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i.
"Hyung. Taehyun is a vampire," Seungyoon whispered to Jinwoo two weeks later. Being Winner's leader was all well and good, but there were some things a man should not have to bear on his own. One of these being that his best friend was not a man at all, but something straight out of a romance movie. Horror movie. Thing. Whatever.
No one will ever believe you, you know.
But if anyone would, it would be Jinwoo-hyung, he'd decided. Although he hadn't completely given up on Mino yet, either. Seunghoon-hyung probably wouldn't believe him even if he could provide a signed statement and show him the fangs.
In the dark of their shared bedroom, Jinwoo hummed. Seungyoon could hear him shift around in bed.
"What did he do?"
"Hm?"
"What did Taehyun do that makes you think he's a vampire?" Jinwoo elaborated.
"What do you think he did?" Seungyoon asked. "He bit me! I think there's still a mark on my neck."
It was silent for a few moments and Seungyoon wondered if Jinwoo had fallen asleep. Dammit all. But then Jinwoo coughed.
"It's called a hickey, you know," he said slowly. Seungyoon frowned in confusion.
"What are you talking about? Hyung, are you talking in your sleep?"
"No!" Jinwoo protested. "Look, Taehyun's not a vampire, Seungyoon-ah. He's just maybe a little... overenthusiastic."
"What."
"But he likes you a lot. Maybe you should talk to him, though. Communication is important in relationships," Jinwoo said, all seriousness.
"What."
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about! Just tell him you're not very experienced yet. Ask him to take it slow," he said gently. "We all support you, you know," he added, reaching out across their beds to squeeze Seungyoon's hand.
Seungyoon wondered if it was possible to smother himself with his pillow.
ii.
Leader problems, Seungyoon decided, were a thing for leaders. That's why they had been made leaders. To deal with problems.
As long as he didn't mentally substitute 'the maknae is a vampire' for 'problem', this all made perfect sense.
"So, Taehyun is a vampire."
Mino whipped his head up to stare at him, eyes wide. Even knowing Mino's penchant for overreacting, this seemed more promising. Less likely to take a turn for the intensely embarrassing, anyway. Then Mino narrowed his eyes.
"Is that why he keeps treating you to dinner?" he demanded. Seungyoon would wonder at this mental leap, but comeback was imminent which meant diet obsession time was upon them.
"Well, yes," he admitted. Mino huffed. "But in return he drinks my blood, so I'm not sure it's entirely a good deal," Seungyoon protested. Mino shook his head in judgment of this conclusion and rolled his eyes.
"We all have our crosses to bear, Seungyoon. And yours is providing you with free meals, so it can't be all that bad."
iii.
He was desperate. That was the only reason he even bothered.
"Taehyun's a vampire," he told Seunghoon, dropping down on the couch next to him.
"That would explain a lot," Seunghoon said vaguely, not taking his eyes off his magazine. Seungyoon sighed and waited.
"Do you think I should take Haute back to Busan?" Seunghoon asked eventually, looking up.
"What? Why?" Seungyoon asked. He was starting to wonder why his vampire story inspired the members to share the most random shit.
"Well, if there's a vampire roaming around our dorms." Seunghoon shrugged. "We might be able to lock him in his room overnight, but not all our schedules overlap. Haute's been whining a lot lately, maybe he senses something."
Seungyoon stared. He knew well enough that Seunghoon was a wonderful balance of realistic and crazy, but he hadn't expected it to swing this way.
"He doesn't bite dogs," he managed eventually. "He bites me."
Seunghoon appeared to consider this.
"I would offer to drive you back to Busan too but we kind of need you here."
Seungyoon nodded morosely. Promotions were coming up. Usually this was a reason for unbridled joy. Now the vampire situation made a hiatus, during which he could flee to his mom's apartment, sound like just the thing.
"After all," Seunghoon continued. "We're not sure who he would bite if you're not around. None of us want to take the risk."
"Wait, what?"
iv.
Seungyoon glared at Taehyun over his hamburger. Taehyun looked amused. Mostly. Seungyoon desperately didn't want to think the word 'sated'.
"Did you tell them?" Seungyoon hissed.
"Of course," Taehyun said. "It's not good to keep secrets from everyone, hyung."
Chin in hands, he smiled his sweetest smile. Seungyoon used to think it was charming. Now he could only think about the fangs it had contained not half an hour ago. He attacked his hamburger viciously.
v.
Mino found Seunghoon in front of the washing machine, frowning at one of the sheets.
"What's wrong, hyung?"
"There's blood on this sheet. No one has gotten injured lately, have they? None of the cats, either?"
Mino shook his head.
"Not even a bloody nose, as far as I know. I can't remember any--," he stopped and grinned awkwardly. "Hey, Taehyun is taking this prank a bit far, isn't he?"
Seunghoon turned to stare at him, worrying at his bottom lip.
"... Right."
"I mean, I suppose he had to, to even convince Seungyoon in the first place. Seungyoon's not very gullible," Mino continued.
"... Right."
"He hasn't mentioned anything about when he's telling Seungyoon it's a prank, did he?"
"No."
"Oh. Where are they, anyway?" Mino asked, shifting uncomfortably.
"Um. Out to eat, I think. I heard something about hamburgers?" Seunghoon said
"They've been going out to eat a lot." Mino frowned. "Taehyun's never treated me to anything."
"Well, he is the maknae. Jinwoo-hyung thinks they're dating," Seunghoon admitted suddenly. Mino raised an eyebrow.
"Hyung watches too many dramas. No... But I wonder if they're really going out to eat? I thought they would go out less now it's time for the diets of doom again, but they're still going and they're both losing weight."
Seunghoon frowned. "You know, I hadn't thought about that? But you're right."
"Who the hell loses weight while eating hamburgers, hyung? What kind of black magic is going on here? I don't trust it," Mino concluded, folding his arms.
Seunghoon looked down at the sheet in his hands again. Mino hesitated.
"Do you think we're being pranked, too?"
"That's certainly an explanation," Seunghoon admitted. Mino pursed his lips in thought about the other explanation.
"So... you're driving Seungyoon to Busan this weekend?"
"Right."
vi.
"... Love hotels! Right? The other explanation is love hotels," Jinwoo exclaimed.
"Could be, hyung," Mino said. "Could be."
"It's kind of cute, I think. I mean, love hotels aren't cute, of course, but..." he waved his hands. "Young romance and all that."
"Sure, hyung."
Jinwoo frowned.
"Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure Seungyoon is ready for a love hotel."
"He's not a child, hyung," Mino reminded him. He shifted in his seat to lean against Jinwoo. Train rides always made him sleepy.
"Well, no, but," Jinwoo coughed. "I think he lacks, you know, experience."
"It's times like these I'm really glad I'm not rooming with anyone. This isn't information I either want or need," Mino said drily. Jinwoo swatted at him.
"I'm just saying, he didn't even know what a hickey was. He said Taehyun had bitten him. I think that's where the whole vampire joke came from, don't you? I mean, he showed me and I think Taehyun had been a bit overenthusiastic, true, but really. He was quite panicked. I set him straight though, don't worry."
"He showed you...?" Mino said slowly. Jinwoo nodded.
"Anyway, enough about them. I'm sure they'll sort it all out between them. I'm really glad you're taking me to see your family again! I'm looking forward to see-- What are you doing?" he asked, bewildered, as Mino shot upright.
"Hold on," Mino muttered. "Just texting Seunghoon-hyung. I'm not sure Busan is far enough. Also, what's the weather like on Imja this time of year, anyway?"