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Neville doesn’t tell anybody about this, about his.... discovery . It’s probably a weird thing to say. Probably awkward and he's plenty awkward on his own so he just thinks about it and it’s much safer that way. It’ll cross his mind sometimes, randomly, turning his lips into a smile he can’t suppress and his stomach gets all fluttery.
It’s just- bloody hell , he just really likes how much shorter Harry is.
He notices it by accident. And he means it! It’s not like he’s deliberately trying to be creepy or anything. Really.
It happened during a D.A. meeting. The third or fourth, he can’t remember. But Neville was next in line, Harry was right in front of him, demonstrating what to do first which bypassed him completely.
Harry was smaller than he was, which Neville knew , obviously, but they’d never really had much of a reason to stand so close together like that. But now , standing there, all he could think about was how if he inched just a little closer , he could rest his chin on top of Harry’s head. Not exactly the best time for it, especially when Harry turned around with a bright smile, instructing Neville to go next.
It should've been the end of it. But Neville knows since that day, he’s well and truly screwed , to put it plainly.
He doesn’t tell him, of course. That’ll mean he’ll have to stumble through an awkward explanation that leaves him blushing and averting his eyes and Harry might not even understand ...
So, no, he keeps it to himself. It’s better that way. And it’s fine , really. Lets him think about it without having the embarrassment of others knowing.
It’s weird, he knows that.
But he can’t help it. Harry’s head comes right up to Neville’s chin and it’s the best when they hug. All that unruly hair that slightly tickles his neck and sometimes Harry’s nose is against Neville’s throat, other times he’ll let his head hang on his boyfriend’s shoulder and he fits so perfectly in Neville’s arms.
It’s- Merlin, it’s nice. Neville knows Harry struggles with touch sometimes, so he never expected anything from him but Harry makes an effort and Neville appreciates it so much but he doesn’t bring it up so it doesn’t embarrass his boyfriend.
But he wants to. Wishes he could so he can show Harry how much it means to him. Because, oh, does it mean so bloody much that despite what he’s been through in the past, Harry allows himself to experience these moments with Neville.
But he won’t. He’ll certainly think about it, though. Too many times for it to be normal.
*
Harry has to look up at Neville when they talk. Just a little. It’s not much , really, so it shouldn’t give him this little thrill he gets when it happens.
Merlin, he’s being weird again.
*
It gets worse. And weirder.
Ginny corners them one morning, eyes full of determination like she’s on a mission. Neville regards her warily. He can’t imagine what she might want.
“Morning,” she says, cheeky smile and all.
“Morning,” Harry says and Neville just nods. He’s not completely awake anyway.
“I’ve a question for you both,” she falls into step with them on their way towards the Great Hall.
“What’s that?” Harry asks. They’re holding hands, him and Harry. They’ve been doing that lately and it’s simply wonderful . He can hardly believe he’s lucky enough to be the bloke that gets to do this.
“Does Harry wear your clothes, Neville?” She says, and silence follows. It catches them both off guard, the bizarreness of it.
“What?” They say simultaneously.
She continues, as if it’s completely ordinary, “I asked Ron but he didn’t know and didn’t want to talk about it.”
“And, err, why do you want to know?” Harry says quizzically.
“Curious,” she says.
It doesn’t do anything to alleviate Harry’s confusion. “Why would I wear Neville’s clothes?”
She rolls her eyes. “People do that in relationships, Harry.”
“ Why?”
They bicker a bit over it, those two. Harry finds it pointless as he’s got his own stuff but Ginny insists that he’ll understand if he ever does it.
And Neville? His mind wanders and it’s a bad, bad sign.
He imagines Harry in something of his - a jumper, a shirt. It falls lower on him than his own clothes do, the sleeves have to be pushed up, the whole time he looks-
He doesn’t just want to imagine it. He wants to see it. Wants to see Harry in one of his jumpers so badly.
It’s just too bad Harry’s not that kind of bloke.
*
Today’s D.A. lessons are over. Everyone’s leaving, they’re careful of course, so no one catches them.
Neville lingers in the back while Harry chats to Hermione and Ron. He thinks his heart actually stutters when his boyfriend breaks out into this wide grin. It’s just, Harry’s had it difficult this year- what with people not believing him about You-Know-Who, Cedric dying last term, Umbridge . He’s tense, quick to anger. Neville hates seeing him like this, wishes there was something he can do, anything to bring the light back to his eyes, if just for a second.
The whole idea of this group is brilliant. Yes, he knows it was Hermione’s idea but to witness Harry lead them is...it’s incredible. He’s confident, in his element, walking around helping them all. More importantly, he’s relaxed. Neville doesn’t think he can get anymore prouder or he’ll just burst .
He smiles somewhat awkwardly at Ron and Hermione as they bid him a goodbye on their way out. Harry’s still here, just tidying up what was left behind. Neville approaches him, and he means to say something calm and collected, something that lets his boyfriend know how well he’s doing because he’s got awful self-doubt, not that Neville has any room to talk-
“You did good!”
Cripes. He doesn’t mean to blurt that out, or for it to be so loud . Neville cringes at the way his voice echoes. Even more so when Harry jumps a little, whirling around.
“Sorry,” Neville says hastily.
“It’s alright,” Harry relaxes. He smiles too. “You were brilliant too.”
“Only because you helped me.” He’s slower than most of the others. Harry has to come by at least three or four times to get him going in the right direction. Honestly, it should be embarrassing, but Nevile’s mind goes blank when his boyfriend comes up beside him, arms wrapped around to show him the correct wand movements and it’s then he can’t breathe, can’t form any words because Harry’s there and he smells so bloody good and-and-
He needs to get a grip. Neville knows that too.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Harry says, and really, it’s pot calling the cauldron black but Neville doesn’t call him out on it. “You’re doing better.” It’s high praise coming from him, so he just ducks his head, pleased, but still a little doubtful because he did accidentally toss his wand at Seamus while practicing.
“What are you doing after this?” Neville asks. He dreads to think of the homework he has to do, all of which is due tomorrow and all he wants to do is curl up in bed after a restless night of listening to Seamus and Lavender doing....things he would rather not think about. In hindsight, he could have used a silencing charm but in his defense, he was tired .
“Potions essay,” Harry says, sighing. That’s also on Neville’s list of things to do so he definitely sympathises. “I’m going to work with Ron and Hermione. You could join us if you want.”
“Okay,” Neville says, full of relief. He doesn’t even care if he sounds overeager. Snape’s essays are a nightmare . “I’ll do that.”
Harry gives him another brilliant smile, turning around to pick up a piece of parchment that dropped to the floor. Neville doesn’t go around using the word cute , but he doesn’t think there’s anything to properly describe how he feels about that smile. Honest to Merlin, it’s cute as hell and he wants to see more of it.
“You can go if you’d like.”
Neville snaps back to it. His face warms as it becomes apparent to both of then that he was lost in his own thoughts for a moment there.
“You don’t have to wait for me,” Harry adds.
He doesn’t want to leave Harry by himself. He likes walking with him, but also recognises that this might be one of those times Harry prefers to be alone and well, he’s not going to force himself in his boyfriend’s space if that’s not what he wants.
He’s been there. He loves his gran, loves her a lot, but she can be...she be a bit much and doesn’t take it well if he happens to want to be alone for a while.
So, yes. He definitely knows.
“Right,” Neville says, nodding. “Alright. I’ll see you back at the Tower then.”
Harry nods, turning around once more. Neville takes in a breath, his palms sweaty, anticipation building. He wants to ask, it’s just Harry , he can do this.
“Can I, er, have a hug?”
It sounds worse when he says it out loud. Neville wishes the ground could swallow him whole.
Harry stares, seems to think it over and Neville is already accepting that it will be politely declined and-
“Err, okay.”
Neville’s heart leaps . Harry doesn’t move, it’s like his feet are rooted in the floor, so he makes the move for him. Steps into Harry’s space, emerald eyes flicking up to meet his own, uncertainty clouding them that makes Neville want to hold him and never let go until he’s never doubtful ever again.
His arms wrap around Harry’s frame, gently easing him closer. Neville’s eyes close when they’re finally together, when Harry relaxes against him and Neville thanks his lucky stars that he’s able to do this, curling into him so Harry’s tucked neatly into him and it’s nothing short of perfect .