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In all honesty, Guilherme had known about the existence of this Swiss city just because of Eurovision. And of course he didn’t have any idea that it had a river.
Basel was foreign for him. That’s why it was safe.
He wouldn’t even suppose he’d ever walk between those ancient buildings. But here he was, sitting on the concrete steps next to his mate from the gloomy Baltic and eating an ice cream near the Rhine.
Here he was, with surprisingly good ice cream and an amusing desire to touch Lukas’ shoulder.
The evening was fresh and slightly windy. Lukas’ hair kept falling in his eyes making him reach out to pull them away almost every minute. Guilherme’s gaze flicked to his mouth occasionally, while Lukas just kept his slightly broken talk, staring either at a someone’s cute dog in the distance or the glowing surface of the river. The lights of the street lanterns glowed on it charmingly and reflected on his skin, softly highlighted the lines of his face. The sky was clear and dark, hundreds of stars twinkling on its distant darkness. Guilherme would find some constellations that he promised to Lukas but still had a bit of poor eyesight even though he’d really googled some of them earlier.
So, it was their first sober walk, and Guilherme even joked calling it ‘The date’. Lukas chuckled in response. But the truth hid in the fact that Guilherme didn’t want it to be a joke. Not now as they were enjoying the calmness of the city at night together, and as Lukas knew that wasn’t a joke obviously.
They had a takeaway dinner from McDonald’s after a busy day at the beach on this street. Perfect. Everything Guilherme ever wanted.
McDonald’s couldn’t be a joke, never.
Guilherme kept glancing at Lukas even when he tried not to. He couldn’t deny that Lukas was more interesting than the Rhine and Basel in general, and maybe there was something wrong with it. Guilherme liked the city and its serenity on the first day here but there was someone he liked more. And that didn’t matter how many days they spent together, one party was quite enough to fall in l… Lukas. That’s it.
At some point of their lazy conversation Guilherme found that Lukas glanced at him, making him feel his face flush. Probably it wasn’t so noticeable in the dim light, though. Guilherme just hoped Lukas didn’t feel so weird about it. Judging by the little smile forming on his lips, everything was fine.
Actually Lukas had finished his short story about his town, without complaints about the economy this time, and they both just kept silence. Guilherme wondered that he’d like to visit it with him. Economy troubles couldn’t scare him. Like Lukas said, it wasn’t delightful like, however, other Lithuanian cities, but it was his home after all. Maybe Guilherme shouldn’t read so much into that word, not for everyone it meant something important like for him. But he loved to find hidden senses.
He’d googled something else, too. Lukas’ city.
At first, Guilherme watched the streets in maps, and only after that he’d learnt about the distance between Lithuania and Portugal. Then - between Lithuania and Madeira. He knew that the result wouldn’t be exciting for him. That’s why he couldn’t manage to find information early, and maybe it would be better to stay in ignorance. Wouldn’t it, actually? There was only this contest, Basel and some inches between their thighs.
And - still - that was almost enough to feel on cloud nine.
However, Guilherme had never thought that keeping silence with someone could be so pleasant. It didn’t feel empty, like in moments when he tried to fill the silence out with questions or offers, just to make it easier. This silence was another, and he wanted to continue keeping it with Lukas.
Guilherme genuinely liked it so much. Maybe more than making fun.
Because small talk didn’t work with Lukas. There was nothing to work with him like with others.
The silence really fit him. It was like his original state, the habitat of him. His deep glances and curves of his lips could talk more than any word. And that was everything Guilherme needed.
He didn’t want to ruin the calmness between them. Or mostly he was scared to do something wrong. Sometimes Lukas seemed to him too gentle and fragile for this world, so he didn’t want to mess it up. Lukas had made him at least overthink already, and that hadn’t ever been Guilherme’s drill. But it’s not that he was against that all, not in this case. Definitely not.
To be honest, Guilherme desperately wanted to lean closer anyway. Lukas’ hand curled on his knee he’d pulled to himself and put his chin on it, like he was in his thoughts deeply again. So, Guilherme could just reach his hand out to him, for a little, and…
It would be just a little touch, just to feel Lukas’ warmth for a second. Guilherme knew Lukas’ hands were cold, though. And that he was often aloof, even as they were talking or sitting next to each other like that. Perhaps, Lukas wasn’t a fan of it, judged on everything that Guilherme had noticed. He himself got used kissing and hugging his friends, while Lukas was… unexpected to him, and he just didn’t want to spoil it all with one inappropriate action.
And well, also there were some stereotypes about unfriendly Baltics on that site. And it’s not that wasn’t completely wrong…
So, whatever. Guilherme just would like to stay in a moment like last night.
And it was still impossible.
He was ready to fold back into himself again, which felt rather weird for him. But a few moments later Lukas broke the silence. “What will you miss more - the contest or the city?”
He was now glancing at Guilherme in anticipation. Guilherme smirked at him mischievously.
“You.”
“Me?” Lukas chuckled softly. His eyes widened as he raised his eyebrows rather ironically.
“Yes,” Guilherme winked. “You and your somber face. I like it more than anything else here.”
“Impossible.”
It wasn’t the right time for confesses despite Lukas obviously didn’t need them from… the very beginning, Guilherme guessed. He wasn’t sure if Lukas perceived it as a confession or just another joke, but judging from his quiet giggle, everything was okay.
“So, and you?” Guilherme continued, tilting his head to his shoulder and smiling slightly. “Let me think, you would miss stars, the guys from Ukraine and that dog you’ve been staring for the last ten minutes?”
“That’s right,” Lukas nodded, leaning a bit closer, about an inch that anyway made Guilherme hold his breath for a moment. “And there’s someone else I will miss,” Lukas replied, barely loudly. “The guy from Madeira. But I don’t know sorry maybe after that dog in the list.”
Guilherme chuckled.
Lukas was still looking at him, sitting a bit closer than a minute ago, and the strands of his bang fell onto his eyes again. Guilherme couldn’t resist his piercing eyes. He looked around and quickly tucked a light strand behind his ear. Even that was enough to memorise the softness of Lukas’ hair.
Now it seemed Lukas hold his breath.
And later, as the night softly covered the city entirely, and they were on their walk back to the hotel, Guilherme did something he wanted during all the evening. There was no one near them, only snatches of their talk, lights on both sides of the street and the air filling with a hint of upcoming summer. And a bit of worries about the Grand Final somewhere in the corners of Guilherme’s mind.
But now that all really meant no more than nothing.
Maybe he hesitated around a half of a second, but eventually he took Lukas’ hand. Not to shake this time.
Lukas fell silent abruptly. His fingers twitched a little but he didn’t pull his hand away.
“Did I-“
“No,” Lukas interrupted confidently, squeezing his fingers a little, making it harder to let go. Guilherme drew a sharp breath unwittingly.
“You just looked a bit… scared?”
“Of what?”
“Uhm… I don’t know. That this isn’t real?”
“I’m scared,” Lukas stopped and looked straight up at him. “That this all is real.”
Guilherme forgot how to breathe for a second. The mix of intensity of his piercing gaze and softness of his hold made him dizzy without a drop of alcohol today. He needed to clear his throat before he asked carefully. “You want this all to be real?”
Lukas’ nod was barely noticeable. “And it scares me.”
Guilherme didn’t know what he could respond. It scared him, too, but the little fear faded without a trace as he was next to Lukas, having the chance to listen to him and look at him.
During all of this time Guilherme had held something in his head, though.
The fact that their time melted quicker than any ice cream. So, he couldn’t be completely sure what he was frightened about in conclusion - their a bit odd contact or the imminent farewell. Probably both, but the former terrified him more because the farewell meant distance, and the distance meant… nothing good.
Guilherme made himself stop a new portion of sudden concerns.
Well, it was always easier to be tipsy.
“I know,” he said finally. “Can we be scared together then?”
“Yeah,” Lukas nodded again and added quietly, “That’s why I play in the band.”
They were still standing there, holding their hands together and smiling at each other maybe like kids. But Guilherme didn’t care as Lukas’ eyes were glowing brighter than any of the street’s lights, and a little smile was crossing his face. For a second Guilherme thought that he wanted to cover that smile with his lips, right there, below the dim light of a lantern… They were probably just as soft as they looked. But it would be too much, too early for now.
Lukas let him touch him, and that already meant for Guilherme a lot.
Lukas’ hand was cold, as always. Maybe he was a vampire, who knew. His smile was warm enough to make up for it, though, so there was nothing to complain about. Well, maybe just impossibility to stay like that forever and necessary to come back.
But honestly, the heat in Guilherme’s rib cage never stopped spreading.
If he had known Basel and more ways better, he would actually lead Lukas down the longest one. All Guilherme could do was just slow their pace a little, though. Lukas noticed, but he didn’t say anything. There was something more than just a quiet night and an empty street. And Lukas’ cold hand was in his.
That didn’t feel like something temporary. But it couldn’t last longer, either.
In the end, Guilherme stood in front of Lukas. Lukas was holding the door open, already a bit drowsy, or perhaps just tired from another long day.
And all of that looked like they couldn’t say ‘Bye’ to each other.
“Thank you. For the date,” Guilherme said finally, chuckling warmly. He didn’t want this moment to end at all. “It was really good. See you tomorrow?”
“Yes. You’re welcome,” Lukas winked. “Good night.”
Guilherme felt the heat spread over his face and his heart started beating quickly as he turned around after Lukas had disappeared in his room. He noticed that a wide, unrestrained smile had appeared on his lips not right away.
His first desire was either to jump like a kid or slide down the wall. But he was still in the hotel corridor.
Wow.
That wasn’t just good. That was incredible.
Everything in Guilherme was blooming and yearning excitedly. He couldn’t believe that all of that was real even though he still felt Lukas’ faded touch on the back of his hand.
Guilherme realised he hadn’t said ‘Good night’ in response as he headed back to his room. Maybe he just didn’t want to say goodbye at all.
So he didn’t.