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Emotions-
Wild and unpredictable
Reactions based on an Individual’s circumstance and state of survival.
Or at least that’s what Impulse originally thought.
Being a borrower he grew up in fear.
And fear was a natural survival instinct, it kept you alive and hidden.
Even among other borrowers all other emotions were secondary to the constant state of fear.
Then when Impulse got caught…
his fear became a secondary constant, often paired with either hopelessness or depression.
And that was normal.
Until…. At least…
he met Skizz.
The human who got him out of his cage and promised he’s never be in another one.
The human who cared enough to make sure Impulse had proper clothing and food.
The human who would wake up in the middle of the night to comfort Impulse after having a nightmare.
The human who Impulse started to fondly call His own.
And not in the sense of ownership but as genuine friends.
Skizz was the man who showed Impulse that life wasn’t just about survival.
He actually had a whole diagram shaped like a pyramid with all the essential aspects needed for life.
-food, warmth, survival
-shelter and safety
-love and belonging
-esteem
-self actualization
And Impulse saw just how little he had been living before.
And now he could comfortably say he was on the love and belonging level.
Skizz was family now, like a big brother always looking out for him.
Someone who taught Impulse to live despite his fears.
To grow up in love and kindness instead
But all of that said and done.
Impulse was still a novice when it came to emotions.
So there was no chance he was qualified to help when Skizz came home one day from work, looking like a hollowed out zombie.
“Skizz??? Are you okay?”
His Human only nodded before going from the foyer to couch and flopping down face down into the cushions.
Impulse wasn’t an expert at emotions, but he wasn’t an idiot- Skizz clearly wasn’t okay.
Thankful the borrower was highly skilled at moving around their apartment with relative ease,
Walking across shelves and scaling up the sides of furniture.
Until he was on the couch right next to his best friend’s ear.
“Skizz?”
“Mm-“
“Dude what happened to you?”
“It’s n’thing bud- d’nt worry bout it-“ his voice was half muffled through the couch cushions which only validated Impulse’s worry all the more-
“It’s not nothing Skizz- you’re sad… something happened today didn’t it-?”
His human took a let out a long sign before he turned his head to the side to face the borrower.
“I don’t really want to talk about it Impy…” the Giant’s voice was kept soft but Impulse still heard the strain in his friend’s voice.
Now caught between wanting to help while also respecting Skizz’s boundaries. Impulse felt helpless all over again-
After all Skizz had respected Impulse’s boundaries when he didn’t want to talk about his own traumas.
So what could he do then???
“Can…. I sit here with you?”
Tried deep blue eyes seemed to contemplate for a moment before the human slowly nodded and brought his calloused hand up behind Impulse naturally.
The borrower sat down crisscrossed and let himself lean back against the hand.
They sat in the silence for a moment longer before Skizz’s eyes slowly drooped closed.
“Hey.. em… Skizz…?”
“Yeah Impy?” He mumbled back-
“Would you be okay if I… just… talked at you?”
“M’yeah… I guess so-“
“Have I told you… bout my Mom much?”
Skizz’s brow furrowed before shaking his head slowly- “no you-…. You don’t talk about your family much-“
Impulse swallowed hard, if he wanted Skizz to open up more it might help if he did too-
.. hopefully-
“Well…. It can be hard for me to talk about them but…. You’re my family now too, I…. I- want you to know about them.”
“I-… .. am?” Skizz’s voice seemed to perk up a bit as his fingers curled more inward towards his borrower.
Impulse nodded lightly touching one of Skizz’s fingers.
“Yeah… y’know… love and belonging and all that-… I’m safe with you… so your family too-“
“Buddy-“
“Can I tell you bout my Mom?”
“Yea-… of course-“ Skizz looked a little less dead now which raised Impulse’s hopes and urged him to push forward
“She was creative- kept our whole family fed with what we could scavenge and made our home feel like… a real home, with beds and a kitchen … sorta… she also kept all three of us kids clothed in warm cloths every winter-“
“You have siblings?-“
“Oh- um yeah two brothers… both younger… their names were Tango and Bdubs.
They were….
…
They-……” Impulse’s voice caught in his throat at the thought of his brothers in the past tense.
But it was far more painful to believe that they were still alive out there, probably just like Impulse had been-
Living in fear with no way out.
“Hey dude…” Skizz’s thumb came up and brushed Impulse shoulder gently “don’t feel like you have to talk about them if you’re not ready- really it’s okay.”
“B-but I want you to know bout them- so-… so you don’t feel sad…. They always made my bad feelings feel less bad so I just thought-“
“Impulse, you don’t have to try and make me feel better, please I love hearing you talk about your family but don’t force it-“
“But you’re upset and I don’t know how else to help!”
Impulse’s voice came out sharper than he originally intended it too, and his eyes went wide as it did.
“I’m sorry I didn’t-“
Skizz’s hand came fully around Impulse, scooping up the borrower into his palm before pushing himself up into more of a sitting position.
Impulse stared up at his Human with worry stirring in his heart-
Did he push too far?
It probably was
He messed up
Now Skizz won’t want to be near him anymore
And-!
“I just had a rough day at work today Impy, my co-workers… and bosses…. Rely on me a lot… but it just gets overwhelming after time.”
“How can I help you feel better?? I’m not good at this whole emotions thing-“
“You’re doing it dude- just talking to you is already livening me up-“ Skizz smiled down at his small friend but somehow Impulse knew it was too forced to be a real smile.
“You didn’t want to talk before though Skizz- you only started because you were trying to make me feel better.”
“Well I was just-… just-…”
The giant fell silent-
“Just what Skizz?? Look I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, and helpless in a situation”
As the Borrower spoke his Human’s eyes widened in surprise.
“but if you taught me anything, it’s that we don’t have to live in those terrible emotions. There is more to life than stress and just trying to survive.”
Skizz’s thumb found its way back over to Impulse’s rubbing his arm in a familiar way.
“Who said you’re not good with emotions dude?”
“Wha-? No one, wait Skizz! Don’t just ignore what I said!”
And then Skizz had the nerve to smile, softer thing time but it still caused his eyes to wrinkle and it sent warmth through Impulse’s whole body and he knew it was a real smile this time-
“Impy I’m- I’m not dodging, promise just- that was what I needed to hear dude, so thank you.”
“I-… wait it was?”
“Mhm- your good at empathizing buddy, it helped.”
“Oh- well… that’s… that’s good… I’m glad.”
“Me too…hey wanna watch a movie dude? Heard there’s a new one on Netflix that’s supposed to be really good-“
“Yeah I’d really like that, what’s the movie called?”
“ it’s like K-pop Demon Killers or something like that-“
“Oh ummm”
“Dude I’ve heard nothing but good things about it- give it a chance.”
“Finnneee, but I might just fall asleep if it’s too boring.”
“Deal-“
Skizz turned on the TV as Impulse climbed up his Human’s arm before getting comfortable on his shoulder.
Neither of them were particular Masters when it came to emotions.
but they had each other.
And that’s all they really needed.