Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Rey woke up to her alarm, reminding her that she had obligations this morning. She groaned, rolling over in bed, and finding herself rolled on top of her little brother BB. He gasped as he shoved her off, making her almost tumble from the small bed they shared entirely. But she caught herself like she always did. She had this grace to her movements that she never questioned, since it always kept her steady. “Sorry Beebs, I’m getting up.” With a shove the blanket flew around, landing on top of BB, burying him in the warmth. Rey heard a small sigh as her brother wiggled himself completely under the blanket. She chuckled, picking up her phone and turning the alarm off finally. But as she stood she turned and yanked the blanket free, accidentally sending her brother falling from his side of the bed. She winced as his chubby frame hit the carpet down below. “Sorry! Again. But you know how this works, when I’m up, so are you.” She placed the blanket back onto the bed as she went around and grabbed BB’s arms, pulling him up from his rude awakening.

He leveled a glare at her. She scruffed up his orange hair and turned, heading into the bathroom to get ready for her classes for the day. Or rather, their classes. Rey couldn’t really afford to send BB off to school, what with their finances barely getting them by as it was. Their parents had died, leaving Rey the guardian of her little brother for the foreseeable future. But a double funeral was an expensive venture, and a 19 year old taking on a large mortgage among all the other types of bills meant they had lost their home fast. Now that Rey was 22, it was only thanks to the grace of her best friend Finn that she and her brother had a roof over their heads at all. She’d been renting out the spare room in his apartment for the better part of two years, and yet the siblings were no closer to getting out. Hence why she was going to the local community college to try and get some skills under her belt. She was studying to become a mechanic, which was fun when you were the only girl in the course. Finn had convinced her to take history courses as electives with him and his boyfriend Poe, so that made some of her days a little less miserable.

Besides these boys in her life, Rey was pretty solitary. She didn’t have time for friends when she had herself and a younger brother to worry about. And when you were living paycheck to paycheck, there wasn’t much time for a social life. But Poe was a free spirit at heart, and he would find ways to make Rey’s life a little more social and fun. Mostly through video games. They played a lot of video games together. Especially since Poe, who didn’t live there, was pretty much living there, despite having his own apartment. As Rey did her hair up, tying up three buns on the back of her head, she wondered what the day was going to hold for her. Nothing felt particularly off about today, nothing usually to feel, but something like a chill up her spine when she woke up felt like a sign of…something to come of today. She didn’t believe in things like omens or signs, but it was like an unexplainable feeling within her about something to come, like her body was stuck anticipating. But there was no test today that she knew of, so it was probably some trick of the mind. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, then left to give BB his turn in front of the mirror.

She quickly slipped on her outfit for the day, just something loose. She was getting used to mechanic jumpsuits, so most of her wardrobe now consisted of loose clothes. And she didn’t have the care to grab any clothes in fancy colours, so most of her clothing was monotone; white, gray, or black. Maybe a brown in there somewhere. As she grabbed her backpack she could hear Poe in the kitchen cooking some grand breakfast for his boyfriend and talking about something. She chuckled. That boy was smitten from the first day they met, and it was clear he was in love with Finn. Finn though, he was as dense as concrete sometimes. If Rey hadn’t pointed out how much Poe was flirting with him he may never have caught on. She came out and saw Poe carrying a giant plate of pancakes over to the island, setting the stack in front of Finn.

“Bone appetite or whatever the French say,” he said with a smile, looking at Finn expectantly. Rey reached over and grabbed a pancake off the stack, chomping away at it as Poe swatted her hand with the spatula. “Hey! Use a fork at least! This is a respectable household!”

“Leave her alone,” Finn said, “she’s going into a trade, she probably doesn’t even know what a fork is.”

Rey shoved him in his seat as she set her things by the door, scarfing down the pancake as she began to tie her shoes up. BB emerged from the bedroom in one of Rey’s white sweaters. He always seemed to steal her clothes, but she didn’t mind. They already shared a bed and most of their meals, what was one sweater here and there? He approached the stack of pancakes as Poe handed him a plate, taking a couple for himself. They sat and ate as Rey threw together a smoothie for later, not really much of a breakfast person.

“So, what’s got you in such a hurry this morning?” Finn asked as he downed his lovingly made breakfast.

She pivoted from her smoothie making, an eyebrow raising as she looked over to her friend. “What are you talking about?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know, just seems like you’re more eager to get to school than usual today.”

She began to shake the container in her hand, mixing the ingredients up as she leaned against the countertop. “Well, I did feel a little different this morning, but I can’t put my finger on it. I feel like something exciting’s gonna happen today.”

“Yeah, I’m finally gonna beat you at smash,” Poe said, turning and levelling a playful glare at Rey, who chuckled, flicking at him as she walked by.

“Like that’ll ever happen.”

The boys finished their breakfast and they were all off in Finn’s SUV to the college. The day was clear and sunny. It was pretty warm where Rey used to live, before everything happened. She missed it sometimes. A lot. But on days like this when there were no clouds in the sky, it made her feel just that little bit closer to home. Poe was telling Finn about some TV show he had just started watching, but Rey tuned them out, closing her eyes and letting the sun pierce through the trees onto her face as they drove. Then she felt something in her head. A sort of spark, or a tingle. It didn’t feel like physical pain or anything, but it was like someone had peeked inside for a moment, and her sixth sense picked up on the threat. Her eyes opened quickly, as she glanced around. Nothing was wrong, nothing was different, but there was…something. Whatever it was, it was something, and it was fleeting. But it happened. She kept her eyes open for the rest of the drive, but she didn’t feel it again.

They arrived at school and hopped out, heading over to the history section of the building. Rey held BB’s hand even though she didn’t need to. It just always felt better to know where he was when they were on campus. Finn and Poe would do the same, they sort of formed a bubble around him. Not that they didn’t trust anyone or felt he was in any danger, but he had become everyone’s little brother, and they all wanted to protect him. Especially when it was sunny, his ginger hair and pale skin definitely worked against him on those days. Since Rey couldn’t really afford her time or money to send BB to school properly she was mostly homeschooling him when she could. Otherwise he was tagging along with her or Finn and Poe to history classes. He wasn’t really allowed in the auto shop. The history professors didn’t mind since he was quiet, him being mute definitely helping that fact, and so they didn’t rat out BB to any of the board about him technically taking college courses for free. If anyone asked he was auditing the class at most, or at worst he was a prodigy. But the board didn’t frequent the campus unless they had to, so BB had been safe so far in Rey’s college career.

Finn and Poe waved at their fellow history students as Rey silently walked beside them. She didn’t really have any close relationships with any of the other shop boys, especially because most of them made any conversation or team based assignment very uncomfortable. A few had already been reported but no one had been kicked from the program yet, so that was fun. But today was a history day, so Rey was going to focus on that instead of men. Anything but thinking of men today. They entered the class and settled in their usual spots near the exit, so Rey could get out as soon as class was over and rush to her part-time job at the junk shop near campus. Or rather, the second-hand store. But considering the amount of people who just bring their old trash and broken down junk, Rey felt it made more sense to just call it a junk shop.

But as Rey was pulling her notebook out of her bag and handing BB his sudoku book, she felt another sort of tick in her brain. She blinked a couple times as the feeling passed, but she didn’t understand what caused it. Then she looked up, and over to her friends to see if they also saw what she did. They all shared a glance before their eyes were pulled to the front of the room, where a stranger was talking to their professor. This town wasn’t entirely small, but anyone who joined the college after the semester started became the de-facto talk of the campus. And this kid was about to get a lot of unnecessary attention drawn to him. Especially because he was dressed like and shared a similar hairstyle to Brandon Lee’s character in The Crow. Poe had to move a hand over his mouth to stifle the laugh that was threatening to escape. Finn just raised an eyebrow, matching Rey’s questioning expression. Like, was this a prank? Who did this guy think he was? And then their eyes widened a lot more when he turned around.

His eyes scanned the classroom for somewhere to sit, his eyes a dark brown, and yet as they passed over Rey she felt a chill as if they had pierced her, like the strange spark in her head. But the real reason everyone had their eyes on the new student was the glaringly large scar across his face, from his forehead tracing across his right cheek and ending halfway down the side of his neck. And from the look of it, the scar was fresh, or at least had happened within the past few months. And it was somewhat deep. Something serious had happened to him, and whatever happened was written all over his face whether he liked it or not. There had been a scuffle of some kind and he had won, the state of the other or others involved was unclear. Or maybe he’d just gotten into a crash or it was some uneventful thing.

Immediately everyone was whispering or texting their friends to inform them of this imposing figure. Next to the professor he seemed to tower over him, but it was probably more the fact that this boy seemed to be built like a wall that made the difference all the more jarring. But all Rey could do was stare. She couldn’t describe why, maybe it was intrigue, or disgust, like when you stare at the aftermath of a bad car crash, but she couldn’t tell whether it was something that was drawing her towards him or away. But whatever it was, there was a force between them that Rey didn’t have the time to really think about right now. So finally she looked away, back down to her notebook, as the mystery man settled down at the other end of the classroom, as far from her as possible. Perfect, no more distraction, especially since Rey was not that good in these history courses, so she had to work her ass off to keep herself from falling asleep in each lecture. But over the course of class, she felt her eyes drifting back to the goth boy slumping over the table across the way. He just didn’t look comfortable at any point ever, which probably explained the inescapable pout forever plastered onto his face. Like he was a sad puppy. It was weird. Considering his build, it looked odd for him to seem so meek and frail, like one wrong move and he would topple and shatter into a million pieces on the ground.

Finally class ended and Rey rushed from her friends to head over to the junk shop, the time passing quicker than class at least. It was quiet, so she could focus on next month’s budgeting and catching up on her notes. She’d write them as class went on, then forget them immediately, and have to review them multiple times before she actually remembered what was in her notebook. As she finished up and headed outside to meet Finn, he beckoned her over with his hand.

She held up her arms, questioning him, since she was headed towards him anyway, but he persisted. His hand got more erratic, trying to compel her closer with speed she didn’t have the energy to use. But she just rolled her eyes and began to shuffle closer, almost skipping over to the car and getting inside. “Oh my god what? What couldn’t wait 30 more seconds Finn?”

“That new guy in class is a murderer!”

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All Rey could do was blink her eyes in surprise as she took in the information being presented to her at this moment. “I beg your finest pardon?”

Finn started the car up and began to turn them out of the parking lot as he nodded his head. “Yeah, it’s probably true. You know how all the history majors have an insane groupchat? Well-”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Rey said, throwing a finger over Finn’s mouth, stopping him before he dropped all the explanation he had clearly been waiting to tell her. “‘Probably true’. I’m going to need you to not tell me something made up about the goth boy. Because if it's made up, I don’t care.”

“But that’s the thing, we’re pretty sure it isn’t. The girls started digging and they got his name from the class list, and it’s a weird name by the way, and then they started to find these like newspaper articles that had a picture in them of someone who really looks like him, except happy. The weird thing is all their names are redacted, but the pictures in the article look like older people, IE his parents. He killed his parents.”

Rey looked at Finn blankly, not buying any of this for a second. This sounded so ludicrous she thanked herself for actually picking the trade classes for once, since there she at least didn’t have to deal with stupid bullshit like this. “So a redacted newspaper article and someone who vaguely looks like this guy may have killed his parents and is now going to our small town university to study history instead of, oh, I don’t know, being in jail? Is that what you’re telling me right now Finn?”

Finn sucked in a breath through his teeth, definitely still on the side of believing this ridiculous tale, but also not wanting Rey to know that. But Finn was very easy to read, especially after all these years of friendship. “...yes?”

“Ok, I’m dropping history, you’re all going to rot my brain.”

“Ok, alright, I’ll give you that it all sounds unlikely, but come on Rey, you’ve seen him. He’s like a walking murderer blueprint. Tall, wears all black, giant murder scar on his face, if looks could kill and all that. He looks like he murders people, don’t you think?”

Rey put her head in her hands. “I hate that I’m defending this guy, but no Finn. In any other circumstance I’d say hell yes, but after watching him in class, he might look big and tough, but I swear BB could beat him up for his lunch money. I don’t think this guy has the stomach for murder.”

They stopped at a red light, and Finn gave her a sidelong glance, a smirk appearing on his face. “You were watching him in class?”

Rey turned away from him, staring out the window now. “Shut up.” This whole situation was ludicrous, and she was shocked Finn was actively engaging in it. That guy, a murderer? Rey had to admit, he did look intimidating at times, but it was in fleeting moments. Most of the time he really just looked sad. Rey didn’t think anyone could give off such sadness, not even her and her brother looked like that after their parents died. But this guy, it was like his entire world was crumbling around him and he couldn’t avoid the debris in time, so he was taking each blow as it came, probably hoping he could just make it out on the other side once it was over. If it would ever be over.

When they got home Poe practically leaped over the couch to tell Rey what she’d just heard from Finn. She didn’t give him anything either, seemingly the only person coming to this guy’s defense despite not knowing anything about him. But as she went to defend him, she got another pang in her head, this one more intense than the others. After that, Finn and Poe made her lie down, despite her complaints that she was fine, but they were firm. She was sentenced to her bed and Poe made her some sort of soothing tea for headaches. Rey wouldn’t say it was a headache, since it wasn’t aching. It was more like her neurons were firing on all cylinders, creating a lot of sparks as they traveled across her brain pathways or whatever smart people say about how the brain works. It was like someone was trying to pick her brain from the inside, and she didn’t understand what any of this meant. But the tea did help, and by the evening they all settled down in front of the tv to play their almost daily smash game with each other.

Rey selected her main, Pikachu of course, while Poe picked Fox, surprise surprise. BB kept switching between R.O.B and Mr. Game and Watch, tonight selecting the one hit KO’er without hesitation. And Finn picked Mario, because of course Rey had to live with someone who mains Mario in smash. And the round was on, 8 minutes, 3 stock, final destination, only the elusive smash ball as an item.

“You are going down Rey, this is the night,” Poe said, like he did every night.

“I’ll believe it when it happens,” Rey responded, now immediately going for Poe before all other opponents. BB also jumped on Poe, making this match clearly not in his favour.

BB got his 9 move with Game and Watch on Poe, and they all watched as Fox was launched off-screen, down a stock already. “Oh, come on! This isn’t fair! You’re teaming up against me!”

“Well then ask your boyfriend for help,” Rey shot back, chuckling as she made a recovery back onto the stage to avoid the endless drop below.

“I prefer not to take sides,” Finn said from his position as he knocked Rey back into the depths, “but I will not tolerate any of you bullying my boyfriend for much longer.”

“For much longer?? How about at all?!”

The tension was heating up, clearly. But Rey could always recover from something like this. And there was the smash ball, her ultimate recovery. She spawned back in and immediately hopped for it among the cavalcade of other people also vying for the exact same prize. But this is why Pikachu stays on top. Rey secured the ball and immediately used it, her loyalties melting before her very eyes as she went for all in her path, including her own brother. Knocking her opponents this way and that in a glowing ball of electricity, she watched them all fall. But they all still had one more stock, so the match wasn’t over next. But it was over fast. As her final opponent fell, Rey held up her controller in victory, just like she did almost every night. After that, they all wound down, Poe actually left to sleep at his own apartment for once, and Rey and her brother settled into the double bed to sleep, the day a pretty normal but still unexpected one. And as Rey drifted off to sleep, she was wondering about that new guy, what his deal was. She wanted to find out, but she didn’t want to engage him, just in the off chance he actually was a murderer of some kind. One last small prick as she finally succumbed to the tiredness in her body, and she was asleep.

As the week went on, for the most part Rey would only see him at a distance, either just passing him in the halls on the way to class, or across the quad looking for where he was supposed to go next. But every time she did see him that awful stab to her brain came back, seemingly more intense compared to their proximity. And honestly, Rey was getting sick of it. He didn’t seem to react, or at the very least react only the slightest bit, whereas for Rey it was intense, imposing, and rough. She’d never had things like headaches or migraines before, but now apparently just being near this guy caused one. But she had no way to explain this, so she tried to ignore it. But that got tricky when they had the same class together twice a week. And he seemed to be sitting slightly closer to her each time, or maybe the pain in her head was just getting more intense with each time she met his glance. This guy seemed like he was always on the lookout for something or someone, so he frequently made a sort of sweep of whatever room they were in, and he would always catch Rey looking up at the same time. It was almost like they were in an odd sync with each other, but she refused to believe this was anything more than coincidence. Like, there had to be a reasonable explanation for this, right? Right???

The last straw came the night she dreamt of him.

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Rey settled into sleep, but instead of some random mish mash of randomness from the day before making up a movie in her head, she found herself somewhere abstract yet concrete. She was in a grey-ish plane, with seemingly endless nothing in every direction. She looked down to see no real sign of a ground she was standing on, but around her ankles a prominent mist was tracing around, moving this way and that as she walked through it. She could tell she was dreaming, but there was no dream logic. She was in control. Ah, a lucid dream. Although, why would her lucid dream be in a void? That part was strange. As she walked, observing the lack of surroundings, suddenly she turned her head to see someone in the distance. He was wide, wearing all black, and slouched over, sitting on a rock that looked down over a lake of black water. Rey approached slowly, feeling the pang in her head as she got closer.

It seemed that upon her approach he started to feel her presence, as he sat up. He didn’t turn to face her though, only brought his hands up to his head, pushing against the sides as he seemed to groan. Rey wanted to do the same as she was mere feet from him. But she pushed through the pain, so she could focus. She didn’t know what to say to him, or why she was there, or what was happening really. So all she said was a simple “hey.”

He turned quickly, dark eyes wide with alarm, hands still pushing against this head. He seemed at a loss for words. Honestly, Rey wasn’t sure he could talk to begin with. But she was at a loss as well, because, for whatever reason, here he didn’t have the scar. His face was smooth, and maybe a little younger than he usually looked. It seemed like he’d been crying, because even in this strange gray nothingness environment, she could clearly see the tear tracks down his unpierced face. He looked her up and down, clear confusion written all over his face. “You’re not…supposed to be here,” he finally spit out, his voice not much more than a whisper, and deeper than she had imagined. It was like he was talking more to himself than anyone else despite his eyes staring deep into hers. Then both of them were screaming, the pain in Rey’s head clawing against her mind like nails on a chalkboard. An unending shriek of unimaginable noise and clamouring rattled inside her head. And from the look of it the only other person here was feeling the exact same thing.

And then, as Rey screamed, she felt her body being shaken. “Rey! REY!” Her eyes shot open as Finn stood above her, looking panicked. BB was also out of bed, near the door, clearly the one who’d fetched their roommate. Finn was breathing fast, looking at her with concern, eyes moving between each of hers. “Are you alright? You were screaming bloody murder.” The light was turned on and Rey could feel that she was covered in sweat. “Did you have a nightmare or something?”

She shook her head, her hair sticking to her forehead and cheeks. “No, it wasn't a nightmare. It was…” a lucid dream where she came face to face with the goth maybe-murder boy and felt a piercing stab of unexplainable psychic pain inside her head that he mirrored. Which she felt every time she looked at him it seemed. That’s all it was. But nobody would believe her if she said that. So she lied. “...I don’t remember.”

Finn nodded, glancing over to BB, who still stood by the door, almost scared of his sister. And he had the right to be if she suddenly began wailing in the middle of the night. Finn stepped back, grabbing his hand. “Hey Beebs, let’s give your sister her own bed for the night, I think she could use some privacy. You can sleep in my bed and I’ll take the couch, deal?”

BB nodded a bit, looking over to Rey for a moment before they headed out. Finn bid her goodnight and closed the door, leaving her alone. She ran a hand through her hair, pulling the stuck strands from her face. She looked over at the clock, 2:14am. She figured she wasn’t going to get back to bed for a bit, so she stood and cleaned herself up a bit, taking a cold shower and washing her face, and putting on some new pyjamas. She turned the light off and flopped back into the bed, rubbing her hands over her now clean face. She laid awake for nearly an hour, feeling no closer to sleep, her mind trying to quantify exactly what that was and what it meant. And then she wondered, was he laying in his bed in the dark wondering the same thing? And then that thought kind of grossed her out so she turned to her side and finally forced herself to sleep.

Come the morning she was on a mission. She didn’t really speak to her roommates as they ate breakfast. Finn and BB didn’t seem to mind, respecting whatever she was going through wasn’t their business unless she told them. They got to campus and Rey separated from the group, assuring them she’d be on time for class but having to do something beforehand. Then, she closed her eyes and tried to focus on finding this guy. And she knew the closer she got, the more her head was going to hurt, so she tried honing in on that as she let her mind guide her around campus. But it was different this morning. As she felt herself getting closer, the pull of him didn’t seem to be piercing or scratching, merely tugging like someone had grabbed her hand and was guiding her along. That was odd. She walked down one hallway after another, then finally she found him. He was pulling a book from one of the lockers tucked around campus. She was maybe 20 feet from him when he suddenly looked over, locking eyes with her, like he could sense her too. After seeing him the night before without his scar, now it was almost as jarring as the first time she looked at him to remember the large mark down his face and neck. As she saw him standing here in front of her, Rey suddenly found herself ticked off. Because whatever this was that was plaguing her started when he showed up, and now it was affecting her sleep and scaring her brother, and herself frankly. Her face went from determination to what was probably a scowl as she made the last few steps towards the man in front of her. She had never been this close to him, and as they came face to face, she realized he was about half a head taller than her. She wasn’t entirely short herself, but she wasn’t expecting such a difference between them. But it didn’t matter, what mattered was why, and she was here to find out.

She got up close, making him raise an eyebrow in confusion as he tried to step back and out of her space. “What the fuck was that last night? Why were you in my head?”

His confusion seemed to grow, not the desperate confusion that was on his face in the void, but a genuine questioning of exactly what she meant. “What?” His deep voice was quiet, unsure.

“In my dream, I found you in that weird void, on the rock. You freaked out then I woke up screaming. What the fuck was that about?”

He seemed to shake his head unconsciously. “I don’t…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said that, but Rey could tell in his eyes he was lying, at least partially. But about which part she couldn’t gleam.

She crossed her arms, glaring at the guy in front of her. “So you didn’t wake up screaming at 2:14am this morning?”

He blinked in surprise a couple times, his eyes widening. “How did you know that?”

“Because I woke up at the exact same time after feeling like someone was attacking my brain with a hammer after seeing you in my dream. Have you not been feeling shit like that whenever you look me in the eye these past couple weeks?”

He looked away from her, scanning the hall, before he brought his head back around, a hand tracing up to rub in his hairline a bit. “I mean, I’ve been having headaches almost nonstop since the day I arrived here, but I put it off as stress.” He gave her a once over, looking not unlike how he did in the void. “I don’t remember seeing you in my dreams, but then again I don’t tend to have dreams very often.” Another semi-lie. He spoke confidently but quietly, except behind his eyes, almost intrinsically, Rey could feel the omission or hidden second meaning to his words. That only made her more annoyed with him. He had an idea of what was happening and yet he wouldn’t confess.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Rey shot back, over this whole runaround. She stepped closer, getting back into his space.

But he only stared back down at her, unwavering. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have class to get to, and so do you.” And he stepped around her, heading down the hallway towards their shared class. She followed after him and settled in next to Finn and Poe. He came in and sat as far away from her as possible, across the way again. Unfortunately for him that left them parallel, and Rey didn’t pay a lick of attention in class, only staring at the boy across from her, trying in vain to probe his brain with her mind. She glared at him as he tried to focus on class, but she noticed he kept twitching in his seat. He seemed to move whenever Rey focused really hard on her attempts to read his thoughts. Fruitless efforts, she knew, but in her annoyance with this entire situation she figured it wouldn’t hurt. Except it seemed to be hurting him, as each flinch almost looked like he was jolted with a bit of electricity. He refused to even glance at her, only checking the door on his side of the room when he did his little sweeps. Once class was up he practically bolted from his seat, trying to get as far away from her as possible. She would have gone after him but she had work, so he’d won this round. But both of them knew this wasn’t over. Far from it. Rey was going to find out why he was in her head, and if she was lucky, she was going to get him out. Because he was lying about the dream, which meant he could be lying about other things, like who he is. Maybe he really was a murderer.

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Rey elected to sleep on the couch to give BB a bed, and because she felt bad that Finn had to sleep on the couch when it was her and her brother who were the real guests in this scenario. But she didn’t dream of him that night. No lucidity, no grey void, simply she fell asleep and woke up the next morning. Then that made her question everything. Could he purposefully keep her out? Or did this have to be a mutual connection for it to work? Or was he telling the truth about not always dreaming of the void? Now Rey didn’t know what to believe, their one conversation pretty much having rattled her. It didn’t help that the rumour of him being a murderer kept floating around everyone’s mouths all day long at school. But if she was sick of hearing it, the new guy was probably at the end of his rope having to hear people whisper about you when they didn’t even know you. Rey bet none of them had encountered him in an empty void seemingly having a panic attack before getting absolutely psychic attacked awake. But whatever that pain was, they had both felt it, both experienced it at the same time. They were connected somehow, and Rey needed to get to the bottom of it whether he cared to try or not.

She really tried to focus the following nights on going back to the void, but nothing worked. So she tries psychically blasting him in class, since he was now actively avoiding her. Everytime she rounded a corner and saw him he scrambled away or into the boys bathroom, where she knew she wasn’t going to get him to come out anytime soon. But it was strange, because when she got near to him she also felt herself lose her emotions. Like she wasn’t in control of them anymore. She would lock eyes with him and suddenly feel panicked, like she couldn’t breathe and was a couple seconds away from bursting into tears. It made his build all that more pathetic if he was running from her like a middle school bully and victim.

But after a few days of trying to follow up with him, she could swear she started to hear his voice in her head. It was a lot of the same, but he was trying to get the message across, or maybe he was just repeating it for himself. But after about five different days of attempting to follow him around, Rey began to hear a distant ‘get away get away get away’ as she approached him this time. He darted from her into a bathroom, so she tried to just walk past, leave him alone, pretend she wasn’t actively hunting him. But as she walked by she stopped, leaning on the wall, facing away from the bathroom as she heard his voice repeating in her head. Rey sort of felt bad now for pretty much trying to stalk him, but to be fair he knew what she needed to hear but was clearly refusing to tell her. So she decided to metaphorically be the bigger person here. She looked up at the ceiling, sighed, and simply thought, ‘I’m sorry’. She didn't try to beam it directly into his head like in class, simply let the thought out to flow free wherever in her mind it might go. His voice dimmed into nothing, and she tried to glance at the wall, imagining what he looked like inside. Whether he had heard her or not. The silence seemed promising. But as she did Rey flinched back from the wall, stepping back until she hit the opposite one. Because she could see him.

Intrinsically she knew the wall was still there, but suddenly it was like she could see right through it, bringing him promptly into her line of sight. He was just as shocked as she was, like in the void. He’d had his hands over his ears, but they quickly fell to the side as he marvelled at her. So, he could see her too. Both of them sort of opened and closed their mouths, but no sound came out, psychic or otherwise. But it did break when he looked off to the side, an action Rey mirrored, not seeing anyone coming down the hall, meaning it was someone inside the bathroom. That was interesting, since she hadn’t registered anyone else inside. In fact, when she’d looked at him, everything had gone quiet. All outside noise had basically disappeared. She looked back to see only a solid wall in front of her. And then Poe was coming out of the bathroom.

He seemed slightly tense, but he perked up when he saw her, waving as she fell into step with him. “Oh, Rey, glad you’re here. I was stuck alone in that bathroom with the maybe murderer himself. He was, like, staring at me hardcore while I was washing up. I think he either has a crush on me or wants to crush me and honestly I was super freaked out.”

Rey turned back to see him leaving the bathroom, glancing towards the two of them a moment before heading off the other way. He seemed allergic to happiness, not that Rey was really sending any his way. She really didn’t want to believe he’d done something horrible and wanted to hide it from her, but she figured anyone finding out someone else can essentially feel their feelings and maybe hear their thoughts would get worried about their deepest secrets being revealed. So, to give him a little break, Rey completely turned her attention to her roommate's boyfriend. “Don’t worry Poe, I won’t let him crush you. That’s my job. So don’t expect me to go easy on you tonight, you and your precious Fox will crumble beneath my humble Pikachu’s will.”

Poe scoffed. “You’re on.”

It seemed that Rey backing off worked, as when she sat in class afterwards his thoughts were much less tense than they had been before. She didn’t look at him, actually focusing on the lecture for once. She went to work, and all was calm. But after she destroyed all her opponents at smash and settled down into bed, that was when it happened. It seemed that a watched pot never boiled, and now that she had backed off, she was finally put back into the void.

She opened her eyes in what was presumably the same spot she had woken up the first time, nothingness all around her. Luckily she remembered the general path she had taken to stumble upon him the first time. So Rey immediately headed off towards the rock and the lake, hopefully she would find him there once again. But as she approached, the scene was different than it had been before. Instead of sitting on the rock, as Rey came into sight of the scene, she saw the new guy was in the water, tracing his hands along its surface, his shirt and shoes on the edge of the water itself. He either hadn’t noticed her or just didn’t want to bother with turning around. And then, in one quick motion, suddenly he dipped down and submerged himself completely under the water. Or he had gotten pulled in. It happened so fast Rey wasn’t even sure what she’d just witnessed. Either way her instincts kicked in and she ran towards the water.

“Shit!” she cursed, running and not even bothering to take anything off as she stomped into the water. He hadn’t surfaced again, so out of desperation she figured fuck it, this was the time to use his name, if ever. “Kylo?! Kylo!” But as Rey closed in on the spot he was in when he went under, he surfaced again, running his hands through his hair to keep it out of his face. Rey nearly knocked right into him, and that wouldn’t have been fun. Not when he was sopping wet and shirtless. No thank you.

She stopped herself about an arm’s length away from him, eyes wide with panic. His eyes opened and he mirrored her expression. “What are you doing here?!” He didn’t hold back, his voice loud and panicked. He placed his hands onto her arms as he began to look around almost frantically. “You’re not supposed to be here!”

“Yeah, we’ve been over this before, and then we woke up screaming. Remember?” She shook his hands off. “Are you ok? Or do you normally dunk yourself underwater for an extended period of time here in the void? Is this like a sensory deprivation tank type of thing?” Rey held up her hands, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She was going too fast, she needed to slow down.”How about this, let’s start simple. Where the hell are we and why am I here? Because clearly this is your weird sad lucid dreamland.”

He began to quickly guide her out of the water, almost manhandling her as he shoved her towards the shore. “This is my only respite, and no one’s supposed to be here. So if you’re here, then that could mean-”

Then a voice in the distance pulled both of their attention. “Ben…”

His hands tensed on Rey’s shoulders, and he started to move faster, bringing both of them out of the water. He was doing a sweep of their surroundings. Rey did the same, but neither of them could see anyone. At least, Rey couldn’t. But whatever the voice, whoever it was, it made Kylo look like a deer frozen in headlights. “Who’s Ben?” She asked him, but he didn’t seem to hear her.

His breathing had quickened, Rey feeling his emotions, making her tense and almost dizzy from the panic in his system. “He can’t be- he’s not supposed to be- this is all wrong.” Kylo had completely tuned her out. She figured he wouldn’t hear her if she shouted at him right now.

As she stood there dripping wet, watching this guy have almost a panic attack, the unknown voice called out again. “Ben…” Kylo straightened up, reaching behind himself and pulling Rey fully behind his wall of a body, his head still scanning the horizon beyond the lake, trying to place where the voice was coming from. Who it was. And then the pain hit, but now it was on the outside.

Rey tried to hold back her screams, since she knew if she screamed in here it would wake BB up out there. But as she held her hand up to her head, she felt a wetness, despite not having gotten wet above the waist. She pulled her hand back, and then her stomach dropped. It wasn't water, it was blood. Kylo turned, still desperately looking for the source of the voice, and Rey saw where it was coming from. Kylo’s face was dripping blood rapidly, right in the spot where his twisting scar stood in the real world. His own hand was covered in it as he pushed against the wound to no avail.

“Ben!”

The voice was sharper, clearer, closer. Kylo backed up against Rey, still keeping her behind him, trying to protect her from the unseen threat. “You have to go now!” He turned to look at her, eyes focusing intently, as if he was trying to push her out on his own. “Leave!”

Rey didn’t exactly know how to leave on her own from this place, so she just tried closing her eyes and scrunching them really hard, like when she used to have nightmares as a kid. If she forced herself to close in and come out she found she could wake herself up from any nightmare she could consciously realize she was in. So she did just that, and when she opened her eyes, she was back in her bed.

She looked over and saw BB sleeping on the floor, and she quickly realized why. Her pyjamas were still wet from the dream, and she could feel it. So she got up quietly and headed into the bathroom to change and check for any blood on her face. It seemed that there wasn't any, but as she looked she noticed her hand, the one that had come back with blood in the dream. It didn’t have a lot, but it had traces of it along her fingers. So it seemed that what happened in the dream carried over, and things from Kylo carried over to her. But what did it all mean? Why him and her? And who was Ben?

Chapter Text

The next morning she was eating some cereal and still mulling over what had happened last night. Then Poe was suddenly in front of her, pulling her attention from Kylo. “What’s got you holding a 1000-yard stare this morning?”

She shrugged. “Nothing, just a weird dream.” She didn’t want to tell him anymore, but she already knew Poe was going to drag this dream out of her kicking and screaming. He leaned down on the counter opposite her, his eyes suddenly piercing as he waited for the inevitable admittance. Rey tried to fend him off, but everywhere she looked, he leaned back into her vision. Finally she dropped her spoon into the cereal, giving in. “I was in a weird empty void with Kylo Ren and weird shit happened. That’s it, leave me alone.”

“What kind of weird shit?” He leaned closer, eyes going wide as he gasped. “Did you have a sex dream with murder boy?” Another gasp. “Is he a freak in your dream sheets?”

Rey rolled her eyes, getting up and putting her bowl in the sink. “There was no sex, that’s disgusting, I have standards. It was just…weird. I don’t know what the hell kind of dream logic was happening, but it was enough that I got startled awake and found myself in a pool of sweat, so there’s that.”

“Sounds like you have the hots for him, even without the sex part,” Finn piped up between bites of toast. Rey shot him a little glare over her shoulder.

“Neither of you are making this conversation enjoyable right now.” Finn and Poe shared a glance, chuckling between themselves. Rey rolled her eyes. Boys are never helpful in a situation like this, whatever it was. But Rey knew she had to at least talk to Kylo today. She didn’t have history, but she had a 2 hour gap between her workshops today for lunch, and she figured he would at least be on campus. Either way, she’d find him and get her answers. She needed to know who Ben was.

BB was left in the library to read while Poe and Finn went to their history classes. Rey tried to focus on her course, but her mind was wandering for most of the morning. She could definitely feel him on campus, and she was counting on it staying that way. Then, finally, it was time for her lunch break, and she immediately headed off in the direction she could sense him. She found him putting some stuff into his locker. It was kind of stupid for anyone on this campus to have a locker, since most classes you only needed a textbook and a notebook at best. But she wasn’t here to bully this guy, not today. Maybe tomorrow, but it all depended on today first.

She wasted no time. “Who’s Ben?”

His hand tensed on his locker door and he slammed it, looking around and seeing them as the only ones in the hall. His head turned to meet her slowly, his scar seemingly freshly opened. It must have bled for real last night, or at least he must have woken up with it cut somehow. “Not here.” And without another word he adjusted his backpack and headed outside, Rey following. He turned and they began heading towards the woods that bordered the campus, and Rey wondered if this was such a good idea. According to the rest of the school this guy was a possible murderer. But, she did have the home field advantage. She knew these woods pretty well, this guy most likely didn’t. If anything happened she could take off in any direction and know exactly where she would end up. But just as well, his emotions didn’t feel negatively charged, more nervous than anything. Whatever he was going to tell her, he didn’t want to, but his resolve outweighed his fear. So, Rey trusted him, since it felt like he was about to place a lot of trust in her with whatever he would tell her about whoever this Ben character was.

They didn’t go too far in, but they went far enough that you really had to look for the college back out of the woods. They walked until they found a turned over tree, and this made Rey assume he’d been to this spot before. Like the real world equivalent of his rock in the void. He turned towards her, leaning against the tree, doing a little sweep of the surroundings before his focus turned entirely to her. “No one is supposed to know about Ben. But I guess what happened last night couldn’t be helped. So, ask away.” His arms were crossed, his stance guarded. Despite looking at her, his eyes had a vacancy to them, like he was simply looking through her or into the middle distance without any set point of focus.

“Who’s Ben and did you kill him?”

His eyes traced to hers, in focus now. “Excuse me?”

“Did you kill someone named Ben? Is that the voice of your guilty conscience or something? Are the rumours true?” She figured the name is connected to the articles about him, despite the redactions, it was easy to come to the conclusion. Was Ben his father and did he kill him?

“What rumours?” Ok, this wasn’t going anywhere fast. Rey should have been more specific.

Rey closed her eyes and sighed, figuring if he hadn’t noticed he should at least know how the rest of his faculty felt about him. “The day you got here a bunch of the girls in the history department tried to find out stuff about you and they found a redacted newspaper article about you and presumably your parents. Now they’re all convinced you killed them. So, did you? Is Ben one of your victims?”

His hands tightened on his crossed arms, digging into his shirt. He scoffed as he processed this information, shaking his head ever so slightly to Rey’s words as she filled him in on his maybe murderer reputation. “Unbelievable.” He ran his hands through his hair, then did another sweep of the trees. He turned, leaning his hands against the fallen tree, beckoning her to step up next to him as he continued to fidget around. She did, mirroring his pose. “Ben isn’t-” Another sort of scoff, then he looked over at her. “I’m Ben. At least, I was, before everything happened.”

“And what exactly happened?”

He paused, probably weighing his options on whether to tell her the truth or not. It was a big ask from Rey, but even so, she’d already seen into some of his vulnerabilities in that dream world, so he seemed to come to a final decision rather quickly. “You know how witness protection programs work, right?” She nodded. “Well, my name isn’t really Kylo Ren. Shocker, I know, stay with me.” One last look around, searching for something that wasn’t going to be there, but this action had been so ingrained into him, he never seemed to go too long without it. “My name’s Ben Solo. I used to live in a small town kinda like this one, with my parents, then the murders happened. My parents were sort of in this weird religious cult, but they didn’t want me to get too deeply involved with it like most of the town, so they tried to shelter me quote unquote ‘as best they could’. But my uncle Luke was really into it, like he’d been in it for decades at this point. And you need to understand, my uncle Luke was kind of unstable to begin with, since my grandfather got pulled really deep into the other, somehow worse sect of the cult and cut off Luke’s hand in some crazy tirade, so he had all of that trauma going for him.” A sort of sarcastic laugh escaped his mouth as he looked off at nothing while he went through his memories to explain the situation to her. And as he spoke, Rey could almost see them playing in her own head. Like in the dream void, she was there, unconsciously present with him as he went through his trauma.

She could see the small town, Kylo’s parents, the so-called ‘uncle Luke’ and his metal prosthetic hand, and bits and pieces of a sort of church setting. “Anyway, I was somewhat invested in the cult, since I grew up in it, so there wasn’t much I could do about it. But then uncle Luke just snapped, got…religious psychosis or something, because he determined that I had this growing darkness inside of me and I was going to turn to the ‘dark side’ of the cult. Which is hilarious considering both sides of the cult were still a cult.” Then the scene in Rey’s head changed, and she found herself in a simple bedroom, but the atmosphere was tense. Like someone was watching her. “So, one night, he broke in, and he tried to kill me.” She saw a younger and unscarred Kylo like how he looked in the dream void, or this would be Ben rather, startle awake, his uncle looming over him. It was a full moon outside, and that was the only light in the otherwise dark room. It reflected in Luke’s eyes, those light blue eyes that seemed to be boring themselves deep into Ben’s very being. And his own face was dark, disgusted, seeing an evil that simply wasn't there. Rey turned and looked at Ben, and his expression was simply one of fear. He was shaking slightly as he watched his uncle raise a large knife against him.

“I was terrified. I thought that was it. My body had almost frozen when the light of the moon reflected off the knife in his hand.” His hands tightened against his arms. “Almost. I dove towards him at the last second, since he was between me and the door, and he slashed at me, aiming for the eyes. He got my face pretty damn good, but I was already feeling the adrenaline kick in, and I ran screaming right out of the house. I didn’t even think about my parents, or anything besides getting away from him. I didn’t even realize I’d been cut at all.” As Ben ran from the house Rey heard behind him the noise of shouting, and then screams, a man and a woman. Ben stumbled onto the streets, and a police car happened to be driving by. Well, a cult town and cult antics, it would make sense for a more noticeable police presence. Ben stumbled over and practically fell onto the car, pointing inside while blood gushed down his face. He could barely string a coherent word together, but it was obvious something serious was going down.

“I didn’t even realize they were dead until the paramedics arrived. They dragged uncle Luke from the house, I remembered my parents existed, and the police stopped me from seeing what he’d done to them. The paramedics hid their bodies, and the coroners did a great job fixing them up. But suddenly I was alone, my parents were dead, and my homicidal uncle vowed that he would get me one day, and the Jedi would back him up.” He looked over at Rey for a moment. “The Jedi being the cult.” He looked away again. “So, for my safety, they put me into witness protection until his trial, but there’s a lot of backlogged evidence to look into surrounding the cult and all that. So that’s why I’m here. Because I’m hiding like a coward, always looking over my shoulder because although my uncle’s locked up, his words felt so damning, so direct and full of meaning, that I swear he’ll find a way to escape and track me down, sooner or later.” He looked down at the forest floor, kicking at a rock. “I don’t know how your classmates got murderer from whatever that article is, but I promise you Rey, I’m not one. I’m just…Kylo Ren now.”

Rey might have almost believed that he was making that up to cover his ass, but being able to see the memories as he relayed the tale was what did it. Rey was almost a first hand witness now, feeling a chill up her spine as she remembered the look in Luke’s eye as he loomed above a younger Kylo. She didn’t think she had ever seen such a powerful look of hatred and disdain for another person ever. “Kylo, I’m so sorry.”

His hands tightened against his arms again. “It’s fine. It’s not your fault. And no one here knows, for obvious reasons. I don’t care if they think I’m a killer. It’s probably safer if they stay away from me. I don’t want anyone else getting dragged into this if uncle Luke ever finds me.”

“Well, he’s in prison and doesn’t know you’ve changed identities, right? Surely you’re safe here?”

“That’s what I thought, then you got in my head. That was his voice calling me in the dream. That didn’t happen before you. I’m worried he can feel where I am.”

At that Rey had to laugh a bit, knowing that was probably the most improbable thing she had ever heard. But she quickly stopped when he looked over at her, his expression anything but joking. “Well, it’s only a dream. The voice wasn’t real, just a manifestation. Or have you never dreamed about people you know before?”

“But it isn’t only a dream. And we both know that. Things in the dream carry over. And you’re conscious, you’re really there with me. That empty void in my dreams is a psychic place I really go to, one I thought was just for me. But now… I don’t know what to believe. In the Jedi cult, they would say things about their best followers, something about psychic powers and spiritual control over your presence. Some whackadoo cult bullshit, but it’s clearly true. If we’re connected through it, who’s to say my family isn’t as well? Who’s to say my uncle Luke doesn’t know where I am and is planning to come and finish the job? Whatever is happening is real, and you’re a witness to that.” Then he stopped, a panicked realization coming over his face and rushing through his body. He promptly turned and began to walk away from Rey, definitely in a hurry.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“You were there, he knows who you are. You’re in danger. I need to get away from you. This was all a mistake. I need to go.” And although his pace quickened, Rey could feel how he was feeling, and of course his feelings betrayed his words. He didn’t want to get away, his talk with her lifting the smallest amount of weight off his chest. Trauma dumping to her, confessing who he really was, made him feel better, if only for a minute or two. A relief that was being overshadowed by trying to protect her with distance. But Rey didn’t believe it was as deep as he was taking it. Even if his uncle did somehow infiltrate his dream world, what could he really do? He was probably several states away in a high security prison. Kylo didn’t have nearly as much to worry about as he thought, and Rey was suddenly determined to demonstrate that to him.

“Kylo! Wait!” She reached out, grabbing onto his arm. He stopped, not exactly trying to wrench his arm from her hands, but pulling enough to make her have to keep tightening her grip to keep him secured. “It’s fine. I’m ok. We’re ok. Your uncle is nowhere near here, otherwise you’d probably feel him like you feel me, right?” He didn’t say anything, didn’t move, but the tugging lessened ever so slightly. “I’m not scared of him, not if we’re together. Besides, you’re built big and sturdy, surely you could take him hands to hand if he showed up.” The pun got what felt like a smile from him at least. She’d take that. “Besides, I think I’m your only friend here. Everybody needs a friend in their life. Don’t throw this whole thing away. Otherwise I’m going to start psychically blasting you in class again.”

A small sigh, his hand going slack in her grip. He glanced at her over his shoulder, a frown on his face. But then it perked up, just a bit, into the slightest hint of a smile. “Ok. Friends.”

She let go of his hand, his body unmoving. “That’s the spirit. Now come on, I have a lunch to eat and although I love the woods, I also like the picnic tables on campus.” She stepped up to be alongside him. “Shall we?” He nodded, the small smile still present on his face, and the two of them walked out of the woods, their strange relationship moving up a level. Rey didn’t want to think of where this might lead, but she wasn’t entirely opposed either.

Chapter Text

After grabbing BB, and explaining to him that Kylo was friendly despite his appearance, they all ate lunch together, but it was very quiet. Rey figured because Kylo was in witness protection he couldn’t really talk about himself or his past without revealing something he wasn’t supposed to, hence one of the reasons he kept to himself. But she didn’t really mind the quiet. And besides, she could basically hear his thoughts and feel his feelings, and it seemed he was calm with the silence, and thus so was she. Afterwards Rey headed back to class and finished up her assignment for the day. Her shift at work was boring, and then it was time to go home and play smash.

Over the next few days there were no more lucid dreams, but Rey and Kylo did end up either accidentally or purposefully running into each other at school. They started eating most of their lunches together, and sometimes they would head off into the woods and Rey would get to learn a little more about who he really was. He told her that he used to practice with his psychic powers with moving rocks in his backyard, which evolved into playing chess with himself and other bigger feats. But he’d never really had friends growing up, since the other Jedi kids were a lot more ingrained into the cult than him. He chuckled as he thought of it, which made Rey raise an eyebrow at him.

“What’s so funny?”

He shook his head a bit, “well, I think you’re the first real friend I’ve ever had…which sounds very sad and pathetic. I got my first friend at 24, totally a normal age for that to happen.”

She shrugged. “Well, I think you’re my first new friend since my parents died, which was about 3 years ago, so I’m in a similar boat, in a way.”

He nodded a bit. “Thanks. That makes me feel better.”

“And that’s what friends do.” Then she nudged his shoulder, so he nudged back, so Rey fully pushed him, which he clearly wasn't expecting as he tumbled to the ground. That must have been the only child in him not to expect an escalation. She helped him back up and they laughed it off, and Rey watched him. When he didn’t look so forlorn like he did most of the time, he had a really great smile.

“Thanks,” he said out of nowhere.

“What are you thanking me for this time?”

“The compliment on my smile.”

Rey slapped a hand over her face. Right, this whole feeling each other’s feelings and hearing each other’s thoughts went both ways. How soon she forgot that. "You're welcome. I’m leaving now so you can get out of my head.” A chuckle as she walked past him and headed back to campus. Rey made a mental note to only admire his features from the comfort of her room alone in the middle of the night, like normal people did.

After a couple weeks of their friendship, Poe and Finn began to truly take notice. They would give her weird looks in class, probably trying to figure out why she was suddenly giving so much of her attention to the so-called ‘parent murderer’. As she headed to meet Kylo for lunch they found her first, stopping her in the hallway. “Rey, wait up!”

She turned as Finn and Poe caught up, only Finn out of breath. “What’s your deal lately?” Poe said, arms crossed, without elaborating anything.

“Care to be more specific?”

“You and scarface,” Finn said, looking around in case he might be nearby and hear the derogatory nickname.

“What about me and Kylo?”

Poe eyed her up and down. “Oh, so you’re on a first name basis with him, huh? Interesting, interesting.”

Rey had to hold back every fibre of her that wanted to roll her eyes at them. “Poe, Finn, he’s literally just a guy. All this murderer talk is being blown way out of proportion. Maybe if you actually talked to him at all you would realize that.” Then she got an idea, looking between the two of them with a devious smile on her face. “Unless you’re scared?”

Poe scoffed, puffing up his chest a bit. “Me? Scared? Of him? Never.”

Finn raised his hand a bit, “I’m scared of him.” Poe gave his boyfriend a wide-eyed look as he smacked him on the shoulder, making Finn straighten up, crossing his arms to mirror Poe’s stance. “Scared? No, couldn’t be me.”

“Well, if you aren’t scared, then you’ll be fine with me inviting him over for dinner and smash bros tonight, right?”

“You bet your ass we- wait.” Poe seemed to have caught on to her plan, but it was too late. “Oh no, this guy isn’t allowed to know where we live!”

Finn piped up, “where I live, you don't live there.”

“Ok. First of all, rude.”

“Well it’s true…”

Rey tuned them out as they went back and forth, turning away to go ask Kylo over for dinner. “Ok, I’m gonna go let him know the plan. We’ll order pizza or something. Thanks for understanding.” She waved a hand behind her as she left, Poe distractedly waving it back as he and Finn continued their living situation debate, their fear immediately quelled by the change in subject focus.

She found Kylo out in the woods, because of course he was somewhere isolated where he could breathe a bit, and she sat down on the overturned tree next to him. “Do you want to come over to my place tonight, for an informal dinner? My roommates and brother will be there, but it’s more just a chance for you to socialize with someone other than just me.”

He glanced over at her, eyes roving across her face as he seemed to be watching the sun and shadows as they moved over her. “What if I only wanted to talk to you though? Is that so bad? Are you sick of me already?”

Rey shook her head. “Honestly it's more my effort to get my roommates to stop pestering me about hanging out with you. If they can see you’re just a regular guy then maybe we can all be friends, and they can get off my back.” There was a pause. “I’m clearly doing this for selfish reasons, please come to my place of living and help me mellow out my roommates.”

“How long would this dinner be?”

Rey chuckled, leaning back on the tree a bit. “Why? Do you have a curfew?”

“Yes actually. Plus, I don’t like being out after dark anyway, it brings back…bad memories.”

Rey nodded, “fair enough. I’ll keep an eye on the clock for you then.” She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to him. “That’s the address, and my number in case you wanted to text or call me when you arrived.” She shrugged a bit, looking the other way while she admitted, “or if you just wanted to text me in general.”

Behind her she could feel a sort of warmness in her stomach, clearly Kylo’s own feelings being mirrored by her. He was happy at that moment, and it made Rey feel just as good.

“Alright, I’ll see you for dinner then.” And he stood, having to get to class. As he walked away Rey turned back, watching his tall form disappear into the trees, seeing the sun and shadows trace across him, like he observed with her. He looked awkward as he stumbled away, another obvious reason he couldn’t be a killer. He was a defensive person in attitude, but also in how he operated. He didn’t seem like the type to start a fight, but he could definitely end one very quickly. Rey wondered if he actually worked out or if he just grew into the broad tall guy he was. Then she remembered she wasn’t supposed to think like that unless she was far away from him, so she banished that thought away as she tried to think of literally anything else. Like how she was going to break it to Poe that he might have to sit out of smash bros tonight so their guest could play, because he doesn’t live in their apartment. That was going to be a true test of Rey’s patience.

As the clock ticked towards Kylo’s expected arrival time she cornered Finn and Poe in the kitchen and implored them to at least be nice to him while he was there, giving them full permission to say whatever they really thought once he left. But they had to be on their best behaviour, or else. BB wrote Rey a note saying he was going into their bedroom and not coming out until after he was gone, and to deliver him a couple slices when the pizza arrived. That led to a new argument as Poe felt it unfair that her little brother could get out of this, leading to Rey shooting back the fact that Poe still didn’t live there and he could leave whenever he wanted. But his loyalty to his boyfriend kept him there, so that was settled, and then Rey got the text that Kylo was there, heading down to let him inside. She opened the door to see him standing there looking more awkward and forlorn than usual. But underneath she could just feel his nervousness hitting her like a truck. She reached out and rubbed his arm a bit, trying to give him a sense of calmness as she smiled at him. “Hey, everything will be fine.”

He nodded the slightest bit and they went upstairs, where Poe and Finn had clearly put on fake smiles as he walked in. But at least they weren’t looking at him in abject disgust. “Kylo, right? From our history of warfare class? I’m Finn and this is my boyfriend Poe.” He stood and held out a hand for him to shake, as Poe stood in the kitchen still, smiling but keeping a distance.

Kylo shook his hand, “yeah. And I think I’m in American Imperialism with you too.”

“Yeah, I sit way at the front in that class because that professor can’t project for shit.”

“That’s what I’ve noticed. I think she’s partially deaf.”

Finn rolled his eyes, “oh yeah, big time. Don’t get me started on the project term presentations, I’ve heard those are hell since she sits so far up to listen to them.”

This was good. This was going well. They were talking and being friendly and everything was fine. Nothing was going to go wrong tonight. And then Rey got the call that the pizza was here, so she went and fetched it. When she returned she laid it out and quickly grabbed some slices for BB, since she knew Finn and Poe could demolish a pizza in about 3 minutes if she wasn’t careful to kick and scream her way into getting a few slices.

And she was right, because when she got back into the kitchen, all of the pizza was gone, and she could see the boys absolutely inhaling them on the couch. “Guys, you know that was for all of us, right?”

“You already got your pieces!” Poe whined with a mouth entirely full, but luckily after dealing with this for a couple years Rey could perfectly understand their mouth-full talk.

“Those were for BB, but it’s fine.”

Kylo was just standing there with a couple pieces on his plate, watching the boys with a definite concern at their eating speed, but he held it up for her. “We can share if you want. I ate before I came over.”

“Why? I told you we were ordering pizza?”

“I’ve never had it before, so I was preparing for the worst.”

That made Finn and Poe stop their vicious slaughtering of their own pieces. “You’ve never had pizza before?”

“Dude, what is wrong with your parents?”

His hands tensed on his plate. “They sheltered me from a lot as a kid. I guess once I became an adult I just kept up the practices.” He walked over to the couch and settled on the far end, Rey flopping down next to him and grabbing one of his slices.

“Well, now’s your chance to be adventurous.” He nodded a bit, taking a small bite of his piece. The rest of the people on the couch were watching with rapt attention, waiting for the moment of realization that pizza was the best thing ever invented by man. But it didn’t seem to come. He took a couple more bites then stopped, seemingly satisfied. After a brief silence he noticed the stares, slowly looking over to meet everyone’s eyes.

“Well?” Poe spit out.

“It’s fine. I don’t really like it that much if I’m being honest.”

“Wow.” The boys on the other end of the couch went back to their own food, while Rey grabbed Kylo’s piece.

“If you don’t want it I can finish it.”

“Alright.” He handed it over to Rey and they finished up their pizza without so much talk. But afterwards it was time for the main event. Smash brothers.

Poe got up to turn the console on, and he suddenly took it upon himself to guess what Kylo’s main would be. “Alright, so you’ve got that whole emo vibe going on, so the question is: do you pick someone based on looks or based on strategy? Because Finn picks based on strategy, which means he’s an obnoxious Mario main.”

“I’m sitting right here,” he pointed out, holding up a finger in objection.

“Yes you are and I love you so much you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. But please never tell anyone I know you’re a Mario main, because I couldn’t live down the shame. Rey mains Pikachu like the crafty scrapper she is. You’re lucky BB’s sitting out of this, because he mains R.O.B and especially Mr. Game and Watch, and he always gets those 9’s when it benefits him. He’s truly the one hit KO king.” He stood as the console started to boot up. “I, like the pilot I dream to be, main Fox, who is the best starfox character, and you can argue with the wall about that. But you,” he stepped closer to Kylo, who seemed like Poe was speaking a foreign language at him, “you have a lot of ways you could go with this. Are you dark Pit, dark Link, dark Toon Link? Or are you a Ganandorf or Meta Knight OP machine. OR, are you a zero suit samus girlie?” He paused, pressing his fingers to his mouth as he stared intently at Kylo. “I got it! Bayonetta! Or sephiroth…”

The main screen was up and they clicked into the game proper, Poe still trying to big brain himself to an answer before Kylo picked. Rey handed him a controller and he hesitantly looked it over. “What, are you used to gamecube controllers instead of stick?”

He let out a sort of forced laugh, “Um, if I can be honest, I’ve never played this before.”

“Ness!” Poe shouted out, but it was too late. “Oh, well, nevermind then.”

“You’ve never played smash bros before? Like, at all? Not even at a friend's house?” Finn asked, looking at him around Rey. Kylo just shook his head.

“Well what did you grow up playing?” Rey asked, wondering now exactly how much his parents had sheltered him beyond simply not giving him any sort of friendships to form with other kids.

“I had a bop-it and that simon says game.” Rey and her roommates waited for him to say more, but that was the end of his sentence. That was it. They all turned to glance at each other. Dear god, this guy was much different than they had even imagined. This guy couldn’t kill any of them if he tried, despite his bulk, they would go so feral against him he would run scared all the way home. Poe and Finn seemed to be realizing why Rey hung out with him, he literally had no one else otherwise. He was like a wounded bird she’d taken in to nurse back to health, and he clearly needed help.

“Anywayyyy, let’s play,” Poe said, turning his attention back to the game at hand. Rey took Kylo’s controller and told him he could watch them go a couple rounds before he tried playing, if he wanted to. He sat with his legs crossed on the couch and his hands folded in his lap, staring intently at the T.V. as the match started. Rey dominated, as usual, but Finn and Poe were putting up a good fight against her. It was quickly obvious that this was a two-against-one situation, which Rey could handle easily.

As she was knocked off the platform, bringing her down to 2 stock, she smiled. “Guys, you do realize if you get me out first you’re going to have to fight each other. Think of the detriment to your relationship if one of you beats the other. I don’t think either of you could truly recover.”

“I’m sure Poe can accept defeat like a champ,” Finn said confidently. The only times he really was confident was when he could lose himself in whatever he was doing and he didn’t have to think about anything happening in the world at large.

Poe scoffed, “dream on babe. I’ll make you a cake to say sorry, but I won’t take losing to Mario, ever. I’ll fight it until my last dying breath.”

Kylo’s attention was pulled from the television as he instead watched Rey’s hands on the controller. Not quite unlike a bop-it, smash was just about knowing the right button combos to save yourself and make your opponents fall. But to someone who had probably never played a video game before, it definitely looked complicated. Kylo’s unsure feeling was passing over to Rey, so she nudged him. “Hey, focus on the game here, otherwise I’m toast.” She glanced at him for a moment, and he remembered their connection, looking back to the match at hand. A couple minutes later and Rey was victorious over her foes, like usual. She held her hands up in victory as she cheered for herself. Poe and Finn sighed but did give her a couple half-hearted applause. BB came out to see who won, and Rey invited him over to play, since Kylo wasn’t very inclined to. Despite that, he was having a good time, Rey could tell, being in an environment where he wasn’t the focus and could just exist around this good feeling seemed to be brightening his spirits every second. And it was definitely helping to fuel Rey’s need to win.

BB settled in front of Rey on the floor and selected Mr. Game and Watch, which made Poe tense. Because BB always found the right moment to KO Poe, and it was always the most satisfying thing in the world. They began another match, this time with all items on and a moving stage, upping their stock to 6 to let it go on longer. It was immediate chaos, things being thrown everywhere, BB grabbing every bat or flame sword that dropped before anyone else had even noticed. Poe getting dragoon and the final smash and supremely missing both of them. This was what Rey had to look forward to every day. This was how she balanced all the complicated stuff in her life, with breaks like this. This was something Kylo never had. And that made Rey falter for a moment. Even without the trauma he had endured at his uncle’s hands, his life was still one of confinement and isolation. He had his parents, but they kept him so sheltered that he’d probably dismissed them or been dismissed by them too many times to count. And the cult definitely didn’t help. He needed this as much as Rey did, but he wasn’t truly able to enjoy it because of his lack of experience. So, to help him, Rey purposefully killed her character, and spent the rest of the match just telling him about the strategies, the little tidbits about the level, and explaining the characters in the game. Just to give him something to hold onto once this was over.

Rey had also kept her word, looking at the clock and seeing the sun setting right on time. “Did you drive here?” Rey asked him.

He shook his head, “I live close enough to walk.”

“Well, it’s getting dark. Let me drive you home.”

“No, it’s fine-”

“Then let me walk with you. You know where I live, it’s only fair I know where you are too.”

He chuckled the slightest bit. “Alright.” And they stood, leaving her roommates to fight it out some more through the medium of Nintendo. Rey didn’t grab a jacket, figuring if it's close enough to walk she would be fine. But the second they stepped outside a wind blew across them and Rey shivered. Kylo noticed, probably because he could feel it too, and so without saying anything he ever so slowly moved his arm around her shoulder, giving her some of his incredible warmth. They had never been this close, so Rey hadn’t noticed it, but he gave off a lot of heat. And it was pretty nice, so she didn’t say anything and accepted it, continuing to walk with him.

“I didn’t realize the extent of your isolation before. I should have figured you probably didn’t grow up with video games or friends to play them with. Sorry you couldn’t play with us.”

“I didn’t mind. It was cool to watch anyway. Maybe if I practiced I could be ok at it, but I swear my brain isn’t developed enough for fast-paced things like that. But even when I just had a couple of things to play with as a kid, I cherished all of them.”

“What was your highest score on the bop-it?”

“The counter only goes so high, but I could play it for hours. So many hours…” A pause as he seemed to drift away somewhere in his mind. “6409, then the shouting bit stopped working.”

“A tragedy to endure I’m sure.”

“Yeah.” They walked in silence for a bit, his arm still around her. And then they turned the corner onto a little house by itself next to an apartment building. “This is me.”

“I didn't expect such a tiny house for such a big guy if I’m being honest.”

He shrugged, “well, I did inherit a good amount of money when my parents died, but I wasn’t allowed to spend any of it while I’m in protection, in case my uncle could somehow track it. They send me like a monthly budget and then I just have to make do.”

“Funny, the same thing happens to me, except I have to work for it first.” He nodded, but his mood had suddenly soured the moment they got to his place. Rey looked up at him, “are you alright?”

He removed his arm from her, “um, yeah, I’m fine.”

She crossed her arms, “Kylo, I can feel what you feel. You don’t feel alright. Do you want to talk about it?”

He looked around at the empty dark street around them. “No, not here.”

“Well then…can I come inside?”

He looked over to the house then back to her. A big part of him didn’t want to, but a steadily growing smaller part did. And with every second he didn’t answer, the smaller part got louder. “Ok.”

They walked up the little walkway and up the couple steps as he unlocked the door, letting them both into the darkness. He turned on a couple lights and closed every curtain in the house, after checking the window locks. Rey felt that he did this every night. Once the house was secure he came back and settled on the small sofa tucked in the living room’s corner. Once settled he gestured for Rey to sit next to him, she did. “What’s wrong?” She asked, looking up at him in the dim cool lighting.

“How soon is too soon to say you love someone?”

Okay, that was very far from what Rey expected him to say. “Um, I guess it depends? What do you think is too soon?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been in love before. But the first day you meet them might be too soon, even though that’s when you felt love for the first time.”

“Are you saying you fell in love with me at first sight?”

A slight flush traced across Kylo’s cheeks, but he chuckled. “What makes you think I’m talking about you?”

Her expression melted into being so done with him. “Kylo, I’m literally your only friend. Obviously you’re talking about me.”

He nodded. “That you are.” But he put his face in his hands. “But you’re more than that.” His hands ran through his hair, pushing everything out of his face as he looked over towards her. “You’re the only reason I get up in the morning and don’t think about killing myself anymore. You’re the only reason my heart keeps beating. I know we’ve only gotten closer a little bit ago, but I swear, seeing you in my dreams, it was already over that first day. When I felt your presence, the curiosity coming from you, it was the first time I had been there that the emotion I was feeling was anything but an unending void of sadness. It startled me, reminded me I’m actually capable of more. Capable of happiness again. Every time you pestered me in class with your little psychic blasts, it jolted me not because it hurt, but because it reminded me you were there. Even when we’re apart I can always feel you. And I’ve come to crave that feeling like a drug. I just, I don’t know who I would be without you anymore. You’ve given me life I didn’t know I’d lost, on top of the loss I did know.” His eyes were getting teary as he pretty much bared his soul to her. She might think a sudden confession like this would be creepy, overdone, but, being able to feel him, Rey could tell every word he said was genuine. He meant each word as it left him, and the meaning behind it was so inviting. This man would fight for her, he would do anything for her, and he would continue to live for her. He smiled, knowing she was feeling just as deeply as he was. “Rey, my heart hasn’t beaten for me in weeks. It only beats for you.”

Rey had never heard anything more beautifully spoken than that. And she knew, there was no going back from this. What she would do next would make everything real. She moved towards him, getting into his lap and settling her arms around his neck. His hands settled on her waist as he looked into her eyes, the slightest bit of hesitance holding him back from doing anything but waiting for her to decide. She leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together, and that simple motion made Kylo’s heart beat faster, Rey could almost hear it thundering against his chest. They stayed there for a moment, breathing in time with each other, and then Rey leaned down towards him. Their lips pressed together, and almost immediately his hands clenched her waist tighter. Rey could feel the desperation oozing from his very being. And she could feel that his actions weren’t because he wanted this. It was because he absolutely needed this. And so, Rey pulled her arms tighter around his neck, to make sure he got all that he needed in this moment.

For a few minutes, they were slow and meticulous with each other, neither wanting to move faster. They wanted to feel and truly absorb each moment their lips were tangled against each other. All was peaceful. Finally Rey pulled back, as Kylo had begun to trace along her back. “I know this was only our first date technically, but if it’s ok with you, I want to take this whole thing slow. I haven’t really been in a romantic relationship as an adult and I just… think this needs more time before I’m ready to go further.”

His hands settled back at her waist, gripping it loosely, trying to not make her uncomfortable. “Ok.” There was a pause as he wanted to say something else but stopped himself. Rey didn’t even need to ask this time, simply raising an eyebrow as she waited for him to confess. “That was my first kiss, so I think I’d also like to take this slow.”

She leaned her head onto his shoulder, talking into his neck. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

“I don’t think anyone's ever referred to me as that, so another first. I’m going through a lot of those tonight.” She laughed into his shoulder. Oh god, maybe she loved him already, like he with her. But she wasn’t ready to admit that or really look deeper. Tonight, she appreciated him, maybe tomorrow she would admit more. “Do you…want to stay the night?”

She came back up, looking down at him as he watched her. She pursed her lips, weighing her options. A spooky nighttime walk back, or staying the night in this little home with her maybe boyfriend? Were they dating? Ah well, labels could be a tomorrow thing. “Alright. I’ll call Finn and let him know not to wait up for me.”

He nodded as she got off him, pulling out her phone and called Finn, who got very worried. She assured him she would be fine, and she gave them the address. She also turned on find-a-friend to truly quell his worries. She hung up and found Kylo had disappeared. She went down the slim hallway and found him in the bedroom, pulling out an extra pair of pyjamas and handing them to her. Considering he was half a head taller than her usually, she figured these wouldn’t fit quite right. He had already changed and settled on the bed, turning on a small device next to the side of the bed he seemed to prefer. Rey went into the washroom and changed, finding the pants did not fit, but the shirt was long enough that she figured he wouldn’t mind. They had made the boundaries clear, this would be a sleeping together but not sleeping together arrangement, at least for tonight. In the future, who knows?

She came out and Kylo almost averted his eyes embarrassingly. He wasn’t ready for her to come out in her underwear and just his shirt. Rey climbed into the bed and settled down on the pillow, letting her hair out of its buns, fluffing it out on the pillow. He laid down and reached for the light to turn it off. “Sleep well,” he said as he turned the light off, leaving them in almost complete darkness. The tiny device near him was letting off a faint light as it sprayed something into the room.

“What is that?” Rey asked.

“A diffuser, to help me sleep. It lets off the smell of lavender, which is supposed to help you get to sleep. Without it I don’t know if I could sleep at all. It helps keep the nightmares away, at least a little bit.”

“Does it help you get to your dream place? Because now that you mention it, I feel like whenever I was there I could smell a faint hint of lavender.”

A little laugh from his side of the bed. “Maybe. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed the smell in there.”

“Hmm. You think we’ll go there tonight?”

“If we’re this close, hopefully. I like it better when you’re there. Otherwise it’s just me crying a bigger lake.”

Rey moved a hand onto him, just to make sure she heard him right and this was all real. “I’m sorry, that lake is made up of your tears?”

“Yeah. I’ve had a lot of time to grieve, but it’s never enough. In there, all I have is the conscious knowing of what’s happened and the unexplainable feeling of dread at what’s to come.” Well, that was very sad. Rey kept her hand on his chest, and she felt his slowly reach up and take it, pressing them against his still quick beating heart. And as they both fell into synchronized breathing, Rey let the lavender and his heartbeat lull her to sleep.

Chapter Text

Rey awoke to find herself next to Kylo, in the dream space. It seems he awoke on the rock, and she was there instead of her usual waking spot. Distance did matter then, in here. However big this place was, there was a vague real world position equal to it. They didn’t speak to each other at first, simply sat next to each other and felt each other’s presence, calming them both. Then Kylo showed Rey how to throw rocks across the lake, since it was something he used to do in his childhood down at a lake behind his house. Everything was right, he was smiling, and Rey was smiling, and everything was blissful. But as Kylo wound up another throw, it was all ruined by a voice in the distance.

“Ben…” A laugh accompanied it, echoing in the nothingness beyond them. Kylo dropped the rock and picked Rey up, leaping down from the rock and setting her down, but not letting go of her hand.

“No… Go away…” Kylo spit out, any and all confidence that had built up crumbling within him as he tried in vain to find the disembodied voice. His scar wasn’t gushing blood, but at the voice’s echo, it had appeared on his face and begun to drip like sap from a tree. A drop here, another there, nothing falling, but the seams ripping.

“It’s alright Kylo, I’m here,” Rey said, reaching her free hand out to trace up and down his arm, an attempt at a soothing motion.

“That’s the problem,” was his response.

The echoing laugh was closer now, Kylo’s head shooting in all different directions as he took a step back, then another, trying to tuck Rey behind him. “Oh Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben no more,” no echo, the voice was solid. Nearby. And right before it happened, they could feel it, looking at each other with deep worry. There was another person here.

Something reflective pierced through Kylo’s abdomen, and whoever had used their strength to raise him into the air, like he was meat on a skewer. He lost his grip on Rey’s hand as she fell away to the ground. “Kylo? You could have picked anything, and yet you go with Kylo? HAH!” As Rey watched on in horror, Luke, the man from Kylo’s memories, stood before her, using his metal hand to hold up the weapon that held Kylo with it. As soon as he had been pierced he screamed in pain, deep and resonating. His pain was only a distraction though, the fear that coursed through him made Rey utterly unable to move. She could only watch as he twitched on the skewer, his hands hovering around the growing wound, his scar bleeding almost as intensely as his midsection. And below him, dripping with his nephew’s freshly flowing blood, was Luke, looking as deranged as he was back then. “Oh, I’ve finally found you, and it turns out all I needed was a bridge.” He glanced down at Rey, a growing smile on his face as his eyes seemed to pierce her to her very soul. “Much obliged miss.”

“Leave her alone!” Kylo spit out, clenching his teeth as the action of speaking seemed to make his pain worse.

“Oh Ben, I don’t think you understand. You’ve brought her into this, just like you brought your parents in. Everyone you love will die, it’s the least I can do to balance the force after you utterly ruined it. But don’t worry, her end will be quick.” He finally let Kylo down, throwing the sword in just the right way to heave Kylo off of it and to the ground. Rey went to him and only had the time to hold up her hand in defense as Luke swung it, but it missed her entirely. He wasn’t aiming for her, he was aiming for his nephew, in the spot where his scar now stood. “See you soon.” And as the sword collided with him, Rey was pulled violently awake, as next to her Kylo woke up screaming bloody murder.

He immediately got out of bed, clutching his scar as he ran into the washroom. Rey tried to chase after him but he locked the door. So, she focused on seeing him through the door. His shirt was off and there was a small but still bleeding wound where Luke had stabbed him. “Kylo, it’s coming out the back as well. Let me help.” He glanced at her through the door for a moment, his scar bleeding slowly but steadily. Then he nodded a little, opening the door for her as she got to work patching up his new wound. He bandaged his old wound, and a few minutes later everything was solved, for the moment. Rey ran her hands around his arms, trying to bring him down from the anxiety attack he was having. "Everything's ok. It’s over. He can’t get you now.”

But when he turned to her, his eyes almost looking right through her, she felt a deep drop in her stomach. The amount of fear he was unconsciously instilling in her made her short of breath. “Rey, he knows who I am and where I am. We need to leave. Now.”

“What?”

He stood, putting his bloody sleeping shirt back on and heading into the bedroom, handing her a pair of pants to put on. “We have to leave town, at least until I can get re-settled somewhere else. I can’t let him get you. We have to leave before he gets to town.”

“But are we sure he’s that close?”

“Rey, we fell asleep next to each other and woke up next to each other. He is far, but he closed the distance in the dream. He’s closing in. We don’t have time to debate how far or close he is, because we know he’s close. Now we have to go. Please, come with me, I need to save you from him. I don’t know what I would do if I got you killed. I can’t let it happen.” She heard him, could feel his panic, but she was still unsure. What about her brother? She couldn’t really just leave him in the hands of Finn and Poe like that. “Rey, we can’t take him with us, uncle Luke doesn’t know about him, and it’ll be safer that way.” He had his schoolbag on, which Rey finally realized was the explanation for his having a locker. The bookbag was a go-bag, in case he needed to leave quickly with only the essentials. “Rey, we have to go now.” He held out his hand, wishing she would take it, but not forcing her to go with him. He was focusing on keeping it from shaking, trying to hold his resolve together. He needed to be strong, and she was his rock in this unstable world he lived in. Rey felt a pang for her friends and family, but she knew he was right. So she put on the pants he gave her and grabbed his hand, as they rushed from the house and into his car. The witness protection people had given him a small truck, which didn’t seem like much. But as Kylo turned it on, the engine sound indicated that this vehicle had been fixed up very nicely, and its appearance was meant to be bland and blended into the other cars. But this truck she already knew could go very fast very quickly.

And Kylo wasted no time, pulling out of the driveway and taking off in the fastest direction out of town. His hands gripped the wheel with white knuckles, his eyes unblinking, everything he feared coming true. His uncle had found him, escaped jail somehow, and was continuing what he hadn’t finished years ago. But in his focus, his fight or flight, it was distracting him from feeling any of his emotions. He was locked-in on the task ahead, and his focus was on that instead. “The next closest town that I would consider big enough to blend into but not big enough to be a city, is about a 9 hour drive. You can go back to sleep if you want, I’ll wake you when we’re there.”

She reached a hand over to place on his shoulder, knowing that anytime she touched him it gave him that much more calmness. “No, I’ll stay up with you. It’s the least I can do to support you right now. We’re in this together now.”

He glanced at her for a moment, a tiny smile forcing its way through the fear, and they both looked out to the dark road ahead, approaching the edge of town. There was a highway that ran adjacent to them, and all they needed to do was pass this small stretch of dark road and forest, and they would be home free. As they made their way forward however, they were caught off-guard by a semi-truck coming the other way. It wasn’t hauling anything from the look of it, just the front on its own, but its lights and high beams were on, flashing the occupants of the small truck with bright lights. Rey held up a hand to try and shield her eyes, Kylo doing the same thing. But then his eyes widened as they got closer. “...Uncle Luke?”

At the last second the truck swerved at them going full force, crashing their small truck off the road. Time seemed to slow as the deafening sound of scraping metal against metal rang out. Their truck was pushed hard to the side, not a head on hit, and it began to roll. Rey felt Kylo’s arm push strongly against her, keeping her flat against the seat as the airbags deployed. The windows all shattered, pieces of glass piercing them in small cuts in every which direction. They rolled and rolled, at least it felt that way, until finally the truck settled upside down on the side of the road, their lights still on, illuminating the glimpses of lights from the highway off in the distance. Rey blinked several times, to bring her focus back, her body wanting to just pass out. But she needed to be conscious, at least until she could free herself. Her hands reached for the seatbelt release as next to her Kylo fell, his belt being cut. And then a hand reached in, grabbing deep into Kylo’s hair, dragging him from the truck.

“Kylo!” She yelled, her hands working faster to free her. Luke dragged him in front of the truck, in the lights, as they found themselves in a position that seemed all too familiar to Kylo. It was like the first time, the light of the truck reflecting off the knife as Luke tried to drive it into his heart. But Kylo was stronger than the last time he faced off with him. He managed to grab his wrist, keeping the knife from piercing him, but their hands were shaking, both fighting for the upper hand. Rey finally managed to get herself down, awkwardly hitting the roof of the truck, and she maneuvered her legs out. She needed to help him, and fast. She looked around at her surroundings and found exactly what she needed, a tire iron. That would work.

“Just accept it Ben, you and I both know this needs to happen. Your existence throws the force out of whack. I need to balance it, and doing so means making sacrifices. You’re the reason your parents are dead, don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

“You're a lunatic and your religion is shit! My parents didn’t deserve to die and neither do I!”

He chuckled, “my sister and brother in law were some of my best friends. But they got in the way of destiny, and there are a lot of unjust casualties in war. They were two of them. It wasn’t their fault they had you, you just happen to ruin everything you touch. And so, you lose everything you love.”

Rey was sick of this shit, Luke was getting a couple cuts in, not quite enough to kill, but some of them were bleeding quite heavily. She approached, clutching her side as her body’s adrenaline worked wonders, pushing the pain away so she could focus entirely on helping her boyfriend. Luke was so deep in his insane ramblings he didn’t even notice her approach. But Kylo did, and he purposefully loosened his grip just enough for Luke to get another jab in, this one slightly deeper, giving him undeserved confidence. Keeping his attention away from Rey. And when she was close enough, she held up the tire iron, and promptly swung it with all her might, hitting him hard in the back of the head, making him fall to the ground. Kylo scrambled away as Rey didn’t take any chances, hitting him a second time. And a third. His head was now dented, with blood oozing out onto the grass, its red colour distinct in the headlight’s beam.

Then it seemed that all of the adrenaline in her body was used up, as she dropped the tire iron and collapsed to the ground, Kylo barely catching her so she didn’t hit her own head. “Rey? Stay with me Rey.”

She tried to keep her eyes open, but her body was heavy, and she was definitely bleeding in a few spots. But Kylo’s feelings in her body were doing some heavy lifting right now. He was focusing all his energy on keeping her conscious, lest she succumb to something before an ambulance showed up. They could hear it in the distance, the siren getting louder every second. “Come on Rey, don’t leave me. I don’t know what I would do if you were gone. I can’t go on without you. Please stay.”

The lights were flashing on the edge of her vision, as her eyes closed, her body’s breathing slowing down considerably in seconds. Then she felt pressure on her, Kylo was giving her CPR. ‘Please, please, please hold on. Don’t do this to me Rey. Please.’ More pleading in her head as other voices mumbled in the far distance. And as her body was shuffled around, she succumbed, fully losing consciousness as the sirens got overbearingly loud.

…

Rey awoke suddenly, almost gasping for air as her body jolted awake. Which she immediately regretted, as the pain of the car crash hit her just as fast as the first time it happened. She groaned, laying back down in the hospital bed. “Rey!” She opened her eyes again to see Finn, who’d been sitting next to her bed, presumably asleep until her dramatic awakening. “Hold on, I’ll get the doctor, and your brother. And Poe, Poe’s here too.” He darted from the room, and Rey turned her head, gasping again, but not from pain this time.

In the bed next to her was Kylo, but he seemed in a much worse state than her. What she could see were a lot of spots where he was bandaged, and they seemed to have him on a breathing tube or something. She didn’t realize Luke and the crash had done so much damage to him. But underneath all of that, she could feel…a deep sadness emanating from his body. It was strange.

The doctor came in, along with her friends and family. The Doctor explained that Kylo was in a medically-induced coma so his injuries could heal faster, since his body being used to this kind of trauma might make his immune system weaker if he awoke and saw the state of himself. They also informed her that she had killed Luke, and his past actions and connection to Kylo made the police rightly rule this as self-defense. But just in case, his witness protection agent and police would be outside their room around the clock in case anyone else in the cult came for them. After the doctor left and Rey got plenty of hugs from her group, they had to leave her to rest. And rest she intended to do. Hopefully he was dreaming in that coma, because Rey had to talk to him. Tell him it was over, at least for now. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, finding the meds they gave her working very well, as she promptly went into a deep sleep.

As she opened her eyes, she noticed something was very different about the dream void. It was a lot darker than it had been, and it was very hard to see anything. But it wasn’t hard to feel. Rey was laying in water, she stood and it went above her ankles. She wasn’t close to the lake or the rock, and yet it seemed that the water in the entire place was now deep enough to reach up to her ankles. That was very odd. Something was very wrong here.

She started off in a direction, not really sure if it was the right way, but feeling that there was a pull this way. And then she realized why. She could hear crying. Sobbing really, loud and unapologetic, like a child having a tantrum. She picked up the pace, and then she found him. He was sitting on the one landmark in this place, the rock, and he was crying so many tears, an unending drip of them from his eyes, down his body, and from the rock into the mix of water everywhere. Rey had to wonder how long he had been here crying to fill this much, considering the large lake was for his parents, then these tears might all be for her.

She climbed up the rock but stopped before reaching out, because he was muttering something between all his tears. “It’s all my fault. She’s dead because of me. And I’ll never see her again. Uncle Luke was right, I’m a monster. And now I’m stuck here forever.”

Rey couldn’t stand that he had come to this conclusion. He didn’t know where he really was, what was happening. Oh, this poor traumatized boy. Rey reached forward, grabbing onto him, calling out, “Ben.”

He gasped as he felt her arms around him, clearly so wrapped up in his grief and pain that he hadn’t even sensed her nearby. He turned and practically buried himself into her neck, pulling her into a crushing hug, the tears intensifying. “Rey,” he called her name with such longing, Rey’s heart was about to melt. She clutched him just as tightly, trying her best to ground him.

“You’re safe. We both are. I killed him. We’re at the hospital, we're going to be ok.” She just spit the words out, not feeling the need to elaborate, because he could hear her thoughts already. He could see the truth. “Ben, you’re alive, and you’re free.”

He looked up at her, arms still wrapped around her, and he smiled through the tears. They didn’t seem to be stopping, but she was pretty sure they were happy tears now. And his scar was present. He wasn’t stuck here reliving the past anymore, it was just him as he was, existing in this place with her. This place where it was just the two of them, and the rest of the universe was shut out. This was once his place of grief, but now it was their safe space. Nothing could hurt them here. And as they shared a glance of the purest happiness, the scene around them began to brighten, a sign of hope. Hope for their future. A future they would see together. And to celebrate, Ben reached up and traced a hand over Rey’s face, pulling her gently into a kiss. The first kiss to mark forever.

The end :)

Chapter Text

Rey awoke to find herself next to Kylo, in the dream space. It seems he awoke on the rock, and she was there instead of her usual waking spot. Distance did matter then, in here. However big this place was, there was a vague real world position equal to it. They didn’t speak to each other at first, simply sat next to each other and felt each other’s presence, calming them both. Then Kylo showed Rey how to throw rocks across the lake, since it was something he used to do in his childhood down at a lake behind his house. Everything was right, he was smiling, and Rey was smiling, and everything was blissful. But as Kylo wound up another throw, it was all ruined by a voice in the distance.

“Ben…” A laugh accompanied it, echoing in the nothingness beyond them. Kylo dropped the rock and picked Rey up, leaping down from the rock and setting her down, but not letting go of her hand.

“No… Go away…” Kylo spit out any and all confidence that had built up crumbling within him as he tried in vain to find the disembodied voice. His scar wasn’t gushing blood, but at the voice’s echo, it had appeared on his face and begun to drip like sap from a tree. A drop here, another there, nothing falling, but the seams ripping.

“It’s alright Kylo, I’m here,” Rey said, reaching her free hand out to trace up and down his arm, an attempt at a soothing motion.

“That’s the problem,” was his response.

The echoing laugh was closer now, Kylo’s head shooting in all different directions as he took a step back, then another, trying to tuck Rey behind him. “Oh Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben no more,” no echo, the voice was solid. Nearby. And right before it happened, they could feel it, looking at each other with deep worry. There was another person here.

Something reflective pierced through Kylo’s abdomen, and whoever had used their strength to raise him into the air, like he was meat on a skewer. He lost his grip on Rey’s hand as she fell away to the ground. “Kylo? You could have picked anything, and yet you go with Kylo? HAH!” As Rey watched on in horror, Luke, the man from Kylo’s memories, stood before her, using his metal hand to hold up the weapon that held Kylo with it. As soon as he had been pierced he screamed in pain, deep and resonating. His pain was only a distraction though, the fear that coursed through him made Rey utterly unable to move. She could only watch as he twitched on the skewer, his hands hovering around the growing wound, his scar bleeding almost as intensely as his midsection. And below him, dripping with his nephew’s freshly flowing blood, was Luke, looking as deranged as he was back then. “Oh, I’ve finally found you, and it turns out all I needed was a bridge.” He glanced down at Rey, a growing smile on his face as his eyes seemed to pierce her to her very soul. “Much obliged miss.”

“Leave her alone!” Kylo spit out, clenching his teeth as the action of speaking seemed to make his pain worse.

“Oh Ben, I don’t think you understand. You’ve brought her into this, just like you brought your parents in. Everyone you love will die, it’s the least I can do to balance the force after you utterly ruined it. But don’t worry, her end will be quick.” He finally let Kylo down, throwing the sword in just the right way to heave Kylo off of it and to the ground. Rey went to him and only had the time to hold up her hand in defense as Luke swung it, but it missed her entirely. He wasn’t aiming for her, he was aiming for his nephew, in the spot where his scar now stood. “See you soon.” And as the sword collided with him, Rey was pulled violently awake, as next to her Kylo woke up screaming bloody murder.

He immediately got out of bed, clutching his scar as he ran into the washroom. Rey tried to chase after him but he locked the door. So, she focused on seeing him through the door. His shirt was off and there was a small but still bleeding wound where Luke had stabbed him. “Kylo, it’s coming out the back as well. Let me help.” He glanced at her through the door for a moment, his scar bleeding slowly but steadily. Then he nodded a little, opening the door for her as she got to work patching up his new wound. He bandaged his old wound, and a few minutes later everything was solved, for the moment. Rey ran her hands around his arms, trying to bring him down from the anxiety attack he was having. "Everything's ok. It’s over. He can’t get you now.”

But when he turned to her, his eyes almost looking right through her, she felt a deep drop in her stomach. The amount of fear he was unconsciously instilling in her made her short of breath. “Rey, he knows who I am and where I am. We need to leave. Now.”

“What?”

He stood, putting his bloody sleeping shirt back on and heading into the bedroom, handing her a pair of pants to put on. “We have to leave town, at least until I can get re-settled somewhere else. I can’t let him get you. We have to leave before he gets to town.”

“But are we sure he’s that close?”

“Rey, we fell asleep next to each other and woke up next to each other. He is far, but he closed the distance in the dream. He’s closing in. We don’t have time to debate how far or close he is, because we know he’s close. Now we have to go. Please, come with me, I need to save you from him. I don’t know what I would do if I got you killed. I can’t let it happen.” She heard him, could feel his panic, but she was still unsure. What about her brother? She couldn’t really just leave him in the hands of Finn and Poe like that. “Rey, we can’t take him with us, uncle Luke doesn’t know about him, and it’ll be safer that way.” He had his schoolbag on, which Rey finally realized was the explanation for his having a locker. The bookbag was a go-bag, in case he needed to leave quickly with only the essentials. “Rey, we have to go now.” He held out his hand, wishing she would take it, but not forcing her to go with him. He was focusing on keeping it from shaking, trying to hold his resolve together. He needed to be strong, and she was his rock in this unstable world he lived in. Rey felt a pang for her friends and family, but she knew he was right. So she put on the pants he gave her and grabbed his hand, as they rushed from the house and into his car. The witness protection people had given him a small truck, which didn’t seem like much. But as Kylo turned it on, the engine sound indicated that this vehicle had been fixed up very nicely, and its appearance was meant to be bland and blended into the other cars. But this truck she already knew could go very fast very quickly.

And Kylo wasted no time, pulling out of the driveway and taking off in the fastest direction out of town. His hands gripped the wheel with white knuckles, his eyes unblinking, everything he feared coming true. His uncle had found him, escaped jail somehow, and was continuing what he hadn’t finished years ago. But in his focus, his fight or flight, it was distracting him from feeling any of his emotions. He was locked-in on the task ahead, and his focus was on that instead. “The next closest town that I would consider big enough to blend into but not big enough to be a city, is about a 9 hour drive. You can go back to sleep if you want, I’ll wake you when we’re there.”

She reached a hand over to place on his shoulder, knowing that anytime she touched him it gave him that much more calmness. “No, I’ll stay up with you. It’s the least I can do to support you right now. We’re in this together now.”

He glanced at her for a moment, a tiny smile forcing its way through the fear, and they both looked out to the dark road ahead, approaching the edge of town. There was a highway that ran adjacent to them, and all they needed to do was pass this small stretch of dark road and forest, and they would be home free. As they made their way forward however, they were caught off-guard by a semi-truck coming the other way. It wasn’t hauling anything from the look of it, just the front on its own, but its lights and high beams were on, flashing the occupants of the small truck with bright lights. Rey held up a hand to try and shield her eyes, Kylo doing the same thing. But then his eyes widened as they got closer. “...Uncle Luke?”

At the last second the truck swerved at them going full force, crashing their small truck off the road. Time seemed to slow as the deafening sound of scraping metal against metal rang out. Their truck was pushed hard to the side, not a head on hit, and it began to roll. Rey felt Kylo’s arm push strongly against her, keeping her flat against the seat as the airbags deployed. The windows all shattered, pieces of glass piercing them in small cuts in every which direction. They rolled and rolled, at least it felt that way, until finally the truck settled upside down on the side of the road, their lights still on, illuminating the glimpses of lights from the highway off in the distance. Rey groaned as she tried to reach for the seatbelt, blood rushing to her head. Kylo’s had been cut, and he fell onto the now grounded roof of the truck. But he didn’t have much time to get his bearings, because a pair of hands reached inside and grabbed him by his hair, dragging him from the truck and in front of it. Luke pulled him further as Rey scrambled to get her seatbelt.

“No! Let go of him!” She shouted, her hands scrambling to free her.

“Wait your turn!” Luke shouted back, pushing Kylo to the ground and pulling out a knife. He tried to stab him, but Kylo was stronger than he was the last time he’d met with his uncle. He grabbed onto Luke’s wrist and they rolled back and forth a bit, neither gaining much of an upper hand. Rey finally freed herself, hitting the roof awkwardly as her body succumbed to gravity. She had a strange distant pain in her chest, probably her heart rattling against her ribs from the force of it all, but she ignored it. She had to get to Kylo, help him.

“Stop fighting! Accept your fate like a man!” Luke shouted, as he pushed the knife slightly closer to his neck.

“My fate is what I decide, not you!” His hand gripped tighter to his uncle’s wrist, forcing him back a bit.

“Kylo,” Rey called out, but it was quiet. She tried to get up, but her head swam with a blurriness each time she tried, leaving her on her hands and knees, dazed.

“This is getting nowhere,” Luke mumbled. So he pivoted his attack, hitting Kylo in the side of the head with a rock and getting off of him as his own head swam with dizziness. “Ladies first it is.” He stood and began to make his way over to Rey, who tried to drag herself back, but he was quickly approaching, knife twisting in his hand.

“Get away from her!” Suddenly Kylo was up, grabbing his uncle’s waist and flinging him towards the overturned truck, smashing his head against one of the lights, putting it out as he threw his uncle to the ground and began an onslaught of punches to his face and chest. Rey couldn’t see them from where she was, her vision swimming with little dots. She laid down fully, trying to focus on her breathing. It was getting harder to breathe, and she didn’t know why. In the distance sirens could be heard fast approaching. And then Kylo was in her vision, looking at her through the dots.

“Rey, oh god…” He looked down at her, seeing a wound she didn’t feel, the adrenaline in her body still working to keep her conscious. “Rey, stay with me, focus, don’t sleep, not now. Now’s the time to stay awake.” He held one hand to her cheek, rubbing his thumb across it, getting her to focus on the sensation. Most of her body felt numb, but his touch was helping her.

The lights appeared against the trees, flashing red and blue and white. Another person appeared behind them, out of her vision. “Paramedics!”

“Over here!” He called out, and a couple more people appeared in her vision. Rey was struggling to keep her eyes open. One of them was trying to talk to her, but she couldn’t hear them, they were far away. Everything felt far away from her.

“What happened?”

“My uncle stole that truck, crashed it into us, and tried to kill us. You have to help her.”

“Sir, you’re bleeding-”

A swat of someone’s hand. “Don’t touch me, I don’t matter. Help her. Here, take these.” A rustling of something from his pocket, some kind of paper was handed off. “Whatever you have to do, save her.”

Rey was being lifted onto something, she was approaching the flashing lights. They were saying something was pierced, and something about her chest area. Kylo tried to get in with her but was stopped, forced to ride in the other ambulance, forced to separate from her. The last thing she heard before her body succumbed to unconsciousness was Kylo in her head. ‘Please hold on.'

…

She woke up suddenly and aggressively, her heart racing. And instantly she regretted her body doing that, because she was overwhelmed with pain, laying back down on the bed as she held back a scream. She grit her teeth as it passed down from a 10 to a 7, at least letting her roughly breathe through it. But each breath hurt. She looked next to her and saw Finn, who she’d just startled awake. He stood, coming closer to her bedside. “Rey, oh my god, are you alright?”

“Where’s Kylo?” She asked him.

His face got a strange expression on it. “You were in a car accident, you nearly died, are you in pain?”

“Where. Is. Kylo?”

“I’ll get the doctor.” Finn turned and quickly rushed from the room, leaving her alone. She looked around, she was definitely at the local hospital. They’d been here last when BB needed his tonsils removed. It was a very sterile place, devoid of soul but clean. Comforting but cold. She was in the intensive care unit, thus why she had a room all to herself. She felt that something was off, but she couldn’t place her finger on it. She was still weary from whatever they had pumped into her to make her fall asleep. But they hadn’t given her any pain medication since she was asleep, thus all of it hitting her upon waking up.

A woman in a doctor’s uniform came in, with Finn, Poe, and BB in tow, all of them hanging back at the door. The doctor came close and leaned down to her level by the bed. “Rey? Hi there, I’m Doctor Mendoza. You and your friend were in a car accident, do you remember that?”

“Yes, where is he? No one will tell me where he is.”

The doctor held eye contact with her, but there was a flicker of something behind her eyes. She sighed, pulling up the chair Finn had been in and settling into it next to the bed. “Do you remember your injuries? The extent of them?”

“They said something about a piercing in my chest, but I didn’t feel anything.”

She nodded. “You had a piece of the front windshield pierce your heart in the crash, you were bleeding out. We almost lost you. But your friend, he was an organ donor, and he gave his permission for the paramedics to do whatever they had to in order to save your life.”

Rey didn’t understand. If Kylo was an organ donor, and her heart had been pierced… “But… they can’t do that. They can’t just take his heart out of his body. He has to be dead first, doesn’t he?” Maybe she was still asleep, in some kind of surgery, and she was in a warped dream.

“Rey, your friend was someone who also had a DNR on his person, which he presented to the paramedics beforehand. What that means is if he falls unconscious while they’re attempting to help him, they are legally not allowed to intervene, and whether he wakes up or doesn’t is in his hands alone. He told them to do whatever it took to save you, gave them express permission to take his organs and presented his DNR, became unconscious on the way to the hospital due to his injuries, and was dead on arrival. You were barely alive, but luckily a match for his heart. If those series of events had not happened, you would have passed away very quickly after arriving, but because of his sacrifice, he gave his life for yours. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your friend, but you’re alive because of him, which is what he wanted.”

Rey reached up, clutching her hospital gown tightly over her heart. She looked down slowly and saw it, the long-running scar up her chest where they operated. She closed her eyes and tried to feel for him. That was what’s wrong. She couldn’t feel him anywhere. Her heart picked up its pace, her stress and fear taking over. But, it wasn’t her heart, it was his. He couldn’t be felt in her mind, but she could feel him with each beat that pushed against her ribcage. Any pain she had been feeling physically went away, now all she felt was a crushing void of agony where her heart used to exist. The Doctor stood, seeing what was about to happen, and she ushered everyone out of the room, closing Rey in alone.

She screamed, or maybe wailed was the better word. If someone outside didn’t know any better, they might feel she was being tortured inside that room. She screamed until her throat was raw, tears endlessly flowing down her face. Her hands clenched too tightly against the hospital gown, threatening to rip it. Rey curled in on herself, her legs pressing against her arms, which pressed against her chest. Her heart, his heart, beat hard, its pulse being felt all over her bloodstream. The irony of it all, as his words replayed over and over through her mind. ‘You’re the only reason my heart keeps beating.’ ‘My heart hasn’t beaten for me in weeks. It only beats for you.’ And as she sat there, curled upon herself, inconsolable, she started to laugh. She started to laugh with the tears because he had been right all along. His heart only beat for her, and now it was entirely true.

End.