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She stopped the croquet ball with the tip of her shoe before kicking it straight back to him. He was crouched over in front of her, organising the balls when it struck his mallet.
He paused, slowly turned around, and a smile broke across his face.
He rarely smiled like that. He always seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. A quiet privilege settled over her, knowing that she was the cause of his happiness.
“You’re here.” he simply said. There was no surprise in his voice, just a quietly spoken truth.
She looked to her feet with a sheepish smile. “I’m getting married in the morning.”
She watched the swallow in his throat. “I know.”
“Nan and Hector are dealing with Parliamentary business for the rest of today. They’re both staying in London.”
“That is true.”
Lizzy dropped her bag and started to move towards him. He met her halfway, his hands coming to cup her face as their lips brushed, a promise of the kiss to come.
“Meaning we have today to just... be. ” Theo whispered.
Lizzy nodded, “To just be.”
He kissed her passionately, as if she was his, and he was hers, and always would be.
That wasn’t their reality, however, but Lizzy was determined to believe that it was for just one more day.
Lizzy woke up to the soft patter of rain against the glass of Theo’s art studio, a blanket wrapped loosely around her as she lay comfortably on the chaise. This little corner of the estate was so peaceful. It was the only place she’d ever really seen Theo be fully himself.
She turned her head to the side and saw Theo standing in front of a canvas, his shirt wide open, completely absorbed in his brushstrokes. His palette was full of shades of green and brown, an unusual choice. Theo normally painted beaches. Endless blues and sandy hues.
She watched him in silence, how his brow relaxed in a way she so rarely saw. For once, the weight he always carried seemed to have slipped from his shoulders.
“Has anyone ever told you that staring is terribly bad manners?” he remarked after a few moments, quirking his brow and grinning at her.
Lizzy shyly smiled back, “You’re hard not to stare at.”
His eyes sparkled as he gazed over at her. Nobody had ever looked at her like the way Theo did. Like she was his everything. Like his world began and ended with her. She loved how he looked at her and saw her – wholly, completely, all the good and all the flawed, and he somehow adored every part.
“What are you painting?” she asked.
“A memory.”
She got up from the chaise and walked towards him, sinking into his side and looking at his painting. It was a quiet woodland scene, soft sunlight slipping through the trees. There were wildflowers and ferns and a creek.
The light was directed towards a woman kneeling by the edge of the gently flowing creek. Her hand reached for the water, her fingers just grazing the surface, her dark curly hair spilling over her shoulders. It was like a beautiful oasis, so still and peaceful. A sanctuary for this woman.
“I thought you didn’t draw people.”
“I don’t. But you... you are too beautiful not to put on a canvas.”
Lizzy felt a pang in her chest that she knew could only be love. She loved him. So fiercely it made her chest ache and her heart soar all at once.
She rested her head on his shoulder, his nose turning to breathe her in. “It’s beautiful, Theo.” She whispered.
Theo kissed her head, and they stared at the painting for a moment longer.
Lizzy regrettably looked up at the clock in the corner of the room the reality of time hitting her harshly. “I - I have to go.”
She began to pull away, but his hand clasped firmly onto hers, stopping her.
“Stay.” he begged. “I have no right to ask this of you. I know that. But I have to try. Stay with me Lizzy. Being with you... it is the brightest part of my life. I do not know what comes next, I do not know if I can ever give you the life that you deserve and I am a selfish fool for what I am saying but please... please stay .”
Tears welled in Lizzy’s eyes as she sucked in a breath. She wanted to stay. She wanted to throw caution to the wind and find a way to be with him...
But she knew she couldn’t. She made a commitment to Hector, Theo had a wife, the fallout would be so tremendous it didn’t bear thinking about. The certainty of the devastation that would come was crushing.
“Theo...” she whispered his name reverently. Her Theo . Why couldn’t he always be her Theo?
“I can’t put into words what this has meant to me. You awakened a desire in me I didn’t realise was possible. You’ve made me feel sensational after feeling shame for so long.”
She felt Theo’s fists tighten against her white under skirt at the mention of Seadown's actions.
She’d opened up to Theo about it a few days ago about what happened. She had sworn she would never tell another soul after Jinny’s response, but she trusted Theo fully. She wanted him to understand her better.
As she told him what happened and how she had felt for so long, he had listened silently, yet his body was thick with fury: clenched jaw, hands trembling and a promise to make it right when she had finished telling him.
She hadn't taken him at his word. What could he possibly do?
But then Nan came back, and Theo let her stay.
Why?
When Nan made clear she was here to pass legislation that would end a man’s ownership of his wife, Lizzy had begun to suspect the truth. Theo was letting Nan back to Tintagel, helping her with the bill, putting his own pride and disappointment aside... for Lizzy .
By standing behind Nan’s crusade for Jinny, he was trying to bring peace to Lizzy. Right the wrongs he couldn’t undo. It was about legacy or politics or reputation; it was about Lizzy .
My goodness, did she love him.
How could she not? This beautiful, generous, loving soul who would move mountains for her if she asked. But she didn’t even have to ask. He gave her his all anyway.
She leaned her forehead against his and breathed him in. “I wish – I wish it could be you.” she confessed quietly.
“I will find a way.” he replied immediately. “I must find a way, how can what we have be wrong? It is the only thing I have ever done right.”
“You and I – we were never wrong, Theo. Never believe that.” she said before kissing him- fiercely, lovingly, finally.
Before he could wrap his arms around her, before he could make her stay, she slipped away from him, picked up her dress and ran out of the door.
“Lizzy!”
She couldn’t look back. She just kept running. If she stopped, she may never leave, and this could not be her reality no matter how much she wanted it to be.
She would marry Hector, she would fulfil the role she was expected to.
But she would never forget this. She would never forget him. She would never forget this extraordinary, exceptional, sensational love.