Chapter Text
Scott was never good at running from his problems. No matter what happened or what he did, they always came back. When he became an alpha, he began to realize he couldn’t run from them anymore. It would only put him and his pack in danger, so he started facing them head-on. Except for the problem that went running from him or maybe the problem he let go. Scott always told himself he wasn’t sure, but deep down he knew the truth. Scott knew that he let him slip away, the boy that was only one phone call away, but the alpha would never dial the number. Now, this problem, just like the rest, had come crawling back, putting him in a situation where he couldn’t run anymore. The problem that was now staring him directly in the face was in the form of his beta and a chimera.
The first time Scott had noticed the parallels had been during an argument with Liam. The beta insisted that Theo could help, and Scott just didn’t understand why. Theo had done nothing but try to tear them all apart. Now, here Liam was so persistently trying to get Scott to not send Theo back to hell where he belonged. “He’s my responsibility, Noshiko gave me the sword.” The words rushed over Scott like a river pulling him under away from his home but another place that was plagued by the same ghost present in the walls and furniture.
“I’m not a part of your pack, but I want him out. He’s my responsibility too,” Scott had told Derek. Back then, Scott had been so willing to give so many different people second chances. That had started with him. Scott had known he deserved a second chance, that he deserved a redemption because he was scared and innocent. He had never asked to be put into that position. Theo had put himself into this position. He should have known that his actions would have consequences, yet Scott found himself not being able to say no. Liam wanted to give Theo a second chance, just as desperate as Scott had been to give him one.
After that night, Scott found himself more and more drawn to Theo and Liam. When he saw them together, his stomach began to twist in knots. It felt like he was watching it firsthand, knowing exactly how it felt to be in Liam’s or Theo’s position, but at the same time, he was watching it as an outsider. He started picking up on Theo looking at Liam when nobody was watching, how that distrust and tough exterior slipped away when Liam was around. The time it happened, the first time Scott had witnessed Theo get that soft look on his face when he looked at Liam, it sent him back. Green eyes bled into blue ones that were accompanied by dark curls and a toothy smile. Theo provided Liam with so much warmth it didn’t surprise Scott that his beta kept seeking him out. The alpha remembered a point where someone once looked at him like that. It made Scott shiver just then, realizing how cold everything had been since he left. It made Scott yearn for that warmth once more, but he didn’t know if it belonged to him anymore.
Scott didn’t just pick up on the looks but other things. When trouble came lurking, Liam always grabbed Theo, not Mason, not Hayden. On those few occasions she came around, he always reached for Theo. Scott had been in that position before. He knew why Liam did, because he was scared that if he didn’t save Theo, nobody else would, not even himself. There had been once a time he was like that.
“Be careful,” Scott had told him. The alpha knew him well enough now that he knew that he was going to rush in there without a second thought. Scott didn’t want that because, knowing him, if something happened, he wasn’t going to save himself. He had trained into his head that everybody mattered more than him, and if that didn’t change, it was going to get him killed.
“I’ll doubt I’ll even slightly hurt him,” he had replied, cocky as ever. If Scott hadn’t been so worried about his well-being, he would have laughed or smiled, but he needed him to know that this was serious.
“No, I mean you.” His head snapped up from where he was twirling the device in his hands to Scott. He looked surprised, and Scott hated that. He shouldn’t be surprised that people cared about him, that Scott cared about him. “I don’t want you to get hurt,” Scott added. It was true; he never wanted him to get hurt even then.
All of it left Scott spiraling. His nights were restless, spent tossing and turning. All the alpha could think about were those what-ifs he pushed to the back of his head.
What if Scott called and he didn’t pick up? What if his number was blocked?
What if Scott called and he wasn’t blocked? What if he picked up?
What if Scott called and it was too late? What if he moved on?
He could have moved on. Scott wouldn’t blame him. He couldn’t even be mad if he did because Scott had no right, no claim to him. Scott didn’t have any clue if what they had meant anything to him. That had been what really had kept Scott away, his biggest what if.
The spiraling only got worse when at tonight’s pack move night, Theo and Liam announced they were dating. Everyone knew it would happen just like they knew or thought it would happen with Scott and him. Scott couldn’t feel sorry for himself right now though because he knew Liam needed his reassurance, needed his praise. He knew admitting this had been scary. “I’m so proud of you, I’m happy as long as you’re happy,” He told Liam, ruffling his hair. The praise had done so much for Liam but only made Scott feel worse. Without even realizing it, this resentment and jealousy had been building up inside of him over the past couple of months. Scott hated the fact that Liam got what he had always wanted but had pushed away.
Scott really has no reason to be jealous or hateful towards Liam. The beta had done what Scott couldn’t; he hadn’t let Theo slip away like Scott let him go. He had been grasping for anything from Scott following Allison’s death, what Scott wasn’t really sure of, but he wasn’t blind; he knew he wanted something from Scott. Maybe a reason to stay, maybe a confession, maybe he wanted the truth. That a few years had passed since he left, but Scott never really learned how to live without him. That if he could go back that night, he wouldn’t have let him leave. That night still stung.
They had been in Scott’s kitchen. It was late. Everything had begun to calm down, or as much as it could in a town plagued by supernatural creatures, after they defeated the nosgitsune and had freed Stiles from its grasp. Scott was still on edge, though while everyone went back to normal, the memory of Allison’s death still hung in the air around him. He was waiting for what would go wrong next, who would be dead next because of him.
He was sitting on the counter by Scott as the alpha prepared something to eat. Just like Scott was, he was haunted by Allison’s death as well, just as restless as Scott, unable to find peace. You could truly never find peace in Beacon Hills, not when you find out just what’s lurking behind the corner. A comfortable silence filled them, the only sound being from Scott, and even then it was just a container closing, nothing more.
The silence didn’t last long though. They were never good at keeping secrets from each other, and something had been eating him up inside. Scott didn’t push, though he knew he would tell him eventually. “Chris is going to France,” he blurted out. Scott didn’t pull away from what he was doing. He sort of expected Chris to leave. He didn’t blame him at all. If Scott could leave, he would. Chris had lost more to this town than Scott ever did though. It took his wife, his sister, and now his daughter. His whole family lost to the monstrosity of Beacon Hills.
“That’s probably for the best. Allison’s death has been—“ He cutt Scott off.
“He wants me to come with him.” That got Scott to look up. They had been distant ever since Allison’s death. Scott knew he was looking for anything he could from Scott in the last couple of days, but the alpha hadn’t known what he was looking for or what to give him. Not to mention Scott hadn’t been ready to give or open up yet. He always knew the world he was living in now wasn’t a game or anything fun; he’d seen this side of Beacon Hills kill, but it had never hit so close to home like Allison. Boyd had been close, but it had hit Derek harder than it had Scott. This, though, Allison’s death, left him reeling.
It left Scott scared more than he ever had been. It left him wondering if he put everything into him like he did Allison, that it would be him next. It would be him dying in Scott’s arms as he desperately begged for him to stay, to just hold because someone would help him, even though they both knew nobody was coming.
“Are you going to?” Scott asked, building up that wall between them higher by the second. He watched as his eyes searched for something, anything. Scott watched painfully as disappointment flashed through them when he didn’t find what he was looking for.
“Yeah,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. He didn’t do well to hide the sheer disappointment that curled into his voice.
Scott nodded his head, “okay.”
“I’ll be a phone call away. You call, I’ll pick up,” he’d told Scott, and that had been that.
Scott felt himself suffocating in the kitchen where that same conversation had happened. Where Scott had lost him. For once, he was thankful for the chaos that was brought by pack move nights. Everyone’s focus was elsewhere, so they didn’t notice the head of the pack slip out of the house. He leaned forward against the porch, facing the house, his eyes closed as he tried to wash away the memories of the two of them. It didn’t work. Scott had spent the past two years trying to wash away those dark blue eyes, that reminded Scott of the ocean during a storm. “You see Isaac in him, don’t you?” Scott jumped at the sound of a voice, his eyes snapping open to find Lydia standing in front of him.
Scott hated this ability she had. He wasn’t sure if it was banshee-related or if it was just one of Lydia’s many superpowers. She could just appear out of nowhere without making a sound. Lydia also never walked carefully around him. She said Isaac’s name aloud, not in a whisper, in an attempt Scott wouldn’t hear. That had been an unspoken rule since Isaac’s departure: that you never said his name around Scott, and if you did, you whispered it, saying it carefully so maybe he wouldn’t hear.
“Theo and Isaac are two completely different people,” Scott replied, snapping like he was defending Isaac. From what he didn’t know? Maybe he was protecting himself. Theo had done a lot of bad, but he had shown that he deserved a second chance, one that Scott and the rest of the pack had been reluctant to give to him. However, after seeing him grip Gabe’s arm and take away his pain, allowing him to pass in a peaceful manner, had made Scott willing to give him that second chance just like he had done with Isaac. Isaac wasn’t Theo, though, and Theo wasn’t Isaac, or maybe they were, maybe they were more alike than Scott wanted to admit.
Isaac and Theo had both done bad things for different reasons. Isaac because he was scared; he had been scared all his life, especially after Camden passed. Then, Derek gave him this power and opportunity to not be scared anymore, but he was still scared because he had all this power with no way to regulate it. He had been thrown out of a scary life into a terrifying one where anything and anyone could kill you and would. That caused him to do things he shouldn’t have, things he regrets. Theo had been young and impressionable; the dread doctors promised him he would be something great, and in the end, they didn’t want him to do something great or great, in his opinion at the time, had been. They wanted him to be great but a great evil, the perfect evil. In the end, Isaac met Scott, and he wasn’t scared anymore because he knew Scott would protect him, and Theo had met Liam, someone who promised to turn him into something great, something good.
“You and I both know that’s not true. They are different, but they are very much the same. Just like you and Liam are. Different but the same. Isaac and Theo both came from bad starts. They weren’t good, but then they met someone that wanted them to be good. That made them want to be good. That person for Theo was Liam, and that person for Isaac was you,” Lydia told him. She spoke softly in a way that relaxed Scott. It didn’t put him on edge. She wasn’t trying to confront him; she just wanted to show him the truth. She was good at that. She made him feel understood, not caught or in trouble.
“Call him, Scott,” Lydia added after a brief moment of silence. She slid the alpha’s phone into his hand before returning to the house and not letting the door slam. Scott clutched his phone tightly but not tight enough to break it, a lesson he had learned on multiple occasions when he was still trying to understand his own strength. He turned away from the house, away from the pack, as if claiming this moment for himself, making it his own. He unlocked his phone and pulled up Isaac’s contact. He didn’t hesitate because if he did, it would never happen. He clicked the call button and put it up to his ear.
It rang three times, three times for Scott to rethink this whole thing and hang up. “Bonjour?” Isaac’s raspy voice filled Scott’s ear. From experience, Scott knew he had been dead asleep before answering the phone. Scott frowned; he felt bad he had completely forgotten about the time difference between the us and France.
“Bonjour? Qui est-ce?” Isaac spoke again.
“Uh, hey, sorry for calling so late,” Scott replied. He wasn’t sure what Isaac said. Scott had taken three years of Spanish in high school, the minimum to graduate, and he barely understood anything besides ‘Hola’ and ‘Cómo Estás.’ What Scott did know is he loved the sound of the words on Isaac’s tongue, how they sounded so smooth and perfect. If Scott didn’t know any better, he would think that Isaac spoke French all his life with the way he spoke it so effortlessly, not missing a beat.
He heard shuffling on the other end of the phone before Isaac spoke again, this time in english. “Scott, hey, yeah, it’s not problem. How have you been?”
“Uh, definitely been better. We had quite a crazy past couple of days here,” Scott replied.
“Tell me about it,” Isaac remarked.
Scott shook his head, even though the beta couldn’t see. It was late where Isaac was, and in no way did Scott want keep him up. “No, it’s late there. I’ll let you get back to sleep.”
“Scott,” Isaac spoke again.
“Yeah?”
“Tell me about it,” Isaac repeated. He spoke softer this time, sounding much more genuine. The alpha couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.