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For their third anniversary, Riku takes Yushi home. Not the small apartment they share, but Yushi’s childhood home. It’s sweet and kind and something Riku knows Yushi needs.
The first two years of college doesn’t really give Yushi enough time to do anything but study and try his best to fit in, especially in a foreign country. Yushi stumbles through conversations in Korean with nothing but his very limited knowledge of it, though it’s better now, and with the help of Papago. Some interactions keep him up at night, the embarrassment feeling like match sticks keeping his eyes open, Tom and Jerry style.
That’s where Riku comes into his life, all feline-like smiles and warm hands. Riku gives him that little part of home he needs. Maybe it’s because they share the same mother tongue, or maybe because when they first met, under the library lights, Riku looks like someone he’s bound to love for the rest of his life. The rest is history.
Right now, Yushi is having the time of his life huddling close to Riku’s warmth as they walk to a fancy restaurant Riku has reserved for them. Yushi stutters a What, you don’t have to when Riku tells him about their dinner plan. Riku just says I know, I still want to do it with you back.
It’s a five-minute walk from their bus stop and they use it to talk about everything, even months old topics that don’t have any relevance anymore. Yushi feels like a protagonist in a romcom movie, walking with the love of his life to do what couples in love do. The thought brings a fresh flush on his face, warming him a little from the cold weather.
“I can’t wait to eat,” Yushi quips, mostly to himself.
But Yushi knows that Riku hears him, always so attuned to everything Yushi does. Riku replies a low Yeah? in the same tone he uses every time he thinks Yushi’s being cute. It used to fluster him, but now he preens at the attention. Riku smiles down at Yushi, tucking a few strands of Yushi’s hair back from his face. It’s sweet. Riku is sweet.
When they’re finally seated, Yushi can’t help admiring the interior. It screams fancy restaurant, from the decorations on the table and the waiters with fancy suits. Yushi thinks this must be what rich people experience every day. He doesn’t realize he’s saying his thoughts out loud until Riku laughs.
“You’re so cute,” Riku whines, like Yushi being Yushi is physically hurting him. “I would’ve taken you to more fancy dates if I knew you love it this much.”
“No, no,” Yushi quickly stops Riku. “We’re college students, we can’t afford this more than once every two years.”
“I don’t mind paying for it, you know.” There’s a glint in Riku’s eyes, something teasing and Yushi rolls his eyes.
Riku always does this, always openly saying that he wants to take care of Yushi. Some days it lands as a joke, but other days, it settles deep into Yushi’s chest until he’s filled with things he isn’t supposed to feel. At least not yet.
Like wanting to grow old with Riku in a humble home, maybe adopt a cat or two, each that reminds them of each other. Maybe there will be tiny little human beings running around the house. Like looking at the way time has softly aged Riku, under his eyes and on his mop of black hair, and thinking that that’s how he wants to leave the world, with Riku still by his side.
Yushi shakes the thought away as quick as it comes. He’s getting ahead of himself. Yushi brushes off Riku’s comment as a joke, not without blushing again, which gives Riku more material to tease him with.
The food, with that kind of price in this economy, isn’t bad. Yushi has tasted better food with cheaper prices, but he’s here with Riku so it doesn’t really matter. Not when he gets to look across the table and watch him talk about the things that make his eyes shine with life in them. Yushi will never get tired of the sight.
They finish their food in under fifteen minutes, turning out hungrier than they both expected. They spend the rest of their time talking again.
It’s something Yushi realizes has changed about him since Riku. Yushi isn’t a big talker, he prefers to be the one who listens. Their dynamic used to be like that, still is at times, but Yushi has learned that he loves talking to Riku. About anything that crosses his mind, a memory he has from before they even met, and things that he used to keep to himself. It’s easy with Riku.
Riku suggests getting some wine, something they both enjoy. They don’t really drink much, mostly cheap alcohol after every single time they survive hell on earth that is exam weeks. This time it’s different because they’re drinking wine that comes in one of those expensive looking bottles. The wine is rich like it’s been fermented since before his grandparents’ time, and not manufactured in a factory by money hungry people.
The waiter pours for the both of them and Yushi fails to hold in his giggles at how grown it all feels. He’s used to only seeing this in movies, so it feels weird to actually live it. Riku coos at him, saying something about how happy he is that Yushi is happy. Very sappy stuff like that.
“Cheers,” Riku holds his glass up. “To three years of being together.”
Yushi laughs again, his stomach tickles from happiness. Yushi’s glass clinks as it meets Riku’s in the middle. “And to many more.”
Their faces scrunch up at the same time on the first gulp, already feeling the difference between the cheap ones they’re used to consuming. Yushi can feel it trickling warmth down his throat, his hand is warm too from where Riku’s holding it. Yushi doesn’t even realize they’re holding hands.
Yushi feels the way Riku’s fingers circle around his ring finger, a habit he’s recently started doing. It makes him flinch the first time it happens because of how the gesture looks too similar to something else. Yushi remembers mentally slapping himself for even thinking about it. They’re college students with so much ahead of them. They still have time, no matter how appealing the thought is.
But tonight Riku doesn’t look like he’s doing it because he’s bored. Yushi doesn’t know Riku better than Riku knows himself, but he likes to think that he knows enough. Especially when there’s a sudden shift in his mood, like right now.
“Yushi,” Riku starts shakily. Yushi doesn’t point it out because he starts feeling nervous too. “Are you happy with me?”
Yushi makes a face, and he knows he’s making a face because Riku smiles. He still looks a little tense, but at least he’s smiling now. It’s not something Riku’s asking him for the first time, but something about this one feels a little more weighted.
Is Yushi happy with Riku? Probably the happiest he’s ever been. Not that he has anything to compare it too. Yushi knows a thing or two about first loves, and Riku is definitely his. If anything, Yushi’s supposed to be the one asking Riku that. But Riku has always been the more open one between the two of them, so Yushi doesn’t feel like he has to ask.
“Yes,” Yushi breathes out. “Extremely. Are you happy with me?”
“Extremely,” Riku parrots him.
Yushi knows he isn’t just saying it because the hold on his hand tightens and Riku’s eyes soften. There’s a look on his face that seems like he doesn’t expect Yushi to ask him back, but his answer feels genuine, just like everything he does.
Yushi feels Riku’s hand clamps up in his hold as his other hand reaches for something in his pocket. Yushi feels his heartbeat quicken. Then he sees it, a small velvet box, and he can feel his heartbeat everywhere, in his chest, throat, ears, and even under his fingertips. Yushi wonders if Riku feels it too.
“Riku…” Yushi breathes out. “What…”
“It’s not what you think,” Riku laughs, shaking off his own nerves. “Not yet, at least.” Yushi laughs with him.
“Then what are you…”
“I’m not proposing to you right now, but I would love to do it one day.” Riku opens the box where a ring is sitting on. With trembling fingers, Riku takes it and slides the ring on Yushi’s finger. It fits perfectly. “So until that day comes, this is my promise to you. That I want to grow old with you. I want it to be you.”
Yushi admires the way the ring sits on his finger. It doesn’t look out of place or awkward, it’s like it’s always meant to be there. Then he looks up at Riku, his eyes sparkle with affection and Yushi feels happy. He can feel it from the tips of his hair to his toes. It’s a familiar feeling to have around Riku.
“Yes,” Yushi nods. “Yes, yes, yes.” Riku laughs, a full belly laugh that settles inside Yushi like a warm hug. “I don’t know what to say…”
All this time, Yushi always slaps himself from thinking such thoughts, about their lives together, but he never stops to think that Riku wants it just as much. It feels nice, it feels really nice.
“Can I?” Yushi points at the other ring on the box, presumably for Riku. Riku nods, a shy smile forming on his pretty face.
Yushi is no better than Riku, he slides the ring on Riku’s finger shakily. There’s a lull in the air when they
“That’s okay,” Riku hums, petting Yushi’s head softly. “As long as you want this too.”
“I do,” Yushi answers, then flushes at his choice of words. “I-I mean yes. I want it to be you too.”
“I really want to kiss you right now, but,” Riku chuckles, pointing down at the table separating them. “Do you want to head home?”
Yushi nods, because he also feels like he’s too far away from Riku right now. If he could, he wants to stick to Riku as close as possible, even crawl under his skin if possible.
When they step outside, the wind is still cold and Riku immediately pulls him closer. Riku holds his hand and puts them in the pocket of his coat. Yushi can feel the ring move around his finger and can’t help the giddiness that runs through his body.
Yushi carries Riku’s affection with him every day. On the matching clothes Riku buys for them, the matching necklace that he never takes off, or the lingering feeling of Riku’s lips on his as they cheer each other up before going through every day.
Now, he gets to wear Riku’s promise around his finger. The promise that they’ll grow old and tired together. And when he looks at Riku, he can see his own promise sitting prettily around his finger.
“When did you even get the rings?”
“While we’re still in Korea.”
“How did you know my ring size? I barely wear rings.”
Riku looks at Yushi like he doesn’t understand a word he’s saying. “Yushi, I’ve spent the last three years holding your hand every day.”
“Wha–so you just guessed it?”
“Well, yeah.” Riku only smiles smugly and nods. “It’s perfect, right?” It is, Yushi thinks, everything about this moment is.
Yushi feels overwhelmed by his feelings. About Riku guessing his ring size based on how his hand feels on his. About knowing that Riku feels the same way as him. About the want in his chest getting heavier now that they have promised each other.
So Yushi kisses Riku, a silent Thank you and I love you, I want you in my life forever. When Riku kisses him back, Yushi feel the words back on his lips.