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Ben was four years old when he met Armitage Hux.
He was ecstatic when his mother brought him to the Senate for the first time, clutching onto her hand as they walked through the corridors.
“Are there going to be other children there?” He asked her, swinging her arm as she chuckled warmly, “Like me?”
“There might be.” His mother answered, and Ben couldn’t help but beam.
He had his cousin Rey, but she was just a baby, and there was Poe who was his very best friend in the whole world, but more friends would be amazing. Especially because Poe was older than him and had to do a lot of homework before he could come out and play.
It was here, that he met Armitage Hux.
He was older by a couple of years, and seemed just as happy to meet Ben, which was nice. He had pale skin and red hair that Ben had never seen before, except in old photos of his late, great uncle Obi-Wan.
It didn’t take Ben to realise that Armitage wasn’t as fun as Poe, not seeming to like anything that Ben liked.
He didn’t seem to like playing at all really, preferring to stay indoors and read, which seemed awfully boring to Ben. How could anyone stay so still for so long?
“It’s not that boring.” Armitage rolled his eyes, “You just have to find the right book.”
Ben pulled a face, as Armitage laughed, nothing malicious in the sound at all, which was a surprise to Ben.
Usually when other kids laughed at him, it wasn’t nice at all.
Suddenly feeling shy, Ben tucked his face into the side of his mum’s leg, feeling her run her fingers through his hair softly as she talked to Armitage’s father. He didn’t need to be friends with Armitage…even if he wanted to.
….
When Ben was next brought to the Senate, Armitage had some toy ships with him.
“Do you… want to play?” the older boy asked softly, “I haven’t played with these in a while, so they might be a bit dusty, but- “
“- I like playing with ships.” Ben smiled shyly, “My Daddy flies the Milllum Falcon.”
“The… Millennium Falcon?” A slightly amazed look appeared on Armitage’s face, “Wow!”
Ben felt his cheeks grow a little red at this.
Maybe… maybe they could be friends after all.
**
The years passed, and they continued to be friends, often getting lost in their worlds of make-believe during especially boring Senate meetings.
Ben still liked Poe of course, but Armitage was probably one of his most favourite people in the whole world. Especially when he smiled at Ben in that soft way he did.
It made Ben feel bubbly and light.
Even when Armitage had to study, Ben enjoying the quiet time with him.
Armitage was the first person he went to about his worries about Jedi Training with Uncle Luke. He didn’t even tell Poe about that, even though he hung out with Poe almost every single day.
No, Armitage just made him feel better.
**
The years continued to pass, and though the boys took different paths, they were close….Hux did find other friends, and he very rarely came to the Senate anymore because of his studies. ..but Ben was sure they were still friends.
“Are you okay?” His Uncle Luke asked softly, “You’ve been…. A little off today.”
“… If I hear the name Phasma again, I’m going to scream.”
Luke didn’t quite manage to hide his knowing smile in time. “Armitage’s friend, right? He is allowed to have other friends you know… you have, Rey, and Poe and Finn… remember? Maybe Phasma is really nice.”
“She’s really tall.” Ben muttered, “It’s weird.”
“You’re just too used to short women like your mother.” Luke chuckled (although not without looking around to make sure Leia was actually there). When he got no response though, he frowned, “Ben?”
Ben felt like there was a lump in his throat, making it hurt to do anything but breathe, “You’re not taking me seriously.” He hissed, “You’re still treating me like a child!”
“You’re twelve!” Luke sighed but relented. He remembered what it was like at that age.
Ben was probably going to be useless until this was all resolved… when he was twenty and most of the hormones had passed.
………………….
After an unsuccessful week training, Ben was eager to go to the Senate and see Armitage again, heading to their usual meeting room, only to find that Armitage already had a friend there.
Phasma.
They were both tapping at their data-pads, heads down, not even seeming to see that Ben had entered the room in the slightest.
Phasma was the first to look up, a small smile appearing on her face when she saw Ben standing there.
“Ben.” She greeted.
Ben felt like an intruder. He never used to feel like this, but with how close they were both sitting… something ugly reared its head in his belly, coiling up tightly, making him feel a little queasy.
“Come in, we were just studying for our exams.”
Ben had never felt left out by Armitage before. He didn’t like the sensation in the slightest, watching as Armitage didn’t even look up at him slightly.
“I-I promised to help Mum with something.” He muttered, the excuse sounding weak, even to him, “Maybe next time.”
He turned to leave, only for Phasma’s voice to stop him in his tracks.
“Are you sure?”
“Y-Yeah, I-uh-I promised her yesterday, but forgot. See you later!”
Yeah, he hated her.
……………
They ended up losing touch, as Ben went to study to be a Jedi full time and Armitage went to the Academy. Of course, they lost touch long before that split happened.
Ben blamed Phasma.
Armitage changed after he met her, and Ben could only watch helplessly as Armitage drifted away. He couldn’t really pinpoint when his world started revolving around Armitage, but he noticed when it was taken away from him.
“There’s a message from Armitage for you.” His mother stated, when he entered the home, “Something about him missing the last transport home?”
Ben shrugged, trying not to act like inside of him had just shattered.
“Whatever.”
If Armitage wanted to stay with his girlfriend, why should he even care?
When anyone asked him why he didn’t spend time with Armitage anymore, Ben had number of different excuses to fall back on; Armitage was too boring now, he was at school now, he was too busy with his Jedi training.
Things like that.
His mother didn’t believe him though, often scolding him when he used the ‘Armitage is boring’ line.
“He likes different things, that doesn’t make him boring.”
“…Whatever.”
That was his default reply nowadays.
It was easier than trying to lie, especially when he knew that his mother worried about the entire situation.
…..
Truth be told, after Armitage went to take up a junior political position, Ben never expected to run into him again, even as a Jedi. He would hear things from his Mum, little bits and pieces of information that never really allowed him to move on from the red-headed man.
He passed on birthday messages through his mum, and Armitage did the same.
“He seems like he misses you.” His mother said one day, making Ben scoff.
“Doubt it.”
So sure in his conviction was he, that it came as a surprise when he received a holo-com message at 2:15am in the morning.
“Ben, how do I fix this?”
Ben was awake when the message came through, but he was at a loss for words. He could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks, but he had nothing to say.
Fix this?
Fix this?
Ben didn’t return the message.
…..
Looking back at that moment, he wished he could have found the right words to reply with on that night. He thought they would eventually come to him, but if anything, his feelings and thoughts about Armitage got muddier.
He didn’t receive any more messages after that.
Not even birthday ones.
Ben ignored the horrible pain in his heart.
…
It took a while for him to recover, and honestly, he wasn’t sure that he did. He got closer to Rey, Finn and Poe. None of them mentioned Hux, and he was grateful for that.
Life went on.
Sometimes, he went whole days without thinking about Armitage and that was nothing to scoff at.
So, when he said that he really wasn’t expecting to run into him again, he wasn’t kidding.
It was a random Friday night out, and he was out with the others at the bar. Poe and Finn pressed up against each other, as Rey made fun of them silently from the sidelines.
Ben wanted to join in, but the happy couple made him feel a little melancholy.
This wasn’t his scene, and he knew his face was communicating just how much he hated this, knocking back a few shots with Rey to try and loosen himself up.
“Isn’t that Phasma?”
Ben tensed, looking over his shoulder to where Rey was pointing, feeling like the breath had been punched right out of him…. because Armitage was standing right there as well.
“Ben?” Rey’s voice was close to his ears but still sounded so far away.
There was something akin to panic flooding Ben’s system, his feet feeling like lead, unable to move from their spot. He watched in a bit of a trance as Armitage laughed at something Phasma said, the look on his face…heart-stopping.
He couldn’t take his eyes off of him.
Phasma spotted him first, looking taken aback at the sight of them.
Ben was still frozen in place as she pulled Armitage over to them.
“Hux.” His own voice sounded foreign to his ears. Breathy and thin…like he’d just run a marathon. Armitage shouldn’t have been able to hear him, not with how loud the place was…but their eyes locked all the same.
“Ben.”
…
They found themselves alone, walking along the river. The night was surprisingly warm, as Ben tried not to walk too close to the other man.
He wasn’t sure how exactly they managed to end up alone. His feelings were all a mess, and he thought that that was why his memories were all a mess as well.
He’d also had a few too many to drink really.
He vaguely remembers a painfully awkward and stilted conversation as they all stood around the bar. Thankfully, Poe had managed to save the day a little there, leading the conversation, as Ben snuck awkward glances at Armitage. He’s more than a little surprised that when made his excuses to leave, Armitage offered to walk him back home.
They’d been walking in silence for a few minutes now and the alcohol coursing through Ben’s veins is making him feel loose-lipped.
“I heard you’re a Politician now?” He cleared his throat, feeling more nervous than he had before.
Armitage’s eyes flashed up to meet Ben’s and Ben found himself having to force himself to breathe.
“I am, although just a minor one.” The other man finally answered, moving as though to run his fingers through his hair, only to think better of it, “I’m just…trying to figure out where I’m going to go from here.”
Ben felt a little bit proud of him, wanting to tell him that, only for the words to get trapped in his throat. So, he ended up keeping it to himself instead.
“I hear you went into your uncles’ line of work.” Armitage then broke the silence, “Your Mother was quite proud of that.”
Ben’s eyes widened a bit at that, “I…didn’t realise that you still kept in touch with her.”
The corners of Armitage’s mouth turned down and he took in a deep breath as though he was about to launch into a lecture, only to stop himself and sigh wearily, “Of course I do.”
Ben wasn’t sure that he liked that tone but found that he did feel a little guilty. Lost in thought, he stumbled forwards, clearing his throat when Armitage looked over at him. “Sorry…must have had a bit too much to drink.”
“Time to get you home now.”
“…Okay.”
Time trickled and rushed by at the same time, and Ben only processed a few things. The sound of Armitage’s shuffled footsteps, the tickle of his hair against Ben whenever he swayed and leant in too close. The warmth of Armitage’s fingers laced through his. The feeling was infinite, but somehow, all too quickly, Ben found himself standing in front of his apartment.
He goes to reach for the keys in his pocket but finds Armitage’s fingers intertwined with his instead. Pulling his hand away is just not an option for him.
“Are you going to stay?” He whispered.
His question hung unanswered for the longest, most drawn-out moment of his life, so he pushed, “You won’t leave, right?”
Armitage sighed, “No... not this time.”
“Good.”
“I suppose someone needs to keep an eye on you.”
“Hey!”