Work Text:
CHAT: +1 (718) 206 0365, +1 (347) 607 3392, +1 (929) 283 1475, +1 (718) 218 0235, +1 (202) 440 5320, +1 (718) 182 5966
+1 (202) 440 5320: Agents Belova, Walker, and Barnes returning to Avengers Tower today at 1400 after successful covert mission in Germany. Group mission debrief at 1630. Agents currently located at Avengers Tower, answer affirmatively that you are able to be present.
+1 (718) 206 0365: AFFIRMATIVE
+1 (929) 283 1475: yea whatever mel
CHAT: +1 (718) 206 0365
BOB: can’t wait for u guys to get back ava missed you SO much she wouldn’t stop talking about you. And i thought i was down bad for john haha
+1 (718) 206 0365: WHAT
BOB: um just saying i think you shouldn’t give up on the idea that she likes you back yknow?
BOB: also do you still want to watch hereditary tonight or do u want to keep going with the ghibli marathon?
BOB: oh shit wait
+1 (718) 206 0365: LENA LIKES AVA??
BOB: i’m so sorry i did NOT mean to send this to you
+1 (718) 206 0365: MY LITTLE GIRL IS IN LOVE
BOB: oh god PLEASE don’t tell anyone about this
BOB: alexei?
BOB: ALEXEI PLEASE
CHAT: +1 (929) 283 1475
+1 (929) 283 1475: alexei just hugged me and called me his future daughter-in-law did something happen
BOB: um
CHAT: +1 (347) 607 3392
+1 (347) 607 3392: Uh hey Bobby, Yelena just got a phone call and started flipping out, everything good over there?
BOB: UM
CHAT: +1 (718) 206 0365
+1 (718) 206 0365: BOB DO NOT THINK I FORGOT ABOUT YOU AND WALKER I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH TOO. YOU ARE LOVELY COUPLE VERY BRIGHT SOULS!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOB: UMMMM
CHAT: +1 (718) 218 0235
+1 (718) 218 0235: BOB WHAT HAPPENED
BOB: I TEXTED YOUR DAD ON ACCIDENT I’M SO SORRY
BOB: your phone numbers are REALLY similar!!!!!
BOB: also the last thing both of you guys sent me was a tiktok edit of ponyo i mean not the exact same edit but still!
+1 (718) 218 0235: since when does alexei watch PONYO tiktoks
BOB: just recently? i think he’s trying to bond with you
+1 (718) 218 0235: huh
+1 (718) 218 0235: wait okay you said we had similar numbers are you saying you dont have us saved in your contacts
BOB: i’m going to be honest i don’t know how 2 do that
+1 (718) 218 0235: youve never saved a contact???
BOB: i don’t know i just never bothered and i kind of got used to it i’m not great with phone stuff
+1 (718) 218 0235: now may be a good time to figure it out
BOB: YEP i’m gonna do that!!
BOB: are you okay also? with the situation
+1 (718) 218 0235: yeah no im fine
+1 (718) 218 0235: its cool
+1 (718) 218 0235: is it okay if we call about it for a few minutes?
BOB: yeah of course
Call duration - 1:41:37
YELENA: but really im fine with this honestly
BOB: yeah sure yeah
CHAT: JOHN
BOB: she’s still freaking out isn’t she
JOHN: Yeah
BOB: god i feel terrible i’m so stupid
BOB: wait sorry i’m not stupid
BOB: and i’m not sorry
BOB: shit
JOHN: Its okay man but Im kind of worried over here, what happened?
BOB: long story
JOHN: Is it related to why alexei texted me a whole speech an hour ago
BOB: what?
JOHN: Yeah he sent this really long paragraph about how happy he was to see love blooming in the team and how “down bad” my future spouse is, offered to walk me down the aisle, weird stuff like that
JOHN: It was kind of sweet though to be honest
JOHN: Wait does Yelena have feelings for me? Or did he mean someone else
BOB: sorry i gotta deal with something one second
JOHN: She doesnt right. Please say no
JOHN: Bob
CHAT: ALEXEI
BOB: hi alexei so about what i said about yelena + the whole me liking walker thing i really appreciate your enthusiasm for our relationships and im really happy that youre happy for us! but me and yelena aren’t ready to talk to ava or walker about our feelings at this moment so would it be possible if you kept it under wraps for a bit?
ALEXEI: not alexei
ALEXEI: since when do you like walker
BOB: oh god
CHAT: JOHN
JOHN: Just had the worst conversation with Yelena ever but shes definitely not into me
JOHN: Its definitely not Alexei either so
JOHN: Good Lord its not Bucky is it
JOHN: Dude
CHAT: BUCKY (!!!!!), ALEXEI (REAL)
BOB: hey! This is a groupchat right?
BOB: I feel like it’ll be easier to talk about the whole texting thing this way?
ALEXEI (REAL): THUNDERBOLTS BOYS CHAT!!! SHOULD I ADD WALKER?
BUCKY (!!!!!): yes
BOB: NO
John was added to the chat.
JOHN: ??? Jesus whats going on today
ALEXEI (REAL): LENA AND BOB ARE IN LOVE
Chat has been deleted.
CHAT (1): BUCKY (!!!!!), ALEXEI (REAL)
BOB: okayyyyyy let’s try this a second time alexei i was trying to text yelena about private information i did NOT mean for you to find any of that out bucky i accidentally saved your number in my contacts as alexei bc im stupid and i would just appreciate it if both of you could maybe please please not mention this stuff to the people i was talking about?
ALEXEI (REAL): BUT YOU COULD BE SUCH WONDERFUL COUPLE
ALEXEI (REAL): LIKE PONYO AND BOY FROM PONYO
BOB: haha thanks but i really don’t think he feels the same way
BOB: wait am i ponyo or the boy from ponyo
BUCKY (!!!!!): ponyo
ALEXEI (REAL): PONYO
BOB: okay but back to the topic you guys are cool not saying anything about this to walker or ava?
ALEXEI (REAL): OKAY BUT I AM STILL ROOTING FOR YOU
BUCKY (!!!!!): okay
BOB: okay thank you guys :)
BUCKY (!!!!!): ava already knows you like walker though
BOB: ??????????????
BUCKY (!!!!!): we were watching something on my phone when you sent the text she saw the notification
BOB: goddamn it
ALEXEI (REAL): WHAT WERE YOU WATCHING
BUCKY (!!!!!): great british bakeoff
ALEXEI (REAL): LOVE BAKEOFF!!!
BUCKY (!!!!!): great show
ALEXEI (REAL): PAUL HOLLYWOOD
BUCKY (!!!!!): paul hollywood yeah
CHAT: AVA
BOB: heyyyy so. the walker thing
AVA: i wont tell him
BOB: okay thank god thank you
AVA: but i think its kind of shitty though
BOB: hes a good guy
AVA: i know
AVA: i mean its shitty to yelena
BOB: ? how so
AVA: if you have feelings for someone else you should at least tell her
BOB: ? i don’t
BOB: i don’t have feelings for yelena
AVA: arent you dating her
BOB: no?????? ???
BOB: we’re not
BOB: why do you think that
AVA: john told me
AVA: well he asked me if i knew you two were together
AVA: you guys could’ve told us we would’ve been cool about it
BOB: we’re really really not together i’m very single
BOB: so is yelena
BOB: if that information particularly interests you
AVA: why would it interest me
BOB: just in case that’s all
AVA: sure whatever
AVA: youre sure she’s single?
BOB: yep 100% sure
AVA: okay
AVA: wait so then why does walker think youre dating
BOB: shit right that
AVA: you should clear things up he seemed really freaked out
AVA: if that information particularly interests you
BOB: …thanks
AVA: np
CHAT: JOHN
BOB: you know if me and yelena actually were secretly dating it’d be kinda shitty for you to just tell ava like that i feel like i should be offended
JOHN: Youre not dating??
BOB: nope just friends definitely just friends
JOHN: Oh
JOHN: But Alexei said
JOHN: I thought
JOHN: Look if you guys are worried that we won’t be supportive I promise I think it’s cool I mean Yelena’s great youre really great she’s a lucky girl
JOHN: Not that Yelena isnt also really great youre both really great Im sure youre really great together
BOB: we are as friends which is 10000% what we are and not anything more
JOHN: Sorry can you explain from the beginning whats going on?
BOB: i texted alexei something meant for yelena and it just kind of became a whole thing
BOB: i mean their phone numbers are like WEIRDLY similar its like a few digits off
JOHN: You dont have them saved in your contacts?
BOB: i’ve never done that before today
JOHN: Never?? How the hell did you keep track of everyone in your phone
JOHN: Is this like a burner phone thing
BOB: i was a methhead not a mafiaoso
JOHN: Im an upstanding army man I dont know what methheads do
BOB: fuck off
JOHN: love you too bobby
BOB: haha
BOB: i just. before this ive only ever had to use my phone to talk to whoever my dealer or boss was at the time so it wasn’t really hard to figure out who’s who
BOB: although that probably would’ve been a way worse mixup consequencewise haha
JOHN: Probably wouldve been yeah
JOHN: Well Im glad youre in my phone now
JOHN: And the rest of the Thunderbolts
JOHN: No other group of people could make this much drama in the space of half an hour
BOB: ha true
BOB: i’m glad you’re in my phone too
JOHN: Wait holy shit Yelena’s in love with Ava isnt she
BOB: what
JOHN: Process of elimination
JOHN: God that makes a lot of sense actually she wouldnt stop talking about her all week
JOHN: I thought Ava owed her money or something
BOB: fuck i really can’t keep a secret
BOB: i think yelena might actually kill me friends or not
JOHN: Wait okay Alexei said you guys were in love as in with two different people so
BOB: i wouldn’t say in LOVE i mean its not. I like him its not a whole thing you know
JOHN: Him?
BOB: what
JOHN: Oh fucking hell no way
BOB: i can explain
JOHN: Bucky??????
BOB: ummmmmm
BOB: no. it’s not bucky
JOHN: I dont get it the only guys in the team are him Alexei and me and its definitely not Alexei so who else is
JOHN: Oh
BOB: we don’t have to talk about it
JOHN: I think we should
BOB: okay
BOB: do you want to call?
JOHN: I think its better if we do it in person
BOB: oh okay
JOHN: Its not bad
JOHN: But when I imagined doing this I wanted to do this in person
JOHN: I want to look you in the eyes when I say some of this is that okay?
BOB: yeah that. that works for me
JOHN: In person?
BOB: in person
CHAT: ALEXEI, AVA, BUCKY, JOHN <3, YELENA
BOB: yeahh so. me and walker are dating
JOHN <3: ^^^
ALEXEI: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUCKY: congrats
AVA: nice
ALEXEI: FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOHN <3: Its been 3 hours since you learned this information
ALEXEI: STILL TOO LONG
YELENA: congratulations you two, i’m really happy for you
ALEXEI: WE’RE ONE DOWN ONE TO GO!!!
YELENA: dad
BUCKY: never thought john and bob would figure it out first
JOHN <3: Im shocked too honestly
BOB: same
YELENA: GUYS
AVA: wait one down whos the other
BOB: shit
BUCKY: oh right
JOHN <3: Uhhh nobody?
ALEXEI: oops
YELENA: i’m canceling our family plan