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Emma woke up, chest heaving – desperate, heavy, gasping breaths, as if she’d been underwater for too long.
She had fallen asleep on the couch again. Not because her girlfriend was forcing her to sleep there, but because she had been getting in from work, doing the necessary tasks round the house, eating, and then collapsing into the couch to watch whatever Henry was watching. And yes, whilst she did pester him with annoying, repetitive questions just to annoy him every so often, she enjoyed it.
Most of the time, Regina would join them – gently tapping Emma’s forehead with her forefinger to signal her to lift her head up, so she could slip beneath and give her a head massage. This was normally what sent her to sleep. A comfortable lap pillow, some TV show she didn’t particularly care about, and an understaffed Sheriffs station – recipe for a good night sleep.
The only down side to this arrangement was the fact that eventually, everyone else went to bed too. Regina had given up with attempting to rouse her due to the fact that she was out like a light most nights, almost impossible to wake up.
Between her mix of almost constant insomnia and her bouts of complete exhaustion, once she was out, she was out.
She took a deep breath. And then looked around the dark living room, and was instantly paranoid. She hated the dark with a passion – her mind concocted dark creatures that lay waiting in the shadows, and she was too scared to even move. Luckily, Regina knew her well enough to have left the hallway light on, so, logically, she grabbed her phone and ran for the hallway without looking back.
She checked the time. Only 12:47pm.
She wanted Regina.
She wanted her girlfriend, the comfort of her presence, the security of it – but Regina was strict about her bed times, and she didn’t know if she would be okay with her climbing into bed at nearly 1am. She had always either already been in the bed, or been invited in. She was crippled with indecision.
Regardless, she climbed the stairs, her thought process one of a dejected toddler who had been left asleep in the car by their parental figures?
“How dare she leave me alone. I’m going to bite her… but like, affectionately. Eating people is a form of love. Damn, this sleep deprivation is making me crazy.”
She stood outside of their bedroom door, and just waited for a minute, trying to gauge whether Regina was awake or not. She was looking for a rustle of a book, or the shift of her duvet – hell, even if the lamp was on. She felt 6 years old again, too scared to knock, or open the door to ask for help. All she wanted was sleep, and her girlfriend could provide it.
A minute turned to two. And then four, and then six, and then she had been standing out there for ten minutes, working herself up into a state.
She wouldn’t care if she came in, right? She wouldn’t mind, if she didn’t wake her up? She could just not touch and wake her, and she could still sleep in the same bed as her?
She was panicking herself. It was pathetic, but she was tired, so she just let it happen.
Then she just pushed the door open whilst trying not to think about it. All would be fine, she had decided, with her trembling breaths and shaking hands.
When she opened the door, she was met with a cute sight. Her girlfriend was awake, sitting with the little lamp on – reading the newest book in her collection.
She looked up when the door opened, and then her mouth morphed into a smile when she saw her girlfriend on the other side. And then she paused, because she looked strangely close to tears, with her hair all mussed up from her previous sleep, and her face pale, the terrified look in her eyes.
“Darling.” she started, putting her book down to focus her full attention on the other woman.
“Is it okay- can I come sleep in here? With you?” the blonde blurted out, voice cracked and raw. She just wanted to lay down, with Regina, and be comfortable, and she had worked herself up before coming in. She just needed sleep.
Regina smiled softly, and nodded, even pulling back the covers for her. She could never say no to that face.
“Of course it’s okay. I couldn’t sleep any way.” she replied calmly – a rock in Emma’s storm.
She couldn’t be across the room fast enough. Within the space of a few seconds, she was in the bed and curled up tightly beside her girlfriend, trembling slightly as she attempted to calm herself down.
It helped now that she was with company. Regina ran her hand through the blonde’s hair, soothing her without even fully realising the extent of it.
Whilst yes, she did know that her girlfriend sometimes suffered from night terrors, she knew that this wasn’t the same panic. She just needed a few minutes to self-regulate, and she’d be right as rain again.
Regina didn’t pick up her book again. They sat in silence, Emma’s breathing slowly evening out until eventually she was slumped against the brunette. Regina smiled, chuckling softly, before reaching over to shut off the lamp – holding the blonde close, and drifting to sleep herself.