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Nico was locked up.
From his own doing. But still.
It's been a while since he's felt this restless.
And to be fair. He's been better. Ever since Gaea. Ever since he came out (on his own accord). Ever since Will was around him.
Gods, Will. He was the reason of so much good in his life.
Which made him feel even worse about what he was doing.
Locking himself up. Again.
Not telling anyone he felt bad. Again.
And distancing himself from everyone.
Again.
He didn't want to dissapoint Will.
So maybe that's why he was cooped up with his sheets and the clothes he hasnt changed in two days.
He tried stuff.
He tried journaling
-
Feeling a kind of acid in his stomach. Yet not actually but some sort of mental sourness. Something was bothering him. Something didn't seem right. He sighed pulling out a notebook Will gave him last week.
Journal if I cannot listen,
Your significant annoyance<3 W
Nico smiled at the message faintly and then opened to a blank page.
He tried writing down a few words. But hia sentences were too jumbled. Too many mistakes and I's and and's for it to actually help Nico gather his thoughts.
So he closed it. Shoved it into his closet and cried.
He cried because he was angry. He was tired. He was stressed.
Angry at himself.
Tired of the same cycles even if they now happened once a month and not daily like they used to.
Stressed Will would find out. That thw journaling didn't help.
The blond was already worrying way too much about the infirmary and Nico's health that was ever since decreasing because of his stress.
-
And when journaling turned out comepletely not helpful. He tried drawing. Hazel liked drawing and even gave him a few paints. But one thing that didn't go well with Nico... was anger and paint.
In half an hour he saw a canvas full or black and red lines that meant nothing to him. There was one creature (he tried portraying himself) but it just turned out like a shadow that didn't look friendly at all.
Nico sighed. Less angry at least.
More... Dissapointed.
-
Last he tried praying.
It sounded weird. He didn't pray since he was a kid with his mum. He has prayed to his father a total of twice with the wish to be saved or for himself to be saved. And that was it.
Yet this was different. He'd heard about religions and people finding solace in it. So... He tried.
He washed his hands and prayed to... Apollo
Maybe praiyng to his boyfriend's dad wasn't the.... Most comfortable situation he's been in. But it also wasn't too bad where it would result in him stopping.
He prayed for Will first. For him being happy and loved and hopefully being less worried in the future. And then he thanked Apollo for helping him heal as Will had sung hymns to him to help any sickness Nico had that month.
-
Praying did help. But only a small amount
He felt more peaceful about Will. And his fear of getting inevitably sick with some small infection fell exponentially.
But he still-
He felt lonely, okay.
He felt weird.
He had Will.
He even had other people in camp he felt good around. But he still had this nagging feeling of not belonging.
Which didn't help when he was isolating himself.
And as he was stuck in this endless loop of uncomfortability a faint knock was heard that made his heart drop.
No.
Not now.
Not any time soon.
"Neeks?" Wills voice sounded through and he frowned even more.
He cleared his throat and tried to lie.
"Sleeping!" he yelled back
"What? Neeks it's 3 pm what are you-" Will opened his door stopping as he saw Nico. Clearly unkempt. Clearly not feeling his best .
"Uhm-" Nico started but saw Will gently closing the door.
"Haven't seen you in a while." Will says so gently Nico could've sobbed right there if his heart wasnt beating as fast as it was at being 'caught'.
"Yeah.."
"May I sit?" Will asks
Nico nods softly. In his heart he knew he wanted Will here. He felt like a pathetic kid that hid but cried loudly for his parents to find him. To care. Which Will definitely did.
Will touches his forehead. "You don't have a fever, "
"I don't." Nico confirms.
"But you don't feel well."
"I'm sorry" Nico rushed out.
Will tilts his head gently interlacing their fingers.
"I didn't tell you. I avoided you." Nico confesses unsure why he was even saying it. Telling Will something that might hurt him.
Stupid. What was he thinking!
"Were you ashamed?"
Nico's eyes widen and he stops.
"That you're feeling bad, you know. I know you were really excited for feeling better for a while" Will says wiping a hot tear from his cheek.
Tear?
Nico pulls back a bit wiping his tears roughly.
Will frowns.
"What can I do?" Will asks. Because he knows Nico. If he'd ask what happened Nico would bolt and hide.
"Hug" Nico whispers and Will sits down next to him pulling him closer so his face is in his shoulder.
"I tried journaling," Nico starts.
Will nods.
"I couldn't get it out how I wanted. It sounded wrong, weird." Will nods again kissing his hair.
"Then I painted. It's horrendous" Nico laughs cause he couldn't even be mad at that.
"How so?"
"It's all- black and dim and blotchy and I look like the cookie monster if he were in a dark alley way" Will huffs amused at the discription.
"And then I prayed."
"You pray?" Will asks very surprised.
"Not normally. But I- I prayed to Apollo and I did feel better."
"To my dad? Sorry. Sorry, continue, "
"I prayed for you to be good. No, that sounded wrong like- For protection for you. For you to be happy and I thanked him for healing me when you hummed his hymns."
Will hugs him tighter. "That's really sweet."
"Im sorry- I haven't showered I probably am not the nicest person to hug right now."
"Shush. You're wonderful. You didn't feel well. I assume you didn't have the energy to shower?"
Nico shakes his head and Will nods understandingly.
Nico exhaled softly feeling his tenseness dissolving.
"Thank you."
Will hummed as if asking why.
"You came to me and and didn't ask me what happened. Just what I need that was sweet."
Will huffs. "That's all you needed?"
Nico whispered a soft "Yeah,"
Nico leans up a bit pressing a soft kiss to Will's nose amd he could see a slight flush in the afternoon light.
Then after a moment Will sighed.
"Tired?"
"Very." Will anwsered.
"Could you sleep here?" Nico asked timidly.
Will thinks for a bit before nodding. "We'll tell Chiron you felt feverish so I waited to see if you'd get one."
Nico grinned softly at that before looking thoughtful.
"Will?"
"mhm?"
"I- May I shower?" Nico did this a lot. When he was anxious for a few days he asked for permission as to not do anything wrong. He was very lucky for Will being understanding anf supportive.
"Yes darling. A shower would be really good. Need towels or soap?"
Nico nods sitting up.
As Will walks over to his closet he picks up tree towels and a lavender soup he hears a faint 'You're pretty'
He turns around smiling. "What was that?"
"I wanna be better at telling what's on my mind. I get so anxious about saying something wrong. I wanna try with you 'cause uh I feel very safe with you."
Will smiles. "Oh that makes sense. I'm honoured. Do that then and thank you. You're very pretty too, you know? Shower?"
Nico smiles softly and nods standing up. Will prepares everything for the shower and then looks at Nico.
"Should I stay in the bathroom?"
"I'll be fine. But thank you. Just getting over it and starting is the most difficult. And you've helped already so- I'll be okay" Nico says reassuringly and with confidence.
Will kisses his hand and leaves to lay down on Nico's bed. Borrowing shorts and a shirt from his boyfriends closet. Then he heard a faint patter of water and smiled.
Before he knew it his eyes wee closed and he was sleeping.
As Nico came out freah of the shower and got to get dressed he found his boyfriend out cold and in his clothes. He got dressed in fresh pijamas and layed down next to him.
"Goodnight, love. Thank you,"
And as Nico felt the warmth of Will's skin and his breathing. He let himself relax. It was a process. Will knew that and If Nico forgot then he would remind him.
And they slept peacefully, getting ready for the new day ahead.