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Niall is three and Louis is five and Louis is the best person Niall has ever met.
Louis literally jumps into his life, climbing the fence of Niall's new house and giving him a hug while talking nineteen to the dozen about anything and everything and how he and Niall are going to be best friends. Niall doesn't think he has any choice in the matter but they've just moved here from Ireland and everyone talks funny and nothing's the same anymore so maybe Louis will make things better even if he has one of those funny accents too.
When his mum tucks him into his old bed in his new room he tells her all about Louis and how they’re going to be best friends forever. He’s never had a best friend before, he’s only three after all. Greg, his brother, doesn’t count. He stinks.
His mum laughs when he says all this and kisses his forehead saying she wishes she has a best friend like Louis. Niall might share him with his mum but only a little bit.
--
Niall's six now and Louis is eight. They play all the time: pirates, cops and robbers, tig, cowboys and indians, hide and seek. Louis makes Niall laugh until Niall's tummy hurts and he doesn't want to laugh any more but he can't stop. He teaches Niall bad words that he hears at school and he always comes to play with Niall for a bit at lunchtime. He brings his friend Stan and Niall brings Sean but when they all play it's not as good as when it's just Niall and Louis.
They try camping in Niall's back garden. Niall's mum makes them hot chocolate and they huddle together telling ghost stories. They end up back in Niall's room at half nine, burrowed under the covers and reassuring each other it's just the wind making that wailing nose, not the ghost of Mary Shaw.
--
Niall breaks his arm when he's eight. It's sort of Louis's fault although Louis will argue that Niall fell off the skateboard himself and was not pushed in any way. At ten Louis wants to be a doctor and twists and bends Niall's when he's trying to bandage it. Louis's mum shouts at him for making it worse but Niall clings onto Louis's hand all the way to the hospital.
Louis covers his bright green cast in drawings; ones of Niall battling a dragon, and being a world class magician. He writes things too, little scribbles to make Niall laugh. Niall finds I love you loads please get your arm fixed soon printed onto the underside of his arm so he can only see it if he twists his head to a funny angle. He doesn't look at it when he's with Louis because Louis blushes and scowls and just complains that he needs someone better to play football with because Zayn sucks.
--
When Niall is twelve Louis is fourteen and won't shut up about the girls he's kissed. He gives away too much detail and doesn't blush a bit even though Niall's cheeks are burning just listening to him.
It's like this: Niall thinks he likes boys. Well, he likes Louis and Louis is a boy. Girls are okay, he supposes. They're pretty and they smell nice and they have cute laughs but Niall doesn't really want that. Besides, Louis is prettier than any girl Niall's ever seen and his laugh is ten times better.
So you see, Niall doesn't really want to hear about Louis's latest conquest ("she was gagging for it, mate"). Instead Niall runs their names together: HannahLeighAnneRebeccaEleanor adding his name to the end.
And then one day, not long after Niall’s thirteenth birthday, they're sitting on Niall's bed with a plate of his mum's freshly baked cookies between them "doing homework" (if doing homework means playing FIFA then sure. They're doing homework) when Louis leans over and kisses Niall softly, his lips tasting like Fanta.
He keeps his lips pressed there, waiting. Niall thinks hard, trying to remember all the films he’s seen where the hero gets the girl and they have the big kiss. He pushes back, tentatively resting a hand on Louis's chest. His heart is beating really fast. Louis smiles against his lips, opens his mouth a little, and then pulls back, running a hand through Niall’s hair and looking a little pink.
Niall touches his lips, wet from where Louis kissed them.
"You stole my first kiss, Lou," he says like it’s a bad thing when it’s actually the best thing that could have ever happened to him.
"Yeah?" Louis smiles, his eyes shining. "Well you stole mine, too, so. We're even."
"But - but all the girls."
Louis shrugs, oblivious to the fact that he has just rocked Niall's world - this is a very big deal to Niall; as it should be. “I lied.”
Niall’s tummy is flipping over and over again, he feels sick but so good at the same time. Will he always feel this way now he’s thirteen? Or just around Louis?
They kiss again. And again and again and again. Sometimes it leads to more sometimes it doesn’t. It’s not official, they don’t talk about, and Niall doesn’t care when Louis starts kissing Nick from the football team too. Really, he doesn’t. It’s not like he owns Louis (although he did get his first kiss and that’s pretty special, right?).
--
Niall is fifteen and his life is falling apart. His mum tells him to stop being so dramatic but how can he when his best friend is moving away. He has Zayn still, and Zayn's great, but he's not Louis.
Louis cries when he says goodbye and promises he'll keep in touch, that he'll be back every weekend, Manchester isn't that far away from Doncaster. Niall remembers the first promise Louis made him - that they'll be best friends forever - and clings on tight, believing him.
But Louis doesn't come and he barely texts and Niall doesn't want to believe Louis has broken his promise because Louis wouldn't do that, he wouldn't, but maybe he has. Maybe a boy called Harry who has curly hair and is amazing at football and who takes up too much space in Louis's already too small messages has taken over Louis's life and made him forget Niall.
Zayn misses Louis too, Niall can tell. But he spends the whole time comforting Niall with sweets and endless rounds of Fifa and more sweets and more Fifa. And then sweets turn into kisses and it's just like when Niall first moved here: everything changes.
The kisses continue, Niall's heart continues to mend, and even glow a bit, and Louis fades from his mind bit by bit. Not completely, just enough so that his heart doesn't hurt so much anymore.
Zayn is easy where Louis was intense. Open instead of closed. He kisses Niall because he wants to, not because he feels he needs to. He makes Niall smile and he doesn’t make him cry by going off with Nick Grimshaw.
But -
But he doesn’t make Niall laugh like Louis did. He doesn’t know about the time capsule buried under Niall’s hut that he and Louis put there when he was nine. Zayn’s great, Niall thinks he could love him, but he’s not - he’s not Louis.
The thing with Louis is that when he likes you he digs in deep, getting into every aspect of your life so that when he leaves you can’t forget him because he’s inside you, he’s everywhere, whether you like it or not.
Maybe Niall’s not completely over Louis.
--
Niall is eighteen and happy. Zayn is nineteen and making Niall happy. Louis is twenty. Niall doesn’t know how happy Louis is.
He has a car - a really cool truck, actually - and a job in the local pub where Louis somehow managed to buy himself and Niall a beer when he was seventeen. He has a Zayn too. Niall thinks everyone should have a Zayn; they make everything better.
"What d'you wanna do for dinner tonight?"
Niall looks up from his guitar; he has a gig tonight, just a small one in the pub but a gig nonetheless. He's been trying to break into the music industry for a while, playing tiny places every couple of weeks, sending demos to places in London, he's just waiting for his breakthrough night. It's coming, he can tell.
"We could just grab something at the pub?" Niall tilts his head up to kiss Zayn's his hand curling round the back of his head to pull him closer. He smiles against Zayn's mouth then tugs so Zayn falls over the back of the couch onto his lap.
"Twat." Zayn laughs, twisting so he's lying on top of Niall, pushing the guitar onto the floor. He leans down and kisses Niall properly, curling a hand in the hair at the back of Niall's neck. "I love you."
"I love you, too." Niall grins, pulling at Zayn's bottom lip with his teeth.
Louis who?
--
Niall's left Zayn in the booth at the back of the pub while Harry Styles, a talent scout and record producer from Manchester, leads him through to the back room, saying things like just what we've been looking for and you're really great, Niall and lemme just call my boss wait in here.
It doesn't feel real. That after all this time he's finally getting somewhere. Someone actually wants to hear his music. Bloody hell.
Niall can't sit down; pacing round the room as he waits for Harry. He chews at his nails, pulling at a hangnail with his teeth and nearly biting his finger off when he heard footsteps and jumps.
He spins on the spot, expecting Harry and seeing the furthest person from him.
"Niall," Louis stops in the doorway to the dingy back room of the pub. He looks torn between crying and laughing; Niall feels the same (leaning more towards crying). Louis standing in front of him. His best friend Louis the Louis that hasn't spoken to him in three years. He's here. Right in front of Niall. "Hi."
Niall snorts. "Yeah, hi."
Louis looks so different and yet completely the same. His hair is styled in some sort of tousled fringe, a tub of product and a brush away from the scruffy mess he had last time Niall saw him. He's shorter than Niall now, Niall can tell from here, and he's bulked up; biceps Niall couldn't fit his hand around and wide shoulders. But his eyes are still that piercing blue that Niall could never look away from, his smile still perfect when he tries.
"It's. It's good to see you again," Louis says. It's so formal; so not them.
"So why are you back in town?" Niall's angry, see. He's angry at Louis for leaving and not remembering Niall, he's angry at Zayn for being so nice to Niall for all these years, for loving him because Louis wouldn't, and he's angry at himself because even after all this Niall still loves Louis. "Just felt like popping in for a quick visit, laugh at your old life?"
"Harry was called up here to do a bit of business and I thought I might as well come along for old times' sake. I've been wanting to come back for ages, see you and Zayn."
Everything about this is unfair. "Yeah, well, we don't want to see you so - wait. Harry? Harry Styles the music rep? That's your Harry?"
"That's my Harry," Louis laughs nervously. "I talked about you all the time. It drove him mad." Niall can't help but leap on the past tenses, and did he just talk about Niall or Niall and Zayn. What did he tell Harry about him. Niall's been out of Louis's life for three years, he wants to know everything he's missed, every single little detail even if it's like a bullet to the chest. And then he wants to make Louis ask about his life, he wants to prove how well he's coped without him; he wants to brag.
"All good things I hope," Niall says, trying for a joke. He wants to know if Louis told Harry what they used to do, that Niall gave Louis his first kiss, first handjob, first blowjob. Sex. Or if he keeps it locked up inside; too special or too shameful to tell.
Louis shrugs,"I've missed you, Nialler," and steps up and hugs him tight, wrapping his arms round Niall's neck. "So much."
Reluctantly, fighting his body's instinct to grab him and never let him go, Niall curls his own arms round Louis's waist. He rests his head on Louis's shoulder and breathes in deeply. He's thirteen and getting his first kiss, fourteen and crying because he likes boys, fifteen and falling in love. "Three years, Lou. Three years of nothing."
Louis sighs against Niall's neck. "I know. I know. I'm sorry." Niall doesn't say anything. "I made plans to run away back here for weeks. Nothing worked. And then I met Harry and I concentrated on football and decided you'd be better off without me anyway so maybe things had worked out for the best. But I. I always wanted to come back to you, Niall."
Niall wants to pull away, leave Louis like he left him. But he knows by now that you can't leave Louis, especially when he's wrapped around you telling you he misses you and his hair is up your nose; it's suffocating, he can't think straight.
"I missed you too, Lou. But, Louis, everything's different now."
"You're tall now," Louis leans back and has to tilt his head a bit to look at Niall properly. Yeah Niall took one of those later growth spurts, he's almost taller than Zayn now which Zayn is not happy about. Niall measures them almost daily.
"I am," Niall laughs, running a hand down Louis's side.
"I don't like having to look up at you."
Niall tries to reply but then Louis is kissing him, a hand curling in Niall's hair to pull him closer. Niall's brain short-circuits and he falls into it, licking into Louis's mouth and drawing a whimper from him.
It stops just as quickly as it starts when Niall pushes Louis away, stepping away in shock. He wipes his mouth, pressing at his bottom lip and tasting Malibu and lemonade; Louis's guilty pleasure drink that Niall still finds as disgusting as he ever did.
Louis looks sheepish, tugging at his tshirt and fiddling with his fringe. He's smiling, hopeful. No. No. Niall can't do this. This was all he wanted at fifteen but now he's eighteen and maybe earlier when he first saw Louis again he thought he was still in love with him and maybe he is, maybe he always will be, but things aren't so simple any more (not that they ever really were).
"Niall -,"
"Zayn and I are together." he says in a rush. "I love him. Lou, I can't. I can't do that to him."
The thing is Louis doesn't even look surprised. He steps further away, rubbing the back of his neck. "I always kinda thought there was something there..." he says, smiling and wrong because there was never anything there until Louis left, "I just wanted - I don't know what I wanted. I have Harry. I love Harry. I don't know what I was thinking... Shit. I'm sorry, Niall."
"You're a piece of shit, Louis." and in the same breath: "I loved you. For so long."
Louis shakes his head sadly. "You were fifteen. You didn't really love me, not like that. I was just there."
"You weren't ever just there."
Harry comes back before Louis can reply; beaming and waving papers around. "How's the big reunion going, lads? Fate's a fucking star, eh? Never could've planned this. Louis never used to shut up about you, Niall; I never knew whether to be jealous or not. Best best friend he's ever had he said. Had to meet my competition."
But then he leans down and presses a kiss to Louis's forehead, the tension leaving Louis's shoulders the second his lips touch, and it's clear that they're the best friends that Louis never let Niall be.
"So you're together? That's lovely." Sure, lovely.
Harry laughs. "Yeah two and a half years, isn't that right, Lou?"
"Yep. Wouldn't know what to do without you, Haz." Louis rolls his eyes at Niall, the fucking cheek of it. Niall can't watch this. He needs to find Zayn fuck the demo Harry wants.
Surprisingly, it's Louis that rescues him. "Listen. I'm gonna go wait in the car, okay? It was good catching up, Niall. See you around."
Louis waves, smiles in a sad little way that makes Niall's heart clench even though he is so fucking angry and confused, and then he's gone.
Niall and Harry both watch him go, noise from the pub filtering through before the door swings shut and it's quiet again.
"So! I'm just off the phone with my boss and he loved everything I told him about you. We're gonna get you to send us a demo tape but that's really just a formality at this stage, and in the next couple of months you can come down to London and sign the contract to get the ball rolling on the recording process." Harry tells him all this with a smile a mile wide. "How's that sound?"
"Fucking brilliant!" Niall laughs, exhilarated. This is all he never let himself dream. He's been picturing performing in front of sold out arenas since he was this high and maybe arenas is a bit far-fetched but it's a leap in the right direction. "I can't believe this is really happening."
Harry grins. "Yeah it'll take a while to sink in. When Louis got that offer from Man United it took him days to actually hit him."
"Louis got a deal with Manchester United?!"
"He never told you?! So fucking modest that boy. You know it took me three days to get him to tell his mum?"
Louis had always been good at football, always had a ball under his arm going on about Beckham this and Beckham that. He made Niall watch Bend It Like Beckham thirty times. He would score goal after goal for the school and then the local team, Niall and Zayn cheering him on at every match, but Niall never thought to think any more of it, always took it to be just a hobby. Now here he is: signed for the biggest team in the country, Beckham's old team.
"Yeah he's... he's something else. " Niall says, brushing a hand over his bottom lip. "I should really go find my boyfriend but thanks so much, Harry. This is amazing. Give him my congratulations, yeah?" Because at the end of the day, hormones aside, Louis is still his best friend and this is a big fucking deal.
Zayn is so so happy for Niall when Niall tells him about the record deal in a mess of swearing and crying. He buys Niall a beer and then takes him back to their flat and fucks him into the mattress telling him he's going to be a star and don't you forget me when you're famous and I love I love you I love you.
Niall doesn't mention Louis.
--
When Niall is twenty he plays a sell out show. He smiles at Zayn who is watching in the wings and blows him a kiss between songs. He doesn't know Louis and Harry are in the audience.
Niall forces Zayn to come to the Man Utd v. Chelsea match a month later. It's so weird seeing Louis on the pitch wearing the red strip and talking to players they've grown up idolising. Niall met Ne-Yo last week which is, yeah, kind of the same thing.
When Louis scores 20 minutes into the first half Niall leaps to his feet and cheers loudly, clapping till his hands hurt, Zayn whopping and yelling beside him.
--
Zayn and Niall don't have an explosive breakup. It's inevitable, easy and even - Niall thinks tentatively - amicable. See, they love each other. Niall thinks they always will. But Niall's career is continuing to grow and grow and Zayn's always busy with his course at university, working on all these projects with another student - Liam, Niall thinks his name is - and so it's only fair.
Also, Louis has been in the papers a lot more. All the major teams want him, he's the shining new talent, and everyone can't stop talking about him. Niall doesn't talk about him, ever, and that's how Zayn put two and two together and came up with Niall's in love with Louis.
He thinks Zayn's always known. How could he not, really. He tells Zayn over and over again that he was never a second choice because he wasn't. Zayn seems to believe him and doesn't get angry at all, just looks at Niall with something a lot like sympathy in his eyes.
Niall moves out of the flat he shared with Zayn. Zayn had said he could stay if he wanted but Niall needs to be alone for a while, needs to get his head together once and for all.
Of course the best way to get over someone you've loved forever is to follow their career through the papers and go to as many of their football matches as possible. It doesn't help that Niall's music rep is Louis's long-term boyfriend. He wants to hate Harry but you can't. It's physically impossible to hate Harry Styles. He's funny and witty and so nice to Niall whenever he phones up to discuss Niall's next album or upcoming tour or sometimes just for a chat. He drops Louis into the conversation too many times, keeps saying that him and Niall should meet up again for old times sake, and every time feels like a bullet through Niall's chest. He comes up with excuses every time why can't Harry get the hint.
Twenty two and single for the first time since he was sixteen. He should be taking advantage of this, anyone else probably would in his position, but after a few one night stands with some of his fans he gets fed up of waking up alone with a stale taste in his mouth and his heart still heavy.
It takes another two years before Niall meets Louis again. He moves to America for a bit; the official reason is to record his next album but the truth is he just wants to be in a country where Louis's face isn't plastered across the face of the papers. He came out, see, and a gay footballer with a boyfriend high up in the music industry is something new for the British public. The papers call them the new Posh and Becks and that's the last straw for Niall.
So Niall's across the pond for some pining and alone time.
He stays for a year, writes slow sad songs that he can never record because some of them actually mention Louis by name and that Posh is a fucking cunt who was the worst Spice Girl anyway. It's not the most productive trip and he should probably stay a bit longer and do more work but he misses the rain, and so he heads back to England, the lyrics crumpled up in his bag. He signs some stuff for fans at the airport and then hurries home and falls right into bed.
His phone wakes him up and he suddenly regrets setting Zayn’s ringtone as The One That Got Away by Katy Perry because as ironic and slightly hilarious as it is (it’s not hilarious at all, actually. He must’ve been drunk at the time. It is ironic, though, right? Wait. Would that ringtone not be more fitting for Louis? If Louis had his number), the opening chords are too loud and thumpy right beside his ear when he’s tired and jetlagged.
“You seen the papers?”
“Zayn, it’s...” Niall pulls the phone away from his ear to check the time, “twenty past nine on a Saturday morning. Of course I’ve checked the papers.”
“Stop being a sarcastic twat,” Niall likes that he and Zayn have managed to stay friends. He really would’ve missed the loving nicknames otherwise.
“What’s happened then?” He’s not getting out of bed. He’s not.
Zayn huffs a laugh like he can't really believe what he's about to say. “Louis and Harry spilt up.”
“Shit. You serious?” Niall rakes a hand through his hair, jittery despite being half asleep half a minute before. Louis. Not with Harry. Meaning he’s single. Presumably. And Niall. Not with Zayn. Also single. “Zayn.”
Zayn laughs at the other end. Why is Niall friends with him? Also why is Zayn the one telling him this? Shouldn’t he be in a jealous, bitter rage, making sure Niall goes nowhere near Louis? He asks Zayn as much.
“Look, Niall. I love you. We were great together and it was amazing while it lasted but we both know that although I wasn’t a second choice - Niall, I know you weren’t using me like that, it’s okay. But you and Louis. You and Louis go too far back, it’s inevitable what’s going to happen. It has to happen and when it does you’ll be happy and you know all I want is for you to be happy.”
"What did I do to deserve you for all those years? No, don't answer that - what am I supposed to do now?" Niall chews at his nail till it bleeds so he shoves it in his mouth, sucking on it. "It's been ages since I saw him last. He doesn't feel the same, Zayn."
He wishes they were discussing this in person so he could see the way Zayn rolls his eyes, shaking his head at Niall but doing that big supportive smile all the same. "Niall, you won't know until you try, right? What have you got to lose?"
--
Niall doesn't know how he's going to reach Louis. He doesn't have a number, an address, anything. He could phone up Harry and ask but that seems a bit wrong. The only thing he knows is the team Louis plays for and where they play every week.
The next match at Old Trafford isn't till next Saturday which is eight days away, eight days too long. Niall fills the time with takeaways and beer and slaying Josh from his band at FIFA. See, he can be good at football too.
He feels like an idiot sitting in the stands himself, he should've dragged Josh with him, but it means he can stare at Louis as much as he wants, which, really, is the whole reason why he's here.
Manchester United win, of course they do. Niall cheers and stamps his feet along with everyone else then stays in his seat while the stadium empties. When it's only him and the cleaners who have appeared, weary frowns on their faces, he runs down to the tunnel where the players disappeared through. He pulls a few strings, being a popster definitely has its perks, and then he's being pointed towards a door and he's here. He really made it.
Taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, he knocks three times wincing at how loud they sound. He hears shouts on the other side, lots of laughing, and then the door is pulled open and Wayne fucking Rooney is standing right there.
"Y'alright, mate?"
Miraculously, Niall manages to keep his cool. "Uh, hi. Hey. Wow, it's great to meet you. Big fan." Okay, he doesn't manage it entirely but come on, it's Wayne Rooney. "I like your wife."
Wayne laughs, startled. "Thanks, mate. Me too. Hey, you're that singer aren't you? Of that song."
"Yeah, that's me." Niall agrees, and he could've just taken credit for an Olly Murs song or who knows what but who cares.
"Who is it, Wayne?" someone shouts behind him, "Another fan for Tommo?"
There's a muffled reply which can only be Louis which creates another round of laughter. Niall's palms start to sweat, what is he doing here?
Wayne Rooney grins, "What'd you say your name was, mate?"
"Niall. I'm actually here to see Louis?"
"Come in, then. I think he's in the shower."
So Niall ends up in the changing rooms with the biggest team in the country, feeling completely out of place and out of his depth but laughing and smiling and asking questions as the team get changed around him.
It's five minutes later that Louis appears and word must have gotten around that Niall's here because he doesn't look surprised in the slightest. Instead he does that half-smile Niall knows he uses when he's trying to look okay when he's really not. His stomach twists violently.
"Hey, eh, lads, mind giving us a minute?"
They grumble and cat-call, laughing every second as they clear out. Louis clearly has them wrapped round his little finger, too.
They stare at each other for the longest time once they're alone, six feet apart but the closest they've been in a long time. Louis's still in his kit, his hair sweaty and sticking to his face.
"You broke up with Harry."
"It was a mutual decision. I think." Louis tilts his head, frowning. "They're never really mutual decisions are they? One of you has to think it first, and the other just agrees to stop themselves looking weak."
Niall shrugs, he doesn't have much experience with relationships. His and Zayn's had ended pretty mutually, but maybe it hadn't. Maybe Zayn had wanted it for ages. Maybe he had.
"So how's Zayn?"
“Oh,” Niall says, and then, “Zayn’s fine. He’s good. We’re happy.”
“Yeah?” Louis says with a smile. Niall doesn’t want a smile, he wants tears and anger and why won’t you love me instead because he’s been through all that and so it’s only fair. But all he’s getting is a smile which even looks genuine; Louis’s eyes crinkling at the sides. “I’m happy for you, mate.”
“Me too. Uh I just wanted to say congratulations for everything. I should've said it before but the timing was -"
"Never right," Louis finishes, "I get it. And thanks, it's been nearly three years and I still don't think it's sunk in yet, you know?"
"You're telling me." He laughs because singing in front of thousands of people shouting your lyrics back to you is something Niall is never going to get his head around either.
"Hey!" Louis is properly smiling now, one of the real ones he used to keep just for Niall showing all his teeth and his eyes shining. "You deserve some congratulations too! Big popstar now, eh?"
Niall laughs, ducks his head, and this is okay. Talking about each others success and not about actual feelings is okay, it's good. "Something like that, yeah."
"I have both your albums. Listen to them all the time. It drove Harry mental," Louis says, moving a tiny bit closer to Niall. "There's some great songs on there. You never let on you were a writer when we were kids."
Niall shrugs, moves closer too. "I didn't know I was either. It was after you left that I really started doing anything about it."
"My leaving was clearly a good thing then," and it shouldn't sound like a question but it does.
"You're an idiot if you really think that. It was the worst thing that could've possibly happened," Niall wasn't planning on going through with the confession any more, not with things going so well, but here he goes, "You're the reason why so many of my songs are so depressing. I loved you, Louis. I still do and I hate it because you've been shit to me ever since we were fourteen."
"What about Zayn?" Louis asks weakly.
"It's always been about you," Niall gets out, almost shouting. "I loved Zayn but he was never you. You fucked off and got a new best friend and a boyfriend and a perfect life and Zayn was all I had left. And then you kissed me that day in the pub, why the fuck would you do that, Louis. I just - I've always wanted you and I've always loved you. This is me laying it all out, Lou. I'm done."
Louis's fiddling with his sleeve refusing to look at him. He steps closer to Niall and raises a hand to touch his chest, feeling the way Niall's heart is beating double time. This makes his smile, silly and soft. He lifts his other hand and places it on Niall's cheek, still not looking directly at him.
"It's like a movie isn't it?" Louis starts, his voice low and sort of raspy. "One of those romantic comedies where the two characters keep dating other people when the audience knows they're clearly meant for each other," Louis lifts his head to finally meet Niall's eyes, his eyes blue and sparkling. "I hate those movies. Always end up shouting at the screen because how could they not know that the person they're meant to be with has been there all along?"
"Maybe they did know and they were just afraid of getting hurt."
"I suppose that's understandable. But what's life without a little risk? If Jess hadn't left her sister's wedding to play in the final she wouldn't have gotten a scholarship in America or gotten to shag Joe."
"Please don't relate us to Bend It Like Beckham," Niall says, looping an arm round Louis's waist and pulling him closer. "Please, just. Get to the point you're making."
Louis tilts his head to the side, "I don't think I have one." He grins, and then leans up on his tip-toes and kisses Niall.
Niall's ready for it this time. He's been ready for years, really. The kiss is frantic, messy, long overdue. Niall cups the back of Louis's neck to pull him flush against him, licking into his mouth and smiling at the noise Louis makes, like he's been wanting this for as long as Niall has. Niall clings to that thought, biting at Louis's bottom lip before pulling away, kissing him once, twice, three times more.
He opens his eyes to see Louis smiling at him, his lips red and his eyes bright.
"So..."
"So..."
"So..."
"I could do this all day," Louis warns, his fingers curling at the nape of Niall's neck.
Niall huffs a laugh. "So could I. But, Lou. What is this?"
"Well what happens in the film after the big kiss?" Louis leans up and kisses Niall again, for emphasis maybe or maybe just because.
"We run off into the sunset?" Niall smirks, his head still spinning from the feel of Louis's mouth on his.
Louis giggles, literally giggles. "If you like. I have a match next week, though, so it'd need to be a quick trip. But, Niall?"
"Yeah?"
"I've always loved you, I hope you know that." Niall didn't, not completely; the confession makes him feel like he could float all the way out the changing rooms and up into the sky. It justifies all the years he spent pining; all the ice cream and the tears and all the fucking Taylor Swift songs. "And - and I'm sorry for being a shit for so many years."
Niall smiles, glad for the apology. Those years had hurt him, yeah, but what's the use in clinging onto the past when he can just enjoy the future? He's grinning now, so hard his face hurts and Louis laughs at him, pressing his thumb into the dimple in his cheek. "We've got so much time to make up for."
"Any ideas, Nialler?"
"I'm doing a show tonight if you want to come?" He wants Louis to see him perform, doing what he does best, and maybe somewhere down the line (it's more likely to come out when he's drunk one night honestly) he'll tell Louis which songs on the albums are about him, even the bad ones.
"And then back to yours and you can fuck me?" Louis asks, his eyes wide and contradictory to his words.
Niall swallows, "Sounds good to me."
Louis leans up so his mouth is brushing Niall's ear, making Niall shiver when he whispers, "I met David Beckham last week."
"Is that supposed to turn me on?"
"Yes," Louis says, licking the shell of Niall's ear for good measure. "Is it working?"
It is, actually. But it's more the fact that Louis is pressed up against him, sweating and nibbling at Niall's ear, that's making Niall hard. Becks and Louis together, though, that's something he could work with. "No. I met Justin Bieber last month, that make you horny?"
Louis laughs, delighted, "We're right superstars aren't we?"
--
It's different this time round, not that they ever really were anything before. Louis all but moves in after a month; his CDs slotting in with Niall's, his bright trousers, tight t-shirts and braces fitting into Niall's wardrobe beside Niall's hoodies and jeans and the rest of his junk cluttered across the rest of the flat. He tries to make them breakfast in bed a few times but sets the smoke alarm off making toast so Niall takes over. Louis sings along to the radio loudly, sprawled out on the bed in nothing but his training socks, telling Niall to hurry the fuck up they aren't young forever. Niall writes more songs, happier ones that make Louis happy and Harry happy and his fans happy.
They work well together, like two pieces of a jigsaw, and part of Niall wishes they hadn't wasted so many years apart but maybe they'd both needed that, to grow up, to realise what they were missing, and hey, they got here in the end.
Niall's trying to write a new song, fiddling with his guitar and scribbling down halfhearted attempts at lyrics when he feels Louis leap over the back of the couch, wrapping his arms round Niall's neck. "Fancy being my date for this Sports Personality thing, superstar?" Louis asks like it's not the biggest event in the sporting year.
"Suppose I might be able to fit it into my busy schedule."
"Perfect." Louis bites Niall's shoulder in what is clearly meant to be interpreted as a loving gesture. "I'm up for the big prize, you know. M'gonna be the star of the show."
"So modest, Lou. So modest."