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Nick’s body relaxed into the bed as the weight and warmth of Zak’s body rest on his chest. After a long day of filming, dinner with the guys and a round of drinks they couldn’t get out of, they were finally here. Right where Nick loved to be the most. Wrapped around each other in the quiet darkness. It was the only place that they could really be themselves. Outside these walls they had to be something else completely. At least for now. Just until Nick could figure out how to be who he wanted to be in front of so many people. Thankfully, Zak was patient with him; willing to face their loved ones and the cameras as friends while both of them knew that they were so much more. So at the end of a long day spent fighting the urge to kiss and touch and just be close to each other, the relief of coming together behind closed doors was overwhelming. Nick ran his hand along Zak’s back, just wanting to feel the soft skin against his own. Zak sighed, relaxed in Nick’s arms.
“I can’t believe tomorrow is our last day before the investigation. I feel like I’ve hardly gotten to see anything.” Zak mused.
“I know. It’s been so busy getting the interviews and B-roll taken care of. I really thought we’d have more time to sightsee.”
“Oh well, at least we got to ride in a gondola.” Zak said brightly.
“Yeah...Just me, you and Aaron.” Nick chuckled.
“True.” Zak laughed. “Maybe not the most romantic gondola ride in the history of gondola rides.”
“It was pretty though.” Nick said, remembering the beautiful buildings that lined the calm water.
“Yeah, it was…” Zak said distantly. “I would have loved to walk along the canal at night. I bet you it would be beautiful.”
“Yeah, it would be.” Nick agreed. He knew what Zak really meant. He meant that he wanted to walk along the canal with Nick. As a couple. And Nick couldn’t blame him. They were in one of the most romantic cities in the world and here they were wasting away in the hotel room because it was the only place that they could really be together.
“Maybe one day.” Zak said softly. And the thought was twinged with sadness that Nick couldn’t ignore.
“How about tomorrow?” Nick said quickly. Zak lifted his head, looking at Nick as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard him right.
“Are you serious?” he asked. And Nick could tell he was holding back his excitement, thinking there was a catch.
“Yeah, why not?” Nick said with a smile.
“Well, we’ve got interviews…”
“Yeah. In the afternoon. We don’t have anything going on at night.”
“But the guys?” Zak questioned.
“What about ‘em? We’ll slip away. They won’t even know we’re gone.” Nick said with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Really?” Zak asked, excitement growing in his eyes.
“Well, only if you want to.” Nick said playfully. Zak lunged forward, pressing his lips to Nick’s.
“Of course I want to!” He said with a grin, going back in for another kiss. Nick smiled into the kiss. His heart swelled whenever he put that grin on Zak’s face.
They made their way back to the hotel the next night after another long day of shooting. Jay slept in the very back row while Aaron and Billy, hopped up on caffeine and sugar, were having loud conversations in bad Italian accents. Nick drove and Zak rode shotgun. Nick felt Zak looking at him, and when he turned to meet his gaze he was rewarded with a beaming smile. Zak had been in a great mood all day, practically oozing with excitement about their secret plans later that night. Nick smiled back happily. The urge to reach out and hold Zak’s hand was overwhelming. Hell, just to rest a hand on his knee. Anything. But it would have to wait until they were alone. For now, all they could do was relish the possibilities of what the evening held.
“So, what are we doing tonight?” Billy asked.
“Something fun, man. Last night in Venice!” Aaron said excitedly. “We gotta go out with a bang.”
Zak looked over at Nick nervously. They had talked about skipping out on the guys at some point, but hadn’t really formulated a plan as to how to make that happen. Nick smiled back reassuringly but stayed quiet.
“I don’t care where we go as long as there’s pasta.” Billy said emphatically.
“There’s pasta everywhere, dude. We’re in Italy. And we just ate!” Aaron said with a laugh.
“You know I get hungry when I drink!” Billy quipped.
“What about you guys, where do you wanna go?” Aaron asked, directing his question to Nick and Zak. Nick didn’t hesitate before answering.
“Well, unlike you, some of us have to work tonight.” Nick said cooly. “Zak and I have to get to work on editing these interviews or we’re never gonna make the deadline for submitting to the network. So you’ll have to count us out for the last-night-on-earth festivities.”
“Aw, come on. You can’t even come out for one drink?” Aaron asked.
“We went out with you last night when we should have been working.” Nick said convincingly.
“And we know what ‘one drink’ means with you, Aaron.” Zak added, feeling the need to help back up their lie.
“Well, you’re not wrong about that.” Aaron chuckled. “I’d offer to stay back and help, but I really don’t want to.” Everyone laughed as Nick shook his head knowingly.
“At least you’re honest about it.” Nick said, shooting a quick glance toward Zak. The older man looked back at him sheepishly, clearly feeling a little guilty about their lie. But not guilty enough to do anything about it. His eyes still glowed brightly with excitement and Nick felt his face pull into a wide smile as the pieces of their plan fell into place.
A little over an hour later, Nick made his way to Zak’s hotel room. He had changed into a casual button up shirt, dark jeans and a black leather jacket. He adjusted his shirt, suddenly worried about being over or under dressed. He and Zak went out together often, but always under the guise of friendship. This was the first time he’d be picking Zak up for an actual date and he wanted to look good. He stepped up to Zak’s door, taking a deep breath and knocking softly. A few moments later, the door opened and Zak stood in the doorway with a huge grin on his face. Nick paused for a second to take in the view. Zak had washed the gel from his hair, styling it naturally on his head. Nick always loved his hair straight out of the shower and told him so often. But Zak would always gel it up into his signature look.
“Zak, your hair.” Nick said with a look of approval. He fought the urge to run his hand through it, knowing that it would only earn him a slap.
“You like it? I did it for you.” Zak smiled. “Plus, I thought it would probably help keep us a little more inconspicuous tonight. You never know where you might run into fans.”
“It looks great. You look great.” Nick said, giving Zak a once-over. He was wearing his usual black on black, but his changed up hairstyle had him looking more dapper than usual. Which was saying something.
“You look really nice too. I love that jacket on you.” Zak said, lingering in the doorway. They looked at each other for a few moments, unsure of how to proceed. “Why am I nervous? This is so stupid.” Zak said with a laugh.
“I am too.” Nick said, a little relieved. “I had butterflies in my stomach walking to your room.” He couldn’t help but laugh. They’d spent countless days and nights together over the years but somehow tonight felt like a game changer. Nick took a step in, taking Zak by the face and kissing him softly. Zak kissed back happily, wrapping his hands around Nick’s wrists to keep him close. Nick broke the kiss, pressing his forehead to Zak’s. “There. Now the most nerve-racking part of the date is done and we can just have fun.”
“But that’s the part I like the best.” Zak said with a smile, pressing their lips together again. He wrapped his arms tightly around Nick’s neck, kissing him long and slow.
Nick reluctantly broke the kiss.
“You know, if we want to go on this date we’re gonna have to leave your room eventually.” he joked. “Unless you’d rather stay here.”
“No way! We’re going out. We look too good to stay in tonight.” Zak said excitedly.
“Good. Let’s go.” Nick said leading Zak into the hallway. They walked side-by-side as they made their way out of the hotel and into the cool evening air. Nervousness radiated off Zak’s body as they walked. Nick longed to grab the older man’s hand and hold him close, but he wanted to put a bit more space between them and the hotel where employees might take notice.
“So…” Zak said after a few quiet moments, “what should we do?”
“I’ve got some ideas.” Nick said with a smirk.
“Oh yeah?” Zak asked, relaxing a bit. “What did you have in mind?”
“Well, first things first. We should stop and get you some gelato.”
“I like the way you think.” Zak said with a grin.
“I can’t believe you got three scoops! How are you even gonna eat that?” Nick asked, looking at Zak’s tower of gelato.
“Very carefully.” Zak said, testing the tower with a gentle lick. He gave a satisfied smile when the gelato stayed stacked on the cone. “Should we get a table?”
“If you want.” Nick said. “But I was thinking it might be fun to walk along the canal instead.”
“Oh, good idea.” Zak agreed.
“Come on. It’s this way.” Nick said, taking Zak’s hand and leading the way. Zak tensed up instinctively at Nick’s touch. They were in public and he wasn’t used to this. But Nick squeezed his hand lightly, silently reassuring Zak that he hadn’t forgotten himself. He’d meant to grab his hand out in the open. In fact, he’d been waiting all night to do just that. Every muscle in Zak’s body relaxed as a smile spread over his face. He moved in closer to Nick so that their shoulders brushed together as they walked, hands still firmly clasped.
“You gonna be able to eat that one-handed?” Nick asked, nodding toward Zak’s cone.
“I’ll throw it away if I have to. Just don’t let go of my hand.” Zak said seriously. Nick smiled. He was always glad to make Zak happy and he had never felt more completely and totally himself than at this moment, holding hands with Zak on the streets of Venice. They walked in comfortable silence as the quiet sounds of lapping water grew nearer. They turned the corner, approaching the canal path and were immediately struck by the soft glow of lights on the water. Candles flickered from cafe windows and soft lights peppered the buildings along the edge of the water. Everything seemed to glow with the inviting light.
“Nick, it’s beautiful.” Zak said dreamily.
“It really is.” Nick said, taking a moment to admire how the lights played off Zak’s eyes, lighting up his entire face.
They walked along the water, enjoying the quiet moment. Nick smiled to himself as he realized that no one else on the street seemed fazed by the two of them walking hand in hand. No one had stopped to stare or take a picture. In fact, no one even seemed to notice them as they walked. There was something so freeing about the prospect of just existing in this way with Zak. He knew it couldn’t be like this at home. Not yet at least. Not when people knew their faces and had expectations about who they thought they should be. But one day. One day it would be like this all the time. And that thought sent Nick’s heart soaring. He looked at the older man as he polished off the last of his ice cream cone. Nick was pretty sure he’d never seen Zak this relaxed outside of sleep.
“So, where should we stay next time?” Nick asked, gesturing toward the buildings.
“What?” Zak asked, confused.
“Next time we come visit Venice. It won’t be for the show. It’ll just be us, just for fun. So we can stay anywhere.” Nick explained. Zak smiled warmly, wrapping his free hand around Nick’s bicep, bringing them even closer.
“Hmmm…” he mused, taking in all the options. “What about that one with all the vines crawling up the sides.”
“That one’s nice.” Nick agreed. “But look at that blue one over there. It has its own veranda on the second floor. We could eat dinner under the stars.”
“I'll see your veranda and raise you a rooftop patio.” Zak said pointing to a building a bit farther down. “And it’s on the corner which means extra privacy.”
“I think we have our winner.” Nick agreed.
“It’s perfect.” Zak said, turning to face Nick, “This whole night is perfect.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” Nick said with a smile. “ And it’s not over yet. Come on.”
Nick pulled Zak across the nearest bridge. He looked around a bit, trying to get his bearings. After a moment, he pulled out his phone, checking his maps app.
“Where are we going?” Zak asked excitedly.
“Give me a second...” he said, fumbling with his phone. “Damn it. I had this all planned out.” Nick mumbled to himself. “Oh, got it! Just a couple more blocks this way.” Nick said, lacing his fingers with Zak’s again. Nick could feel Zak staring at him suspiciously, but he didn’t bother asking where they were going. He knew Nick would never answer him anyway. After a couple of blocks, music began to rise over the gentle sounds of the canal. Zak looked at Nick expectantly.
“A concert?” He asked with a grin.
“Just come on.” Nick smiled back. Zak was so impatient.
And as they made their way closer, the unmistakable hum of a large crowd filled the night sky. They rounded the corner to find a large, grassy area lined with blankets and chairs. Twinkle lights were strung up from the trees, casting a soft glow over the crowd. People sipped on wine and laughed as musicians performed in the distance.
“Nick.” Zak breathed, taking it all in. He turned to look at younger man with starry eyes and a smile so brilliant, Nick felt his face flush.
“You like it?” He asked happily.
“I love it.” Zak beamed.
“Let’s go find a spot. I’m sorry I didn’t bring a blanket. I wanted it to be a surprise.” Nick said, guiding Zak through the crowd, careful to avoid stepping on people as they passed by.
“That’s okay. We can just sit in the grass. I don’t mind.” Zak said.
“Wait a second...this way!” Nick said suddenly, quickly cutting off to the left. He made his way toward an old, sturdy tree with a low hanging branch. “This is perfect.” The branch hung just a few feet off the ground and was thick enough for the two of them to sit comfortably. Nick sat close, wrapping an arm around Zak’s shoulder as they listened to the music. “Now, if only we had some wine!” Nick said after a moment. “I really didn’t plan this very well. He chuckled.
“I’d say you did just fine.” Zak said sincerely. He leaned his head against Nick’s shoulder, exhaling contentedly. “Thank you for doing this.”
“There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.” Nick said in earnest.
They sat quietly for a while, just taking in their surroundings and enjoying the music. Nick watched as people laughed and sang and drank. It seemed everyone around them was happy and vibrant and full of life, and Nick was glad to count himself among them. Zak sat relaxed and quiet at his side. When Nick glanced over, he found older man looking pensive as he stared into the crowd. Nick followed his gaze to young couple a few yards in front of them. They lay spread out on a blanket, talking and laughing, pausing every few moments to press their lips together happily. Nick looked back at Zak, feeling a twinge of sadness as he read the longing in the older man’s eyes. Zak felt Nick’s eyes on him and he turned to smile at the younger man, wiping any trace of longing from his eyes.
“They’re sweet, aren’t they?” Zak asked innocently.
Nick felt as if his heart would crack open as Zak smiled back at him, hiding the sadness that was clearly brewing inside of him. For months he’d sacrificed everything to be with Nick; sneaking around and lying to his friends and family to protect him. Keeping their relationship behind closed doors. And now, here they were, out in the open for the first time. Nick had never felt happier, which is why it killed him to see Zak upset, even if he was doing his best to hide it. Nick wanted nothing more than to put the spark back in Zak’s eyes.
“Zak-” Nick started apologetically.
“Nick, don’t.” Zak plead. “Please don’t. This night is perfect. And I want it to stay that way so that I have something to think about when we get home. Something to look forward to.”
Nick nodded, understanding Zak’s request. This night had been amazing and he knew he’d think back on it for years to come, which is why he needed to make it count.
“Well, almost perfect.” Nick said with a sly grin.
“What?” Zak asked, confusion flooding his face.
Nick took Zak’s face in his hands, pulling him in close. He let their lips hover inches apart, breathing in Zak’s quickening breath. “I said this night is almost perfect.” Slowly, he pressed his lips to Zak’s, kissing him softly and tenderly. He took his time, refusing to rush the kiss. He felt Zak melt in his arms as he gave over completely, moaning softly into the younger man’s mouth as the kiss deepened. Eventually, they broke apart, relaxing into each other.
“Now it’s perfect.” Nick said as he looked at Zak. Zak smiled, eyes still half-lidded as he recovered from the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Nick’s arm, kissing his shoulder lightly before resting his head.
“One day it will always be like this, right?” He asked hopefully.
“It will be, Zak. I promise.”