Archive of Our Own

Each flower has its own meaning, each of them have their own symbols. 

It can be love, friendship, gratitude, grief, jealousy, and even rejection. It is funny that some flowers can even represent the feeling of hatred.

If you want to give someone flowers, you have to be careful with their meanings.

The first flowers Komaeda had received were white and pink roses. 

He was just sitting under the shade of a palm tree, looking at everyone being happy and having fun.

He felt like he never deserved to be there, never deserved to wake up from the comatose and get out of the program. 

It didn't matter. He was going to die sooner or later and everyone would feel nothing but relief from his absence. 

“Hey, Komaeda!” 

Komaeda's train of thoughts broke as he heard a familiar voice. He looked up only to see Hinata smiling down at him. His mismatched eyes sparkling and his skin being more bright under rays of sunshine. 

The brunette also had something behind his back as he was looking at Komaeda. 

Shaking his head, Komaeda shot Hinata a smile as he waved. “Hello there, Hinata kun.”

“Why are you sitting here all on your own? You should be having fun, you know?” Hinata raised an eyebrow. “Or you'd rather just sit here and make yourself bored?” Hinata teased as he grinned, making Komaeda chuckle a bit and roll his eyes. 

“I'm not planning to “make myself bored”, but I don't think that I'm worthy enough to..”

Hinata rolled his eyes, already expecting that Komaeda would say that. 

Suddenly, Hinata revealed a bouquet of white and pink roses from his back, the thing he was hiding this entire time. 

“Here.” Hinata gave the bouquet to Komaeda, blushing as he looked away. “I saw these and decided to bring them to you, since you love the pretty stuff.” 

Komaeda's eyes widened as he saw Hinata's gesture, looking at the flowers that Hinata was giving him. 

Pink roses; they were the symbol of happiness and joy. 

It was like Hinata was silently saying that he was happy around someone as unworthy as Komaeda.

And then he saw the other color of the flowers.

White roses; they were the symbol of innocence. Not only that, but also it had the meaning of “I'm worthy of you”. 

Maybe Komaeda was just overreacting and Hinata probably knew nothing about the meaning behind it and was just being a nice person to bring him such beautiful flowers. However, there was also Kamukura who probably knew better about this stuff. 

The white haired male decided to not think about it hard.

Komaeda looked at Hinata once again, who in return was starting back, as if silently asking to pick the flowers. 

“Hinata kun.. these flowers..” Komaeda looked at the flowers again. “They're beautiful. But I don't think I can accept such a beautiful gift. I don't think I'm worthy of it.” Komaeda looked down, feeling ashamed of himself over the fact that someone brilliant as Hinata would bring such beautiful flowers to someone like him, nobody.

Hinata frowned, looking down as well. “You don't like them? I'm sorry. I should've brought you a better gift. I..” 

Komaeda quickly cut him off. “Oh no! I love them. They're really pretty. I..”

Then it was Hinata's turn to cut him off. “Then please take them. I'll be upset if you don't, you know?” Hinata rolled his eyes as he huffed, causing Komaeda to smile slowly as he grabbed the bouquet of flowers from Hinata's hands. 

The action made Hinata smile brightly, his smile was brighter than the actual sunshine and it made Komaeda's heart skip a beat.

“I'm glad you liked them.” Hinata blushed a bit as well as he rubbed the back of his neck, seemingly feeling embarrassed. “Now, would you like to hang out?” Hinata looked at him once again with an excited grin, as if hanging out with someone like him was the best thing in the world. 

However, Komaeda didn't have it in him to reject the offer. After all, who was he to reject it. “I'd love to.” 

The second flower he had received were yellow tulips and hydrangeas. 

Hinata had been acting a bit off for a few days, in which Komaeda found the answer when he found Hinata having a panic attack, seemingly dealing with traumatic flashbacks. 

Komaeda tried his best to calm the brunette down, even embracing the boy when he was crying with pain and sorrow.

It had been their routine for several nights, and even on some nights, Hinata asked Komaeda if he could stay with him and he always accepted. 

He couldn't leave Hinata in that state, he could never do that to him. 

After a few weeks, Hinata seemed better than before, or at least, he seemed normal. 

Komaeda was glad that Hinata seemed to be doing his usual job and didn't seem bothered at all. 

Once Komaeda was walking around the island by himself, he found Hinata standing in front of him with something behind his back again. 

“Komaeda..” 

Hinata seemed timid, looking down as he was throwing a nonexistent rock with his shoe. 

Komaeda looked at him, tilting his head in confusion as he wondered what the brunette possibly could want from him. 

“Yes, Hinata kun? Is there something bothering you? Are you having another of those painful flashbacks?” Komaeda couldn't help but ask, he was worried about the boy in front of him. 

Hinata shook his head as a small smile appeared on his face. “I appreciate your concern, but it's not that.” Hinata looked up at Komaeda, his smiles now brighter and more genuine. “I just wanted to thank you for all the time you've been there for me. I don't think anyone would've understood me as well as you did. That's why I.. I was feeling more comfortable around you and that I actually could talk about how I really felt this entire time.”

Hinata stepped closer towards the white haired male, revealing a bouquet of hydrangeas and yellow tulips from his back and pushing them towards Komaeda's direction. 

“Thank you, Komaeda. For all these times. I will never forget about it and your kindness.” Hinata smiled at Komaeda brightly again, blushing a bit as he gave the flowers to Komaeda. “I don't even think just these flowers would make it up for everything you did for me.” 

Komaeda looked at him with wide eyes, then he looked at the bouquet in Hinata's hands, the flowers..

There were hydrangeas and yellow tulips.

Hydrangea; they were the symbol of gratitude for being understood. 

It was as if Hinata was showing his sign of gratitude and appreciation not only through words, but also through flowers. 

Komaeda completely understood the meaning, however, he didn't understand one thing.

Why the yellow tulips. 

Yellow tulips; they held the meaning of sunshine in one's smile. 

Komaeda shook his head again. Maybe Hinata was just being kind and gave him the flowers to show his appreciation.

It wasn't like Hinata found his smile beautiful, right? 

Komaeda smiled as he slowly took the flowers, despite the fact that he didn't deserve them and didn't deserve Hinata's gratitude either. “Thank you for these flowers, Hinata kun. You don't have to thank me, I was just doing my job as a st..” He was about to say stepping stone, but he didn't. He didn't want to make Hinata upset by his own twisted mindset and point of view of himself. “As a friend.” 

Komaeda smiled as he saw Hinata smile as well, seemingly relaxed and satisfied by his reaction. 

“I'm glad you liked them.” Hinata chuckled and blushed a bit as he saw Komaeda smiling at him. 

It looked like he chose the right type of flowers.

The next flowers he had received were dark crimson roses and irises.

Komaeda had already known that all the good things came to an end.

A few months had passed when suddenly his illnesses decided to get to him eventually. He had been on his cleaning duty with Mitarai (the real one) when suddenly a bad headache along with a sense of dizziness came to him. He felt blood oozing down his nose before collapsing on the floor, passing out. 

He remembered how Mitarai freaked out and called his name several times. 

Komaeda could barely remember anything, and the only thing he remembered was Hinata's panicked and crying face when he tried to wake him up. 

There was Komaeda on the hospital bed, looking out the window with hollow eyes. 

This was it, wasn't it? This was his end, the time he finally died and left everyone be. 

“Hey..” 

A strained voice could be heard, a voice that belonged to none other than Hinata. 

Komaeda looked at him, he saw how the other's eyes had red rims as if he'd been crying. 

Crying for someone like him..

He also saw that Hinata had another bouquet of flowers in his hand. This time dark crimson roses. 

Komaeda's heart broke when he saw those and how Hinata put them in the vase on the bedside table. 

Dark crimson roses; they were for mourning. 

It was as if Hinata was already readying himself for the loss, for the grief. 

“How are you feeling?” Hinata asked with a strained smile, a smile that didn't even reach his lips let alone his eyes. 

Komaeda could only nod, having nothing to respond. What should he even say? That he was fine, he was doing okay, or he felt like dying already?

“Komaeda..” He felt Hinata grab his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Everything is going to be okay. You're going to be alright. You're going to..” 

“I'm not going to live, Hinata kun. I'm bound to die.” Komaeda cut Hinata off, not wanting to hear the other's empty words.

“Don't say that. You're going to survive. You're going to live. You..” Hinata's smile faltered as he broke, mismatched eyes misty and tears streaming down his beautiful features. “I don't want to lose you..”

Komaeda looked at him with pained eyes, it always hurt him when Hinata was distressed; and it hurt him more that he was the cause of it. 

“Hinata kun..” 

“I can't lose you! I can't. I care about you so much. Don't you dare leave me be! I don't want to be alone! I don't want to lose you as well.” 

Komaeda looked down, feeling more pained by Hinata's broken sobs. He knew fully how Hinata lost people he used to care about, just like him. 

But the thing was, Hinata was not alone; he still had the other ultimate students, they were his friends. 

As Komaeda was about to word his thoughts, Hinata responded first. 

“You're different from everyone else to me. You're special.” 

Komaeda looked at him as Hinata pulled him in a tight embrace, as if the brunette was afraid that he would disappear if he let go. 

Komaeda looked at the flowers again and something caught his sight. 

Irises. 

Irises; they represent faith and hope. 

Komaeda assumed that despite Hinata's mourning, he still had hope that the white haired boy would stay alive, that he still had faith for Komaeda's survival.

Komaeda closed his eyes as he leaned in Hinata's embrace, feeling the brunette's hand cup his cheek and placing his lips on that pale forehead, gently kissing it. 

“Hinata kun..”

He felt Hinata's nose brushing against his, their hot breaths hitting each other's lips. 

“Stay. Please, stay with me, Ko.”

Hinata's hushed tone was the last thing he heard before going into a deep slumber, not feeling the other boy's lips against his as he fell into a deep asleep. 

The next he had received were rosebuds, orchid, and lavender. 

Miraculously, Komaeda survived, he was on remission and he wasn't going to die. 

He didn't know whether to be happy or sad, but when he saw Hinata shedding tears of joy as he hugged him tight, he knew he couldn't be sad anymore. 

He even had every other ultimates paying him a visit, being as kind as they were or trying to be kind enough to pay someone like him a visit. 

Despite the fact he didn't deserve it all. 

After he was released from the hospital, everyone decided to prepare a party for his recovery. After all, “there was only one Nagito Komaeda and no one could ever replace him” was what they said. 

Komaeda was getting ready for the party, despite insisting that they shouldn't prepare something like this and he wasn't much of a party person. However, Hinata insisted that it was all okay and he should come there.. 

As Hinata's partner..

Or maybe he was overreacting again and Hinata was just kind enough to walk him there. 

A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts, looking at himself in the mirror once again as he saw his own reflection. 

He didn't do much, except putting his hair in a high ponytail and wearing a sweater instead of his usual outfit and a new pair of shoes instead of those boots. 

Walking towards the door, he opened it only to reveal Hinata with a long sleeved shirt and dark pants. He didn't do much with his brown spiky hair as they remained the way they were, only a bit longer than before.

Hinata's mismatched eyes sparkled as a blush appeared on his face when he saw Komaeda's feature.

Komaeda also had the same reaction when he saw the beauty itself standing right in front of him. 

Hinata let out a smile as he cleared his throat. “Hi. Uh.. I suppose you're already ready to go, right?” 

Komaeda silently nodded, still starting at Hinata only to look away once he realised how creepy it must've been. 

“Oh. Before we go, I wanted to give you these.” With that said, Hinata gave him another bouquet of flowers. This time, there were rosebuds, orchids, and lavender.

Komaeda's blush deepened as he saw the flowers and the meaning behind them. 

Rosebud; they meant beauty and a heart innocent of love.

Komaeda wasn't sure why Hinata gave him that, since he was neither beautiful nor just an innocent love. 

Was there even love between them?

He knew that they valued the friendship they've had and loved each other dearly as friends, but was there romance in it? 

Orchid; they held the meaning of love and beauty as well. 

Komaeda was getting more and more confused, why was Hinata giving him flowers that either held the meaning of love or beauty, when there was none about him. 

Lavender; they held the meaning of admiration. 

But of what? What did he had to be admired?!

It was probably nothing and again, maybe Hinata was just being a nice friend for bringing him these beautiful flowers. 

Komaeda just smiled as he grabbed the bouquet, showing his appreciation with his smile. “Ah. Thank you for bringing such beautiful flowers for someone like me. I love them.” 

Hinata blushed as he smiled as well, seemingly glad that Komaeda loved his gift. “I'm glad.” 

Komaeda put the flowers inside a vase as he got back to Hinata, who had his hand stretched towards him. “Ready to go?” 

Komaeda smiled as he placed his own hand on the other's, entwining their fingers as they started walking.

“You look beautiful by the way.” Hinata blushed as he looked down at his feet.

It caused Komaeda to blush as well, looking away as he cleared his throat. “Thank you. I appreciate the sentiment.” 

The next he had received were daisies and dandelions.

Then they were gardenias. 

Then gloxinia.. 

Hibiscus..

The routine of Hinata's flower giving kept continuing and Komaeda did nothing to stop them. Each time the brunette gave each type of flowers, Komaeda become more and more confused about the gesture. 

The flowers either meant beauty or love and such thing like these.

Komaeda's head almost hurt. 

He also remembered how Hinata was clingier than usual, always sticking around Komaeda like glue and always asking if he liked to hang out. It wasn't like Komaeda didn't like the company, it was just a bit odd that the brunette chose him constantly over everyone else. 

Hinata also got a bit more protective, every time someone like Saionji (or Soda sometimes but they were more accidents and he immediately apologized after seeing Hinata's harsh glare) threw an insult towards Komaeda, Hinata would immediately warn them to watch their mouth. 

Komaeda thought he needed some time to think, to think what was actually happening. 

As he he was inside his own cottage, sitting on his bed, he saw something slipped inside. 

And finally, he had received a red rose..

Komaeda looked at the red rose with wide eyes, tears starting to gather in his eyes as he slowly picked up the rose, examining it. 

Red rose; love, I love you..

Komaeda didn't understand. Why was Hinata doing this?! Why was he saying this to him? 

Was it just a joke? Was it just a sick prank? Maybe that what it was. Maybe Hinata didn't mean anything by giving him the flowers. 

However, they needed to talk, they had to talk. 

Komaeda knocked on Hinata's door, the red rose in his tight grasp as he waited for Hinata to answer the door. 

Finally, when Hinata opened the door, Komaeda didn't even ask if he could go in or not. 

He pushed himself and Hinata inside. 

“Why?” 

Hinata was confused at first but when he saw the rose in Komaeda's hand, he understood what was going on. 

“Komaeda..” 

“Why are you doing this?! What are you trying to say?!” Komaeda cut him off, feeling more and more confused and conflicted. “I tried to brush it off, but I can't anymore. Why are you trying to make me feel more confused?” 

Komaeda showed the rose to Hinata, tears of anger, confusion, and despair streaming down his face. “If this is a joke, it's not very funny. If Hinata kun doesn't mean anything by these actions, please stop. Stop making me confused, stop giving me the hope I shouldn't have.” 

Komaeda covered his mouth as ugly sobs escaped his lips, he never cried in front of anyone, but Hinata was different. 

It was like he wasn't afraid much when it came to Hinata, sometimes. 

Then, he felt something pull his hand from his mouth and warm lips were pressed against his. Hinata was kissing him with all he had, gentle yet so passionate. 

“It's not a joke..” 

Hinata's voice was strained, pained even as he reluctantly pulled away from the kiss. “I was just afraid to voice out my feelings out loud, so I decided to show them through giving you those flowers. When I gave you pink and white roses, I was telling you that I was happy when I was with you and how worthy you are to be around anyone, especially me. When I gave you hydrangeas, I was showing my gratitude for every time you were there for me since I was never good at saying thank you directly, and I also gave you yellow tulips because your smile is brighter than the actual sunshine, so bright and beautiful that they light up my world.” 

Hinata started to chuckle, tears slowly streamed down his beautiful face. 

“I felt like dying when I saw you unconscious on the floor that day when your illness worked up, I didn't want to lose the only person I've genuinely grown to care about and..” Hinata clutched his chest. “I gave you dark crimson roses because I was mourning about your upcoming fate, but I still had hope. That's why I also gave you irises, because I still hoped that you would survive, that you would stay. And here you are.” 

Hinata laughed through his tears, causing Komaeda's tears to fall faster as well. 

“You look stunning and so beautiful, and you looked even more stunning when I saw you had gotten ready for the party night. That's why I decided to give you rosebuds, orchid and lavender, because I liked you and your beautiful feature. And so on..” 

Hinata looked at the red rose, then into Komaeda's eyes. 

“And the reason I gave you this red rose is because.. I love you. I love you, Nagito Komaeda.” 

Komaeda's eyes widened as he heard those sentences. He couldn't believe what he had just heard because he never thought someone like Hinata would feel that way towards him. 

He felt Hinata's warm hands cup his cheeks as he leaned closer. 

“I thought that you felt the same way, because it looked like you did. Was I wrong?” Hinata's voice trembled. “Was I wrong about us, Ko? Am I too late? Because if I am, you can tell me.” 

Hinata then gave him a trembling smile. “I don't mind if you only want to be friends, as long as you let me stay by your side, I'm fine with it. But please, don't push me away, don't leave me by myself. Because despite everything, despite everything you had done, you're still the boy who woke me up at the beach and stayed by my side the whole time.” 

Hinata started to cry despite trying his best not to. “I'm sorry I was never there for you when you needed someone. I'm sorry I left you alone when you didn't want to. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I understand if you don't forgive me for everything I've done to you, because you deserve to get mad at anyone just like how some people refused to give you a chance.” 

Hinata was sobbing, trying to wipe his tears with one hand as he tried to quiet down his crying. Komaeda was doing the same, crying as he leaned into Hinata's other hand as he did so. 

“There's nothing to forgive, because I was never mad at you.” 

Because there wasn't, Komaeda never felt such thing for Hinata, even when he discovered that Hinata was a reserve course student and him along everyone else were remnants of despair. 

“Don't cry, Hinata kun. You're making me cry as well and how can I calm you down if we both cry like this?” Komaeda smiled through his own tears as he wiped Hinata's, caressing the soft skin of the other's cheeks with his own cold fingers. 

“I'm sorry. I can't help it.” Hinata hiccuped as he looked into Komaeda's tearful eyes with his own. “I just can't stop these feelings I have for you.” 

Komaeda smiled, kissing the tip of Hinata's nose, making both of them blush by the gesture. 

“I know I don't deserve it, but if it makes Hinata kun feel better..” Komaeda smiled more. “I've been truly in love with you.” 

After hearing what Komaeda just said, Hinata couldn't help but smile brightly, pulling the white haired boy in another kiss. 

The next thing Komaeda knew was him being on the bed with Hinata on top of him, not stopping their passionate kissing. Their hands exploring each other's bodies and lips and tongues mingling on one another. 

“Hinata kun..” He couldn't help but moan his name as he felt Hinata's hand on his chest. “Hinata kun..” 

“You're so beautiful, Nagito.” Hinata kissed his neck. “Is this okay?” 

Komaeda smiled as he felt the brunette's lips on his neck. “More than okay.” He caressed Hinata's spiky brown hair with his fingers, closing his eyes as a single tear of pleasure and joy escaped his eye. 

“I want you. I need you, my Nagito.” Hinata wrapped his arms around Komaeda's slim figure, causing the white haired male to wrap his arms around the brunette's neck and his thighs around the other's body. 

And with that, their exploration became deeper, more intimate as the sound of their moans and love making reached through each of their ears. 

Komaeda never felt something this beautiful, this euphoric, this pleasurable. It was all thanks to Hinata and his love and all the flowers he has given to him. 

And Komaeda loved it, just like how he loved him. 

Komaeda decided to answer Hinata's kindness by giving him all the flowers with something extra.

After that night, Hinata and Komaeda became a couple. 

Komaeda never thought he would see the day he would be next to Hinata and hear him say “I love you” to him, let alone calling himself Hajime Hinata's boyfriend. 

However, Komaeda didn't have any problem with that. If anything, he was happy with it and let himself be happy. 

After a while, Komaeda decided to make a garden of flowers and plants, not just because he was interested in gardening, but also he wanted to return Hinata's kindness by giving him a gift. 

Of course, Hinata helped him with the garden as well, feeling as enthusiastic as Komaeda was about it. Komaeda appreciated Hinata's help with the garden and thanked him numerous amount of times, causing Hinata to get flustered of it (which was really cute).

Komaeda was checking on the garden as he felt a gentle kiss on his cheek. Smiling as he knew who it was.

“Hinata kun!” Komaeda giggled as he felt Hinata place another kiss on his cheek. 

“I told you to call me Hajime. I'm your boyfriend, you know?” Hinata huffed as he wrapped his arms around Komaeda's neck. 

“Ahaha! Sorry, Hajime kun. I didn't mean to make you upset.” Komaeda giggled as he heard Hinata let out another huff. 

“There's no need for honorific. Also, you didn't make me upset. I just want you to be comfortable in this relationship.” Hinata nuzzled his neck, placing a few kisses and making Komaeda giggle. 

“Hajime! Ahaha!”

After a few minutes of playful banter (alongside Hinata's teasing gestures), they were sitting on a bench, looking at the view in front of them. 

“Hajime..”

“Hm?”

Hinata was drinking a can of soda as he motioned that he was listening. 

“I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. For how you've made me feel so loved and wanted, and happy.” Komaeda played with his fingers, feeling a bit silly for being embarrassed about it. 

Hinata looked at him with affectionate eyes. “Nagito.. I told you that you don't have to thank me. I did it because I wanted to.” 

Komaeda smiled as he brought out a bouquet of flowers from below the bench (which wasn't smart, but he was lucky that they weren't destroyed), showing them to Hinata with a smile. 

Hinata blushed as he saw the flowers in Komaeda's hand, especially since they were the same flowers he'd been giving to the boy. 

“I wanted to thank you the same as you did. By these flowers.” 

He picked out the white rose. 

“A white rose, because you make me feel worthy of your time.”

He picked out the pink rose. 

“A pink rose, because you make me happy.” 

He picked out the hydrangea. 

“Hydrangea, because you make me feel thankful for being understood.”

He picked out the yellow tulip. 

“Yellow tulip, because your smile is so radiating that it lights up the darkness of my world.” 

He picked out the dark crimson rose. 

“Dark crimson rose, because without you, I feel like nothing.” 

He picked out the irise. 

“Irise, because you make me feel more hopeful.”

Rosebud. 

Orchid. 

Lavender. 

Daisies. 

Dandelions.

Komaeda picked out all the flowers.

And finally, the red rose. 

“And this red rose, because I love you more than anything in the world.”

Komaeda smiled as he looked into Hinata's sparkling mismatched eyes, one jade green and the other ruby red.

“But it's not all, because..” 

And then, he picked out something Hinata didn't expect.

A four leaf clover; holding the meaning of good luck.

“And this four leaf clover, because it represents of our mingled luck and how your luck can cancel mine.” Komaeda giggled as he placed the clover in Hinata's hand. “You are, Hajime Hinata, the lucky star that I've been trying to find all these items.” 

And with that, Hinata started to laugh through the streaming tears, throwing himself to the boy in front of him and hugged him tight. 

“That was the sappiest speech I've ever heard.” Hinata smiled as he looked into Komaeda's eyes. “But I loved it. And..” 

Hinata pulled away from Komaeda a bit, pulling out another flower from behind (which Komaeda hadn't even seen). 

An orange blossom; holding the meaning of eternal love, and marriage.

Komaeda's eyes widened as his blush got deepened, looking at the flower and then Hinata once again. “Hinata kun..?” 

Hinata only smiled as he leaned closer. 

“I don't think I can live a life, let alone having a future without you in it, Nagito Komaeda.” 

And with that, it was Komaeda's turn to throw himself at the boy, kissing Hinata with everything he had with Hinata returning the kiss. 

They didn't care that they were in public, they didn't care if anyone could see them being this close to each other. Nothing mattered.

Nothing, except them, their feelings and this garden of flowers that they had built. 

Because they were together in every way possible, and unlike the flowers, they were sure that their feelings for each other would be everlasting. 

Forever.