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“Oh,” Jongin says one morning, glancing up from whatever he was doodling in the margin of his notes to focus on the classroom’s old, staticky television. He watches as a girl from Sehun’s physics class, the one who talks too much and too loud, recites the daily announcements off a piece of loose leaf paper. The quality of the screen flickers, dotting the girl’s school uniform with little specks of red and neon blue. “Prom is coming up.”
Sehun looks up at the screen, and feels an odd lump settle in his throat. “Oh. Prom,” he echoes, and winces at the sound of his own voice. “I, uh, didn't think you were interested in that kinda thing.”
Jongin shrugs his shoulders, going back to scribbling long, looping circles in black ink over his paper. The announcements fade to background noise as a boy, one Sehun doesn't recognize, talks about the school basketball team and their game coming up. He tunes it out. “I dunno. It could be fun. Everyone who’s graduated says you'll regret it if you don't go.”
“Does that mean you're gonna go?” Sehun asks, tentatively. He picks at his nails some, feigning nonchalance, although it feels like the lump in his throat has only grown.
Jongin shrugs again, cupping his chin in his hand. “If someone asks me, maybe. It's probably not that fun to go alone.” He sounds a bit distant now, voice far off.
The lump’s even bigger now. Sehun swallows. “Oh. I hope someone asks you, then.”
There’s a soft curl at the corner of Jongin’s mouth, and he twists his head just enough to glance at Sehun. “Thanks,” he replies, smile widening just a fraction.
It feels a little hard for Sehun to breathe.
-
“You should’ve asked Jongin,” Baekhyun says this in that tone that makes Sehun feel stupid. He’s got his feet kicked up on his desk, long fingers flipping through his notes that Sehun knows he stole from Junmyeon’s locker. “Like, he was pretty much asking for you to—”
“—without actually asking me to?”
Baekhyun looks up from the notes and makes a face at him, the corner of his nose wrinkling. “It's called reading between the lines, Sehun,” he says, tone matter of fact.
“Why don't you read between the lines,” Sehun replies, and holds up 3 fingers and puts them down one by one, until it's just his middle finger. Baekhyun scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“I changed my mind. Jongin deserves better than you.”
-
This is harder than it should be, Sehun thinks begrudgingly, twisting his straw between his fingers as he stares across the bed at Jongin. The plastic scrapes against the aluminum of his soda can, and it distracts him from the nervousness tingling in his fingertips.
Jongin’s got a highlighter cap locked between his teeth, held securely as he drags the yellow ink over his notes again and again. He looks engrossed in his readings, and Sehun feels a twist of uncertainty, like maybe he shouldn't be bothering him with something as stupid as prom, when suddenly Jongin glances up from his paper.
A half smile quirks up Jongin’s lips, and the uncertainty in Sehun’s stomach quickly turns to embarrassment at getting caught. “Is there something on my face?” Jongin asks playfully, syllables clunky around the cap in his mouth, and a peal of laughter comes from Sehun’s throat unconsciously.
“No, no, it's not that,” he says, waving his hand nonchalantly.
This time, Jongin raises a brow. “You're lying,” he says, making a finger pistol with his free hand and pointing it at Sehun. His eyes narrow teasingly. “What's on your mind?”
Sehun rubs his palm against the back of his neck shyly, licking the corner of his mouth. “I was just, uh, thinking. About prom.” His eyes flicker to Jongin nervously to gauge his reaction, but Jongin only looks expectant.
“What about it?”
A nervous flush coils up around his neck, and Sehun thinks he could die of embarrassment. “Has anyone asked you yet— or have you asked anyone?” His voice shakes on the last syllable, and he winces.
There's a flicker of something in Jongin’s eyes, but he looks away before Sehun can figure out what it is. “No,” Jongin replies, and he wrinkles his nose a bit. “The person I wanted to ask me hasn't.”
A wave of jealousy crashes over Sehun, but he forces it down, and tries to ignore how heavy his own tongue feels in his mouth. “Well, if they don't ask, would you want to go with me?”
Sehun isn't sure what he's expecting. A pause, a moment of hesitation, maybe even a laugh. He doesn't expect to see Jongin grin, doesn't expect to hear his best friend say an excited, “okay!”
A smile of his own finds its way across Sehun’s face, uncontrollable and wide. “Okay,” Sehun agrees, and something inside him twinges with affection.
He tries to stop smiling. He really does.
-
Baekhyun, of course, reacts just the way Sehun expects him to.
“You're an idiot, and I, of course, am always right. No shocker there, though,” Baekhyun announces highly at the lunch table, a dramatic hand pressed against his chest. Sehun rolls his eyes.
“We're just going as friends. Jongin said the person he wanted to go with didn't ask him. If that person asks I'm sure he'll change his mind,” Sehun explains, trying to sound indifferent. He struggles to ignore the unpleasant taste in his mouth at the idea, instead shoveling down a spoonful of rice to distract himself.
Baekhyun scoffs, unconvinced, and flicks a diced carrot at him. “You both are so stupid,” he sighs, clicking his tongue. “How you’ve made it this far into high school is beyond me.”
Sehun throws the carrot back at him, and smiles triumphantly when it hits him in the little crease between his brows. “Why can't you just be happy for me?”
“I'll be happy when you stop being dense.”
“I hate you.”
-
Sehun really doesn’t think anyone can blame him for having a crush on Jongin.
Quite frankly, he finds it hard to believe that people can have met Jongin and not have a crush on him, even a little one. There are just so many endearing things about him; his smile, the curve of his eyes when he laughs, the way his eyes sparkle when he talks about the things he likes. Everything about Jongin was compelling, beautiful.
“You’re doing it wrong,” Jongin says, suddenly, words breaking into a laugh as he tilts on his bedroom floor until his shoulder knocks into Sehun’s. His words and the movement jostle Sehun out of his thoughts, rustling the game controller in his hands. Sehun whines as he regains his grip, struggling to make his little pixelated Mario keep pace with Jongin’s Luigi. “If I lose this level because of you, I’ll kick your ass in real time.”
Sehun rolls his eyes, trying to mask the feelings bubbling in his throat with a casual smile. “I’m shaking, Jongin. Really,” he mocks, shifting against Jongin’s headboard and quickly tapping the controls until Mario hops up to the next block above him.
Jongin laughs again, this time kicking Sehun in the leg. “Shut up, loser,” he grins, pressing his tongue into his cheek in concentration (another little quirk of his that Sehun’s come to love). They lapse into a brief, tense silence, punctuated only by the click of buttons, until both Mario and Luigi slip past the final checkpoint.
They both drop the controllers to the floor with a soft clatter, and Jongin flashes Sehun a hundred watt smile. Sehun raises a brow, an unconscious smile of his own twitching on his mouth. “What?” He asks uncertainly, but Jongin just shakes his head.
“Nothing, nothing,” Jongin says, but his nails are scratching along the base of his throat, a nervous habit. Sehun’s eyes narrow a fraction, and Jongin can tell. “I'm just excited for prom, s’all.”
Something swells up in Sehun’s chest, and the grin this time around isn't a mask. “I am, too. It's going to be a lot of fun,” he says, and his fingers twitch against his palm with the urge to reach over and take Jongin’s hand in his own.
Sehun comes to find that screwing up the nerve to hold Jongin’s hand is a lot harder than screwing up the nerve to actually ask him to prom.
He’s spent half the night stealing glances at Jongin’s hands, the way they stay tugging at the collar of his dress shirt, fiddling with his bangs, curling around a plastic punch cup. There's a burning itch along Sehun’s own fingers, crawling up the span of his palm and down to his fingertips, singing whenever Jongin smiles at him or leans in too close to whisper over the din.
“Are you having fun?” Jongin asks, voice muted under a layer of pounding music. He’s so close that, if Sehun turned his head, they might be kissing. The thought makes a deep flush curl all the way up the back of his neck, and it takes him a moment before he can say, “yeah, lots of fun.”
Sehun is really starting to think this whole thing was a terrible idea.
Jongin grins at him, and Sehun feels that same burn again, hotter now. “I'm glad,” Jongin says, oblivious, and tips his head towards the gymnasium floor. “When they play some better music, do you want to dance?” He sounds hopeful, but Sehun thinks maybe he's just looking for something that isn't there.
He tries not to overthink it, though, and nods once, mirroring Jongin’s smile with his own. “Just say when,” he replies, and takes a swig of cheap punch that leaves his mouth with a way too sugary aftertaste. When he winces, Jongin laughs, his whole body rocking back with it. “Shut up, this stuff is terrible and you know it.”
Jongin rolls his eyes, getting to his feet. He's still grinning, even when he leans down again so Sehun can hear him say, “I'll bring you the other punch. Not this shit.” He winks, a little mockingly, and Sehun is grateful that it's too dark for Jongin to see the heat rise up to his cheeks. He squeezes Sehun’s shoulder once, and then walks off into the crowd.
When Jongin’s far off enough, Sehun presses his palms against his cheeks with an over dramatic sigh. “I’m an idiot,” he says out loud to himself, words muddled.
“I could’ve told you that.”
Sehun doesn't even have to look up to know its Baekhyun, or to know he's wearing that stupid, stupid grin of his. He rubs a hand over his face and says, “don't you ever quit?”
“We both know the answer to that. Where's Jongin?”
Sehun drops his hand from his cheek, and turns to look at Baekhyun briefly. “He said he was gonna get us drinks,” he explains, glancing towards the snack table against the back wall. He has to squint a little to see through the crowds of his classmates and their half-ass dancing, but eventually he finds Jongin, ladeling out punch into fresh plastic cups. A soft smile curls up on his lips at the sight of him, and he makes a vague gesture at him for Baekhyun to see. “See? Getting drinks,” he says simply, and goes back to picking at the plastic of the decorative table covers.
Baekhyun makes a humming noise in the back of his throat, leaning over Sehun’s seat to get a better look. “Yeah he is. Is that Junmyeon? He looks nice,” he says offhandedly.
“I haven’t seen Junmyeon yet tonight,” Sehun remarks, looking up again and back at the punch table. Junmyeon is there, dressed up in a well fitted suit that Sehun highly doubts is a rental. “He does look good, doesn’t he?” He admits, suddenly feeling a little shabby in his own tux. He does his best to shove that down, too.
He sees Junmyeon say something to Jongin, sees Jongin say something back, sees them both smile, even laugh a little. Junmyeon says something else, and Jongin suddenly looks flustered, bashful. He laughs again, and rubs his hand along the back of his neck, a tell-tale sign of shyness.
There's an uncomfortable tightness in Sehun’s stomach, and he forces himself to look away. He’s not even sure what is is that Junmyeon’s said, but he's almost positive he doesn't like it. It feels stupid to be jealous, Jongin is his date, after all, but Sehun can't help it.
It doesn't take long for Baekhyun to catch onto the shift in the air around Sehun. He glances at him, and then back at Junmyeon and Jongin again. For a moment, he says nothing. And then, “God, you're so stupid.”
“Is that all you're capable of saying? You're like a broken record, jeez,” Sehun mumbles, but the words have no real bite to them.
Baekhyun presses his hand against the back of Sehun’s neck and gives it a squeeze that almost feels reassuring. “You are, though. To be fair, so is Jongin. Thank god you two can never reproduce, natural selection would get the best of you.”
“Is there a reason you're making fun of me or is this prom just boring you?”
Baekhyun rolls his eyes and squeezes Sehun’s neck again. “Sit up,” he says instead of giving him an answer, “your date is coming back.”
Sehun does sit up, straightening his posture just as Jongin takes his seat and slides a plastic cup in front of Sehun. “I can't say that this punch is better than the last, but it definitely can't be worse,” he jokes, and Sehun musters up a little half smile to match Jongin’s own. “Oh, hey, Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun wiggles his fingers at Jongin with a little grin. “Hey, Jongin. You look nice,” he replies sincerely, and Jongin smiles, looking down at his lap shyly. Baekhyun hums for a moment before he leans back away from them, craning his neck to scan the dance floor. “I'm gonna go talk to Junmyeon, but I'll catch up with you later,” he adds, and punctuates his words with a secretive little wink in Sehun’s direction. Sehun pretends not to notice the way Jongin’s brows wrinkle in confusion as Baekhyun disappears again.
“What was that about?” Jongin asks, knocking back a sip of punch. The words come out muffled around the rim of his cup.
“Hm? Oh, it's nothing. Baekhyun’s just being Baekhyun.” Sehun says vaguely, and waves a nonchalant hand. The answer seems to suffice, because Jongin drops it with a little shrug of his shoulders.
There's a silence that stretches out between them for a moment, until Sehun hesitantly asks, “what were you and Junmyeon talking about?” He waves a hand vaguely in the direction of where they had been speaking moments before, and ignores the tightness in his throat.
There's an almost instant shift in Jongin’s demeanor; Sehun can see it in the way his smile softens in affection, the sudden distant look in his eye. “It was nothing,” Jongin says, and it's a lie. Something tenses up in the pit of his stomach and he can’t hide his frown. He wishes he could, though, because immediately Jongin’s expression mirrors his own, the downward pull of his lips and the crease between his brows. “What is it?”
Sehun’s frown deepens, and he picks at his nails distractedly. “It’s nothing,” he lies, and Jongin narrows his eyes at him.
“You’re a bad liar. Was it something I said?” He looks nervous, and Sehun feels a twinge of guilt.
Sehun has a million ideas of what he could say next— no, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it, I was just thinking about something— any of which would’ve been better than, “if you wanted to go with Junmyeon, you should’ve just asked him.” His words come out bitter, dripping with sarcasm, and Sehun regrets them instantly.
Jongin’s whole face falls into an expression Sehun hasn’t seen before. It's a mixture of hurt and confusion that makes it a little harder for to breathe. The words hang between them, almost tangible. Sehun wishes that they were tangible, so that he could reach out and pull them back into his mouth, tuck them under his tongue and hide them with the rest of his insecurities.
Sehun scrabbles for words, tongue suddenly heavier in his mouth than before. “Jongin, I—,”
“I didn’t want Junmyeon to ask me.”
The words cut through the air and anything Sehun might’ve said next. He closes his mouth, and leans back in his chair. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly, and means it. “I just… you looked so goddamn happy, talking to him, when I mentioned him, and you said before the person you wanted…” he trails off, and rubs a hand over his face. He really wishes the floor would open up under him and swallow him whole, and save him the embarrassment.
“You’re so stupid,” Jongin says after what feels like an eternity, and Sehun laughs without any humor, digging the heel of his palms into his eyelids until he sees stars burst behind them.
“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately, actually.”
Jongin scoffs, rolling his eyes at the remark. He purses his lips like he's thinking, and then he says, slowly, uncertainly, “I wanted you to ask me.”
It takes a moment before the words register, and Sehun pulls his hands away from his eyes slowly. “I did ask you, though,” he replies, and Jongin rolls his eyes again, this time knocking his fist into Sehun’s arm, none too gently.
“I know that,” Jongin sighs, looking down at his feet. “I was… Junmyeon was telling me he was glad you asked me. We were talking about you, Sehun.” He looks a little flustered, now, rubbing at his noticeably red cheeks. “I can't believe you couldn't tell that it was you all along. You’re so dense.”
“It's not like you told me,” Sehun says, and an unconscious smile nags at the corner of his lips. “I didn't want to ask you to come as my friend. I wanted you to be my date,” he admits, and Jongin raises his brows. “I probably should've made that more clear.”
“Probably.”
Sehun reaches his hand out, pulling Jongin’s hand away from his face and into his lap. He smooths his thumb over his knuckles, and laughs a little. “This really isn't how I planned on telling you I've been a little in love with you since middle school,” he murmurs, and then grimaces. “I can't believe Baekhyun was right.”
Jongin laughs now, fingers curling a little against Sehun’s palm. “Does this mean we can have fun tonight as dates?” he jokes, only half kidding, and Sehun grins.
“Only if you'll let me take you on a proper date sometime,” Sehun agrees, getting to his feet and pulling Jongin up beside him. Jongin smiles at the idea, and nods once. “Let's go dance, or something,” he says, and pulls Jongin out towards the crowd.