Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Fade was in the Protocol’s small but cozy library when she felt it. 

She was sitting with a generic but time-filling mystery novel and a strong cup of Turkish coffee on a sofa in the library’s reading nook, the comfortable one with the cat-patterned throw blanket she had retrieved from Istanbul, not the hard-as-rocks couch with bumpy springs that Omen was knitting on. She did not know how he could stand sitting there for that long. Did he really not feel the springs poking out of the cushions? It was hard to tell with Omen. 

It had shaken her from their companionable silence. It was impossible not to feel it, with each second dragging the horrible dread torturously closer to their home, their quiet comfort.

Such intense feelings of grief and fear- no, not just fear, this went beyond that. This was terror . 

This- Something is wrong, Fade thought. Something is very wrong .

She stiffened in her seat as the movement of whatever this was stabilized. At their base. Landed, not stabilized.

The five-man team that had been sent out a day prior must have returned. And judging by the terror calling out to her, so deep she could feel it clear across base, stirring the Nightmare within, something had gone terribly wrong. Fade could feel an itchiness beginning to take hold in her forearm, hungry strands of darkness trying to materialize around it. She suppressed it for the moment, setting her coffee down and moving her other arm over to hold onto her forearm tightly. This was not a time for her radiance to Hunt. 

“Fade?” Omen asked in that gravely tenor of his, setting down his project and tools on the table. He must have noticed her sudden alarm, the claw marks on his dark mask glowing slightly brighter. “Is something the- Oh.” He continued, before dissolving out of sight in a swirl of blue mid-sentence. 

Ah. Here one moment and gone the next, as always.

Undoubtedly he must have felt something off with his own radiance and either teleported towards it or away from it. In Fade’s estimation, it was towards, as such a grave return would likely bring Sage out of her office in the infirmary and onto the landing pad. Fade surmised that had notified Omen, somehow. 

That must mean that someone is critically injured, or worse. Dead.  

A dreadful weight began to take root in her stomach at the thought. 

Fade quickly gulped down the rest of her coffee, barely feeling the burn in her throat, and stood up while throwing the book down on the table with Omen’s knitting project. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and hurriedly set off towards the hall, grabbing the throw blanket with her on the way out. 

***

Walking quickly down the well-lit halls, Fade began to loosen the hold on her radiance. She didn’t sense an active threat, so if she set her Prowler loose, it would not attack and instead lead her to the source of the fear as quickly as possible. At least, that is what her goal in doing so was. Hopefully the Nightmare will not fight me on it, surly bastard as It is.

Her heavy-booted footsteps echoed loudly on the metal floors behind her. In retrospect, she would blame that, along with her intense focus on the issue at hand, for what happened next. 

“Ya, jjindda [loser, weirdo], where are you off to in such a hurry? And what’s with the blanket? Awww, is the witchy lady cold and doesn’t have any spells to warm up?”

“ HASSIKTIR [fuck]! Jett?! For fuck’s sake, don’t do that!” Fade exclaimed, startled. Jett’s sudden appearance caused her to stumble on her feet and forced her to catch herself on the wall to her right, interrupting her hurried march. This girl is such a menace, Fade grumbled internally. They may have started getting along more since Jett, Sage, and Neon had visited her on vacation during the Vietnamese New Year ages back, but that didn’t stop Jett from being a little shit at every chance. 

“Don’t do what? Wait, don’t tell me I managed to scare THE scary lady herself! Losing your touch? This is hilarious, I should do this more often. Wait until I tell Phoenix about this after he gets back, you’re never going to hear the end of this.” The white-haired girl replied, smirking and standing with her arms crossed. She was wearing athletic pants over a t-shirt and a light jacket, and sweating. She had likely just come in from a run around base. Smugness oozed from her entire being. 

Such a little shit. I can’t believe I got spooked by Jett, of all people. That is… so embarrassing.

But this was not the time to get into a bickering match with Jett, they didn’t have time for this. She could feel the terror-grief getting worse, reaching a plateau. Now that she was getting closer, she could begin to distinguish more about the situation. 

Focusing again on releasing her radiance, Fade straightened back up and replied, “Yes, yes, congratulations on your amazing accomplishment, truly. But I do not have time for this, Jett, so either be quiet or go away. Lütfen [please].” She rolled her eyes and began to move again. 

She didn’t get far before being interrupted a second time by Jett, who was now a lot closer. 

“Damn, woke up on the wrong side of the bed this afternoon? You never answered where you’re going- Hey!” Jett stopped speaking, alarmed as her eyes focused on Fade’s Prowler beginning to leak out. “Is that your fucking witchy radiance? The hell are you doing, michilyeon [crazy bitch]?!” 

Fade sighed and stopped moving once again, it looked like Jett would not let her go without an explanation. This would be a lot easier if she actually had an explanation, but as of yet she was still only working off her radiant senses and the deductions she could make from that. Her radiant senses that some agents were still wary of, for fairly valid reasons. It would have to do.

Turning around to face Jett, looking straight into her steely blue eyes so she could get the severity across, Fade replied, “It’s Raze- no, not Raze, Killjoy. It’s got to be Killjoy, because Brimstone…” She cut herself off after speaking in a hurried tone, piecing together what she could as she spoke. She continued, “You said you would talk to Phoenix when he got back, right? The team has already returned, as far as I can tell. I’m going to meet them, and I really need to get moving.” Turning back around decisively, Fade began to make her way across the base once again. Raze’s grief was beginning to cloud out her empathic sense, and Brimstone’s was matching it. She could feel Phoenix’s guilt-fear and Reyna’s worried-fear. All that combined meant that it could only be Killjoy. Critically injured or dead she couldn’t tell, but it was bad. She couldn’t be sure that the physical states of the still conscious agents were fine either. 

Clearly her curt explanation wasn’t enough, though, because Jett broke her out of her deductive haze and stepped into pace beside her and started talking. Again. I should have known, Fade thought. She never lets go easily .

“What, really? How do you know, they shouldn’t be back for at least an hour or two and either way, we would have gotten a notification? I didn’t see any debrief email, and you still haven’t said what you’re getting your little shadow-dog thing out for. And what exactly about Killjoy?” Jett asked, skeptically. 

“It’s a cat, not a dog, and I can feel it, Jett. I don’t think the mission went as smoothly as planned, that’s why they’re back a bit earlier than expected. And someone, probably Killjoy, did not make it back alright. Which makes sense, she was the centerpiece of the plan and would have been in the most vulnerable position. Omen disappeared all of a sudden while we were in the library, so Sage must have gone out to meet them. My Prowler will help me get where they are as fast as possible.” Fade answered the barrage of questions still in a hurry, this time she did not stop walking while she spoke. She squeezed the blanket in her hands, calming herself with the softness of the knitted cats. 

If it wasn’t Killjoy, it could have been her. The mission was to locate the Omega coordinates of a site of interest, which she could have done as easily as Killjoy did, though perhaps in a different manner. Uncovering information was her specialty, after all. Cypher was also considered, the three of them being the most proficient with technological information gathering, but it was decided that Killjoy synergized with the team composition most.

So it could have been Fade, injured or dead out there. Life snuffed out of her as she desperately attempted to complete the mission. It likely would have been easier on the team had it been her, Raze and Brimstone would have been able to keep their composure at least. That was always a risk with agents as close-knit as those three were. It should have been me instead. But it wasn’t her, even if it would have been better for the team, it was Killjoy, and that made the situation so much worse.

It is not as if she hadn’t been faced with her own death or a dead teammate before, they all had at least once at this point, except perhaps their most recent initiates like Waylay and Tejo. She wasn’t sure. 

But this terror, this grief, wasn’t happening on a battlefield, they were now at their, her , home, and it felt particularly intense, and it kept tugging at her radiance, had been for at least half an hour now. She recognized now that the ominous feel she had been getting while reading was not from the subpar mystery novel, but from the Vulture getting closer. She needed to- she wasn’t sure, exactly, but she had to be there. I want to be there for them.

While Jett contemplated her next words, Fade finished freeing her Prowler. It bounded forward in the direction of the terror-grief-guilt storm, and she followed.

“You can feel- shit. Shit. Neon! Stop standing all the way back there like a blushing maiden and get over here! The away team might need our help.” Jett turned back slightly and yelled, maintaining her pace with Fade. Fade turned with her. Neon was standing against the wall at least fifteen feet behind them, in a similar getup to Jett with sweat soaking her clothes as well, clinging to her skin. The only noticeable difference was Neon’s surge protector, slightly hidden under the jacket but eye-catching nonetheless. 

In her frazzled state, Fade hadn’t even noticed Neon coming in shortly after Jett. Not that she had noticed Jett either. She forgot that if Jett had come back from a run, she had likely been running with Neon, they liked to race together and test their abilities against each other. They must have been running indoors, considering the storm outside, but decided on jackets because of the chilliness of their base today. She still looks cold, though- I have my blanket, but the returning team may need it. Pity I do not have any other layers to offer- Fade shook herself from the thought. She had to focus.

She did still wonder why Neon had been standing so far back and had never said anything, unlike Jett. But she could think about it some other time. 

Neon began making her way over, static sounds filling the air as her footsteps started glowing and she sped up. As she caught up with them, her tan brow was furrowed and she appeared to be biting her lip. She had likely heard Fade talking, these echoing hallways carried noise.

She kept silent. All three of them did, lost in their heads as they contemplated what may have happened to their teammates. Friends.

They were not pretty thoughts.

The three of them continued forward after Fade’s Prowler, now running. 

***

It was already over by the time they arrived. The revival, that is, as Fade had assumed. She dismissed her Prowler as she looked upon the crystal shards littering the ground that proved her right. 

She did not want to have been right, but knew she had been before they even stepped outside. She had felt Killjoy’s confused-fear the moment she regained consciousness, and Raze’s terror gradually coming down to a relieved-fear. 

So she knew. She knew it was over, and she knew it could have been avoided entirely if it had just been her.

The scene was about as she expected. The ground was wet and slippery, the storm had broken only moments before they arrived. Jett and Neon split off from her in the direction of Killjoy and Raze, who were holding each other close on the ground. Raze was whispering in Killjoy’s ear, as far as Fade could tell, likely assurances. Coming back from a revival was never easy. She didn’t know if it was better or worse for anyone to be revived at their base compared to a battlefield. On the one hand, they were in a safe area and not actively at risk, but on the other hand, a battlefield is where the trauma of being revived would commonly be associated. To have that trauma associated with our home base, instead… I do not know about anyone else, but I would not want that for myself, Fade thought.

Phoenix was standing a few feet away from Killjoy and Raze, looking lost in thought before he spotted Jett and Neon arriving. He began walking towards them shortly after.

Reyna was close to Sage, as if she had just helped her up but was no longer touching her. Sage was… Her emotions were complex and difficult to parse. There was, of course, fear there, but connected to shame. 

Fade understood that kind of shame. It made a person want to push people away, reject any reaching hands. She recognized that in their body language. Sage was covering something up, though Fade couldn’t see it from this distance, and she was slightly turned away from Reyna. Hiding.

Fade couldn’t help but think that as difficult as her own radiance was, it must be excruciating to hold the kind of power Sage does. The Nightmare may be a piç [bastard] to deal with, but the very line between life and death itself… Omen talked about it, sometimes. The way he did painted an image as bad as some of the visions the Nightmare gave her.

She would make sure to check in with Sage, later. When things weren’t quite this… downcast. The sun may have been bathing them in light now, but just as the storm left behind evidence of its anger, the remnants of grief were still present. 

Speaking of Omen, Fade did not spot him immediately. It was only after looking around that she saw him standing on the outskirts, observing the scene as she was. It was impossible to tell what exactly he was looking at given his mask, but his body, at least, was facing in the direction of Sage and Reyna. It felt as if he was looking at something that she couldn’t quite see, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Her radiance already showed her enough.

The last person on the scene was Brimstone. The fear emanating from him had barely receded. Fade knew that Brimstone had lost a lot of people in his time fighting. Seeing the girl he thought of as a daughter die in front of him must have brought back a lot of memories, all them dragging him down further.

Fade… Fade regretted the taunting accusations she had leveled at him in the dossier she had released, before learning that everything she thought she knew was wrong. She regretted all of them, the dossiers, after actually getting to know these people whose pasts she had torn open and left bleeding. 

She did not like feeling guilt, nor was she used to it. But she was self-aware enough to know that she had done something terrible. All the probing research she had done into their pasts, all the places she had visited, violated , did not mean she really knew them despite the haunting familiarity she projected in the dossiers, and that became evident to her shortly after joining the Protocol. 

She had been hurting, and she had made them hurt too. That did not excuse her from the consequences, she knew that. Now there is nothing left for me to do but be better, even as I keep striving towards the truth. 

Her efforts into finding him had reached a block she was unable to move past, despite what she now knew and the resources of Valorant. She would not, could not , give up, but her energy was better spent elsewhere for the time being.

That meant making sure Brimstone knew that no, he wasn’t leading Valorant to the slaughter as she had once confidently stated. He was already carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder when she had told him that. It was now her self-assigned duty to help him, to help all of them, lessen the strain. 

With that in mind, Fade steeled her resolve and began making her way over to Brimstone. They were all shaken up, they would need help with post-mission debriefing.

As she walked, she passed by the group surrounding Killjoy and Raze. Neon turned and looked up at her when she heard Fade getting closer. Her stare was one of solemnity, curiosity when her eyes flickered over to the blanket Fade still held, and something else Fade couldn’t quite recognize. Those eyes…

Fade draped her throw blanket over the shoulders of the girl in whose place she should have fallen, taking care not to dislodge her lover’s hands, and continued on her way without a word. Neon’s gaze remained burning into her back far after her exit.

***

Chapter Text

It was well into the evening by the time she wrapped up post-mission debriefing with Brimstone and the rest, the sun’s rays having mostly faded and the aftermath of the storm still hanging around their morale. She was not really required to be there, but they needed the help.

By now, with everyone’s emotions dulled down to a more manageable level, the tension stiffening her own spine had lessened. It was rare for Fade to be as flustered as she had been while trying to reach the away team, with all that she had seen and done in her life. She wasn’t used to concern for others affecting her that much, sans when it came to him. It was a relief to be calmer now. That didn’t change her desire to do more for them, though. 

The Omega coordinates they needed had successfully been retrieved. Killjoy had completed the mission despite falling at the end of it. She had grown so much from the girl Fade described in her dossier, or perhaps she had never been that girl. Maybe even a combo of both. Fade was not wrong, technically, to say what she had said about the consequences of Killjoy’s inventions, but there was an earnestness to the girl that Fade had not captured in her research. She truly wanted to do good. She just needed guidance on how to ensure that those wondrous inventions of hers did not fall to the wrong ends. 

That aside, now that they had the coordinates, plans would have to be drawn up and teams sent out. They could not lose this advantage while they had it.

But it could wait. For at least one night, it could wait. 

Fade would make sure that tonight, if nothing else, the battle-weary agents could rest. 

As everyone else made their way out, she stood up to approach Brimstone once again. The others would likely be heading to their quarters to freshen up, but she knew Brimstone, ever the focused leader, would remain behind for a few minutes. Of those who had gathered outside, Killjoy and Raze left together, as expected, while Reyna took off on her own. Jett and Phoenix were less hurried and left in the same direction as Killjoy and Raze. 

Neon sent a small smile Fade’s way before following after, a smile that caused a funny little flutter in her heart. 

Cute. 

Wait. Shit. 

Not the time.   

She… She could think about that later. Much later.

Sage had not attended the briefing, instead disappearing as soon as they entered the base with Reyna’s gaze following after her, and Omen had not even followed them inside. She thought so, at least. It was, as always, hard to tell with him.

Viper had met up with them inside before the debrief began, with Astra, Chamber, Tejo, and Waylay trickling in one by one after. Cypher had almost certainly been patched in through the cameras. Being newer, Tejo and Waylay had remained quiet for most of the debrief, but closely observed the happenings. The agents who did not attend would be asked to read up on the mission, but were not required to be in the meeting room. They would be notified later if they were needed to plan out the next stage. Out of those who had been present, only Viper was still in the room when Fade paced towards Brimstone, but was gone by the time she reached him.

“Brimstone?” Fade asked in a quiet voice. It shook him from his thoughts as he set down the papers he had been looking at. The dim yellow light of the briefing room made his already perpetually tired face look absolutely exhausted and sallow. After such a difficult mission, he was likely ready to drop where he stood, but here he was, still moving forward as long as there was work to be done. That was admirable, and one of the reasons she now held a great respect for him.

“Fade? Do you need something? Thanks for the help on logging all of this, by the way. I appreciate it.” Brimstone replied, attempting a smile that, if it was genuine, would’ve crinkled the corners of his eyes and showed off his laugh lines. He couldn’t quite manage it as well as he probably thought he did, but Fade, who could still feel hints of fear clinging to him, did not mind. 

She would not have minded either way. Even his basic amiability is far more than I have usually received from superiors in the past, and far more than I deserve. 

“ Hayır, no, I do not need anything. I simply wanted to say that if these files require any follow-up in the next day or so, please patch it through to me. I will take care of it.” Fade requested, her blue-brown eyes searching his dark ones. The dreamseer had noticed during her time with the Protocol that Brimstone appreciated eye contact. 

“Really?” He looked at her with mild surprise. Most other agents her age liked to avoid paperwork. Fade did not mind it, well-used to it from her time working with REALM. “That… would be a great help, actually. Thank you. You can split the load with Cypher, he had a similar request.”

That did not surprise her. Cypher, too, knew the stakes of the mission and perhaps felt for Killjoy even more than she did. He had quite a fondness for the younger engineer. It was probable that they were currently working towards the same intention, without any communication about it. It was not necessary, Fade presumed, as this was the obvious course of action for both of them.

With that out of the way, Fade said her goodbyes and left for her room. She had items to gather. A camera in the corner of the room followed her path out. 

***

To most anyone entering Fade’s room, they would likely call it a mess. To Fade, it was chaos, yes, but organized chaos. Just how she preferred it.

They would also call it rather dark, despite the lighting options available to agents. But, well, Fade had migraines often enough that it was better to just leave the lights as low as possible or turned off entirely. Besides, she had candles, the light of the flame was much softer and more favorable.

Fade did realize that the lighting and her tendency to burn incense played into her “witchy” aesthetic, as Jett often put it. She had been dealing with her issues in this way for so long that at this point, she was just used to the aesthetic and took the playful ribbing that came along with it. The Nightmare also quite liked the darkness, being the easiest state in which to hunt, so that was an added benefit.

Unfortunately, the combined organized chaos (mess) and darkness did make it a bit difficult to find things quickly, even if she was used to it. As such, it took about a minute longer than she had liked to locate her collection of incense and oils that she had built up over her time in Valorant. She often had some flown in as part of the outside supply requests that were allotted to each agent. It had taken her months before she felt comfortable enough to make use of her own allotment, but once she did, many Turkish items found their home in the protocol along with her. 

Hmm… White sage or harmal seeds? Both could be of use here, Fade debated as she held both of them up, internally comparing the different properties. White sage was good for clearing negative energy and spiritual relaxation, and harmal was burned for protection from the evil eye, nightmares, and repelling bad energy. She could honestly use either.

The deciding factor for Fade was the fact that the bundles of white sage incense had a pungent scent, while incense of harmal seeds had a more earthy scent. Though she was accustomed to the pungency of white sage, often burning it during her sessions of applying henna, her fellow agents were probably not. Harmal it is, then.

Fade put the white sage away and set the harmal down on her desk. Comfort was necessary for this, so she changed into a ratty but comfortable (words that could probably describe most of her casual clothes) gray t-shirt and searched through her hoodie collection. Finding one of her lighter and softer pieces, she pulled it over her head. After a moment’s thought, she grabbed a second one to bring with her. Just in case. 

After one quick once-over of the area to check if there was anything else she should bring from her room, Fade was ready to leave. She placed the packet of harmal seeds and an incense bowl in her hoodie pocket and set off in the direction of the base’s main common room.

***

The main common room was quite conveniently attached to a kitchen area with an open floor plan. The entire area was likely designed with camaraderie in mind. Fade could see Brimstone doing that. Nobody else was there yet, though she did not expect anyone anyway. Fade had made sure to get a headstart to begin setting up.

It was an unofficial tradition to gather in the common room after a difficult mission, especially one that required a revival. Nobody wanted to be alone in an enclosed room after a revival- Fade had learned that lesson after her first revival. Her room had turned into an echo chamber with her darkest thoughts, the coldness of death refusing to leave her bones no matter how much she bundled up.

She was very lucky that Sage had the presence of mind to come check on her a couple of hours in, because Fade would not have been able to rescue herself from that dark pit alone. The Nightmare thrived on that kind of despair, after all. She may be It’s seer, but that did not spare her from It’s wrath. It was only after Sage coaxed her along to the common room with promises of coffee and her signature congee that warmth began to seep back into her, both literally and figuratively. That woman is a blessing for the Protocol, I really should talk to her later…

Fade now made it a point to carry on that kindness when she was able to. She did not know how to make congee, nor was she the most proficient cook (that title belonged to Jett), but she had enough dishes from her home country under her belt to get by. 

First order of business, though, was to get the incense going. Retrieving the bowl and packet from her pocket, she placed them down on a corner of the kitchen counter, on the farther end from the main sitting area with the couches. It wouldn’t do for the light smoke to be too close to people. Lighting it was no issue, she still kept a lighter on her person out of habit from when she used to smoke cigarettes. She had quit smoking for the most part some time ago, but in Fade’s opinion, keeping a lighter was simply useful. 

That done, Fade leaned against the kitchen counter to figure out what to do next. Her initial idea had been to cook something, but she was not well-versed in comfort food. Before him, she did not have anyone to make it for, nor were there many people who would cook for her. And after, well… there was no longer any point, she had thought at the time. 

But she was no longer operating alone. She had the Protocol to think about now. She needed to let go of that mindset in order to best move forward, and that meant figuring out what exactly to make. She would not be lacking in ingredients, the latest grocery run had been recent, and considering the sheer variety of cultures that pervaded the Protocol, they always had abundant spices lying around. 

It didn’t matter how many ingredients she had if she didn’t know what to make. It is my own fault for not being present enough to know food preferences and dietary restrictions, Fade thought, admonishing herself. I will have to rectify that in the future, but what to do now…

She was interrupted from her thoughts by a buzzing in her pocket. Her Valorant-provided phone that she always kept on silent, much to the dismay of Brimstone. The only notifications that would make noise were emergency alerts. 

Cypher 🧑‍🦲📷📸

A little birdie told me that Killjoy quite likes a good Turkish lahmacun ;)

Fade looked up at the common room camera and waved, bemused. Of course Cypher was watching her and knew what she was trying to do, he was always watching. At least it was helpful in this instance. 

Those emojis still throw me off, I still don’t understand why I couldn’t just leave it as it was. She had not added the little emojis to the contact herself, she had originally kept her contact list professional as always with all the agents’ codenames. 

Then Neon had gotten hold of her phone when adding in her own contact information, decided that her professionalism was “too boring”, and changed everyone. Jett became “Jett ⬜️🏃‍♀️💨”, Sage became “Sage 🕊️🧊😇”, and so on. She had saved herself as “Neon 💙💛⚡️”. After she was satisfied, she handed the phone back quickly, gave no more explanation, and sped away, leaving Fade staring at her disappearing footsteps in confusion. Fade dreaded to think what a mess Neon’s own contact list looked like, she had learned from Jett that this was “tame” in comparison after questioning her thoroughly about this. 

Cypher, of course, knew of all this and was very indignant over what he had been saved as. He insisted he wasn’t bald, going so far as to say that his hair was “glorious” and “more magnificent than Breach’s”. In his own words. 

He had argued this very publicly. 

In the middle of a mission. Fade did not even know how it came up at that exact inconvenient time.

He had subsequently been shot by the enemy and needed healing. 

No one believed him. All the younger agents were convinced he was bald and would not let it go. Even Fade, who could call herself his friend at this point, was skeptical about the existence of hair on his head. 

Suffice it to say, the emojis remained. 

Fade didn’t know why she hadn’t just changed them all back herself by now. 

Or maybe she did.

But that was beside the point. She had lahmacun to make. Teşekkür ederim [thank you], Cypher, you beautiful bald man. 

As if hearing her thoughts, the camera in the corner nodded side to side aggressively. 

Fade was sure it was just a coincidence. She ignored it and carried on gathering ingredients, unbothered. 

***

She had finished mixing the flatbread dough and was just about to start kneading it when her first visitor showed up. 

Light footsteps trickled in from the hallway, out of her sight. The fear-shame emanating from the person was less intense, but still present. 

Sage. This is good, now I don’t need to seek her out.

Sage must have wandered too close to the incense because she coughed suddenly. Whoops, should’ve placed it somewhere else. Fade dusted the flour off her hands and began to turn around to face her. 

“Fade, is that you?” Sage called out. She hadn’t seen Fade clearly yet, but likely already knew it was her. She still asked, though, probably to confirm and so Fade wasn’t startled by her presence. Sage was conscious like that. 

“ Evet [yes], it’s me. Selam, Sage, I am happy you’ve come by. I was going to seek you out later.” Fade replied, finally setting her eyes on Sage. She put her hands on the counter behind her, heedless of the flour. She would clean it all later anyway. 

Sage was in the kitchen proper now. She was wearing a full hoodie and sweatpants, purple in color, having changed out of her battle outfit. Casual Sage was not one that was spotted often in the protocol. 

It was also unusual that she had the hood over her head. Fade had noticed in the past that Sage liked to be covered up, barely letting any skin be seen, but she usually kept her face open and clearly visible. Fade was pretty sure that was for assuring patients and keeping them calm. It was easier to trust someone you could see. She had a lot of experience with doing the exact opposite, so she was quite familiar with the concept, in a roundabout way.

Hmm. It likely has to do with what she was hiding earlier. This is more delicate than I thought…  

“Oh, did you need help with something? I was just going to check in with whoever was using the kitchen as I passed by, but I can spare a few minutes.” Sage asked, coming closer to Fade. Fade could see her soulful brown eyes now, but the rest of her face was a bit shadowed, her expression slightly pinched. She could also see a bit of what looked like Sage’s radiance peeking out of her collar. The crystals, not the healing effects. 

That was probably what she had been covering up before, Fade surmised. It was making Sage uncomfortable, there was a bit of pain tied into the fear and shame there.

It only took a second for Fade to understand. She wasn’t unfamiliar with the adverse effects radiance could have, after all. Her radiance marks were clearly visible for everyone to see. They still ached every now and then. The Nightmare wouldn’t let her forget It was there. 

So Sage had her own radiance marks, consequences to her power that she liked to keep hidden and would rather ignore. Just as Fade had accused her of in her dossier. Presenting herself to everyone as the unflappable bastion of a healer, but hiding the pain and a darker side underneath. 

It…

It didn’t change Fade’s current view of her at all, except perhaps in raising her even higher in Fade’s regard. Despite being clearly on her way somewhere, uncomfortable and in pain, she still stopped to check in on the agent she just happened to pass by. She didn’t have to do that, nor did she have to offer her help on top of that. She didn’t even know what Fade was seeking her out for, but put herself out there without a moment's thought for her own discomfort anyway.  

It was just like Sage to put aside her own needs to help someone else. Sage shouldered so much, she deserved to have people worry about her too. Fade did not need her help, what she wanted was to help her, so perhaps…

“Could you help me knead this dough? There’s a lot, and I want to get it ready before the others get here,” Fade requested softly. Sage looked down at the dough and flour spread across the counter, zeroing in on Fade’s flour-covered hands and hiked-up sleeves. She then looked Fade in the eyes, searchingly, as if measuring something. Fade calmly stared back, trying her best to project a welcoming aura. 

A few seconds passed before Sage seemingly made her decision and replied, “Ah, yes, I can do that. Let me just roll up my sleeves a bit and I will join you.”

Sage definitely knew Fade didn’t actually need help with the dough. She had said there was a lot, but it really was not that much. But Sage looked like she needed this, to work with her hands to help create something like Fade did. Sage was most in her element when busy at work helping others. In all the time Fade had known her, she could always find Sage working or being helpful in some way, even in her free time. Maybe this could help put her at ease. 

Kneading dough, in Fade’s experience, was quite therapeutic. It was something about the squishiness of the dough, the warmth of it, the way working at it made it soft and pillowy. The knowledge that something delicious and comforting would come of it, and that it was her hands that made it happen. If it could also help shake some tension loose in Sage the way it did in Fade, then all the better. 

Fade portioned the rough dough into halves and set one aside to her left. She dusted the surface with more flour and began working on her own half while Sage washed her hands and prepped herself. She waited in silence, kneading the dough back and forth slowly. 

She felt Sage move to her side about a minute later. Fade’s gaze was directed down towards the dough, so while she didn’t see Sage’s face, she did see Sage’s hands when she moved to work the dough. 

And her arms. 

Ah. That must be why she was thinking so much before she agreed. 

Scattered across her arms were bits of jade crystal, rough and glinting in the light. That explained why Sage so often wore long sleeves during battle. 

Fade guessed that this must be an issue for Sage after she had exerted herself, the same way Fade’s own marks ached after a particularly intense use of the Nightmare. They must dissipate after a while, because Fade had seen Sage with short sleeves while training before. But the marks still existed, for however long, and Fade knew how much that could hurt. As if their own bodies were punishing them for daring to be more. 

Being a Radiant was not easy.

For whatever reason, Sage was trusting Fade enough to let her see the proof of her flaws and the marks of her shame. Considering her past, Fade did not deserve that trust, but she would not squander it.  

They kneaded together in silence for a couple of minutes before Fade decided to just go for it. There was no point in beating around the bush. They both knew Fade had seen what Sage was hiding. 

“I was going to seek you out because you seemed off after that revival, Sage. You know I can feel it. Then you missed the meeting, which you usually attend without fail. I was worried.” Fade opened the conversation bluntly, speaking in her usual matter-of-fact tone with a measured pace. There was no need to cause Sage to panic by being overly emotional like she had been earlier. “It seems I was right to be,” she remarked. 

Sage’s breath hitched for a moment, but she did not respond. Perhaps she was caught off guard that Fade would forgo all formalities and simply speak directly. 

Fade made the decision to prod further. 

“Are revivals always that hard on you? I’m guessing that the radiance marks are not new.”

Still no response, save for a flinch when Fade mentioned the marks. Sage continued kneading, putting more force into it. Her pain began to outweigh her shame and fear. 

One last push…

“Sage. You know that I, of all people, will not pass judgement on you for this. My radiance is dark and ugly for everyone to see. That is why you chose to roll up your sleeves, correct? Speak your mind, Lingying. You do not have to be alone in this.” That should do it, hopefully. 

A moment. 

Then—

“What do you want me to say, Hazal? That Omen was right, that you were right? That there is a toll, that the balance is so precarious, I fear it will collapse any time I make a move, but I must move forward anyway? That it hurts, that these marks mean I have not done well enough? But I cannot just let anyone know that. I am the second-in-command, the healer. Everyone relies on me. I should not need help. I cannot be weak. I should not even be telling you this, but you seem to have seen right through me without a word on my part anyway.” Sage finally burst out, not aggressive but still forceful, the words leaving her mouth as if they were on fire and would burn her tongue if they were not released. The dough was feeling the wrath she refused to expose Fade to.  

The dam Fade had struck down held back a lot more than she thought, it seemed.

No matter. She had quite literally asked for this. There was a lot to unpack there, so Fade focused on what she actually knew. 

It was hitting her now that she had done this. This was partly her fault, her dossier had helped plant that seed of shame in Sage. She couldn’t help but hate her past self and her stupid desperation. Her kneading slowed down, and she straightened her back. She blinked back the frustration at herself building in her eyes and made sure to look at Sage. She needed to make sure she got both her regret and her point across.

It was now her responsibility to do whatever she could to repair the tears she had made in the identities of these people who wanted nothing more than to help the world, especially Sage.

She waited until Sage had noticed her movement and mirrored her, her gaze flickering to Fade’s face and then back down to the dough.

“I wasn’t right, Lingying, I was cruel, and I’m sorry for that. I was speaking of things I did not truly understand, just trying to make you hurt the way I did. Omen does not hold his remarks against you either, do you know that? He is concerned for you as I am, and that is the way he knows how to express it. I think you know this too, deep down. But it’s easier to hold onto the pain than it is to reach out for help, isn’t it?” She lightly started kneading again, but kept her attention on Sage. Fade had been where Sage was many times before, and likely would again in the future. She was self-aware enough to know that mental health was not a linear process. 

It wasn’t easy to carry out rational thought while stuck in a spiral; the healthy way to deal with things fell to the wayside. It was a process Fade cycled through more often than she liked. When she had entered the protocol, desperate and alone, she was at a point where she did not think she would be able to pull herself out of the cycle. 

Sage was the one who reached out when Fade was drowning in the Protocol, when she was at her worst low following her first revival, so returning the favor was barely a consideration. 

Sage stayed quiet again. Fade could feel her gaze drilling a hole into the side of Fade’s face, tracing the radiance mark that slashed across it. Fade kept on kneading. She continued more gently than before but no less sure, “You said you shouldn’t need help, that you can’t be weak. Letting others shoulder your burden doesn’t make you weak, Sage. Even if it did, nobody can be strong alone all the time. We need each other.” Fade inhaled a deep breath, knowing what came next would be difficult. She pressed onward anyway. “That is hard to believe, isn’t it? Especially when it comes to yourself, specifically. I know. I find it hard to believe too, but you’re the one who made sure I learned that lesson when I came to the protocol. I would have wasted away alone in my room. I know that, and I never thanked you for it, but I never forgot either. You taught me that I do not have to suffer alone, at a time when I felt no one would care and that it did not matter. I think heeding your own lesson would do you some good, Lingying.” Her voice raised a bit near the end, her even tone breaking. Fade did not like exposing herself like this, but she felt it would help Sage to hear it. 

Fade was not the best when it came to caring for herself; she knew that. But she did know people. Her radiance saw to that, though it didn’t come easy. She had to put in the effort. And while she wasn’t as experienced in building people up as she was in breaking them down, she knew enough. 

So she knew people like Sage sometimes felt like they needed permission to let themselves go. To admit to what they perceived as weakness. She hoped her words were permission enough for Sage.

She let the silence remain for a bit, allowing Sage to digest what she had said. It was a lot for Fade when Sage had done this for her, so she would allow Sage the same courtesy. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sage begin to knead again tentatively, turning her face away from Fade back towards the dough she was working on. 

“I… I’m tired, Hazal.” A sniffle. 

“I know.”

“I’m so tired. ” A lone tear found its way to the floor by the counter. 

“I know.” 

And Fade did know, was the thing. Her power wasn’t something she could turn off. There had been exhaustion tied to Sage’s fear in the background every time she had been around her, and this was the first time she had actually done something about it. 

It seemed that something about feeling the away team return, so desperate and full of grief she felt as if it were her own, had knocked something loose in Fade in response. She was usually never this forthcoming. 

But she had been a bystander, someone simply going through the motions for too long. It was about time she stepped up and took accountability, fulfilling her duty towards the people in the Protocol, more than its mission. 

Sage continued to cry slowly and silently beside her. Fade still did not look her way, ardently keeping her focus on the dough in front of her. Talking was something she could do, but watching Sage cry was too uncomfortable. She couldn’t look at her right now, knowing she played a part in that devastation, however big or small it may have been. Besides, she felt Sage would appreciate the illusion of privacy. 

She didn’t think Sage would be able to say more at this time, so she spoke up again instead. “I have said what I set out to say. You don’t have to talk to me about it. But you do need to talk to someone.” Fade uttered quietly, closing out what felt like a long speech, when in reality it had only been a few minutes. 

Sage simply hummed in response. That was fine. Fade knew that Sage had heard her because her emotions were stabilizing a bit. Thank god, I was not sure I would be able to make this work.  

“The dough is about done, we have been kneading for 15 minutes now. Thank you for the help, Sage.” The dough really was close to done. It was almost in a soft, elastic state. Fade could do the rest on her own. Sage needed the out she was blatantly providing her with. 

“Alright, I am glad to have been of assistance.” For someone who was crying just moments ago, Sage’s voice was remarkably steady. She handed her half of the dough over to Fade and shook the flour off her hands. She washed her hands in silence and made her way to leave, curiously turning in the same direction she had come from. Perhaps she had changed her mind about her destination. 

Before she left, Fade heard one more thing. 

“Thank you, Hazal,” Sage whispered, barely loud enough to be heard. Fade had to strain her ears to hear it. 

“Thank you, Lingying, for everything.” Fade replied, just as softly. She smiled to herself slightly. She had been meaning to say that for a while now and just hadn’t found the right time. This was good for Fade as well. It felt as if some of the weight she had been carrying since she joined the Protocol had lessened.

Fade saw the back of Sage’s purple hood nod in response, and then she was gone. 

She allowed herself a moment to recover from that conversation. But just a moment, because the dough wouldn’t wait for long, so she kneaded it until she was satisfied with its elasticity and set it aside for proofing. 

Now, where are the smaller measurement tools? I need to get started with the meat mixture… 

Fade bustled around the kitchen, continuing on her mission for tonight. She had thirty minutes to complete the mixture while the dough proofed, so she needed to hurry. More people would start showing up soon. 

As she worked, she idly hummed a half-remembered and half-dreamt Turkish lullaby to herself, barely even conscious of it. The camera in the corner continued to blink.

Chapter Text

Fade had just placed the first lahmacun in the oven when her second guest, so to speak, entered the room. A crackle of lightning sounded as Neon slowed down near one of the couches. Neon quite liked using her radiance to speed around the base whenever she was given the opportunity. Fade could faintly hear tinny music coming from the over-ear headphones the girl was wearing. She must have been playing it pretty loudly if Fade was able to vaguely hear it. It didn’t surprise her that Neon was the type of person to play her music at max volume.

The girl was wearing her typical athleisure-style clothing, more bronze skin on display than earlier when she had her thin jacket. Her ever-present surge protector was whirring lightly as she plopped down on the couch, likely from the recent use of her power. 

Neon didn’t appear to have noticed Fade’s presence in the attached kitchen area, probably because of the loud music as she hummed to herself. Fade couldn’t make out the words, but it sounded like maybe an R&B or pop song. Probably Ylona Garcia, Fade knew Neon was a big fan of the Filipino artist. Fade smiled to herself slightly, reminded of when Neon had begged her to exchange playlists. Their tastes were very different, with much of Fade’s playlists consisting of electronic and rock music, but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless. In hindsight, that is, Fade had been nervous about it at the time. She didn’t know why. Maybe she had felt like Neon would judge her music taste or something.

Fade glanced back at the oven to check how much time she had before she needed to take out this lahmacun and put in the next. She had about five more minutes, it was better to give the first one a bit of grace time since this was an unfamiliar oven.

That was enough time to go greet Neon and make her aware of Fade’s presence. Fade had vivid memories of startling her and many other agents in the past because she was too quiet and shadowed. It did not help her already shady reputation. She should start being proactive about it, at least among her peers, where she did not need to keep her intimidation factor.

Not wanting to waste any time, Fade approached the couch where Neon was. The girl had truly sunk into the couch cushions at this point, eyes closed as she nodded along to her music.

She looks cozy…

Stepping along the back of the couch, Fade tapped on the lightning radiant’s shoulder lightly.

That was probably the wrong move.

The girl jumped up in her seat, eyes flying wide open as she let out a short-lived shriek. Whoops.

Fade chuckled in amusement as she brought her hand back away from the girl. She probably should not find amusement in her failed attempt at being proactive, but Neon just looked adorable— funny. Funny, not adorable, like this, with her hair standing on end as if she had used her power on herself.

Actually. There were definitely some sparks of lightning arching between her yellow-blue pigtails. Fade had apparently really startled her into her power spiking. Double whoops.

Neon ripped her headphones off and spun around, looking up and catching sight of Fade’s still smirking form. 

“FADE! You scared the shit out of me, you— you smug asshole!” she whined loudly, red in the face.

“Sorry, sorry, I was actually trying not to startle you. I saw you come in and realized you didn’t notice me in the kitchen, so I came over to say hi… It is not my fault that you had your music so loud. Don’t go crying to Sage when it deafens you.” Fade replied laughingly. Neon looks even more caught off guard upon witnessing her laughter. Is it really so shocking? I suppose I don’t laugh much in front of others…

Still flushed red, looking like an indignant deer in headlights, Neon stammered back, “H- hey! Don’t think I haven’t heard your noisy rock music before, we share a wall! You’re not worried about volume when it comes to that, huh?”

Huh.

Her previous levity drained out of her body.

She did not know that the music she played in her room could be heard. Brimstone had told her the rooms had a noise dampening effect. 

But she should have realized. Just another thing she had to make up for.

“I… Did not actually know you could hear that. Knock on my door next time if it is disturbing you.” Fade replied, looking away. 

“Why don’t you use headphones like I do? Don’t tell me you don’t have headphones, Fade, I’ve seen your setup.” Neon accused, turning around to sit backwards on the couch and so that she faced towards Fade. 

“I can, it’s just…”

This was not something she liked to talk about. Or think about. But it was inconveniencing Neon, which she could not have. She had already hurt Neon enough.

“Just?” 

The lightning girl leaned in further, now curious.

“The Nightmare— my radiance, It haunts me. There are times where it feels as though It gets too loud. The music… it is louder.” The Nightmare exacted a demanding price, the toll It took on her mind was not something that could be easily ignored. It was impossible to drown It out with her own thoughts without also feeling like she was drowning herself—flailing, crashing about, unable to breathe, falling further and further beneath the surface—in the process. 

She had tried music with headphones before, but that ended up making her worse because it wasn’t as if the Nightmare was something on the outside speaking to her— no, It whispered inside her mind and made Itself at home there, at times crowding Fade’s self out. Wearing headphones in that state made her feel like she was trapped inside with It. 

But with a loud enough speaker, she could let the music mindlessly push noise out of her head until she could hear neither herself nor the Nightmare. 

Fade didn’t know how to explain all of that without looking absolutely insane to Neon, so she hoped the paltry explanation would be enough.

Neon blinked at her, taking in Fade’s words. She raked her eyes across Fade’s now somewhat closed off posture, and her expression softened.

Then she vaulted over the back of the couch to land right next to Fade, startling her with the sudden movement. She rocked on the tip of her toes, beginning to reach out before pulling back at the last second with a hesitant look at her face. A tendril of fear leaked out of her, intensifying Fade’s feeling of guilt. It curdled in her stomach, twisting up her insides. 

She wasn’t sure why this, out of everything, was affecting her so intensely. It’s not as if she hadn’t felt (deserved) fear directed at her from her coworkers before.  

Instead, Neon brought that hand up to scratch lightly at her face near the metal plate across her nose. She shifted on her feet, brown eyes looking off to the side, appearing to lose some of the confident energy she had vaulted with.

She opened her mouth, pink lips catching Fade’s attention, and said, “You could… You know, knock on my door when that happens. If you want, I mean. I wouldn’t mind.”

The girl lightly scuffed the floor with her running shoes, shyly shifting around as she waited for Fade to respond. She was looking at the dreamseer now, gaze earnest and mutedly eager. As if she understood what Fade wasn’t able to say. Perhaps she did, Neon was a lot more intuitive than most people expected of her. Not Fade, Fade knew the intelligence behind those pretty brown eyes from her research, but somehow others still underestimated her just because of her age. Being the youngest Valorant agent did nothing to diminish Neon’s capabilities, though.

Fade uncrossed her arms, blue-brown eyes opening a little wider in surprise. She did not know how to respond to this. She did not expect anyone other than Sage to make an offer like that, certainly not Neon, despite their sort-of friendship. Not even Cypher or Omen would ever do so outright, they usually just sort of showed up and quietly shared space with her. Never to their rooms like Neon was saying, but in common areas. 

To be fair, she wasn’t even sure Cypher or Omen even had rooms—she wasn’t convinced Cypher didn’t just stay in his surveillance office all the time and nobody could ever be sure of what Omen did when not visible to the rest of them. But Neon’s sentiment remained.

“I—”

As it turned out, Fade didn’t have to think of a proper response after all, not that she knew what she was going to say when she began talking anyway. The sound of the timer near the oven split the air, interrupting her talk with Neon. It startled both of them, even Fade, who was the one who had set the timer in the first place.

Bok [shit], the lahmacun! I can’t let it burn, fuck—

Fade hurriedly rushed back over to the kitchen, making for the oven and grabbing some kitchen towels along the way. Was it bad that she was a little relieved the interruption meant she didn’t have to answer? Probably. 

She just didn’t know what to do with Neon’s doe-eyed earnestness. It was… it made her feel frozen in place. She was already weighted from the heavy conversation with Sage just a little over half an hour ago.

The day was proving to be… A lot. But she had to push through with the task she set for herself anyway, she owed them all that. 

Neon followed her to the oven, headphones around her neck. 

“What’s this?” she asked, quietly leaving her previous line of questioning behind and moving to stand right of the oven. 

“I was waiting for this to finish when you came in, I forgot about the timer. It is lahmacun, a flatbread with meat toppings.” Fade replied as she lifted the thin tray out of the heat and shifted the flatbread onto the wire rack set on the counter left of the oven. She left the oven on since she still needed it, but closed the door to keep the heat in.

Fade lifted the edge of it with a nail to check on the bottom. It didn’t look undercooked, and the edges were browned. She let it drop back onto the rack. 

She kept it in for the right amount of time, then. That meant she could go ahead and bake the rest of them, maybe more than one at a time just to get it done faster.

“It smells really good, Fade. Family recipe?” Neon questioned as she moved closer to Fade. To get a good look at the lahmacun, of course. Her hip brushed against Fade’s, who quickly stepped back with the excuse of bustling around to get the next batch of lahmacun in the oven.

“No.” 

She did not elaborate. Fade did not have any family recipes. Was that too short of me, though? Fuck…

Neon did not appear to mind, because she let it be and didn’t press as she watched Fade open the oven again to get the next few flatbreads cooking. The scent of fresh bread was beginning to fill the space, homey and comforting. It reminded Fade of times before, with him… No, this is the here and now. I need to focus on the present.

She decided to try and make up for her shortness by speaking up again after the next batch was set. “Would you like to try it? This was the test piece, since I’m unfamiliar with this oven.”

“Of course I would, have I ever turned down free food before? But you have to try it with me, you deserve to enjoy your hard work.” Neon said eagerly, her eyes glimmering with anticipation. 

Fade saw no reason not to comply. She picked up the flatbread bare-handed and tore it in half carefully, not flinching at the slight burn from the still piping-hot food. She shook the heat off and grabbed a nearby plate for Neon before handing it over to her. 

It tore well and the toppings stayed on. Slightly visible steam rose from it. Promising.

She took a bite, chewing slowly. It had just the right amount of crunch. The spice seemed alright, it was easy to eat and it was satisfying. It would serve its purpose. 

“Hot, hot, hot!” Fade suddenly heard from Neon. She looked over at her companion to see her dropping it back onto the plate with a bite taken out of it, mouth open and fanning it with her hand. Oh. I should have warned her.

“What the fuck, Fade, how are you not reacting? It’s burning hot!” Neon cried out after she swallowed the bite down.

“I… Don’t know?” 

She did know. Sensation in her mouth had long since dampened from drinking boiling hot coffee all the time. No need to say that, though.

Fade watched as Neon’s face slowly reddened, and then the girl rushed over to grab a bottle of ice water from the fridge and gulp down a third of it.

Panting, she wiped the water from her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“Whew, okay, I’m going to cool this down a bit before eating more,” the lightning radiant said, beginning to blow at it.

The shape of her lips was very distracting.

Fade ripped her eyes away to focus on her own half, taking another bite and staying quiet. 

This went on for about a minute before Neon was ready to try again. Taking another bite, her jaw moved slowly as she savored it this time. The redness of her face did not diminish.

“Okay, that’s really good,” Neon determined, “but wow, how much pepper did you put in this? It’s spicy.” She blew more air out of her mouth, tongue lolling out before she took another sip of water. 

Spicy? It’s not supposed to be that spicy, Fade thought to herself, looking back at the tools she used to make this. She thought back to the recipe, and then remembered, oh.

She had added extra paprika and red pepper flakes out of habit. He always liked it spicy, she had gotten used to it and barely felt the burn. 

“Sorry,” Fade uttered quietly, her expression falling, “is it… Should I scrap it?”

“What? No!” Neon blurted out, putting her plate down and straightening out her posture in concern. She paused to finish the food in her mouth and then continued, “It’s still good, like I said! It just has a kick to it. You, um, you made this for Killjoy and Raze, right? I’m guessing, at least. It’ll be fine, I’ve seen Raze chug down hot sauce with no reaction before and I know Killjoy matches her spice level. It’s insane, honestly, I’ve never seen someone that determined to literally breathe fire, and Killjoy’s too stubborn to not try and keep up with her, but anyway, there’s no need to scrap it, they’ll appreciate it, trust me, I was just making a comment!”

Fade blinked at her.

Neon blinked back. 

Her face was a tomato at this point. It was hard to tell how much of the flustered red was from the spice and how much was just her blushing at the word vomit she just spewed out in a rush. Fade could not decipher the mix of emotions emanating from her. 

Neon coughed into her hand and glanced away. “Just. Um. It’s great, ignore me.”

Fade snorted, she couldn’t help it. That spiel chased the encroaching dark mood right out of her. Neon was always so… Refreshing. 

“Well, if you say so,” she chuckled, taking great amusement from how flushed Neon’s face was. The girl unsubtly turned away to take another sip of water. They finished the rest of the lahmacun in silence, and when the timer went off again to signal the second batch was done, Neon quietly helped Fade with baking the rest. She didn’t say anything else for quite some time, embarrassed-fear radiating off the poor girl. 

When Fade caught another glimpse of her face, the girl had a small smile, oddly enough, in spite of the embarrassment. The lighthearted mood she had inadvertently created hung around, as warm and comforting as the scent of the incense and the aroma of the oven-fresh meal.

***