Work Text:
Swish swish swish
Cooper moved the mouthwash back and forth methodically. Make sure to get all the corners, everything, much as possible.
Wash away all the dirt and grime of the past. Raised voices a slap against the face. Tears streaming down his face
Cooper bent over the sink and spit. He was at a sleepover, the first one of the school years at Logan’s place.
He had been friends with Logan since the summer and now the school year was finally starting up again. Which meant it was his first time seeing Mateo since the whole summer.
It was a weird feeling, it’s not like he was cold or anything. It was like Mateo wanted to talk to cooper again but just…wouldn’t. I mean cooper didn’t blame him. Logan had been bullying Mateo for what…6 years now?
Cooper remembered in 3rd grade when Logan had moved to their school. He was brash and loud and somehow got everyone wanting to be his friend- and cooper never understood why.
Mateo somehow understood but wasn’t really…looking for a friendship with Logan. It was solidified when Logan had poured all of his milk all over Mateo’s drawings and didn’t apologize. In fact he had said that the smudges made the drawings better.
Mateo wouldn’t stop crying all day, going home, tears in his eyes. Cooper didn’t understand but was still there to comfort Mateo and hate on Logan who frankly didn’t care.
But now as they grew older and cooper began hanging out with Logan more he finally understood why everyone wanted to be friends with Logan all those years ago. In the kindest way possible Logan was like a drug.
Caffeine specifically. He could hold you up high, making you live your best moments, bringing you to your fullest potential but just as quick with one simple joke or comment can bring you to your lowest low. Logan noticed most of the time and quickly apologized with a fist bump or maybe a chocolate but the times that Logan didn’t notice was…rough to say the least
Cooper frowned remembering a particular comment Logan made towards him.
“Dude you’d think a kid your size would be a better goalie”
He was right, but it still stung. He almost talked to Mateo again, opening up their chat to send a message but then quickly stopped. He wouldn’t come running back to Mateo after every little comment. Logan didn’t mean it like that, he spoke before he even thought. If he even thought.
Sometimes Logan talked so fast and so out of left field it was hard to tell if he even did think about anything.
Cooper walked out of the bathroom to Logan scrolling on his phone on top of coopers sleeping bag. Cooper smiled and playfully kicked Logan in the shoulder.
“Hey you wanna get off so I can ya know…lay down?”
Logan kicked up his feet and shimmered down further.
“Nahhh I actually really like this spot…nice stretching for my back.” Logan glanced upwards at cooper winking. Cooper smiled looking down on him.
“Alrighttt suit yourself…guess I’ll just take the nice cozy waaarm bed up here..” cooper felt a tug on his pant legs until-
WHAM!
Cooper laughed as Logan dragged him down to the sleeping bag next to him.
“Oh hell no dude thats my bed” Logan giggled, rolling on top of cooper and then quickly stood on top of him. Cooper wheezed out a laugh as Logan jumped on top of the bed, curling his blankets around him.
Cooper laid down in his sleeping bag, yawning and moving his hand to turn of the light
“That was fun…really really OW”
Cooper withdrew his hand and began to quickly rub it staring up at Logan with his hand raised.
“Dude what was that for??”
Logan simply shook his head and laid down on his stomach, hands propping his head up.
“What do you mean dude dude?? We still haven’t done the most important part of a sleepover!” Cooper paused and then turned his head to the side. Logan waited and then slapped his hands against his head.
“Secrets coop secrets. We haven’t even told each other embarrassing secrets yet! I’ll go first, one time when I was in kindergarten I-“
Cooper waved his hands in front of Logan’s face shaking his head. “Look Logan I’m sorry I just…don’t do secrets. You can share your secrets. If you really wanted to! That is but um…I don’t think I really wanna share mine…” cooper felt his face flush pink. God this was so embarrassing he was totally gonna kill the mood-
“Then share Matty’s secrets.”
Cooper paused, his blood running cold.
“Excuse me?”
“Share Mateo’s! Doesn’t have to be anything super massive just…funny enough. Look I’ll share some of Dallas’s if that’s what you wanna play right now.”
“I don’t think…” cooper looked down, beginning to tap his hands on his knees. Logan rolled his eyes in annoyance
“Oh come onnnn you’re not even friends with the dude anymore! You probably won’t even talk to him for the rest of your life! What’s it matter to you if you share a secret or two?”
Logan looked down at cooper with big pleading eyes as cooper ran through all the possibilities through his head.
On one hand Logan would be super disappointed and mad if cooper turned down on sharing a secret- it probably wouldn’t last long, maybe a day or two but cooper really didn’t need to be down a friend in the first two weeks of school. Especially one as popular as Logan.
On the other hand if he did tell Logan, there was a possibility that Logan would let it slip to Mateo and then Mateo would 100% never ever want to talk to cooper again, maybe even avoid cooper for the rest of his life!
And that’s a bad thing?
Cooper took a deep breath and turned over. He could feel Logan’s disappointment but before Logan could make some condescending remark he blurted something out.
“Mateo was trying to be a superhero one time and “save me” and he slipped on dog pee and broke his ankle.”
Cooper heard Logan slowly sit up, giggling.
“Dude are you…serious?” Logan said, eyebrows raised, a big smile on his face.
Cooper turned around and met his eyes, smiling and nodding.
“Yeah, we had to change parks because the other kids wouldn’t stop calling him the pissboy. Oh look everyone here comes piss boy!! He’s gonna save the day!”
Logan laughed, throwing his head back and cooper grinned with satisfaction. A couple more secrets couldn’t hurt… just a couple more.
“And get this- he wouldn’t step FOOT into the spirit Halloween unless he held my arm! One time I had to go to the restroom and Mateo accidentally ran into one of the animatronics and nearly peed himself!! I had to pick him up off the floor and drag him outside so he’d stop screaming!”Logan howled rocking back and forward on his bed. Cooper laughed with him, tears close to leaking out his eyes. He had been sharing Mateo’s secrets and just little embarrassing things he’d do for a little over an hour now and both of them had almost been driven to tears, clutching their stomachs at how much they have been laughing.
Nothing too big of course! Just little things. Things that Logan said would help “make him feel better” about ditching him. Well not ditching him just…
“Dude I didn’t know matty here was that much of a loser” Logan cackled, leaning his head back.
Cooper smiled sadly and just nodded.
“I can’t believe someone like you would want to be friends with someone as uncool as him!” Cooper titled his head to the side and raised his eyebrows.
“What’d you mean someone like you?”
Logan flushed red and flipped his hand.
“Dude you’re like. Super cool you know that right? I mean you get all As, you made our top soccer team even though you absolutely suck as goalie, and on top of that? You somehow know nobody but you’re liked by everybody! Do you know how impressive that is?!”
Cooper blinked in surprise, a warmth making its way up his neck.
“Wow I didn’t know you-“
“Ok ok ok” Logan jutted in moving to turn off the light. “One more Matty special and we’ll call it quits for tonight.”
Cooper felt his face fall slightly as he racked his brain for anything, something, but found…nothing.
“Cmon dude there’s gotta be something. Something that he’s never told anyone before in the history of-“
“He likes boys. He likes boys and girls.”
Logan paused the room turning deathly silent.
“He told me before school ended..it was at his house. We were in a blanket fort and he leaned in close and..told me. I just nodded my head and said ok but…I wonder if it was me. Did I make him like me? Dude that’d be crazy can you imagine-“
“Coop…you do know it’s…ok to like boys and girls right? Dude I have two moms what are you trying to say about-“
Coopers blood ran ice cold, sweat starting to pop up on his forehead.
“No no no t-that’s not what I meant! No no meant how it’s weird that, that he um. You know he was my childhood best friend and I was the only other boy who like. Reaaaally hung out with him I’m just saying isn’t that weird? Like it’s weird right? Like he uh…probably had a…crush…on me or something…”
The room was deathly silent. For the first time in his life it looked like Logan was actually thinking. Cooper felt his throat close up and he tried to keep his breath controlled. Oh god he messed up. He messed up so unbelievably bad he might as well just die right here and no oh my god oh my god cooper could never show his face ever again in fact he should just drop off the face of the earth right here right-
“Coop…I know you don’t meant it how I think you meant it. I really don’t. And look as much of a loser Mateo is him liking boys and girls doesn’t really..contribute to that. I don’t like boys! Not saying I do. It’s just…i dunno dude maybe if your fine with lesbians but can’t imagine your old best friend liking boys maybe you gotta…reflect on why that’s weird.”
Cooper opened his mouth and closed it slowly, no noise emerging from it. Logan watched him in silence before sighing sadly.
“Night coop.”
The lights flicked off and before long Logan was snoring peacefully. Cooper turned over and pressed his hands to his mouth choking back a sob. What was wrong with him?? Outing his own ex best friend to his bully?! Even though Logan would never make fun of Mateo for that still, what was cooper thinking?!
He shook with silent sobs, a burning sensation rising in his chest. Logan was right what was coopers issue. Why did Mateo liking boys all of a sudden bug him so much?
He pressed his eyes close, thinking back to that night underneath the pillow fort but couldn’t remember an actual lick of the conversation held. All he could remember was Mateo’s eyes brimming with tears and he whispered the words “I’m bi” to him under pressed lips. Cooper didn’t understand at the time but he did the same thing that he always did when Mateo began to cry.
It was always hard, he wasn’t the best with words and he was especially bad with comforting people. But despite that,he leaned in close, and slowly began to wipe the tears away, cradling his head. He couldn’t remember much after that, just that they stayed like that for a long time, only falling asleep when both of them held a smile.
Cooper remembered Mateo’s lips, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, the way he would jokingly trace over Mateo’s vitiligo, pretending to create a new branch of the world, a new planet where both of them could fly off to and live, away from everything.
Cooper felt a deep pit grow in his stomach. Mateo’s eyes, Mateo’s lips even his voice seemed to be haunting him that night. He began to cry harder and closed his eyes. He felt someone wiping the tears off his face, cradling his face in their hands. It was only then could cooper fall asleep.
Maybe you have to reflect on why that’s weird