Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In a secluded part of the universe, in a tiny corner tucked away in between the boundaries of time and space, two eldritch deities were playing a game of chess. 

If any mortal being tried to look upon this sight, their brain wouldn’t be able to comprehend what they were seeing, and would likely explode. In corridors between realms like these, immortals had no reason to confine to the restricting, boring rules of reality . But, for simplicity’s sake, there are phrases in the human language that can give a faint impression of what it might have looked like. 

Playing the white pieces was a golden demon that resembled a triangle, one large eye situated in the middle of his body. He had scrawny arms and legs, and a tall black top hat perched on his head. A black bow tie sat below his eye, giving him the appearance of a very dapper bit of trigonometry. This was Bill Cipher, an interdimensional dream demon, and one of the most chaotic forces in the Mindscape. He held a bishop in his hand, and his singular eye scanned the checkerboard. 

Across from Bill, playing the black pieces, sat what was best described as a very ugly doll. It was small, green, and fuzzy, with tentacles and warts covering its face. Despite the fact that the doll did not move or open its mouth, one look was all you needed to know that it was very much alive. This was Wiggog Y’wrath (more commonly known as Wiggly), a horrid creature from the Black and White. 

Bill finally placed down his bishop, taking one of Wiggly’s pawns. “Your turn, toots.” He gave the other entity a look, and if Bill had a mouth he’d likely be grinning. 

Wiggly said nothing, nor moved. Instead, the black queen moved forwards all on its own, easily capturing Bill’s bishop. The triangle clicked his tongue.

“Yeah, I thought you might do that. Eh, no problem! I’ll get my revenge soon enough.” He grabbed a pawn and moved it forwards a space. 

“Are we going to actually speak about the matter at hand, Billy-willy?” An eerie, high-pitched voice echoed from the spot where Wiggly was sitting - but his mouth did not move. Bill rolled his eye.

“Yeah yeah, I’m thinking about it.” Bill said defensively. “I’ve been thinking about it this whole game, and that’s probably why I’m losing so bad.”

“Then perhaps we should take a break, so you can tell me all of your fascinating opinions on my proposition.” Wiggly’s voice said. 

Bill let out a laugh. “You Lords in Black. Always so stuffy! Listen, overlord to overlord, I’m flattered that you care so much about my apocalypse. I really do! It’s about time that my work got some traction. But it is just the tiiiiniest bit insulting that you feel like it won’t succeed without you. I mean, I’m a trillion years old! I’ve been around the block a few times. This may be my first full-scale proper apocalypse, but I know what I’m doing.”

“It is not that I believe you cannot cause the end of the world,” One of Wiggly’s pawns moved forwards on the checkerboard. “It is simply that after examining all of the timelines with my brothers, I believe I have found a solution that benefits both of our plans.”

“Yeah yeah, I get that, but what I don’t understand is how sure you are. I mean, time travel? Really? There’s a reason I don’t really mess with it. While I’m all for unpredictability and chaos, I’ve just already put so much work into making this timeline perfect for me. Why risk messing with perfection?”

Wiggly still didn’t move, but Bill had a feeling the eldritch demon was smiling at him. “So you are afraid.”

Within an instant, Bill flashed red, and his size tripled in height. “I am not afraid.” he spat at Wiggly, his voice coming out in a tone that sounded almost glitched. 

“I never said you were.” Wiggly’s voice crooned. “But very well. I’ll say my part, Billy-willy.”

A hazy green mist began to settle over the two demons, and an image was projected onto the area beside the checkerboard. Bill’s eye narrowed as he took in the sight of three teenagers, two female and one male, sprawled on the ground, their faces twisted in fright. 

“These,” Wiggly said. “Are my… problem children.”

“Oh yeah, Equation, Cell Phone, and Bicycle, I’m familiar.” Bill pointed at each as he called out their names. If Wiggly had been using a physical form at the moment, he would’ve raised an eyebrow at him.

“You know them?”

“I’ve seen possibilities where they end up dying gruesomely from my schemes in Gravity Falls, if that’s what you call ‘knowing’.” Bill said with a laugh. The image evaporated, and the green mist cleared.

“Makes sense. Bill, my brother Tinky -“

Bill waved a hand. “Oh, Tinky! Love that guy. Huge fan of his work -“

“- Tinky and I were chatting, and we have an idea. In many, many timelines, these three end up outwitting us and ending any potential chances for my brothers and I to cause mass destruction to Hatchetfield. It seems that the ultimatum we give them is too easily combated. So, for this version of events…” Wiggly’s plastic smile seemed to get even creepier. “…what if we sent them back? A couple years in the past, to a place where they know no one, and are in another deity’s ballpark.”

Bill crossed his arms. “…mine.”

“Yours.”

“You want me to mess around with your brats instead, huh?” Bill clasped his hands together. “You know, normally I’d be offended at another guy making me do his dirty work, but I get the feeling that that’s not really what’s going on here. You think I’ll have fun playing with these three, don’t you?”

“Precisely, Billy-willy.”

Bill chuckled. “Eh, what the hell, sure! Having a few more puppets never did a guy any worse. I’ve seen glimpses of a few realities where they join up with Pine Tree and Shooting Star, but in most they just hobble around for ages and cry about missing Michigan! So, eh, fine, I guess Tinky can do his time bullshit on them.” Suddenly, Bill became very still. “But, if this ends up going poorly…the consequences will be severe, Wigs.”

Wiggly did not move. “Very well.” His queen slided across the board. “Check.”

Bill moved one of his knights. “Checkmate, you slimy green capitalist. Actually, now that I think about it, I was trying to insult you, but all of those adjectives are good ones.” 

── ⭑ ☆ ⭑ ──

“We need to stop Max Jägerman.”

Peter stared up at the five colorful forms surrounding him and his friends. While at first glance it looked like the trio was being cornered by a group of fellow teenagers, there was something uncanny about their clothes, their expressions, the very hair on their heads. Their leader - the green-haired one in the middle (who, if Pete was being honest with himself, looked a lot like Richie from certain angles) fixed Steph with a steady gaze as she blurted out those words. Steph (brave, wonderful, idiotic Steph) swallowed, before raising her head and looking the leader in the eye. 

“We heard you could help us.”

The five teenagers all threw their heads back, their limbs all moving rhythmically in time. 

“The Lords in Black will help you, yes, you stupid, silly girl,” the five chanted in unison. “Why help you with the Jägerman, when we can help the world? ” 

Beside him, Pete heard Grace clench her hands into fists. The chanting of the five stopped, and the green-haired leader stepped forward, his face forming an odd expression - as if he was pondering something. “Hm, we could. We could take hold of little Maxie and pull him right down to Drowsy Town.”

“Swallow his soul! I wanna lick it.” Another of the colorful teenagers, a girl with bright pink pigtails and a crazed smile on her face, said excitedly. She made a loud biting noise for good measure, and Pete felt Steph shudder beside him. Instinctively, he felt his hand grasp onto hers, and to his surprise, she took it. 

“But why?” the leader continued once more in a whiny tone. “Maxie-poo’s about to get you. Tear you all to bloody bits.”

“I wanna see that,” drawled one of the other teenagers, this one in a purple hoodie with a shock of wavy orange hair. For one horrible moment Pete thought he was looking at Ruth, as there was something just so eerily familiar in how she leaned forwards and grinned at him. Come on, Pete. Richie and Ruth are dead. Dead. Get a hold of yourself.

“But,” the green-haired leader said, turning his head to gaze at the other four beside him. “We have a solution. One that we believe will be of a huge benefit to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Steph countered. “What’s the catch?” 

He grinned evilly. “Leave this town. Hatchetfield is only what it is because of those who live in it. Maxie-poo is after you.” The leader leaned down, and jabbed a finger at Pete’s nose. “His quarrel is with you, and he’ll stop at nothing to find you. But if you were, say, halfway across the country…Maxie would be powerless! His ghost will never be gone for good, but he will be rendered basically harmless. Just a little, itty-bitty poltergeist. Maxie can’t leave Hatchetfield. He’s a ghost! Which results in a perfect paradox.”

“H-How do we know you’re telling the truth?” Grace finally spoke, her voice stammering. The leader frowned. 

“We are the Lords in Black. Are you insinuating the Lords in Black are wrong?”

“How far?” Pete found himself saying, in a voice about an octave higher than normal. The leader’s grin widened.

“I hear Oregon is quite beautiful this time of year.”

All five burst into maniacal, horrible, identical bouts of laughter. Pete stared at them, then turned to look at Steph and Grace, who wore horrified expressions that Pete was sure he mirrored. 

“We have to do it,” he found himself saying. “From all of the evidence we’ve gathered so far - what they’re saying makes sense. As destructive and awful as Max is, he wants to kill us. But ghosts are tethered to their resting places. So if the three of us get the hell out of here, everything should…logically…go back to normal. Sure, Max won’t be destroyed, but it’s a lot better than like, I dunno, having to sacrifice one of us to a cult or something.”

“What’s in it for them, though?” Steph shot back. “I mean, you just know they wanna see us die. Especially that one right there.” She pointed towards the girl in the hoodie. 

“Yeah! There’s no way they’re gonna just let us go. They’re literally the antichrist!” Grace exclaimed. 

“I know,” Pete said softly. “But…it’s the only plan we have. What else can we do? Can’t exactly de-summon them.” He let out a weak chuckle. 

Steph and Grace exchanged a look, and then Steph put a hand on his shoulder. “Well, whatever the hell we do, I know I’ll be fine if I’m sticking with you.”

“Me too,” Grace added. “Well, first I’m gonna seek sanctuary in the church and repent for all the horrible things I’ve done in the past forty-eight hours, and then I’ll stick with you guys.”

Steph rolled her eyes. Then, she turned her head, glaring at the leader. “Okay! We…uh…we agree to your plan. We’ll leave Hatchetfield.”

The Lords in Black cheered. 

“Very well. And, since we are just so very kind, we’ve already paid for your flights.” The leader glanced over at another of the Lords, a guy with spiky yellow hair and a crazed look in his eyes. “Tinky? You’re up.”

The guy - Tinky - let out another laugh, and then (to Pete’s horror) fixed his gaze squarely on him. “Spankoffski! Tell your brother I said hi. Heh. Just kidding!”

The entire gymnasium began to glow furiously. Pete grabbed tighter onto Steph, and he felt like his brain was about to explode. “What are you -“

The three teenagers began to hover off the ground, alongside all the other objects in the gym. The Lords in Black remained on the ground, their faces locked on an expression of crazed excitement. Grace screamed. 

“You jerks! You didn’t tell us everything, did you?! I’ll have you know lying is a sin!” Grace yelled, kicking her feet as she hovered above the floor. 

Tinky was still staring at Pete. “You won’t be seeing your brother for a long, long time, Spankoffski.” 

The glow increased to a terrifying roar, and then with one final scream, Peter Spankoffski, Stephanie Lauter, and Grace Chasity were gone.

── ⭑ ☆ ⭑ ──

Eight years ago (before the start of that fateful senior year at Hatchetfield High where so many of its student body would die), a tiny town called Gravity Falls, located in the middle of nowhere in Oregon, was having a party. 

Which was actively being invaded by zombies. 

In the midst of the ground shaking and all the screaming, none of the townsfolk gathered at the Mystery Shack that night even noticed the strange golden light that flashed for a moment in the woods, or the three screaming bodies that seemingly fell out of the sky. All they were focused on was not getting their brains eaten. 

Thankfully, Gravity Falls had the Pines family to deal with this kind of stuff. 

After a hell of a lot of zombie crushing (and a surprising amount of karaoke singing), the shack was completely wrecked - but everyone had escaped alive, and that was the only thing that mattered. The Pines - Stan, the old man who owned the shack, and his twelve-year-old grandnephew and grandniece, Dipper and Mabel - retired to the living room, laughing and joking about how they’d totally gotten those zombies. 

The last thing they’d expected was a knock on the door.

“Maybe it’s the party guests, wanting to come back now that it’s safe?” Dipper asked cautiously. Stan grunted. 

“If it is, tell them to scram. Anybody with half a brain could see that we’re done for the night.”

“I’ll get it!” Mabel said cheerfully, happy to bound over to the door and open it.

Standing before her were three unfamiliar teenagers, all with identical expressions of shock and terror on their faces. Immediately, Mabel wanted to give all of them hugs, since they looked like they just saw a ghost try to eat their grandmother. 

Eventually, one of them, a girl with long wavy brown hair, looked up at Mabel. She tried to fix her face into a smile, but Mabel could tell it wasn’t going very well. 

“Uh, hi,” she said, her eyes pointed determinedly at her feet. “Um…sorry, this is so weird, but…can we come in, maybe?”

“We just fell out of the sky,” added the dark-haired, bespeckled boy beside her. 

“After being teleported by the antichrist,” chimed in the third person, another girl with short, choppy hair and a pale blue sweater vest that Mabel immediately wanted to steal. 

“Also, where are we?” said the first girl, scratching her head. The boy winced.

“Sorry, kid. We probably sound insane to you.”

Immediately, Mabel began laughing (much to the teenagers’ concern). “Oh, please . I’ve seen weirder things today alone .” She whipped her head around. “Hey, Dipper! Come meet my new friends from the sky!”

── ⭑ ☆ ⭑ ──

Chapter Text

Peter Spankoffski, all things considered, was a fairly normal kid. 

He did well in school, had a few close friends, lived with his older brother, made some pocket money from tutoring kids on the weekend, got bullied by jocks, and was an avid fan of both Star Wars and Star Trek. The strangest thing about Pete was his hometown of Hatchetfield, Michigan, a place where the tagline printed onto the postcards that you could find in the local rinky-dink gift shops was “Hatchetfield - Where people go missing every day!” Seriously. You can’t make that stuff up. There was always something odd going on in Hatchetfield. People disappearing into the Witchwood, sightings of “ape-men”, the entire town losing their minds over some ugly doll, and Grace Chasity (yes, her weirdness made her on par with an ape-man on the anomaly ratings). When he was younger, Pete had fancied himself an investigator of sorts, and tried to rope Richie and Ruth into helping him “solve the mysteries of Hatchetfield”. They always got bored of that game after a couple hours, though, and they usually ended up pirating anime or watching illegal bootlegs of Broadway musicals on Pete’s shitty downstairs TV. And, over time, Pete stopped caring about the paranormal as well. Hatchetfield was just a weird old town that he happened to live in, and that was that.

Until the weirdness walked right up to Pete and smacked him and his friends in the face. 

For the past few days, Pete and his friends (plus the effortlessly cool Stephanie Lauter and the aforementioned freak Grace Chasity) had been pursued by a murderous ghost who wanted them dead (which, in all honesty, was fair, since they were the ones who ended up causing his demise). Max Jägerman had already killed Richie and Ruth, and Pete knew that he would stop at nothing until all five of them were dead in the water. In a moment of desperation, Pete, Steph, and Grace ended up using a mysterious item known as the Black Book to summon a powerful group of deities known as the Lords in Black, in the hopes that they could help them defeat Max. Instead, they simply told the trio that all they needed to do was leave Hatchetfield, and Max would be rendered powerless. So, the deal was made.

And now Pete was in Oregon. 

“Hey, glasses! You know the deal. Does that look like working to you?”

Pete winced as he heard the harsh, grumbly tone of the one and only Stan Pines. Aka, his new boss. 

It had been two days since Pete crashed into Gravity Falls - some small, tourist trappy town in the middle of bumbfuck nowhere. The area of the woods that Tinky’s powers had transported them to was right beside a run-down old hut called the Mystery Shack, a museum of sorts filled with all kinds of weird things. Weird fake things, since it was run by a man who definitely had a criminal record (Steph was great at sniffing those kinds of things out). If you looked up “junk” in the dictionary, you’d probably get a picture of this place.

But, for all of Stan Pines’ suspicious charisma, he was chill enough to let three random teenagers crash in the spare room of his house for an indefinite amount of time. 

“Y-Yes, Mr. Pines, sorry.” Pete said hastily, returning to his previously assigned task of restocking the clothing racks with cheap merchandise. The catch with Stan was that in order to stay at the shack, they had to do manual labor for him. 

Stan walked right past him, heading straight to the front door. “There are some guys coming around today to do some repairs on the shack, so I’m heading outside to make sure they don’t screw anything up.” His eyes narrowed. “Which means, don’t screw anything up in here.”

From their spot at the cash register, Steph and Grace gave Stan identical nods. Pete shot awkward finger guns at him.

“Heh. This is great! People working for me for free…I should do it more often.” Stan scratched his chin. “Then again, I feel like I remember learning something in history years ago about how that’s morally wrong.” He shrugged. “Eh, whatever.”

As soon as Stan slammed the door behind him, Steph let out a loud groan, mashing her head into the counter. “I am going to kill myself.”

Pete winced. “Steph…”

“No, she has a point.” Grace said. “God, if you’re listening, feel free to take me now! Send an angel or some crap!”

“Ooh, angels! That’s one thing we haven’t seen yet, Dipper! Anything about that in the journal?”

“Definitely not. I’m pretty sure that’s a whole other ball park.”

Pete turned his head, his expression softening a tiny bit as he saw the Pines twins entering the gift shop, identical grins on their faces. The girl, Mabel, had on a colorful sweater, and the boy, Dipper, had a red, leather-bound journal underneath his arm.

“Pete, Steph, Grace, good morning! I did get all your names right, right?” Mabel said cheerfully, pointing at each of them in turn.

Steph lifted her head from the counter, and Pete saw her gaze also brighten slightly. There was just something about the Pines twins that put you in a good mood. When two nice, smart kids with big personalities come up to you with a spring in their step, it was hard to not smile a little bit. 

“Yeah, you sure did,” Steph said, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “What are you two rascals up to now?”

“We’re going back to the tree where I found this,” Dipper said, holding up the journal he had. The cover was emblazoned with an odd symbol: a golden, six-fingered hand. “Do, uh…do any of you guys recognize it? Maybe? Since you came from the sky and all that…”

Mabel gasped. “Dipper, maybe they’re the authors of the journal! And they’ve come to warn us that we’ve strayed too far into temptation, and now our pride will never recover!”

Pete let out a nervous laugh, adjusting his glasses. “Uh. Heh. No. I’ve never seen that book in my life.”

Steph walked over to Dipper from the cashier, suddenly alert. “A weird book, huh? Can I look at it? Maybe it's related to the Black Book.”

“The Black Book?” Dipper and Mabel echoed. Steph extended a hand to Grace.

“Grace, gimme.” 

Grace let out a long sigh, then dropped the small book into Steph’s hands. “I was planning on burning it.”

“Not gonna happen.” Steph glanced at the twins. “Listen, kids - I’m not quite sure what you’re working with there, but this book that we have here is incredibly powerful. It contains lots of secrets about Hatchetfield - the place we’re from - and is the reason why we’re in this mess. We used it to summon some fuc - uh, crazy demons that ended up causing us more trouble instead of solving the problems we already had.”

“That’s insane!” Dipper exclaimed. “This journal - it serves a similar function! All summer, I’ve been using it to track all of the anomalies here in Gravity Falls. I’ve been trying to figure out who wrote it, because it has so much information on all kinds of weird things. Including notes on how summoning demons is bad.” 

“Are your demons triangles too?” Mabel asked. “Or maybe they’re other shapes? Like a hexagon!”

“Nope. No geometry-inspired demons in Hatchetfield, heh. The Lords in Black sort of take whatever form they want when they’re summoned.” Pete explained. “Like, we summoned them from our high school’s gym, so they took the form of teenagers when they appeared to us.”

“Really creepy teenagers.” Steph added with a grimace.

Dipper glanced between the Black Book to his journal, and Pete could actively see the wheels turning in his head. “Okay, so…obviously there’s something much, much bigger going on than what I previously assumed. It can’t be a coincidence that you guys were dropped into Gravity Falls, out of all the places in the world. My personal theory? The weirdness from your town and the weirdness in this town are working together, and now it’s all collided. Steph, can I borrow that?”

Dipper reached out his hands towards the Black Book, but Steph took a step back. She shot Pete a concerned look.

“Listen, dude - the stuff in this book is crazy dangerous. It’s not just someone taking notes and writing theories, it’s real, actual spells and incantations and rituals. People have died because of this book. We’re lucky to still be standing here.” Steph’s voice faltered a bit as she spoke, and Pete knew she was thinking about her dad, who’d been killed by Max. 

“If anyone can handle crazy dangerous mysterious books, it’s Dipper.” Mabel said, exchanging a look with her brother. “If there’s stuff in there that can help us figure out what’s going on in Gravity Falls, then letting him take a peek at that magic book is probably for the best.”

“We don’t know you .” Grace said suddenly, glaring at the twins. “I’m sorry, really, I’m sorry, but do you really expect us to hand over some demonic artifact to a bunch of random children?!”

“Hey!” Dipper’s eyes narrowed, and he took a step towards Grace. “For your information, these two random children have battled gnomes, ghosts, time travelers, dinosaurs, demons, clones of ourselves, cursed wax statues, and a video game character that escaped into the real world. Sure, maybe morally two twelve-year-olds shouldn’t be meddling with all this stuff, but that’s just what ended up happening!”

“So maybe you should stop.” Pete said, sighing. “Ignore the paranormal while you can. Go be kids. Live your lives.” 

You don’t want to end up like us, Pete pleaded. Stuck eight years in the past in a place you’ve never been, your friends and family dead, running from eldritch gods. Run while you can. 

“Uh, no.” Dipper said, and he glared at Pete. Immediately, Pete was very aware that he had royally pissed off this twelve-year-old, and now he was going to hate him forever. Which sucked because Pete had actually kind of liked Dipper. 

“Hey, guys?” Mabel said, looking between the five of them. “Listen. As much as I think Dipper’s right, I do kind of see you guys’ point. But if you’re gonna be living with us for the next…uh...indeterminate amount of time…then I really don’t want us to be on bad terms. So, why don’t we give you guys a chance to see that we’re capable?” Mabel tapped Dipper’s journal. “Come with us on our quest to find the author!”

Dipper gasped, then nodded. “Yeah, that’s a great idea! Then you can see how awesome and capable we are!”

Immediately, Pete’s first thoughts were absolutely no way. He was done with adventure, he was done with the strange and unusual, and there was no way Steph or Grace would -

“Okay.”

Steph’s voice rang out loud and clear. Pete whipped his head around to stare at her.

“Steph!”

“What?” She tipped her head to the side. “They’re just a couple of kids, Pete.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Obviously they’re greatly exaggerating everything they’re talking about. There’s no way this town is half as weird as Hatchetfield. Might as well humor them. Plus, I wanna get out and explore.” Steph raised her voice again. “Where are we going?” 

“We probably shouldn’t leave the shack. Mr. Pines -“ Pete started to protest, but Mabel waved a hand.

“Don’t worry about Grunkle Stan. If you’re with us, he’ll be, like, only a quarter as mad as he might be.” Mabel insisted.

Dipper, meanwhile, had dropped his stubborn act, and was now back into full on conspiracy mode. “There’s this tree where I originally found the journal, and I have writings that indicate…”

Steph pushed open the door to the shack. “Lead the way.” The twins bounded out the door, chatting loudly, and Pete let out a long sigh.

“I feel like this is about to go horribly wrong,” Pete hissed into Steph’s ear. A smirk grew on her face, and he felt his cheeks warm. 

“Not if we’re here.” Steph said quietly. She looked over at Grace. “You comin’, Chastity?”

“No,” Grace grumbled. Steph shrugged. 

“Fine by me -“

“Ugh, fine , I’ll come if you’re so desperate.”

── ⭑ ☆ ⭑ ──