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Phainon is what?!

Summary:

She flicked her gaze toward the two lovebirds—where Phainon still refused to let Anaxa out of his lap—and added, perfectly deadpan, "I mean, just show them that. Simple as that. Problem solved. Oh, and for the record, I’m not taking responsibility if things get out of hand. Well, maybe a little."

Aglaea stared at her, sighed deeply, then glanced back at the cozy atmosphere unfolding on the couch.

"…Fine," she said at last, pinching the bridge of her nose." Let’s try it. Monitor the reactions. Observe for a while."

Cipher beamed." Now that’s the kind of chaos I live for."

And chaos it was.

There wasn’t a single day those two weren’t trending on the Amphoreus web.

The spectrum ranged from sweet domestic bliss to full-blown feral chaos.

Notes:

I saw a nicely done spite fic and was inspired to make one, but Phainaxa keep flirting so it becomes a flirting fic instead

Work Text:

"Cheating?! Which lunatic even dared to suggest such a thing?!" Hyacine shouted loudly in the hall.

Phainon could be seen clinging to the love of his life, Anaxa, like a koala, while Anaxa strolled nonchalantly into the meeting room. From nearby, they could hear Cipher’s ear-splitting laughter, echoing like she’d just been possessed by some unholy spirit as she clutched her stomach.

"CHEATING?! AHAHAHAHAHA THAT’S HILARIOUS—WHAT THE HELL—I CAN’T BREATHE—WHAT ARE THEY, FIRST GRADERS? AHAHAHAHA!"

"Cipher, this is serious. Phainon’s name has been slandered, we have to clear it," Castorice gently reprimanded.

"Oh God, I can’t—okay, okay, listen. You know what? Usually stuff like this is just projection. Like, the cheater’s actually the one spreading the rumors!" Cipher added dramatically, like she was starring in a detective movie.

"So noisy in the morning," a calm voice interrupted.

"Oh, oh, oh! Here comes our co-star! How are you feeling, Mr. Famous?" Cipher immediately perked up, circling around Mydei as he entered the room and sat in his usual seat, crossing his arms as usual.

"What? What happened?" he asked, clearly disinterested.

"There’s this article claiming that you, our proud Master Chef, are cheating with him, our beloved Mr. Worldwide," Cipher announced dramatically, sliding a newspaper across the desk toward Mydei.

He glanced at it indifferently.

"Damn." 

"Right??" Cipher echoed with a grin.

"…Also, what is this sentence structure? Are they illiterate?" Mydei muttered. "At least try to learn how to write first." 

"You know," Cipher said, leaning on the table, "Those lazy asses probably just told some poor AI to write this. Can you imagine? Typing in to some random AI, ‘Please make a cheating article of Mr. Worldwide and Mr. Famous’—ohhhh, how scandalous. And desperate. I guess." 

"And obsessed," Mydei added dryly.

"Good follow-up!" Cipher grinned.

"So," he continued, glancing around, "Why’s he been acting like that? It’s getting annoying. There’s no way Anaxagoras would believe this trash article, right?" 

"No, no," Cipher chimed in, shaking her head with a sigh. "On the contrary. Scholar boy doesn’t believe it at all. That’s exactly why our Golden boy’s on his ‘I want you to feel just a little jealous!’ mission." 

"Ridiculous," Mydei snorted.

"Phainon," Anaxa said gently, brushing his fingers through soft, snowy hair, "Shouldn’t you let me go now? The meeting is about to start." 

Phainon only tightened his hold around Anaxa’s waist. Earlier, Phainon had pulled Anaxa into his lap, resting his face against Anaxa’s shoulder, occasionally stealing kisses or nuzzling closer just to breathe him in.

" Just a little more." Phainon murmured, his voice muffled against Anaxa’s shoulder.

"Why are you sulking again?" Anaxa’s hand drifted down from his hair to gently cup his cheek.

"Are you not jealous?" Phainon whined — it usually worked.

"You want me to be jealous?" 

Phainon nodded.

Anaxa’s long, elegant fingers began their slow journey upward, tracing from the hollow of Phainon’s throat, up over his Adam’s apple, brushing lightly along his skin. His perfectly manicured nails dragged just enough to make Phainon shiver.

Then, with deliberate care, Anaxa tilted Phainon’s chin until their eyes met.

Phainon swallowed hard.

"So…" Anaxa murmured, voice low and deliberate, "Have you been a bad boy?" 

Damn, that's hot. 

Phainon felt the heat begin to pool low in his groin, his breath catching when—

A sharp clap echoed through the room.

Aglaea, ever the professional, had clapped her hands together with the finality of a stage curtain dropping.

"Alright," she said crisply, "That’s as far as your PDA goes. Great performance, both of you. Do the rest in your own space, if you would." 

Anaxa smirked, clearly satisfied he’d gotten under her skin just enough to amuse himself. Leaning in, he pressed a gentle kiss to Phainon’s flushed cheek — a soft promise laced with unspoken heat.

"We’ll continue at home," he murmured, voice low enough only Phainon could hear.

Even Anaxa had to admit, he’d been spoiling his lover a little bit too much lately.

But Phainon made it all too easy to give in.

"Okay, let’s start with this article. What do you think we should do first?" 

"A press conference?" 

"A written announcement?" 

"Bo-ring," Cipher interjected with a grin, waving her index finger playfully. "Tsk tsk tsk. This all happened because you, Director Lady, are strictly limiting their PDA." 

She flicked her gaze toward the two lovebirds—where Phainon still refused to let Anaxa out of his lap—and added, perfectly deadpan, "I mean, just show them that. Simple as that. Problem solved. Oh, and for the record, I’m not taking responsibility if things get out of hand. Well, maybe a little." 

Aglaea stared at her, sighed deeply, then glanced back at the cozy atmosphere unfolding on the couch.

"…Fine," she said at last, pinching the bridge of her nose." Let’s try it. Monitor the reactions. Observe for a while."

Cipher beamed." Now that’s the kind of chaos I live for." 

And chaos it was.

There wasn’t a single day those two weren’t trending on the Amphoreus web.

The spectrum ranged from sweet domestic bliss to full-blown feral chaos.


@phainonspuppy

Omg Phainon uploaded his breakfast—

It looks handmade… did Anaxa cook for him???

I’m sobbing it’s too precious. 🥹🍳💕

@groveismyhome

HELPPPP Phainon just casually dropped a picture of Anaxa sleeping.

HOW does his skin look that flawless without makeup?!

What skincare is this. What lighting. What genetics. 😭✨

@anaxamylove

OMG Anaxa posted something after 33550336 years?!?!And it's a picture of Phainon on his lap??

Send help—

Phainon looked so smitten and that smile???

I CAN’T DO THIS TODAY. 💀💘

@Naxy4life

HELL NO!! Did Phainon just slide his hand around Anaxa’s waist like it’s NOTHING?!That waist—should’ve been MY HAND, UGH I’M GOING FERAL 😭💔

@PhaichanSaikou

DID PHAINON JUST PRINCESS CARRY ANAXA TO HIS SEDAN?!

THE ANAXA?!?! THE GOD OF REASON?!?!

WHERE IS JUSTICE—


.

.

@Profs51cmwaist

HELP!!! ANAXA FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE STREAM AND THEY GOT SPICY.

THAT KISS.

PHAINON WASN'T KISSING HIM

PHAINON WAS EATING HIM

MAN.

URGENTLY NEED THE RECORDING. PLS PLS PLS I WILL PAY. I HAVE MONEY. I HAVE NEEDS.

MY EYES HAVE SEEN DIVINITY AND I NEED TO REWATCH IT IN 4K. 😭🔥💳💥📼 

@PhainaxaIsJustice

DID ANYONE RECORD THE STREAM?!?!?!?

I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS.

I NEED IT.

PLEASE.

FOR RESEARCH.

FOR MY SANITY.

FOR HUMANITY.

@GalacticBaseballer

Damn, didn’t know Phainon had that tongue technique.

You could say that he…

‘delivered’. 😏📦📫

Someone give this man a medal.

Or a warning label.

@KhaslanaForever

DID HE JUST SLIP HIS HAND UNDER ANAXA’S SHIRT HOLY SHIT—HE’S SO DOWN BAD I’M LOSING IT.

@ImaDromas

DID ANAXA JUST—

MOAN?????

 I’M NOT SURVIVING THIS STREAM. 💀🔥

@Phainaxa4life

OH NO PHAINON REALIZED IT’S STILL ON

HE’S TURNING IT OFF

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭


Just before the stream cut, Phainon’s voice—low, amused, and entirely unbothered—slipped through the speakers,

"Sorry guys, what happens from now on is… strictly off-air." 

A final superchat caught his attention before he shut down the camera.

$100

@myprofcantbethiscute

Phainon, sir, please don’t overdo it with our professor. He’s but a feeble scholar.

Phainon let out a soft, dangerous chuckle, the kind that made every viewer shiver.

He turned his head slightly, gaze smoldering over his shoulder, eyes gleaming with mischief. The corner of his mouth curled into a slow, deliberate smirk.

Then, with a voice low and smooth, clothed in velvet and sin, he whispered into the mic, 

“Oh? But I think he enjoys it too much for me to stop.”

And with that, the stream died.

The Amphoreus web?

Exploded. 

@scholardownbad

 I CAN'T BELIEVE I HEARD THAT LIVE.

"He enjoys it too much for me to stop"????

 I’m losing it. This isn’t even a drill anymore. I’m invested like a Certified PDA Investigator with a Tumblr law degree.

@khaslanatruthers

 Phainon is too powerful. The smirk, the voice, the unapologetic menace.

 Anaxa isn’t a feeble scholar. He’s a willing victim.

 A beautiful, well-moaning victim.

@casualanon05

Imagine being kissed so thoroughly you forget the stream is still on.

I want what they have. Or at least the front seat in the same room.

@CipherDisownsThem

🔥🚒 THE ENTIRE INTERNET IS ON FIRE.

 I’m going to need my hazard pay. 🤑🤑🤑

@thechairinthefrontrow

I have never been more grateful for accidentally turning on notifications.

This is historic. I’m printing screenshots and framing them.

@CasNPollux

Everyone calm down.

I have the recording.

brb studying it for reference (academic, respectful, spiritual reasons).

@GalacticBaseballer

CAS!!

I’M COMING TO YOUR PLACE RN—DON’T LOCK THE DOOR. 


Okhema entertaiment’s official statement came hours later. Short. Clinical.

Please note that the livestream following the demo presentation was accidentally left running.

We appreciate your continued support.

No further comment will be made at this time.

Needless to say, that did nothing to stop the frenzy.

@cinnamonnon

"No further comment" is the PR version of "let them bark, we’re in love." 

@khaslanadreamer

I just want what they have. Passion, chaos, a little scandal. And a scholar who moans.


Meanwhile, in the very same apartment from which chaos was unleashed:

Phainon had just turned off the camera when Anaxa buried his face in his partner’s neck, groaning softly.

"You didn’t even try to stop that, did you," he mumbled, his voice muffled by skin.

Phainon shrugged, smug.

"I did. I reached for the mouse. Very slowly. With questionable accuracy."

Anaxa let out a sigh, half-exasperated, half-flustered. "They're never letting us live this down. "

 "Let them talk, " Phainon murmured, brushing a strand of mint hair behind Anaxa’s ear.

 "They weren’t the one being kissed. "

Anaxa looked up, still pink, still breathless. "You’re unbelievable. "

 "And that unbelievable person, " Phainon said, voice thick with affection, "is yours."

A beat.

Then Anaxa blushed fiercely, smacking him in the chest with a pillow. 

Phainon laughed, absolutely unapologetic, he leaned over to kiss the top of his head.

"You looked gorgeous in the stream. And you sounded even better. "

Anaxa whacked him once again with the pillow.

"I hate you. "

 "I love you too. " Phainon grinned, catching the pillow and tossing it aside.

Anaxa sighed, defeated, eyes fluttering half-closed as he nuzzled closer. "...You're not going to let me sleep tonight, aren't you? "

Phainon smirked, tracing his fingers along Anaxa’s bare back.

 "Not a chance. "


Somewhere across the city, Aglaea, already drafting the next press containment plan:

"…I need a raise." 

And from somewhere else, the sound of another stream notification going live.

Because Cipher, of course, was recording.

And she had opinions.

From her fully decked-out PC, three monitors wide, with a dangerously over-caffeinated Cipher literally punching at the keyboard, she grinned like a gremlin who’d won the jackpot of internet chaos. Her finger hovered dramatically over the "Go Live " button.

  "Well, well, well, " she drawled into the mic, already live before anyone could stop her.

  "I promised I would take just a little bit of responsibility if things got out of hand, but I never said I wouldn’t narrate it like a sports commentator." 

The chat exploded within seconds.

 @streamreactor77 

SHE'S LIVE SHE'S LIVE CIPHER IS ON WE’RE GETTING POST-GAME ANALYSIS

 @downbadcentral 

PHASE 1: Caught kissing.

PHASE 2: Accidental moaning.

PHASE 3: Phainon going feral on Anaxa.

Cipher switched scenes with theatrical flair. The stream now featured a slow-motion replay of The Phainaxa Moment when Phainon’s hand slipping under Anaxa’s shirt, complete with the dramatic zoom-ins, glowing red annotations, and a Spartan chant blaring in the background for maximum chaos.

"Here," she said, circling the frame with her cursor like a war strategist, "We see the exact second our Golden boy stops being Mr. Worldwide and becomes Mr. Domestic Menace." 

She zoomed in again. "Note the angle. The casual hand-slide. The audible gasp. And watch—right here—how he lifts the shirt with practiced ease." 

She paused dramatically, cursor circling the frame like a forensic analyst.

"He knows exactly where to push. That’s not luck. That’s experience. And then there it is, the moan.

Cipher sipped her energy drink with the reverence of a sommelier sampling rare wine, her eyes gleaming with unholy delight.

@amphoreusbaby

 Cipher’s stream is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. She has the moan slowed down to 0.5x with a waveform chart overlay.

"Note the tremble here — clear sign of a ruined man." 

 I’m not surviving the night.

@modestlyfreakingout

She also said “This was not PDA. This was public defilement with excellent lighting.”

Cipher has lost control of her life and I support her.

@CampChairInTheFrontRow

We are watching a historical event.

Our grandchildren will ask, ‘Where were you when Anaxa moaned on stream?’

And we will remember.

Cipher clapped her hands, leaning back in her gamer chair with mock solemnity.

"Alright, let’s hear from the chat — who do you think gave in first? Who’s more whipped? Who’s going to accidentally leak their wedding photos next? Vote now!" 

A poll popped up on screen:

* ☀️ Phainon: Certified Simp

* 🌿 Anaxa: Sly Siren of Softdom

* 💍 Both are Hopeless 

* 📸 Cipher Probably Has the Photos Already

The chaos was absolute.


The next day at Amphoreus web... 

@naxybbg
🚨ANAXA WAS LIMPING. HE’S OUT OF COMMISSION FOR TODAY’S PHOTOSHOOT.
I REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ANAXA. WAS. LIMPING.🚨

@tribiosofficial
Snowy you absolute beast. Our poor naxy couldn’t even stand straight 😭

@hyacinthiaofficial
Mr. Phainon, it was difficult to conceal those marks. Please exercise moderation next time.

@kingofcuisineofficial
HKS, you’re like a dog in heat 💀

@PhainonOfficial
Hey. In my defense, that photoshoot was a last-minute call.
He was supposed to have the day OFF. With me.

Needless to say, when Phainon deliberately leaked their wedding photos, the entire Amphoreus web descended into another absolute chaos.

Timelines imploded. Group chats caught fire. Servers barely survived.

And Cipher?

Cipher was thriving.