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The classroom was spinning.
Nakamura’s pulse was rushing.
He read the text he had written for the fifth time.
“Can we talk after school in the park?”
He felt like he was going to throw up.
He had planned this.
He had been thinking of how to confess to Hirose since before the first time they talked.
His palms were sweaty and his legs felt weak.
He flinched at the sound of his phone.
“Ok” was Hirose’s response.
Now all he had to do was wait for the end of the day.
His time at school felt like a blur.
But it was finally over.
Now came the more difficult part.
He stumbled out the door with his school bag.
He reached the park and sat down on the nearest bench.
He let out a deep sigh.
Oh, gosh he was here already.
“Hey!” Hirose said energetically as he sat down next to him.
Nakamura smiled to stop himself from screaming.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Hirose asked with an eyebrow slightly raised.
It took everything in him to not stop and let his soft features soak into his memory.
“I-I...uh.” Nakamura stammered.
He could hear his heartbeat in his ears.
Then he remembered the aquarium.
How Hirose had told him to be open about his feelings.
Hirose looked at him expectantly.
“I..I like you.” The words were quiet but comprehensible. “I’ve liked you for a long time now.” He refused to make eye contact with Hirose.
The silence was devastatingly loud.
“Oh.” Was all he could muster up.
The single word rang through Nakamura’s ears like a piercing whistle.
He turned his head slightly to look at him.
Hirose did not.
“I..don’t know if I feel the same way.”
The concise statement felt suffocating.
It felt surreal.
Nakamura had gone over this part in his head a million times,
and not a single time had this happened.
A few seconds of silence passed by.
“I’m sorry.” Hirose said while still not looking at him.
“Don’t be sorry.” Nakamura replied quickly and almost shakily.
That made Hirose smile
For the first time his smile wasn’t soothing.
“I just rejected your confession and you’re still caring about my feelings.”
Hirose took a pause.
“That’s one of the reasons why I’m not sure that I don’t like you back.”
Wait, what?
Nakamura turned his head rapidly to face him.
Hirose laughed as if the young man beside him wasn’t about to freak out.
“Whenever we talk or when you do something for me I get this weird feeling in my stomach. It’s not a bad feeling I’ve just never felt that way for a guy before, so I assumed it was nothing.”
He looked down at his feet.
“I mean, I’ve thought before that I might like you but I never thought about it for more than two seconds. I always thought it was just me overthinking things so I ignored it ‘cause I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship.”
There were a billion and one thoughts racing through Nakamura’s head.
None of them were coherent because he was only focused on Hirose.
“But I don’t feel the same way about you that I feel with my other friends. I don’t think of them how I think of you. I guess I got so used to ignoring my feelings that I don’t even understand them anymore.”
On his last sentence his voice got quieter.
Nakamura’s gaze softened despite his racing heart.
His hand inched closer to Hirose’s.
Soon they were softly intertwined.
Hirose turned his head and looked at him.
His stare spoke everything that he couldn’t.
His accidental longing.
His unintentional yearning.
“Maybe I do like you.” He whispered loud enough for Nakamura to hear.