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Leo tinkered with his latest invention, really making sure that the screws were in tight, the paint job was perfect, and that it, you know, did what it was meant to do.
He called them the architect’s glasses, super creative name, sure, but they were more about what they could do rather than what they were called.
He namely created them because he overheard Annabeth complaining about how difficult it was for her to focus on whatever she was doing at nighttime, because it was dark and her eyes were so tired, and how her adhd made it harder for her to process the actual information on the page. Leo decided to put a stop to that.
So, these glasses came into fruition, they created light, used thicker glasses in order maintain stability in the vision during exhaustion, which therefore also allowed her to retain more information, as well as included a mini photo option, which could connect to a monster-proof printer that Leo had created specifically to include with the glasses. Each arm was also a mini dagger, just in case.
It had taken him approximately one week for him to make these, he hadn’t really left the bunker, what for? But he was no less than proud. She would love them, it would solve all her problems, and maybe she’d even ask him to make more things. Maybe even come visit him in the bunker more often, or even someone else maybe. That would be cool. Surely these would do that.
Truth was, he hadn’t really left the bunker because there was no real need to. He would leave for obvious reasons like to eat, go back to his room, sometimes the campfire etc. But other than that, he didn’t really do anything else. No one really invited him to things, unless it was mandatory, then Chiron sent someone to retrieve him, and they only really came to talk to him if they needed something fixed and no other Hephestus kid could do it. Or they needed him specifically for something, like building a whole ship.
In fairness to them, he did ruin things a lot with his Leo-ness. He was constantly loud, telling bad jokes, and just generally didn’t get the vibe.
Maybe he wouldn’t be wanted, but maybe these glasses could prove he was needed.
So, after making the final finishing touches, he made his way to the dining pavilion. It was around 6:30pm, so Annabeth should definitely be there, maybe she’d even be able to test them that night? She was going to love them.
Hopefully.
No, she’d love them.
It took a minute for him to find her in the hustle and bustle of people, mainly through all the blondes from the Athena cabin, before he found her sitting along the edge with the rest of the seven, Will and Nico.
Oh cool, they were all together, he hadn’t realised.
When was the last time they all hung out? He couldn’t even remember it had been so long.
He approached them, glasses in hand, and was taken aback by their shock at seeing him. Why would they be shocked? He went on the quest didn’t he? They should’ve known he would come by if he saw them together. Not that he knew they were even there in the first place. How did they all know to meet there?
Were they all meeting without him?
No, that was stupid, he needed to stop whining and overthinking, it was annoying.
“Hey guys.” He smiled, feeling his chest tighten when they only offered him some smiles in return. “Um, Annabeth, I heard you were struggling to read at night and stuff, so I made you these.” He handed her the glasses, which she turned over in her hand. “They’re made to be more stable for your vision, especially at night, and come with photos, a light and even some daggers in the arms.” He pointed to each individual feature, feeling his chest tighten further when she had no obvious reaction to them. She just analysed them, tried out the features, until…
“Thanks Leo. These look cool, you didn’t have to do that.”
Oh.
That was it?
No, that was stupid, of course that’s all it was, they were just glasses for Tartarus’ sake.
He took a deep breath and broadened his smile, “no problem Annie, just thought they might help.”
He looked to the rest of the group, his chest flaring again when he realised how quiet they had been since he had arrived. They all offered him some smiles, but no one continued the conversation they were having when he first arrived. It was almost as if they were talking about…
Ah.
They didn’t want him there.
It was ok, he could take a hint.
He felt the back of his eyes and nose start to burn, he needed to get out of here. How pathetic he’d been, interrupting their conversation, ruining their day. Expecting attention from them because, what, he built some glasses? That was just rude.
Before he could listen to the words that were about to come out of his friends’ mouths, he uttered a quick “ok, good to see you all see you later,” before he turned on his heel and rushed out of the pavilion, back to the bunker.
How could he be so rude? Crashing a hang out that he clearly wasn’t invited to. He wanted people to like him more and he would go and pull stuff like this? Yeah, super likeable.
He was honestly hanging for some food, but after that encounter, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be perceived by them for any longer. They would watch him from his table, the table where he sat on the outskirts and wasn’t really a part of any of the conversations happening around him, and when he would try to contribute, or tell a funny joke, he’d just get a lot of side eyes.
They would think about how he just turned up, to give stupid glasses to someone who hadn’t even complained directly to him, he’d just overheard! Now they’d think he was rude and a stalker as well as just generally weird. How could he be so stupid? Maybe he missed talking to people everyday and having friends on the Argo II, but that was still no excuse. He wasn’t wanted, through and through.
He didn’t really know how to make himself wanted, he’d tried the jokes, and the inventions. What else could he offer?
Not much, honestly. He was pretty useless.
He felt the tears drip down his face, dam it, he wasn’t even at the bunker yet, somebody could see him and know how the people that he had been on a ship with for weeks didn’t even want to spend time with him.
“Hey Valdez!”
He froze, wiped the tears on his face, plastered on a smile, and turned to the Ares kid that had made it a habit to taunt him.
“At your service.” His voice quivered. He couldn’t give himself away.
“Got no one to sit with?” The kid, the very muscular and tall kid, made his way towards him. “Going back to the bunker?” He taunted.
Leo felt his lip quiver. Not now. “I just have a lot to do.” He said quietly. Lie. No one had asked him to do anything.
The kid smirked, “so much to do,” he mocked, “I bet you do.”
As Leo made his way to leave, he heard him yell out, for all to hear, “go cry in your bunker, Valdez!”
And he would.
The moment he stepped into the bunker, he felt the burn in his eyes grow rapidly, and he sobbed as the tears spilled down his face, wracked his body and wet his neck.
This was so pathetic.
Crying in a bunker, by himself, because people didn’t want him?
Why didn’t people want him?
What was wrong with him?
—
The next day, Leo got up from his bed in cabin 9, and was met in his doorway by his sister Nyssa, who woke him up every morning.
“You coming to the campfire today?” She asked, sounding slightly bored.
Yes.
No.
He was a horrible person either way.
She was clearly inviting him, so it would be rude to refuse that invitation, especially when he got so little these days. Beggars can’t be choosers.
But also, nobody really wanted him there, he would just take up space, take up snacks and warmth and a spot for somebody else, which was also rude.
“I don’t know.” He responded, not wanting this conversation to continue.
She looked past him into his room, and sighed, “it’s not really an invite, it’s more of a command. Chiron says you’ve missed too many and its not ‘good for you’. Besides, you might like it.”
Ah, there it was, it wasn’t an actual invitation. It was mandatory.
So he nodded, which was a good enough answer for her apparently, considering she left after that.
Well, time to start the day.
He could go to one of the classes, but considering that almost all of them required group work, and chosen teams, he thought he’d pass. He didn’t need to relive his days being chosen last for PE again. No thank you.
The only other class there was, was sword fighting with Percy or Jason, who would probably be annoyed by the fact that he’s a complete beginner, and couldn’t hold his own in battle anyways. He’d just waste their time. Time they could spend with another student to help. Not wasted on him.
So, basically, he didn’t have anyone to hang out with. The Bunker it was, then, until the campfire basically.
Making his way to the bunker, he avoided the eye sight of as many demigods that he could, by going the back way. They would have all seen him and think, oh wow there goes Leo Valdez again, look at him, going back to the bunker, all alone, because he has no friends.
It was embarrassing, really, knowing that everyone knew just how unwanted he was. They know because they also didn’t want him around, and why would they? He was just Leo.
Upon arriving at the bunker and opening the door, Leo couldn’t help but realise there was nothing for him to do there. He wasn’t going to create more gifts for anyone, yesterday was embarrassing enough, and no one had come to him with anything to fix.
He might as well create something for himself? No, that would be selfish, waste of resources.
But, it wasn’t like he was doing anything else. He wasn’t with anybody, or spending time with people, he might as well do something for himself.
He was already a bad person, might as well continue his streak.
So, for about roughly eight hours, he built himself his own little shelf. He was in the bunker so much already, it made sense for him to have somewhere to put his stuff. No one came around anyway.
Even though he’d made it clear they were all welcome, not just to see him but to use the space.
The only problem was that everybody knew that he was there, so they avoided it. Which made sense, he’d claimed this space as his own, intentionally or unintentionally.
He kept building his shelf until he heard a series of knocks on the door, probably Nyssa, it was time for the campfire. How fun.
So he grabbed his jacket, and headed out to the fire with Nyssa.
The walk there was frisk, silent, Leo didn’t really have much conversation on account of being in the bunker all the time. And Nyssa didn’t really seem like she had anything either.
“I built a shelf today.” He found himself saying.
She furrowed her brows. “Why?”
He frowned, “I don’t know, I just needed it.”
She nodded. “Ok, cool.”
And that was that.
Luckily, their arrival to the campfire interrupted what would have otherwise been an awkward walk, it seemed like everybody had already arrived, there weren’t really any spaces left on the logs to sit.
He looked to where the rest of his friends were sitting, a log sat roughly eight if you squished, and all eight had seemed to be filling theirs.
Nyssa had gone off and sat with some of the Hephestus kids, eight people there, no room.
He scanned his eyes around the fire, looking for somewhere to sit. He couldn’t keep standing there, everyone would really see how pathetic and unwanted he was. If he could at least confidently sit somewhere, it wouldn’t be as obvious.
The only spot that seemed to be available, was next to the log with the rest of the seven, so he’d still be with them, just, apart, by a really big gap.
But, that would be kind of rude, wouldn’t it? They clearly didn’t want to be around him, even yesterday, they had all met up without him. Interrupting them one time could be seen as a mistake, a human error. Two times was just inconsiderate.
However, he really couldn’t keep standing there.
So he dragged his feet over to sit near the seven. He crossed his arms and hunched his shoulders, hoping that maybe they wouldn’t recognise that it was him.
Sitting on the chair, he reciprocated the smile and “hey” that Percy gave him.
“How have you been?” He asked.
“Good thanks, you?”
“Yeah good.”
Then he went back to talking to the others.
From a distance, Leo would feel a few sets of eyes turn towards him, when he turned to look, he found the Ares kid and three others, one boy two girls, whispering and staring at him, but the moment he turned to them, they turned away, as if they had been caught doing something illegal.
He averted his gaze, he didn’t need to be reminded what a freak he was, but he could still feel another set of eyes upon him.
He turned to look at Chiron, who was staring at him from across the campfire, he looked almost…sad? Why would he be sad? Especially for him? It was Leo’s own fault he didn’t have anybody, he brought this upon himself.
He heard a whistle coming from the direction of the Ares kid, when he looked, he was making pouty faces at him. He was mocking him. He didn’t know why, it’s not like he didn’t know he was worthless.
But someone else saying it to him felt different.
The kid tilted his head to the side. No friends? He mouthed.
Leo looked away. Just because he wasn’t close to them didn’t mean that they weren’t friends, right?
Right?
He looked at the others in the group, they were all happy, smiling, laughing. The warm light of the campfire and the sound of conversation enveloped them all. They were such good people.
Oh well.
He wasn’t even sure why he was so upset over this, it’s not like he ever really had friends. His whole life, he’d been bullied, excluded, mocked and shunned. In fact, Piper had been his first ever friend. Until the Argo II, then she didn’t really want anything to do with him.
Maybe this time, he knew what he was missing out on.
It was mostly his fault, he should’ve made more of an effort with Piper. Been there for her more, talked to her more. But no, he was so busy working on the stupid ship that he made no time to even be around her.
He brought this on himself.
And he would never feel it again.
He couldn’t be here anymore.
The mechanic got up from his seat, feeling sets of eyes land on and track him. He couldn’t look. The burning behind his nose and eyes was back. If he looked, he’d break down. Then they’d really hate him, for ruining their night.
But once he was out of sight from all the prying gazes, he broke.
The sobs that wrecked through his body were painful. He was gulping in breaths like a fish out of water. Why couldn’t anybody like him? Why was he so dam unlikeable?
He had no one. No one at all. No one cared. No one paid attention. Even if he did talk to them, what would he even say? That he’d been feeling lonely? Tough. Who’s fault is that? His.
Why should anybody even care about him, when all he deserves in life is pain?
He entered the bunker again, he wasn’t going back to cabin 9 tonight.
Leo headed straight for the bathroom at the end of the bunker, where he kept his stash. His guilty pleasure, so to speak.
All he wanted was some comfort, like he used to get from Piper. But Piper wasn’t around, and neither was a comfort.
But this would always be around.
He unpicked the small dagger, and relied on its comfort.
Once for the time they had caught up without him.
Once for the stares.
Once for the whispers.
Once for the mocking.
Once for the small talk.
Once for his rudeness.
And once for his Leo-ness.
He would always feel guilty for who he was, at least with this, if he hurt himself, he was holding himself accountable. He didn’t have to feel so guilty. So this wasn’t an issue.
It wasn’t an issue.
He felt the blood trickle down his arm. He would have to clean that up, in case someone came in here. Not that they would, but just in case they did.
The sting wasn’t anything new. It was something he’d felt many times before. On the streets, in foster homes, in social care, at school…
And now at camp.
He cleaned the knife, before moving onto his arm. Making sure the bandage was tight enough that it would ache, but not cut off his circulation.
It was starting to get chillier out, he didn’t really feel it because of his fire, but others wouldn’t really bat an eyelid if he started wearing hoodies out instead of t-shirts. But upon putting his CHB hoodie on, he realised some of his cuts were still visible below the sleeve, he went a bit too low. He made a mental note to remember to pull his sleeves down when he left the bunker.
He peeked his head out of the bathroom into the bunker, no one was there. Shocker. But right then, it was perfect. He didn’t need people finding out about this. Then they’d have to waste their limited time and resources on him, which was simply unacceptable.
He figured he might as well go to sleep, there was nothing else for him to do at this point. Unless he built another pathetic shelf that was just so cool .
Whatever, it didn’t matter. Nobody would notice if he didn’t go back to his cabin for one night, it was fine. Whatever.
He didn’t care anyways.
Leo flopped onto the mattress that he had hidden in the corner of the bunker, when he was working on the Argo II (alone, he might add), he figured he’d have a lot of nights here, considering how nobody really worked on the ship with him. If he was going to stay there, he might as well be a bit comfortable.
He leaned his head against his old pillow, and felt the stubborn tears that he had felt before come back and roll down his face, wetting his neck and pillow.
The sting and ache in his arm was stronger than ever, he had no one there with him. No real friends. Certainly no family. No mother.
No mother.
How he could go for a hug from his mom right now.
But she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there to run her fingers through his hair, or remind him how much she loved him, or make him her tacos.
She wasn’t there and it was all his fault.
The tears were trickling faster than ever, and his nose became blocked within seconds. He just wanted a friend. His mom. Someone. Anyone.
His mom would never hug him again, never comfort him.
He was completely and utterly alone.
And he always would be.
—
The next morning, he arose from his makeshift bed, arm still sore, face sticky from all the tears, and made his way to the bathroom.
After confirming that he had, in fact, cleaned up properly from the night before, he erased all evidence of sadness from his face, plastered on a beam, and made his way out of the bunker.
Where he was met with a cross-armed Nyssa.
“Where were you last night?” She interrogated.
He pointed back to the bunker, “in there.” He meekly admitted.
Nyssa let out a sigh and rubbed her temples, “you know you can’t just sleep wherever, Leo. While you were building the Argo it was different, but now, you gotta come back to the cabin, ok? I’m gonna let you go with a warning this time.”
He nodded, but something on his face must’ve given her reason to worry, because her face scrunched into a concerned look. “What’s wrong?” She asked.
He gave her the biggest smile that he could. “Nothing.” He replied. “I’m all good, just tired.”
She nodded, satisfied with his answer, and said, “breakfast is over in about 40 minutes. Make sure you get something.”
After promising he would get something, she left. Leaving him standing alone in the field outside the bunker.
Walking to the pavilion, like he was told to, he heard a series of whispers and giggles beside him, which he found were coming from two of the Aphrodite girls. When he made eye contact with them, one of them screamed and the other girl by her side laughed like she had just told the most hilarious joke in the world.
Or an inside joke.
He didn’t want to go to breakfast anymore. Suddenly he wasn’t hungry.
He started to walk towards cabin 9.
“Such a weirdo.” He heard them whisper.
“I know right.”
Those dam tears again.
He really wished Piper still liked him.
Just his luck, as he was walking back to his cabin, he saw her leaving the Aphrodite cabin.
It was his fault that they’d grown apart, so therefore it was up to him to reconnect them.
This was his chance.
“Pipes!” He called out, remembering to pull the sleeves of his hoodie down.
She offered him a smile and waved, “hey Leo! What’s up?” She asked.
He missed her.
He was being bullied.
He was being ignored.
He started to hurt himself again.
He missed his mom.
“Nothing much.” He shrugged. “Just thought I’d come and say hi.”
Her eyes flickered to her right, she was looking for someone, “ok, so, hi!” She said.
An awkward silence arose, with Piper still looking around her, probably so that someone would come and save her from his exchange.
Maybe if he told her some of the things that were happening? Maybe then she’d be concerned and want to be around him? Surely she would care that he was feeling so horrible lately. Or that he was being made fun of relentlessly.
Surely she’d care.
He shuffled his feet. “Um. Can I talk to you about something?” She had to care.
She winced. “Right now? I’m kind of busy, Leo.”
The only way that he could describe the feeling in his chest, was that a field of flowers had just shriveled up and died.
“It won’t take too lo–”
“Is it important?” She interrupted impatiently.
Another few flowers died. “No. No it’s not important.” He whispered. “Sorry to hold you up.”
She gave him a smile as her eyes landed on someone behind him, “I’ll see you around. Ok? We’ll catch up.”
Before he could even reply, she was off, and was walking over to…
Percy and Jason.
More flowers.
Might as well go back to cabin 9.
He trekked back to the cabin, trying not to recall how Jason and Percy didn’t even say hi to him, even though they were kind of looking in his direction.
That wasn’t fair. That made them seem like bad people, which they weren’t.
They had just grown apart.
They had probably walked over, saw their friend, Piper, talking with someone that they used to be friends with. Or used to go on a quest with, depending if they thought they were friends with him or not. They didn’t need a reason to say hi, because they weren’t friends anymore, so what did it matter?
Just as he was about to open the door to his cabin, surprisingly he heard his name being called, but not with the mockery of the Ares kid, or the seriousness of Nyssa, it was the optimism of Chiron.
Weird.
He gave a smile as he pulled his sleeve down, as Chiron wheeled over. “How are you today, Leo?” He asked him.
“Good. How are you?” He responded, it was all going perfectly, Chiron would never know. He didn’t need the camp head knowing he was a pathetic loser more than he already did.
The wheelchair bound centaur just gave him a small smile, “how are you really?”
What kind of question was that?
“Good, really.” He just replied, pulling on his sleeve some more.
Chiron eyed the sleeve, “is there anything you would like to discuss? Anything at all. I haven’t heard of one of your inventions lately?”
Leo swallowed, “I built a shelf?” He offered. So much for amazing inventions.
He raised his eyebrows, “Very useful. Made with oak or timber?”
“Timber.”
An impressed nod. “Very nice.”
What else could Leo say? Chiron, the head of camp, was here asking him about shelves.
“Am I in trouble?” He asked, nerves lacing his voice.
Chiron wheeled closer, “no, Leo. Not at all. Quite the opposite.” He gestured for Leo to follow him. “Let’s have a talk.”
Trembling, and slightly nauseous, he followed Chiron to wherever he was taking him, which, as it turned out, happened to be the Big House.
When they arrived, a table with hot tea and mugs was already set up. Clearly meant for him. Why would he make tea and set the table for him? He didn’t even make himself tea.
What was going on?
After taking the seat that Chiron gestured towards, he felt his hands start to shake. He couldn’t even pour the beautiful tea that he had made. Stupid Leo. He wanted people to be nice to him, to notice him, and when they actually did, he was too shaky to appreciate it.
Watching him shake, Chiron offered to pour the tea for him, with a “may I?” He was still too shaky to drink the tea though. He also knew he drank things weirdly, and he didn’t want Chiron to have to witness that.
When he didn’t take a sip, Chiron put his hands on the table and looked him in the eye. “I’ve seen less of you around.”
Leo pulled down his sleeve, he didn’t like where this was going.
“Camp can be quite full sometimes, but it is also easy to feel alone in the crowd. Is that similar to how you may be feeling?”
He shrugged. He didn’t really know what to say to that. He wasn’t so much as lonely as he was just pathetic. There was no reason for him to play the victim when it was his own fault that he had no one.
Chiron looked toward his sleeve. “If I think that a demigod is a danger to themself. I will intervene. But before I send you to Will and the infirmary, I would like to gain your perspective on this, Leo. Are you willing to give that to me?”
He stopped fiddling with his sleeve. “No one really…notices me. Or likes me. I try to fix myself, to make myself more likeable. But nothing really seems to be working.”
There went the flowers again, and the burning sensation behind his nose and eyes returned. He really was a horrible person. Crying about problems that he created to Chiron. It was sick, and twisted and he didn’t deserve any kindness.
But instead of blaming him, Chiron just nodded, “why wouldn’t they like you?” He asked.
Leo shrugged, feeling the tears drip down his face, “I don’t know,” his voice quivered, “some others make fun of me for not having friends. Which is fair, because I don’t even have anyone to sit with at the campfire.” He started to break down into sobs. Gods, he was so pathetic. So, so pathetic.
He was expecting the judgement. The truth that he wasn’t anything special and never would be and didn’t deserve any of the kindness that Chiron was giving him at all. But instead, what he got was the centaur’s hands enveloping his own.
“Its not uncommon for demigods at camp to feel this way. Especially when they come without a support system, as you have.”
The silence that followed was filled with the sound of Leo’s sniffling and sobs. “We’re going to create a support system for you. I’m going to take you to the infirmary, and have a discussion with Will. Does that sound ok?”
No.
No, he didn’t want to go to Will.
He wasn’t worthy of care from the best doctor in camp, that same doctor didn’t even bother to invite him to anything when he hung out with the rest of the group. Will would just know how horrible he was, and if he knew that, then that decreased his chances significantly at getting him to be his friend again.
So he shook his head, and refused to look at the shocked expression on Chiron’s face.
“I can’t.” He sobbed. “I can’t. They’ll hate me, I’ll ruin their day. I can’t go. Please.”
He couldn’t bear the flicker of sadness on Chiron’s face, he caused that. He was such a monster for refusing to go to Will, but he would also be a monster if he went to Will. It was a lose-lose situation.
Chiron took a deep breath. “We are here to help you. You asking for help, and accepting it is not going to ruin anybody’s day. And I’m sorry, Leo, but you will need to speak with Will. I shall fill him in, so you won’t have to. I’m gonna need you to work with me.”
Leo’s sobs had slightly subsided, but not enough to stop the tears trickling down his face.
“They’ll hate me.” He sobbed out.
The kindness in Chiron’s eyes made Leo want to start crying all over again.
“No one could hate you.”
—
Leo sat in the bunker, alone again, tinkering with some metal. Chiron had let him go, on the condition that he would promise to go and see Will at some point. He had agreed, if only so that he could leave the Big House and cry on his own.
He wanted his friends to like him, he didn’t want to spill his guts out to someone who hated him. That was just sad.
His stomach churned. He had lied though. He had lied to Chiron just because he was slightly uncomfortable with the conversation. He should go see Will, he promised he would, but he’s not. Classic Leo. Lies to get away with stuff, and he wonders why people stopped tolerating him.
But if he went, he’d be vulnerable to someone who clearly didn’t like him.
What a fun predicament.
He looked down at the metal contraption that he made, it was some kind of sphere, with spikes on the edges. He had no clue what it was, or what it was even useful for. It was just spare parts.
He squeezed against the spikes. Maybe if he squeezed hard enough he could bend the stupid thing into something useful. Sure, he could use his fire powers to melt and reheat it, but where was the fun in that?
This hurt.
The spikes bent and curved against his hand, blood began dripping down the metal. He could feel a faint sting where the blood was, along his fingers, his hand, but he didn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop. Refused to.
At the end of it all, the bloody spikes hadn’t morphed, and Leo’s hand was left bloodied and cut up. Perfect. Now he really did have to go to Will. At least he hadn’t ended up lying.
In defeat, he trekked out of the bunker and to the infirmary, again trying to go the back way, so that no one would see him. He didn’t need people to know about his little habits either.
How could he be so idiotic? Chiron had a close eye on him, said that he thought that he was a danger to himself. Pft, no. He wasn’t a danger to himself, he just did what he had to do. It wasn’t like he was going to kill himself or anything, because that’s being a danger to himself. No, he was just doing what was necessary, what he deserved. That was it.
It was truly ridiculous how all this ended up. Sure, fine, he was lonely, but that didn’t mean he was unwell. He just…struggled in the social department. Always had. Always would. The only reason he was so upset now was because he knew what it was like, temporarily, to succeed in said department, but now he had lost it. Quite frankly, he needed to stop wallowing in self pity and just get over it like a normal person. He would never have friends again. That was a fact. Yeah, it kind of sucked but that was life you know? Life sucked–
Leo hadn’t been watching where he was going, and neither was Piper apparently, because they ran straight into each other.
“Oof, sorry, sorry…” She trailed off, noticing the blood on Leo’s hand. “What happened?” She asked worriedly.
Leo blinked in shock, he didn’t think he’d notice. “Nothing. Nothing, don’t–don’t worry. Just a bunker accident.”
She ran her fingers through her hand, “well, come on, quick, you gotta get to the infirmary–”
This was rich. She refused to talk to him, visit him, or even include him in conversations unless he was physically bleeding . Wow.
“Why do you care?” He snapped. Oof, that was harsh.
He felt a twinge of guilt at the hurt in her eyes, “what do you mean? You’re hurt I–”
“You haven’t properly talked to me in what? A few weeks? And now you care?”
That was the wrong thing to say.
His life sometimes just felt like an Episode storyline where he constantly had no diamonds left over.
Anger simmered in her eyes, “oh, don’t you pin this on me. You sit in that stupid bunker all day every day, and you’re mad at me that we’ve stopped talking? ME? ” She spat. “Maybe if you actually came out every few days, I might be inclined to talk to you.”
He furrowed his brows in confusion, “I literally came to talk to you today. Today! And you walked away?”
She let out a frustrated sigh, “it was early, Leo, and I’m busy.”
He felt the tears well up behind him, “no, I think you’re just too busy for me. Actually, no, I think you’re embarrassed to be seen with me. Whenever I am here, you don’t bother to speak to me, or if you do, it’s, what? Polite conversation? You were my first friend, Piper. And who do I have now? Answer: No one!”
He couldn’t quite place the emotion that flickered over her face, but he didn’t want to think about it.
“You ditched me on the Argo, you ditch me here, even when people are clearly making fun of me you don’t do anything. You don’t care, so don’t you pin this on me. ”
And with that, he stormed off. He didn’t bother to see whatever cheap emotion would be on her face, she would just go back to usual tomorrow. She’d forget all about him again. Whatever. He didn’t care.
He didn’t care so much the tears were fast tracking down his face.
When he emerged from his secret back-way to get to the infirmary itself, he knew that people were staring. He had tears down his face, he was crying, bleeding, and probably looked worse for wear. He didn’t care. Stuff them all, they could make fun of him for this, they would make fun of him if he was impeccably dressed and not bleeding, they would make fun of him anyways. There was nothing he could do.
No, he didn’t care. He didn’t care when he heard people whispering as he went past.
“What on earth happened to him.”
“Ew.”
“He’s seen better days.”
“Boo hoo Valdez!”
No, no, didn’t care. No he didn’t. Sure those comments made him cry a bit more, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. Cause if he did, then he might prove Chiron right. He might be a danger to himself. Which he wasn’t. He was completely in control.
As he entered the infirmary, all eyes turned to him, all except Will. Who wasn’t there.
Leo tried to maintain his composure as he asked between sniffles and a thick voice, “where’s Will?”
Kayla, who was meant to be attending a patient with a dagger in his arm, but was conveniently distracted by him, pointed towards the back, to the medicine pantry.
He nodded his thanks, his lip quivering, as he walked towards the back. Conscious how nobody really seemed to go back to what they were doing, and the blood that he was dripping on the floor.
He barged open the door to the pantry, he was being rude, he didn’t care, where Will jumped, clearly spooked.
“Leo! Leo..what–what happ–”
“Can you fix this?” He sobbed out, tears still streaming down his face.
Will blinked in surprise, “Ye–yeah, yes, of course, come sit down. Chiron said you would come around but I didn’t know–”
Leo just couldn’t seem to stop crying, “yeah, that’s great, Will. Can I get fixed now?”
Will grabbed some disinfectant and bandages, and quickly wrapped his hand, not deigning to comment on his emotional state.
“Ok, that’s all good, but, Leo–”
“Thanks Will.” He went to leave.
The medic grabbed his arm, “no, I can’t let you leave like this.”
Leo wrestled his arm away, “hasn’t stopped you before.”
“What? Dude, you’re my friend.”
That made Leo pause. Friend? Friend? Wow, such good friends. He wasn’t sure how he missed that .
He turned towards him, “we’re not friends, Will. You barely tolerate me. Don’t pretend otherwise.”
Guilt flashed on Will’s face, “Leo–”
But he was gone, as he exited the infirmary, all eyes were still on him, tracking him. A couple of campers wolf whistled, causing more tears to spill. Gods, look at him, he was having a mental breakdown in front of the entire camp.
He felt someone grab his wrist, his punishment wrist, and he let out a yelp. When he turned to yell at whoever grabbed him, he found a pissed off Percy Jackson with an airtight grip around him.
“Let me go.” He seethed, tears spilling into his mouth.
Jackson shook his head, “no.”
He let out a sob. Why did they have to pretend to care now? Why now?
“Let me go.” He pleaded, more eyes turned up, more whispers, interrupted by Percy yelling “hey!” at those who were whispering.
“Everybody out! Everybody go!” Annabeth’s voice carried through the crowd. “Any insubordinate campers will face three months of dish duty. Get out !”
That did it. The eyes lessened, although Leo’s tears didn’t. Percy pulled him in closer, eluding a hiss from the boy.
“What’s wrong with your wrist?” The son of Poseidon whispered.
Leo continued to sob, “let me go.”
“No. What happened?” Gods, Percy probably hated him. No, he definitely did.
Leo had embarrassed himself in front of the whole camp, and now the others were stepping in because they probably felt responsible for his breakdown in a way, what with the prophecy and whatnot.
He sniffled and stifled a sob, “I did it. Is that what you wanna hear? I did it. Now let me go . Please .”
He was ugly crying, ignoring the fact that he was just ugly in general.
A horrified look washed over Percy’s face. “What?” He huffed out. “Dude, why–”
He wasn’t going to let him go, there was nothing Leo could do. Save for burning him, but he wasn’t going to do that. He wasn’t that far gone that he would hurt someone.
So he just sat on the ground, Percy still holding his arm, as he collapsed within himself, and let out the ugliest cries that he had ever cried in his entire life. Except for when his mom died. He didn’t even want to think about that.
He felt Percy sit down next to him and cautiously let go of his arm. He was probably trying to see if he would run away, which honestly he was too tired to do. So he just sat there, let the tears fall and felt more people, the others, he realised, come closer to him. He barely registered that the wounds on his arm were aggravated, and was bleeding through his hoodie, until he felt someone push his sleeve up, causing him to jolt and smack the hand away.
“What are you doing?” He asked, as Will backed off.
He offered him a sad smile, “I just want to make sure your wounds are ok…”
“Well don’t.” He snapped.
The flowers in his chest just kept on dying, figures, he seemed to kill anything good in this world.
“Why don’t you guys like me? What did I do?” He sobbed.
Percy blinked suddenly. “Of course we like you!”
Leo shook his head, the tears spilling down his neck, “you don’t get it.” He whispered.
He felt Jason kneel down next to him, “can you explain it?” He asked softly.
Leo shook his head, “no.” He said softly.
Percy took his hand, “let's head into the infirmary. Get you looked at.”
“No thanks.” Leo whispered. “I’m gonna head back to the bunker.”
He felt Will grab his arm again, but this time he was too exhausted to say anything. How could he be so stupid? He yelled at the very people he wanted to tolerate him, as if that was going to happen now. They probably saw him as some freak who–
Several members of the group let out a loud hiss when Will removed his bandages.
Frank gave him a sad look, he hadn’t said anything lately. When was the last time he’d seen him? “You did this?” He asked.
Leo’s sobs had calmed down by now, but tears still rolled down his cheeks. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Hazel linked her arm through Frank’s, when was the last time he’d talked to her ? “Because, Leo, that–that’s horrible. I can’t even think of any reason why you would do that?”
Leo shrugged, and flicked his eyes up to Piper again, she had tears running down her face, but she wasn’t looking at him, rather, she was staring at her, very entertaining he was sure, shoes.
Jason tapped his upper arm, “Leo?” He prompted.
The Latino took a deep breath, “it was all I had.” He admitted. “I’m sorry.”
Annabeth gave him an incredulous look, “all you had? That’s not true, you had us–”
“No he didn’t.” Piper’s voice interrupted whatever Leo was going to say to that.
She was…sticking up for him? Gods he was going to start crying all over again.
Which he did.
He wiped his face with his free arm, “it’s just…you guys were all I had. And then one day you just didn’t like me anymore and–” he let out a gasp for breath, “I didn’t know what to do anymore, I’m so so sorry. I’ve ruined everything.”
He hissed, as Will pulled his sleeve down, causing his cuts to sting.
Annabeth took a deep breath, crouching down to his level. “Why didn’t you, just, come out of the bunker? Whenever you do you leave so quickly.”
The salty tears slipped into his mouth, “would you have talked to me?”
A flash of offence on her face, “of course? We don’t really like you thinking of us as people who would just ignore you?”
“But you have ignored me.” He admitted. “I leave because you don’t want me there.”
He felt some pressure on his arm as some blood seeped through his sleeve, “I’m sorry. I’m–I’m being dramatic.”
Piper sat down next to him, and took his free hand, “no, you’re not. And I’m sorry.”
She looked towards the rest of the group, “we’re sorry.” She corrected.
More tears made their way down his face as he was hoisted up by Will and dragged to the infirmary. He didn’t really know how to respond to Piper’s words, it was something that he’d been wanting to hear for so long, but now that he had, they felt kind of…empty.
He let Will lead him to an infirmary bed, where many campers and medics watched him with great entertainment, and he let him wrap his cuts with medicine and gauze, let him wipe his face with a towel, and let him help him change into a new hoodie.
When he was settled, and the curtain had been closed, keeping everyone but Piper out, Will sat down next to him. “I didn’t know you felt so alone.” He fiddled with the blanket on the bed. “I’m sorry too.” He whispered.
Leo offered him a comforting smile, “it’s ok.” He whispered. “I get it, I would’ve done it too, probably.”
Piper took his hand as Will looked him in the eye, “no, you wouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve that, at all.”
Some extra tears spilled down his face, “do you think I’ll be alone forever?” He sobbed out. “I’ve never really had friends, I don’t know how to make them really, and when I do I can’t seem to keep them.”
Piper wrapped her arm around him, “that’s not your fault. And you will make friends. Others will soon realise how amazing you are and want to spend every minute with you.”
He looked at her, “promise?” He asked.
She smiled at him, and squeezed his shoulder. “Promise.”