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James Rhodes didn't know that he'd ever regretted something like he regretted convincing Tony to learn Morse Code.
It had been entirely his idea, is the worst of it - Tony had scoffed at the utility, at first. Mr. High-tech Genius had written it off as obsolete, an outdated method of communication anyone could intercept and decrypt - and that no one would bother to. But Rhodey had insisted. They'd dealt with all sorts of strange things in recent times, things with tech like they'd never seen that could render all of their fancy hardware no more than thick metal cages in the blink of an eye. It was a good idea, Rhodey had argued, to have a backup, something with ready utility that could be transmitted long distances with little technology.
He just... trying to reach Tony, with no idea where he was and no way to talk to him... he didn't want it to happen again, was all.
But leave it to Tony, of course, to find ways to use things he'd have never thought of.
Publicly.
During one of the longest meetings with the General for months.
He blamed himself, really. Not just for the Morse Code lessons, but for counting on Tony to actually behave himself throughout Major Frederick's three-hour (and counting) briefing regarding the latest investigations into the deactivated missiles that had gone missing several months ago. An old stock of Stark weaponry, Tony had been only too happy to help the military keep them from being used. Rhodey had been - well, obviously, he hadn't exactly been pleased at the whole 'missiles stolen by shady forces' thing, but it had been an unexpected silver lining to see Tony cooperating with the military, given the growing contingent of voices at the Pentagon calling for Iron Man suits of their own. It had given him a stronger position, doing his best to keep their hands away from Tony's work. These briefings were an important part of that. Really, they were.
But. Rhodey knew as well as Tony did that if they'd discovered any hint as to their whereabouts, they'd have been informed right away, and Tony had more than once expressed his lack of patience with the Major "taking a whole day to say nothing," as it were. And Rhodey... well, Rhodey could sympathize, increasingly so once they'd hit the two hour mark.
Still, though. The other man couldn't have picked something... anything... a little less... distracting?
'Hey hot stuff, I'm bored.'
It had taken Rhodey a little while to recognize the message for what it was, or even to notice that Tony's fidgeting had any more meaning than his usual boredom, but Rhodey was a clever man, and when he'd realized the meaning of the hand switching behind Tony's oddly rhythmic finger tapping, switching between each word, well... Rhodey really wished he hadn't brought that cup of water after all.
"Are you all right, Colonel Rhodes?" the Major asked.
"Fine, fine-" he shot Tony a look. "Just got it down the wrong pipe."
'That's not what he said,' Tony tapped back, unrepentant, and only grinned at the glare Rhodey shot him.
"So, regarding the negotiation?" Rhodey prompted, hoping to steer the topic back on track - and bring it to a close that much sooner.
"Ah, yes, well," the Major continued "We've had some luck with our investigation, but unfortunately, it seems that many are still being traded. If you'll turn your attention to this page..."
'Why is Major Bore still going on about missiles?' Tony tapped, eyes carefully schooled on the General as he feigned paying attention. 'The only missile I care about is yours.'
Rhodey carefully folded his hands in front of him, fingers tight around each other.
"You'll see that we've found-"
'Wait, and mine. Mine too.'
Rhodey cleared his throat. Tony took a sip of his own water with an insufferably smug look, fingers tapping on the glass - 'How long has he been talking? If we were having sex, we could be almost done by now.'
... okay, Rhodey turned a little red at that a little. And maybe, despite himself, he raised a finger to tap back - only to stop at the General broke into a coughing fit, remembering their surroundings once more.
Tony grinned. 'Almost got you there.'
Rhodey pointedly did not look at him. Not even as Tony, unabashed, continued - 'I can see it now. You, me, that uniform with all the medals laying on the floor...'
Rhodey couldn't even pretend to be paying attention to the presenter at this point, fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat and just hoping the General wasn't noticing any of his reaction.
'And when we get out of here, I'm going to-'
"General White? Are you okay?" Major Frederick interrupted himself, and Rhodey finally dared a glance to see the General staring at the two of them with a deeply suspicious look. Rhodey's mouth suddenly felt very dry. Even Tony seemed to realize, hastily folding his hands in front of him.
"Uh, about the cache you've been tracking in - what was it, Afghanistan?" Tony asked hastily.
Seemingly satisfied, the General returned his gaze to the presentation before them, and the rest of the meeting went blessedly without incident.
That was, of course, until, when it was finally over, a young woman approached them.
"Mr. Stark?" she asked, looking visibly flustered and not making eye contact. Rhodey and Tony shot each other quick glances before Tony put on his best people-pleasing smile, leaning against the table.
"Yes?" Tony asked.
"The General has asked me to inform you that while he's very flattered, he'd really prefer you please didn't flirt with him during meetings."
... this time, Rhodey didn't even try to hide his laughter.