the Earth-monkeys... perhaps weasels... with lasers," he muttered to himself, assured that Zim was in the right, he was always right! Keef was in the way of the mission, and Zim did what had to be done! Zim was even merciful by sparing the fool's life!

So... why was Zim bothered by the Tamaranean being so upset? It wasn't like her opinion of Zim mattered! No one's did, except for the Tallest, and obviously they would never demean Zim the way that the damned Tamaranean just had!

Well, if she wanted to be that way, fine! Let her sulk at not being able to withstand Zim's greatness! She could come crawling to him for forgiveness once she realized that she was wrong.

Chapter Text

"Now, if you'll excuse me... Zim is going to start working on a plan to conquer the Earth-monkeys... perhaps weasels... with lasers," he muttered to himself, assured that Zim was in the right, he was always right! Keef was in the way of the mission, and Zim did what had to be done! Zim was even merciful by sparing the fool's life!

So... why was Zim bothered by the Tamaranean being so upset? It wasn't like her opinion of Zim mattered! No one's did, except for the Tallest, and obviously they would never demean Zim the way that the damned Tamaranean just had!

Well, if she wanted to be that way, fine! Let her sulk at not being able to withstand Zim's greatness! She could come crawling to him for forgiveness once she realized that she was wrong.

 (A week later)

"WHY HASN'T SHE COME CRAWLING TO ZIM FOR FORGIVENESS?!" The Irken demanded as he paced, down in the lab with a scowl, disguise off.

"It's a mystery, sir," the Computer said in a dry tone, "I mean, you only ripped a human smeet's eyeballs out and replaced them with digital duplicates right in front of her."

 "Exactly! Zim did what was necessary to get rid of that annoyance, and to protect the mission!" the Irken exclaimed in frustration.

 Why was the blasted Tamaranean being so difficult? Everything that Zim did was for the glory of completing his mission in the name of the Empire! You'd think a so-called warrior like her would understand that! Besides, didn't she realize that eliminating Keef as a threat had protected her from exposure to the humans too? Would she rather be rotting in a lab, being experimented on?!

 And just the thought of her strapped to a table, helpless to the Earth-monkeys' inferior scientists looming over her, with the Dib-Worm himself appearing leering as he held a scalpel in one hand, and reached out to her with his other... IT FILLED ZIM WITH FURY!

 "RAAAGGGHHH!!!" Zim yelled, punching the wall to vent his rage, only to wince in pain and pull his hand back afterwards.

"Ugh, why am I so upset about something happening to someone other than Zim?" he muttered as he massaged his hand, frowning at his own actions.

 "I believe that's call empathy, sir," the Computer said flatly, "That, or GIR might actually be right about you having a thing for her... either or."

 "Nonsense! Zim has a "thing" for no one!" Zim protested, glaring at the ceiling.

The Computer scoffed at that, but before it could retort, an alert went off in its systems.

"Intruder detected on surface level!" it declared.

"What?!" Zim yelled, before turning and leaping into an elevator that led him to the surface. Emerging into the living room, Zim felt his panic and anger immediately melt into annoyance as he saw GIR sitting on the couch in his dog costume, drinking a slushy drink labeled "Suck Monkey". And more importantly to Zim, the front door was wide open.

"You let the door open again, GIR!" he snapped.

"I got chocolate bubblegum~" GIR replied happily, mouth full of his treat.

 "Urgg..." Zim's expression turned nauseous for a moment, looking like he was about to be sick before shaking it off, "You need to stop being so careless, GIR!" He snapped with a stern glare to his robotic minion, "The incident with that friendly abomination Keef was bad enough, last thing we need is the base open to any of the smelly Earth-monkeys to trespass whenever they please!'

 Unknown to Zim, however, this had already happened. Because while he ranted at an oblivious GIR, a certain large-headed figure was currently scurrying around on the ceiling in a black stealth suit like a ninja. Ironically, GIR actually noticed this while his master didn't, but he didn't comment on it. He just watched with a partially open mouth, drooling his drink as his gaze followed Dib around the ceiling.

 "With an entire planet of enemies waiting for us to drop our guard, we have to be very careful, not to have our guards get all... uh.. droppy," Zim however didn't notice this, more focused on lecturing his SIR unit, "Understand?"

Zim asked with a pointed look toward GIR... just to see the dog disguised robot looking up with an empty gaze.

"I'll take that as a yes," Zim said with a grunt, rubbing his face, "Zim is honestly in no mood for this."

He said with a grumble as he turned around, "Zim is going down below to check the laser weasel experiment... they should be just about ripe, and just the thing to distract Zim from certain ungrateful minions..."

The Irken muttered and grumbled under his breath. With that, he walked over to shut the door, before turning and walking back towards the corner of the room, where a dresser slid aside to reveal a hover platform.

"Computer! Take me to the weasels!" he ordered.

"Wow!" Dib called out from his hiding spot. Zim's eyes widened at that, and he spun around to face its source, just in time for Dib to pull out a camera and take his picture.

"It wasn't me!" Dib said nervously.

"Yes, it was! Computer! Intruder alert!" Zim snarled.

At that, one of the cables on the ceiling started to move, along with holes opening up revealing metallic tentacles that attempted to grab at Dib's form, with the Earth boy dropping to the ground, as Zim realized he was dressed in some sort of infiltration uniform.

"Don't let him escape!" Zim cried out as Dib screamed, avoiding metallic claws that snapped at him, at first running to a chair and then dodging one claw as he leapt off it, over the couch, and... through the open window!

Zim realized, his eyes widening as the Dib-Monkey rose up, looking through the window back into the living room.

"Now I have proof, Zim! Photographic evidence! Soon your Zim guts will be spewed all over an autopsy video!" Dib bragged while holding up the camera, unaware that one of the lawn gnomes behind him had activated and was moving in to capture him... yes... yes, keep talking, Dib-Monkey... only to have his face fall when Dib, laughing, dodged the gnomes and leapt over the one behind him, retreating from Zim's base!

"You left the window open too?!" Zim snapped, turning from the window to look at GIR with annoyance and anger.

"Ohhh yeahh..." GIR gave a nod of realization at that, before returning to his drink.

"ARRGGGG! THIS IS A DISASTER!" Zim snapped, before hollering out, "STARFIRE! REPORT TO ZIM IMMEDIATELY!" He bellowed, his voice echoing through the base, "If Zim and his General move fast enough, we might be able to catch up with the Earth-Monkey and destroy that evidence that could expose everything!"

...

...

...

"...Where is she?!" Zim demanded angrily.

"The General sends her apologies, but says that she's preoccupied," the Computer said dryly.

"WHAT?!" Zim gave an angry glare, "Pre... what could be preoccupying Zim's General?! WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN SAVING THE MISSION?!"

"She just said that she's sure a great and powerful Invader like you can handle things by yourself," the Computer said in amusement.

"Well... obviously I can... but that is beside the point! The point is she should be ready to report to Zim with a smile at Zim's command!" Zim snapped with a stomp of his foot, "This petty sulking for the past Earth week has gone on long enough!"

 "You want to argue with her about, go ahead, I'm sure that Dib will appreciate the head start," the Computer scoffed.

 "I... you... grrrr! Zim will deal with his General later! For now, Zim must try to catch up with Dib-Monkey!" Zim snapped, already planning to have a number of words with that Tamaranean when he got back, as he quickly put on his disguise and rushed out of his base. Leaving the base silent for several moments before the Computer spoke up.

"You know you can't keep avoiding him forever..." It stated as the form of Starfire floated into the living room with a frown.

"Perhaps not, but it would serve to show that arrogant zar'pyak that I am not his attack Worpog," she added with a huff.

 "I think you're underestimating how stubborn he is," the Computer chuckled.

"So you say, but I can be stubborn as well, as my sister always said," Starfire said with a frown.

"You've mentioned this sister of yours a few times... care to share?" the Computer asked, seeing Starfire expression and calculated that it had more to do than just with Zim alone.

"It's nothing... I'm just feeling a bit of the sick for home," Starfire said while rubbing her arms.

"Hmm... honestly, the whole Tamaranean honor code put aside... I'm surprised you've stuck with Zim for this long," the Computer stated matter-of-factly, as the alien took a seat next to GIR, "Much less haven't tried to kill him."

"But then that would be even more dishonorable, to do so after he saved me," Starfire sighed.

"Your people really do make things complicated, don't they?" the Computer sighed.

"My sister said as much many a time," Starfire said with a frown, "But complicated or not... I know that repaying my debt is the right thing to do... even if I disagree with Zim's actions."

She said with a sigh, leaning back on the couch as she took GIR into her arms, hugging him close, "I just wish he would understand my side in all this."

"Yeah, well, you were raised in a culture of honorable warriors, and he was raised by vicious conquerors," the Computer commented, "That's not exactly a clash of mindsets that's going to be easy to get over."

"No... no it is not..." Starfire said with a sigh as she found herself looking down at GIR on her lap, "And strangely enough... I hope we can understand each other..."

It was odd that such a thought came to her. Maybe it was the bond forged in battle, but she felt a connection with Zim, and she didn't like that this argument had strained it.

"Well, hopefully what just happened will take his mind off it," the Computer commented, "And you should try finding something that'll do the same; maybe that will help you both calm down enough to properly process this."

"That sounds like a most wonderful suggestion," Starfire said smiling a bit more, "I could use some clearing of the head," she agreed, before frowning, "But what should I do?"

 "Walkies!" Before blinking and looking at GIR, who gave her an eager smile... with his drink dripping out his mouth... though Starfire only found it adorable~

"Walkies, my little bumgorf?" Starfire repeated, before looking more thoughtful, "Hmm, I have been meaning to explore the city of Doomville a bit more," she admitted, her expression turning a bit perplexed, "Perhaps find out why they chose such a name for their it," she added with a confused mutter before shaking it off, "But taking you out for a walk tomorrow sounds like a most glorious activity!"

"Yay!" GIR cheered, hugging Starfire, who happily returned it.

Yes, she would clear her head with a nice walk. That would help fix everything, surely.

After all, what was the worst that could happen on a walk?

 (Elsewhere in the city, next day)

"Investigator log. I've been observing the lizardmen that have been infiltrating the city workforce. I realize now how shortsighted I was to believe that Cocofang had contacted allies from space... he would never be so small-minded!" Spoke out the form of Bill as he slammed a fist against a wall as he stared up at an array of pictures taken of various Gordanians in various "disguises" and new working positions, "He was seeking to manipulate other threats to Earth from the shadows, allowing alien invaders to arrive as a distraction to allow his allies from the lizard people society to infiltrate our society!"

He leaned back, frowning as he held up a recording to his mouth, "Most so-called paranormal researchers believe they've already infiltrated our society, but I know the chameleon people who served as the infiltration units of their society were wiped out during the great coconut wars of the 1950s."

 "No, this is a new threat, summoned by Cocofang to take over our world from the inside out!" Bill ranted, glaring at the pictures, "Oh, they're being clever about it, starting at unimportant positions like janitors and fry cooks and carwash operators, but I know the truth. They're trying to gain our trust so that they can work their way up the ladder until they're in middle management, where the true power lies! From there, they'll be able to manipulate our leadership without actually putting themselves in the spotlight, enabling them to weaken all our defenses against the cereal vampire hordes! And what's worse, due to the destruction of that alien ship, Cocofang's dark minions are not only eagerly scavenging alien technology, but have managed to make Earth seem like a true threat and target from the danger lurking in the stars."

 As he said this, Bill looked to the various photographs spread across his board, showing Cocofang's minions gathering up the alien technology. Although in actuality, these "minions" were just average people picking up what they thought were random pieces of interesting-looking junk, not that Bill's paranoid mind could really grasp that.

"I will have to step up my game, or soon, we will all become nothing but Cocofang's slaves, toiling endlessly in the chocolate mines!" Bill ranted into his recorder, "I refuse to let humanity fall to the vampiric menace, his lizard peons, or even little green men from the stars," He added, gripping the recorder tighter, "Though in this case... the alien threat is neither green nor a man."

 With that, Bill looked towards one photo in particular - specifically of Starfire in her armor, eyes glowing brightly as she tore her way through the Gordanian ranks.

"It is painfully obvious that this orange woman is an alien scout, inadvertently drawn to Earth by Cocofang's actions and preparing us for an invasion by her people," Bill mused, "Where exactly she's from is unclear. Possibly Venus, based on that skin tone, but I can't be 100 percent sure of that. Regardless, I can't let the threat of Cocofang blind me to other threats of humanity," He said with a hard tone, "I must find and apprehend this alien scout, not only for the safety of the planet, but to obtain any knowledge and secrets she has..."

He said, before adding with a hum, "And on a side note, the confirmation of alien life... has me reopening my old theory on vampires being a result of an alien virus, and that the brainwashing concoction known as cereal was left behind when they visited Earth eons ago, having the poor fools that ate it build those pointless pyramids as a test for humanity's capability as a slave species."

He tapped his chin in thought at that, before shaking his head.

"But that will have to wait for another time to investigate," he said, "For now, I need to focus on finding this alien, and stopping whatever foul scheme she's no doubt plotting even at this moment!"

(Zim's base, same time)

"Are you ready to go, little bumgorf?" Starfire asked GIR, both of them in their "disguises" and preparing to head out for their walk.

"Uh huh, uh huh..." GIR responded with an eager nod, "I'm gonna give everyone a big hug!" He exclaimed, hugging himself, causing Starfire to smile at the sight and words.

"Most adorable~ I'm sure there are many who would appreciate such a gift from a sweet little bumgorf like you~"

"I'd advise against that," the Computer commented dryly, "Most humans don't seem like they'd like random dogs running up and hugging them."

"I do not see why not," Starfire said with a blink, but shrugged, "However, I will take your words into consideration. But I'm sure that the little bumgorf and I will have a wonderful time exploring the human city of Doomsville," she said with an eager smile, "I am most eager to take in the human culture first hand, and learn more about this planet."

"And win your bet with Zim?" the Computer asked teasingly.

"Well... I would not be opposed to that," Starfire admitted with a cough, "Speaking of which, where is he? It seems too early for him to have gone to the human educational facility."

"He's out working on a plan for how to sabotage Dib's photograph of him from last night," the Computer replied, "And before you ask, it's not lethal... but it's also stupid, so I don't expect it to work out for him."

"I see..." Starfire said with a frown, "I'm surprised he didn't attempt to ask for my assistance... or rather order it," she said with a frown.

"I think he realized it wouldn't go anywhere for him, and he didn't seem in the mood to waste time," the Computer said back, and if it could shrug it would.

"Hmm, and forgive me... but you don't seem to have the most faith in Zim's plan?" Starfire added with an arched brow.

The Computer was quiet for a few moments as it carefully considered its response.

"Zim does have a genius-level intellect... but he rarely bothers to think things through all the way," the Computer admitted, "So no, I don't think this is going to work out the way he hopes it will."

Starfire frowned, taking in the Computer's words.

"Zim is... most eager to leap into the action..." she admitted, having gotten that kinda vibe from Zim, being the type of warrior who let his eagerness control him too much, "But I believe he is also capable of surprising you."

She added, finding herself surprisingly defending the Irken. Something the Computer noticed with mild amusement, but chose not to comment on.

"Well, I guess we'll see," it said instead, "In the meantime, enjoy your walk."

 "We shall. Come, little bumgorf, I have heard of this place known as the park of the dogs that sounds most delightful," Starfire said with a smile as GIR let out an excited cheer before running straight out of the door... without Starfire.

Her eyes widened before she called out, "Bumgorf, wait for me! You still need the leash of walking!" Before flying out after him, closing the door behind her with a slam.

Leaving the Computer to sarcastically remark to itself, "Well, those two are bound to have a quiet day of no chaos whatsoever."

 (Soon)

"No, little bumgorf, I do not believe we are allowed to be eating the entire food cart!" Starfire yelped in panic as GIR was headfirst inside a hot dog cart's storage area and was eating his way through the contents, the fact that the meat wasn't cooked yet not seeming to bother him. Also, the man selling the dogs of the hot seemed most upset.

"Hey, you have to pay for those!" He called out angrily with a red face... before letting out a startled cry as GIR, mouth stuffed with hot dogs, leapt out at him.

"Hiya hot dog man! Do you taste yummy?" He screamed before biting down on the man's arm, with him only having a moment to regret dressing up like a hot dog to attract customers before he started screaming in pain.

 "No! Bad bumgorf! Do not be eating the nice food man!" Starfire said. Rushing forward, she grabbed ahold of GIR and tried to pull him away... but she misjudged his own grip on the cart vendor, and he was dragged along, dangling from GIR's mouth as Starfire lifted him up.

Frowning at this, Starfire shook GIR around to try and dislodge him, causing the vendor to scream in panic as he was shook around in the air.

TEAR

Until finally, the sleeve of his costume tore free... and since this was mid-shake, he was sent flying through the air.

BANG

And slammed right into his cart, knocking it over.

 "Um... my apologies... but I believe we must be, uh... be doing the leaving now... yes," Starfire said with a worried expression, that only grew at the sounds of sirens approaching. After all, she didn't think getting in trouble with the Earth authorities would help her blend in all that well.

So with that, she turned and ran off, resisting the urge to fly. While it would be easier, it would also attract unwanted attention.

 "Hey, scum bag!" A police officer said as he got out of his car.

"Urg, thank goodness you're here, there was this - OW!" The man in the hot dog suit groaned in relief before calling out in pain as the officer started to pepper spray his face.

"Dirt bags like you make me sick! Breaking the waste no weenie law!"

 "Yeah, don't you know that's there's people starving all over the place? And you go wasting food?!" the officer's partner said as he walked over to cuff the vendor.

"But I didn't-"

WHACK

"OW!" the vendor yelled as one of the cops hit him in the stomach with a baton.

"Save it for your lawyer, freak!" the officer snapped as he and his partner escorted the vendor to their car.

 And as the innocent food vendor was arrested and would later be sentenced to life working unpaid at Deelishus Weenie, Starfire and GIR continued their walk.

"Aw, lookie, it's a clown!" GIR said, causing Starfire to stiffen as she looked toward the location GIR was pointing, a street corner where a mime was practicing their act... but Starfire was unaware of this, she only saw one of the cursed abominations!

"Abomination Killager Klown! Your people will not infest this planet!" she roared, believing it was one of the most murderous species in the galaxy, that traveled planet to planet infesting it and consuming the populace... unaware that said species and Earth clowns just happened to resemble each other a great deal, only Earth clowns were somehow creeper despite not being killers from outer space... and that a mime wasn't even counted as a clown.

 Said mime blinked and looked to Starfire in confusion. But before he could do anything-

BAM

Starfire rushed forward and slammed a glowing fist into his face. This sent him flying through the air and across the street to slam into a passing truck, causing the vehicle to swerve out of control and ram a dumpster sitting on the sidewalk.

BOOM

Resulting in a huge explosion, despite the fact that there wasn't nearly enough combustible material involved to have done so.

 "The abomination has been vanquished! I am victorious!" Starfire roared, her eyes glowing green and holding up a fist.

"YAY! He exploded into confetti!" GIR cheered, clapping his hands gleefully.

 "Yes he did, bumgorf," Starfire said happily, patting GIR on the head, "Now, let us go celebrate this victory with the partaking of the cream of ice! Perhaps they have a mustard flavor," she added with a thoughtful look.

 Soon after, the two were helping themselves to ice cream, Starfire casually licking a cone while GIR messily worked his way through a sundae. To Starfire's disappointment (and the ice cream seller's confusion) there was no mustard flavor, but the chocolate she had gotten was pretty good.

 "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!" But turned her attention to GIR as he finished his sundae covered in ice cream and hungry for more... so much so that he pounced on the next table, devouring their ice cream.

"Ah! No, bad GIR!" Starfire exclaimed, feeling deja vu over the situation as she darted over to pull GIR away from the table he was terrorizing, "Do not steal other people's cream of ice!"

Only to get a chocolate cone thrown at her face as a result.

"Wheee! Ice CREAM PARTY!" GIR yelled happily, before turning and throwing another cone across the room, where it hit another customer on the back of the head.

"Hey! Who did that?!" the very large and muscular man demanded as he stood up and looked around. Apparently not noticing GIR, he instead turned and grabbed another customer at a nearby table, picking him up and punching him in the face, sending him flying into another table. Several of the people seated there yelled angrily in response, and started lashing out at everyone around them, seemingly in random outrage.

Before long, a full-on riot had broken out in the ice cream shop, Starfire blinking and looking around at this in confusion.

"Is this common for the human shop of the cream that is ice?" she wondered aloud before smiling, "It reminds me of home!" she called out excitedly, before letting out a roar as she chose to join the fray.

Some time later, she was the only one still standing, the rest of the fighting customers having all been knocked out. Most of them by her, in fact.

"Flawless victory!" GIR declared happily, while Starfire pouted.

"Is it over already? It was only beginning to get to be the fun," she said.

"Please... take all the ice cream you want... just please leave..." before blinking as an employee crawled toward her on the ground while holding up a large sundae.

"How wonderful! Look bumgorf, a prize for our victory!" Starfire declared, taking and holding up the large sundae in the air... before being tackled by GIR, "ICE CREAM!"

For her part, Starfire wasn't hurt by the impact, just giggling as the ice cream spilled over her and GIR started licking it off of her.

"Hehe, this is growing to be a most glorious day~" she laughed, feeling her concerns and worries about her situation with Zim melting away, at least for the moment. Perhaps a day of the outing was really all she needed to relax.

"I believe we can head to the park of the dog-walking now," she added, smiling to GIR.

 "Yay!" GIR cheered, jumping up and once again running out the door on his own.

"Wait! Oh, not again!" Starfire muttered, getting up and running after GIR once more.

 "Oh, thank goodness they're gone," the employee said, nearly crying in relief... and missing a large shadowy figure that loomed over them. But when he looked up, he paled and squeaked.

"Uh... welcome to Swirly Dirly... I'm afraid we about to close early, sir," he said with a gulp.

 "Oh, is that right?" the large red-haired figure whom Starfire would have recognized from the episode of Mysterious Mysteries she watched with Zim, "And why are you closing without me getting my Rocky Road?"

"Please, it's not my fault!" the employee pleaded, "That girl and her dog ate all our supply!"

 "Is that so?" the figure reached down, grabbing and pulling the employee up to his face with a dark glare, "And just where did this girl and dog go?" He asked with a growl, causing the employee to gulp.

 "I... I think she said that they were going to the dog park!" the employee stammered.

"Oh yeah? Well, I guess I'm going to have to go have a talk with her," the figure growled.

"Um... does that mean that you're not going to hurt me?" the employee asked nervously, only for the figure to give him a deadpan look.

 "Yeah... I figured," The employee said with a sigh, before finding himself thrown right into the milkshake machine behind the counter. Dusting his hands off afterwards, the figure turned and walked out of the store with a nasty grin in place.

"Okay, lady... let's have words about what happens when you get between Mammoth and his snacks~" he said, baring his fangs.

And as he made his way out to track down the two who spoiled his treat, Starfire had arrived at the dog park with GIR.

"Oh, look at all the humans with their furry companions," she said, smiling at GIR, "This could be a wonderful chance to make some friends, my little bumgorf."

 "Yay! Imma gonna hug 'em til their heads explode!" GIR cheered, making Starfire flinch.

"Um... I am glad that you are excited, but maybe do not do that," she said with a forced smile. After all, the Klown abomination aside, she'd rather the little bumgorft didn't get too overeager and harm someone by accident... again.

 And those little... mishaps aside, this was shaping up to be a most pleasant day, she thought as she watched GIR chase another dog around a tree.

 Unaware that the day was going to take a more unpleasant turn.

 (Elsewhere in the park)

"Investigator's log," Bill spoke into his recorder as he crouched in a bush, "As part of my ongoing search for the alien scout, I have searched all the places that aliens are likely to gravitate towards. As such, I have eliminated all local coffee shops and public bathrooms as possible alien safe houses, and am now searching the trash cans of all local parks. So far I've found nothing unusual," Bill muttered to himself, arching a brow as he saw a green dog chasing a squirrel while laughing, "Just the usual ignorant unaware citizens and their pets," he remarked with a frown, "The most unique thing I've spotted is a rare breed of green-furred dog... likely a sign of mutation. But in any case, regardless of the false starts and dead ends, I shall persevere! Nothing shall stop my mission, and-!"

"Hey buddy, ya mind knocking that off?" an old man seated on a nearby bench feeding breadcrumbs to a pigeon snapped, "I'm trying to enjoy my last lingering days of life feeding the birds, and I can't do that with you talking to yourself in a bush like a creep!"

Bill frowned at this, "My apologies," he stated, before talking into his microphone, "Note to self, the elderly population continues to get crankier... could be another plot of Cocofang to weaken and distract humanity."

With that, he got out of the bush and darted off stealthily towards another hiding spot... if by "stealthily", one meant that he ran at full speed in full view of any onlookers, trench coat flaring back behind him dramatically.

"Dang bush weirdos," the old man muttered in annoyance, before turning back to feeding the pigeons. As he did so, he didn't notice as several short figures snuck past him behind the bench, a small hand carefully lifting his wallet from his back pocket before the figures ran off with it.

As this was happening, GIR was whacking his head against a tree, shaking it while a squirrel clung to a branch above with a desperate expression of terror.

"Now, play nice, little bumgorf," Starfire said, approaching only to blink as the tree collapsed to the side. Attracting the attention of other park goers.

"Um... the tree must have been quite rotten... no?" Starfire asked with a nervous smile.

There was a moment of silence as the onlookers considered that, and then they all shrugged.

"Yeah, that makes sense."

"That thing did look pretty old."

"Dang government, not taking care of the trees!"

With those mutters, the park goers went back to enjoying their day, talking to themselves and not paying Starfire and GIR anymore attention, making the alien girl sigh in relief.

"I'm beginning to believe being sneaky and keeping a cover as a normal human teenage worm-baby will not be as easy as I thought at first," Starfire said with a frown to herself, while using some of Zim's own words, causing her to think about the Irken. What was he up to? Was he doing alright... and... was he at all sorry?

However, she quickly shook her head to chase those thoughts off. She was trying to have a nice day without worrying about her standing with the Irken, and she had been succeeding, so there was no reason to be thinking about him now!

"Come, little bumgorf, let's find somewhere else to..." she started to say, only to blink as she saw that GIR had somehow vanished when she wasn't looking.

"Little bumgorf! Little bumgorf, where did you go?!" Starfire called out worriedly as she quickly looked around the park trying to find GIR... unaware that a new large figure had arrived with a dark scowl.

"Now then..." Mammoth cracked his knuckles, looking around, "Who's the girl and dog that ruined my snack time?" he asked with a scowl... before realizing he probably should have questioned that guy more about the girl and dog before going to the park.

"Urg... great, now how am I going to figure this out?" he wondered with a sigh, before shrugging, "Eh... I'll just trash everyone... bound to get the right one anyway."

With that settled on, Mammoth walked over to a nearby bench and grabbed it, easily ripping it out of the concrete base it was bolted into. He then turned and tossed it though the air in a random direction that he happened to see a group of people in.

SMASH

Where it embedded itself into a tree, causing many startled yelps from the people it had just avoided hitting.

"There goes another tree," a man muttered, shaking his head.

"I swear, the city needs to do more to upkeep the park," a woman remarked with a huff, with Mammoth giving a confused blink at this before scowling as he yelled.

"Hey! Bigfoot standing right here! Trashing your park!" he exclaimed in annoyance, "This is the part where you all run and scream, you morons!"

"Not now, young man, can't you see we're complaining about the park's maintenance?" an older woman stated.

"Yeah, maybe stop doing steroids and bodybuilding, and focus on civic concerns, like we're doing!" a man commented, causing Mammoth to stare in disbelief.

"Seriously? When that big-headed kid caught me using his family's belt sander, he freaked out. But I actually threaten these people, and they don't care?" he grumbled in annoyance.

What, did he have to go streaking in the words like great-uncle Joe or cause some avalanches in the Himalayas like cousin Abominable to get some attention?! He asked himself incredulously, before scowling.

"Guess I just got to try harder," he said, walking over to a water fountain and ripping it off from the ground with a grunt before lobbing it as hard as he could.

WHACK

It rammed into the guy who had accused him of using steroids and sent him flying off into the distance, which definitely got the attention of the crowd.

"AHHHH! Run! It's a teenage delinquent!" the old lady screamed, before everyone ran off in a panic, while Mammoth blinked, before shrugging.

"Eh, good enough," he said, smirking as he started chasing people. Which of course didn't go unnoticed by certain other people in the park.

"It's a mutant gorilla! Cocofang must be trying to cause more chaos with an ape uprising in an attempt to silence me!" Bill realized, while leaning against a tree with a scowl.

"Well, that's not happening on my watch!" he declared, holding up a laser gun with one hand, and a banana with the other, "I'll simply distract him with the banana, and then vaporize him!"

That very poor strategy in mind, Bill ran after Mammoth. Meanwhile, on the other side of the park, Starfire looked up from the bushes she was searching through for GIR, and blinked as she saw what was happening.

"Is this normal?" she asked, very confused. What she saw of the dog park on the television made it seem more peaceful.

"I must have more to learn of the Earth customs," she realized out loud, frowning while rubbing her chin, before blinking as she noticed a couple of small children approaching a knocked out man and digging through his pocket, "Excuse me, little ones, but have you seen a dog of the green fur?"

The children, apparently surprised by Starfire's voice, jumped and looked to her in panic, which she frowned at.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to-" she started to say, only for one of the kids to throw a rock at her head, "Ow!"

"Witness! Run away!" the kid yelled to his friends, the whole group quickly running off.

"That is most rude!" Starfire called, and before she realized the need to keep her cover, she floated up and zoomed after the group, easily catching up to the one that threw the rock and picking him up by the back of his worn and torn shirt.

"Ah! Let me go!" the kid yelled, thrashing in Starfire's grip and apparently so panicked that he didn't notice that she was hovering in midair.

"Why did you throw a rock at me?" she demanded with a glare.

"Urg... because Sewer King says no witnesses!" the kid yelled with a slight fearful expression at the glowing green eyes glaring at him.

"Sewer King? Who is this Sewer King?" Starfire demanded, the kid going pale as he realized what he'd just said.

"Ah, ah... nobody! He's nobody! There is no Sewer King!" he said quickly, sweating nervously. However, Starfire just scowled at him, not believing him.

"I believe you are the lying, and there is a king of the sewer," she said with a frown, wondering if this Sewer King was a powerful leader among the humans... but she hadn't heard Zim mention him, or seen any mention of him on the programming of the television she'd been watching for Earth research. Hmm, perhaps he was some secret ruler? If so, she should learn more about him, if only to have enough information to work with while living on this planet.

"I... I..." the boy stammered, looking very scared, "Please... I can't tell you... he'll hurt me."

 At that, the glow faded from Starfire's eyes as her expression became concerned.

"Why?" she asked, frowning and feeling concerned at the fear in the youngling's eyes.

 "Because... because there are rules," the boy said with a gulp, "We obey Sewer King, we do what he says, and we don't expose him. If we follow the rules, we get food and shelter. If we don't... he hurts us to teach the others a lesson."

"...Where do I find him?" Starfire demanded, feeling righteous fury building up in her, "I believe he and I need to be having the words."

The child paled, knowing that he couldn't tell the scary lady where Sewer King was... he was already going to be in enough trouble for telling her all this.

"I... ah..." he stuttered, but before Starfire could push him for more-

BOOM

-a large tree landed next to them, causing her to jerk back in shock, letting the boy go by consequence. Not hesitating or even pausing to see what was happening, the boy jumped to his feet and ran away, hoping that Sewer King wouldn't find out what he had done.

For her part, Starfire turned to see where the tree had come from, and saw Mammoth standing nearby. And then giving a blink in recognition.

"Excuse me... but are you not the Big of the Feet that appeared on the show of mysteries?" she questioned, floating over to Mammoth, causing him to freeze while holding up a little old lady.

"Finally! It's all just been hoodlum this, or delinquent that... it's like no one recognize a proper Sasquatch anymore," Mammoth grumbled under his breath with a scowl... that only got worse when the old lady hit him in the face with her purse.

"Release me at once, you ruffian!"

 "See what I mean?!" Mammoth growled, turning to glare at the woman, "Lady, I am a freakin' Bigfoot! Not just some street thug!"

"Then don't act like one!" the woman replied, hitting him in the face with her purse again.

"Alright, that tears it!" Mammoth yelled, tossing the woman high into the air, not caring where she'd come down.

 "I am new around here... but I don't believe that is a proper way to treat the elders of your species," Starfire said with a scowl as she moved to catch the old lady.

 "Technically not my species. And also, I don't care," Mammoth said with a shrug as Starfire set the old lady on her feet, the woman immediately running off, "All I care about is finding the girl and her dog who ate all the ice cream before I could get any!"

 "Ice cream?" Starfire gave Mammoth a confused look, "I know of where you can find ice cream... though it was rather messy when GIR and I left it," she said with an innocent smile, at first not realizing Mammoth was in fact referring to her and GIR.

"Oh yeah?" Mammoth asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously, "And would this "GIR" be a dog by any chance?"

"Yes, actually," Starfire blinked, barely remembering to confirm that instead of revealing that GIR was a robot, "Why do you ask?"

"YOU!" Mammoth snarled, making Starfire jump in surprise, "You're the one who ate all my ice cream!"

 "I did?" Starfire asked with a confused expression, before her eyes widened as Mammoth launched a punch at her, causing her to dodge to the right while floating in the air, "Can we not talk peacefully about this?"

She asked with a frown; she was of a warrior race, but that didn't mean she wasn't open to peaceful solutions.

"Unless you got a truckload's worth of ice cream, forget it!" Mammoth snapped, not even caring to think about how this girl was flying, all he cared about was squashing her!

 "I do not, but perhaps I can buy you at least some?" Starfire offered, while dodging Mammoth's blows.

"Not good enough!" Mammoth snapped, "So, I'm gonna take it out of your hide! And your little dog's too! You hear me, you little-! Urk!"

Mammoth's rant was cut off as Starfire suddenly caught one of his fists in her hand, glaring at him.

"You will not threaten that adorable little bumgorf!" she snarled, eyes glowing dangerously.

 Mammoth's eyes widened in shock, before snarling out, "I'll threaten whoever I want!" He yelled, lashing out with his other fist that was also caught, but before he could make another move, Starfire kicked him right in the chin, sending him stumbling back before lobbing a star-bolt right at his stomach!

 "UGH!" he yelled as the attack connected, sending him stumbling backwards, "Argh, how'd you do that?!"

"You do not need to know that," Starfire said coldly, glowing eyes narrowed, "Simply know that it will happen again if you do not leave, right now."

 "Grr, you think I'm scared of some orange freak?!" Mammoth snapped with a scowl, "I'm a Sasquatch! We're the baddest, toughest guys around!" he said, stomping forward, "I'm..." he paused as something was thrown at his face, causing him and Starfire to blink and look down at... a banana tied to a string?

"What?" Mammoth said with a blink.

"Come on... monkey want banana... big yummy banana..." before he and Starfire turned to see the other hand of the string being held by a man crouching by a tree... obviously hiding a blaster in his other hand.

"What?" Mammoth repeated flatly.

"Come on, you mutant gorilla... you love bananas, don't you?" Bill said encouragingly, seeing his plan was obviously working. He had the gorilla's attention, and just in time, since he was about to attack the overly-tanned girl... who was floating?

 "...Huh, must be the radiation from all those trips to the tanning salon," Bill muttered to himself, only to have the banana suddenly tossed back in his face.

"I don't know what your deal is, jerk, but scram! I'm busy here!" Mammoth snapped, while Bill wiped the smushed banana off of his face.

"Hey, what gives? Everyone knows mutant gorillas love bananas!" he yelled in protest, getting a deadpan look in response.

"I am not a gorilla, I'm a Sasquatch!" Mammoth roared, getting very annoyed by how no one was picking up on that.

"Nonsense, everyone knows that all Sasquatches are blonde," Bill scoffed in return.

 "I... what?" Mammoth paused, actually giving the man a confused look, "The only blonde Sasquatch is my cousin Darlene, and that's only because she dyes her hair!" he called back with a frown, wondering where the heck this moron got his info.

 "Don't try and confound me, minion of Cocofang!" Bill yelled, confusing Mammoth even more.

"The cereal mascot?" he asked with a blink.

"Aha! So you admit to serving him!" Bill declared triumphantly.

"I don't even know what you're talking about anymore!" Mammoth shouted, waving his arms around in frustration.

"...I am most confused," Starfire admitted, looking between the two in bemusement.

 "Stay back, citizen! I will handle Cocofang's pet mutant gorilla, while you retreat to safety!" Bill called out to her, prompting a blink.

"I'M NOT A GORILLA!" Mammoth roared, charging toward Bill with an angry expression, deciding to break this guy's spine and then deal with the ice cream ruiner.

 "Bring it, monkey boy!" Bill declared, bringing up his blaster and opening fire. The energy bolt shot out and hit Mammoth's chest dead on... and did absolutely nothing to slow him down, just scorching his shirt slightly.

"...Uh-oh," was all Bill managed to say, before Mammoth rammed into him.

SMASH

POW

CRACK

"AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!"

 With Starfire from her position wincing and closing her eyes from the vicious beat down. A part of her wondering if she should step in... or take the chance to leave, before sighing.

"GIR must be located... along with this Sewer King," she muttered with a scowl as she turned to fly off. After all, the strange man had chosen to interfere in the battle; if he was not prepared for the consequences, then it was his own fault... yes?

 "MY SPINE!"

"BE GLAD I'M LETTING IT STAY IN YOUR BODY, JERK!"

...Yes, surely he would be fine, Starfire thought with a forced smile as she flew away, forcing herself to focus on finding GIR.

Who, speaking off, was skipping along while humming to himself, before blinking as he spotted some kids leaving the park... or rather, his eyes honed in on what they were carrying.

"Piggy~" GIR said with a wide smile, spotting a stuffed animal fashioned after a pig held by one child, frowning as they looked to the others worriedly.

"We didn't get much... Sewer King's going to be upset," she said.

"It... it'll be okay. We didn't get caught, that's rule number one," the boy who Starfire had interrogated stammered, choosing not to mention that encounter.

"Right, the important thing is that we keep this secret, he can't be too mad as long as we do that," another kid commented, sounding like they were trying to convince themselves of that as much as the others.

"I hope so... it's either that or... feeding time," spoke the little girl holding her stuffed piggy close as they all gave a shared shiver and pale looks.

"Come on," the boy that had gotten away from Starfire said with a lick of his lips, "We're expected back soon."

The whole group winced at that, but nonetheless reluctantly made their way towards a nearby manhole cover. After looking around to make sure no one was watching them, they pried it open and crawled down into the sewers below, before the last one in pulled the lid back in place behind them.

Unnoticed by any of them, GIR had seen all of this. Not concerned with what the kids were talking about, his focus was entirely on the pig plushy that had just disappeared with them.

"Piggy!" he yelled, running over and yanking the manhole lid off before tossing it aside and jumping down. With Starfire arriving just in time to see this with widened eyes.

"Little bumgorf, wait!" Before following after the disguised robot, with her own venture into the sewers, flying down, being seen by a scowling Mammoth, who had just finished beating that weirdo who called him a gorilla.

"Hey, we ain't done yet!" he yelled, chasing after her. Reaching the open manhole, he jumped down into it... and blinked as he got stuck halfway down, being too large and muscular to go further than his waist.

"Oh, come on," he muttered, before he began flexing, the asphalt cracking around him for several minutes before he finally broke it apart, allowing him to drop down all the way.

Following that, the form of Bill crawled out of the park.

"Urg... well this confirms... mutant gorillas... are even more dangerous... than normal ones," Bill said with a groan, lifting up his head before giving a frown at seeing the hole leading to the sewers, "Too dangerous to leave running loose until Cocofang collects his pet... if the vampire menace even bothers."

He muttered, as it would be just like that monster to let a mutant gorilla loose, just to watch it rip innocent people in half for a laugh while exploiting the chaos and confusion.

Not on his watch!

"We're not done here yet, ape!" he yelled dramatically, before diving into the sewer as well.

 (Later, deeper in the sewers)

"Urg... where are they... please be okay," a girl with black spiky hair wearing goggles, swimming trunks, and dark blue shirt paced back and forth barefoot in front of a boat parked right in the waters of the sewer, waiting for the others to get back from their scavenging... only they were late!

 "This isn't good," she muttered to herself as she paced, "If we're too late, Sewer King will be furious!"

She said with a shiver, not wanting to have any of the other kids face the man's wrath... she'd done her best to step up and act as a leader to them, serving as a sort of unofficial second in command to Sewer King... but that only went so far. She couldn't protect them if anyone disappointed him...

At the thought of his wrath and pets, she heard something and saw the arrival of the latecomers.

"Where were you?!" she demanded worriedly.

 "Sorry, it was crazy up there," the girl holding the stuffed pig said, "Some crazy guy dressed like an ape was running around wrecking everything, and then some super-tan lady saw us stealing and chased us."

"What?" the lead girl asked, torn between confusion and worry.

"Hey, it's okay, we got away, and she definitely didn't manage to interrogate any of us into telling her anything!" the boy Starfire had interrogated into telling her everything quickly stated, sweating nervously.

 "Steve..." The girl that had been waiting for them gave the boy a stern look, "What did you do?" she asked worriedly.

"What, me? Hehehe, nothing!" the boy said with a too wide nervous smile, 'You worry too much, SP~" He said with a force life, "I mean, you know I'd tell our Sewer Princess if something was wrong.."

"Don't call me that!" the girl hissed worriedly, looking around fearfully, "You know I've told you all not to call me that! We have no idea how he'd react!"

 "R-right, sorry Ellie," Steve said nervously, "But seriously, there's nothing to worry about! I didn't tell that girl anything! So, we can head back, with nothing worse than... er, well, the usual."

Ellie's eyes narrowed at that, before she gave a sigh and shook her head.

"Whatever. Just get on the boat so that we can get out of here. Cindy, Marcus, Zackie, all of you on the boat... we need to move," Ellie said to them with a stern look.

 The group all nodded, and quickly got onto the boat. Once they all were, Ellie climbed in as well and started rowing them down the river of sewage, soon vanishing into the darkness.

A few moments later, GIR wandered into the area, looking around curiously for the piggy he'd seen. Reaching the spot where the boat had been, he looked around, activating all his sensors, and picking up the group's heat signatures in the distance.

"I'm coming, piggy!" he yelled, hopping into the foul water with a splash and quickly swimming after the boat.

 "Bumgorf... bumgorf... GIR, where are you?" With Starfire arriving moments after him, giving off a disgusted expression, "Urg... this smells worse than a Zorbnoak's pits..." she said with a cough. Covering her mouth and nose, she looked around, desperate to find GIR and get him out of here. She didn't see him anywhere, but then she heard a splashing from further down the tunnel that immediately caught her attention.

Hoping that this was the wayward robot, Starfire immediately took off in the direction of the sound. And just a couple minutes later after she departed for the sound...

SPLASH

"URGG COME ON!" One steadily growing angrier Bigfoot arrived and ended up slipping into the sewer water.

"I swear, that bitch is making this more annoying for me on purpose!" Mammoth said with a grimace as the smell of the sewage briefly overwhelmed his advanced sense of smell before he managed to push it aside. Instead, he tried to focus on the girl's weird scent that he'd picked up back in the part, and despite the stink down here, managed to pick it up again from further down the tunnel.

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this~" he growled, running down the tunnel, trying not to think about how he was waist-deep in filth as he went. In fact, he was so focused on that, he didn't notice Bill creeping out of the darkness behind him, eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses (which somehow didn't impede his vision in the darkness) as he glared at Mammoth's retreating back.

"Hmm, he seems oddly comfortable in the sewers," Bill mused to himself, completely ignoring how much Mammoth clearly did NOT enjoy being down here, "Could this be Cocofang's secret lair, at long last? Is he perhaps even working with the mole men?"

His mind raced at the possibilities; did his undead nemesis' ambition and reach know no end?!

"If he thinks he can take me by surprise with an attack from below, he's in for a nasty surprise," Bill muttered as he pulled out a steak... like a literal meat steak, "Let's see how he likes one hundred percent beef steak!"

He said with a smirk; after all, it was a vampire's true weakness, that nonsense with the wooden stick thing was just Hollywood propaganda that Cocofang had his puppets in the media feed the masses, so people would be less prepared against his undead bloodsucking horde.

But not Bill! He knew the truth, and that was why he would ultimately prove victorious in this never-ending war when it finally did in fact end!

"Alright then, let's go," Bill said with a determined look on his face, making his way down the tunnel after his prey (while sticking to the narrow edge lining it, so he didn't have to actually get in the water).

As the one following another trend played out in the sewers, deeper in the massive underground waterways and tunnels that existed under Doomville, a man sat on an old ruined chair like one would a king.

"Where is my tribute?!" Demanded a figure that looked like a knockoff Captain Hook, only with an eye patch instead of hook hand.

"I... I'm sorry, Sewer King. I'm sure that the others will be back soon!" a young boy stammered, he and a large group of other children nervously looking at the seated man... and more importantly at the alligators seated at his feet.

"Hmph, they better be," the Sewer King sneered, shaking his head, "Honestly, I take you brats in, I give you shelter, I share my food with you, and all I ask for is a little payment in return, and you can't even do that right!"

 The children all flinched at his anger.

"I have half a mind to feed you all to my pets!" he yelled, making them all pale in fear at the threat. But fortunately, before he could act on it, another voice called out.

"Wait, wait, wait! We're back!" Ellie yelled as her group ran into the room.

"It's about time! Where were you?" the Sewer King demanded, glaring at the latecomers.

 Ellie flinched, "We wanted to try to find something special for you," she stammered nervously.

"Yeah, special..." Steve added with a fearful look at the alligators that let out low growls as Cindy, Marcus, and Zackie shivered behind them.

"Oh, special you say?" Sewer King said with a mocking tone, "And where is this special gift for your gracious leader, that makes up for making me wait?!" He said, at first calmly before yelling out angrily.

And as if summoned by the universe, another yell filled the air.

"PIGGY!"

 Which made everyone blink in surprise and confusion.

"What the-?" Steve started to say, before a green blur shot out of the darkness of the tunnel behind them and slammed into Cindy, making the girl yelp as she was knocked on her back.

"Gimme piggy!" GIR demanded, grabbing the plush in the girl's arms.

"Hey! You can't just take Mr. Porky!" Called out Cindy upset from the ground, scowling with a hurt expression as everyone watched stunned.

"Is... is that a talking dog?" Asked Sewer King with a slow blink.

"Piggy's my best friend!" Cheered GIR, hugging the piggy plush close.

"Huh... looks like you did bring me something special after all," Sewer King muttered with a tilt of his head, rubbing his chin, "A talking mutant dog... that could be worth something."

"...Exactly! That's why we brought it to you!" Ellie said quickly with a forced smile.

"We did?" Steve blinked, only to grunt as Ellie elbowed him in the stomach, "Ugh! I mean, yeah, we definitely brought it here on purpose for you!"

 "Well, good job," Sewer King said with a grunt as he stood up from his "throne", "I suppose you've earned a small bit of extra rations," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out... a half-eaten candy bar, "Here... don't say I don't ever give you brats anything."

He said with a low growl, throwing the bar toward Ellie.

"Gee... thanks," she said in a low tone, sighing and knowing that Sewer King had a lot more food that was scavenged than this... but that was for him alone to enjoy as leader. And if she questioned or called him out on it... well, he'd do worse than just take the extra snack back from her.

Though part of her wondered under her fear if there was anyone else beside her and the other sewer kids who understood this position.

(Elsewhere in the universe)

"Hey! I wasn't done with those donuts!" Purple cried out, seeing a drone reaching for a box of donuts he'd dropped on the ground, "Throw him out of the airlock!" Purple called out, with two guards grabbing and dragging the pleading drone to his doom.

"You ever think we're being too cruel sometimes?" Red questioned with a sip of his soda, with the two Tallest trading looks before bursting out in laughter.

(Back on Earth)

"Now then... let's see what I can do with you~" Sewer King chuckled ominously to himself as he loomed over GIR, who cocked his head and looked up at him curiously.

"You smell really bad!" he said cheerfully, making all the children reel back in horror at the audacity, while Sewer King blinked before scowling.

"I suppose talking doesn't equal respect..." Sewer King said with a low growl, before reaching down and roughly grabbing GIR, "But not to worry, just like Sewer King's subjects, you'll learn respect. Oh yes~"

He said with a vicious grin, "Because those that don't learn," he glanced over his shoulder, where one of the gators opened its mouth, with a torn shirt being seen on a tooth before the jaws snapped closed, "Don't stay around long enough to regret it~"

 However, if he was trying to intimidate GIR, it didn't work.

"Hi, Mr. Gator! Wanna play with me and Piggy?" he asked, waving the pig plush at the gator, which for its part actually seemed confused by the response.

For his part, Sewer King scowled at the lack of a fearful reaction. But before he could say anything else, another voice called out from the darkness of the tunnel.

 "You will release that sweet innocent bumgorf or you will face a beating most painful!" Was the threat that echoed, with the Sewer King twisting around, seeing what appeared to be a pair of glowing green eyes shining in the darkness.

"Who dares intrude upon the realm of the Sewer King?!" he demanded angrily.

"I do the daring," spoke out the form that emerged... that of an overly-tanned teenager wearing glasses with her hair in a ponytail? Sewer King arched a brow before snorting.

"Well, I don't know how you found my underground kingdom... but you shall take your knowledge to the grave!" he declared, making clear from the get-go that he wasn't interested in learning who the girl was or playing nice, he merely wanted an intruder removed.

 At his command, two of his alligators rapidly crawled towards Starfire, who arched an eyebrow at them. Then they lunged forward at her, all of the onlooking children wincing and looking away to avoid seeing her get mauled... only for no screams to be heard.

"What?!"

Instead, it was Sewer King's outraged yell that brought the children's attention back to the sight before them, at which point their jaws dropped, seeing that Starfire had caught both alligators by their throats, holding them both in the air one-handed.

 "Hmm, your pets are adorable... but not much of a threat," Starfire said with a hum, overlooking the Earth creatures in her grip, "They honestly look tastier than anything~" she admitted with a smile.

The alligators seemed to start thrashing even harder in panic at that, while Sewer King sputtered in outrage.

"How dare you...?" he snarled.

"Oh, do not worry, I would not do so," Starfire replied with an unpleasantly-wide smile, "In fact, here, please have them back~"

"What-?"

WHACK

And then Starfire threw the alligators at Sewer King, the large animals slamming into him and sending him flying backwards into his "throne", while GIR was dropped to the ground, and all the children looked on in disbelief at what was happening.

 "I must admit, for a King... you are not very impressive," Starfire remarked with an arched brow, while looking around with a slight disgusted look, "And this does not seem to be a proper place for younglings, much less a kingdom."

 "Argh! Don't condescend to me, you bitch!" Sewer King snarled as he crawled out from under his alligators and wrecked throne, "I've built a realm down here, with none of the elitist snobs above aware of it! And I've given these brats a home, and a purpose serving me!"

"It seems to me that it is more accurate to say that you have enslaved them!" Starfire snapped in outrage, her eyes glowing green; she might be working with an Irken Invader to conquer this planet, but that didn't mean she was no less displeased at younglings being exploited like this!

"Enslave?! I've liberated them!" Sewer King snapped with a glare, "out there they'd be lucky not to end up in some factory or test pig for some new experimental drug!"

 "If you really were acting out of care and empathy for them, you would not treat them like servants to do your dirty work," Starfire scoffed.

"I'm their savior! If anything, their servitude is the LEAST of what they owe me!" Sewer King snarled in rage, "And I will not," Sewer King reached down to the ground, "Be lectured..." he pulled out a long whip, "By an orange brat!" He snarled while lashing with the whip...

SWISH

Only to find Starfire lashing out and grabbing it with her hand, and with a scowl she heaved with all her strength.

 "What?! AAAAHHHHH!!!" Sewer King yelled as he found himself being pulled off his feet and flung through the air. And it didn't stop there, as Starfire started spinning around, taking the whip and its wielder with her.

This went on for several minutes, Sewer King screaming the entire time, until Starfire suddenly stopped and let go of the whip. As a result, Sewer King stopped spinning and went flying in one direction, right towards the nearest wall.

CRACK

Which he hit hard, before bouncing off and hitting the floor again.

"Be doing yourself a favor and stay down," Starfire stated coldly.

 "Urg... brat... cough... you have no idea... who you're messing with..." Sewer King said with a groan... "I'm the Sewer King... this is... my domain..." he said, struggling to push himself up.

 "Then it would appear that you have been dethroned," Starfire said with a glare, before walking over and kicking him in the side, causing him to collapse with a wheeze. Satisfied when she saw that he wouldn't be getting back up after that, she turned and walked over to where GIR had been absently playing with his stolen pig plush the whole time.

"Are you alright, little bumgorf?" she asked him, face and tone softening as she crouched down to his level.

 "I have a piggy!" GIR said with a smile, with Starfire blinking before hearing a sniffle off to the side, seeing Cindy staring at her stuffed pig with longing, but also giving Starfire a look of fear.

"Forgive me GIR, but that is not yours," Starfire said with a sigh, already guessing what happened, "Return it, and we can see about getting your own pig."

 "I don't wanna!" GIR whined.

"GIR..." Starfire said sternly, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"Awww...." GIR pouted, slumping and walking over to Cindy to hand her the plush back.

 "And do not forget to do to the apologizing of sorry," Starfire added with a stern tone.

"I'm sorry," GIR said as Cindy gave a sniffle, hugging Mr. Porky close.

"It's okay..." she said quietly with a small tentative smile, "Mr.Porky is lovable."

She said with a small laugh, before looking warily up at the orange girl, "Um... are you in charge now?" she asked questionably.

"In charge?" Starfire repeated with a confused blink.

"Well, yeah. Sewer King was in charge because he was the strongest, and you just beat him," Ellie pointed out. At that Starfire gave the prone form of the King of the Sewer a frown.

"Forgive me, but why do you follow him in the first place?" she asked as all the gathered children exchanged looks.

"Life's hard on the streets, and even worse a nightmare you might not survive in the system," Ellie said with a brief shiver, remembering the orphanage, so cold and loveless.

"Serving Sewer King is harsh... but it comes with security," she explained, though with a tinge of doubt leaking out of her voice. After all, telling herself that all this time had been what had helped her get through all of this. But... what if there had been other options?

"Surely, it cannot be that bad out there," Starfire asked.

"I hear that the government press-gangs orphans into the army as cannon fodder," Steve said with a shudder.

"I saw someone ask for another bowel or soup one time at the orphanage... they took him into a backroom and he came out with a scar on his head and just stared off into space silently the rest of the time I was there," Cindy added with her own shiver.

"I... see..." Starfire said slowly, as she processed just how this planet treated its younglings. She was starting to think that maybe Zim taking over wouldn't be the worst thing. After all, could he really treat the young humans any worse than they already were?

However, before she could address being unable to take the mantle of leadership, a new arrival showed up.

"YOU! I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU AND YOUR DOG TO PIECES!"

Starfire turned around, and saw that Mammoth had come charging into the room, covered in sewage and looking incredibly angry.

"You again?" she asked with an annoyed sigh, "Have you not had enough for one day?"

"You stole my ice cream, embarrassed me at the park, and forced me to follow in sewage," Mammoth said with an angry growl, "What do you think?" He demanded with a twitching brow.

"Umm... what's with the talking angry gorilla?" And Ellie's confused question did not help his current mood one bit.

"I. Am not. A gorilla!" he snarled, punching a hand into the wall and yanking a chunk of concrete out, which he promptly threw at Ellie, who screamed.

BLAM

Only for Starfire to blast it to rubble, before placing herself between Mammoth and the children, glaring at him.

"You shall not harm these young ones!" Starfire declared with a dangerous glare, her hands lit up with energy, "Leave now...or I will kick your butt most viciously."

"Oh, is that right?" Mammoth sneered, "Well, fine. I don't care about these brats, you're the one I'm gonna smash!"

"Very well then," Starfire replied, hovering in the air and taking a stance, preparing to fight-

"Die, vampire bootlicker!"

-And then Bill suddenly came running up behind Mammoth and smacked him with the steak he was holding.

"Did... did you just hit me with a steak?" Mammoth questioned in a deadpan tone, not even in the mood to question why the weirdo from before was here... or calling him a vampire bootlicker.

"Yes I did... and there's more where that came from!" Bill called out threateningly as Mammoth looked at him disbelief.

"I just beat you senseless not even an hour ago... and you're threatening me with a steak? What's that suppsoe to accomplish?!" The Bigfoot said, shaking his head in exasperated frustration, "Scare me away like some kind of sissy vegan?"

"It's supposed to strike fear into the hearts of you, your vampire master, and your mole men allies!" Bill declared, gesturing to the nearby children, who all stared at him in utter confusion.

"Mole men?" Mammoth repeated flatly.

"Yes, the ones over there, badly disguised as a bunch of ugly orphan children," Bill commented, eliciting annoyed shouts from the children.

 "Hey, who you calling ugly, you jerk!" Steve called with a rude gesture with his hand.

"Yeah, you crazy, what we'd do to you?" Marcus added with a frown.

"How the heck do we look like moles?" Ellie questioned in disbelief.

"Sniff... I'm not ugly... right Mr. Porky?" Asked Cindy with watery eyes.

 "I do not believe you should be insulting them like that," Starfire said with a frown.

"No need for a perfectly normal girl like you to waste your time being kind towards these little monsters, young lady," Bill scoffed in reply.

"Seriously? You think she's normal? She's orange and floating!" Mammoth protested.

"Clearly, they're obvious side effects of suntanning too long," Bill dismissed with a frown, "People should really be careful with those machines, they can make you sick from overuse from what I heard," He muttered giving a frown, "Wouldn't surprise me if that was another plot of Cocofang's, trying to turn people against the ultraviolet rays from the sun... the fiend."

...

...

...

There was dead silence in the room for several moments as everyone just stared at Bill, no one knowing how to process his nonsense.

"Were you dropped on your head as a baby?" Mammoth finally asked flatly.

"Why does everyone keep bringing that up?" Bill asked with a genuine confused expression, "Every time I see the family on Thanksgiving, mother always complains how that one babysitter ruined me... honestly, it's not like everybody wasn't dropped at one point or another as babies."

 "Um... actually, I do not believe that is the case," Starfire stated, looking a little disturbed by the statement.

"Regardless! The point is, I'm here to defend Earth from unholy monstrosities like this lot!" Bill declared, waving his steak around in what was clearly meant to be a threatening manner, "So, who wants some next?"

There was another moment of silence, then Mammoth turned to Starfire with a deadpan look.

"Mind if I beat him up, at least?" he asked.

"Normally I would be opposed to such a thing... but he is threatening these children, so by all means, go ahead," she replied with a nod.

 "Great," Mammoth said, cracking his knuckles, "But after I turn this weirdo's spine into my new backscratcher, you're next," he said with a dark smirk as he approached Bill. Who for his part paled slightly as it finally seemed to register with him what was happening.

"Stay back!" he ordered, waving the steak in Mammoth's direction, who just snorted at him, "I mean it! I'm warning you! I also have barbecue sauce, and I know that gorillas can't stand that!"

"Still not a gorilla, and the only person in my family who doesn't like barbecue is my Uncle Louis, and that's because he's got a sensitive stomach," Mammoth replied casually as he loomed over Bill, "Now, let's see what color your guts are!"

"I warned you!" Bill cried out, pulling out a BBQ sauce bottle and then, squeezing as hard as he could, he sprayed it right into Mammoth's face, causing the Bigfoot to give a startled cry as he went to rub the sauce out of his eyes. Allowing Bill the chance to tuck and roll right between his legs, before twisting around and kicking Mammoth's rear end as hard as he could, causing him to stumble forward into the sewer water.

SPLASH

"OH, COME ON!" Mammoth yelled in annoyance, spitting out the water that had gotten into his mouth, even as he reluctantly used it to wipe the sauce out of his eyes.

"There's more where that came from, gorilla!" Bill crowed, "So, I'd suggest you just give up now and tell me where to find Cocofang!"

"Why are you even asking about a cereal mascot?" Mammoth demanded in disbelief, a part of him regretting the question as he immediately realized it would likely get him another nonsensical rant.

 "Don't play dumb, we both know that cereal is not only used to brainwash the masses, but that your dark master allows his face to be put on the box as not only a way to taunt me and any others aware of the truth, but also lure the ignorant into a false sense of belief he's nothing but an innocent mascot," Bill spat out with a glare, "But I know the truth! I know that menace has been puppeteering and corrupting humanity from the shadows for eons!" He raised a fist and raised it dramatically in the air, "But I swore to myself as a child that I would expose and end his evil, no matter what it took!"

 "Is he serious?" Steve asked incredulously, looking around at everyone to make sure that he wasn't the only one who found this whole thing ridiculous.

"I don't know, but I'm suddenly glad I always preferred Franken-Chokies over Coco-'Splodies," Ellie commented.

 "Oh, don't get me started on Cocofang's loyal undead lap dog, you hideous mole man abomination!" Bill called out, prompting a scowl from Ellie, whose eye was twitching.

"And suddenly I have the desire to actually see someone get eaten by the gators, too," She added with a scowling mutter.

 The other kids nodded at that, while Starfire frowned. She didn't understand most of what this very strange human was saying, but the fact that he kept insulting the children made her quite angry.

"I am most confused at what is happening," she admitted aloud, getting everyone's attention.

"You and me both," Mammoth muttered as he tried to lift himself out of the sewer water.

"But I will not allow you to insult or harm these young ones!" Starfire called out to Bill as she lobbed a star-bolt right at Bill, who barely had time to widen his eyes before getting smacked in the face.

BOOM

With the resulting impact of the energy sending him flying backwards to hit the wall, and then crumple into a heap on the floor.

Brushing her hands off after doing this, Starfire turned to Mammoth with a frown.

"Now, as for you, I do not believe that-" she started to say, only for Bill to suddenly jump up with a yell, lunging at her and swinging wildly with his steak. Caught off guard by this, Starfire wasn't able to dodge or block in time before it hit her; while this didn't hurt her, it did hit hard enough to manage to knock off her glasses and cause her hair to come loose from its ponytail.

"That's what you get for siding with non-human monsters, you...!" Bill started to say only to trail off as he realized what Starfire now looked like, 'You... you're the alien whose presence I discovered!"

Starfire blinked and looked between Bill and her fallen glasses on the ground.

"Um... no I am not?" she said weakly.

"Don't try to trick me! I can see through your admittedly rather brilliant disguise now!" Bill called, picking up and holding the glasses up triumphantly.

"So I'm a gorilla, but somehow a different hairstyle and a pair of glasses equals a brilliantly disguised alien," Mammoth spoke up as he pushed himself up onto dry stone, while grimacing at the sewage leaking down his body, "Am I the only one here who thinks that doesn't make sense?!"

"This whole day doesn't make sense," Ellie muttered, the other kids nodding along, while Bill looked between them and Starfire before his eyes widened behind his glasses.

"Aha! I see it now!" he declared, "Cocofang may have been foolish enough to summon you to Earth in an attempt to distract me, but rather than serve him, you've allied with the mole men to usurp him and take the planet for yourself!"

"I... what?!" Starfire gave a confused dumbfounded blink, trying to process the strange man's theory, "I am sorry, but I do not even know who this Fang of the Coco even is... and I am very sure these children are not men of the mole... whatever those may be."

"Lies! Your tricks will not work on me anymore!" Bill declared in dramatic fashion, "Loathe though I am the idea of aiding my eternal enemy in any way, I shall not let you threaten Earth!" All of a sudden, Starfire was rather reminded of the large-headed Dib as the strange man pulled out a pair of handcuffs.

"Alien sleep cuffs, my own personal design!" Bill declared with a smug grin, "While I focus my efforts toward Cocofang, I've prepared for other possible threats like alien menaces disguised as regular teenage girls!"

He called, smirking and leaving out he even sold it on the side through magazines to better arm the more alert among humanity... and to make a bit of extra cash. No one ever said being a protector of humanity paid the bills, after all.

"She was wearing a pair of glasses with a ponytail!" Mammoth groaned in frustration.

"Quiet monkey! I'll deal with you momentarily," before getting an irritated glare at Bill's words, "For now, time to put an alien down for a nap."

 With that, he gave a high-pitched kung-fu yell and leapt at Starfire, intending to tackle her... only for her easily float out of the way and let him fly past her to crash on the floor behind her. And then, before he could get back up, she turned around and threw a star-bolt at the cuffs, blasting them to pieces.

"Please do not be trying to do that again," she said with a sigh, "This is getting most aggravating."

"I'll never give up!" Bill declared as he scrambled to his feet, "I shall pursue you to the ends of the Earth and beyond! I shall not rest until I defeat you, and Cocofang, and the lizard men in Congress, and the leprechauns who control the banks, and the-!"

SMASH

And then he was cut off as Mammoth slammed a large piece of concrete onto his head, the concrete bursting into pieces while Bill fell to the floor again, this time finally unconscious. Leaving stunned silence in the sewers before Starfire sighed.

"Thank you," she said, with Mammoth grunting.

"Just wanted the crazy moron to shut up... more annoying than that smug bitch Nessie," he muttered, remembering that family trip to Scotland and how that overgrown lizard acted all superior, like she was some big celebrity and his family were just party entertainers by comparison.

"Urg... part of me still wants to kick you and your dog's butts... another part just wants to take a hot shower," he then added with a sigh, glaring at Starfire.

 "Then, shall we call it the even and all go on our separate ways?" Starfire offered with a forced smile, not in the mood to fight more, but willing to do so if necessary.

Mammoth scowled at her, but grunted.

"Fine... but if I see you again, I'm not letting you off that easy!" he said with a glare, before turning and stomping off, disappearing into the darkness.

 "Well... that was kinda anticlimactic," Ellie commented with a blink, honestly having expected more fighting after how this day had gone, while Starfire sighed again.

"Now, I believe there is the deciding of what to do with you and the King of the... Sewer..." she trailed off as she turned her head, seeing no sign of the Sewer King, only GIR having a tea party with two very confused-looking alligators.

"Huh? Where'd he go?!" Steve exclaimed, he and the other kids looking around in panic.

"GIR, where did the nasty man go?" Starfire asked worriedly.

"He went bye-bye, but now I gots new friends!" GIR replied happily, shoving a cupcake into the mouth of one of the alligators, who blinked slowly before swallowing it.

 "Oh man, Sewer King is going to be so upset when he gets back," Marcus said with a grimace.

"Who cares! I say good riddance to that jerk," Steve snapped.

 "Yeah, Steve's right," Ellie nodded, surprising the others, "He said he was taking care of us, but he was just using us! And I know we're all sick of it, so why should we keep putting up with it, when we just got shown how he's not as tough as he pretended to be?"

"Yeah, he was only scary because he had these gators around," Zackie said, with all the surrounding sewer children murmuring in thought and agreement.

"But... he's mean and scary... he'll punish us when he gets back," Cindy said, hugging Mr. Porky close.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Ellie said with a determined expression, prompting looks, "If the orange flying girl isn't interested in assuming command, then I'd like to officially nominate myself the new Sewer Queen!"

 "Wait, really?" Marcus asked.

"Yes, really," Ellie said with a firm nod, walking over to pick up the Sewer King's dropped whip, "And let me say it right now, I'm not going to be like the Sewer King. I'm only going to be using this thing to defend us, from him coming back or anyone else who tries to hurt us. And I'll be sharing everything with everyone, not just keeping it all to myself like he did!"

"Sounds great to me! I second the nomination!" Steve added happily.

 At that, the Sewer Children let out excited cheers, "All hail the Sewer Queen!"

While Starfire blinked dumbly, "Even with the nasty man gone, are you younglings truly sure you wish to stay here?" She asked with an expression of concern.

 "You heard what we said about our other options, right?" Ellie pointed out, "Living down here isn't great, but we'll still take it over any of that."

Starfire frowned, but seeing that all the children agreed, she sighed and nodded.

"If that is truly what you desire, I will not try to convince you otherwise," she said, reaching down for her glasses, putting them back on and putting her hair back into a ponytail, "And I suppose with this all settled, GIR and I must be taking our leave."

 "If you must, but know that you and your strange dog always have a place in the sewers," Ellie said, giving Starfire respectful bow of her head, "For we will not forget what you've done or given us this day, strange floating orange girl!"

 "Ah, my name is Starfire... but, you are welcome, I suppose," Starfire replied with a small but gentle smile, deciding to just go with the flow of the situation.

With that, she went and picked up GIR, carrying him as she floated out the room, GIR waving to the children as they went.

"So, what do we do with this freak?" Steve asked, looking at the unconscious Bill once Starfire was out of sight.

"Eh, just drag him to the nearest manhole and toss him onto the street. Honestly, the crazy seems more like a threat to himself than anything, so let him be the surface dwellers' problem," Ellie said with a shrug, walking toward Sewer King's "throne" with a thoughtful look and taking a seat, "Besides, we've got bigger things to focus on."

 "We do?" Cindy asked with a confused blink.

"That's right, I think it's time we turned into a proper civilization!" Ellie proclaimed with a wide eager grin, "I'm talking houses, piers, boats, fishing equipment, water slides, blackjack, the whole nine yards!"

 "Blackjack?" Marcus repeated, also looking confused.

"Sure! We need to do something for entertainment around here!" Ellie declared, "So, once we get the crazy guy out of here, we can start organizing our resources, and put them to work on building things up!"

"Sounds like a plan to me..." Steve said before frowning, "But, eh..." he jabbed a thumb toward the gators, still sitting at the makeshift tea party table GIR had set up, "What do we do about the gators?"

"Hmm... eh, I say might as well keep them around for security," Ellie decided, giving a shrug, "Worst comes to worst and Sewer King shows up, we'll see how he likes being the one fed to the gators~" she said with an ominous tone as all the sewer children smiled with vindictive glee, a part of them hoping he would return just to see that.

Speaking of the fallen "ruler"...

"I swear, first chance I get... I'll turn that orange brat into leftover sewage!" Declared Sewer King as he made his way through the deeper, darker, and not to mention more dangerous and abandoned sections of Doomville's vast sewage system. The man currently holding his side while another hand was pressed against a tunnel wall as he muttered dark threats under his breath.

He couldn't believe this. His whole underground empire, which he'd spent so long building up, was all gone, just like that! And all because of some do-gooder overly-tanned teenager!

But, he wasn't done yet. There were plenty of other homeless brats out there, just waiting to fall under his guiding hand. He'd build an even bigger army of followers, then go back and reclaim what was his! And then, he'd hunt that orange bitch down, and make her suffer for what she'd done!

Though as he stewed in his fantasies of comeback and comeuppance, he didn't notice the stream of the sewage water to his left behind him bubbling as a large shadowy form rose from the waters, and a pair of reptilian eyes looked upon his back with malicious hunger.

"I'll make her pay, and those disloyal brats too," Sewer King grumbled to himself, "They'll all be reminded of their place, and remember that they all serve the Sewer King!"

He gave a dark laugh at that, only to freeze as a voice suddenly hissed behind him.

"Sewer King, huh?" it rasped in his ear, "Sorry, but there's only one king of these sewers~"

At that that Sewer King stiffened, before whirling around, his eyes widening in horror as the form lunged at him.

"AAAAAAAAARRRGGGG!!!" And the sewer tunnels rang with a loud piercing scream...

(Later up top)

"Well... that was a most interesting outing of the day, wouldn't you agree little bumgorft?" Starfire asked GIR as they emerged out of a manhole back into the street above.

"Let's go again!" GIR cheered, making Starfire sweatdrop.

"Um, maybe later," she said compromisingly, "I believe for now, we should try to do some relaxing," She said before sighing, "It has been the long day."

 Not to say it had been all bad, as she had the most enjoyable times with GIR today. But everything that happened with the large one that may or may not be a gorilla, the very strange man in glasses (and apparently Zim was indeed onto something with her disguise), and most of all that deplorable King of the Sewers, it had all been most draining.

Especially that last one. By X'hal, if that disgusting human had not escaped, she likely would have killed him herself!

Though as that thought came to her, Starfire paused. Should she really be thinking like that? After all, the King of Sewers had been defeated already, it would not have honorable to strike him down at that point. But still, he seemed most despicable. A part of her couldn't help but think that if Zim had been there, he likely would have been able to give him a most fitting punishment.

And that was definitely something that she couldn't help but consider. Because if Zim did do something awful to the King of Sewers... well, frankly, Starfire wouldn't be upset about it. But, didn't that make her a hypocrite, given how she'd reacted to what he'd done to Keef? After all, how could she criticize his cruel actions at one point, and then state her approval for them at another?

"Earth is most complicated... things were much simpler back home," Starfire said, sighing as she took a seat on the sidewalk while GIR gave her a curious look, "I wish to stay true to my honor and Zims method's are... different than what I'm used to."

She admitted, struggling to find the right way to phrase it, "But do I truly have any right to judge him? After all, he was raised in a completely different culture from my own. And he is a dedicated solider following his mission, so I should not be surprised that he would be willing to do whatever it takes to succeed."

Sighing again, Starfire leaned back against a lamppost and frowned in thought. Maybe... maybe she had been too quick to condemn Zim for his actions?

Admittedly, the whole ripping out and replacing of the eyeballs had been unsettling even for a Tamaranean warrior like herself... but if part of Starfire was willing to feed Sewer King to his own pets, was she any better? And like it or not, Zim had saved her, she had a debt to pay, and if helping him conquer Earth was the way to do it... and if this planet was so cruel to their own young... perhaps she should keep a more open mind.

She didn't have much more than secondhand knowledge about Irkens, aside from her interactions with Zim, just stories. And maybe those were blown out of proportion - she didn't approve of conquest, but even from her limited time on Earth, she was starting to think that the humans wouldn't be much worse off with the Irkens in charge.

"You okay, pretty lady?" GIR asked, walking over to sit next to Starfire, who smiled and patted his head.

"Yes, little bumgorft, I am," she said, "I just think that I need to talk to Zim. A real talk this time, not an argument."

"Ahhh, you gonna kiss him!" GIR said with an eager grin, while Starfire gave a blink.

"I'm beginning to think I should learn the significance behind the kissing," she muttered with a frown, before shaking her head, "No I wish to do the clearing of the air and make peace."

She said, before adding with a sigh, "And perhaps admit the defeat in our bet..." as she certainly hadn't found anything about Earth that Zim himself might enjoy.

Oh well, might as well head back to the base, she decided, standing up and starting to walk away. As she did, GIR started to follow her, only to pause as he noticed something across the street.

"Ooh, what's that?" he asked, Starfire blinking and turning to see what had caught the robot's attention.

"I believe... I might be winning the bet after all," Starfire said after a moment, her eye gleaming with interest.

While a couple streets away, a form was thrown out of a sewer hole.

"And stay out, you crazy jerk!" Steve called out, before grabbing and sliding the lid back on as the prone form of Bill suddenly gave a groan.

 "Ugh... what?" he muttered groggily, looking around in confusion as he tried to remember where he was. He'd been chasing that mutant gorilla underground... the mole men... the alien!

"You can't get rid of me that easily-! Ack!" Bill declared, trying to jump to his feet, only to woozily collapse again, "Ugh... but then again, maybe I can call it a draw for today, and come back when I'm better prepared."

Yes, that's what he would do. He'd been caught off guard by the alien's presence, but now he knew she was here and working to undermine Cocofang with the aid of his own minions, he could plan for how to deal with her.

 "Enjoy your victory while it lasts, alien menace... because like Cocofang, you shall be brought down and exposed as the menace you are," Bill vowed with a raised fist, before wincing in pain, "But for now... I believe I need to pay a visit to my personal medical kit..." he said with a groan as he started to drag himself off.

 He couldn't trust hospitals, after all. They were all controlled by elves who were on Cocofang's payroll to hide all evidence of his foul actions, he reminded himself as he staggered down the street in the direction of his house.

 (Zims base)

Later on, back in Zim's base, Starfire and GIR were sitting watching the Angry Monkey Show... well, GIR was watching, while Starfire was looking through an apparent small brochure in her hand, before raising her head as the door was suddenly kicked open.

SLAM

And there stood Zim, with a dark scowl and twitching eye

 "Oh, welcome home!" Starfire greeted cheerfully, before pausing as she noticed Zim's mood, "Um... did your efforts to stop the zor'duni not go well?"

"No, Zim managed to destroy Dib-Monkey's evidence, BY MYSELF!" Zim grunted, emphasizing the last part with a glare that made Starfire wince, "But then, before I could completely eliminate him as a threat, he somehow managed to turn the tables, and then... well, Zim doesn't want to talk about it, but it is an indignity that Zim shall make the worm-baby pay for!"

 The Irken said with a disgusted expression, while giving off a brief shiver, with Starfire herself giving him a concerned look.

"If it helps, GIR and I had a most... interesting day ourselves," she offered with a frown.

 "Unless it ended with you crawling out of a sewer, Zim doesn't want to hear it!" Zim snapped.

"...Actually, it did," she commented with a blink.

"Eh? Really?" Zim asked, looking confused for a moment, before shaking it off, "Never mind, you can tell Zim some other time. Right now, Zim just wants to clean up and then relax."

 "Hmm, very well, but after you are finished with the cleaning..." Starfire held up a brochure with a small smile, "I believe I have found something that will settle the bet, and that will help put you in a better mood."

 Zim paused at that, eyeing Starfire and the brochure carefully.

"Tch, Zim sincerely doubts that, but he will humor you just to settle things," he huffed, turning and walking toward the nearest elevator shaft down to the lab so that he could clean up.

"So, think you'll win the bet?" the Computer asked, speaking up, causing Starfire to look up with a frown, "I do not know... but I am confident this will at least interest Zim," she said with a smile before giving a sigh, "And perhaps... help us reach the understanding."

"I wouldn't hold my breath for that if I were you, but good luck," the Computer said, genuinely curious how this would turn out.

A half-hour later, Zim reemerged from the labs, cleaned up and looking like he was in a slightly better mood.

"Okay then, show Zim what you think you've found that might actually catch my interest," he said as he walked over to the couch. In response, Starfire handed him the brochure, which he narrowed an eye at.

"Laser tag?" Zim read with a blink, looking at the picture on it, "The Earth-monkeys disintegrate each other with lasers as sport?"

"That is what I thought as well, but apparently these are non-lethal lasers... although there is some fine print in here about the facility not being responsible for bodily damage, so it may not be entirely harmless," Starfire explained, grimacing at that part before shrugging it off, "If anything, it sounds like a training simulator of some sort."

"Hmm... well, Zim will admit that that doesn't sound like a total waste of time, though he doubts any human simulator could possible match up to what we had at the Academy," Zim scoffed.

"Perhaps not, but it could still be most enjoyable," Starfire said with an eager grin, "Unless..." she arched a brow, "An Irken Invader like you doesn't think he can handle it?"

Zim stiffened at that.

"Or face me in laser tag combat~" Starfire added with a smirk, while internally channeling her sister a bit; she herself had fallen for a tactic like this a time or two when they were younglings.

It honestly felt a little cheap, but it was for a good cause. She felt that she and Zim needed an outlet for the frustrations from their argument if they were going to clear the air, and this seemed like the best way to do it, so she had to talk I'm into it.

"Bah! Obviously, Zim could beat you in this simulated battle, or anyone else for that matter!" Zim declared arrogantly.

"Then, shall we go and give it a try?" Starfire asked.

"Of course! And Zim will display his dominance before you and all the Earth-monkeys!" The Irken declared with a smug grin, "After all, how challenging could this be?" He asked rhetorically with a snort.

(The next day)

BOOM

"WHY DO THEY HAVE A GIANT ROBOTIC REPTILE SHOOTING LASERS FROM ITS EYES?!" Zim screamed, ducking for cover as a mech T-Rex roared overhead.

 "I do not know, but I am finding it most enjoyable!" Starfire declared happily, also taking cover behind a concrete slab next to Zim. Both of them were wearing combat armor-style attire and holding laser rifles, as were the several other customers in attendance today, most of whom had already been eliminated but with some still active and hiding from the robot, which had just been dropped into the room.

"Why was there no mention of this thing in the brochure?!" Zim exclaimed, peering at the T-Rex mech as it stomped around the room, watching as one human player tried to run away, only for it to zap him before he got far.

"Hmm, perhaps they did not wish to spoil the surprise," Starfire suggested, before giving him a teasing smirk, "But surely this is not too much for the great Zim to handle?"

 "Eh? Uh, no, of course not!" Zim said with a blink, before his eyes widened and he quickly covered up any shock or fear, not that he felt any such emotion, he was Zim!

"I was, ehh, just concerned my General might find this, uh... too much," Zim said with a cough.

 "Not at all! This reminds me of the training that I underwent in my youth!" Starfire replied cheerfully, before cocking her head in thought, "Hmm, though now that I think about it, we used live animals instead of robots. But still, it's the same in principle."

"Really?" Zim asked, thinking back to his own training back on Irk. They'd occasionally used live creatures, like Digestors, for combat practice, but most of the time it had been robots even more vicious than this one.

Obviously, Zim had beaten them all, because he was Zim! And that was why he'd beat this human-made monstrosity too!

At that, Zim's expression turned firm and determined, "Come, my General! Let us show this robotic reptile its DOOM!" He exclaimed, running out of the cover and opening fire with a crazed cackle

Grinning in excitement, Starfire moved to follow him, joining in on firing at the metal T-Rex.

For its part, the robot just seemed annoyed by the attacks as they bounced off of it. Roaring, it turned to face them and fired from its eyes, the alien pair having to jump out of the way to avoid being hit.

"The eyes! Target the eyes so that it can't attack us!" Zim realized and ordered, before following his own advice and shooting at the robot's eyes.

"Understood! But watch out for its tail!" Starfire called out while opening fire on the eyes, causing the machine to let out a roar before it twisted around and swung its tail toward them.

However, while Starfire jumped back, Zim merely laughed as he launched himself forward and clung onto the tail, while still raising his blaster to fire at the back of the robot's head, causing it to roar angrily, while trying to swing Zim off.

"Hahahahaha, it will take more than a robotic reptile's tail to bring down Zim!" The Irken declared, before calling out to Starfire, "Now, while it's distracted! DOOM THIS INFERIOR PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY! DOOM IT IN THE NAME OF ZIMMMMM!"

"With pleasure!" Starfire declared, jumping up in the air, and hovering there just long enough to avoid being noticed by the remaining humans in the room so that she would have a better attack angle. She took careful aim, and then pulled her trigger, sending laser beams right at the T-Rex's eyes.

BOOM

Which promptly exploded as Starfire fell back to the floor, and the mech roared in digital pain.

"YES! Victory for ZIM!" The Irken cried as he moved to climb and then run up the tail and back of the robot T-Rex, and after aiming he leapt up and fired at the neck of the machine.

BOOM

Causing its head to be blown off as its main body collapsed to the side.

"Hahahahahahaha!" Zim laughed as he fell from the air, with Starfire quickly moving to catch him in her arms, "INFERIOR METAL REPTILE! YOU WERE NO MATCH FOR ZIM!"

Proclaimed the Irken with a wide grin, "Give Zim a real challenge!"

 In response, several large robot gorillas dropped out of the ceiling to surround the two, eyes glowing with prepared lasers.

"Hmm, do you think this qualifies as the better challenge?" Starfire asked with a smirk of anticipation.

"Only one way to find out~" Zim cackled.

 At that, a montage of action, carnage, and well, fun, was had.

Scene of Starfire and Zim charging toward the robot gorillas.

Scene of one gorilla grabbing and shaking Zim as Starfire's eyes widened, before she charged forward with a battle cry.

Scene of Zim point-blank blasting a gorilla's face as Starfire beat another with its own robot arm.

Scene of Starfire swinging a gorilla around by its legs, while Zim grabbed another's head as it tried to fire at her and redirecting the blast at a third gorilla.

Scene of Zim and Starfire dodging out of the way of a hail of laser blasts that instead hit the few remaining human players, frying them all.

Scene of Zim knocking a gorilla's feet out from under it with his PAK legs, before Starfire swept in to crush it with a slab of concrete.

Scene of Starfire and Zim standing victorious over a pile of broken robot gorillas.

Scene of Zim yelping in shock as he's yank up to the ceiling, with Starfire looking up to see robotic spiders coming down and Zim being tied to a web, before she flew up to rescue him.

Scene of Zim and Starfire back to back and blasting at the horde of robot spiders.

Scene of Zim standing atop a spider and stabbing into its head with his PAK legs, while Starfire kicked another one's head clean off its body.

 Scene of Zim using some of the fabricated web as a harness on one robot spider to make it into a makeshift steed for him and Starfire to charge toward the robo spider horde as they opened fire, shooting laser venom.

 Scene of Zim and Starfire standing triumphantly atop a pile of destroyed robo spiders, only for a giant robotic snake to burst out of the floor and loom over them, red eyes glowing dangerously.

 Scene of the snake wrapping its coils around the two, squeezing tight.

Scene of the snake lunging to snap with its jaws, just as Starfire and Zim got their blaster-holding arms free and opened fire at the mouth.

 Scene of the snake's head exploding as the lasers burst through it, dropping its captives to the floor below.

On and on it went, Zim and Starfire finding themselves going up against an increasingly bizarre array of robotic foes, and dominating them all! And before long, they left the laser tag building laughing together.

"Hahahaha, did you see those inferior robotics cower before ZIM!" the Irken exclaimed with raised fists.

"Yes, you were most terrifying~" Starfire said with a smile, finding herself happy to see Zim himself in a joyous mood, while also finding to herself she had quite enjoyed participating in the laser of the tag with him. It had brought back many happy memories of her youth, fighting in the training yards of home with her sister... she sighed at the reminder of how far from home she was. But, she had to stay on Earth, it was the only way to repay her debt; thankfully, she was pretty sure that now she and Zim would be able to work together much more comfortably.

Though, speaking of that...

"So, did you enjoy yourself?" she asked, smirking.

"Yes, I did," Zim said happily, not picking up on what Starfire was implying, only to freeze at her next words.

"In that case, I believe that I have won the bet~" she stated. At that, Zim froze mid-step.

"Ah! Let's not get too crazy, Zim didn't..." he started to protest, but Starfire merely cut him off with a smile.

"Now, now, the bet was if I found something about Earth you'd enjoy, you'd have to wear the outfit of my choosing, and you enjoyed the tag of the lasers," Starfire said with a slight smug grin, "So I am victorious, and I already have the perfect outfit selected~" she added with an excited clap, causing Zim to groan.

 He knew logically that he didn't have to comply with the bet, because he was Zim and Zim didn't have to do anything that he didn't want to. And yet... he realized that refusing to honor the bet might sour Starfire on him, just when they were starting to get along again. And for some reason, that thought bothered him more than admitting that he'd lost.

"Ugh, fine," he muttered, "Let's just get back to base and get this over with."

 And for some reason, Starfire's eager smile made him feel very strange, "Glorious, this will be most amusing!"

 "Yay..." Zim muttered as they resumed walking down the street back towards the base.

(The next day, onboard the Massive)

"Do we have to call Zim back so soon?" Purple moaned, "Once a month feels like more than enough!"

"Normally, I'd agree, but these aren't normal circumstances," Red said, "We should have asked if Zim got ahold of any of the Gordanians' tech. It's obviously inferior to ours, but it can still be useful to us. Plus, it occurred to me we didn't ask what happened to the crew of the ship, and while just grunts, since they served directly under that blowhard lizard, they might have potential valuable intel," he added with a frown, while Purple let out a groan.

"Urgg, fine, but still..." Purple frowned, "I don't like it!" He said with a childish huff, crossing his arms as Red rolled his eyes, "I mean, it starts with a genuine "good job Zim"..." Purple gained a disgusted expression at the words as Red grimaced, "Then regular monthly progress reports, and then next thing you know, WHAM!"

Purple threw his arms out, accidentally whacking Red in the face, "Ow!" But Purple ignored this as he called out, "We're reinstating Zim as an actual official Invader!"

 "Calm down, that's not happening!" Red snapped at his co-ruler, "The stars will all freeze over before I let that Defective ever become an official Invader again! But, considering he's somehow stumbled his way into something serious that he's actually managing to handle professionally, we need to treat it seriously."

"Well, I still don't like it!" Purple pouted.

"Duly noted," Red said dryly, before turning to the nearby bridge officers, "Call up Zim's base, so we can get this over with."

"Yes, my Tallest," one of the officers said with a bow, before activating the communications equipment and contacting Zim's base on Earth.

 "I mean honestly, can any good come from these calls," Purple groaned, with Red sending him an annoyed glare, but the call was answered before he could tell Purple to at least try to bear through this.

"Uh, um... greetings, my Tallest! What a, uh... delightful surprise."

Only for both of them along with the bridge crew of the Massive to be stunned at the sight that awaited them.

"Pffffft HEHEHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

With the silence broken by Purple bursting out into laughter and falling to the ground.

 The reason for this was that Zim was on the screen... wearing a puffy pink dress, complete with a big ribbon tied around the waist, flushing and fidgeting as Purple laughed and everyone else stared at him.

"I... what... Zim, what are you wearing?" Red sputtered in disbelief.

"Uh, well, Zim is just... practicing other ways to infiltrate the humans!" Zim said quickly.

"Also, he lost a bet to Starfire," the Computer chimed in smugly.

"Zim didn't lose! The Irken snapped offscreen, "Zim, uh... simply let his General enjoy a small victory to help build up her confidence," he said with a cough.

"Right..." Red said slowly, while Purple continued laughing on the floor, "Well, good luck with... all of that... we just needed to check-in with a few follow-up questions about the Gordanians."

"Eh? Oh, um, yes, whatever you need to know, my Tallest," Zim said, standing up straighter and trying to look more professional despite the dress he was wearing.

"Right, um... coff..." Red's expression was uncomfortable, "Starting off, do you happen to know the status of Trogaar's crew? Such as if there were any survivors?" The Tallest asked, trying to ignore Purple rolling on the floor laughing, "Or scavenge any of Trogaar's ship's technology for that matter?"

He added as Zim tilted an antenna, "Eh, the lizards? They've already gone pathetically native, my Tallest."

"Come again?" Red asked, blinking in confusion.

"Yes, they've actually all gotten jobs among the humans, who are too stupid to see through their pitiful disguises," Zim scoffed, not realizing that statement applied to him too, "They are not even trying to take over, they're just living mundane lives!"

"Seriously?" Red questioned with a blink, frowning, "You sure they aren't just trying to blend in until they can find a way to contact the Citadel or scavenge enough technology that will help them leave the planet?"

He questioned, taking Zim's words with a grain of salt, since this was Zim he was talking to, after all.

"Hmm, Zim supposes that's a possibility," Zim mused, scratching his chin in thought before shrugging, "But if they do so, Zim will simply crush them, like a shlorbog crushes the bones of their prey, as punishment for daring to try and take a planet claimed by the Irken Empire!"

"Riiiight... loving the enthusiasm, Zim," Red said slowly with a blink, before shaking his head.

"Thank you, my Tallest!" Zim said with a smile, "As for technology, Zim hadn't seen any need since anything the Gordanians have is no match for the technology produced by the Irken Empire."

"Uh-huh," Red gave a flat frown, "Look Zim, I agree with the inferior conclusion, but the technology could still be potentially useful to us."

Red said, looking at Zim, "So try to scavenge what you can, and also try to see if any of those Gordanians have any information of use to the Empire as well, while you're at it," He ordered, before glancing down, "And Purple, would you stop laughing already?!"

"B-but he looks ridiculous!" Purple replied through his laughter, which made Zim squirm as he was reminded of his situation. Before he could say anything or Red could reprimand his co-ruler some more, however, another familiar voice spoke up.

"Zim, I have the snacks!" Starfire said as she entered the room was in and appeared on screen, the sight of her instantly stopping Purple's laughter as he and Red stared with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

The reason for this, and for Zim's sudden renewed blush, was that she was once again wearing the black bat-themed outfit that she'd tried on while trying to find an Earth disguise. The very tight black outfit, which hugged every mouth-watering curve of her body~

"Oh hello, my apologies, I was not aware you were taking the call," Starfire said with a blink and innocent smile.

"Uhh, that's okay, you remember the Tallest, my Tallest, you remember Zim's loyal General," Zim said quickly, barely managing to tear his gaze away from Starfire's form to look to the Tallest, feeling his face burning.

"Um, yeah, we do," Red managed, while Purple was just openly staring at the Tamaranean at this point, "Uh... why are YOU dressed like that if you won this bet?"

"Hmm? Oh, I did not want Zim to have the sore feelings, so I decided to wear an outfit of his choice, and he seemed to really like this one," Starfire replied, gesturing to her tight outfit and seemingly oblivious to just how much of an effect it was having on everyone.

"Uhh, yes... I'm sure he did," Red said with a cough, giving Zim a look as the Invader gave a nervous smile.

 "Er, well, it does make her look... mighty," Zim said with a cough, glancing at Starfire before looking away with a blush.

"That's one word for it," Purple muttered, openly leering at Starfire before Red elbowed him.

 "But, eh, how is the whole "working for Zim" thing going for you, anyway?" Purple covered with a cough, actually surprised the girl hadn't snapped and tried to kill the crazy annoyance yet.

 "Oh, it is going most well!" Starfire replied happily, before pausing and adding with a grimace, "Admittedly, we have had some... slight disagreements, but I think we are working past that!"

 "Right...and making bets and wearing these outfits are part of working past disagreements?" Purple question with an arched brow.

 "Yes, exactly," Starfire said with a nod, not seeming to see anything odd about the setup.

Red and Purple exchanged looks at that and shrugged, not sure how else to handle it.

"Well... okay, good for you," Red said, shaking his head, "Anyway, just keep an eye on the Gordanians, and grab any of their technology that you can find lying around, understood?"

 "Understood my Tallest!" Zim said with a eager saluted, "And not to worry, with Zim's faithful General, we'll have Earth ready for the Armada's arrival before any of the other Invaders complete their own assignments."

 "I'm sure you will," Red said dryly, "But, we'll just... let you get back to it, I guess."

"And try not to get your pretty dress dirty~" Purple added teasingly, laughing at Zim's resulting blush before the transmission ended and the screen went to black.

 "I believe they liked your outfit," that got worse at Starfire's giggle, but his annoyed glare faded as she held out the snack plate, causing him to sigh.

"Well... however ridiculous the outfit... Zim looks glorious in it!" he called out, preening a bit, causing Starfire to giggle some more.

 "Indeed you do~" Starfire said happily as Zim helped himself to the snacks. She knew from what she'd seen of Earth that typically only human females wore such clothes, but she had hoped that Zim could take it in good humor, and was glad to see that he was doing so, and perhaps that it would help further ease tensions between them.

 And seeing him becoming more relaxed now... she believed it was time.

"Zim..." The Irken blinked.

"Eh?" he questioned with a stuffed mouth.

"I believe... we need to have the talk," Starfire said with a frown.

 "Talk? Talk about what?" Zim asked, looking confused.

"About your... methods, and my reaction to them," Starfire said, causing Zim to grimace.

"Ah... that," he muttered, shaking his head and scowling, "What about it?"

"I... wish to do the apologizing..." Starfire admitted with a sigh, prompting a blink, "I am... still uncomfortable with what you did."

She added, glancing away, "But on my outing with GIR... I realized perhaps I shouldn't judge you too harshly... you are only doing what you've been trained for in protecting your mission."

"Well... yes, that's right. Zim would only act as an Invader is supposed to," Zim said, puffing up slightly at that, "Just like how even though Zim doesn't like how you view fighting as something that should be limited by an honor code, he knows that it is simply how you were trained as well."

"Um, yes, exactly," Starfire said, not liking how Zim dismissed her honor code but understanding why he would.

"I believe that if we're to be working together, we must work to accept each other's methods and differences, and keep the open mind," Starfire offered.

"Hmm... Zim supposes he can see the wisdom in that," Zim muttered. Normally, he wouldn't accept anyone under his service not automatically accepting his way of doing things and following his orders... but, for some reason, the idea of trying to force Starfire along with things without her being okay with it made him uncomfortable. So, the fact that she was willing to make some sort of compromise was exciting enough that he was actually willing to do so himself for once.

"Just as long you stand ready to aid Zim in his mission and to vanquish his enemies!" Zim declared with a raised fist, "Well, Zim's enemies outside the Dib-Stink, as Zim believes that should be settled personally."

Zim said with a dark scowl, his mind going back to the most recent humiliation... "Though you will be of course free to hurt him and use his oversized cranium as a human sports ball when the time is right to reveal Zim's mighty General!"

 Starfire giggled at that. While she didn't have anything personal against the zor'duni, he was quite annoying, so she wouldn't quite mind getting to give him a smack or two.

"Well, if we have an understanding, shall we then enjoy the eating of snacks?" she asked, gesturing to the loaded plate she'd brought in.

"Yes, today we shall snack and enjoy ourselves," Zim said with an eager smirk, "And tomorrow, we begin your infiltration of the Earth-monkeys! For tomorrow, you attend HIVE and learn the brainwashing secrets it hides!"

"Hmm, oh yes, I have been most looking forward to this!" Starfire said happily, "I am most excited to actually interact with the humans of my age range on a social basis!"

"Yes, yes, but do not forget your mission!" Zim reminded, "You must learn how the Blood-Human manages to bend the worm-babies to his will, so that Zim can do the same!"

"Do not be the worrying; while I'm new to infiltration, I'm sure I can be the handling of it," Starfire said to Zim with a confident expression. Though a part of her was wary at Zim brainwashing others, she was determined to live up to her word and be more openminded to his methods.

"Zim is pleased to hear that," Zim said with a smirk, "Zim has even taken the liberty of preparing your uniform as well."

 "Uniform?" Starfire repeated in confusion.

"Yes, the HIVE's website stated that students are required to wear uniforms as part of some sort of dress code," Zim shrugged, "So, Zim has prepared one for you that will help you perfectly blend in!"

 "Um... if you are saying so... the disguise you chose seemed to work, so I will be trusting your judgement," Starfire said with an unsure expression, "Though would this uniform be one of the outfits from before?"

 "Uh..." Zim stammered at that, blushing brightly as his mind flashed back to those other outfits. Oh, he'd love to see her in any of them again... but, he had to reluctantly admit, they probably weren't the best choices for going undercover, so he shook his head and cleared his throat before responding.

"No, it will not be any of those, but it will be a perfectly impressive military uniform, that will surely match any so-called dress code that the pig-smellies will require you to keep to," he declared.

 "And once you've lured the pig-smellies into a false sense of security, we shall strike! Take all their brainwashing secrets, and use them to perform Zim's own washing!" The Irken declared, before cackling madly.

 "Um... yes, most glorious!" Starfire said with forced cheer.

Just go with the flow, she told herself. No need for unnecessary conflict, and maybe Zim being able to brainwash people would be better than more violent options he might go for?

 Who knows, she might, if not enjoy helping Zim conquer Earth, then at least make him more openminded to a different approach on things. And if the young ones in the sewers are any example, perhaps conquering Earth would help change things for the better. After all, he couldn't make things that much worse... right? She thought as she forced herself to join in on the laughs of the maniacal... huh... and it was actually rather fun, no wonder Zim did it so much.

"Hahahahahahahaha!" they both laughed, not seeing GIR peaking his head in with a smile.

"Awww, they're bonding~" he cheered with a happy go-lucky smile.

Chapter Text

Who knows, she might, if not enjoy helping Zim conquer Earth, then at least make him more openminded to a different approach on things. And if the young ones in the sewers are any example, perhaps conquering Earth would help change things for the better. After all, he couldn't make things that much worse... right? She thought as she forced herself to join in on the laughs of the maniacal... huh... and it was actually rather fun, no wonder Zim did it so much.

"Hahahahahahahaha!" they both laughed, not seeing GIR peaking his head in with a smile.

"Awww, they're bonding~" he cheered with a happy go-lucky smile.

 (Next Day)

In front of the prestigious building known as HIVE Academy, the Voot Cruiser - once again cleverly "disguised" as an Earth vehicle with the use of camouflage (aka once again having several pictures of tires taped to its sides) - came to a stop right at the front entrance.

"Now, the Computer arranged your enrollment, you have your uniform, and GIR apparently packed you a lunch. Any questions, General?"

 "Well, aside from the washing of the brains, what should I be on the lookout for?" Starfire asked from her spot seated next to him, decked out in a full military uniform.

"Hmm, Zim supposes that there might be other human secrets worth uncovering. But the brainwashing is the priority! If we learn whatever this Brother Blood uses to tame and control the pig-smellies, Zim can refine it with Irken technology and force them all to bow to Zim!" He exclaimed with a wide grin, currently in his Earth disguise as Starfire looked through the lunch bag GIR had made.

"Glorious!"

And her excited cheer caused Zim to smile.

"Zim is glad to see that you're excited for Earth conquest," He said, causing Starfire to blink.

"Um, yes... I am... but I'm also happy that GIR made the sandwich of the mustard like I requested."

 Zim blinked at that, and turned to see Starfire holding up a sandwich, which appeared to be mostly just a large amount of mustard squeezed between pieces of bread, with some pieces of tomato and lettuce stuck inside.

"Er... right," he said, not sure how to respond to that. Shaking his head, he said, "Well, in any case, you should get going before the Earth-Monkeys get suspicious."

 "Of course, I wish you a wonderful day at your own educational facility, Zim," Starfire said, with Zim huffing.

"Yes, a day of listening to that rather disturbing Bitters human drone about doom while enduring the Dib-Monkey's presence," He said with a scowl, before giving a smirk, "But it is worth it for the mission!" He said with a faux modest tone, "Plus, Zim has his own assignment to pursue today," the Irken gave a menacing grin, "The Tallest want a Gordanian interrogated for enemy intel, and Zim shall not fail them! That fool of a janitor shall spill his chunks like a Shloogorgh customer who ate the Tarxian special!"

Zim declared dramatically... but also gave a disgusted shiver, remembering how Sizz-Lorr had made Zim clean up that mess with a toothbrush! Zim's toothbrush!

 "Ah... okay?" Starfire blinked, confused by Zim's statement and reaction, but choosing to not comment on it. Instead, she put her sandwich back in its bag and stepped out of the Voot. Once on the sidewalk outside, she turned and gave Zim a salute, which he returned before firing up the engines and flying off.

Once he was gone, Starfire relaxed slightly, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

"Alright. Let us begin," she said to herself, turning and walking into the building.

 And as she did so, within the building's walls in a prestigious-looking office, a meeting was being had.

"As you see, gentlemen, my methods in education are truly proving to have secured results," said a shadowy silhouette with red eyes glowing as he addressed a group of floating screens, "Why, look at Mr. Rancid here - a former prime example of a criminal hooligan, but now a model student and citizen."

The silhouette said, gesturing toward a grey-skinned teenager with black hair, wearing a pristine school uniform with a glazed look in his eyes and a creepy stretched smile.

 "I'm happy to be obedient, Headmaster," the young man said in a monotone voice, smile not breaking.

"Impressive work, Blood," the voice of one of the onlookers stated, "But, how can we be sure that this isn't an outlier?"

"Just give me more time to prove it," Blood replied smugly, "My school is currently full of the worst teenaged scum in the city, and every day they are all slowly having their troublesome free wills worn down until they are nothing but obedient tools, the way they are meant to be."

 "Hmm, very well Blood, we here at the Department of Education will give you a chance," Another of the floating screens said.

"However, rest assured, if you disappoint us, there will be consequences," Another chimed in with a warning undertone of threat.

 "Of course, I understand perfectly," Blood said with a bowed head, which helped him hide the roll his eyes. Honestly, the pompous arrogance of these overpaid bureaucrats never ceased to equal parts impress and annoy him.

Oh, the things he'd do to them when the day came to raise the army of those that he'd been putting under HIS control...

After all, the school was but a small step; through the children, he'd control their parents, steadily insert agents though key positions of society, and when the time was right, he'd strike! Then, he'd climb his way to the top of this stinking cesspit that civilization had let itself turn into, and seize control over it! He'd reshape this world into something new, as he saw fit, and everyone else would fall in line or be crushed under his boot! And there wasn't a thing or person who would stand his way! He thought, his eyes glowing red with menace and ambition as he smirked, already picturing his future as Earth's ruler, unaware that part of the competition was currently making her way through the school halls.

(HIVE School Halls)

"Hmm, now I believe my locker should be around here somewhere," Starfire said with a frown, looking at the paper in her hand, "Though I do feel like everyone is staring..." she added as it felt like everyone's gazes were on her... were they seeing through the human disguise? She wondered, adjusting her glasses slightly before turning her head at a voice addressing her.

"I think they're staring at your wardrobe."

 The speaker was a teenage girl about Starfire's own age, with long blonde hair, wearing what Starfire realized was the same odd clothing that everyone else here seemed to be wearing, a dark jacket over a white button-up shirt and skirt the same color as the jacket, with a tie around her neck.

"What is wrong with what I am wearing?" Starfire asked, looking down at herself. She was wearing her armor, which Zim had made a few modifications to. And not just the Irkens' imperial symbol that he'd splashed all over it either. Apparently, it had some new systems and features to enhance its combat capability, among other things. But while she was still ignorant to said features, Starfire thought she could figure them out later as she focused her attention on the blonde girl, who arched a brow.

"Are you serious?" The blonde gave a snort, "You look like you're dressed for some geeky sci-fi convention."

 Starfire frowned, because while she didn't quite understand what that meant, she still knew an insult when she heard one.

"Could you perhaps tell me what it is you are trying to say without the insults and sarcasm?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

 "Aww, did I hurt your poor little feelings?" the girl asked with a baby-like tone and mocking smile, "Well, too bad, because this Kitten has claws~" she added with a laugh, smirking wide, "And unless you want to feel them, I suggest you learn quick who calls the shots around here."

She said, while poking at Starfire's chest. Only to yelp as Starfire's hand snapped up to grab hers by the wrist.

"Do not be doing that," she said icily, glaring at the suddenly nervous blonde.

 The girl looked worried for a moment, before glaring at Starfire, "I'm the Queen Bee of this school I can do whatever I want!'

 "Hmph, you hardly act like royalty," Starfire scoffed, shoving the girl back and letting go of her, before giving her a curious look, "Also, are you a feline or an insect? You are being most unclear."

"What?" the blonde blinked in confusion at that, before scowling, "Are you some kinda weirdo or something? My name is Kitten, and Queen Bee means that I'm the top student here! Who doesn't know that?"

 "Hmm, I see, Queen Bee is a title. I suppose it fits with the school calling itself the HIVE," Starfire said thoughtfully, a part of her wondering if the Headmaster of the Blood was fond of insectoids.

While Kitten just gave her a befuddled expression, wondering if this weirdo was really serious. Sure, she was way too tan and walking around in some geeky cosplay and talking strange, but how out of touch did she have to be to not understand one of the most common expressions around?

"Who even are you?" she demanded, glaring at the weirdo.

 "Oh, I am Starfire," the alien princess introduced with a blink and smile, prompting Kitten to give an even more weirded-out expression.

"Are your parents some kinda hippie weirdos?" Kitten asked with a snort, "Because that has to be the most ridiculous name I've ever heard."

That caused Starfire's smile to be wiped away as she scowled at Kitten again.

"I do not know what this hippie is that you speak of, but I do not like you insulting my name or my parents," she growled.

"Oh, I insult losers and freaks however I want," Kitten said with a huff, internally thinking of her own daddy who she loved, but why did he have to be a bug-obsessed weirdo?

"And if you want to survive long in this school, I suggest you start showing your betters some proper respect, hippie girl," Kitten said, jabbing her in the chest again.

"If you wish not to be harmed most viciously, it'd be best if you be stopping that and be taking back your words," Starfire added with a low growl.

"And you can't even speak English correctly either? Really, the school must be reaching the bottom of the barrel for riffraff like you," Kitten, however, ignored her and kept jabbing Starfire in the chest... and the next thing she knew, she was being picked up whole.

"Hey, put me down, you freak!" Kitten demanded as she was lifted by Starfire overhead as the girl scowled.

"I told you to be stopping that!" Stafire growled, before turning and tossing Kitten down the hall.

"AAAAHHHH!" the blonde screamed, before slamming headfirst into a trashcan.

Everyone else in the hallway froze as they processed this. And then, to Starfire's surprise, many of them started clapping and cheering.

 "Bout time someone put that harpy in her place!"

"Whooo, go new girl!"

"She's so tough!"

"Not to mention hot!"

"Ah... you are welcome?" Starfire said, looking around in confusion at the reaction. Had she just completed some sort of human dominance ritual by defeating the Queen of the Bees? If so, humans might be more like her own people than she thought.

Kitten, meanwhile, managed after a few minutes of struggle to pull herself out of the trashcan, gagging from the smell of the garbage that she'd just been tossed into and glaring at Starfire.

"You are so dead!" she snarled.

"I believe you should quit while you are ahead," Starfire offered with a frown, "As it's clear I have nothing to fear from you."

 "Oh, I'll show you something to fear!" Kitten growled, starting to stomp towards Starfire, only for another voice to chime in and catch everyone's attention.

"You really want to do that, Kitten? It probably won't go well for you~" chuckled a black-skinned girl with her hair pulled up in two puffy balls on the sides of her head.

 "Stay out of this, Beecher! This is between the new loser and me," Kitten snapped, throwing the girl a glare. But the black-skinned girl just look unimpressed.

"I'm just saying it's pretty clear who'd win in a fight, and haven't you embarrassed yourself already?" the girl said with a smug smirk as Kitten glowered, shaking with rage and resentment.

 Oh, she was going to smash both these smug bitches' faces in! And then, she was going to-!

"Oi now, what's going on here?" a British-accented voice spoke up, catching the attention of everyone in the hallway, most of the students tensing up in response as a tall and skinny man with cherry red hair in a mod cut with sideburns, who was wearing a pair of blue shades with a Union Jack mod jacket with a black shirt underneath, white pants, tan Chelsea boots, and a white neckerchief. And was currently twirling a red jewel-tipped cane as he walked down the hall with a frown.

"Ah, Mr. Mod, we were just..." the black-skinned girl started to say, but was cut off by Kitten.

"This crazy girl threw me in the trash!" Kitten snapped, pointing at Starfire as the new arrival arched a brow.

"I thought I smelled something, but I just figured somebody was experimenting with a new cologne," Mod said with a shrug, before leaning on his cane while Kitten gave him an annoyed look, "But what ducky is making all this racket, and why?"

The apparent teacher asked, arching a brow at Starfire, "As I don't recall seeing you around the halls before, love."

"Oh, I am new, this is my first day," Starfire said, straightening up as she sensed that this strange man was an authority figure.

"Yeah, and it'll be your last!" Kitten snapped, making Mod roll his eyes.

"Not your call, love," he pointed out.

"She threw me in the trash!" Kitten repeated with a growl.

"After you provoked her for no reason," the black girl pointed out.

"No reason? Look at her, she's dressed like a freak!" Kitten snapped, gesturing toward Starfire's clothing.

"Hmm, yes, we're going to need to get you a proper school uniform, ducky," Mod added with a nod.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood what the website meant by uniform," Starfire said, suddenly feeling awkward.

"See? Who assumes that?!" Kitten snapped, gesturing to Starfire as if it should have been obvious how weird she was. However, Mod appeared unbothered, simply giving a smile.

"Now, now, Miss Walker, one shouldn't disrespect another person's culture," Mod said, waving his cane in Kitten's face, causing the girl to blink, "If I remember right now, we're expecting a foreign transfer student from, hmm, the islands of Tamaran, yes," Mod added thoughtfully, with Starfire giving a surprised look at the mention of her home planet.

"Uhh... yes," Starfire said, unsure if this was Zim or the Computer's work for her cover backstory. Either way, at least now she could speak of her home without worrying about exposing herself.

"Well, in that case, let me be the first staff member to welcome you to the HIVE!" Mod said happily, "Now, if you'll just follow me to the office, we can get everything sorted out."

"WHAT?!" Kitten exclaimed in shock at this, while the black-skinned girl shot her a smug smirk, "But... but..." Kitten protested as Mod turned.

"Chop, chop now ducky, don't want to dilly-dawdle with class time approaching," the man remarked with a smile, while Starfire blinked and moved to follow him, before pausing as she heard what seemed like a familiar voice yelling, "FOR THE LAST TIME, I TOLD YOU! I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL! I'M A BIGFOOT, DANG IT!"

 To her surprise, Starfire turned and saw Mammoth being dragged down the hallway by two large bulky robots holding onto a next he was trapped in, while a man dressed in a black business suit complete with a grey tie and white undershirt as well as a badge that read "truant officer" pinned to his chest led the way in front of them.

"Sure, punk. That's what they all say," the man grunted.

"How many students do you know who claim to be a Bigfoot?!" Mammoth demanded.

 "Every jock with too much body hair. Honestly, teenagers today haven't heard of shaving..." the man grumbled as he gestured toward the side, causing Mammoth to turn and blink as he saw a large hairy-looking boy in a school uniform.

"Hi, cousin Mammoth!" the boy greeted with a dopey grin and wave.

 "You gotta be kidding me..." Mammoth muttered, before he looked away and happened to see Starfire looking at the whole thing in confusion, "Hey! You, alien girl! Vouch for me here!"

"Alien girl?" Kitten blinked, giving Starfire a look, "You know this weirdo?" she questioned as Mammoth struggled in the net.

"Urg, come on, I helped you with that crazy who kept calling me a gorilla! Help a guy out!" He demanded as Starfire frowned.

"Did you not also try to attack GIR and I over the cream of ice?" she asked.

"Er..." Mammoth sweatdropped at that reminder, "Come on, you're not going to hold a grudge over something like that, are you?"

"Hmm, yes, I think I am," Starfire said with a toothy smile.

"WHAT?! Oooh, when I get out of this, I'm going to give you such a..." Mammoth's threat was cut off by the net he was trapped in suddenly sparking with electrical energy, giving him a nasty shock.

"That's enough of that!" snapped the man in the trench coat, holding up a hook hand, "You're already in enough trouble, and I suggest you start behaving," the hook hand retracted and was replaced by a glowing laser, "Or else!"

"Anyone ever tell you that you need therapy, Shallowgrave?" Mammoth grunted, but stopped resisting.

"Lots of people~" Shallowgrave chuckled, turning and walking back down the hall, the robots carrying him along.

"Is... that normal for educational facilities on this planet?" Starfire questioned with a frown.

"Planet?" Kitten asked, throwing her a frown.

"Um, ah, I mean country. Yes... country," Starfire covered with a cough.

Kitten narrowed her eyes at the weird girl, but before she could speak up to question it, Mod spoke first to answer Starfire's question.

"Given how... troublesome some of our student body can be, we're fully empowered by the Skool Board and Department of Education to do whatever it takes to keep them in line," he explained, "But enough dawdling, ducky, we really must be moving along."

"Ah, of course, my apologies of the sorry, please lead the way," Starfire said, nodding to the apparent professor, "I am most eager to start my first day of the school," she added with a bright smile.

"Heh, keep that attitude up, and you'll be the most popular girl in no time~" the black-skinned girl said while Kitten steamed.

"Thank you, um..." Starfire blinked.

"Name's Karen Beecher, friends call me Bumblebee since I float and sting like one on the basketball court," the girl introduced, raising her hand for a shake, "And welcome to HIVE~"

"Oh, well, thank you for the greeting," Starfire said with a smile, reaching out to shake Karen's hand. Once she was done, she turned and followed after Mod as he walked down the hall, Kitten watching them go with a scowl.

"Ugh, what a freak," she spat, before turning her glare on Karen, "Why were you being so nice to that weirdo?"

"Weird or not, she's still nicer than you," Karen replied with a smirk, "Not that that's too hard, all things considered."

"Grr, I'm warning you Beecher, that freak already crossed a line, and unless you want to go down with her, I suggest you stay out of my way," Kitten threatened with a dark look in her eyes, while Karen rolled her eyes.

"If you ask me, it's high time someone kicked you off your pedestal," she scoffed, "After all, hate to break it to you, just because you're pretty and rich doesn't make you the center of the universe."

"What universe are you living in? Of course that's what it means," Kitten sneered, "And I'm going to show that freak that she messed with the wrong person!"

"Good luck with that," Karen said flatly, before turning and walking off. Not even giving a care to Kitten's glare at her back.

"You'll see, you and that freak... you'll learn who's really in charge around here," Kitten muttered to herself with a dark scowl.

 (Later)

Starfire frowned as she examined her new proper uniform that the school provided. Clearly, humans had a different definition of what the word "uniform" meant than her people or the Irkens, because this was no military clothing. Like the other girls she'd seen, she was now wearing a white button-up shirt under a black jacket and over a matching black skirt and black stockings; the boys wore black pants instead.

It wasn't much like anything she'd worn before, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. But, if it helped her blend in better, she supposed it was for the best.

 "I do wonder what Zim will think of it," she found herself wondering aloud curiously, before blinking and shaking that thought away. After all, it didn't really matter what Zim thought about how she dressed for the mission, did it? Though he might be annoyed to learn that they'd misunderstood the school's instructions.

In any case, deciding that she looked fine, she exited the bathroom she'd been allowed to change in and found Mr. Mod waiting patiently for her.

"Ah, that's more like it, love," he greeted cheerfully, "But now that we've got you properly attired, we need to get you to class. And as luck would have it, I checked your schedule, and I'm your homeroom teacher. If we hurry, we can get there just in time to start on time."

 "Yes Mr. Mod, I am most eager to do the learning," Starfire answered with a beaming smile, "And by chance, on the way could you tell me more about HIVE?" She asked, wondering if she could get any information from the teacher.

 "But of course, ducky, I'd be happy to~" Mod chuckled as he started walking down the hall, Starfire following him, "HIVE Academy was founded by our illustrious leader, Headmaster Blood, to provide a guiding light for today's misguided youth, showing them the proper path forward instead of their selfish destructive ways."

"And, how exactly does this light of guiding work?" Starfire asked. She didn't expect him to outright admit how the brainwashing worked, but maybe he'd let something slip?

"Hard work and discipline, my dear, the twin keys to success in anything," Mod replied. Though Starfire couldn't help but note a slight amused smirk and knowing gleam in his eyes as if he was laughing silently at a joke Starfire herself was not privy to, before carrying on.

"Now, I'll admit I've never heard of these Tamaran islands, so I'm not exactly up to date on your people's culture. So, I can't speak for your educational facilities back on the islands, but here at HIVE, all students are expected to help maintain a certain standard and image for the school," Mod said, pausing in the hallway, "Failure to do so, well..."

He glanced off to the side.

"Results in punishment," he stated matter-of-factly as Starfire blinked and turned her head to see the form of a teen possessing spiky white hair and wearing a sleeveless white jumpsuit... literally smoking and groaning as what appeared to be two robotic drones floating over him dragged him off upside down by his legs, "As you can see from Mr. Rocket, a sadly recurring face in detention," Mod stated with a click of his tongue.

 "Ugh... you can't stop... the music..." Punk Rocket groaned as he was carried away.

"Keep telling yourself that while you're in solitary... I mean, detention," Mod called after the young man, before turning back to a stunned Starfire, "Now then, be sure to follow the rules, and you won't end like that. Understood, love?"

"Um... yes, sir. I will be most certain to keep that in mind," Starfire replied quickly with a nod, a part of her truthfully unnerved, and wondering if this was normal for all Earth educational facilities, with her already planning to question Zim about his own Skool.

If it was normal, this combined with the words of the children of the sewers truthfully made her more worried about how this planet's people treated their young. And frankly, it was really making her start to think that things might be better off if Zim did take over...

Shaking that off, Starfire continued to follow after Mr. Mod as he continued down the hall. Soon, they reached one door in particular, which must have been their destination, because Mod opened it without knocking, gesturing Starfire to follow him, which she did.

"Good morning, class!" Mod greeted the students assembled in the room, "Before we start today, I'd like to introduce you all to our newest student, Miss Starfire Anders!"

 "Umm, greetings! I look forward to do the learning of the education with you all," Starfire greeted with a smile and wave toward her new classmates, while looking across the room. She immediately noted some familiar faces in the crowd - Karen gave her a wave and friendly smile, Kitten glared at her, and Mammoth (now squeezed into a uniform that seemed to be on the verge of bursting) just looked annoyed to be there in general.

How strange that the only people who she knew here would all be in the same class, she couldn't help but note.

 "Why don't you tell us a little about yourself, ducky, any particular likes or hobbies?" Mod said from his seat.

"Um, well, I enjoy the beverage known as mustard, and taking part in honorable combat," Starfire answered with a blink.

 Everyone stared at her for a moment after she spoke, until Kitten broke the silence.

"You drink mustard?!" she exclaimed in disgust, looking around the room in disbelief, "Come on, I can't be the only one who sees how weird that is?!"

 "Urg... seen people eat weirder things..." Mammoth said with a distracted grimace, "And could I... gasp... get a different uniform... or my own clothes back?! I can't breathe here!"

 "If you wanted a properly fitted uniform, you shouldn't have tried to be truant, and then you would have been accurately measured instead of having the next best thing tossed at you," Mod scoffed.

"For the millionth time... I'm not a student here... I'm a Bigfoot!" Mammoth grunted.

"Sure you are. And I'm the King of Siam," Mod said dryly, leaving Starfire confused as to why a king was working as a teacher in an educational facility.

 "Urg, seriously, why isn't anyone else bothered by the school letting in freaks and riffraff now?!" Kitten exclaimed in frustration from being ignored.

 "Control yourself, Miss Walker," Mod said with a frown in the blonde's direction, "It's not proper for young people to insult each other in such ways, after all, and your father's donations to the school are NOT enough for us to look away from that. So, unless you'd like to have a word with the Headmaster, I'd suggest improving your attitude regarding your classmates' appearances and interests, understood?"

Kitten paled slightly at that, before shaking her head to compose herself and looking away with a grumble.

"Much better," Mod said, before looking to Starfire, who was surprised at how quickly Kitten had given in, "Now then, ducky, why don't you grab an empty desk so that we can get started with class?"

 "Of course sir, I am most eager to learn," Starfire said with a smile as she moved to take a seat next to Karen while Kitten shot her a glare, muttering about a suck-up.

 "Excellent, then let's get cracking, shall we?" Mod declared, walking up to the chalkboard and starting to write out today's lesson. A part of Starfire curious and eager to see what the first class in this human educational facility will teach, as even with her mission, perhaps she might learn something useful or have the fun.

 "So, my duckies, we'll be picking up where we left off yesterday, and discussing why the American colonies were utterly wrong to rebel against the motherland and reject the crown for the nonsense that is democracy!" Mod declared, turning away from the chalkboard where he'd drawn the words "Rue Britannia".

Starfire blinked, while the rest of the class groaned.

"How does he keep getting away with this?" someone muttered.

"I think he's got tenure, so he can teach whatever he wants," someone else replied in the same tone.

Needless to say, Starfire - whose research into humanity so far had amounted to whatever she saw on television or what Zim himself deemed important - was still in the dark about wider world history and was confused. But she knew she had to acclimate among the pig-smellies as Zim called them so she spoke up, "Um... I am unfamiliar with this democracy, but rulership of the strong through the crown had always done well for Tamaran."

 And judging by Mod's grin, she apparently said something right.

"Exactly! You see, my duckies, our new student understands the stability found in a royal bloodline."

Starfire beamed at being praised for giving the right answer, while everyone else looked at her in confusion.

"What kinda backwards nowhere dump did you come from?" Kitten muttered, being sure to keep her voice down so that Mod wouldn't hear her.

"Tamaran is no dump of the backwards," Starfire gave Kitten a stern glare, "We are a proud people, with a long history of warriors and glorious combat," she said with genuine pride leaking out of her voice..

"Glorious combat~" Kitten repeated in a sing-song mocking tone, "Seriously, do you people have anything going for you besides just fighting like cavemen?"

Starfire didn't know what men of the caves were, but before she could snap anything back, Karen spoke up.

"And don't you have anything to do besides make fun of other people's cultures?" she scoffed.

"Hey, I call them as I see them - freaks, losers, weirdos and all," Kitten refuted with a huff, "I mean, I can't be the only one who thinks what she's saying is completely backwards, right?"

"Different cultures have different values," Karen replied, "As long as they're not directly harmful, we can't really judge them from our own context."

"That is very wise," Starfire said with a nod, thinking of her own recent problems with Zim and the understanding that they'd come to.

"Eh, I try," Karen said with a smirk, before looking curiously over at Starfire, while ignoring Mod's usual lesson of "Britain awesome, America sucks".

"So, what brings you to HIVE and Doomsville, anyway?" she questioned, feeling the need to get to know the new girl. She'd been impressed so far, and she seemed like good friend material; after all, anyone who could humiliate the spoiled brat Kitten Walker was a-okay in her book.

"Oh, um, Zim believed this the best location for my education," Starfire said instinctively at the first excuse coming to mind... before wincing, realizing she'd let more slip than she intended.

"Zim?" Karen asked with a raised brow, while Kitten frowned, wondering why that name sounded familiar.

"He is, uh..." Starfire paused, wondering how best to explain this. By X'hal, they should have come up with a cover story for their interactions, shouldn't they have?

Not having time to dwell on that oversight, however, she quickly stated the first thing that came to mind.

"He is my... host, whom I am staying with while on this plan... er, I mean, in this country," she said, catching herself midway through the sentence. Karen arched a brow as she noticed that, before Kitten spoke up.

"Wait a minute... is this Zim that weird foreign kid with the green skin condition?" she asked, Starfire blinking in surprise at that.

"You know him?" she asked.

"Thankfully, not personally," Kitten sneered, "But my sister's in his class in that hellhole of a school, and keeps complaining about what a freak he is. I guess I can see why you'd hang out together."

 "He is not the freak," Starfire gave Kitten a dark scowl, "And I would thank you to show him more respect," she added, feeling quite defensive of Zim for some reason. He was... a friend now... yes? After all, they were working together and getting along now. That technically made them friends, did it not?

As Starfire was considering that, Kitten just scoffed.

"From what I hear, he's constantly shouting and talking in third person. That's hardly normal behavior," she said, rolling her eyes.

 "I happen to find the shouting and speaking of the third most endearing." Starfire snipped back slightly with a huff, "It shows how passionate he can be."

"Passionate?" Kitten echoed, face scrunched up in disgust at the wording. Which to her, frankly didn't sound like it should have anything to do with just being friends.

Ugh, was this overly-tanned freak actually dating that green weirdo?! I mean, the fact the brat was her little sister's age aside, from what Jessica had been telling her, he was just as crazy and twice as freaky as Professor Membrane's big-headed conspiracy nut of a son. So why the heck would any girl, much less a girl her own age that was (as much as Kitten hated to admit it) attractive enough to get any guy she wanted, date a weirdo freak like that?

While she was considering this, Starfire waited to see if she was going to follow up with any more insulting comments. When she didn't, Starfire took it as a sign of surrender from the blonde and turned her attention back to Mod, who had been lecturing this whole time without seeming to notice the side conversation going on.

"And that is precisely why the unwashed masses of peasants should have no say in government!" he declared, "Any questions?"

"Oh, um... yes," Starfire raised her hand and asked with a thoughtful look, thinking of information Zim would wish to acquire, "In the event of the hostile invasion, how would the leaders of Earth respond? And what locations might be most vulnerable to attack?"

That question got her more strange looks from everyone, except for Mammoth, who was still struggling with his uniform (and knew she was an alien already anyway).

"Ah... well, I'll give you credit for the unique question, love," Mod said with a blink, "As for answering it... hmm, I suppose that depends on the country and government in question."

Before then adding with a smug smirk, "Which leads to another reason of why the British Empire is superior to the so-called United States, that being it'd easily triumph over any hostile invasion, while the Yanks, especially with how they've grown so fat, lazy, and dumb, would be lucky to last a month."

He said with a laugh, ignoring the insulted looks sent his way.

"Ah, I see, thank you," Starfire said with a slight frown. Zim probably wouldn't be too happy at such a vague answer, but at the very least it sounded like they should investigate this Empire of the British as a potential threat, she thought, missing Kitten's frowning and weirded out look, wondering what was up with this weirdo.

 Seriously, what the people of Earth would do in case of an invasion? Who even thought about stuff like that?

If Kitten was a paranoid nutjob like the Membrane kid, she'd think this freak was an actual alien! Which she obviously wasn't, since there was no such thing, but still, she definitely acted like one!

It was becoming quite clear that this girl was a freak! Which made putting her in her place and establishing the real pecking order around here all the more important, she thought with a smirk as Starfire's first day carried on.

Next class was chemistry with Professor Crane, who seemed quite an avid fan of horror, and remarked about how fear could boil down to a chemical reaction of the body. And as Starfire listened to the man's instructions along with his lecture on fear, Kitten attempted to take advantage of her distraction by dripping some extra chemicals into the vial that was beside Starfire, before scooting back as far away as she could.

 She watched with a smirk and eager anticipation as the vial bubbled up, waiting to see it explode and burst all over Starfire...

WHOOSH

Instead, the contents shot upwards like magma out of a volcano, not spraying onto Starfire but instead arcing through the air and spilling onto Kitten instead.

 "Aaaaaaaaahhh!" Leading to a cry of pain and her having to go through a chemical shower to disinfect while getting a lecture and detention for unproper lab safety.

But she wasn't giving up. Her next attempt was trying to sabotage the weirdo's locker, getting some of the shop class nerds to help her out was easy enough (being hot was such a blessing~). And soon she was watching from down the hall with glee as the orange freak went up to her locker in-between classes, unaware of the boobytrap that had been set for her.

"Enjoy the welcome to school gift, loser," she chuckled quietly to herself as Starfire opened her locker... only to drop one of her books and have to lean down to grab it. As such, as the locker door finished opening on its own, she was out of the way of the spring-loaded stink bombs that Kitten had stuffed inside, which flew through the air over her and down the hall.

SPLAT

"AAHHH!"

And right into Kitten, hitting her hard enough to knock her off of her feet even as they burst, covering her in foul-smelling slime.

 "Hey Kitten, new perfume? Certainly suits you~" Karen asked as she walked by with a smirk, causing Kitten to growl as she laid on the ground while Karen approached Starfire with a giggle before they headed toward the next class together.

That being art with Professor Krill... who seemed to have an odd obsession with artwork that involved any form of polka dots, for some reason. It was usually boring as Hell, but what a surprise, the new weirdo seemed to enjoy it, Kitten thought with a scowl as she watched Starfire happily splatter dots all over her canvas to create vague shapes from them.

Well, she wouldn't be enjoying herself by the time Kitten was through, the blonde thought with a vindictive smirk.

 Her first thought was making sure the weirdo got covered in paint... but after the locker incident, perhaps something else was needed. Which led to her getting that hick Billy to distracted Starfire before flinging a balloon filled with paint at the back of the teacher's head, before quickly throwing another at Starfire and giving a smirk at the weirdo catching it, just like she expected and wanted~

 Starfire blinked as she looked between the balloon she'd just caught, and the teacher who was now covered in paint.

"Who did that?" the man demanded, turning and looking around the room, multiple hands immediately pointing to Starfire, either because they legitimately thought she'd done it, or just because they didn't want to get on Kitten's bad side.

"So, you like tossing paint around, Miss Anders?" Professor Krill asked rhetorically.

"What? No, I-" she tried to protest, only for Professor Krill to suddenly smile wide.

"That's brilliant! Interactive art! That's a true creative spirit right there!" he exclaimed, much to everyone's confusion.

 "Um... thank you?" Starfire said with a blink at that.

"Such passion for art deserves an A+!" the teacher declared, much to the disbelief and twitching brow of Kitten.

"Perhaps you'd like the class to see what you're working on?" Professor Krill added, looking at the painting Starfire had done.

 "Ah, as you wish," Starfire said, setting aside the balloon and grabbing her canvas to turn it around to face everyone. This revealed it to be a large vaguely-humanoid orange and purple blob next to a shorter red and green blob and a much smaller green blob, "It is myself, my friend Zim, and his... dog, GIR."

 "That has to be..." Kitten's insult was cut off by the professor.

"One of the most touching works of art I've ever seen," Professor Krill said, actually wiping a tear from his eyes as Kitten threw him a look of disbelief.

"You can't be serious," she said flatly, "It barely looks like anything!"

"It's called abstract expressionism, Miss Walker," Professor Krill scoffed, "Clearly, you have no artistic appreciation. You get an F!"

"What?!" Kitten exclaimed in outrage, while Karen and several others laughed at her expense.

And as if her day couldn't continue to get worse, next came Kitten's least favorite class... GYM.

Ugh, why was this even a class? They had to change from the boring regular uniforms that she could at least make look good on her into bland and ugly gym uniforms, then run around and do exhausting exercise routines and all sorts of things that made her sweat and stink and feel absolutely filthy.

And worst of all, there was the teacher... Mr. Grundy. A large muscular pale white-skinned with white hair figure that apparently was a result of some reanimation experiment done by that famous scientist Professor Membrane, that ended up as the gym teacher here somehow.

"Grundy want to see students run 5 laps, then 200 pushups, then we do dodgeball!" He grunted, the students all groaning but going along with it.

Starfire was only slightly delayed in doing so, staring at Mr. Grundy in confusion for a moment before shaking it off and joining her class in forming a line and running in a circle several times around the room. Once they were done with that, they then formed rows and dropped to the floor, doing the demanded pushups.

"How are... you... not... exhausted?" Kitten demanded, red-faced and panting as she just barely managed to complete her pushups without collapsing afterwards, while Starfire looked as fresh as when she'd started.

"Oh, I am quite used to the strenuous working out," Starfire replied, thinking back to her much more intense training back on Tamaran.

"Urg... are you... huff... calling me... weak?" Kitten demanded with a glare toward Starfire.

"Not weak, merely inexperienced," Starfire countered with a shrug.

 That casual dismissal actually made Kitten even angrier, growling as she stumbled back to her feet. Before she could say anything, however, Mr. Grundy spoke up again.

"No talking! Grundy want to see two teams for dodgeball!" he ordered.

"What is this ball of dodging?" Starfire asked Karen as she followed her and several others towards one side of the room, while Kitten happily joined the group on the other side, eager to use this allowed chance to inflict some pain on that freak!

"It's a pretty simple game," Karen explained, "You have two teams throwing rubber balls at each other, and if you're hit, you're out. But if you catch a ball, you can throw it back."

"Oh! I believe I understand, it sounds most simple," Starfire said, getting into position by Karen, who smirked at her.

"Simple, yes, easy... ehhh, that depends on your dodging and throwing skills," the other girl said with a slight chuckle, "But look alive..."

She warned, her gaze going to the glaring Kitten, "Because it looks like Kitten's taking the chance to bring some pain."

"Is that right?" Starfire asked, glaring back at the blonde, "Then let her, as you say, bring it!"

As they glared at each other across the room, Mr. Grundy walked over and tossed a bunch of large rubber balls into the middle space between the two teams.

"Start playing!" he ordered.

"Send that weirdo to the hospital!" Was Kitten's roar to her team as the balls went flying, and many on Starfire's team dodged and launched back to the best of their ability.

But Starfire, she treated it like a dance, dodging the balls with seeming ease, while also grabbing and launching them back with great force.

SLAM

As emphasized by Mammoth, who took a ball straight into the gut and was sent flying back through the wall.

SMASH

"Ugh... this hasn't been a good week..." the Bigfoot moaned as he tried to sit up amidst the rubble, only to groan and collapse as he passed out.

"Come now, surely you can be doing better than that~" Starfire giggled mockingly as she caught a ball from Kitten and threw it to knock one of the opposing team members clear off his feet. With Kitten herself letting out a squeak as she ducked down onto the floor, narrowly dodging a ball that would have smacked her in the face.

"Urg, come on, think," she muttered with a scowl. There had to be a way to distract and bring this weirdo down... and as she looked back up while reaching for the nearest ball, she suddenly remembered the weirdo getting so defensive of that freak her sister told her about. Plus, she didn't seem that bright, so maybe...

"Oh no, that Zim kid's getting attack!" She gasped dramatically while pointing behind Starfire.

"Where?!" Starfire demanded, spinning around in a panic, before pausing as she saw nothing behind her, and stopped to consider why Zim would even be here.

"Aha!" Kitten cried out victoriously, throwing a ball as hard as she could at the back of Starfire's head, eagerly watching it soar through the air...

"Watch it!"

Only for Karen to suddenly jump in and grab the ball out of the air before it could hit Starfire.

"Ah, thank you!" Starfire said, sending Karen a surprised yet grateful smile.

"Hey, what are friends for~" Karen said, prompting more surprise but a large genuine smile from Starfire.

"I accept your friendship!" Starfire said happily, not even thinking of how Zim would react as she accepted the ball from Karen, "And I believe I shall be teaching the Kitten why you don't try to trick a Tamaranean warrior," she added, sending Kitten a glare, with the self-proclaimed Queen Bee taking a nervous step back.

"Uh, um, a little help?!" she called out to her teammates, only to realize as she looked around that she was the only one still standing. Gulping at this, she turned back to Starfire with a wide forced smile.

"So... can we just let bygones be bygones?" she asked nervously.

"No, I do not think so," Starfire replied with a smug smirk, before rearing back and tossing the ball right at Kitten.

"Oh no..." With Kitten trying to brace herself, but like Mammoth before her, she was sent flying straight into the wall.

Speaking of whom, Mammoth had regained consciousness and was just starting to pull himself out of the rubble, only for his eyes to widen as he saw Kitten flying towards him.

"Oh, come on-!" he groaned, before the blonde slammed into him.

WHAM

"Well done, A+," Grundy grunted to Starfire, who exchanged a cheer with Karen, who offered a high five, with Starfire returning it after a bit of confusion, "Others could do better, Grundy expects 100 laps after school before going home."

This prompted groans of pain and misery from the losing team, lying all across the floor.

"For now, hit showers," Grundy finished as he blew into his whistle.

"That was most fun!" Starfire said happily as she followed the other girls towards the locker room, the ones on her team clearly in a better mood than the opposing one, who were limping behind them. Kitten in particular was bringing up the rear, glaring at Starfire's back.

 "Certainly been one of the better gym lessons, that's for sure," Karen agreed with a chuckle.

"Speak for yourself," muttered Kitten, as this had to be among the top worst days of school she'd ever had, hands down. It seemed like no matter what she did, this freak was one step ahead of her, and her efforts to put her down only led to pain and humiliation.

 Ugh, maybe she should just call it quits on trying to humiliate the freak... for now. She'd definitely find a way to put this weirdo in her place, but she might want to put some more long-term planning into it so that it didn't backfire on her again.

 Though right now... she winced at her poor aching body flared up. All she wanted to do was take a nice relaxing hot shower...

 And then she got into the locker room and stopped short as she saw that the freak had already casually stripped down, revealing that her figure was even more stunning than she'd already looked in either her uniform or gym clothes.

"Dang girl, you really do look great," Karen commented as she also stripped, "You work out regularly?"

"Yes, I do believe in keeping in the good shape," Starfire replied cheerfully as she gave a stretch, causing her breasts to bounce slightly. Were those DD's? Kitten couldn't help but think incredulously, while instinctively looking down at her own C cups.

 She was proud of her body, she knew she was the sexiest most beautiful girl in school... but now after today, for one of the rare times in her life... she felt inadequate... and she didn't like it!

"I'm impressed," Karen admitted, crossing her arms under her own C cups with a smirk, "Got to share your workout routine," she added as they headed toward the showers, "Plus, I bet you've got experience beating off guys with a stick~" she added teasingly.

 "Um... no?" Starfire replied, blinking in confusion at the statement, "I am not one for using melee weapons, I prefer my fists."

"That's not what I... eh, never mind," Karen started to correct her, before shrugging and letting it go. And at that, the girls walked into the showers to enjoy a good soak for their bodies as they got clean, with Kitten shooting Starfire angry jealous glares the entire time.

 Oh, she was going to enjoy making this freak pay when the time came. No one made her look bad, or made her feel inadequate, and got away with it!

 Though as Kitten swore her vengeance, she was unaware that she wasn't the only one who had Starfire on their mind.

(Headmaster's office)

"interesting," Blood remarked, looking at security footage from the gym, his gaze focused on the new girl and her displayed agility and great strength...

"Very interesting," he remarked, as this particular student could serve his cause quite well... but at the same time, something bothered him.

"Tamaran..." He muttered with a frown, overlooking the paperwork, "I don't recall ever hearing of such an island."

Blood said with a low hum, rubbing his chin, before shaking it off, "Could be some uncultured backwater that wasn't even bothered to be placed on the map," he muttered while skimming through the file. But that didn't feel quite right, because then how could she have ended up here in Doomsville attending his school?

And frankly, there was something about her file that was nagging at him. Almost like it was TOO perfectly normal.

 "Starfire Anders... what are you hiding?" Blood muttered with a frown, a part of him wondering if he was being paranoid. But if his mother ever taught him anything, if the world felt like it was out to get you, that's because it mostly was.

"God bless that woman's dark soul and her doom lectures," he muttered with a faint smirk. Granted, he and his mother had issues... but once everything was said and done, she'd finally acknowledge him and admit her pride in him!

(Elsewhere in the city)

An old crone paused in her repeated mention of the word "doom" to her class, turning and glaring off in the distance.

"Fat chance of that happening, brat," she muttered to herself.

"Uh, are you alright, Miss Bitters?" Zita asked from her seat.

"It's nothing, shut up," Miss Bitters snapped, before going back to chanting "doom" over and over.

(Back at HIVE)

But, that could come later, Blood told himself. For now, he had a little mystery to unravel. And something told him that whatever she was hiding would be quite useful indeed~

"Hmm... perhaps an appointment with Miss Quinzel to get in our new transfer's head will help~" Blood reasoned out loud. After all, the best way to bend his students to his will was to understand what made them tick. And the school's resident counselor/therapist was an expert when it came to that.

Hmm, yes, that was what they'd do, he decided, making a note to have Miss Anders meet with Miss Quinzel to make sure that she was properly settling in.

 But his thoughts were cut off as his intercom buzzed, "Sir, we have a runner, the student that keeps trying to tell everyone he's a Bigfoot is making a run for the perimeter."

Blood sighed; ambitions of world conquest aside, a headmaster's work was never done, it seemed, "Alert Shallowgrave and release the robo-dogs."

 "Yes sir," the voice replied. Moments later, alarms started sounding, and Blood watched on the security cameras as Mammoth ran across the school's front yard, being pursued by a group of robotic dogs, with Shallowgrave bringing up the rear and swinging his hook hand around.

 "Bigfoot... honestly," Blood remarked, shaking his head as he reached to take a sip of his coffee, "The things teenagers will make up to avoid a proper education," he said with a sip before giving a snort, "Next will probably be something like spacemen," He stated with a roll of his eyes, watching as the robot dogs deployed the electric nets.

 (A few hours later)

As the school day wound down, Starfire was surprised to find herself receiving a message to go to the office of something called the "school counselor's office". Naturally, she had no idea what that meant, but Karen had quickly explained when asked about it.

"Eh, it's just someone you talk to if you feel like you're having problems around the school," she said, "They probably just want to make sure that you're settling in alright."

 "Very well, but is there anything I should know about this counselor of the school?" Starfire questioned, feeling wary about this for some reason.

"Well, besides the typical counselor being worried about your mental health or paranoia about them getting in your head to brainwash you," Karen joked, unknowingly getting Starfire's complete attention with that statement, "Is that Professor Quinzel is nice if a bit quirky," Karen said, before giving her a serious look, "Though let's just say I wouldn't take her dating advise," she said, clicking her tongue, "Her last boyfriend turned out to be some freaky killer clown, and I'm 50/50 on her being oblivious to Isley's crush on her."

She said, pointing toward another student that was carrying and cooing over a potted plant.

 "Ah... would a relationship between an adult teacher and a student not be most against the rules?" Starfire asked, watching the other redhead walk away with the plant in hand.

"Yep, which is why I'm leaning towards her pretending not to notice so that they don't have to have an awkward conversation about it," Karen replied with a shrug.

"I see," Starfire nodded, though honestly she wasn't really paying attention to this part of the conversation. Instead, she was thinking of how it would appear that she might have a way to learn about this place's supposed brainwashing techniques. If some students were worried about brainwashing, perhaps the Headmaster's activities hadn't gone completely unnoticed by the humans, and this counselor of the school was his agent used to enact whatever methods he deployed?

Though, did this mean she was already being targeted? Was this Quinzel planning already to turn her into a mindless drone the moment she let her guard down? Starfire's eyes narrowed as Karen directed her to the counselor's office, realizing she would have to be most cautious and... wait. Her eyes widened... what was that part about the woman having dated a killer clown?

 "Ah, wait. You say that she dated a killer clown?" she asked Karen nervously.

"That's the rumor, at least," Karen replied, looking slightly disturbed herself, "Apparently, he was some freak with green hair and face paint who liked to run around killing people."

 Starfire herself paled at the description, easily recognizing it as that of the Killager Klowns. Had this woman truly consorted with one... and survived?!

"She must be a mighty warrior indeed," Starfire mumbled out loud before she could stop herself... that or unhinged enough to be seen as a kindred spirit by one of the most twisted species in existence.

Either way, it was clear that this counselor was dangerous.

 "I don't know about that, but I did once see her judo-flip a guy who tried to steal her purse at the mall," Karen said as the two of them came to a stop next to a door, "Anyway, here's her office. Good luck."

"Thank you," Starfire said with a nod. Taking a breath to steady herself, she reached up and knocked on the door.

"Come on in!" a chipper voice called out from the other side of the door. At that, Starfire stepped in and saw... a woman standing with one leg on a desk while the other leg was placed over the back of her head.

"Just doing some afternoon yoga, healthy for the body and soul," the woman said, before leaping up and performing a flip, then landing perfectly in front of Starfire, "You must be the new girl! I'm Professor Harley Quinzel, though friends call me Harley Quinn."

 "Um, yes, I am Starfire Anders," Starfire replied, barely remembering to use the fake family name that Zim had given her.

"Nice ta meet ya!" Harley replied happily, taking a seat behind her desk, "Why don't ya go ahead and take a seat, and then tell me a little about yourself."

 "Um, okay, what would you like to know?" Starfire asked warily.

"Oh, anything really," Harley said as Starfire took a seat, "Likes, dislikes, your family, opinions on your classmates and new school," she gave a teasing smirk, "We could even have some girl talk about cute boys~"

 Starfire blinked at that last part, not sure how to process it... or why her mind suddenly went to Zim.

"Ahem... I do not believe I feel like discussing the boys of the cute," she said quickly as her cheeks burned, something that Harley noticed with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

Ooh, looks like somebody has a crush~ She thought with amusement as she leaned back in her seat.

"True, shouldn't jump right into the good stuff," she said, picking up a pen and notepad, "How about you tell me how you're adjusting to Doomsville?"

Harley said with a friendly grin, "After all, I'm sure it's different from these Tamaran islands you're apparently from, according to the school gossip and your file," And on the former, Harley made a note to make a appointment with Kitten Walker, since it sounded like her self-esteem had been taking quite the beating today, "I admit I've never heard of the place, but it sounds nice and tropical," Harley added with a shrug.

"Oh yes, it is quite nice," Starfire replied, smiling happily as she thought of the jungles of her home planet, "And I must admit, it has been quite an adjustment. This city is... quite strange."

"Heh, you won't get an argument from me there~" Harley giggled, "But underneath all the natural weirdness, you'll find that this place is a lot of fun. You've got the mall, theater, skating rinks..." Harley ticked off her fingers, "And loads of interesting people."

 "Yes, I admit that I have met some... unique individuals in my short time here," Starfire said, thinking of that zor'duni Dib, the extremely disturbing Keef, Mammoth, the children in the sewers, the morally disgusting King of the Sewers, and that very strange man who thought that the sewer children were men of the moles.

 "And who stands out the most to you and why?" Harley questioned as Starfire frown in thought.

 And at the question, Starfire frowned, who stood out the most? For some reason, her mind went to a certain green zar'pyak, his maniacal energy, the way he spoke in third person, how he commanded and demanded respect, his passion for victory and conquest...

 "Hmm... I suppose the first person that comes to mind is my... host, Zim," Starfire said, eyes lost in thought, "I did not like him at first, but I must admit that he has won me over since then. He is strong and determined in his ways, and very passionate in his beliefs."

"Really? Tell me more," Harley said with a smirk, noting the tone in Starfire's voice and look in her eyes. Seemed she found out who the girl was crushing on~

 "Well, we've had disagreements, mostly about something he did to a rather creepy obsessive boy... as well as his own methods lacking the honor I was raised to value," Starfire continued, finding herself feeling comfortable to open up a bit, "But at the same time... I feel that despite being unsure how to feel about his methods or his, um... goals..."

Starfire bit her lip slightly as Harley arched a brow, but she just gave a cough, knowing she couldn't very well mention planetary conquest.

"That we've developed a respect for each other... I'm unsure if we're friends... but I like to believe we have become so," she smiled slightly, "He refers to me as his General... we had much fun together battling side by side in the tag of the lasers... and he looked the most adorable in that outfit after he lost the bet we had made~"

"Well, sounds like you two are really happy together~" Harley said with a giggle, enjoying how excited the girl appeared to be.

"Oh yes, I believe we very much are!" Starfire replied with a wide smile, oblivious to what Harley was implying.

For her part, the counselor made a point of writing all this down. Whoever this "Zim" was, Starfire clearly cared about him a lot, and Headmaster Blood would want to know about that, she thought, her eyes flashing a brief red glow.

"But besides your host, how are you finding your new classmates? Made any friends?" She questioned with a smile toward the girl.

"Um, yes... I believe Karen could potentially be called the friend," Starfire answered carefully with a slight frown.

She hadn't been expecting to make friends while carrying out this mission for Zim, but she had to admit, she liked talking and spending time with Karen. The girl was very fun and enjoyable to talk to, and had been kind to help her settle in here, so she supposed that they were friends.

"Good to know," Harley said, making a note of that too, "Meanwhile, I hear you're not getting along well with Kitten Walker."

"Yes. Apparently, the Queen of Bees does not like that I am not to her standards," Starfire said with a frown, Harley blinking at her odd choice of words, but she carried on, offering the girl a comforting smile.

"Ehh, don't take it personal. While I'm no teen anymore, some things will never change," she said, giving a snort, "And one of them is the high school food chain; Kitten probably sees you as a threat to her popularity and standing."

"I have no interest in such things," Starfire said with a blink.

"Maybe not, but for young people with that mindset, it's the most important thing in the world," Harley waved off, "I imagine that she'll get over it in time... ah, but you might want to consider trying to make peace with her to speed things up, just in case."

"I am willing to ignore her if she is willing to do the same," Starfire said after a moment's thought.

"Yeah..." Harley thought back to her own high school days and what she knew of Ms. Walker's psychological profile.

(Elsewhere in the school)

"Forget it kid, school property isn't for students to mess around with on personal matters," Shallowgrave grunted as he dragged the netted Mammoth back into the building.

"Oh come on, I just need those dogs for five minutes, tops!" Kitten exclaimed, gesturing toward the robotic dogs, "I'll even clean any blood off when I'm done!"

(Back at counselor office)

"I don't think she'll be interested in a deal like that," Harley said with a slight cough.

"Well then, if she is foolish enough to pursue a vendetta with me, I will return it in kind," Starfire said defiantly, which Harley arched an eyebrow at.

"I see... well, I'll be sure to make a note for everyone to keep an eye out for that," Harley said, "But, aside from that, anything else you feel like getting off your chest? Anything about how you're adjusting, more about this Zim fellow, or even anything from home you miss?" she added, giving Starfire an analyzing look.

 "Hmm..." Starfire tapped her chin in thought as she considered that.

 "I suppose I miss home... but I'm finding much joy in learning about this pla... uh, city," Starfire said with a quick cough, "And while I long to see my sister again, I'm sure she'd understand I have to do this."

 "Oh, you have a sister?" Harley asked, "Older or younger? And are you close?"

"She is older. And... I admit... we have perhaps not always been as close as I would wish to be," Starfire admitted with a sigh.

"Oh come on share, this is a safe space," Harley encouraged.

"It's just... Blackfire... I love my sister, but it feels like there has always been something keeping us apart," Starfire admitted with a thoughtful frown, "I hate to say it, but looking back, I feel that sometimes our parents may have shown me excessive favor over her, and that may have made her a little bitter."

"That's not uncommon in families with multiple children. I doubt your parents meant any harm by it," Harley said compassionately.

"Perhaps not, but it did seem to make Blackfire very eager to always prove herself as the best at everything," Starfire stated, "I worry sometimes that that might have kept us from properly bonding."

"Hmm, well, when you next see your sister, try to get her perspective on things, while letting her know that you care," Harley said offering that bit of advice, "I'm sure she cares for you the same way."

"I hope you are correct," Starfire stated. She loved her sister, after all, and the fact that there was always a bit of a distance between them was a constant ache for her. Perhaps she should ask Zim about working on a way to contact home? She should at least assure her sister and Galfore that she was alright.

As she was pondering this, however, Harley was taking more notes. A crush, a friend, a rival, a sister she had issues with... yes, there was a lot here to work with~ But for now, probably best to wrap this up.

"Well, I think that's all for now," she said, regaining Starfire's attention, "You can get going. But if you ever need anything, don't be afraid to come knocking at my door."

 "Thank you," Starfire said with a polite nod and grin, though a slight wary look in her eyes as she stood up, both relieved that the washing of the brain wasn't attempted, but part of her still wary of anything, despite how friendly the Counselor had been.

"I will most certainly keep that in mind," she said, turning to leave, knowing she had to head home and that Zim would likely want a report on the first day at the educational facility.

Missing not only how she so easily thought of the base as home, but how Harley's eyes let out a red glow as she left.

(Headmaster's Office)

"And that's everything we were able to obtain from our session with Starfire Anders, Headmaster," reported Harley with a more blank expression and monotone as she stood at attention in front of Blood's desk.

 "Very good, Miss Quinzel," Blood replied, looking over Harley's notes. There was still a lot of gaps in what they knew about the new student, but this gave a lot of angles they could work with. He especially thought that exploiting the newfound rivalry with Miss Walker might prove fruitful... or would be, if the blonde wasn't such an unbearably dimwitted brat, he admitted with a grimace. Honestly, she was perhaps one of the regular recurring headaches at his otherwise pristine school, and sadly one of the outliners who had the will to resist his control as well.

Which was just embarrassing, really, and part of the reason why he sought to refine and strengthen his power through any means necessary. Though to be fair, who would have expected that being spoiled and bratty at such a level at Miss Walker would allow a resistance to mind control?!

Taking a deep breath to calm himself as he realized that he was starting to spiral over this, Blood shook it off. He could worry about that pain another time, for now he had Miss Anders to deal with.

If the rivalry with Miss Walker wasn't workable, there was the matter of her friendship with Miss Beecher. Perhaps she could be used as a means of getting his foot in the door, so to speak. After all, while the girl had willpower, she unlike others could be brought to heel, so to speak, or at least subtly pushed toward the preferred direction while believing it's her own choice. Plus, friendship was always a wonderful thing to exploit; he was sure Miss Beecher would be eager to help her new friend fit in more~ And of course, there was the matter of this Zim, a bit more of an unknown, but he could easily obtain any information he needed to use Miss Anders' affection to his advantage.

He made a mental note use his connections at the Department of Education to track down this boy and learn everything that was needed to know about him. Then he'd be able to use that to his advantage and bend Miss Anders to his will!

But in the meantime, best to see what he could do here at the school with what was already at his disposal.

"That's all, Miss Quinzel, you may go," he ordered, "But be at the ready to exploit Miss Anders' weaknesses once we've determined them. Oh, and try to pry any more information about her sister out of her; that might come in handy."

"At your word, Headmaster," the woman said with a waist bow, causing Blood to smirk. She'd been particularly resistant, but like with everybody else, she submitted to his control and acted as a wonderful tool among the staff. No matter how annoying her surface personality could be for him, she had a way of getting people to open up, he thought as she stood back straight and move to leave.

"Oh! And before I forget, there was one other matter I needed you to attend to," he said, giving a smirk as he recalled a particular piece of school gossip that had reached his ears, "While such fraternization is usually not condoned or strictly professional..."

His eyes took on a red glow, along with Harley's, "I believe it would be in the best interest of Pamela Isley's future if you nurtured her crush on you, like one would nurture a seed into a blossoming flower."

He intoned, his mind going to one of his more special students that were key points of interest for his ambitions. Unfortunately, the same talents that made her so special also made attempting to control her through his usual methods trickier... so perhaps a woman's touch was needed.

And if she was going to be weak enough to develop feelings for someone twice her age... well, he was not going to pass up on an opening like that.

"As you command, Headmaster," Harley said with another bow, before turning and walking away, her altered mind already analyzing how to take advantage of and manipulate Pamela's crush on her.

 Leaving behind the Headmaster, whose eyes glowed with evil and ambition. Oh yes, each piece would play their part, and in time, everyone will follow the will of Blood. It was only a matter of time~

 (Zim's base, a while later)

"Hmm, so this is what humans mean by uniforms for their young?" Zim asked, looking Starfire over carefully, as she stood in the living room, still dressed in her school uniform.

"Yes, it seems we misunderstood what they meant," she stated, "But I think it looks quite good, yes?"

"Ah... ahem, yes, Zim supposes that it does," Zim said with a cough, flushing slightly at he looked Starfire over, noting that something about the outfit was quite visibly appealing. Especially in the skirt and leg areas of the body for some reason, he couldn't help but think before shaking it off.

"Regardless, tell Zim of how the infiltration proceeds!" Zim ordered his General with a stern look, "As Zim's mighty General, I suspect it's likely gone brilliantly, with no difficulty whatsoever," he added with a small smirk, with Starfire herself feeling a warm feeling of pride from Zim's faith in her.

"Well... it was interesting," she said with a thoughtful look, "Though I believe I have made both the friend... as well as the rival," she added, thinking back to both Karen and Kitten, "And it seems the big of the foot I told you about will also be attending the HIVE."

She informed him as Zim gave a blink at the information.

(Elsewhere, outside the city)

"Urg, finally, day's over... now I can kiss that dump goodbye and come home," Mammoth muttered as he stomped into a cave that was located in the woods at the edge of Doomsville, with it decorated and taking the words man cave to a literal degree, from stolen vending machines and a widescreen TV hooked up to a generator, used soda cans, and disregarded pizza boxes laying over the floor.

"Urg... if I ever see another stupid uniform, it'll be too soon," he grunted as he let himself fall onto the large sofa that sat in front of the TV with a groan, "And I swear, first chance I get, I'm going to pound that alien girl and Shallowgrave for this entire waste of a day."

The teenage Bigfoot swore, before pushing himself up on the couch, "But at least it's over, I'll never have to step foot in that dump again," Because next time, he'd be ready for that truancy officer, and make sure Shallowgrave lives up to his name... or rather doesn't~

"And I can relax with some mindless TV," he added with a hopeful smile, "Now... where'd I put the remote?" Mammoth wondered as he turned around to look through the couch cushions, before blinking as something tapped on his shoulder.

"Here remote, hairy boy," spoke a deep voice as a large pale hand held it out to Mammoth.

"Ah, thanks," Mammoth said at first with a bright grin and smile as he took the remote and took a seat, turning on the television, "Now, let's see what's on."

"Grundy like Probing the Membrane of Science. Grundy enjoy seeing Daddy educate young minds," said the figure seating next to him on a recliner.

"Aw, but I wanted to watch some Love, War, & Insanity..." Mammoth protested, before freezing as the scene just hit him, "Wait a moment..."

His expression turned to a mixture of anger and shock.

"What the hell are you doing in my cave?!" Mammoth demanded as he got up, glaring toward the recliner, or rather the large reanimated form of Coach Grundy seated in it.

"Headmaster assigned Grundy as hairy boy's official watcher to make sure hairy boy no longer skips school," Grundy said with a grunt, "Education is important for young minds..." he added with a sage nod as Mammoth's eyes twitched, "And Grundy thinks hairy boy should clean cave before being allowed TV privileges."

"RAAAAHHHH!!!" Mammoth yelled in outrage to the sky, the scream echoing through the forest and making animals scatter.

Chapter Text

"What the hell are you doing in my cave?!" Mammoth demanded as he got up, glaring toward the recliner, or rather the large reanimated form of Coach Grundy seated in it.

"Headmaster assigned Grundy as hairy boy's official watcher to make sure hairy boy no longer skips school," Grundy said with a grunt, "Education is important for young minds..." he added with a sage nod as Mammoth's eyes twitched, "And Grundy thinks hairy boy should clean cave before being allowed TV privileges."

"RAAAAHHHH!!!" Mammoth yelled in outrage to the sky, the scream echoing through the forest and making animals scatter.

 (One week later)

It had been another... interesting day at school, Starfire thought to herself as she made her way back to Zim's house from the HIVE.

 The brat of the spoiled that is Kitten, it seems, was determined to declare a blood feud with her, and continue to seek any means she could to humiliate her or prove her superiority. Which, Starfire thought somewhat smugly, she was completely failing to do. Every attempt to show up Starfire just kept blowing up in her face, something that Starfire and Karen both took much amusement in~

Speaking of whom, Starfire really was enjoying her new friendship with the human girl. Perhaps they should try the hanging out that human teens did on the TV? That seemed like it would be most fun!

 She'd even been going out of her way to help Starfire learn more of the culture of the teen and help her fit in more. Though it seemed Zim, while pleased at her for gaining the confidence of one of the pig-smellies, and of her establishing her dominance over the Kitten, wasn't particular happy at the "friendship" she seemed to be forming. Especially after the experience with the creepy that was the Keef, she thought with a brief shudder, remembering that boy, a part of her wondering what had happened to him, but not caring as long as he was far away.

She'd of course assured Zim this was to the benefit of his mission and wouldn't affect her loyalties... though as she grew closer to Karen, she was planning to make sure she came out safe and favorable when Zim conquered the planet, or if it came to it, perhaps help her relocate back to Tamaran with her, as ensuring her safety was the least Starfire could do in exchange for Karen giving her trust and friendship, was it not?

 However, she was pulled out of her thoughts by a scream ahead of her. Blinking in surprise at that, Starfire looked in confusion as a woman carrying a bag that was spilling makeup items ran down the street.

"The horror! The horror!" she screamed as she ran past Starfire, who turned to look after her as she went, only for another more familiar voice to cry out as well.

"Wait, come back! I needs stuff!" GIR yelled as he came down the street, chasing after the woman.

 Leaving Starfire to blink and wonder for a moment if she should intervene before shrugging, "I suppose there's no harm in letting the little Bumgorf play a little."

 With that, she continued on her way back to the house, oblivious to how GIR would soon be further traumatizing the poor Avon saleslady.

Soon, she reached the base and walked inside, pausing at the sight that greeted her. Zim was sitting slumped on the couch, pouting and clearly in a bad mood, while his robotic parent decoys (which she had to admit that she found to be quite disturbing, if she was being honest) were off to one side, the mother robot poking the father robot with a wooden spoon.

"Zim, I am back," she spoke up, catching Zim's attention.

 "Welcome, General, perhaps you might be able to help Zim figure out the solution to this problem," Zim said with a grunt as he scowled at the parent decoys, prompting a blink from Starfire.

"What is the matter?" She inquired, floating over to sit beside him on the couch.

"Apparently tonight is Parent Teacher Night at Zim's educational facility, where the Earthling pig-smelly smeets are expected to bring their parental units to attend, Zim included.  But the parent decoys are clearly nowhere near ready for that kind of service," Zim said with a growl as the mom decoy continued to jab the dad decoy with the spoon.

"Zim's programming is brilliant!" he exclaimed, holding up a fist, "But even Zim must admit that it is challenging to program the proper level of stupidity that is normal among Earth-Monkeys, that doesn't cross into levels of dumb even for humans, with even less restraint," Zim explained and added with a groan.

 "I see..." Starfire said, glancing at the robots and frowning in thought, "Could you not perhaps make them observe normal humans to imitate them better?"

"Hmm, maybe," Zim mused, scratching his chin in thought, "Though we will have to find a way to accelerate the process, with what limited time we have. And Zim believes it will be of assistance if you attend as well," he added, glancing over to her, "With the cover of us playing host to you while you're here in this pitiful city away from the islands of Tamaran, it might help make more of the Earth-Monkeys believe our brilliant cover story if we're seen together."

 Starfire blinked at that, then nodded.

"Yes, I suppose I can see your point," she said.

"Excellent. But first thing's first," Zim stated, jumping off of the couch, "GIR!"

With a blur, GIR jumped into the house, dog costume now covered in stolen makeup.

"Yes sir!" he greeted with a salute.

 "We must see to the programing of the parent decoys, and we must work quickly!" Zim ordered, gesturing for them to follow, "We only have a few hours till this parent teacher thing, and no doubt the Dib-Stink will exploit any vulnerability he sees to expose us."

He said with a dark scowl, "This would be so much easier if humans had cold unfeeling robot arms like Irkens rather than parental units," Zim remarked, prompting a surprised look of concern from Starfire.

"Irkens do not have families?" she asked with a look of sympathy toward Zim; despite the loss of her parents, or the rift that she worried had formed between her and her sister, she could not imagine a life without them or even Galfore, who had truly stepped up as a k'norfka after the loss of her parents.

 "No, we do not, we have no reason for them," Zim scoffed, "Irkens only have their duty to do their service to the Empire and the Tallest, and that is all we need!"

"That sounds quite lonely," Starfire said sadly.

"Lonely? HA!" Zim barked out a laugh as they entered the elevator and headed down the lower levels, "Irkens have no need for companionship! We stand united against the rest of the universe in an unrelenting tide of conquest yes, but no Irken truly ever needs anyone."

Zim said with a smug smirk that fell slightly at Starfire's look, "But... Zim will admit... in rare cases... some company is welcome."

Ugh, why did he feel the need to reassure her? Zim thought with a grumble. And why did it feel like he wasn't just saying what she wanted to hear? Had he really come to like her presence so much in so short a time?

Admittedly, her presence was certainly more tolerable than those Zim had usually been forced to keep company with, whether through fellow cadets back in his training years, scientists on Vort Research Station 9 who didn't see his brilliance, or all his fellow Invaders who were merely jealous of Zim's amazing skill! Except for Skoodge, but ehh, that was Skoodge. And don't even get Zim started on Sizz-Lorr!

Yes... there was no denying that Starfire, despite her over reliance on honor he was still working on getting rid of, was proving acceptable company to keep. She was certainly more tolerable than any of the robots that he had at his disposal, he thought. The Robot-Parents, as established, weren't properly programmed, GIR's programming was so advanced that it came across as stupid, and the Computer was a disrespectful piece of junk.

But Starfire... Zim could have real conversations with her, and actually enjoyed spending time with her.

Was Zim becoming... soft?! NO! Of course not! Zim was as ruthless and evil as ever! Zim... Zim... merely saw a valuable asset! Starfire was proving not only a good agent in further infiltrating this wretched planet, but also helping her master keep his senses sharp from inferior or stupid company. That was it!

As Zim was reassuring himself of that, Starfire was dwelling on her own thoughts.

She'd always thought negatively of Irkens... but right now, she felt a twinge of pity. To go your whole life with no one beside you to rely on except maybe other soldiers who didn't care about you personally? That was truly a sad experience, no matter what Zim said.

Was that why he was so angry all the time? Because he had so little positive support in his life?

Perhaps what Zim needed was to be shown that he had someone that cared for him. Shown the joy in accepting friendship and love in his life! Starfire thought with determination, not even noticing the word "love" popping up in her thoughts or how it sent a warm feeling through her.

Soon, they reached the labs, and Zim walked in front of a row of screens.

"Computer! Bring up every possible video you can find on the human inter-webs about how normal adult Earth-Monkey parental units behave!" he ordered.

"You got it, but you sure you want those so-called decoys leaving the house?" The Computer asked as it followed the order, "Because honestly, you might have better luck hiring actors."

"Do not question Zim!" Zim snapped, "Obviously, superior Irken technology would be better for the role of pretending to be human pig-smellies than actual ones!"

"I... do not quite follow that logic," Starfire commented with a blink, "But, I do agree that it is probably best to not get humans involved in this."

 "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you," the Computer said with an artificial sigh.

"Hmm, and as we prepare the parental units... is there anything about our own cover we need to go over?" Starfire questioned with a frown.

 "Hmm," Zim tapped his chin in thought, "Zim supposes that we should clarify details of how and why you are being hosted by Zim. Even if most of the worm-babies don't care, the Dib-Stink will likely try to poke holes in our story."

"Agreed, and I must confess to being curious about your own cover story you gave," Starfire added with a look toward Zim, with the Computer giving a snort.

"You mean the one that he made up on the spot which is basically being a human foreigner with a weird skin condition?" it asked in a dry tone.

 "It was a brilliant cover, and it worked!" Zim snapped defensively, "Other than the Dib-Stink, no one even slightly saw through it, and that's just because his large head makes him slightly more intelligent than the others!"

"If you say so," the Computer replied, clearly not buying it.

 "Hmmm... perhaps we could take this as the chance to make it even more brilliant then," suggested Starfire as she floated to the side of a scowling Zim.

 "And how do you propose to do that?" Zim asked, annoyed but not genuinely angry at the suggestion.

"Perhaps simply add details of where you are from and why your family came here?" she offered.

 "I.,." Zim was about to say his cover story was perfect as it was; after all, Zim came up with it! But seeing Starfire's earnest expression, and actually thinking about it...

"I suppose... a few more details wouldn't hurt," Zim conceded with a grunt, before adding with a frown, "At the very least, this will prevent the Dib-Stink from causing problems, because he foolishly believes he'll find something in Zim's already flawless cover that will expose Zim! But once Zim makes the cover even more flawless, the Dib will only make a fool of himself!"

He called out with a cackle as he worked to strap in the parent decoys to prepare them for the download.

"Uh-huh... so, what you going with then?" the Computer asked dryly with a hint of curiosity in its digital tone.

"Well, obviously any details in Zim's cover story must be worthy of Zim's greatness," Zim scoffed.

 "Hmm... perhaps your family came here because you were too intelligent a student for your homeland's schools?" Starfire suggested.

"Ooh, yes! Zim likes that!" Zim said excitedly.

"Of course you do," the Computer said flatly, "But really, that ego-stroking aside, improved grades brought you HERE? That seems more like a downgrade."

 "Hmm... you might actually have a point," And to the Computer's surprise, Zim actually acknowledged this, "So, perhaps Zim also came here to help improve the inferior educational system by acting as a superior example to all the small-minded smeets."

Ah, and there was the typical ego flaring up again, the AI thought as Zim gave a smug smirk.

 "Right, that sounds more reasonable," the Computer said dryly, "What about saying where you're from?"

"Can we not simply use the name of Irk for a false location here on Earth, as we did with Tamaran?" Starfire suggested.

"Yes, an excellent suggestion!" Zim declared, "We can simply say that it's a nation in one of those parts of Earth where borders are constantly changing so much that the humans cannot keep track of what they currently are!"

"The Balkans it is, then," the Computer commented.

 "And for why Zim family was chosen to host you, we can say that Zim saved your life from a giant lizard creature native to Tamaran, and that you're in Zim's debt since," the Irken added, not seeing any reason to not include some of his natural amazingness to the cover.

 "You don't think that's a bit much?" the Computer asked.

"Not really, no," Zim said, looking confused as to why the Computer thought that it would be.

"It is technically true, after all," Starfire added, tilting her head in thought, "Even if he was not from Tamaran, Trogaar was a large example of a Gordanian, and they are lizards."

"Exactly, and it will give Zim a chance to show how superior he is to all the Earth-Monkeys without breaking Zim's amazing cover," Zim said as the parent decoys were finished being strapped in and hooked up, "Now, let us prepare the decoys, and this night shall go flawlessly!"

With that, all the screens turned on, each playing a different TV program.

"Failure to rotate stock destroys merchandise."

"You stupid moron!"

"Do you have any ideas?"

"Oooh, I love this show! No wait, this is my favorite show... oooh, no, that's my favorite show!" And GIR immediately rushed over to the various screens with a wide grin.

"This will teach them to act more like the normal humans?" Starfire asked slightly warily as the various clips flashed across the screens.

"Yes. Or at least normal enough to pass for tonight," Zim said with a nod, watching on one screen as a human man was shown walking down a street before an X-ray view of him showed his spine cracking.

"Ahhhhh! My spine!" the man screamed in pain as he spasmed in pain and foam came out of his mouth, before the word "Aspirin" flashed over the screen. Meanwhile, the screen next to it flashed from static to the Scary Monkey Show.

"I love this show~" GIR cooed.

"On second thought, perhaps we should find something else," Zim said with a grimace.

"Maybe this will help, I just compiled it," the Computer said, a mechanical hand lowering a tape labeled "Proper Earth Parenting" down to Zim, who snatched it up.

"Excellent! Zim is glad to see that you're useful something after all, Computer," the Irken crowed.

"I try," the Computer said back, and if it had eyes, it would be rolling them as Zim put in the tape, "I am curious what humans consider the proper parenting."

Starfire admitted, as thinking back to what she'd seen of how this planet treated its young left much to be desired, to say the least.

The video turned on, and started playing on all of the screens at once, showing a human man and woman with a young boy who was presumably their son.

"We sure are proud of our little boy," the woman said.

"We sure are!" the man added.

"Make sure they watch the entire video, GIR. The fate of our mission depends on it!" Zim ordered as he turned to walk away, "Come, General, we must go and prepare ourselves for tonight as well!"

"Be good, little Bumgorf~" Starfire gave GIR a quick hug before setting him down and floating after Zim, "What else needs the preparing for tonight?" she questioned as the lab doors closed behind them, leaving GIR to blink as he stared up at the screens... before pulling out a remote and changing the channels back to the earlier broadcasts.

"Are you plagued by grass stains?" a woman standing in front of a washing machine asked as she held up grass-stained pants.

"I like burritos... but they sure don't like me!" a fat man said, holding a burrito and a glass of hot sauce, the word diarrhea appearing over him, written in blood.

"Who does your hair?" asked a woman with wild hair.

"We now return to our movie in progress - Poke of Doom!" declared an unseen announcer.

"I love this show~" GIR cooed as he watched all of this, as the Robo-Parents twitched with electricity.

"Well, this is going to go badly," the Computer mused. It could step in to fix this... but where was the fun in that?

 (A few hours later)

Sometime later, parents and family members were gathering in the Skool lunchroom at the elementary, some obviously more eager than others for tonight.

"This is it, Gaz, I'm sure of it," Dib spoke with an eager grin, "Whatever plan Zim has to bring his so-called "parents" to Parent Teacher Night is my chance to expose him in front of everyone here," he said eagerly as Gaz gave a grunt, shooting him na annoyed look.

"Do you really have to make tonight even more annoying, Dib?" she asked with a scowl, "It's bad enough that Grundy's here."

 As she said this, she looked over to where their father's reanimation science project (she refused to acknowledge the zombie's delusion that he was their "brother") was standing nearby, holding onto the leash of a child harness that was wrapped around a very disgruntled-looking Mammoth.

"Why am I even here?! This isn't even the school you're forcing me to go to!" Mammoth protested.

"Grundy here to support Grundy's family," the zombie replied, making Gaz roll her eyes, "And Grundy not trust hairy boy to not run away without Grundy's supervision."

While Mammoth grumbled at this, Dib blinked as he finally registered his presence, and his eyes widened in shock.

"Hey, wait a minute! Aren't you the Bigfoot who broke into our garage and took our belt sander?!" he demanded, pointing angrily at Mammoth.

 "Huh... thought that big head looked familiar," grunted Mammoth with a blink, before pausing, "Wait, you realize I'm a Bigfoot?" He questioned a tad desperately as he got onto his knees, grabbing Dib's shoulder.

"Uh... yeah?" Dib himself just looked startled by this response.

"Finally! I've been telling everyone, but it's either teenager with too much body hair, or mutant gorilla!" Mammoth exclaimed, eye twitching slightly.

"Mutant gorilla?" Dib repeated incredulously.

"I know, right?!" Mammoth yelled, gesturing to himself, "What part of any of this says gorilla?!"

"Maybe it's the smell," Gaz said dryly, while rolling her eyes again. Great, now there was something else here for Dib to freak out over.

 "Hey, you try getting decent plumbing in the woods," Mammoth called back defensively, "It's a miracle that the electricians and cable guys I threaten managed to hook me up with a TV," he added with a scowl, "But seriously, it seemed like that orange alien girl was the only around who could realize I'm a Sasquatch."

 Dib was about to ask how a Sasquatch could get electricity and cable set up in the middle of the woods, when he froze as his brain caught on to what Mammoth had just said.

"Wait... what orange alien girl?!" he demanded, mind immediately going to Starfire.

"Some flying orange girl with red hair who could throw energy blasts around," Mammoth replied with a casual shrug, "Met her and her annoying green dog a while back. Still owe them for that ice cream, come to think of it..."

 "Annoying... green.... dog?" Dib repeated, his eyes twitching at this and at the description of the girl. He only knew one green "dog" which wasn't a dog at all... but this would mean...

"Oh, that lying slimy little... ZIM!" He exclaimed in frustration, realizing that Starfire had never left the city, much less the planet! She was still with Zim! Which meant Zim had a superpowered alien warrior on his side! And for all these weeks, she'd been infiltrating Earth on Zim's behalf, no doubt helping him plot how to conquer the planet. And that whole time, Dib had been falling for that green bastard's bold-faced lies!

"You yelled, Dib-Stink?"

And speak of the devil, Dib thought as he spun around to see Zim nearby, smirking smugly as he stood by the Robo-Parents and Starfire, who was in her everyday purple two-piece outfit, and her "disguise" of a ponytail and glasses. For her part, while Dib was glaring at her and Zim, Starfire blinked and stared at Mammoth.

"Why are you here?" she asked him.

"Blame this undead idiot," Mammoth grunted, gesturing to Grundy.

 "Hello, orange girl, Grundy happy to see one of Grundy's favorite students," Grundy said with a wave of his hand and a smile.

"I'm a favorite?' Starfire asked with a blink.

"Yes, you keep in shape, inspire others to be better," Grundy said with a grunt.

"Not how I'd put it," spoke another voice familiar to Starfire, causing to turn her head toward another approaching figure holding a cup of punch.

"Like this night wasn't going to be annoying as is," said the form of Kitten with a scowl.

"Why are you here?" Starfire asked with her own scowl, not happy to see the blonde outside of their own school.

"My sister's a student here too, remember?" Kitten scoffed, gesturing to where a younger blonde girl was getting some punch as well from the refreshment table, "Our parents forced me to come to this stupid thing for 'family unity' or some stupid reason like that."

 "I see nothing wrong with family unity," Starfire said, giving Kitten a glare, "The chance to spend time with your sister is a joyous one, after all."

Oh, what she wouldn't give to spend time with her own sister, she thought with a sigh while Kitten rolled her eyes.

"Right, because 'joyous' is the word to use for this snore-fest," she sneered, "I know you're a freak, but I'd have at least thought you had a sense of actual fun, weirdo."

Starfire scowled at the blonde for that, while Zim did likewise for the insult to his General. Dib, meanwhile, looked around in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? Does no one here notice that we have two aliens and a Sasquatch standing right here?!" he exclaimed. At this, all eyes in the room turned to the group, with Zim nervously sweating.

"Um... ignore the large-headed Dib! I and my family are clearly normal Earth human worm-babies like everyone else!" he declared with a large grin.

"Um, yes... I am no alien from outer space," Starfire chimed in with her own forced grin.

"I'm really a Bigfoot, though," Mammoth chimed in with a scowl.

 That got blinks as everyone looked at him in confusion, before Kitten gave an annoyed sigh.

"Ignore the hairy freak, it's just a thing he's doing to try and get out of school," she said, everyone nodding in acceptance of that.

"That tracks."

"Kids today will do anything to get out of school."

"Yeah, my own son said he needed to get a rabies shot because a green dog bit him, heh can you imagine~"

"Oh come on!" Was the shared tandem cry of Mammoth and Dib as people turned away, focusing back to their previous conversations, causing Zim to let out a laugh.

"Hehehe, you see Dib-Stink~ Everyone knows you speak nothing but crazy nonsense," the disguised alien said, giving a scoff, "Big feet and aliens, nothing but fairy tales~" He added with a taunting smirk as Dib glared.

"I really hate you," he growled, before turning his glare at Starfire, "And you! I should have known that you were plotting with him the whole time!"

"I was not doing the plotting when we first met," Starfire admitted with a shrug, "However, I realized that I owe Zim for saving me from Trogaar, so I shall repay my debt by helping him complete his mission on this planet."

 "Not if I can help it!" Dib declared glaring defiantly.

"Right, because you can do so much against the two of them," Gaz said dryly.

"Whose side on you on?" Dib asked his sister incredulously.

"Mine. You think I'm stupid enough to get involved directly in this nonsense?" Gaz grunted back at him.

 "But they're planning to destroy us all! Am I the only one who can see that!" Dib exclaimed out

"Meh, he doesn't seem like he could actually pull it off," Gaz said with a shrug, which immediately wiped the smug look off of Zim's face.

"How dare you, Dib-Sister?! Zim is perfectly capable of destroying Earth!" Zim proclaimed, only to cough as he noticed people still looking at him, "I mean, that's what Zim would say if he wasn't a perfectly normal human worm-baby, which I am."

 "Starting to see why you hang out with him," Kitten spoke up, sending Starfire a dry look, "You both are freaks.."

 "And you are an irritating nakkur feyla," Starfire spat, glaring at the blonde, who glared back at her.

"I don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure you just gave me another reason to hate your freak ass," Kitten snarled.

 "As if I care for the opinion of the brat of the spoiled," Starfire said with a huff.

 She and Kitten glared at each other, onlookers almost able to swear that there were angry sparks shooting between their eyes.

"...I'm starting to wish I'd brought some popcorn~" Gaz said with a smirk as she and the others looked on at the two arguing girls.

 "Yes, this is oddly captivating..." Zim agreed, finding his General arguing with the Earth monkey who had a rather annoying voice, and displaying her clear superiority between them, oddly alluring.

"What's your game, Zim?"

Before scowling as an even more annoying voice reached his antennae.

"Game? Zim has no idea what you mean," Zim put on an expression of faux innocence, "Zim is simply here to enjoy a night with his family."

 "You mean those shoddy robots?" Dib scoffed, gesturing to the Robo-Parents, which were twitching slightly with sparks of electricity, "You can't except those to fool anybody!"

"You might need better proof than that, Dib," Gaz said, rolling her eyes, "After all, Gizmo was raised by robot parents too, remember?"

"Yeah, but he's not pretending those things are human," Dib commented, looking to the other side of the room, where a short bald child in a dark green jumpsuit and goggles was leaning bored against a wall, flanked by two bulky vaguely-humanoid robots with computer screens for heads, which were depicting generic male and female faces.

This comment caught both Zim and Starfire's attention, the former blinking in surprise, while the latter turned her attention away from Kitten (much to her annoyance at being ignore).

"The young one was raised by robots?" she questioned with surprise and confusion, as humans being raised by robots certainly never came up in either her or Zim's research on human family units. If it had, then they might have been honest about the decoys being robots.

"Yeah, apparently someone in the city government decided that the orphanages and foster homes were too overcrowded, so they authorized the creation of parental robots to take care of the kids not getting adopted," Gaz explained with a shrug.

"I see," Zim commented in annoyance. After all, while his Robo-Parents were perfect decoys (after all, they were made by Zim!), it would have simplified matters if he'd known that he could just admit that they were robots! Now, changing his cover story would not only be a sign of weakness (and Zim was not weak!) but it could risk making the pig-smelly humans suspicious, and unravel the rest of his brilliant cover! Especially with the Dib-Stink waiting to exploit any opportunity to expose Zim's glorious true self to the inferior human warm-babies.

"Well, I for one am glad to have the joy of being raised by two normal flesh and blood human Earth-Monkeys," Zim added on with a forced grin and slight twitching eye, "It really makes Zim appreciate, um... family, yes, the family that Zim has."

The Irken said with a cough, "Now if you excuse Zim, he must mingle with the Earth-Monkeys along with his normal human parents and his Gen... ahh, Starfire!" he said, stumbling a bit and almost calling Starfire his General.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I suppose we should be doing the circling of the room," Starfire said, turning her back on Kitten to follow Zim, something that the blonde clearly didn't like.

"Hey! Don't turn your back on me, you freak, I'm not done talking to you!" she snapped.

"Perhaps, but I am done speaking to you. I have more important matters to see to," Starfire huffed over her shoulder, not dignifying the brat of the spoiled with a full look.

"I... you... you..." Kitten let out a low angry growl, "Oh, this isn't over bitch!" she said with a slight snarl, before smirking, "After all, if you're really hanging out with a freak like that, then this just might be what I need to bring you down at HIVE~"

She added, rubbing her hands together with a scheming look.

"You know we can all hear you, right?" Before scowling as Mammoth spoke up, with her glancing toward him, Grundy, Dib, and Gaz, "And pretty sure talking to yourself is one of the first signs of someone going crazy." Mammoth added with a smirk, with Kitten giving him a glare.

"Like I care about the opinion of an overgrown hairy toddler," Kitten said with a huff, causing Mammoth to frown as he pulled at the child leash he was attached to, "Now, if you freaks and weirdos will excuse me, someone who's actually popular, important, and pretty has a pecking order to establish, and some humiliation to dish out."

She added as she walked off with an arrogant sneer.

"Well, she's certainly Jessica's sister," Dib said dryly, his mind going to his popular classmate and her attitude before shaking his head, "But this isn't good!" He said with a stressed out expression, "I thought Zim alone was a bad enough threat to Earth, with Starfire on his side, he's got some actual competent dangerous muscle to back him up!"

He gave a frustrated groan at this. And he was still working on making something to help him in a fight with that staff and all the other pieces of alien technology he'd managed to scavenge from that blown up Gordanian ship.

And he was so glad he'd reported everything that happened to the Swollen Eyeball Network, since other people were also scavenging without realizing what they were dealing with, and that had already been leading to some chaos. Nothing too serious, like people going on intentional destructive rampages or something like that. But the fact was that people were picking up pieces of advanced alien technology just because they thought looked cool, without realizing how dangerous they were, and accidentally using them. Dib had been hearing stories for weeks of people blowing things up, or setting people on fire, or even activating jetpacks that sent them flying into buildings!

Why Gordanians would have jetpacks when they could fly under their own power, Dib had no idea, but there were at least five of the things that had popped up in the city so far.

In any case, Dib had gotten his hands on some other pieces of tech himself, aside from that staff. But it was taking so long to reverse-engineer them and figure out how to use them that none of it was useful to him yet. And admittedly, he'd been putting it on the back burner a bit, focusing his efforts in counteracting Zim's plans or exposing him, believing that without Starfire in the equation, he could maybe handle this particular egomaniac of an alien invader, and he hadn't been doing too bad so far.

That had to change after tonight, though; he had to redouble his efforts to reverse-engineer something he could use, especially if Zim used Starfire in whatever scheme he cooked up next. Because being honest, he didn't like his chances of taking Starfire alone in a fight without some kinda edge.

Though at that that thought, his eyes went over to Grundy and Mammoth. He knew his reanimated "brother" was strong... but asking for help there would probably lead to him telling Dad, he thought, his eyes going to the floating screen floating over Grundy's head, which was supposed to have his dad on there live from his lab, but he hadn't signed in yet. And besides that factor, Grundy, who believed everything their dad said as a fact of life, thought aliens were just silly fairy tales.

While the Bigfoot... hmmm, maybe.

"Hey, Bigfoot..." Dib looked toward Mammoth, who looked annoyed but shot him a curious look.

"Name's Mammoth," he said, crossing his arms.

"Mammoth... don't suppose you'd be interested in helping me fight against an alien invasion?" Dib questioned with a frown, because Bigfoot or not, at least Mammoth was a native to Earth, and if that tackle he took last time during the belt sander incident was any indication, he was pretty strong too.

"Hehe, Grundy's little brother still being silly~ Aliens don't exist~" And at his question, Grundy beside Mammoth let out a laugh.

"Did you not see just see the orange girl and weird green kid who were here a minute ago?" Mammoth asked, looking to the zombie in disbelief.

"Orange girl just really tan. And green boy have skin condition," Grundy replied with a shrug.

"A skin condition that makes him not have ears or a nose?" Mammoth said incredulously, while Dib just sighed.

"Why is it that the only person who notices how obviously bad Zim's disguise is happens to be a Bigfoot?" he muttered in annoyance.

 "I'm personally wondering when every human got so dumb," Mammoth said with a frustrated groan, rubbing his face, "Skin condition, tan, calling me hairy teenager or gorilla... what is wrong with everyone?"

 "I personally blame all the pollution in the air and drinking water rotting everyone's brains," Gaz commented with a shrug, before turning and walking away.

"Wait, where are you going?" Dib called after her.

"I've had about enough of this nonsense for one night," Gaz replied, "If you want to waste our time here trying to expose that green idiot and his orange girlfriend, go ahead. I'll stick to the snack table and watch everyone's parents embarrass them."

 Though the moment she said that, the floating screen above them activated.

"I'm here, children, sorry about the delay, had a slight incident with an escaped lab mouse," spoke the form of Professor Membrane on the monitor, "Turns out that injecting them with that new muscle enhancement formula I've been working on had some side effects."

 "It broke all my bones!" a voice called out in pain from somewhere behind the Professor.

"Just let the Auto-Doctor patch you up, Simmons, you'll be walking again in less than a month!" the Professor shouted back, before returning his attention to his children, "So, shall we begin this mandatory meeting with your teachers about your education?"

Gaz groaned; she'd actually been hoping her dad wouldn't check in, so she could avoid having him interact with her teacher. Not that she was in trouble or anything, she just found her dad's obliviousness and Mr. Elliot's cheerfulness to be an annoying combination.

 "Hey Gaz..." And what's worse-

"Ah, look Gaz, it's your little boyfriend."

-was that instead of enjoying other kids being embarrassed by their parents, she got to take part.

"For the last time, he's my friend, not my boyfriend," Gaz grunted as Gizmo approached with his robotic parents.

"Yeah, obviously I'm too cool for her~" Gizmo chuckled, making her Gaz roll her eyes.

"Right, you're so cool that's why you don't have any other friends," she scoffed.

"Could say the same about you," Gizmo retorted.

"Yeah, but that's just because everyone's too intimidated by me."

 And as the byplay continued, Dib not for the first time gave the two a confused look. Even now, it still amazed and confused him that Gaz actually did have one friend. Granted, a friend raised by robots, and one he could easily see growing up to be some kinda mad scientist or supervillain with some of the stunts he's pulled, but a friend nonetheless. And sure, their friendship was mostly just based on video games and snark, the things that Gaz excelled at and would enjoy finding a match at. But still, he'd long since accepted that his sister was pretty misanthropic, so the idea of her forming a bond with anyone was just shocking.

As Dib pondered this, and Gaz bantered with Gizmo, Professor Membrane finally noticed Grundy's presence.

"Oh, hello Grundy, thank you for making it," he greeted, before noticing Mammoth as well, "Who's this?"

"Hello, Daddy! This is hairy boy from HIVE that Grundy is watching for Headmaster," Grundy greeted and explained.

"Hmm, you seem to have quite the hormone imbalance, young man," the Professor said, looking Mammoth over, "I can help you with that, if you'd like."

"No, because it's not hormones, I'm a Bigfoot!" Mammoth snapped, eye twitching as the world's so-called smartest man also somehow mistook him for a hairy teenager.

"My, what an active imagination," the Professor chuckled, "I suppose next you'll say that you're the one Dib saw in our garage?"

"He is!" Dib exclaimed, head snapping around as he registered his father and the Sasquatch speaking with each other, "He tackled me like a pro football player, I had to wear a neck cast for like a week!" He added on, with Mammoth giving a frown.

"Hey, I did give you a chance to get out of the way, not my fault you had to be a moron," he grunted, with Dib sending him a glare for that comment while Membrane simply chuckled.

"Ah, kids with their roughhousing and their overactive imaginations~" the Professor said, shaking his head, "But as wonderful as it is to see you making friends, Dib, I would like to know more about your education, and standing with peers your own age," He remarked, before the monitor turned and floated off toward the direction of Miss Bitters.

"But... but..." Dib stammered as Mammoth sighed.

"Forget it... as much as I'd like everyone to accept me for the Bigfoot I am... it's just not worth the headache tonight," he said with a grunt, "And to answer your earlier question, unless there's something in it for me, i've got no interest playing rebel against some space freaks."

"Seriously?" Dib asked with a scowl, "I know you're not human, but you're still a person of Earth! Shouldn't you care that some aliens are trying to conquer it?"

"Eh, they can't do a worse job of things than you humans have been doing," Mammoth replied with a shrug, "I mean, the fact the ones in charge are morons or power hungry loons aside, you jerks have polluted nature so much, most animals you find are mutated in one form or another. I mean, do you have any idea what it's like when a moose with razor sharp teeth and green glowing eyes wakes you up in the middle of trying to eat you!? It ain't pleasant!"

Dib blinked at that statement, not sure how to respond to it, before being snapped out of it as Gaz slapped him upside the back of the head.

"Hey moron, let's go," she ordered, before reluctantly following after her father, Gizmo and his robot parents following for lack of anything else to do.

"This is going to be a long night..." Dib gave a low sigh, already knowing he had to be on guard and ready to jump at any chance to expose Zim and his girlfriend.

 (Elsewhere in the room)

As the students, their parents, and the teachers mingled, Brian and Chunk stood together in one corner.

"So, how long you figure until someone makes some kinda scene?" Brian asked his friend.

"I dunno, usually someone ends up freaking out over their embarrassing parents or someone's parents get mad at them for bad reviews from a teacher," Chunk shrugged, before snorting, "Plus, you just know that Zim and Dib will probably get into a screaming match or something."

 "Yeah, honestly if Zim wasn't such a freaky weirdo, I'd almost feel sorry for however much Dib is harassing him," Brian said with an eye roll.

"Yeah, honestly at this point I'm wondering if the weirdos have a crush on each other," Chunk jabbed, giving a laugh.

"Urg... don't even joke. Nothing against that kinda thing... but Zim and Dib... urg," Brian just gave him a sickened expression.

"Hehe, well not like anyone else will give those crazies the time of day~" Chunk said with a smirk, before his eyes caught a figure across the room, and his jaw dropped.

"Dude... dude?" Brian looked confused, before looking across the room and his eyes widened, and he asked in awe, "Who... is... that?"

"I don't know... but that has to be the hottest girl I've ever seen," Chunk said with a similar tone.

Both of them were staring at Starfire, who was walking through the room and looking around curiously. And as far as both boys could see things, it was like she was moving in slow motion, backlit and with sparkles surrounding her.

"You think we should... go say hi?" Brian asked nervously.

"Yeah... you know... just to be friendly," Chunk said, brushing his hair back and brushing nonexistent dust off his shirt, before giving his best confidant grin, "Just let me take the lead."

"You? Why not me?" Brian asked with a frown.

"Because I got you beat in both confidence and muscles," Chunk said with a smug smirk to his friend. Brian scowled at that, but also knew that now wasn't the time to argue about it.

"Fine, whatever," he said, gesturing for Chunk to lead the way, following after him as they walked towards Starfire.

"I must admit... this room for feasting is much more dirty than the one at the HIVE," Starfire remarked to herself, giving a frown as she saw what seemed like a smaller version of the Slaughtering Rat People of Blorch scurrying along the ground, "And the presence of the Gordanian does not help."

She added with a wary distrustful glare toward the corner of the room, where Stuart the Gordanian janitor was mopping up some vomit from a child that had gotten sick. He paused and looked up in her direction as he sensed her looking at him. He gave a nervous smile and wave, only to flinch when she glared at him, and quickly went back to work.

Oh, she wanted to go over there and kick him off the planet, but she didn't want to risk exposing Zim, so she swallowed her anger and decided to ignore the foul noodar. Perhaps it would help if she found something else to focus on... but before she could wonder what, Chunk approached from behind and addressed her.

"Hey beautiful, did it hurt?"

Prompting a confused blink and look from Starfire as she turned to see Chunk shooting a cocky smirk and finger guns.

"When you fell from Heaven, I mean," he said in what he believed was a smooth tone, while Brian standing a few feet behind him facepalmed.

Seriously, that's his opener? One of the oldest cliched lines in flirting! Brian thought in disbelief, shaking his head.

 For her part, Starfire just stared at the boy who had just addressed her such. Why would he ask her that? Wait, fell from the heavens...? Oh no, did he know that she was not human?!

"Aha, I do not know what you mean!" she said quickly with a nervous laugh, "I did not fall out of the sky, for I am most certainly not a being from another world!"

 This comment prompted strange looks from Brian and Chunk, before the latter let out a laugh.

"Heh, yeah, that'd just be crazy," He said with a smirk, but arching a brow, "Though don't tell me you've met Dib, and big head's accusing you of being an alien because of your tan."

He punched a fist into his palm, "Because if he is, I'll gladly sort him out for a pretty thing like you."

 "Oh, that is not necessary, I am fully capable of handling that zor'duni on my own," Starfire replied offhandedly, the boys blinking in confusion at the foreign word.

"Zor what now?" Brian asked Chunk, who just shrugged.

"Er, okay, glad to hear that," the larger boy said, before putting his attempted suave look back on, "Anyway, what brings a lovely beauty like you to a dump like this?"

 "Oh, I am attending with Zim and his parents," Starfire said, giving a smile as she used the cover story, unknowingly sending Brian and Chunk into shock.

"ZIM?!" They exclaimed in shock.

"How the heck does someone like you, know someone like Zim?!" Brian questioned with shock, stepping into the conversation as he stepped up beside his friend, attracting a surprised blink from Starfire.

"You cousins or something?" Chunk questioned a bit desperately, because there was no other reason a babe like this would be hanging out with that crazy green weirdo... right? He thought, clinging to that desperate hope, unaware that some of the eyes and ears in the lunchroom were turning to their conversation after he and Brian had yelled out Zim's name.

"I owe him a life debt, that as such my life is his now..." Starfire responded with a frown.

"Your life is... his?" Chunk repeated incredulously, looking at each other in disbelief as they both interpreted that wording in the same way.

"So, you two are... together?" Brian asked, unable to believe that Zim could possibly be dating a girl this hot!

"Um, yes..." Starfire said with a blink, misunderstanding the meaning of the question, but yes, Zim and her were living and working together, "His family is even hosting me as I stay here in Doomsville, away from my native land of Tamaran."

"Oh, that's so not fair," Brian whined, he and Chunk slumping in despair.

"Why would you even want to be with that weirdo?" Chunk demanded, looking at Starfire desperately, causing her to scowl.

"Zim is no weirdo! He is a passionate warrior!" Starfire found herself retorting defensively, finding herself feeling quite upset at Zim's behalf for all those that kept insulting him, especially after realizing what a lonely life he likely lead as part of the Irken Empire.

For their part, the boys only heard the word "passionate", and both grimaced at the images that popped into their heads. Before they could react, however, another voice cut in.

"Yes, Zim is indeed mighty!" Zim declared smugly as he stomped over, before glaring at his classmates, "Are these two bothering you?"

 "Oh, not at all my mighty Zar'pyak," Starfire smiled at Zim's presence, with Brian and Chunk choking on their spit, "I was simply getting to know your mates of the school," she said as Zim gave a hum.

"Well, as long as you aren't being bothered too much by your inferiors, Zim supposes it's okay," the Irken muttered in thought, since Starfire gaining the trust of some of the Earth-smelly smeets could be useful; he'd had his own fill with cultivating human interaction after Keef, and he had to be on guard with Dib around as is, so attempting to obtain another human pawn through "friendship" would only give the big-headed annoyance an opening to exploit. But using his General's natural charisma to make the Earth-Monkeys flock to her without having to bother dealing with them himself, he could manipulate them all through his General, it's brilliant!

 "Ah, yeah, we were just getting to know your... friend," Chunk muttered angrily, glaring at the ridiculously-lucky green bean, who just glared back at him for daring to look at him like that.

Sensing the tension rising, Brian decided to defuse it before anyone started a fight and got them sent to detention.

"So! How did you two meet?" he asked quickly, getting everyone's attention. Zim, however, didn't notice as he gave a smug smile, eager to share tales of his amazing Zimness!

"Oh, it was quite an adventure, that had Zim going to the Tamaran Islands and saving Zim's, uh..." he stumbled, knowing that he couldn't call Starfire a General... perhaps referring to her great skill as a combatant would attract less notice, "Mighty warrior... from a fearsome lizard beast," he said with a slight cough.

"Lizard beast?" Chunk sneered, "That sounds like something Dib would make up."

"I assure you, the beast was quite real, and commanded a horde of other such disgusting beasts," Starfire said, adding the last bit with a glare in Stuart's direction as he walked by, causing the Gordanian to flinch.

"Disgusting's kinda harsh..." Stuart muttered with an actual hurt expression, though nervously stepped back, internally hoping the Tamaranean wouldn't decide to attack him. It was bad enough the Irken had decided to surprise attack him in the janitor closet, demanding that he spill his guts to Zim, which had certainly been traumatizing to say the least... especially since he hadn't been entirely sure that the Irken wasn't being literal about that, he thought with a shudder as he walked away.

Starfire watched him go for a moment, before scoffing and turning back to the confused Brian and Chunk.

"In any case, as said, I was attacked by such a beast, and Zim nobly saved me," she said, giving Zim a smile that made his face feel warm for some reason.

"Yes, the lizard and all the slime beasts that followed it was no match before Zim!" Zim proclaimed with a large grin, feeling quite happy to share this tale of his victory, even leaving out his full glory to keep his cover, as well as Starfire's open gratitude and smile in turn making Zim feel good... probably because she in turn is basking in Zim's presence, he reasoned as Starfire added in, "And following that, my life became his."

"That's... great," Brian grumbled, the way that these two were looking at each other making it clear how they felt about each other (not realizing that neither of the pair in question realized how they were staring longingly at each other), which he was not happy about.

"Yeah, great," Chunk muttered in the same tone, suddenly wanting to end this conversation, "Well, we wanted to say hi and we did, so... I guess we'll just go be somewhere else now."

"Eh, yes, yes go off and do whatever it is you, um, do, my classmates," Zim blinked and shook his head, "There will be other opportunities to bask in Zim's greatness, and hear tales of his grand deeds," he said with a smug smirk as Starfire let out a giggle.

"Right... come on, Brian," Chunk said, leading his friend away from the couple. Once they were out of earshot, he scowled and spat, "Can you believe this crap?!"

"I know, right?" Brian exclaimed in disbelief, "Never mind the idea of Zim dating a girl that hot, but that almost sounded like they're engaged or something!"

"Must be some weird foreign thing where they arrange marriages years in advance or something," Chunk grumbled.

"If that's true, it's probably because Zim apparently saved her life," Brian said with a frown, before adding with a grumble as he kicked at the ground, "Some guys get all the luck."

"He probably just got lucky!" Chunk denied, unknowingly getting the attention of some of those nearby, "If it'd had been me, I'd have turned that lizard into a pair of boots and have that babe all over me."

"Instead, she's engaged to Zim," Brian said with disbelief in his voice.

"Excuse me? Who's engaged to the freaky weirdo?!" Demanded a voice to the side, causing them to turn to see their classmate Jessica standing beside her older sister, with even some of the other students and parents paying attention.

"That hot as hell orange babe," Chunk explained with a grumble, gesturing to where Zim and Starfire were observing the Robo-Parents' interactions with the other parents.

"What?!" Kitten exclaimed, as her sister and the rest of the crowd all blinked in surprise, "I knew that weirdo was acting weird with how highly she talked about that freak, but seriously?!"

"Apparently Zim saved her life from some lizard beast, and looks like he got one hell of a reward for it." Brian added with a jealous frown.

"Lizard beast? That sounds like something Dib would say," Jessica sneered.

"That's what I said," Chunk grumbled, shaking his head, "But she confirmed it, and I don't know why they'd bother to make it up, so I guess it's real."

"Well, this Tamaran place sounds like some exotic island place," Brian said with a frown, "So I suppose some dangerous exotic animals existing there isn't a stretch."

"Yeah, I've heard Australia has spiders as big as people's heads," said Jessica's friend Letty.

"Okay, but all that aside... engaged?!" Kitten yelled, "Even if whatever backward rock she's from allows teen marriages, that green freak is what, 12? How could they think that's okay?!"

"I mean, to be fair, just because they're engaged doesn't mean they're actually planning to get married anytime soon," another student, Aki, pointed out.

"Yeah, and we should be considerate to another people's culture," Alex said next to her, nodding with her own thoughtful frown.

"Plus, look at her," Carl gestured across the room toward Starfire, who was giggling at something Zim said, "Zim would have to be crazier than Dib, to turn down a girl like that as a wife!"

All the guys present nodded in agreement at that, smiling dumbly at the sight of Starfire, which made all the girls scowl. Especially Kitten, who glared at her rival.

"She's not that pretty," she spat.

"Yes she is, that's why this isn't fair at all," Brian grumbled, "I mean, what next? Is Dib going to start dating a supermodel?"

There was a moment of silence at that, and then everyone present burst out laughing at the mere suggestion.

"Pfff, oooh man, that's a good one!" Torque cried out, holding his sides.

"Heheh, yeah, like Dib would get that lucky!" Jessica said amidst her own laughter.

"Hehehe, yeah, who'd be that desperate?!" Aki added, laughing madly.

"Hehehe, if it had been him instead of Zim, Starfire would have probably jumped into that lizard's mouth~" Chunk added with his own laugh, wiping a tear from his eye, because Zim was one thing, but Dib?! Yeah, not happening.

"Heehee, yeah... still, pretty weird, though," Brian said, shooting another look at the couple.

"Ugh, yeah it is," Jessica said, shaking her head, "Everyone want to just pretend we don't know this about them so that we don't have to think about it?"

There was a general consensus of "yes" from everyone at that.

"You can ignore it if you want, but once I spread this gossip across HIVE, that upstart will finally be put in her place!" Kitten said with a dark smirk.

 Everyone gave her confused looks at that, except for Jessica, who just sighed.

"You really need to let this go, sis," she said, shaking her head, "Honestly, it sounds like you trying to knock her down a peg is causing you more trouble than it's doing you any good."

 "Forget it," Kitten shot her sister an annoyed glare, "I'm not giving up, or letting that freak walk in and take my rightful spot as the prettiest and most popular girl in school!"

"Don't most of the other students hate you, though?" Jessica pointed out.

"That's just because they're all jealous of how much better I am than them!" Kitten snapped.

"Ask me, they're not the jealous ones here," Brian said to Chunk in a low mutter as his friend let out a chuckle.

"What was that, you brats?!" Demanded Kitten with a glower.

"I said, uh... hey look, Dib's going over to Zim!" Brian said quickly, pointing over to where Dib was indeed leading his father's vid-screen towards Zim and Starfire, with the rest of his group (including the tag-along Gizmo and his robot parents) reluctantly following behind.

"Oh boy, we get to watch Big Head embarrass himself again!" Chunk said, in part honestly excited for the humor of the situation, but mostly just trying to distract Kitten.

"Urg, you think he'd give it a break," Jessica said with a scowl.

"You kidding? He's like a dog with a guitar, he just doesn't quit," Torque said with a nod.

"Yeah, he's like... wait, what?" Jessica and the others gave Torque a strange look at that comparison.

"Saw a green dog playing guitar at the music store the other day," And at their looks he just shrugged, "Little guy could certainly rock out."

Everyone just stared at him for a moment, before all quietly agreeing to ignore him, turning back to Zim and Starfire just as Dib reached them.

"Hey Dad, this is Zim. You know, the alien invader I told you about?" Dib said, sneering at Zim, who glared back at him, before pointing to Starfire, "And this is Starfire, the other alien who's working with him!"

"And what country are the little green boy and very tanned girl from?" Only to have his face fall at his dad's reply as the monitor floated over.

"I am from the Tamaran islands, and Zim is from Irk," Starfire answered with a smile.

"Oh come on, there's no place on Earth with those names," Dib snapped.

"They exist! Only the map keeps changing so much in the region of the planet you can find Irk, it doesn't get its proper glory and recognition," Zim snapped back, glaring.

"As for Tamaran..." Zim glanced over to Starfire, who let out a sigh, "I'm afraid many view my people as savages, and our homeland not worth the effort of putting on the map."

She said with a huff, while channeling her genuine outrage to how so many in the universe view her race as troqs.

Dib blinked at that, not sure how to respond to that, while behind him Gaz arched an eyebrow, impressed that Zim had actually come up with a passable cover story. Huh, the orange chick might actually be having a noticeable effect on him after all.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that," Professor Membrane said compassionately with a nod of his head, "I hope that you've at least adjusted well to life here in America."

"Oh yes, it is most wonderful here... for the most part," Starfire replied, briefly thinking of the many unpleasant things she'd witnessed since arriving on Earth.

"Though I must admit i am most confused about Professor Mod's lessons toward the country," Starfire said with a frown, "I understand that the British Empire is the superior because they have a ruling family, but if life was so great under their rule why did the America colonies do the rebelling?"

"Sounds like personal nationalist bias to me," the Professor shrugged, while everyone else just stared as they processed what Starfire had just said.

"What kind of crazy teachers do you have at that school?" Gizmo asked in disbelief.

"You have no idea," Mammoth grumbled, shooting a glare at Grundy, who didn't seem to notice, before adding with a grunt, "I mean, I'm pretty sure that Crane creep's been using some of the students as lab rats for that fear formula he keeps yapping about."

"Oh, don't tell me that man still hasn't let that go," groaned Professor Membrane, rubbing his face, "Honestly, you make one joke about how he should consider becoming a therapist over a scientist because of his obsession with fear, and next thing you know your college roommate goes on a crazy rant about how I'll rue the day I mocked his work, and that all will experience the power of fear."

"Yes, that does sound like him," Starfire nodded sagely, while Zim made a mental note of the phrase "fear formula"; that could be something to pursue for use against the humans.

"To be fair, it's not like HIVE's the only place with weird teachers," Gaz commented, gesturing to where Miss Bitters was ranting to a group of adults about how they'd all grown up to be useless wastes of flesh and their children would be too, "I hear rumors that they didn't hire her, she's always been here and they just built the Skool around her."

"Grundy think teacher lady scary," Grundy said, giving a shiver as he glanced over at Bitters.

"You and everyone else," Dib muttered, giving his teacher a wary look. Part of him still wasn't sure if Bitters was just a VERY cranky old lady, or some inhuman abomination... and honestly this was one particular mystery he was afraid to learn the answer to, never mind expose.

 "Eh, she's not that bad," Gaz shrugged.

"Of course you'd say that," Gizmo scoffed, "She's basically what you'll be like in a few decades."

"You say that like it's a bad thing~" Gaz replied with a smirk, which caused Gizmo to flush and give a slight smile as he looked away, with Mammoth arching a brow before giving a snort; kids and their crushes.

 Before anyone could say anything else, there was a sudden THUD as the doors to the cafeteria were dramatically kicked open. Everyone turned to face them, and found Bill standing there, leg still raised from the kick, and Zita standing next to him, facepalming in embarrassment.

"Hi, sorry we're late," she said into the awkward silence that followed, "My mom had to cancel at the last minute because of something at work, and got my uncle here to fill in for her, so... yay for me."

As Zita grumbled to herself at that, Bill scanned the room on instinct, and froze as he spotted Starfire and Mammoth, who likewise froze at the sight of him.

"You!" he exclaimed.

"You?!" Starfire repeated in disbelief.

"Oh, not this nutjob again!" Mammoth groaned, facepalming.

"You know this guy?" Gizmo asked, looking curiously at him.

"Weirdo kept calling me a mutant gorilla minion of Count Cocofang," Mammoth said with a grunt as Starfire nodded, while those around them blinked.

"He was most rude," she said with a frown, recalling how he called the sewer children ugly mole people.

"I see that the alien menace and the gorilla beast are targeting my niece's school now!" declared Bill dramatically with a scowl as he kept his finger pointed at them.

"Wait? You know they're aliens?!" Dib exclaimed with a hopeful wide grin that caused Zita to groan in despair at her greatest nightmare of her uncle and Dib meeting coming true.

"Uncle Bill, please, you promised you wouldn't embarrass me!" She pleaded towards Bill, desperately hoping to salvage her reputation.

"How am I embarrassing you by revealing the monsters who are trying to conquer the world through their cereal conspiracy?" Bill asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"...Cereal conspiracy?" Dib echoed, his hope at this turn of events suddenly taking a downturn.

"Yes, the mind-control cereal that that undead menace Count Cocofang uses to brainwash everyone into his obedient slaves," Bill replied in all seriousness, leading to a long, awkward moment of silence. Finally, it was broken by a snort from Gaz.

"If Miss Bitters is what I'll be as an adult, this guy is you~" she said teasingly to Dib, who looked very crestfallen.

"I... you... you can't be serious," Dib stuttered in disbelief, with Zita unsure to whether be relieved or mortified that even Dib thought her uncle was crazy, "I... can you at least see the alien right here?! Right in front of you?!"

Dib asked, gesturing toward Zim, who suddenly looked a bit worried, because cereal conspiracy craziness or not... Dib would take whatever he could get to expose Zim!

"Of course I see her," Bill said, glaring at Starfire, "She may have that ingenious disguise on, but I've seen her without it, so it won't fool me again!"

"Ingenious disguise?! She's wearing glasses and a different hairdo!" Dib protested, "And I didn't even mean her, I meant Zim! You know, the guy with green skin?!"

"Yes, clearly a result of all the fluoride that the government's been flooding into our drinking water to dull our minds so that we won't realize how they've sold us out to Cocofang in exchange for chocolate-coated immortality," Bill said, nodding sagely, while Zita just groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"...I think I can feel my IQ dropping just listening to this guy," Gizmo said flatly, while Dib's jaw dropped and one of his eyes started twitching.

"I... you... you... can't be serious!" Dib exclaimed in frustration, "Zim's an alien! It isn't a skin condition or a side effect of fluoride in drinking water! He's an alien here to conquer Earth!" He said, stomping his foot, "Starfire his General! They met after they blew up that alien ship a few weeks ago! The janitor's one too! He was part of that ship's crew!"

 Stuart froze in the middle of removing a trash bag from its can at that, everyone turning to stare at him.

"Who, me?" he asked nervously, "I'm not an alien! I'm just a humble janitor from, uh, Sweden!"

"Sweden, huh? Describe one thing about it!" Dib challenged, glaring at the space lizard.

"Uh, it's... cold?" Stuart offered awkwardly, sighing in relief when the crowd all nodded along.

"Yeah, that tracks."

"I don't think it's ever warm in Sweden."

"Isn't it part of Alaska?"

 "Were humans always this stupid, or did someone drug the water supply recently?" Mammoth asked himself out loud with a slight dumbfounded blink.

"Eh, personally only person I know besides me with brains and common sense is Gaz," Gizmo said with a grunt and a shrug.

 Gaz smirked at that, choosing to focus on the ego-stroking caused by that comment, and not the weird warmth that it caused in her cheeks. It was an annoying feeling that happened a lot around Gizmo, but she didn't want to acknowledge it and what it might mean, so as usual she shoved it aside.

Dib, meanwhile, looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, while Professor Membrane just sighed.

"Ah, my poor insane son," he said, shaking his head. He thought an interest in space would lead to an interest in science, not sci-fi nonsense, and this man claiming of all things a cereal conspiracy was starting to make him very worried for how Dib might turn out in the future.

 "Really, where did I go wrong?" he asked himself as his son started to argue with the older crazy man about the green foreign boy being an alien.

"Not Daddy's fault, Daddy busy with work," Grundy said with a grunt, trying to help his father feel better.

"Hmm... I admit that I've always given the children more free rein with a hands off approach to parenting," the Professor muttered aloud.

"That explains a lot," muttered the form of Chunk's father with a grunt.

"Yeah, my daughter's told me horror stories about Membrane's girl, and everyone knows that the son is destined for the crazy house," said Letty's mother with a huff.

While Gaz scowled at the insult towards her, and Dib continued arguing with Bill, the Professor frowned in thought. Obviously, he knew about the reputation that Dib had made for himself, and it sounded like Gaz wasn't exactly well-adjusted herself... hmm, it did seem like he'd been making some large oversights in his family unit setup.

He'd definitely have to give this some serious consideration, he decided.

"I'm telling you, Zim's an alien! Starfire works for him! Why else would she be hanging out with him?!" Dib exclaimed.

"Apparently according to the rumor mill, they're engaged," Gizmo said with a shrug as Zim, having been listening off to the side watching Dib-Monkey's frustration, suddenly choked and spit out some punch he was distractedly trying.

"W-what?! Who told you that?!" he demanded, face flushing.

"So, it's true?" Gizmo asked, arching a brow.

"Zim did not say that! He just demands to know where you heard such a thing!" Zim yelled, while Starfire just blinked in confusion.

"Apparently Chunk and Brian heard from your girl herself," Gizmo answered with a shrug, "Something about how you saving her from a lizard monster meant her life belongs to you in some kinda tribal engagement tradition or something."

He said, attracting disbelieving looks.

"I... wait..." Dib paused in his argument, with Zita's uncle as he blinked and gave Starfire an incredulous look, "Is that an actual thing for your people?! Are you seriously engaged with Zim?!" He asked in shock, because that sounded like something out of some crazy romance novel.

"Ah, um, well..." Starfire stammered with burning cheeks, starting to catch onto what was being said and what she'd apparently implied, "That is... yes, I'm bound to him as required by honor for saving me, but-"

"See? Engaged," Gizmo cut her off with a shrug, the crowd around them murmuring.

"Egads, it's worse than I thought!" Bill at this information let out a dramatic gasp, "They're trying to seduce and brainwash our youth in an attempt to breed us out!" He yelled dramatically, pointing at Starfire with Zita groaning and facepalming.

"My social life is over," she whimpered as everyone looked at Bill.

"Heh, if aliens are as good looking at that, then they can enslave my planet any time," Chunk whispered to Brian with a smirk. The two of them chuckled crassly at that, making many of those surrounding them roll their eyes. But Bill ignored them all, grabbing Zim by the shoulders.

"Don't worry, young man, I can save you!" he declared, "Just think about corn! Aliens are allergic to it, so thinking of it breaks their control over you!"

"Where are you getting this from?" Dib demanded incredulously, while Zim smacked Bill's hand away.

"Do not touch Zim, worm-baby! You smell like stale coffee and loneliness!" the Irken yelled.

"Yeah... that's my uncle in a nutshell," Zita said with a sigh, looking down at the ground, "Emphasis on nut."

"You have my utmost pity," Gizmo told her bluntly yet genuinely; his parents might be robots, but it was better than being related to a loon.

"If it helps, everybody's got relatives that they're embarrassed by," Mammoth said with a grunt, thinking about his great-uncle Joe and his insistence on running around naked in the woods to "get back to our people's roots". And since he kept getting caught on video while doing it, now the whole world thought Sasquatches were all dumb naked animals! It was beyond embarrassing for everyone! At least cousin Abominable wore a big fluffy coat and had an excuse of being an introvert shy around people, so he never stuck around any hikers that saw him.

 As he was pondering this, Zita took in what he and Gizmo had said, and sighed deeply.

"Thanks, I appreciate that," she said with a genuine smile.

And she really did. With all the embarrassment and the fear of her social life dying before her eyes... it felt good to have at least some support here, she thought with a sigh as she looked back over at her uncle, while hoping this wouldn't escalate into a scene like what happened at that one sci-convention.

 "Enough of this!" Bill pulled out a pair of cuffs, "With my personal designed alien sleeper cuffs-"

Dib blinked and gave a surprised look.

"Wait, you designed those?!" He exclaimed, suddenly a lot less confident they would have worked if he'd gotten those pair on Zim.

 "Yes, I did. And now, I'm going to use them!" Bill declared, leaping at Starfire... who casually stepped aside, letting Bill fly through the empty air where she'd just been standing and into the wall behind her.

"Please do not be doing that," Starfire said flatly as Bill peeled himself off of the wall.

"Urg, that all you got?" He said with a groan, cracking his back as he stood defiantly, glaring at Starfire.

"You are most stubborn," she said with a frown as Bill smirked.

"All part of being an unsung hero," he said, entering a battle stance, "Wherever Cocofang's influence corrupts the innocent..." His shades seemed to gleam in the light, "Wherever the ignorant masses eat their chocolate-coated doom like mindless sheep..."

He pointed dramatically at Starfire, "Wherever alien women from outer space seek to abduct our young men to turn into their love slaves!" Starfire blushed at that while some of the audience choked on their spit, "I will be there protecting the Earth!" He declared defiantly to this menace and his hated enemy Count Cocofang, who he bet was always watching the shadows like the coward he was!

...

...

...

Stunned silence filled the room for several minutes before Zita let out a despairing groan.

"Please kill me..." she pleaded looking up in the air. It was official, her social life was over after tonight.

"Wow... he really is the future you, Dib," Gaz said with a wide smirk of amusement toward Dib, whose eye was twitching.

Was... was this really how other people saw him?! He was trying to prove that aliens and monsters existed so that he could protect people from them! He didn't go around yelling about breakfast food mascots trying to take over the world! If anything, guys like this nutjob were why no one took paranormal investigation seriously! So, needless to say being compared to this loon certainly made Dib frustrated.

"Hey now," But he gave a blink as Zim's so-called mom zoomed over, her neck sparking, "That's no way to talk to my future daughter-in-law," she lectured, twitching a bit, prompting a concerned look from Zim.

"Eh, er... "Mom"? Zim does not believe you should get involved," Zim tried to subtly order (and ignoring the embarrassment caused by the robot's comment). However, he was ignored as she kept talking.

"Someone should teach you some manners, young man!" Robo-Mom declared, pointing a vaguely angry finger in Bill's direction.

"Ma'am, for your son's own good, you need to back off and let me do my job," Bill said with a frown.

"Oh, come on! That is clearly a robot!" Dib yelled, throwing up his hands in exasperation, "How can you tell Starfire's an alien but not see that?!"

"First of all, don't talk to me about that fiendish initiative to brainwash orphans into mindless drones for Cocofang's puppets in the government by having them raised by pieces of junk," Bill said, holding up a finger.

"Hey! My parents are state of the art, you crud muncher! And I'm no one's drone!" Gizmo snapped with an offended look. However, Bill ignored the bald midget.

"Second, just because she has a metallic sheen due to her skin care practices doesn't make them a robot," he stated as if it was obvious, with Dib giving him a frustrated incredulous look.

"Why... why is it that the first person I meet who actually believes in the paranormal... is a totally delusional idiot?" he grumbled, gritting his teeth.

"Because the universe hates you," Gaz stated matter-of-factly.

"Very true. A+," Miss Bitters stated as she swept past.

"This isn't a class!" Dib snapped his head around to protest to his teacher, "And she's not even in your grade!"

"Doesn't matter, I say she's getting a A+, she's getting one," Bitters replied back over her shoulder, "Also, detention tomorrow for backtalk."

 "Ah, but, I..." Dib stammered, only for Grundy to poke him on the head to get his attention.

"Brother should quit before scary teacher make it worse," the zombie stated flatly. Dib opened his mouth to say something in defiance of that, before clicking it shut as it occurred to him that Miss Bitters could in fact do a lot worse than a detention, and he slumped in defeat.

"This is not my night," he muttered, turning his attention back to where Bill was arguing with the Robo-Mom, and also the Robo-Dad, who had rolled up to help his "wife" defend their "son's" apparent fiancé.

 "I think someone needs a spanking!" Declared the Robo-Dad as he grabbed Bill from behind.

"Ah? What?!" Bill demanded as he was lifted up by the back of his trench coat.

Everyone blinked and stared in confusion as the Robo-Dad bent Bill over his other arm (as he didn't have knees to use as a base), while the Robo-Mom rolled over and started hitting the man's rear with a ham that she pulled out of nowhere.

"Let this teach you a lesson, young man!" she declared as Bill yelped from each hit.

"This hurts us more than it hurts you!" the Robo-Dad added.

"Should we, uh... do something?" Mammoth asked in the awkward silence as the crowd watched in incredulous disbelief at the scene unfolding before them.

"You do whatever you want. I'm trying to will myself out of existence from pure mortification," Zita groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Is this normal human behavior?" Starfire whispered to Zim.

"Zim honestly has no idea," Zim admitted, watching his robots brutalize the adult human who acted like a taller Dib with a meat product, "But Zim is not entirely opposed to this happening. It should teach the Earth-Monkey to mess with Zim's General!"

At that Starfire had to smile, feeling a strong strange warmth for the sign of defensive care Zim might have for her.

Before she could dwell on it, however, things suddenly got a lot worse. Because it was at that moment that GIR's incidental sabotage of the Robo-Parents' reprogramming kicked in.

"Oops!" Robo-Dad declared, suddenly dropping Bill to the floor, "I got diarrhea!"

Everyone grimaced and leaned back at that.

"What?" Gaz asked with flat disgust, speaking everyone's shared thought.

"Boy, I love burritos, but they don't love me!" Robo-Dad continued, patting his nonexistent stomach.

"Here dear, let me fix those grass stains for you!" Robo-Mom said happily, before hitting her "husband" with the ham and sending him rolling backwards into the nearest wall.

"Uh... are they alright?" Brian nervously asked Zim.

"Um, of course, it's ummm, just something they ate, yes!" Zim declared, latching onto the first excuse he could think of, before running toward the parent decoys, "Mother, Father, Zim believes we should be going!" He declared, unsure what went wrong with his brilliant programming, but knew he couldn't afford the decoys to malfunction and cause any more of a scene than they already had.

"Nonsense, sweetie, everyone's just starting to have fun!" Robo-Mom declared, before turning to face a random woman in the crowd, "Who does your hair?!"

"Um, well- AH!" the woman stammered, before the Robo-Mom started poking her hard in the forehead, "OW! Stop that!"

Starfire and Zim's eyes went wide with shock, a feeling most of the room was feeling, though Dib and Gaz, even if for different reasons, were watching with amusement.

"Um, excuse me... I believe that is considered most rude," Starfire stepped forward, trying to do what she can to help Zim, "And Zim is right, it is getting the late," she said with a strained smile.

"Oh, it's alright dear, I'm just being friendly!" Robo-Mom stated cheerfully, turning to look at Starfire even while she continued poking the poor woman. Starfire tried to say something to dispute that, but was interrupted by a loud noise that drew everyone's attention to where Robo-Dad was pulling himself away from the wall while sparking with arcs of electricity.

BOOM

And then his arm blew clear off his body, flying across the room to land in the punch bowl, eliciting screams.

"That's normal!" Zim quickly yelled in desperation and panic, "My father just, um, lost his arm in the war!"

"That was my squeezing arm! Why did they take my squeezing arm?!" Robo-Dad sobbed, rolling over and leaning against Starfire for support.

"Ah... there, there?" Starfire offered awkwardly, patting Robo-Dad on the shoulder that still had an arm attached to it.

"Oh, this is too good," Dib chuckled with a smirk.

"Reminds me of last Thanksgiving," Gizmo muttered off to the side next to Gaz and Zita, the latter watching as her uncle got up with a scowl.

"Please don't do anything crazy, embarrassing, or stupid," the girl pleaded, wanting to walk away from tonight with some dignity.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything else tonight," Bill replied, making Zita sag in relief.

"Oh, thank goodness. I was worried that-"

"Obviously, this alien siren has ensnared not just the boy, but his parents as well," Bill continued, "I will need to regroup and strategize how to take them all on!"

"Ah, come on! Uncle Bill, please don't start stalking my classmates like Dib!" Zita pleaded, with Dib giving her an offensive glare at being called a stalker.

"Forget it kid, my family's dealt with enough so-called Sasquatch hunters to know an obsessive loon when we see one," Mammoth said with a grunt, rolling his eyes.

"You stay out of this, gorilla!" Bill snapped at Mammoth, whose eye started twitching in response.

"For the last time... I am not a gorilla!" he yelled, trying to lunge at Bill, only for Grundy to pull back on his leash, pulling him up short.

"Hairy boy behave, or no TV when get back to cave," Grundy said sternly.

"What? But he..." Mammoth's protests were cut off by Grundy's stern glare as Bill let out a hum.

"I see Cocofang sent one of his undead servants to keep his pet on a short leash," he remarked, prompting a glare from Mammoth and confused look from Grundy, "Be thankful I do not have the time or equipment to properly deal with you this evening," he said, before twisting around and letting his trench coat flap dramatically behind him, "Come, Zita! I'll take you home, we'll just tell your folks your teachers said to keep doing what you're doing," he let out a dismissive snort, "They're nothing but mindless cogs in the chocolate-coated conspiracy anyway."

He stated as Zita let out a groan, "I am so sorry about him."

"Now you know how I feel about being in public with this idiot," Gaz grunted, gesturing to Dib.

"I should take offense at that, but I'm enjoying myself too much," Dib stated, grinning in amusement as he watched Zim's attempt to get the Robo-Parents' attention somehow led to them beginning to river dance.

"Why do you even know how to do that?!" Zim screeched at the robots, eye twitching so hard that it threatened to pop out its disguise contact.

"Hehehe, at this rate Zim and his girlfriend are going to be exposed as the alien menaces they are in no time!" Dib said with a large smirk, prompting a glare from Zim who heard him, only to let out a yelp as Robo-Mom grabbed him.

"Come on dear, let's dance as a family!" She called as she and Robo-Dad each took one of Zim's hands as they danced.

"No! Zim has no desire for dance! Zim desires you to stop!"

"Nonsense!" Robo-Dad chimed in, "Here, have your first dance with your girl!"

"Wait, what?!" Starfire exclaimed, before yelping as Robo-Dad grabbed her and pulled her forward, just in time for Robo-Mom to turn and shove Zim in her direction. He slammed against Starfire, and the two instinctively grabbed ahold of each other, leaving Zim pressed against Starfire's chest and dangling from a grip on her neck as she held onto him, their faces very close together.

"Um..."

"Ah..."

Both aliens blushed brightly as they stared into each other's eyes, unable to even think at the moment, much less look away.

And naturally, everyone was watching the scene as well.

"Do chicks dig the crazy weirdos now or something?" Brian asked with a look of despair, wondering when life became so unfair.

"Well, women like guys with confidence, and say what you will about the freak, can't deny that Zim's got confidence in spades," Letty said thoughtfully next to him, tapping her chin.

"Yeah, if he wasn't so loud and annoying, I might actually consider dating him," Aki added, several other girls nodding in agreement.

"Seriously?" Chunk grunted, "Man, I'm starting to think that joke about Dib potentially getting a girlfriend might actually end up coming true after all..."

"Hey! How is me possibly getting a girlfriend a joke?" Dib demanded, his offense at the statement enough to override his amusement at Zim and Starfire's suffering.

 "Dude, you're constantly chasing fairy tale creatures or spacemen," Brian said in return, his voice flat, as if the statement answered his question completely.

 "I'm standing next to a zombie that my Dad reanimated and an actual Bigfoot, and there are two aliens getting lost in each other's eyes right over there!" Dib exclaimed, gesturing wildly between Grundy, Mammoth, and the pair of Zim and Starfire, who were snapped out of their stunned state by his volume, "If anything, all this proof that I'm right about my beliefs should make me more attractive!"

"Gross," Gaz muttered, sticking out her tongue.

"Dib, if aliens actually existed and if it was a choice between you and the alien invader.... I'd go with the alien, hands down," Zita said dryly as she walk past him to follow after her leaving uncle.

 "That... that might be the biggest insult I've ever suffered in my life," Dib said, looking genuinely hurt by that comment.

Meanwhile, Zim and Starfire had disentangled, and were rather pointedly looking at Dib's drama rather than each other.

"Ahem... do you have any idea for how we are to get out of this?" Starfire asked Zim in a whisper, while glancing at the still dancing Robo-Parents.

"Hmm, Zim has one idea. Play along," he ordered. Not giving her a chance to respond, he suddenly bent over backwards very sharply, and called out in a voice of exaggerated pain, "Oh no! I've broken my spine! I must go home and lie down now!"

"Ah... oh! Um, yes, it looks most serious! We should take you to the hospital of healing at once!" Starfire declared after a confused blink at first, before her eyes widened in realization, and she played along, "Mr. and Mrs... um... Zim's parents! We must take Zim and leave with much haste!"

"Oh, honey, are you upset?" Robo-Mom asked, leaning over Zim, "I think it's time we took you home."

"Yes, immediately!" Zim ordered, happy that things were finally going his way... only to blink in surprise as Robo-Mom picked him and cradled him in her arms, before her and Robo-Dad's legs turned into rockets, blasting them all upwards.

BOOM

And right through the ceiling. Starfire blinked at that, looking up at their rapidly disappearing forms through the new hole in the ceiling, before shrugging and taking off to fly after them.

"...Is everybody going to pretend that they didn't just see that?!" Dib demanded, only to realize that much of the crowd was gathered around the woman who had been traumatically poked, and everyone else looked only mildly interested, "Oh, come on!"

"Hmm, impressive rockets. I'll have to ask where they got them, since I didn't recognize the design," Professor Membrane mused, "Why, I didn't even see any flames from the overly-tanned girl's!"

"Because she wasn't using rockets, she was flying under her own power! Because she's an alien!" Dib yelled in exasperation.

 "Now son, there's no such thing as aliens, like I've stated hundreds of times before," Membrane said with a shake of his head, "And seeing that crazy Bill person... I think we need to have a serious talk about your little hobbies and future, young man."

 "What?!" Dib exclaimed, while Gaz snickered at his expression, "Dad, you can't possibly think I'm anything like that, that, cereal-obsessed whack job!"

"Not yet, perhaps, but it is definitely a concerning possibility that that is what you may end up becoming if you keep up your obsession with nonsense," the Professor declared.

Gaz snorted, barely holding back laughter, but her good humor died at her father's next words, "In fact, from everything tonight, from that poor crazy deluded man to the comments of the other parents, I think I've been giving you and your sister too much free rein with my hands-off parenting."

"Wait, what?" Gaz asked, suddenly getting a bad feeling.

"Which is why I'll be looking into hiring the services of a live-in nanny effectively immediately!" He declared as Gaz and Dib's eyes widened in shock.

"What?!" the siblings exclaimed in unison.

"A nanny?! What are we, six-year-olds?!" Gaz added in utter disbelief that this was happening... well, that it was happening to her, in any case. Dib's antics always got him reprimanded by their father, but she was supposed to be immune to it!

"Age isn't the issue, it's supervision, which I believe will help deal with Gaz's apparent anger issues, and Dib's obsession with fantasy," Membrane said, with Gaz's eye twitching.

"Anger issues?! I don't have..." she was cut off by alarms blaring on Membrane's side.

"Whoops! Got to go, children, seems like the muscle-enhanced lab rats got loose again and are disrupting the energy reactor!"

Everyone blinked at that, a brief silence falling over the room as Membrane's screen switched off, before Gaz broke it with a growl.

"Anger issues? That's ridiculous! I don't have anger issues!" she snarled, before turning to the nearby Gizmo, "Do I have anger issues?!"

"...If I say yes, are you going to hit me?" he asked nervously.

That was apparently the worst thing to say, as she let out a feral growl.

"Wait, wait, WAIT!" Before Gizmo found himself grabbed and thrown across the room, landing right into the punch bowel with a groan.

"Urg... she's cute when she's mad," he muttered in a low groan, lying in the punch bowel while Gaz, not hearing that comment, swirled around to grab Dib's neck.

"Dib..." Gaz's eyes were alit with fury, "if I have to deal with some prissy old nanny lecturing me, or trying to limit my video game or television privileges because of you..." her grip on Dib's neck tightened, "I'm going to become an only child."

"Ugh, ack, understood!" Dib gurgled around his sister's vice-grip on his throat. He had no idea how he could stop that from happening, so he had a feeling that he'd be facing some long-term hospital visits in the future.

But with that thought, he found himself flung across the room straight toward Gizmo just as he sat up from the punch bowel, and only had a moment to widen his eyes before Dib's form hit him.

WHAM

The two boys collided, the impact knocking them both off of the table and into a heap on the floor.

"Ugh... your sister has great aim," Gizmo groaned.

"I know... unfortunately," Dib moaned in response.

 "Little sister should not worry, Grundy is sure she will love nanny," Grundy said as he pulled on Mammoth's leash to follow after Gaz, prompting a growl of annoyance.

And as Dib picked himself up with a groan of pain and the rest of the room took in and gossiped about everything that just happen, one thing was for sure, tonight did not go like how anything of them expected it too.

"At last, I've finally got the perfect dirt to use against that loser freak," Kitten said off to the side with a huff as Jessica sighed.

"You really need to let this grudge go," she said as Kitten shot her a glare.

"I'll let it go when that loser is on her hands and knees kissing my designer shoes!" she snapped.

"That's kinda hot," Brian said with a blink off to the side, and for that comment he got a hard slap upside the head as Kitten stomped out of the room.

SMACK

 "Worth it..." Brian groaned as he slumped to the ground, lying there barely conscious as everyone started to disperse and head home.

(Zim's base, a while later)

"So, how did it go?" the Computer asked, half-interested/half-amused as the group returned to the house.

"Don't ask," Zim said with a look of annoyance as he took a seat at the couch next to a tired-looking Starfire, "Zim just doesn't know what could have gone wrong with the programming?" He muttered with a scowl, "And that annoying human who was like a taller Dib... he didn't help the situation at all!"

"Indeed he did not," Starfire replied, scowling at the thought of Bill, who was somehow even more annoying than the first time she encountered him.

"Sounds fun~" the Computer chuckled, Zim glaring at the ceiling.

"It is not funny!" he snapped, "There's another human who knows that we are aliens! And on top of that, now everyone thinks we're mates!"

"Wait, what?" the Computer asked in surprise, while Starfire blushed at the reminder, and Zim did likewise as he realized what he'd just said.

 "Urg... just never mind that!" Zim said with a growling groan of frustration.

"At the very least, most of the other humans believe him less sound of mind than the Zor'duni," Starfire pointed out as Zim gave a frown, nodding.

"Yes, that is true... though Zim should look into this Cocofang the human was babbling about. Zim refuses to have any competition for conquering this planet!" the Irken hissed with a glare, with Starfire giving a blink, a part of her very sure this Cocofang was not real... though then again, since many of the humans believed aliens like themselves to not be real. Perhaps checking to see if the strange man was not right about this Fang of the Coco just to be safe would not hurt.

"And at the very least, our cover is intact," Zim said with a sigh, giving a groan, "We merely need to play along with this mate belief to not stir up suspicion... unless we can find a way to fix this mistake without risking the mission," He added with a blushing mutter.

 "Oh, um, yes... yes, we do not want to make any believe we are lying to them, after all," Starfire nervously agreed, blushing brightly as well.

"How awful for you both," the Computer laughed.

"Do you have anything useful to contribute?!" Zim snapped.

"I stopped GIR from replacing all the base's defensive lasers with marshmallows while you were gone, I've done my good deed for the day," the Computer replied dryly.

"Grrr, of course that robot can't stay out of trouble for one night," Zim said with a scowl, "And something tells Zim that GIR might have had a hand in the decoy parents malfunctioning as well."

He added, glancing off to the side at the decoys.

"Son, your mom and I are going to recharge for the night, so you and your girlfriend have the house to yourselves," the Robo-Dad declared with a smile.

"So you crazy kids don't do anything we wouldn't do~" Robo-Mom added with a laugh.

That made Zim and Starfire blush again and stammer incoherently, until the robots retreated into their storage closet.

"I'm going to need to do a hard reboot on them to get them back to normal... or what passes for normal with them," Zim growled.

"Indeed, but I believe for now we should both rest... it has been the long day, no?" Starfire said as Zim nodded in agreement.

"Indeed, we can figure out how to address that Bill human tomorrow," he said with a frown, "The Dib-Stink is bad enough, we don't need another human attempting to stop our conquest."

 "Yes, he could most definitely be a problem," Starfire nodded in agreement.

However, there was nothing else they could do about it right now. So with that, they both retired to their rooms for the night... unaware that a small ship had arrived in Earth's solar system.

"So, this is where the tracker I had placed last has that stupid lizard's coordinates," mused a pair of purple glowing eyes, glancing to the blue and green orb floating in space before her.

"I don't know where exactly you are down there, little sister... but I'm coming for you. And when I find you, I’m going to settle things between us once and for all," Blackfire said, eyes narrowing and glowing in rage as she headed toward the planet.