Chapter Text
The apartment’s quiet was suffocating, a dense and heavy thing which Xiaoshuai could feel pressing in on him from all directions.
This hadn’t been what he had been expecting.
“I found a way to kill two birds with one stone! Chengyu is going to pursue someone else!”
For once, the memory of his dear friend’s voice made his stomach curdle, fist tightening over the neck of the beer bottle. He had bought the bottles to set up a scene, and yet now, he really wished he hadn’t thrown all of the beer down the drain.
“Going to pursue someone else!”
Xiaoshuai snarled, the storm of emotions clashing in his heart and head, and making his vision flash red. Rejected. Again.
He laughed a cruel laugh. Why was he feeling sad? He had known from the start, clocked exactly the kind of man Guo Chengyu was.
Xiaoshuai swung the bottle, gulping the last quarter of it in one big gulp. His chest heaved, and his eyes welled with tears that he refused to fall.
Being single was better.
Didn’t he know all too well the danger of handing his heart over to someone? How easy it was for the other person to crush it? Or worse, discard it like it was worthless.
Like Xiaoshuai was worthless.
His cuckoo clock rang, chiming 10 o’clock.
Xiaoshuai clenched his jaw.
Fuck this.
Fuck sitting around waiting for that stupid Chi Cheng and his stupid smirk and stupid threats.
Fuck moping around because an asshole decided to move on.
Fuck the pity party.
Xiaoshuai growled, anger winning out over the other dark thoughts going through his head.
Fuck everything.
He didn’t need to love someone to sleep with them.
It had been months, and while he was usually able to take care of himself, today the urge to feel other hands on him, to feel the press of a warm body, even that of a stranger whose name he wouldn’t bother learning would be better than the cold bed that awaited him otherwise.
He set his bottle down with more force than necessary, hissing when the bottle broke.
Xiaoshuai cursed as a glass fragment pricked his palm.
He got up carefully, and soon had the mess cleaned up. He then went to the bathroom, showering and bandaging his hand as he inspected his clothes.
He dug through his usual casual wear and extra scrubs, a smirk curling his lips as he pulled out the semi-sheer black crop top and dark capri jeans which molded to his legs perfectly. He dressed, opting for a white bomber jacket to throw on top. He stepped back into the bathroom, pulling out a small pouch from the back of his sink.
He retrieved the bottle of eyeliner, leaning forward to apply it with practiced ease. He put in his contacts, and tussled his hair, smirking at this sight of himself.
He wasn’t blind, he knew how he looked, and today he looked like a feast waiting to be consumed.
He put everything away, collecting his phone and wallet, and left the apartment, tucking his keys into his pocket.
He wasn’t planning on coming back home tonight.