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The first thing he felt… was hot. The second thing he felt was sticky. And the third thing that worked its way into Chojis mind that morning, was the feeling of the morning sun nearly baking him half to death. He took a deep breath in, weighing the decision in his mind if he could cook just a little bit longer for that extra minute of sleep. Once he felt the edges of the sweat puddle under him start to seep through his sleepy morning senses as well though, he decided that it was definitely time to get up.
Forcing his recently seeming heavy eyelids to open, he immediately winces and shuts his eyes closed again at the first bright sliver of sunlight that penetrated the stark dark black he’d become accustomed to traversing these past couple months. Recently, he’d had a light cast on him by Ume-Chan and he’d been seeing a whole lot more in his line of vision than before. Mostly, he’d seen the damage that he caused. The hurt, fear, and pain that crossed every member of Shishitorins face but that he’d been too in the dark to see. The dark cracks that had started to form from an all too familiar center where he found himself standing alone…
Before he could fully be enveloped back into that pitch black pit that seemed to loom under him at all times now, he popped his eyes back open and went to sit up. Well, he TRIED to sit up. But he immediately felt the sore muscles all over him and the deep bruises that took their time setting in over night.
Once he more less shuffled his way to his elbows and was able to take his first look around without wincing, and that’s when he quickly realized he wasn’t in his own bedroom. That’s when he heard shuffling off to his left next to him on the floor, followed by the slow deep inhale that he had come to love hearing first thing in the morning from a very sleepy Kame-chan who always woke up with a slow yawn already crossing his lips , and who was as equally slowly starting to stretch one of his arms up toward the ceiling and push his chest out ever so slightly so that his robe started to show more and more skin. Just as Choji was taking his time soaking in the heavenly picture in front of him - and unknowingly letting his eyes linger down further and further…
“Choji!! How are you feeling?? Do you hurt anywhere? Can I do anything for you? Do you need anything?”
At first Choji couldn’t do anything but stare back up at the now looming over him Kame-chan with is mouth hanging slightly open and his thoughts doing Olympic style flips in his mind.
“Uh.. um… I…”
Every time Choji tried to make words come out of his mouth he found he could only stumble out the first sound before he would find himself looking back into the center of Kame-chans eyes and quickly loosing his voice every time. Cause every time Choji looked at him now, all he could see was the worry. The anxiety. The fear. And behind all that he could see the pain that Kame-chan had been silently enduring all this time. The pain of keeping Shishitorin together when it was full of cracks and splintering apart. The pain of trying to keep the darkness that was inside of Choji from slipping out and showing up in front of all their other teammates, keeping him the shining sun at the forefront. Choji was the one who CAUSED this pain. He was the source of all the cracks and breaks that had formed in their team, he was the source of all the darkness that had crept up in Shishitorin and he had been too damn… too damn… too damn what?
Bored to see it?
He couldn’t be Shishitorins sun anymore. He hadn’t shown genuine light in a long time. He didn’t deserve to be at the front anymore, he didn’t deserve to be the shining sun to anyone now, especially…
Even the thought of that started to make Choji feel uneasy and he quickly looked down suddenly finding it very hard to breath. In the next second he felt soft silk pressing into the side of his face and strong, firm arms being wrapped around him, pulling him into a tight grip. His vision had started to go a little blurry from the tears that had apparently began to form in his eyes, and he felt himself hyperventilating, the tips of his fingers feeling fuzzy and starting to go numb.
There was a distant ringing in his ears that was starting to grow louder, but before he felt himself get completely swallowed up by his ensuing panic attack, Choji heard the low sweet sound of someone saying ‘breath… breath with me Choji… slow… in.. 2.. 3.. out.. 2.. 3..’ guiding him like a saving light in the darkness, showing him that there was a way out, he just needed to follow this guiding light. That’s when he started to feel the warm, slow, comforting in and out of Kame-chans chest as he set a new pace of breathing for both of them.
As Choji slowly started to slow his breathing back down and regain his senses he also started to feel the warmth of Kame-chan sink into him as well. Yes, it was super hot outside right now, and yes, Choji had just been ripped from his sleep by the heat, but this warmth was different. It didn’t feel like it was cooking him alive, or searing him from the outside. It felt… nice. Comforting. Dare he say, cozy. It was the best thing he had felt in a LONG time - even if it was one of the first things he felt in awhile besides nothing - he could tell that it was still one the BEST things he’d ever felt so far.
Once Choji felt his breathing match up with Kame-chans, he could also feel that delicious warmth of his start to relax his overly tense and aching muscles. Choji felt himself relax into the strong arms that seemed to still be holding him together after so much. He felt his head lean up against the soft, warm, solid wall next to him and then a heartbeat later felt Kame-chan slowly start to put his head on top of his, placing his chin ever so delicately on top of Chojis golden yellow curls.
The pressure from how tight Kame-chan is holding him feels nice, like it’s holding all the loose pieces of himself together, but then he starts to feel the slight shake in Kame-chans hands. Even though the hold around him felt so firm, Choji could still feel the slight shake that started from Kame-chans fingertips and that started to spread down his hands.
Choji tried to turn to face Kame-chan and tell him it’s okay, that he’s okay now, that he helped him feel better. But when Choji goes to move he finds himself stuck in the shaking grasp and gives a soft confused huff, usually not having an issue with breaking through anything in his path, no matter how strong. However, this time, he found himself stuck, unable to move from the firm grasp encircling him.
That’s when he feels the tiniest drop of water fall onto his face. Or at least he thinks, it was so faint he wasn’t sure, but as he was thinking that, a slightly bigger drop of water falls in the same place. The shaking that started in Kame-chans fingers had now spread to his arms as well, and that’s when Choji heard Kame-chan take in the quickest and shortest inhale he’d ever heard from him.
“K- ka- Kame-chan?”
He only gets a little sniffle in return, along with another tight squeeze.
“Kame-chan, are you okay?”
This time in response Choji gets a soft, deep chuckle that seems to rumble its way out of Kame-chans chest and out of his mouth.
“Heh heh, that’s what I’m supposed to be asking you…” Kame-chan trails off, the last couple words seeming to drip with a heavy sort of sadness, his hands digging even deeper into Chojis arms.
Choji tries to take in what Kame-Chan said but he just can’t understand it. Why would Kame-Chan ask HIM if HE was okay after everything that happened was HIS fault. Choji should be the one asking if everyone else is okay now, HE should be the one trying to fix things, HE should be the one trying to hold it together now.
After everything that he put Kame-chan through, why was he still taking such good care of him? Why was he still the one that needed to be looked after? Why was Kame-chan even still here with him…
… Why?
‘Why?’ Was the only thing that could come to Chojis mind right now, so that’s exactly what he said, “… why”
“Why what?”
“Why are you doing this…”
“Doing what?” Kame-chan asked him as he began to relax his vice like grip that he had made around Choji.
“… being so nice to me. Taking care of me right now. Still. Even after everything I -“
Choji couldn’t finish his sentence before he found himself face-to-face with Kame-chan again, noses almost brushing.
“What do you mean why am I doing those things? Because I lo-“ Kame-chan quickly cut himself off and looked down at the floor trying to hide the pink that Choji could see starting to rush up his cheeks. “- because I care about you Choji” he finished, looking back up.
“Anyway, I know you must be starving from running around that much yesterday, so let’s go over to Furin and try out that bakery fresh, yea?”
As if on cue, Chojis stomach took that moment to make the loudest roar they had both heard from him.
And at the suggestion of getting to go out to do something fun with Kame-chan, Choji’s face lit up in response.
“Yes yES YES PLEASE!!!”
A slow deep chuckle worked its way out of Kame-chan again before he looked up … smiling. He was smiling. At Choji. Kame-chan was actually smiling at Choji for something he did and the earth Choji felt corse through his body after that was something intoxicating.
As they somewhat ungracefully helped each other to their feet and out onto the road, Choji couldn’t help but smile to himself a little and think that maybe, just maybe his sun could rise again some day.