Chapter Text
Lee Chan's fingers hung over his mouse, the blinking cursor on his laptop hovering over the 'refresh' button in the corner of the screen. He had been continuously clicking it since six in the morning to deep into the afternoon, rays of light peeked through his slightly open blinds, illuminating the dimly lit room as Chan continued to run back and forth to his laptop after every errand he completed, from washing his own dirty laundry and even his roommate's, to hoovering and mopping the small dorm; he attempted every possible thing to avoid sitting anxiously at his desk and just waiting. He hated waiting.
A couple months ago, he had placed a request for a scholarship at an university in New York, the well renowned Julliard. He was aware that his chances to get into the school were slim, and his chance of getting a full scholarship was even slimmer, but he hoped his long list of experiences and rewards would somehow give him a better shot in attending one of the most prestigious universities in the Performing Arts field.
The sun had begun its descent by the time Chan slipped back into his wooden chair that rocked and creaked whenever he slightly adjusted his position. He could feel a light tremor in his hand as he pushed his index finger down on the button, a light clicking noise filled the silence choking him.
It wasn't until the website sprang to life and shouted: 'you've got mail' that Chan's shoulders relaxed and he let out a breath he didn't remember holding.
In his inbox, a single unread email glinted back at him, its sender the person he had been waiting to hear from all day. With a slight shake in his breath, he moved his cursor over the email; Chan's own heartbeat overwhelmed his senses, the heavy thumps of blood rushing to his brain and the uncomfortable perspiration of his palms.
Before allowing himself to click on the dreaded message, he ran a shaky hand through his dyed hair, making a quick note to cut it soon as his roots started to peek through the dyed blond and the length just reached his shoulders. With a quick wipe of his hands against his jeans, Chan internally attempted to hype himself up, a usually foolproof way of getting himself to feel more confident in any situation. It was now, however, not working.
With a burst of confidence, Chan pushed his finger against the button, his entire screen lighting up with a block of white while a small, blue loading symbol spun around in the centre. It wasn't long until something loaded, but Chan was a little more than disappointed when a pixelated dinosaur and text that read that he had no Internet appeared.
Chan's eyes widened and his hands quickly grabbed at the sides of his laptop, shaking it lightly and whispering quiet curses at the dormitory's wifi for being so bad. His small tantrum is quickly paused by the sound of a key being pushed into his door's lock, before it swung open. Chan watched from his chair as the door handle smacked into the wall, the once small dent in the wall growing bigger with every slam.
Chwe Hansol, an American exchange student who the girls in college paid more attention to then the lessons themselves, bursted through the door, a stack of green crates held in his arms. Chan couldn't quite see what were in the crates but assumed it was an alcohol of sort, either way he assumed it was obviously heavy from the beads of sweat on Hansol's face and the way the veins in his arms popped out angrily under the pressure.
He watched from his chair silently as Hansol dropped the crates onto a bed filling the room with a cacophany of glass bottles smacking together, the entire bed frame wobbled and creaked under the sudden weight of the drinks.
"I hope you're planning on moving those from my bed." Chan stated calmly, he crossed his arms and leaned back on his chair, his eyes stuck onto Hansol's shocked expression who had obviously not seen the younger man in his journey from the door to the bed. He nodded softly, grunting while picking up the crates again, lugging them over to his own bed which whined out in response.
A little winded, Hansol ran his hand through his dark, brunette hair before taking a seat on the edge of his own bed, sighing gently from his impromptu work out session.
Hansol had moved to South Korea only a year prior, his Korean was good but lacking in certain situations and somehow he had almost the entire female student body throwing themselves at him while still staying single for the entirety of his time living there. Although it wasn't like he could exactly comment on Hansol's relationship status when Chan himself would rather spend his time cooped up in a dance studio then going out meeting potential dates.
It wasn't until Hansol shifted in his seat uncomfortably that Chan had noticed his was staring, or rather zoning out, in his direction. "What?" He asked.
Chan blinked at his question, gaze drifting back to the crates sitting on the bed beside the older boy. "What's with all the bottles?" He asked, raising an eyebrow in his direction.
Hansol's mouth morphed into the shape of an 'o', his focus flicking between Chan and the dozens of bottles beside him. He ran another hand through his hair, he did that a lot when he was nervous, or tired, or doing literally anything where he was idle for too long. It was a surprise that his hair wasn't always greasy. "I ran into Soonyoung on the way up, he passed me these and told me to bring them to a party in like an hour, ran off shouting that his mom would kill him if he kept them." He shrugged, knocking one of his arms into the crates. "Didn't get much of a choice."
Chan scrunched up his face in confusion wondering how the two things could be related. "Soonyoung stays in the room below us, unless his mom is visiting, why would he need to get rid of it?" Hansol shrugged again, repositioning himself to let his bad rest against the white wall. "Also since when were you two friends? It's not like your social circles exactly overlap other than with me."
"We're not." Hansol stated simply, his hands fished into his back pocket for his phone which he placed gently on the nightstand, sighing softly. "He's been trying to invite me to parties since I first got here though, I'm assuming this is just a ploy to get me there finally." He nudged the crate with his foot, a soft clashing of glass ringing out. Chan hummed in response, turning back to his long forgotten laptop screen, the pixelated dinosaur still looking back at him. He furrowed his brows as he remembered what awaited him, he refreshed the page for the final time, holding his breath while it reloaded.
Within the time that the page took to load, Hansol had moved from his bed to stand behind Chan, clearly curious about what was stressing out the younger boy so much. It took a few more seconds until the entire email appeared before them, and it wasn't long until worry turned into disappointment when both of their gazes focused on the word 'unfortunately' opening up the long email explaining that he would not be getting the scholarship that would change his life in all the ways that mattered.
Defeated, Chan sighed and lowered his screen, the email still lighting up against the keyboard before closing shut with a thud. A sudden hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing sympathetically in an act of comforting. "I'm alright, just a little disappointed." He frowned and traced the Windows logo on his laptop, the material shiny and smooth under his fingertips.
Hansol sighed loudly, squeezing his shoulder once again while he tried to form the right words to say. "I know you weren't expecting to get in, and that this entire thing was sort of a shot in the dark. But I really thought you were going to be able to do it, you're unbelievably talented."
Chan chuckled dryly, but still smiled, thankful for the compliment. "Thanks hyung, but I think I just want to move past it. There'll be plenty of other schools I can go to, just would've been cool if I could've gone there." He smiled weakly, shrugging his shoulders and making Hansol drop his hand to his side, a small frown on his face.
Without saying anything, Hansol moved over to his bed and pulled off the top crate from the pile, bottles shaking and smacking together. He silently walked over to Chan and dumped it on his lap, earning a surprised grunt from the smaller of the two. "What was that for?"
"You saw me walking in here, I'm gonna need help lugging this to their apartment. They're not even students, I can't carry these all the way to their place." Hansol whined, dropping to his knees and bowing in a mock attempt of begging. Chan moved his leg to kick at him, missing barely by a few inches which earned a laugh from the older roommate. "Is that a yes?"
Chan sighed dramatically, and placed his fingers into the handles of the box, heaving it up with another loud, exasperated sigh. "...Yes."
Hansol stood up quickly and wrapped his arms around Chan's neck, squeezing tightly while repeating 'thank you' continuously until the younger one landed a light kick to the boy's shin to get him off.
It was strange to see his roommate with so much energy, usually whenever they saw each other it would be Chan's job to keep the excitement levels high. Never the other way around. It quickly occurred to him that this could be Hansol's attempt at comforting him, that he felt that it was his job to hold up the energy in their interactions, the gesture made Chan's heart feel warm and a geniune smile graced his face.
***
It took them around twenty minutes to navigate themselves out of the university and to the party host's apartment. Thankfully for Hansol, Chan had visited the place a few times before engaging in a little partying thanks to his own friends inviting him, he made a mental note to go looking for them when it began, he was certain that they would show up at some point.
On the fifth floor of an elevator-less apartment complex, the two exhausted roommates shuffled down the hallway, pausing just outside of a door, music already blaring from inside.
Just as Hansol shifted the crate in his arms to allow him to knock on the door, Chan stopped him, quickly stepping in front and guarding it. Hansol furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, readjusting the box's placement in his arms to be more comfortable. "Just before you go in, don't drink anything that's not in a bottle or can, don't go into any of the bedrooms and uh- Stay safe?" His tone shifted into a question, a worried smile on his face while he watched his roommate nod slowly, an obvious hint of apprehension in his expression.
Chan placed his crate on top of Hansol's and raised his fist to knock on the door, giving his friend a quick glance before smacking his knuckles against the wood roughly before moving his other hand to the doorknob, pushing it open sharply.
The smell of alcohol and weed poured out of the door, a thick fog of smoke creeping out with it. Chan noticed a quiet cough behind him which he decided to ignore, this was something Hansol was going to have to get used to if he planned to stay more than ten minutes.
It was barely a few seconds until arms crept around Chan, pulling him past the threshold with Hansol close behind, grunting quietly over the large load in his hands. Initially, Chan had planned on helping him carry them in, but the current arms holding him tightly thwarted his attempts on actually being helpful.
It took him a few seconds to recognise the person embracing him, his hair a bright shade of red compared to his usual brown. Yoon Jeonghan, current resident of the very apartment they were stood in, college dropout but easily one of the most memorable students. Most students knew who he was, even if they joined after he left they would have an idea of the infamous partier and player Yoon Jeonghan.
Chan took a moment to look around the room, spotting a few people he recognised dotted around a small crowd, it was still early and the place still looked overcrowded. It always did.
He quickly pulled himself out of Jeonghan's clutch, wanting to speak to him face to face rather than being smothered by his long hair. "I missed you at the last couple parties, so happy you could make it." The older boy almost sung, trying to take him in for another hug, which he quickly dismissed.
"Yeah, I've been busy with practicing. Trying to get into those high level schools remember?"
This made Jeonghan frown, a reaction Chan wasn't expecting. "Yeah, I do. Just wish you could come see us more often, and in a different setting." Us. Chan was never sure how Jeonghan's roommate and occasional 'fuck buddy' actually felt about him, if he actually liked him or just tolerated him because of Jeonghan. Same applied for his other roommate, if you could even call him that, he rarely slept at his own place anymore apparently, sneaking out after everyone had gone to sleep to stay over in the dorms. Chan spotted both of the residents in the corner of the room, chatting over a couple bottles of beer. Choi Seungcheol, and Hong Jisoo both ex-students and Jeonghan's long-time best friends. They had all had relations with each other at some point in their friendship, whether one at a time or all together, but there was something explosive about whenever they did get together, something about their personalities would be that it would always end in a shitshow, usually at one of these very parties.
Jeonghan had apparently been talking because he gives a look that says 'are you even listening to me?' to which Chan frowns at and chuckles, a little embarassed. "Sorry, what?"
He sighed before repeating himself, crossing his arms over his chest. "I asked why you were looking for schools? You're only in your second year."
Chan frowned slightly, stepping backwards to lean against the wall next to the door, a sigh passing through his lips. "I just want something more than this." He threw his arms forward and ran a hand through his hair. "It's nice here, I have friends, I'm at the top of all the classes that matter to me. But..." His voice trailed, gaze dropping to the ash-coloured, plank floor.
It wasn't long before arms tucked around him again, a soft squeeze following before Jeonghan moved back away, a sympathetic smile adorning his face. "I get it, kid. Hell, I left that place to try and get on with my life, and look where that's getting me," he said, gesturing to the growing crowd forming in his living room. "Don't feel too bad if you do end up having to stay there. Getting you your qualifications first might be a good idea before trying to continuously apply everywhere. Trust me, people prefer to take in students than dropouts." He sighed gently, rubbing his hand against his neck. "It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it."
Chan nodded slowly, smiling gently in the elder's direction and remembering that he left Hansol to fend for himself during his first college party. "Sorry, I've got to go get my friend." He whipped his head side to side, trying to identify Hansol anywhere in the crowd.
Jeonghan nodded understandingly, making his way to his own friends. "Oh, and Chan," He waited for Chan too look back at him before continuing. "Don't be a stranger." He smiled weakly before turning away, a pang of guilt left in Chan's chest.
He didn't let Jeonghan's comment bother him too much as he pushed through the people who seemed to have tripled in number since he had last looked. It was looking impossible to find Hansol in this crowd, for all he knew he could've gone home in this time. Chan searched for a quiet corner to check his phone in, his only notifications being from his friends asking if he was planning to show up at the party or spam from the various games he had downloaded. He had considered calling Hansol, but doubted that he would pick up if he was still in the mess of crowd that was the apartment.
A few seconds after shoving his phone back into his pocket, a loud and familar voice shouted out over all of the noise. The words slightly slurred but excited while it drew closer.
Happy to see him, Kim Mingyu who currently lived in the dorm beside him lunged for Chan, knocking him over and curling his arms around his body. A tight embrace that was almost impossible to break out of.
"Hey Mingyu... You drunk?" He asked, trying to wriggle out of the larger boy's hold, who only tightened his grip. They were currently a large tripping hazard, especially for a bunch of drunk young adults.
"A little."
Chan sighed and lied defeated under the elder's hold. "Can we get off the floor, people drop drinks all the time and I don't want one in my face."
Quickly, Mingyu picked himself and Chan up off the floor, mumbling a quick sorry before throwing himself back at the boy, hugging him tightly, now upright. "I missed you Chan-ie." He pouted, rocking backwards and forth.
Chan hesitantly patted his drunk friend's back, rubbing it slightly to console him. "Yeah, I missed you too hyung." This only made Mingyu hold him tighter, breathing becoming suddenly difficult. "Can you let go of me now, please."
Mingyu reluctantly let go, frowning at the request while Chan tried to scan the room again, looking for his disappeared roommate. "Who are you looking for?"
"My roommate," he answered bluntly, still looking around. "He's brunette, tall-ish, alright looking." Mingyu furrowed his brow in confusion, most guys there fit that description. "Oh, and he's American."
Mingyu seemed to have light up at the last note, his hand grasping around Chan's wrist, tugging him to the bedroom at the end of the hall, the door slightly ajar.
The room was like every bedroom at a party, random couples making out in corners and on beds, the odd few playing drinking games and bodies passed out on the floor. Chan looked over at Mingyu to ask him why he had brought him there until his eyes landed on the furthest corner, in which Jeonghan's roommate, Jisoo, was making out with someone, more specifically Chwe fucking Hansol.
"What the fuck!" Chan exhaled, grabbing at Mingyu's arm for support. He looked towards him, eyes widened in surprise. "What the fuck?" Mingyu shrugged his shoulders and chuckled quietly, his hand resting on the younger's shoulder.
He wasn't thinking, his legs moved independantly towards the couple, confusion and a weird amount of anger boiling through him. He grasped at Hansol's shoulder, forcing his body to face him. What the fuck.
That wasn't Chwe fucking Hansol. That was just a random fucking guy. Not a random guy, Soonyoung's friend, Seokmin or something like that.
Chan quickly stepped away, extremely embarassed for breaking up their moment for, apparently, no reason. "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I thought you were someone else." He covered his face with his hands, accidently almost tripping over someone passed out on the floor. The couple seemed a little shocked but didn't seem to really care, turning back to each other, mouths already smacking against the other's without much thought.
The first face he saw when he turned around was Hansol's, or rather Mingyu holding a nervous Hansol ransom with a huge grin on his face. "I found him!" He grinned widely.
"Yeah, thanks." Chan muttered holding his lip in his mouth with his teeth. He grabbed at Hansol's arm, pulling him out of the door and down the corridor heading for the exit. "Let's go."
Unexpectedly, Hansol pulled at him to stop, bringing them into a slightly quieter spot with Mingyu lingering close behind. A little tired of his shadow, Chan turned to the crowd and pointed in a random direction with a faux shocked expression. "Look, it's Wonwoo!" He exclaimed in Mingyu's direction.
"Where?" He replied quickly, trying to follow his finger. After obviously not finding him in the crowd, he looks back at Chan, a determined look on his face. "I'll be right back." And he ran off into the crowd looking for his boyfriend who was probably sound asleep back at his own dorm.
"What's up? I thought you'd want to leave?" Chan asked, crossing his arms.
Hansol frowned and bit his lip, looking towards the ground. "I do, it's just that when your friend grabbed me I was talking to someone and I want to find him first, just to like say goodbye and stuff." Seemed innocent enough.
Chan turned around, looking around the room incase Mingyu came running back and decided to chase him for lying about the whereabouts of his boyfriend. "Who was he, what did he look like, and where were you with him?"
Overwhelmed by the amount of questions, Hansol frowned and ran his hand through his hair. Again. "Uh... Not sure, dyed blond hair but more orange-y than yours, like the same height as you... ish? Was wearing jeans and t-shirt. I think? And we were in the kitchen." Chan blinked dumbfounded at his description, shocked that someone could be so oblivous to his surroundings. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Chan clapped his hands together, noise drowned out by the loud music in the background. "Okay, so, change of plans. We're going to walk around and you..." He pushed his finger towards Hansol's chest, tapping it once. "You will be looking around for him, and if we can't find him in ten minutes, then this is a bust and we're going home and you can like google him or something."
Just as planned, Chan grabbed onto Hansol's wrist and lead him around the apartment trying to find the mystery boy. It took around five minutes and a dozen of 'I can never un-see that's until they found the boy, who was tucked up in a corner looking a little worried and upset while his eyes scanned the room.
Hansol practically ran towards him, waving his hand and detaching from Chan's grip. Making him pick up his own pace.
"Hansol, hey!" The boy smiled, standing up to see him. He had a bottle of water in his hand, either trying to sober someone up or is waiting for a friend. Either way, depressing position to be in.
"Hi, I was just about to leave and I wanted to give you my number? Like, just so we can meet up again." He grinned a little too wide, Chan flickered his gaze between the boy and Hansol, feeling a little bit like he was third wheeling somehow. "It's cool if you don't want to." He quickly added to sound less desperate.
The boy quickly agreed, and they exchanged numbers sharing smiles and light laughing. "Alright, cool. Really good to meet you, Seungkwan!" The other boy grinned, and sat back down a hint of disappointment on his face.
Chan groaned quietly, cursing himself for being such a considerate person. "Hey... Seungkwan, was it? We're clearly about to leave and if you want you can come with us, I don't mind, really. And I'm certain Hansol won't mind either." He smiled, offering a hand for the boy to use to stand up.
Seungkwan looked like he was about to accept it before he dropped his hand to his side, looking back towards a crowd in the middle of the room. "I wish I could. Really. But I told my friend that I'd come, and I feel too bad to just leave him."
There was a noticable amount of disappointment on both Hansol and Seungkwan's faces as they looked towards each other, both of which made Chan want to throw up and cry at the same time. "Well, whoever it is who invited you is clearly going to be fine by themselves as they are literally not with you now. You look absolutely miserable, you don't even have to hang out with us, I'm more than happy to just walk you back to your room for all I care." Reluctantly, Seungkwan stood up and followed them out of the party, a few 'thank you's thrown out while they walked.
They were barely halfway down the stairs when a loud thumping of footsteps came rushing towards them. Chan gritted his teeth together and braced for impact, immediately knowing who's face was about to appear behind him.
"Lee Chan, you lying bastard." Mingyu threw himself at the boy, shaking him backwards and forth. Chan made an observation that his voice was more slurred than it was earlier, and his gaze was more lazy. "Wonwoo was not there, and when I came back to find you, you were also not there."
Chan attempted to show a shocked face, which only seemed to rile up Mingyu more who shook him more violently. "I really did think I saw him, hyung! And you were gone for so long that I thought you found him." He sighed, and looked down, pretending to feel guilty.
"Oh." Was all he could say, letting go of his shoulders and instead resting his hands on them. "I ran into Seungcheol while looking for him, and he gave me a drink that smelt bad, so I had to try it. Maybe I passed out."
Chan pointed towards him and widened his eyes. "Maybe that was it, would explain why we couldn't find you either." He looked back at the two boys behind him who nodded in agreement almost instinctively.
Mingyu seemed to deflate, before literally jumping with joy, he wrapped his arms back around Chan, a huge grin on his face. What was with people and hugging him tonight? "You do care about me! I love you too, Chan-ie"
"Alright, you're okay too, I guess." He smiled, patting his hyung's back. "We're about to leave now though, so you can either come with us and we can try and sober you up or you can go back to the party."
Assessing his options, Mingyu let go of Chan and glanced back towards the staircase. Just when he thought he was about to leave, Mingyu started putting up some of his fingers on each hand, confusing the three boys watching him.
It wasn't until around thirty seconds into the odd finger counting that Chan worked out what he was doing, a pros and cons list for each option. The idea of it made him chuckle to himself, he always liked that about Mingyu. How quickly Chan could work out what he was thinking because he wore his emotions so plainly on his face, of course it was exaggerated by alcohol but even a sober Mingyu was easy to read.
A minute or so of counting fingers later and Mingyu wrapped his arms tightly around Chan, once again knocking all the air out of his body. He assumed by the sheer intensity of the hug that it was a goodbye one, drunk Mingyu was definitely a touchy and emotional guy, but at least he was harmless.
"Okay, Chan-ie! I'm coming with you." He flopped him arm around the back of Chan's neck, pulling him down the stairs. "Oh and you need to introduce me to your new friend."
Chan gave a quick glance back to the two dumbfounded boys behind them, giving them a flash of a smile before beckoning them to follow.
Apparently carrying a six foot twenty-one year old was quite the work out. Chan had expected it to be rather easy getting back to their dorm with the amount of energy radiating from Mingyu, but by the time they had gotten to the bottom of Jeonghan's building's staircase he had turned into a deadweight clinging onto him for support.
By the time they had reached his front door, it felt like he was about to snap in two lugging up a half-concious Mingyu up three flights of stairs. Hansol and Seungkwan were still loosely following behind, engaging in small chatter while watching the, what looked like, wrestling match between the two boys.
Chan pushed his key through the lock, turning it quickly and sharply pushing open the door, the handle hitting its usual dent while he pulled Mingyu's body into his room. He dumped the drunk male's body onto his bed, rushing to get him a bottle of water as an attempt of sobering up. "You're so nice to me, Chan-ie" He smiled between chugs of water. "It's a surprise that you don't have a girlfriend yet, or even a boyfriend." Chan chuckled dryly, and pushed the hair sticking to Mingyu's forehead back.
"My focus isn't on getting a girlfriend, or boyfriend. I'm only focused on—"
"—Your future." Mingyu sighed, pushing himself up from his lying down position to sit against the wall. "There's no harm in having fun though. I mean, look at Wonwoo. He is in an amazing relationship with the hottest guy in the world and he's still the top of all of his classes. He's even been offered a scholarship to go to fucking MIT."
Chan's eyes widened, and a smile grew onto his face. "He got into MIT? That's insane."
Mingyu huffed, giving a disapproving look back at him. "Yeah it is, but you didn't agree with me."
"...About what?"
"That I'm the hottest guy in the world."
Chan laughed and sat beside his friend placing a hand on his shoulder. "Kim Mingyu, you are definitely not the hottest guy in the world."
"Fuck you."
***
Chan woke up relatively early the next day with a completely knocked out Mingyu sprawled over him, his arm holding him down tightly. Attempting to not wake up the boy that was practically smothering him with his bicep, Chan glanced over to the other side of the room, surprised to see Hansol asleep in his own bed.
Last night it was just Mingyu and Chan in their room, Chan had assumed Hansol had ran off with Seungkwan when they arrived, he silently cursed him for leaving him, but quickly let it go on the realisation he probably would've done the same if he was in his situation.
Slowly, Chan creeped out from underneath Mingyu's arm, his body now sprawled out across Chan's bed like a drunk starfish. He quickly ran over to grab his phone, snapping a photo and sending it to Wonwoo, pairing it with a quick congratulations for getting into MIT.
Growing bored of his company's unconsciousness, Chan sat himself in front of his laptop pulling it open and only remembering what was last on it when the email sent the day before gleamed back at him. He had forgotten all about the rejection due to the excitement of the night prior, he brushed his gaze over all the writing, reading it fully for the first time.
It was definitely a rejection email, but what was different about it was listing the same advice he had recieved barely hours before. Jeonghan's advice. Stay in college until the end, and then reapply. They hoped he would reapply.
Chan almost screamed with happiness.